


Alexia Potter's Fantastical Trip To The Past

by mia_marauder_potter



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU Hermione, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Angst, BAMF Hermione Granger, Chaos, Character Death Fix, Complicated Relationships, Department of Mysteries, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Family Magic, Humor, Hurt No Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, LGBT Relationship, LGBTQ Character, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marriage Contracts, Memory Loss, Mentions of Rape, Minor Character Death, Plot Twists, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Regulus Black Deserves Better, Romance, The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, Time Travel, Torture, alexia is the character i cannot let go of, alexia potter is hermione granger, but it ended up just being hurt, but we love them, dont @ me for it, maybe someday i'll be able to let characters die, my bad - Freeform, some of the tropes in this story make me a hypocrite and i absolutely do understand that, supposed to be hurt/comfort, the black family is crazy, this is my emotional support story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:28:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 44
Words: 282,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27565291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mia_marauder_potter/pseuds/mia_marauder_potter
Summary: After a long day of fighting the final battle, Hermione was sent back in time by Snape to the Marauder era to live out her life as Alexia Potter, twin of James Potter. She was scared and tired and traumatized, and it was all she could hope that she could heal there. So, Dumbledore turns her eleven and send her to the Potter home. REWRITTEN and finished. Crossposted under same username.
Relationships: Alexia Potter/Lucius Malfoy, Antonin Dolohov/Hermione Granger, Charlus Potter/Dorea Black Potter, Hermione Granger & James Potter, Hermione Granger/Lucius Malfoy, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Regulus Black/Alexia Potter, Regulus Black/Hermione Granger, Sirius Black & Hermione Granger, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & James Potter & Hermione Granger, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter, Sirius Black/Marlene McKinnon, antonin dolohov/alexia potter
Comments: 31
Kudos: 105





	1. Mold Our Emotions

**Chapter One**

_Now is the climax to the story_

_That gives the demons and angels purpose_

_They fly around while we are walking_

_And mold our emotions just to please them_

**May 2nd, 1998**

Hermione Granger paced back and forth in front of Dumbledore’s portrait, agitated. She was in pain and needed her potions and probably a healer, but she didn’t want to do anything until she spoke with Dumbledore. After everything she and her friends had gone through, she deserved that. She deserved to make him answer for the things he’d done, even in death. 

“Am I interrupting?” 

Hermione spun around, her wand pointed at Snape. Her lips thinned as she recognized the man, but she didn’t lower the wand. She didn’t know what to think of him. “Yes, actually.” 

“Too bad,” he told her, waving his hand at the door to lock it. She tensed, gripping her wand so tight that her knuckles turned white. “There are things you need to know, Granger. Your fight isn’t over.”

“If you’re trying to threaten me-,”

“No,” he assured her stiffly. He looked uncomfortable like he was unsure how to calm her. “This is a warning. You’re going to go to the past.”

“I don’t understand,” Hermione hissed, glaring at her old teacher. He rolled his eyes at her.

“That’s new.”

“Okay, I’m leaving. I’m too tired to deal with your bullshit, Snape.”

He put his hands up. “I mean exactly what I said,” he told her in place of an apology, though if she’d cared, she’d have seen it in his eyes. But she definitely didn’t care. Not that day.

“But it’s not possible,” she denied, shaking her head, exhausted. “The only way is a Time Turner, and those were destroyed when-,”

“When you and your friends stampeded the ministry,” he finished for her in a huff. She glared darkly.

“Careful. It’s been a long day. I haven’t even seen anyone yet for my injuries.”

“You don’t look injured.”

Hermione threw her hands in the air. “That’s it, I’m leaving.” 

He shot her an alarmed look, and she began to realize that he was serious. “No! No. Why don’t I tell you what I know?” 

“That would be fine.”

“I met Alexia Potter when shopping for my first year of Hogwarts,” he explained slowly, obviously uncomfortable with sharing such private information. “She was kind to me and was my first friend, aside from… Lily. Then, when we were parting ways, Mother came across us. She insulted Alexia and her family and shoved her when walking past. I helped Alexia up, but her twin brother James came and thought I had shoved her. He yelled and blamed me. She tried to explain, but she’d not yet gotten under his skin the way she would in years to come. We became rivals that day. 

“She gained some other friends and fell in with her brother and his crowd. She was the reason Lily and I stayed friends for so long - she always promised that I was a good man. We never stopped being friends, even when Lily… did. One day, in 1979, she stopped by my home, crying. She explained that she was from 1998 and that she had to go back soon. She told me that I would be the one to send her back and tell her this story, or what little of it I am willing to share.

“Alexia told me that she would be here, on the night of the final battle, to speak with Dumbledore. She said that I would give her the news instead.”

“And you think I am Alexia Potter,” Hermione said with an eye roll. “This is all ridiculous.”

In response, he threw a softly glowing orb at her and, out of instinct, she caught it. When she realized her mistake, she tried to put it down, but it was practically glued to her hand as it heated up, nearly burning her. 

“Fuck, Snape, I’m going to kill you for this,” she snapped as the orb brightened into a white light. It felt like it was readying itself for something, and the worry made her sick. 

“I look forward to it,” he gave her a smile, possibly the first smile he’d ever given her, and watched as the orb blew up, glass flying into her arms and chest and neck before she was thrown back in time painfully. 

* * *

**May 2nd, 1971**

Albus Dumbledore was not a paranoid man. He’d always kept careful wards around the school, his office, his chambers, everything. He’d always made sure to see each student at least once during their time at Hogwarts, and he made sure to know all of their names - something that was not easy. So, when a nineteen-year-old girl appeared in front of the wall of portraits, unconscious, Dumbledore felt he was right to prod through her mind before waking her. The only issue was that she had defenses that, surprisingly, rivaled his own. 

With a defeated sigh, he put a protective ward around himself and wake the poor girl. Before even opening her eyes, she had her wand in hand and pointed at him. She peeked an eye open and screeched in shock, pulling herself tightly against the wall and keeping her wand trained on him. He raised an eyebrow and she only seemed more upset. 

“Pr- Professor…” she trailed off as a confused mixture of emotion filled her eyes. He glanced down at her injuries and sighed when he saw glass buried into her arms, stomach, and neck, and her fist was clenched around something that glowed through the cracks of her fingers. He had a sinking feeling that he knew what it was. “This isn’t possible.” 

“I’m afraid you’ll find that the impossible is most probable,” he told her solemnly. She made a move to stand and he stared in shock when she didn’t wince in pain. She slowly pulled herself to her feet and glanced around the room, though neither hand wavered in its position. 

“Fuck,” she cursed. He repressed the need to tell her not to swear as she turned to look at him again. “What year is this?” 

“It is 1971,” he told her calmly. His suspicion of how the battered girl got there grew with those words. 

“Shit,” she muttered angrily. 

“I apologize for interrupting, but I’m afraid I must wonder how you’ve come to be here,” he spoke up, distracting her from her frustrated mumbling. 

“Ah,” she shrugged. “A future headmaster.”

“My successor?” he asked curiously. She snorted. 

“Something like that,” she told him, and he did not miss the bitter tone. “Right. I’m Her- oh, should I even share my name?” 

“I think so,” he told her with a tight but kind smile. 

“Well, I’m Hermione Granger,” she offered. She seemed to be debating something, but he interrupted her when he saw blood dripping from her leg. 

“Well, Miss Granger, perhaps we should fix you up while you explain how you came to be here?” 

“I guess,” she shrugged as if it didn’t really bother her. He grew worried that his young girl had found a reason to care so little about such wounds, and he knew only one way to find a reason. He pushed the thought aside and ushered her over to a large chair, thankful that she seemed to trust him immediately, even if she was somewhat uneasy. 

“Please open your hand,” he requested gently. She blinked up at him as she realized she had been clenching her fist. With what seemed like a great effort, she opened her hand for him and let him work on cleaning and healing it. 

“I’m not sure how much I should tell you,” she admitted. “I’d rather you not change the future upon learning its contents.”

“I would never,” he told her, offended. He gently plucked some glass from her skin and siphoned off the blood. “The future cannot be changed, Miss Granger. What will happen for me has already happened for you - time is not so weak that it can be changed. It is firm and unwavering. You coming here has only happened because it already did.”

“That’s… interesting,” she commented, flinching for the first time when he reached to heal her arm. She shook her head at him and he moved on for the moment, working on her stomach next instead. “In my third year, I was granted a time turner so I could take all the classes I could. At the end of the year… some things happened, and my best friend - brother, really - and I used it to save his godfather’s life and the life of a hippogriff.”

“I see,” Dumbledore said slowly. He moved to her leg and quickly cleaned and healed the cut. “So, you only saved them because you’d already done it, then.”

“So you’re saying I can tell you… things?” she asked, obviously unsure. 

“Only enough to ensure you are no threat and only what you are comfortable with,” he offered kindly. Everything he could see had been healed, but he was tired from it. There had been a lot. He cast a few diagnostic spells and waited in horror as the parchment in front of him filled itself out, growing longer when it ran out of room. 

“Okay,” she nodded, ignoring the parchment. “Well, I am Hermione Granger, and you were my headmaster for my entire school education.”

“That’s wonderful,” he said with a tight smile, suddenly concerned over how a student of his had gotten so grievously injured. He had to wonder how she was even functioning after being submitted to such torture so recently. 

“Yes, well… when you died,” she winced at the words, and Dumbledore couldn’t help but agree. “My two friends and I had to go on the run. The war that is brewing today had begun again, and we were the number one, two, and three targets. There were… things we had to do in order to end the war. Anyway, when we left Hogwarts, a man was put in charge of the school. He was, apparently, very loyal to you.”

“Good man,” Dumbledore commented. She obviously had mixed feelings over the man, and as much as he wanted to know everything, he also refused to interrupt if he could avoid it. 

“Yes,” Hermione said, but he didn’t miss the way she glared at her hands. “He was a spy. He was forced to let Voldemort and the Death Eaters into the school.”

“You do not fear his name?” Dumbledore asked in surprise. People were afraid to say the name, even if he hadn’t declared war yet. He was known but not the terrifying man they’d know in a few years. 

"Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself," she told him with an eye roll.

"Who said that?" He wondered.

"You," she laughed. He laughed along with her, though softer.

"I believe I shall credit us both for that quote, as I've never said it before," he informed her. She shrugged as if it didn't matter and moved on.

"So they were in the school. When we… after…" she sucked in a deep breath and glared at her forearm. "After a nasty incident, we found our way back to the school to finish our job. It was awful, Professor. I- I don't know how the students survived."

"I see," he hummed, and she knew he'd already figured out what had happened to her. She was doing her best to avoid looking at the parchment next to her, but she definitely knew it was there and that it was _long_.

"It didn't take long for the battle to begin," she sighed sadly. "Younger students were taken to safety, but anyone old enough and willing to fight did so. The… The Light arrived and fought as well, but… fuck, so many of us died."

"That is war," he told her sadly. He wasn't sure how someone could look so stubbornly okay and completely broken at the same time. It was like she was warring with herself, and neither side was winning.

"Yeah," she shuddered. "My best friend, the one that's like a brother… I thought he was dead. It was the worst few minutes of my life. He… he told me that he did die, but something caused him to come back. I'm not sure I believe that but… well, he was… I think something inside of him died – something that had been placed inside of him. I don't know. We didn't get long to talk after the battle was over. It was… I'm… I don't…" She broke off, gasping to regain control of her breathing, which had become ragged. Dumbledore rose from his chair next to her and found a bottle of calming drought. He handed it to her and she downed it greedily. Within a few agonizing minutes, she was calm enough to speak again.

"Awful things happened to all of us," she said, a faraway look in her eyes. "Friends died, family died, lovers died. I watched as my best friend's ex-girlfriend, my old roommate, was mauled by Greyback. I- well, the war wasn't kind to me, either."

Dumbledore pursed his lips, knowing just how much of an understatement that was. He was sure that he couldn't heal the rest of her without Poppy, but he was equally sure that this was the only time she'd open up the way she was. She wasn't in danger of dying, so he decided to allow her to talk for now.

"After we won," Dumbledore let himself smile at those words. "I spent a little while speaking with my friends before… before going back here to talk to you."

"Oh?"

"I had some… questions for you. I wanted to know why you did some of the things you did," she told him, looking away. He thought he saw a flash of anger, but he couldn't be sure. "But your portrait was asleep. Instead, the man that came after you… he found me there.

"He told me that he'd met me when I was… shopping for first year at Hogwarts. That we became friends and… well, that I was here. He threw this orb thing at me and I caught it on accident. That's when I came here," she finished, looking up at him in worry. He hummed quietly as he thought. He settled on a decision easily.

"Well, then it seems you will be returning to Hogwarts," he told her with fake cheer. She frowned at him.

"Sir, I'm nineteen."

"Yes. I have a solution for that, however," he told her with a real smile. He'd only used the potion once before, and he had a strange love for it. "We'll simply de-age you."

"Simply _what now_?" She asked him, eyes sharp. He fought the urge to smirk.

"It's a simple potion that will de-age you to a certain age. I think eleven will do this time."

"But- but, I don't have a family or money with me- er, I do, but it's not enough for this," she told him, nervous for the first time since she'd arrived.

"Ah, yes. Did the man not mention anyone?" He asked her. She shrugged helplessly, frowning still.

"James Potter and his family. I guess I was his twin," she told him. He did his best not to grin. That was perfect.

"Wonderful! Do you know the Potters in your time?"

"Do I- er, yeah, I mean… one was my best friend, but-,"

"Great! I'll speak with Charlus and Dorea while you're in the infirmary healing up and taking the potion," he told her in a tone that invited no argument.

"Healing? Didn't you just heal me?" She asked. He looked at her in sadness, his stomach clenching at what he'd found.

"There are things that… I would assume you would wish a woman to heal, and things that I simply cannot heal," he told her. He saw her stiffen and curl in on herself as she seemed to understand.

"I- there are parts I don't remember clearly," she told him. He nodded gravely and stood, offering his arm to help her. She took it gratefully and they made their way through the large office.

"Either way, I would rather Poppy give you the potion. It will be uncomfortable for you, and she will… set the appropriate glamours if they are needed," Dumbledore explained as they walked through the halls. She was limping still and he let her lean on him slightly to alleviate the pain.

It wouldn't normally have taken long to get to the infirmary – it was a five-minute walk from his office – but they had to dodge students roaming the halls as they pushed their luck with the curfew. It was almost nine pm, and there were still some students scurrying about to get back to their common rooms before detentions could be handed out.

When they reached the infirmary, Dumbledore placed Hermione on the bed and made his way to Poppy's office. He knocked on the door and gave the witch a sad smile when she opened. "Hello, Poppy."

"Headmaster," she nodded with a frown. "What's wrong?"

"There is a young woman here who has… recently seen battle. She is in need of healing and will need to be de-aged by eight years and have some glamours placed on whatever she like," he told her nervously, handing her the paper with her injuries. It had crossed off the ones he'd already healed for her, and the witch gasped in horror at the words.

"I'll do all I can," she promised, pulling her wand out. He stepped out of the way as she scurried over to Hermione to heal her.

"I'll go make my calls," he told the young witch. "I'll come back when I'm done."

"Thank you, Professor," the girl said nervously. "It's… it's good to see you."

He nodded at her and left the room to call Charlus and Dorea. They would need to know everything to take her in, but he knew they would.

* * *

"Did he already tell you your injuries?" Poppy asked. Hermione shrugged at her.

"He doesn't need to. None of it will shock me."

"Still, you-,"

"And I don't want to know. There are things I do and don't remember, and it's all plenty awful. I don't need more to have nightmares about," she said firmly. Poppy watched her warily but nodded and continued to heal the poor girl.

It all took about a half hour before the woman sat back and wiped the sweat from her brow. The young girl smiled at her kindly as she summoned the potion and sat it on the tray in between them. "You will need to drink all of it to de-age eight years," Poppy informed her.

"Right," the girl scrunched up her nose.

"It tastes like goblin piss," Poppy muttered. The girl's eyes flashed with something before she spoke softly, almost as if speaking to a ghost.

"Have a lot of experience with goblin piss?" She asked. The odd look on her face made the mediwitch ignore the words and pour the potion. She handed the glass over and the girl took it with a grimace but downed it immediately. She blanched at the taste but swallowed.

The effect was almost instantaneous. Her skin shimmered silver and she felt a sickening crunch in her legs as they shrunk. She managed to focus on the constant of pain while it happened, which made it easier to handle. She made no sound as she shrunk down into her eleven-year-old self, and Poppy stared on in wonder.

"Why do I still have my scars?" She shrieked. Poppy jumped at the noise.

"I- well, if they were inflicted by a dark curse, or by a cursed object-,"

"Of course," the girl sighed. "Of course."

"I can glamour them," the woman offered immediately. The girl smiled up at her sadly.

"That would be lovely. Thank you."

"Of course," Poppy said, setting to work immediately. After a few minutes, the girl frowned.

"My teeth."

"Hm?"

"My teeth are back to what they used to be," she explained.

"Would you like me to glamour them as well?"

"Maybe you could just fix them?" She wondered. The witch nodded and set to work, speaking as she did.

"I'll be giving you potions for the pain. Long exposure to the _Cruciatus_ is hard to heal. Only persistence and patience can help you fully recover, not to mention safety from the curse itself. If you run into it again, it'll take longer."

"I thought that you weren't supposed to take pain potion more than five times a week," Hermione frowned nervously. She'd been in constant pain since Malfoy Manor but hadn't been able to do much for it.

"You're not," the woman agreed. "There are special potions for this. A pain reliever, a muscle relaxer, and I'll be supplying you with a good amount of calming draught as well."

"I didn't… I didn't know," Hermione breathed as Madame Pomfrey summoned the potions and dropped them into a small box that was charmed to be bigger on the inside.

"But you have to take all of the potions exactly when you're meant to," Madame Pomfrey insisted. "Or your shaking and pain will return, and it'll take a couple of doses to get rid of them again."

"How long do I have to take it for?"

The woman gave her a sympathetic smile that she absolutely hated. "At least four years with absolutely no interruptions, my dear. Longer if there are any. I'm sorry."

"Me too."

* * *

"How do you always find yourself in these situations?" Dorea laughed when Dumbledore finished his story. The man offered her a dry smile.

"That is the question."

"So, you want us to take her in?" Charlus asked though he knew the answer.

"Yes," Dumbledore answered. "She said that she was referred to as James's twin, Alexia."

"I always wanted a little girl," Dorea informed them as if the decision was made. One pointed look at Charlus and Dumbledore realized that it was.

"We'll take good care of her," Charlus promised.

"Thank you," Dumbledore said, relieved. "Now, I should make my way back to check on her. Shall I bring her over once she's all healed and glamoured?"

"That sounds perfect," Dorea told him. "We'll fill James in while you're gone."

"Wonderful," Dumbledore smiled as he stood. "We'll see you in a bit."

* * *

"James," Charlus called. A few moments later, his son stomped down the stairs and through the manor, arriving in the sitting room. He grinned at his parents as he sat between them. Dorea looked down at him seriously and he gulped, going through a list of his recent actions and wondering what she could've found out about.

"You're not in trouble," she rolled her eyes. "But we've got some important news."

"You're going to have a sister," Charlus blurted. Dorea slapped his arm as James looked at his parents in horror for a moment before staring at his mother's stomach in disgust.

"You-you're… mum, ew!"

"Hm?" She snorted at him, laughter in her eyes. "No, I'm not pregnant."

"What?" He asked, thoroughly confused.

"We're… there's a girl in danger and in need of a home," Charlus told him. "She's going to be introduced to the world as your twin sister. She's your age."

"Really?" James grinned, excited now. He'd always wanted a sibling, but he'd never gotten one. Now he would have a twin.

"Yes," Dorea smiled kindly. "Her name is Alexia."

"Cool," the boy commented happily, nearly bouncing on his feet in excitement.

"James, there's something you need to understand," Charlus said seriously. "She's been hurt very badly. She was healed, but she might not be healed inside. She's going to need patience and kindness and love. Can you do that?"

"Yeah," he shrugged.

"This is serious, James," Charlus said. "She could be very sad, and she probably will be, but she's also probably very defensive. She needs someone to take care of her if she's not okay. Can you do that?"

"Yes," James said, immediately feeling protective of her. If she couldn't take care of herself, he would do it.

"It's your job to take care of her, especially while you're both at Hogwarts," his mother told him. He nodded seriously, beginning to understand what they were saying.

"I'll take care of her," he swore. "I promise I'll always take care of her."

* * *

"You… want my wand?" She asked, gripping the object in question tightly, as if ready to fight. It was an odd look on a kid, which only frustrated her further.

"Yes," Dumbledore told her sadly. "This is the wand of Hermione Granger."

"And?"

"You are Alexia Potter now," he reminded her. She blinked.

"Oh… please keep it safe. I want it back when I… go back."

"I will leave it in my office."

"Thank you."

"Come," he said softly, leading her toward the floo after taking the wand from her. She pushed her hair – now black and long, having been given a permanent potion to change it – behind her ears as she followed him. He opened the floo and ushered her in, giving her the address. She grabbed the powder and threw it down, yelling "Potter Manor!"

She steadied herself before she could fall, still feeling awkward in her eleven-year-old frame. She dusted off the robes she'd been given by Poppy and looked around. The room was large. It had multiple chairs scattered about and there was a coffee table in the center of the room. She stepped out of the fireplace and froze as she heard someone running toward the room. She reached for her wand and cursed when she couldn't find it.

"Mum doesn't like swearing," a voice called, amused. She huffed indignantly.

"I didn't mean to," she told him, looking up, her breath catching at the sight. She was shocked to find a young Harry standing in front of her. She bit her lip. No, not Harry. Just… Harry's dead father. He smirked at her and walked over, looking her up and down.

"You do look a lot like me," he offered. She raised an eyebrow.

"Magic," she explained, earning an amused snort.

"I'm James," he told her.

"I know."

"You're Alexia."

"Apparently," she muttered.

"We're twins," he tried. She looked up at him again.

"So I've heard."

Before either could say any more, the fireplace roared to life and James pulled her away as the green flames jumped up. She did her best not to flinch at the contact, but he seemed to notice because he immediately let go as soon as she was out of the way.

"Ah, hello Mister Potter!" Dumbledore grinned. "I see you've met your new sister."

"She swore," he laughed. Dumbledore raised an eyebrow at Hermione – no, Alexia – and she just shrugged at him.

"There you are!" Dorea called, sweeping into the room. Alexia's breath caught at the sight of the Lady of the House. She couldn't tell what it was, but something about the woman nagged at her heart, soul, and magic. She realized she'd felt the same with James, but had been distracted by thinking he was Harry. "I wasn't sure when you'd be back."

Alexia figured she'd actually wanted the new siblings to have a moment together, but said nothing. Dumbledore simply continued to grin. "She's all fixed up now. I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got some things to attend to if we want the new Miss Potter to be officially recognized in the community."

"Thank you, Albus," Dorea said as the man nodded, winked at Alexia, and left through the floo again. Alexia felt herself breathe out nervously. She instinctively trusted the Potters. She wanted to attribute that to Harry being a brother to her, but this felt… different.

"It's wonderful to meet you," Dorea said sweetly. "I'm Dorea, but you may want to just call me mum."

"I- oh," her chest tightened painfully as she suddenly remembered her own parents, the Grangers. She'd not been on good terms with them for a while because of her insistence on going back to the wizarding world, even under threat of war, but they were her family and she loved them. She wondered if they were happy in Australia. "I'm… Alexia."

"We know," James told her. She was shocked by how gentle he was being compared to when he walked in. "Wanna go meet Dad, or do you wanna eat?"

"I- um, I'd like to meet him. I'm not hungry," she added. Dorea gave her a kind smile and turned on her heel, walking from the room. She looked at James with wide eyes but he just offered her his arm. She took it warily and they walked down the hall – a very long hall, at that – and into Charlus's study.

The man smiled at her and she felt that same breathtaking feeling flutter around in her heart and magic and her soul. It was stronger this time, and she realized that it was because they were all in the same room. She felt her breathing quicken as she looked around at them and knew a panic attack was coming, but James squeezed her arm gently before it hit and she was pulled back to reality.

"I'm so glad to meet you," Charlus told her, standing and walking to her. She let him give her a gentle hug before he pulled back. "I think you'll be quite a blessing to us."

She paused in confusion. "You… you do?"

"Yes," Dorea breathed. The woman didn't offer any explanation, so Hermione – no, Alexia – just nodded shortly before a thought popped into her head and she put a hand over her forearm, a habit she imagined would take a while to get rid of.

"I'm a mu- a muggleborn," she informed them. "I don't know nearly as much about Pureblood society as I'd like."

"Well, that's fine. We'll teach you what you need to know before fall, but we don't practice most of it," Charlus informed her.

"Okay," she gave a sigh of relief.

"Now, there will be plenty of time to get to know each other tomorrow, but you look exhausted," Dorea said. Alexia blushed as she realized it was probably true. She'd spent two days fighting for her life and the lives of everyone she loved, and then was forced into… whatever this was. She was bone tired, and she would probably do anything for some sleep. "James, why don't you show her to her room?"

"Sure!" The boy said excitedly. She smiled softly at him and said goodnight to her new parents. James took her arm again and led her out of the study. They walked in silence until James seemed to burst with excitement.

"Your room is right across the hall from mine," he told her happily.

"That's nice," she said absently, trying to keep track of where they were going in her head.

"I'm gonna call you Lex," he said. She narrowed her eyes at him.

"I hate nicknames."

"That's too bad," he laughed.

"Fine, but only if I get to call you Jamie," she retorted. He frowned and thought about it before shrugging.

"That's fine. Mum and Dad only call me James or sometimes monkey."

"Monkey?" Alexia laughed. He stuck his tongue out at her and changed the subject.

"We've got five months to get to know each other," he commented. "And then it's Hogwarts."

"Oh," her eyes widened as it really sunk in that she was going to have to go back. She'd have to see where Lavender had her throat torn out, or where Percy had been nearly crushed by a wall. She'd have to walk past the room where she'd fought Bellatrix and not throw up, and she would have to see Myrtle's bathroom and not cringe at the memory of not only killing a Horcrux but of the Basilisk, which was technically still alive right then. She would have to walk in the Great Hall where she had seen the people she'd come to know and love lying dead, unmoving, their blood soaking into the stone beneath them. She would have to walk on the grounds where her friends fell in front of her. She would have to walk by the place that Snape had nearly died. She would have to pass the clearing in the woods where Harry had died and stand in the courtyard where his body had been held by Hagrid. She'd have to remember Harry. She'd have to remember them all. She would remember the Weasleys who had almost lost Percy, who had just joined his family again that night. She would remember Harry, who had nearly lost Remus in that battle, the last connection he had to his father, the man… no, the boy she was walking with at that moment, and she wasn't sure she could do it. Too much had happened there. Too many had died.

She wasn't sure she could do it.

* * *

It was a truly terrifying moment when Alexia had begun shaking next to him. He'd turned to ask if she was alright, and she had begun crying. He tried to comfort her and ask her what was wrong, but she couldn't seem to see or hear him. He was scared and worried, so he did what any rational wizard would do.

He called for his mum.

Dorea had made it to them in a flash and had taken the sobbing girl into her arms and moved into her new bedroom. She left the door open, which James took as an invitation in, and moved to set her on the bed. It had taken a long time to calm her down, and by the time James's new twin had calmed, she looked every bit as broken as his parents had warned him she might be.

Dorea had left him with the orders to spend the night in his sister's room, but he'd planned on sneaking in after his mother had left, anyway. As soon as Dorea closed the door, Alexia glanced at him sadly, and he felt his heart constrict. It was his fault she'd freaked out, he knew that much.

"Don't be ridiculous," she muttered. He blinked at her.

"What?"

"It's not your fault," she explained with a sigh. "Jamie, do you know what PTSD is?"

"No," he replied, frowning. She leaned back in the large bed, throwing the covers over her small self. He hesitated but crawled in next to her, and she immediately rested her head on his shoulder.

"It is post-traumatic stress disorder," she told him. "It means that someone experiences something traumatic and the brain is… I guess damaged by the trauma. Say your friends are killed in front of you. That could cause PTSD."

"That's horrible," he said with wide eyes. She nodded gravely.

"I… saw some really bad stuff. Things that kids should never see."

"Like your friend being killed in front of you?"

"And more," she agreed. "Anyway, your brain remembers this trauma, and it sets certain triggers to avoid encountering said trauma again."

"I don't understand."

"Well, say you saw your friend die in Hogwarts," she offered. "A mention of Hogwarts or being there could set you off. Your brain would be warning you that there is danger where there is none, just because it recognized something."

"Okay," James said slowly. It was beginning to make sense. "So something… triggered you, and that's why that happened?"

"Yeah, I guess so," she shrugged. "I already- oh Merlin…"

"What?"

"I just… I have these nightmares when I sleep…," she winced and he frowned. "That's another part of PTSD. Sometimes you… relive it in your dreams."

"Well, I'm here," James said firmly. "So tell your brain I'll protect you."

"That's not how-,"

"Always protect you," he interrupted, meeting her eyes. She closed her mouth and nodded. He seemed so sure that she couldn't help but believe him.

* * *


	2. No Hope, No Fear

**Chapter 2** **  
**  
_I am cold, can you hear_ _  
_ _  
_ _I will fly, with no hope, no fear_ _  
_ _  
_ _And the ground taunts my wings_ _  
_ _  
_ _Plummet as I sing, plummet as I sing._

**July 20th, 1971**

Alexia had been at the Potters for almost two months. It was a very quick two months in which she realized quite a few things, one of the most important being that James and Harry really were a lot alike in much more than looks, and she already loved him. They'd been attached at the hip since that first night, and he'd refused to sleep anywhere but in her room. Dorea and Charlus had reluctantly agreed, knowing that they couldn't keep it up at school.   
  
Alexia had fallen into an easy routine of playing with James, gardening with Charlus, and browsing the library with Dorea. Her parents knew where she was really from and how old she really was, but they refused to treat her differently from James, which she was grateful for.   
  
They'd had a family outing a week after she arrived. They'd gone to Diagon Alley to get her a new wardrobe and familiarize her with the area and the people. It had been lovely, and she'd had a wonderful time exploring the new era she was in. 

It was mid-June when James first asked her if she wanted to fly. She turned him down, instead deciding to read a fascinating book on House Elves that Dorea had left out for her when Alexia had told the woman about S.P.E.W., something which she was now ashamed of, after learning how House Elf magic worked.   
  
James asked again and again until, on the last day of June, Alexia was finally truly annoyed with him. He'd pestered her all morning and she managed to ignore him and escape to the solitude of the pond in the gardens. She had a book on pureblood etiquette in her lap when she heard a noise. Her head shot up and she stood defensively against a tree. Dumbledore had taken her wand, but she still knew a decent amount of wandless magic, and she could even do most of it silently. So, when James jumped out of the bush with a weird ball in his hand, that she would later remember was a quaffle, she cast first and asked questions later.   
  
She hit him with a simple stunner, but it was strong. When she saw it was him, she shrieked and scurried over. She dropped to her knees and patted his cheek gently, casting a quiet " _finite incantatem_ " as she did so. It took him a minute before he woke and frowned at her.   
  
"Lex?" He asked, confused. She sighed in relief and hugged him tightly. It was just a stunner, but she felt horrible.   
  
"I'm so sorry, Jamie," she gushed. "It was an accident. I didn't see it was you, and I've been so jittery lately…"   
  
"It's okay," he hugged her back, though he was still confused. "Er- what did you do?"   
  
"What did- oh. It was just a stunner. I’m sorry.”

“Merlin.”

"I'll fly as long as you don't tell," she promised. His eyes lit up and every thought of what had happened slipped away.   
  
"Deal!" He told her, standing up quickly. She pulled herself up after him and felt fear curl in her stomach.   
  
"Jamie?" She called. He turned back to her with a questioning look on his face. "I'm scared of heights."   
  
"Oh." He looked defeated but shrugged. "Then I'll teach you, and we won't go more than a couple of feet up to start."   
  
"Thanks," she sighed in relief. They made their way to the clearing near the house and he got on the broom. She got on hesitantly, but she trusted him. He kicked his feet off the ground and she squealed as the broom rose a little. She clung to her brother tightly as he flew around carefully maneuvered them, explaining to her what he was doing and how, and telling her the reasons why it was safe. She frowned at him after fifteen minutes of him waxing on about flying.   
  
"My best friend nearly died multiple times by falling off a broom, and he's the best flier I've met."   
  
"You wound me, sister," James teased before answering her. "There are multiple reasons that someone could fall off. I'd say someone was cursing him-,"   
  
"Twice," she admitted.   
  
"-he has bad luck-,"   
  
"Very bad."   
  
"-or he's not as good of a flier as you think he is," James smirked, and Alexia hit his shoulder.   
  
"He's a fine flier," she denied. "But I guess you're right. He's never had good luck. But still… it's a little scary after seeing how hurt someone can get."   
  
"But Lex, if you're careful and safe, there's very little chance you'll get hurt," he told her stubbornly as he set them on the ground. She jumped off the broom and eyed it suspiciously.   
  
"I know what you're about to ask me," she sighed.   
  
"I'll be careful," he promised. She huffed.   
  
"That's what they all say."   
  
"I mean it!" James denied. "I won't let you get hurt, Lexi."   
  
"I know," she said with a sigh. "Fine-," James let out a whoop and she rolled her eyes. "but only when mum or dad are home, and only if you promise to let me teach you how to land from a fall properly."   
  
"You know how to do that?" He asked, intrigued. She shrugged. She'd taken self-defense classes since she was five, and she'd only taken more when she entered the wizarding world. She knew how to defend herself, but it also came in handy with things like falling.   
  
"I know a lot of things," was all she said.   
  
"You're scary," he laughed. "As scary as mum."   
  
"Don't let her hear you say that," Alexia grinned when James shuddered at the thought. "Come on, let's go in. It's hot out here."   
  
James offered his arm and she took it. He escorted her into the house and they spent the rest of the day hiding from their parents in a magical fort in one of the guest rooms, a place they'd built when Alexia was overwhelmed and wanted a hideout. There was a password to get in, and they were the only ones who knew it. James muttered "sugar quills" – his idea upon finding out that they were her favorite – and ducked inside. She followed him in and zipped up the blanket on the outside, locking them in.   
  
Eventually, the twins fell asleep in there, cuddled up and tucked away from the world.   
  


* * *

**August 1st, 1971**   
  
"James Charlus Potter!" Dorea called up the stairs impatiently. Alexia giggled quietly along with Charlus as the woman tapped her foot.   
  
"Want me to get him?" Alexia asked.   
  
"No, Lexi, I'd like to know how much of our time he's going to waste on his own," Dorea told her. She suppressed more giggles at how desperately in trouble James was, and grinned as he stomped down the stairs, looking confused and flustered. He was pulling on his outer robes as he reached the bottom of the steps and noticed her look.   
  
"Sorry, Mum," he mumbled. She pinned him with a glare and he shrugged. "Lexi never woke me up."   
  
"I did too!" Alexia denied angrily. "Besides, you woke up on your own before I got here. Don't blame me for your laziness."   
  
"Children," Charlus laughed. "It's fine. We're all awake now. Ready to go?" They both nodded and Alexia grabbed Charlus's arm while James grabbed Dorea's, sticking his tongue out at his sister. She screwed up her nose and ignored him as Charlus twisted his foot. She felt herself being pulled through a tube and spat out in Diagon Alley and pushed down the anxiety that tried to claw its way out. She must've done a bad job, though, because James made his way over immediately and held his arm out. She grabbed it thankfully and leaned against her twin, relaxing as they walked through the alley together.   
  
"They look so sweet," Dorea whispered to Charlus with a loving smile. "They look like-,"   
  
"Like twins," he finished for her. She nodded happily and stopped her children to pin them each with a hard look so they knew she was serious.   
  
"You two can explore together while we go get some things," she told them. The twins shared a look that she couldn't decipher – something that was driving her crazy, since it happened more and more lately – and nodded together. "Be good," she warned them. To her surprise, it was Alexia who chuckled, but the girl just nodded and gave her a mock salute. She sighed and took her husband's arm, pulling him away and praying to Morgana that her children didn't destroy the Alley.   
  


* * *

  
"Jamie," Alexia whined. "I told you before, I don't want my own broom yet."   
  
"But they've got a new one!" He argued. She gave him the same exact look their mother had given him when he'd run down the stairs late, and he shivered with slight fear. "Fine."   
  
"I wanna check out the books," she announced. She wanted to see what priceless first additions and possibly even rare books she could find. "C'mon."   
  
"Lex, I don't wanna," he huffed.   
  
"Fine," she narrowed her eyes. "I'll be right next door. Use your coin if you need me." She had given James one of the many extra DA Galleons she'd had in her beaded bag, and they used the coins to communicate when separated. Some would call constant communication separation anxiety and codependency, but Alexia just called it being a twin… which was weird, since they weren't twins by blood. Although… she shook her head. She'd ask Dorea about bonds later.   
  
"Be careful," her brother warned her seriously. "If you can't get to the coin-,"   
  
"Scream," she finished for him, rolling her eyes. "I know. I will."   
  
"I'll come to get you in ten minutes," he promised. She nodded and kissed his cheek before walking out of the Quidditch shop. The bookstore was right next door and she walked into the empty place, eyes greedily scanning the shelves. It was almost an entirely different inventory than in her time, and she wanted to read it all. She made her way to find books on animagi training first – she wanted to buy them before the Marauders did and hopefully become an animagi quickly. The books were simple to find and she slipped them into the charmed shopping basket and next found the potions books. She wanted to do her best to learn Potions this time, in a place taught by someone that didn't despise her because of her House.   
  
The thought passed through her mind just as her eyes fell upon a boy in dark blue robes standing at the other end of the aisle. He had long, black hair that was tied up in a ponytail, and she gasped, realizing who it was. She picked out her books and went to the register, shaking slightly. She had no idea what to do.   
  
"Madame May's Guide to Herbolic Potion Making?" The owner asked with a raised eyebrow as he bagged Alexia's books. She grinned up at him.   
  
"I've heard it's a fascinating read," she explained. The man looked at her in wonder but said nothing else except to request two galleons. She passed them over and made her way out quickly. She was halfway back to the Quidditch store when someone tapped her shoulder. She took a very short moment to calm herself out of hexing whoever it was and turned to see Severus Snape looking at her curiously. The sight of a young Snape made her slightly uncomfortable, but she offered a smile. "Yes?"   
  
"I- Well, I don't mean to be rude, it's just- um-,"   
  
"Do you like potions?" She asked, trying to help the poor boy. He smiled at her – smiled! – and nodded happily.   
  
"It's very interesting. I've always loved playing with potions, the ones Mum lets me brew anyway, and making them into new, different things."   
  
"I've not always had good luck with potions," Alexia admitted with a sad sigh. "But they've always amazed me. I wish I could get better."   
  
"Will you be going to Hogwarts?" He asked her hopefully. She grinned at him, a Slytherin-like smugness filling her eyes.   
  
"Yes, I will. This is to be my first year."   
  
"Mine too," Snape told her excitedly. "Maybe we can study together?"   
  
"I'd love that!" She laughed as a blush crept up her cheeks. "Sorry. I'm Alexia Potter, but you can call me Lexi or Alex."   
  
"I'm Severus Snape, but my friends call me Sev," he replied, offering a hand. She went to shake it but was interrupted as a woman appeared behind her new friend, looking scandalized. The woman pulled Severus back against her and he winced.   
  
"Severus!" The woman scolded. "We do not speak with such… filth."   
  
"Excuse me?" Alexia asked as her arm fell to her side. She stared coldly at the woman, though she made sure to offer a quick wink to Severus.   
  
"Your family are blood traitors!" The woman accused. Alexia reeled in shock. She was a pureblood in society's eyes and… she knew that being a blood traitor was apparently bad in society, but to be called one for the first time after being called a mudblood for seven years was shocking. 

"Damn right," Alexia said with an eye roll. "I'd much rather be a blood traitor than a prejudiced toad like you."  
  
"Well, I never!" The woman stared at her in anger and pushed her son away and brushed by, knocking Alexia down in the process. The girl controlled her fall and all she got were some stinging hands. She flinched as someone touched her back and reminded herself that Snape had told her he would try and help her up. The boy, however, seemed to understand that touching her was making things worse, because he pulled away, looking at his hands in silent shock.   
  
"Lex!" A voice called. She looked up to see James running out of the shop, looking worried. She winced, knowing what was about to happen. He pulled her to her feet and grabbed her face in his hands, looking her over. She allowed him to assure himself that she was alright before she turned to Severus, but James was already ahead of her. "You did this!"   
  
"No," she told him loudly. "He did-,"   
  
"Why did you?" James asked. Severus looked between the two of them, stunned.   
  
"Jamie, he was only helping-,"   
  
"That's not what I saw! He touched you and you winced!"   
  
"I wince when everyone touches me!" Alexia denied.   
  
"Not when I do!" James yelled back.   
  
"Because you're… you're my twin! You're different! You're just Jamie!"   
  
"I’m going to… go," Severus offered. “I’ll see you at school.” Before Alexia could call him back, he'd already slipped into the crowd. She spun on her heel to glare at James, but he glared right back.   
  
"I can't believe you," she huffed, snatching her hands away from him and stomping off. He followed her, but he already knew this was going to be bad.   
  


* * *

**August 13th, 1972**   
  
"You know Lexi is… different," Charlus said. James frowned at his father and nodded quietly. "She knows more than she should at your age and does or says things that sometimes don't make sense."   
  
"Yeah," James sighed. He'd gotten used to the way she was, but sometimes he did ponder what was going on inside her head.   
  
"There are some people that might not like her because of that," Charlus said carefully. "They might make fun of her or, Merlin forbid, hurt her."   
  
"Why?" James asked, alarmed.   
  
"Because she's different," his father said sadly. "It's called bullying, son."   
  
"That's stupid."   
  
"It is."   
  
"I won't let it happen," James promised. Charlus smiled softly.   
  
"I'm glad. She's still healing, and the kind of healing that she's doing… it can take a lifetime. We need to be-,"   
  
"Patient, kind, caring, loving," James said proudly. He'd made sure to be all of those things, and he knew he was doing a good job.   
  
"Exactly. You'll take care of our girl?"   
  
"I'll take care of her," James promised again. "I'll always take care of her."   
  


* * *

**September 1st, 1971**   
  
"This is repetitive, Mum," Alexia whined. She was finishing her final etiquette lesson of the summer, and Dorea had just made her review everything she knew. She was now a finely polished pureblood princess, according to her mother.   
  
"Just answer the question."   
  
"Fine," she huffed. "If a pureblood man that is betrothed to another approaches me alone, I will excuse myself and inform his betrothed and the Lord of his House.”   
  
"Unless?"   
  
"Unless he is an enemy of the House, in which case I will excuse myself and spread rumors," Alexia grinned evilly. The last bit had been an add-on by Dorea, and she was glad for it.   
  
"Good!" Dorea told her. She waved her wand, sending the book into Alexia's trunk and closing it. "Are you ready to go?"   
  
"No," Alexia pouted.   
  
"I know it'll be hard," Dorea told her gently, pulling her into a loving hug. "But you know you must go. There is no way you'll ever get over this otherwise."   
  
"I know, it's just… I'm going to see people that I watched die," she looked up at her mother with sad eyes. "I'm going to make friends with people I know to be dead. Some that I knew in the future.”   
  
"So you will become friends and give them the joy of knowing you," her mother told her. She was quiet for a few minutes before nodding.   
  
"We'll be bringing home Sirius for Christmas if that's alright."   
  
"Sirius- the Black heir?" Dorea asked in surprise. Alexia nodded sadly.   
  
"Walburga is a bitch," was all she said, but Dorea understood, having met her niece a few times before.   
  
"I see."   
  
"We're going to be late," Alexia sighed.   
  
"And then your father and brother will never stop making fun of us."   
  
"Let's go," she said, groaning at the thought.   
  


* * *

  
Platform Nine and Three Quarters was busier than Alexia had ever seen it. It was bursting to the seams with people, and she wondered quietly if it had been enlarged. She shook off the irrelevant thought and clung to her mother and Jamie as the loud noises and bustling people assaulted her senses. She threw a panicked look at her mother who picked up the pace. Charlus helped them place their luggage on the train and then they left to say goodbye.   
  
Alexia threw herself at Charlus while James hugged Dorea. He wrapped his arms around her adoringly and held her tight. "I love you, Princess."   
  
"I love you, too, Daddy," she muttered into his robes. He kissed the top of her head and traded her for James, and she fell into Dorea's loving embrace. The witch stroked her hair and hummed quietly to calm the younger girl. Alexia looked up at her mum with tears prickling at her eyes.   
  
"I'll write," Alexia promised.   
  
"I know you will," Dorea laughed. "It's your brother that I worry about."   
  
"I'll make him write," the girl rolled her eyes fondly.   
  
"We'll see you at Christmas," her mum promised. She nodded curtly and pulled out of the hug to link arms with James, who was waiting as patiently as an excited eleven-year-old boy could be.   
  
"We love you," she told them again.   
  
"We love you, too," their parents told them together. Alexia and James shared a look and climbed into the train together, carefully not looking back.   
  


* * *

  
James was not surprised when his sister had clung to his side, shaking, and stayed there up until she'd been forcibly removed by her bladder. He'd offered to escort her and was relieved at the horrified look on her face. She tilted her chin up and left the compartment, though he could see her wand poking into her hand.   
  
Not three minutes after Alexia had left did a knock sound on the door. He looked up warily and waved the person in. A boy in disgustingly green robes walked in. He had obsidian black hair that was past his ears and… and the same silver eyes as his mother.   
  
"I got booted out of my compartment by some disgusting Slytherins," the boy said, huffing indignantly. James raised an eyebrow at him.   
  
"I'd have guessed you were Slytherin by your robes."   
  
"No," the boy blanched at the thought. "I hope not."   
  
"Me too. I'm gonna be a Gryffindor," James grinned proudly.   
  
"I hope I'm a Gryffindor," the boy sounded as if it were a fanciful dream.   
  
"What's your name?"   
  
"Sirius Black," he said, and James's eyes widened at the words. He'd heard Lexi mention him in passing, and he'd gotten the feeling she hadn't meant to.   
  
"James Potter," he said, offering his hand. His sister had seemed fond of him, so he might as well be nice. Sirius took it and glanced at the seat across from him. James nodded. Lexi would want to sit next to him anyway.   
  
"Jamie, I got you a- oh," she gasped as she opened the door and her eyes fell upon Sirius. James could see multiple emotions flash across her face. Guilt, grief, love, but she seemed to settle on a forced curiosity. "Hello."   
  
"Hello," Sirius smiled and looked between the two, obviously noticing the similarities. "I'm Sirius."   
  
"I- I'm- um-,"   
  
"This is Alexia Potter, my twin sister," James supplied, pulling her next to him. She grabbed his hand and gripped it tight – tighter than he thought was healthy – but she smiled at Sirius, and it seemed genuine.   
  
"You can call me Lexi… or Alex, whatever's fine," she told him. Sirius watched her closely for a long moment before smirking.   
  
"Alright… Kitten," he muttered. Her eyes widened and James gasped as he felt a pang of pain flash through him and gazed at Lex in wonder. Had that been her? He'd heard of twins having that sort of connection, and they had already found they could talk without speaking, but… they weren't really twins. Were they?   
  
"I- I hate nicknames," she told him.   
  
"Good thing it's not a nickname," he retorted. "It's a pet name."   
  
"You're awful," she said with a roll of her eyes. The boy grinned mischievously.   
  
"You flatter me."   
  
They talked quietly for a while after that, but James was distracted by the way Alexia had reacted to Sirius. She'd been so… sad. It was like she wasn't able to see that he was right there, and like she knew him, even though he didn't seem to know her. He was jolted from his thoughts when he heard a shout from outside. Before he could even react, Alexia was on her feet with her wand out. She slid out of the compartment and James followed her, cursing quietly.   
  
What they found was over as soon as Alexia stepped in. She quickly hexed the boys that were towering over a small, scrawny first year, and ushered him into their compartment, closing and locking the door behind her with a quick wave of her wand.   
  
"Are you okay?" She asked quietly as she gently and silently – something that Sirius had obviously noticed by the amazed look on his face – healed the bruise the boy had. He looked up at her in wonder and James watched his sister recoil.   
  
"Thank you," the boy said. James felt anger and pure, unadulterated hatred flash through, but it was gone as suddenly as it had come. Alexia offered him the same kind smile that Dorea often offered herself.   
  
"I don't abandon friends in need," she told him seriously. He blinked up at her in shock.   
  
"Friends?"   
  
"Yeah," Sirius shrugged. "We could be a merry little band of misfits."   
  
"I'll be right back," Alexia said dreamily. James tried to follow her but she just shoved him back into the compartment. He frowned, turning to his new friends. Sirius quirked an eyebrow.   
  
"Is she always so… odd?" He asked.   
  
"Yeah," James shrugged. "But she's my twin and she's perfect." He said it like he was daring someone to deny it, but no one did. Sirius felt odd around the girl, but Sirius couldn't deny that she was amazing. He definitely wanted to keep her as a friend and in his life. Peter was enamored. She had saved him and offered him friendship and safety, and he'd never had that before. No, neither boy was willing to deny that Alexia Potter was perfect in her own odd way.   
  


* * *

  
"There's room in my compartment," A girl announced as she slid the door open. Remus yelped, jumping, and turned to look at her. He looked around for anyone else she could be talking to and found no one.   
  
"Huh?" He asked smartly.   
  
"I said, there's room in my compartment," she repeated patiently. Remus frowned.   
  
"For…?"   
  
"For you," the girl told him like he was stupid. "We're building a merry little band of misfits, and I want you in there."   
  
"M-me? Why?"   
  
"Because."   
  
"Because why?" He countered.   
  
"Because I am your friend now," she announced. He looked at her uneasily.   
  
"I don't even know your name," he reminded her. Her mouth opened as if she'd forgotten that and a blush crept up her cheeks.   
  
"I'm Alexia Potter, but you can call me Lexi or Alex."   
  
"I- okay."   
  
"And you're Remus Lupin," she told him with a kind smile. The lack of hostility shocked him.   
  
"You- you know who I am?" He asked. She shrugged loosely.   
  
"I know a lot of stuff."   
  
"Oh," he replied.   
  
"So, are you coming?" She asked him.   
  
"Coming where?" He asked.   
  
"To my compartment," she told him with a tired sigh that he realized was not exaggerated. He could feel the tiredness and emotional strain coming off of her in waves and stood immediately. She needed to sit and rest, and she didn't seem to be giving up. "Oh, good."   
  
Remus, wondering what on earth he was doing, followed the girl through the train. She pulled open a door about halfway there and made him go in first, closing and magically locking the door after her. Once that was done, she collapsed onto the bench next to a boy that looked just like her. He raised an eyebrow and Remus watched as they had a creepily silent conversation.   
  
"I'm James Potter," the boy said, offering his hand. Remus's eyes widened as he stared at it, but after a pointed glare from Alexia – Alex, he decided – he shook it, wondering once more how this had happened. "I'm her twin."   
  
"I'm Remus Lupin," he told James quietly. Alex leaned into her twin's side and closed her eyes, and Remus knew from personal experience that she was doing deep breathing, something he used to coach himself out of pain or anxiety. He felt both coming from her and winced.   
  
"Peter Pettigrew," a scrawny boy said. Remus felt rather than saw Alex tense at the name and filed that information away for later. He nodded a hello.   
  
"Sirius Black," another boy, the one he was next to, said with a lopsided grin. "It seems our merry band of misfits is full."   
  
"Your- what? But you've just met me," Remus protested. Sirius laughed.   
  
"We've all just met, except for the Wonder Twins there," the obsidian haired boy informed him. Remus frowned.   
  
"But you three are cousins."   
  
"So?" Sirius asked. James seemed busy helping Alex relax, and Remus was glad he was so protective and caring. She seemed like she needed him. "I'm probably related to half the people on this train. Besides, they're 'blood traitors.'"   
  
"Damn proud of it," Alex sniffed, not looking up. James snorted and muttered something about Diagon Alley, which earned him a slap on the head and she pulled away from him, arms crossed. She looked around the compartment and instead moved next to Sirius, dropping her head on his lap as she laid across the bench and plopped her feet into his own lap. Remus froze for a moment but relaxed quickly. Sirius looked down at her in wonder but began playing with her hair, something that seemed to relax her a great deal.   
  
They were a merry band of misfits, but at least they were merry, and at least they were together.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, please bear with me for the beginning of this fic. I think I started it like four years ago, around when I first started actually writing. I promise it gets better later.


	3. Isle Of Flightless Birds

**Chapter 3**   
  
_All we are is an isle of flightless birds_ _  
_ _  
_ _We find our own worth in giving birth and stuff_ _  
_ _  
_ _We're lining our homes against winding roads_ _  
_ _  
_ _And we think the going is tough_

**September 1st, 1971** _  
_   
It had taken Alexia nearly the entire train ride to relax, and that all flew out the door when she saw the castle. She was sandwiched between Sirius and James with Remus in front of them and Peter in the back. It was an oddly protective stance, and it wouldn't go unnoticed.   
  
When they got on the boats, she had been completely calm. In fact, she was still calm as she made her way to the castle and to the doors of the great hall. She was so calm that James was worried. Remus, however, knew that she wasn't actually calm. He only wondered what happened that caused her such stifling terror.   
  
She made her way through the halls and marked in her mind where her friends had died. When she'd come across the spot where Remus had fallen, she grabbed nervously at his hand. Under any other circumstances, he'd have shoved her away, but… she emitted such strong emotions that he was overcome and allowed her to hold onto him. It was that, more than anything, that got her into the Great Hall.   
  
That was where Remus felt her shut down. It was like every emotion had been shut off, and it scared him. He poked James and leaned over. "Something's wrong with Alex."   
  
"There's nothing wrong with her," he denied angrily. Remus resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose.   
  
"I mean she's extremely upset," he hissed. James's mouth made an "o" shape and he turned back to his sister, pulling her into his arms. She sagged there, and the three other wizards grouped together to shield them from prying eyes, though Remus stayed back a little, not wanting to touch them.   
  
Alexia was staring painfully at the floor beside the Gryffindor table when she was called to be sorted. She blinked in shock and made her way up to the Hat, and her brother offered her smiles of support. She forced herself to drop her Occlumency shields for the Hat and winced as it was placed on her head.   
  
"Oh, how interesting," it said. "I've already sorted you. But no… I sorted Hermione Granger."   
  
"I am Alexia Potter," she told it. If a hat could roll its eyes, she swore this one just did.   
  
"I suppose. But the things you've seen… oh, that's why you don't… I see why you don't appreciate being here. Do you even belong in this school, then?"   
  
"Yes," she snapped.   
  
"Of course… of course. I wonder… you would make a wonderful Slytherin, you know…"   
  
"I will feed you to the bloody giant squid if you put me anywhere but Gryffindor," she warned. The hat seemed to laugh. “I am not leaving my brother.”   
  
"Proof that you would do well in Slytherin… but you're right… your destiny is always in the House of Gryffindor…"   
  
It fell silent for a long moment and Alexia held her breath.   
  
"Gryffindor!" It yelled. She breathed a sigh of relief as it was removed from her head. She shot James a grin and carefully replaced her shields on the way to the Gryffindor table – to her home. She was met with grins and she sat next to Sirius, grabbing his hand for support. It was a gesture that still surprised the boy, even after the train ride, but he squeezed comfortingly as James went up to be sorted. He was quickly and easily sorted into Gryffindor and bounced over to his friends and sister. He plopped himself down on the other side of her and smiled across the table at Peter and Remus, who were talking quietly about something he couldn't hear. He glanced down the table and gasped when his eyes fell upon two matching heads of red hair.   
  
"Fabian and Gideon Prewett," he hissed in Alexia’s ear. She gasped quietly as well and her head shot up to scan the table. She found them just as easily – it wasn't hard as there were only a few people between them – but remained silent until the sorting was finished. The young pair of twins didn't even need to say anything after Dumbledore's speech, because the redhead twins had relocated themselves around the black-haired twins, gently shoving a disgruntled Sirius aside.   
  
"We heard,"   
  
"There's a new pair of twins around."   
  
Alexia responded happily, teasing them. "The best twins Gryffindor has seen in a long time, too."   
  
"Excuse us!" The twins gasped in mock horror.   
  
"I'm Gideon," one said after a long moment of an amusing stare down.   
  
"And I'm Fabian," the other told them.   
  
"We're in third year," they said together. 

"I wonder," Alexia said with a very Slytherin glint in her eye. "Would you teach us and our friends your ways of pranking?"  
  
"We would be honored,"   
  
"Thrilled,"   
  
"Pleased to teach you and your young friends."   
  
"Wonderful," Alexia said, winking at them. The redheaded twins shared a look as she turned back to her meal and engaged Sirius in conversation, twisting around Fabian to see him. They had an odd feeling that they'd just sealed their fates, and couldn't seem to understand why.   
  


* * *

  
Alexia wanted nothing more than to run through the secret passages she'd nagged Harry for using and find her way to the dorms before anyone else had gotten there, but there was the pesky little question of how she knew such passages. With a resigned sigh, she linked arms with James and Sirius and followed the Gryffindor prefects through the halls. Every once in a while, when she got upset, Remus would move closer and put a hand on her shoulder in support. She made a mental note to begin her Occlumency once more. She couldn't let him always know how she was feeling.   
  
It took about ten agonizing minutes to reach Gryffindor Tower, a place that had been untouched by war. She felt herself relax in the familiar walls and zoned out as they were pointed to their dorms and told them what curfew was. When the bored looking prefect left to find their own friends, Alexia dropped herself onto a couch and pulled James after her. He resumed the position she'd been in with Sirius and Remus, taking up Sirius's spot. Remus sat at the end of the couch and let her rest her feet in his lap. Sirius and Peter sat on the floor facing the couch curiously.   
  
"What?" Alexia asked, not opening her eyes.   
  
"We were just… I dunno," Sirius said. Alexia snorted.   
  
"Very articulate, Sirius."   
  
"What he means," Remus laughed. "is that we're… worried."   
  
"Why?" she frowned. "As you said earlier, we've only just met."   
  
"Maybe," Peter shrugged. "But we're friends, and that's an important thing."   
  
"Yeah, and we wanna know if there's something wrong so we can help." Sirius seemed very uncomfortable, but she deeply appreciated the sentiment.   
  
"Look," Alexia said, rubbing her head gently, "I'm fine. Just… I don't know."   
  
"That was helpful," Sirius snorted. She glared at him and he shut up.   
  
"What I mean is that there are things that I'm not yet comfortable telling you." She looked directly at Remus before staring at Sirius with the same intensity. "Surely you can understand that."   
  
"Of course," Peter supplied. She turned to him with an odd expression. She seemed to be sizing him up, because after a minute, she gave a pleased nod.   
  
"Thanks, Pete," she said gently. He beamed under the appreciation and nodded sweetly.   
  
"Are you Alexia Potter?" A blonde-haired girl asked, approaching the group nervously. Alexia raised an eyebrow but didn't respond. "Well, it's just that she's the last girl in our dorm, and we're having a little meeting to get to know one another."   
  
"That sounds lovely," Alexia said, sitting up. Remus ducked to avoid being accidentally kicked, and Sirius snorted at the sight. She turned back to them with a frown. "Behave."   
  
"Lex, come find me if you need?" James murmured nervously. Alexia flashed him a loving smile and promised, and he let her go. She disappeared up the steps to the girl's dorms moments later. James breathed out a nervous sigh and pushed himself against the couch.   
  
"Today has been odd," Sirius commented happily. James followed his sister's example and raised an eyebrow at his new friend. "Well, I met the first cousins I haven't hated… aside from Dromeda and Cissa-,"   
  
"Andromeda and Narcissa?" James asked with a frown. He'd been forced to learn the family history just as any other pureblood would've been. Sirius nodded and continued.   
  
"And made two other friends, and then got sorted into Gryffindor. Mum's going to have a harpy."   
  
"Today's been great," Peter shrugged. "I made friends and was sorted into the house of the brave."   
  
The two looked at Remus and James and the boys shared a look and shrugged. "It was alright," Remus said.   
  
"It was brilliant," James allowed. The boys all agreed and Sirius and Peter stood to head to their dorm. James stood as well, but Remus stopped him, requesting to talk alone. With a sinking feeling, James stayed behind.   
  
"It's about Alex," Remus said. He watched as James tensed and closed off his emotions and hurried to assure him. "Look, I think she's brilliant. I just…" he frowned, trying to figure out how to explain without giving away his secret. "I'm an empath."   
  
"Oh," James said, deflating.   
  
"Yeah."   
  
"So… you… she was…"   
  
"Terrified," the sandy-haired boy supplied. "Paranoid, afraid, and multiple emotions I've never even felt before."   
  
"That's why you kept trying to help her?" James asked. Remus nodded sadly.   
  
"I don't know what's happened to her, and I won't ask," the boy promised. "But I understand… I understand that kind of fear. I'll help however I can."   
  
"Thank you," James breathed. Remus offered a kind smile.   
  
"She's my first friend. I won't mess that up."   
  
James grinned widely. "You're hers now. You won't get away that easily."   
  
Remus paled. "What?"   
  
James laughed loudly, wrapping an arm around the other boy's shoulders. "She'll take good care of you if you need it, don't worry. But you're stuck now. You're family."   
  


* * *

**September 2nd, 1971**   
  
It had been a shock to meet Lily Evans. She'd been everything she'd expected – smart, kind, passionate, fiery, caring – but she'd also been more. She was ridiculously funny in her own way, and she was quick. Lexi knew immediately why she'd apparently refused James's advances for so long – she was better than her dear twin brother.   
  
Alexia had woken with her first nightmare in weeks at four in the morning. She sighed in defeat and pulled the covers away, setting her feet on the floor. She quickly showered and pulled on jeans and a sweater and then her robes for school. She slipped out of her dorm quietly and padded out of the common room. She wondered quietly where she was going and set to work on her Occlumency shields while she walked.   
  
It was a half-hour later when she found herself, anxious and jittery, pacing about the dungeons. She knew in theory that it was a bad idea, but she'd been too tempted by the dark, quiet area. She chewed on her lip as she paced around the large dungeons. It was about a five-minute walk from one end to the other and it was her third time around when she literally ran into someone. She went flying and, not expecting the impact, had fallen hard on her knees.   
  
She scrambled to pick herself up and pulled her wand, turning to face the person with an apology, but she felt her breath leave her when her eyes fell upon a head of platinum hair. The boy was looking at her warily but he offered her a hand and she took it, equally as cautious.   
  
"I'm sorry. I wasn't looking," she told him. He nodded at her.   
  
"It is fine," he assured her. "Aren't you a new lion? What are you doing down here?"   
  
"I- um- I was wandering about and got lost," she lied. He seemed to assume she was just nervous as he accepted it, offering his arm.   
  
"I can escort you to your common room if you would like," he said politely. She accepted, ignoring her mother's words. She took his arm and bit her lip hard as they walked together. After a few long minutes of silence, he spoke. "I am Lucius Malfoy."   
  
"I’m Alexia Potter. It's nice to meet you, Mister Malfoy," she said, recalling as much pureblood bullshit as she could. He flashed her a smile that surprised her. She'd never seen the man do much more than scowl before.   
  
"The pleasure is all mine. May I ask, how did you get lost like that? It is very early."   
  
"I woke early and decided to take a walk," she explained, not exactly lying. "I was lost in thought and found myself distracted enough to get lost."   
  
"Well," he said, looking down at her with a predatory air that made her only slightly uncomfortable. "then I suppose it is lucky I found you and not someone else."   
  
"Oh?"   
  
"Others in my House may not be as… kind as I have been."   
  
"I was very nearly sorted into Slytherin," she confessed with an evil grin. "I threatened to feed the Hat to the squid if it separated me from my brother."   
  
"Ah, so you are Slytherin at heart." Lucius laughed sweetly, and Alexia found herself appreciating the sound. She wondered if she could become friends with him and still keep her friends she'd already made.   
  
They arrived at Gryffindor Tower too soon, and Lucius bowed, kissing her knuckles. She smiled kindly and gave him a curtsy. "You may call me Lexi," she told him before sweeping into her common room to face the wrath of an angry and surprisingly awake twin.   
  


* * *

  
"What are you doing here?" Severus asked in surprise. Lucius twirled around and smiled at his young friend.   
  
"I found a wandering Lioness and brought her home," he informed the boy. Severus blinked up at him. Lucius was only one year ahead of him, but he was already tall and intimidating.   
  
"A wandering- who?"   
  
"Alexia Potter," Lucius replied calmly. Severus's eyebrows rose an amusing amount.   
  
"Really?"   
  
"Yes. She was rather intriguing."   
  
"Intriguing?" Severus asked in shock. Lucius generally found any Gryffindors annoying. He ignored them at best and hexed them at worst.   
  
"What are you doing here?" Lucius asked, echoing Severus's question. The younger boy shrugged and Lucius swore he saw a blush. "Do you have friends here?"   
  
"Two," Severus admitted. He trusted Lucius completely; they were friends. He could tell him.   
  
"Ah. Miss Potter is one, isn't she?" Lucius guessed. He knew he was right by the way Severus twitched at the question. "Well, she is in there. I believe I saw her brother, so I assume they are speaking about her wandering off alone."   
  
"I think I'll wait out here," Severus muttered. "He's an ass to me."   
  
"He seems rather protective of her if she's sneaking out in the early hours of the morning for a walk," Lucius commented idly. Severus shrugged and Lucius smiled at him before quietly making his way back to the dungeons.   
  


* * *

  
"Jamie, if you say one more word, I won't talk to you for a week," Alexia swore. James paused in his rant and looked at her. She sounded so serious that he wasn't sure she was bluffing. "Good. Look, I wasn't trying to worry you. I just woke up and went for a walk."   
  
"At four in the morning? Lex, you had a nightmare, didn't you?" He accused. He knew by the defensive look on her face that he was right, so he cut her off before she could yell at him again. "I thought we agreed you would come to me if you had one or needed me."   
  
"Look, I don't know. Mum and Dad wouldn't approve of me sneaking into your dorm every time I freak out," she muttered, shrugging slightly.   
  
"I know, but this is all new. Just for the first few weeks, okay? Then only if it's bad," he suggested. She looked at him for a long minute before nodding an agreement. "Thank you. Now stay here while I go get ready, okay?"   
  
"Yes, sir," she said, rolling her eyes at him and giving a mock salute. He stuck his tongue out at her as he turned and ran up the steps into his dorm. Alexia let out a deep breath and dropped herself on a couch, replaying what had happened.   
  
Was Lucius… nice? She wondered how he got mixed up with the Death Eaters and wondered if his father made him join, just like he would do to Draco. Lucius had seemed mostly genuine in his worry for her, so she believed that he didn't want to talk to her for any personal gain.   
  
Her thoughts were cut off by Lily making her way from the girls dorms. Alexia grinned at her and sat up to make room. Lily smiled gratefully and plopped down next to her. "You're awake early."   
  
"I'm a restless sleeper," Alexia told her. "I woke up and went for a walk."   
  
"Find anything interesting?"   
  
"Other than a wandering Slytherin and a scolding from Jamie?" She snorted. "No."   
  
"Why would he scold you for taking a walk?"   
  
"James labours under the delusion that I need protecting." Alexia scoffed at the idea. "So leaving in the early morning to take a walk when no one knows where I am is, to him, reckless and stupid."   
  
"Why would he think you need protecting? You seem like you can handle yourself," Lily told her with a kind smile. Alexia shrugged.   
  
"I imagine Dad told him to watch over me. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate their worry, but…"   
  
"I'd guess that could get a little overwhelming," Lily said quietly. Alexia nodded.   
  
"James and I built a fort in one of the guest rooms for when I got stressed or overwhelmed. We'd hide in it until I relaxed," she told her redheaded friend.   
  
"That sounds fun," Lily commented.   
  
"Lex, I'm ready if you wanna- oh," James stopped when he reached the couch, staring at Lily with his mouth open. Alexia hid a smirk as she watched her brother. "I, um, er-,"   
  
"Lily, this is my brother, James. Jamie, this is Lily. She's my friend."   
  
"Hello," Lily shot him a sweet smile, and Alexia coughed to cover her laugh as James's eyes widened.   
  
"H-hi," he stuttered out.   
  
"What were you saying, Jamie?" Alexia asked, and James turned to her, looking dazed.   
  
"Uh, if you wanted to go for another walk, um-,"   
  
"That sounds wonderful," Alexia said. "Lily, would you like to join us? There's this wonderful passage that could take us to the Great Hall."   
  
"Really?" James asked, eyes lighting up.   
  
"Oh, yes. Wanna see it?"   
  
"Yes!" Her brother exclaimed excitedly. Lily looked nervous but agreed, so the three headed to the portrait. They swung it open, and Alexia and Lily both grinned, seeing Severus waiting for them.   
  
"Severus!" Alexia said, hugging him. His eyes widened at the touch – a drastic change from Diagon Alley – and he patted her back awkwardly.   
  
"You know him?" Lily asked curiously. Alexia pulled away and nodded, ignoring the glare James was giving Severus.   
  
"We met in Diagon Alley," she explained.   
  
"No," James huffed. "He knocked you down. Why are you being nice to him?"   
  
"Because that wasn't him," Alexia said, already getting annoyed. "He was helping me up."   
  
"It was Mother," Severus said bitterly. Lily took his hand gently, offering silent support.   
  
"You let her knock a little girl down?" James glared.   
  
"Jamie, stop!" Alexia yelled, stepping between James and Severus. "It was an accident."   
  
"How come I don't believe that?"   
  
"Because you're an ass?" She offered. He huffed at her, turning on his heel and stalking back into the common room. Alexia let out a shaky breath when he was gone and leaned against the wall. She looked at her new friends and offered a sad smile. "Like I said… he's protective."   
  
"He's ridiculous," Lily decided. Alexia shrugged but said nothing.   
  
"Are you alright?" Severus asked quietly. "I ran into Lucius Malfoy and he said he walked you back here from the dungeons."   
  
"I thought you said you found a passage?" Lily asked with a frown. Alexia winced at being caught.   
  
"I never said when I found the passage," she told her friend before turning to Severus. "I'm fine. He was a perfect gentleman. I quite literally ran into him in the dungeons and he escorted me back to avoid meeting any unsavory characters."   
  
"That was… kind."   
  
"Yes," Alexia smiled, noting how he seemed just as surprised as she had been.   
  
"Do you wanna… go to the Great Hall?" Lily asked uncertainly. Alexia nodded with wide eyes.   
  
"There's no way I'm going back in there while Jamie has his head up his ass."   
  
"You should stop swearing," the redhead scolded. Alexia smirked. Lily sounded exactly like she used to.   
  
"Life is too short to care what sort of language you're using amongst friends… or really at all, for that matter."   
  
"You're an odd girl, Alexia Potter," Severus muttered, watching her curiously. She smirked at him.   
  
"So I've heard."   
  


* * *

  
"Where's your sister?" Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow. James scowled at him.   
  
"Off with a snake," he said. Sirius blinked at him.   
  
"I'm sorry, I thought I heard you say she was with the enemy."   
  
"Enemy?" Remus snorted. "Sirius, it's just a Slytherin."   
  
"Yes. The enemy."   
  
"You're dramatic," the boy sighed.   
  
"She walked off with a boy that pushed her down in Diagon Alley!" James exclaimed before frowning. "Er- or his mother did. But he let her."   
  
"Seriously?" Peter frowned. "Are you sure he let her?"   
  
"Well, it happened," James huffed.   
  
"And so you let her wander off with him?" Sirius frowned. "Didn't you just come stomping up here complaining that she took a walk at ungodly hours of the morning?"   
  
"Oh."   
  
"Shall we go find her?" Remus asked with a sigh. James nodded nervously and the other boys quickly finished getting their things together and poured out of the common room, racing down to the Great Hall. They made their way over to the Gryffindor table, where Alexia was sitting with Lily, talking excitedly about DADA.   
  
"Lex?" James said as he caught his breath. She ignored him and leaned closer to Lily, continuing to talk. Sirius bit his lip and slid between the siblings.   
  
"Hey, Lexi," he said softly. She turned and smiled at him.   
  
"Hey, Sirius. Have a good night?"   
  
"Could've been better. Some prat woke me up at five in the morning, yelling about some damsel in distress." Sirius winked at her. "I have a feeling she was neither a damsel nor in distress."   
  
"You're right about that," she huffed. "I'm sorry he woke you up."   
  
"It's alright, Kitten. You're okay?" He asked. She nodded honestly and he grinned at her. "Wonderful. Mind if we join you? I think your brother wants to apologize for being a prat."   
  
"I- oh," James blinked as Alexia turned to him expectantly and realized that Sirius was helping him. "Yeah, uh, sorry. I didn't mean to, uh-,"   
  
"Be an overprotective idiot?" His sister suggested. He scrunched up his nose but nodded.   
  
"Yeah, that."   
  
"You're forgiven," she said. He breathed out a sigh of relief and sat next to her as she returned to her conversation with Lily. He nodded at the toast on the table and she smiled back, so he grabbed some and began to fix her breakfast, ignoring the sniggering boys behind him.   
  
"She's got you wrapped around her finger, mate," Sirius laughed. James shrugged easily.   
  
"She's my sister," he offered. Sirius raised an eyebrow.   
  
"I don't dote on my brother like you dote on her."   
  
"Your brother isn't your twin, now is he?" James sniffed, beginning to feel slightly offended. "It's just how we are, okay?"   
  
"He didn't mean anything by it," Remus sighed. "It was a bad attempt at a joke."   
  
"It was a fine attempt!" Sirius denied.   
  
"Really?" Peter snorted. "Is that why you managed to offend him?"   
  
"Hey," two voices called, swooping down in front of James and Alexia. Alexia paused her conversation with Lily again and turned to the twins with a raised eyebrow.   
  
"We were thinking we could start our little lessons after classes today," one of them – Fabian, she thought – said.   
  
"That sounds great," she told them. They grinned happily and exchanged a few more words before walking off. Lily frowned at her new friend.   
  
"Lessons?"   
  
"Yeah," Alexia cleared her throat awkwardly. "Just some general instructions on… stuff."   
  
"Stuff," Lily repeated suspiciously.   
  
"Yep," Alexia grinned and took a bite of her toast, letting the subject drift off.   
  


* * *

  
The rest of the day had been quick. Alexia was generally bored in class, but she always found a way to distract herself. Eventually, she settled on simply backing up her Occlumency shields. She appreciated Dumbledore placing her with the Potters, but she didn't trust him. He'd done too much in the past – or future – to let her guard down.   
  
When classes let out, Alexia led her brother and the other Marauders through another secret passage from the dungeons all the way back to the Great Hall, where they met the Prewett twins. The brothers stared at them suspiciously.   
  
"Classes let out minutes ago," Fabian said.   
  
"How did you get here from the dungeons so quickly?" Gideon questioned.   
  
"Lexi knows lots of passageways," Sirius said, rocking on the balls of his feet. Alexia elbowed him in the gut and smiled at the twins as they frowned at her.   
  
"How?" They asked together. She raised an eyebrow and took a step closer so she was carefully not invading their personal space, but close enough to make them slightly uncomfortable.   
  
"You'll find that I may know things I shouldn't or can do things that don't make sense. You'll get used to it," she told them. 

"It's best not to question it," James laughed.   
  
"Anyway," the brothers drawled.   
  
"We were thinking-,"   
  
"You should start with a regular disillusionment charm."   
  
"Why?" Alexia asked. "It's easy enough to notice if you know what to look for."   
  
"It's good then," Gideon began.   
  
"That most people don't know what to look for," Fabian finished.   
  
"I do," the girl muttered with a frown. "So shouldn't they also learn how to notice them?"   
  
"They?" Gideon asked. "Aren't you participating?"   
  
"Oh, I already know disillusionment."   
  
"Wait, isn't that a N.E.W.T. spell?" Remus asked, frowning at her. She shrugged uncomfortably, remembering the year she never managed to take.   
  
"I guess so."   
  
"Huh," Fabian said, looking her over again.   
  
"Well, how do you two know it?" Alexia asked them. They shared a look and shrugged.   
  
"Our dad was an Auror. He taught us," Gideon explained. She nodded a little and they set to work quickly. It was a long lesson, mostly consisting of theory. The boys were amazed and had fun, and Alexia enjoyed helping them. The look on their faces when they watched her disappear was worth every minute of the very boring day.   
  


* * *

**September 10th, 1971**   
  
Alexia twisted in her bed, gasping for air as she woke from a particularly bad nightmare. She took a few agonizing moments to sort out reality – she swore she could still feel Bellatrix breathing in her face and carving into her skin. When she could see clearly, she stumbled out of bed and made her way out of the dorms and then out of the common room. She didn't care what James thought. She needed out of there.   
  
It was easy to slip past the prefects and wander around. She figured it was no later than two in the morning. Sucking in an agonizingly sharp breath, Alexia moved through the corridor where she found Lavender Brown being mauled by Greyback. She blanched as the horrifying sight flashed through her mind, fresh horror filling her. She stumbled away and walked numbly into the Great Hall.   
  
A general feeling of severe loss and depression filled her as her eyes fell upon the Hall. She glanced at the end, near the staff table, where the Weasley's had gathered over Percy’s body, weeping together. She tore her eyes away and instead stared at where she’d seen Colin Creevey lying motionless, his younger brother sobbing over his body. 

She couldn't take any more. She felt rather than heard the cry rip from her throat as she dropped to her knees. It was too much. _It was too much_.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all are really nice so I thought I'd post another chapter. I hope you enjoyed!


	4. Light is Fading

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just me realizing that "rich text" means I can italicize and bold and stuff. So my dumbass is about to go edit three chapters. In the meantime, here's this.

**Chapter 4**   
  
_How frustrating and so degrading, this time we’re wasting_

_As time will fly by and the sky will cry as light is fading_

**September 10th, 1971** _  
_   
James let out a surprised scream, interrupting Peter. He grabbed his head as devastation flooded him. He felt like he'd lost everyone he'd ever loved. He felt like he was alone. He bit his lip hard as his friends scurried next to him to check on him.   
  
"James?" Peter whispered, worry leaking through. Remus traded a look with the panicked boy and nodded shortly. Without a word, James scrambled to his feet and bolted from the room, leaving Remus to come up with an excuse.   
  
He made his way to the bottom of the girl's stairs and glared. They'd been at school for two weeks now, and he'd tried already to climb the steps. Alexia had just giggled at him and informed him that boys weren't trusted to be in the girl's dorms.   
  
So, James did what he knew best. He grabbed a book and chucked it up the stairs. The book hit the door hard. Nothing happened for a few minutes, so he threw another. After that, a tired and irritated Lily Evans opened the door and padded down the stairs, glaring at James. "What on earth are you doing?"   
  
"Is Lex up there? Something's wrong," he told her hurriedly. Lily blinked at him and went back up without a word. He waited anxiously for a long two minutes before she rushed down the stairs again, this time with slippers on as well.   
  
"She's not there," Lily said, pulling on her hair anxiously. "Her wand is gone and there's some sort of magic surrounding her bed, but I don't know what."   
  
"Great," James winced. "Great. I gotta go find her."   
  
"We should tell Professor McGonagall. If you think there's something wrong-,"   
  
"I don't think, I know. And we can't tell her. Lexi will just get more upset if there are too many people," he told the redhead, walking to the portrait. As he reached to open it, Lily grabbed his arm.   
  
"I'll come with. The castle is too big for you to go alone."   
  
"I don't know…"   
  
"James, please," Lily said, turning her beautiful green eyes on him. "She's my friend. Let me help you."   
  
"Alright," he said reluctantly. "But if you find her, find me right away and bring her to me."   
  
"Right," Lily agreed. They broke apart once they left the common room, and James disillusioned himself – he'd gotten the hang of the hard spell with Alexia's help. He flew through the halls, trying to hope that his sister would be okay.   
  


* * *

  
It was too much. She saw a flash of Remus in her mind and thought back to the night Dumbledore died when they worked together to collect the students and deposit them in their common rooms.   
  
_Her hands were shaking as she closed the portrait, sealing the Gryffindors away. She cast a few spells to protect them and one that would alert her to it opening again, in case some Gryffindor, brave as the lot were, decided to go exploring._ _  
_ _  
_ _She made her way quickly from the hall. She knew the Order were scouring the grounds to look for lingering Death Eaters, but there would be none. They weren't stupid… usually. Hermione blinked back tears as she passed Kingsley, giving him a weak and unbelievable smile – not that he could blame her. They were all feeling about the same way._ _  
_ _  
_ _Hermione drew her wand to her head and placed a Notice-Me-Not on herself. She wasn't sure she could handle interacting with anyone. Harry had been taken for comfort by Ginny, and Ron was staying with Bill and Fluer to calm Molly in case she snapped at her son's fiancé._ _  
_ _  
_ _She made her way aimlessly through the castle. There were people everywhere, and it was making it very hard to find somewhere to be alone. Biting her lip, she came across the doors to the Astronomy Tower. She didn't know how she got there, but it seemed perfect. No one was around. Taking a deep breath, she slipped through the doors and up the steps._ _  
_ _  
_ _If she hadn't known better, she wouldn't have believed that someone had died there. The Tower was as peaceful and calming as she'd always found it to be. She loved looking at the stars and finding Constellations was one of her favorite pastimes. Her father had spent countless nights in the summers and on weekends pointing them out to her, telling her their names and stories. She was fascinated with them._ _  
_ _  
_ _Hermione felt bad for not feeling upset up there. She should've been upset with the place. Dumbledore had been killed there. But really, she couldn't be upset. Even if her old Headmaster was gone, the Death Eaters had left as well. Even the Dark Mark had disappeared from sight. The only thing that she saw was the steadiness of the Constellations and the wonderful tools to study said Constellations._ _  
_ _  
_ _"Hermione?" She jumped and turned as someone called her. She relaxed upon seeing Remus standing behind her. He looked tired and sad, and there was a cut on his shoulder. Her eyes widened at the sight._ _  
_ _  
_ _"You're hurt!" She exclaimed, moving closer._ _  
_ _  
_ _"I am?" He asked in shock. She nodded and pulled her wand._ _  
_ _  
_ _"May I?" She asked with a raised eyebrow. She saw something flash in his eyes but he nodded._ _  
_ _  
_ _"Please." She waved her wand over his shoulder fluidly, muttering quietly to heal him. She watched in satisfaction as the deep wound closed and siphoned away the remaining blood. "I didn't think anyone would be up here," he told her quietly. She raised her head to look at his kind, sad eyes._ _  
_ _  
_ _"Neither did I," she whispered. "But it doesn't feel…"_ _  
_ _  
_ _"It doesn't feel different," he said, looking away and up at the stars. She nodded quietly and followed his gaze._ _  
_ _  
_ _"Canis Major," she breathed, staring at the Constellation. "It was always my favorite when I was a little girl."_ _  
_ _  
_ _"He really was the brightest of them all," Remus told her quietly. "Of all his family of stars and constellations, Sirius was the brightest."_ _  
_ _  
_ _"I wish I had known him better," Hermione told him. The werewolf watched her with broken eyes._ _  
_ _  
_ _"He cared for you," Remus told her softly, glancing over. "You were… another star to him, just like Harry or myself."_ _  
_ _  
_ _"I- I was?" She asked. Remus nodded._ _  
_ _  
_ _"He saw something in you that reminded him of an old friend," Remus said slowly. "You remind me of her as well."_ _  
_ _  
_ _"What was her name?" Hermione wondered. Remus blinked and looked up again, sighing._ _  
_ _  
_ _"You wouldn't know her. Not many do anymore."_ _  
_ _  
_ _"Oh."_ _  
_ _  
_ _"She was fierce," he started, obviously choosing his words carefully. Hermione figured she was probably dead, so it was likely hard for him to talk about. "She was kind and extremely loyal. She was a wonderful judge of character, even if we always second guessed it. She was a lot like Harry's father, actually. They were… very close."_ _  
_ _  
_ _"Oh," Hermione said again, this time in surprise._ _  
_ _  
_ _"She always took care of me," Remus continued with a small smile. "After the full moon, she would spend hours in the infirmary with me. She figured out that I was a werewolf in our first year."_ _  
_ _  
_ _"She knew?" Hermione asked in shock. From what she'd heard, Remus had told very few people. She was beginning to wonder just how close this girl was to the Marauders._ _  
_ _  
_ _"Yes, she did. But she kept my secret for me. She was… she was brilliant," Remus cleared his throat. "You truly are a lot like her, Hermione."_ _  
_ _  
_ _"I don't know…" the girl sighed and changed the subject. "You saved my life tonight."_ _  
_ _  
_ _"I did?" He blinked at her in surprise._ _  
_ _  
_ _"Yes. Someone shot some curse at me and… well, you shoved me out of the way. It only just nicked my side. Madam Pomfrey said I'd have died if it hit me straight on."_ _  
_ _  
_ _"I didn't even realize," he said somewhat awkwardly. She smiled sweetly at him and stepped over, hugging him, much to his surprise._ _  
_ _  
_ _"I just wanted to say thank you."_ _  
_ _  
_ _"There's no need," he replied softly. "I'm just glad you're okay."_ _  
_

* * *

  
Lily slapped a hand over her mouth to avoid squealing and jumped to the side to hide in an alcove as a Ravenclaw prefect passed by. She'd completely forgotten about the older students patrolling the halls. She slipped away before she could be caught and quickly made her way through the corridor. It was a long, empty hall, and she needed to get through it to find more classrooms. She winced as she thought about passageways. Alexia seemed to have a decent knowledge of them, and she didn't.   
  
All she could do was hope that her friend was somewhere safe and somewhere they could find as she made her way into a new classroom.   
  


* * *

  
It was too much. Alexia groaned in pain as she glanced down at the scar on her stomach that she got during the Department of Mysteries battle.   
  
_Hermione groaned in pain as Dolohov tightened his grip on her. Her hand was crushed awkwardly against the openly bleeding wound on her stomach and she felt him laugh. The sound was disgusting, and she wished she couldn't hear it._ _  
_ _  
_ _The battle had wound down. The Order was regrouping and trying to find all of the kids. Hermione had spent very little time wondering why they hadn't noticed her. She'd felt the strong compulsion magic mixed with disillusionment and a notice-me-not. On top of that, she couldn't seem to make any noise. She was truly terrified._ _  
_ _  
_ _It was only as Dolohov began to move that she noticed there was still one pair dueling. Bellatrix and Sirius were trading curses faster than anyone she'd ever seen before. She had heard tales of Bellatrix's terror, but she had never known how good Sirius was. He was a fair match for her, if not better. Dolohov seemed to notice them as well, because she felt him still, his curiosity getting the better of him, though he was still holding her tight enough that it hurt._ _  
_ _  
_ _The Order and Death Eaters alike stayed back from the pair. No one could guarantee they wouldn't be hit by a wayward curse. The duel was going well for Sirius. He was gaining speed and Bellatrix seemed to be tiring; her spells were beginning to slow. When the witch cast a curse that definitely would've hit Sirius, Harry threw up a shield to protect his godfather. The man shot a quick glance at the boy and grinned._ _  
_ _  
_ _"Nice one, James!" He called. Harry's smile froze, but Sirius didn't seem to catch his own mistake. He turned back to Bellatrix, but she'd already thrown another spell. His smile faded as he realized he'd been hit. Hermione tried to jerk herself away from Dolohov, but his grip tightened even more, and she gasped at the pain. Sirius stumbled back a little, and Harry looked up at the man in wonder, no doubt questioning why he'd not attacked back._ _  
_ _  
_ _When Remus saw what was happening, he ran at Harry, grabbing him firmly. The boy looked back at him before turning to see Sirius falling back into the Veil. It was a long moment before Harry understood and let out a scream of anguish. No one, however, heard Hermione's matching scream._ _  
_ _  
_ _It wasn't until someone literally ran into the hidden teenager and Death Eater that they were found out. Dolohov released her and ran for it, escaping and leaving behind a shaken and shocked Hermione._ _  
_

* * *

  
James decided, against his better judgment, to search the dungeons first. He was breathing heavily as the surges of agonizing emotional pain swept through him. He wondered again what horrible thing Alexia had gone through to feel such pain, but he would never ask. If she felt like telling him, she would.   
  
He ran through the dungeons, checking everything but the Slytherin common rooms before leaving. He shook himself as he sped through the castle to check the courtyards. There was a lot to check, but he would turn the place upside down to find his precious sister. She needed him.   
  


* * *

  
It was too much. She thought back to the time she had gone with Harry to Godric's Hollow. She knew it was a bad idea, but there was also a definite chance of a Horcrux being there.   
  
It was like walking through her own memory. She briefly wondered if she had entered a pensieve, but she quickly realized she hadn't. She glanced around and found herself walking through the snow toward the graveyard. Her breath hitched as she hurried to the grave that Harry was sitting at.   
  
James Charlus Potter   
  
Lily Elizabeth Potter   
  
"The last enemy that shall be destroyed is Death."   
  
"Who the hell decided that fit them?" She muttered bitterly.   
  
"Dumbledore," a voice said. Alexia jumped and looked around to spot the voice. It was a beautiful woman dressed in a silky blue and black dress that flowed to the snow but never quite touched it. She had long, golden hair that reached to the bottom of her back. Her eyes shifted constantly, and Alexia couldn't spot a color; she only saw emotions. Sadness, anger, denial, frustration, and they finally settled on hopelessness.   
  
"Who are you?" She whispered.   
  
"I am Achlys," the woman told her, gliding closer. Alexia blinked and thought hard. The name sounded familiar, and it sounded Greek.   
  
"Oh," she gasped, eyes widening. "You're the goddess of sadness and despair."   
  
"Yes," Achlys whispered.   
  
"Why… I mean, no offense, but why are you here?" She asked bluntly. The goddess's lips twitched slightly, but she didn't smile.   
  
"Because you are lost in me, little one," the goddess told her. "I offer a little of myself to you, and you clung on like a child to a mother. You seem to think that, without me, you cannot face the new world."   
  
"I didn't- I'm not-," Alexia broke off with a frustrated sigh. The hopelessness, the sadness, and depression were clinging to her, not the other way around.   
  
"A man once was stuck in a lake. He did not know how to swim. There were dangers in these waters, all longing to eat him. He prayed to the gods for a way to live. A man in a canoe went by and asked if he wished for help. The man told him, 'no, the gods will save me,' and the canoe man left, but a knife fell from his boat. The man ignored the knife, even though the creatures wanted to eat him because he insisted that the gods would save him. Even a helicopter flew by, and they threw down a rope to him. He declined, stating that the gods would save him. And so, denying all the opportunities to live, he was pulled under the water and eaten, though he drowned first."   
  
"I- I’m not sure I understand what you're saying," Alexia told her with a frown.   
  
"The man had been sent help by the gods," Achlys explained. "They tried to save him, but he refused their help because he refused to acknowledge he had been given help."   
  
"So you're saying… I've been sent help?"   
  
"Yes," the goddess agreed. "James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Lily Evans, Severus Snape, and more. They are your tools. Use them and find yourself happy once more."   
  
"O-okay," Alexia told her, blinking. "I will."   
  
"You have had a hard life," Achlys stated. "You have impressed many of my friends. You will be rewarded for your actions."   
  
"I-,"   
  
"Now go," the goddess commanded. And with that, Alexia felt herself being pushed from the graveyard.   
  


* * *

  
Lily reached the Great Hall and bent over to catch her breath. She hated running. When she was breathing easier, she stood up straight again and entered the large hall. It was dark, but she could easily hear someone breathing heavily with little gasps of crying interrupting every now and then. Her heart ached at the hopeless sound. She was about to move toward the sound when James Potter came barreling at her.   
  
"Have you found- oh," he gasped, noticing the noise. He sped away from her, leaving her to light a quiet "Lumos" and follow. When he reached the Gryffindor table, his heart broke at the sight of Alexia sobbing brokenly on the floor. He fell to his knees next to her and gathered her into his lap. "Lex? Lexi, c'mon love, I'm here."   
  
She didn't reply, and when Lily made it to them and shone the light down, he saw that her eyes were tightly shut. He rubbed her arm gently and looked up at Lily nervously. The redhead didn't say anything but instead knelt down as well, grabbing Alexia's hand.   
  
"We're here," Lily told her quietly. "Please wake up. Let us help you."   
  
At those four words, Alexia shifted slightly in James's lap. He rubbed her arm sweetly as her eyes fluttered open and a soft sob broke from her lips. "Jamie."   
  
"It's okay, Lex. You're okay," he promised her. She nodded shakily and jumped a little when Lily squeezed her hand to alert her of her presence. She blinked at her friend.   
  
"Lily," she whispered. "I-,"   
  
"Lex, what happened?" James interrupted. She looked at him hesitantly, glancing between him and Lily. She bit her lip. She wanted so badly to tell the both of them, but it would make even less sense to Lily than it did to James. They were supposed to be twins. But maybe it would be okay to tell Lily the truth. She trusted the girl.   
  
"Can we go somewhere? I know a place we can talk in private," she told them shakily. James and Lily shared a confused look.   
  
"But we are in private," James said.   
  
"Not private enough," she replied. "Humor me, Jamie."   
  
"Fine," James sighed. Lily shrugged helplessly. It was almost two in the morning. A while longer out wouldn't hurt.   
  
They made their way to the seventh floor. It was a slow walk, but Alexia showed them multiple passageways, and they got to the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy within ten minutes. Alexia paced in front of the wall three times, asking for a comfy and private place to talk. James was about to question her sanity when the door opened and she walked in, waving them after her. They just blinked for a long minute, so she rolled her eyes and pulled them both in.   
  
The room was a large library with couches and chairs that were equipped with pillows and blankets. She plopped herself on the nearest couch and sighed as James set next to her, letting her drop her head on his lap. Lily sat in the chair next to them, and Alexia bit her lip. Before she could talk herself out of it, she spoke.   
  
"Jamie and I aren't blood twins," she said. She felt James still under her and saw as Lily's eyes widened.   
  
"Alexia!" James shrieked in a manner that Alexia normally would've found funny, had he not just used her full name.   
  
"You're… I don't understand," Lily frowned. "You act like siblings and look like it, and no one's questioned it."   
  
"Jamie and mum and dad are blood traitors," Alexia told the girl. She felt James take deep breaths, attempting to calm himself. "Most people refuse to associate with them. Jamie went to a muggle school and mum and dad taught him the rest at home."   
  
"How do you know that?" James asked quietly. She shrugged.   
  
"Mum told me about a month ago when I got curious."   
  
"So… wait, then why do you two look so much alike?" Lily questioned. Alexia smirked slightly.   
  
"Magic," the twins said together. James seemed to be repeating her answer from when he asked the same question, and Alexia laughed quietly.   
  
"Helpful," Lily said with a roll of her eyes. "So why are you two so… twinish?"   
  
"I'm not sure about that," Alexia said with a shrug. "I was going to ask Mum when I wrote her. The thing is, when the four of us stood in the room together for the first time, it felt like something had clicked inside. I was going to research bonds-,"   
  
"You don't know?" James asked in surprise. She knew everything.   
  
"Know what?" Alexia frowned.   
  
"Dumbledore had mum and dad adopt you, so you're officially a Potter by magic. You're bonded to the family. It's probably why we have the connections twins have because that's what we claim to be and act like."   
  
"Oh."   
  
"So… why do you pretend to be twins? Why not just tell everyone you're adopted?" Lily asked curiously.   
  
"Yeah, I've wondered that as well," James added. Alexia bit her lip, not sure how to answer them.   
  
"With the… situation I was in, Dumbledore thought it best to place me with the Potters and not allow society to question me. Being adopted would raise questions," she told them slowly.   
  
"And what situation made him do that?" Lily asked, chewing on her lip. She assumed it had to be bad for the headmaster to get involved in such a way.   
  
"Lily, I have… well, you're a muggleborn. I've got nightmares and PTSD," Alexia admitted. "I went through some really bad things. I lost… I lost a lot. I lost friends and family and had to learn to defend myself. My best friend almost died and…," she paused to take a deep breath. James stroked her hair to calm her, and it was working. "A lot of people died. I grew up too soon."   
  
"You're eleven!" Lily stated in horror. "How could you have gone through all of that?"   
  
"It was like war," Alexia shrugged helplessly. "War is unforgiving."   
  
"I'm so sorry, Lex," James whispered, staring at her in a mixture of horror and admiration.   
  
"'S'okay. I'm alive. It's just… well, the reason I react badly to being here is that a lot of this happened at my old school, which was a castle a lot like this one," she lied. "It was a war between my town and the one next to us. The final battle took place at the school because everyone had gathered there for protection."   
  
"How have we never heard of this?" James asked quietly. Lily nodded, wondering the same thing.   
  
"It was a small town and covered up pretty well," Alexia shrugged, lying easily once more.   
  
"If you have a nightmare," Lily said quietly. "You could always sleep with me. Sleeping with my sister used to make the nightmares go away if I had them."   
  
"Really?" Alexia asked with wide eyes. James looked hopeful as well since it seemed like his sister didn't want to sneak into his dorm and wake him.   
  
"Of course," Lily smiled. "I've always wanted another sister."   
  
"I've never had one before," Alexia told them. "Well… there was a girl named Ginny, but she's… gone."   
  
"Well, I'm here," Lily said before grinning evilly. "And James is kinda girlish, too."   
  
"Hey!" James exclaimed, pouting. "I am not!"   
  
"She's right, Jamie," Alexia laughed. "You do have a pretty face."   
  
"Shut it," James sniffed. Alexia smiled sweetly at him and kissed his cheek.   
  
"We should get back to the common room," Lily said after a few minutes of silence, chewing on her lip. Alexia raised an eyebrow at her friend.   
  
"We could always stay here for the night," she suggested. "It's late, and I don't know if we could make it back without getting caught."   
  
"It's a wonder we didn't get caught looking for you," the redhead sighed.   
  
"This castle is so big, and you know so much of it. It was nearly impossible to find you," James complained. "I wish there was some sort of map."   
  
Alexia grinned brightly, an odd glint in her eyes. "Interesting," she mumbled quietly.   
  
"You sure we could sleep in here?" Lily asked nervously. Alexia shrugged.   
  
"No one will find us in here, and… well, I guess I would really rather be somewhere quieter and more private," Alexia told them. Lily and James both nodded easily, and she wandlessly waved her hand, a blanket floating over to her and James and then another to Lily. She cuddled up to her brother and closed her eyes, quietly casting a Tempus alarm to wake them for breakfast and completely missing the shocked looks James and Lily stared at her easy use of very advanced magic. She relaxed and felt herself quickly drifting off to sleep, comforted by the solid presences next to her.   
  


* * *


	5. Wish You Were Sleeping

**Chapter 5** **  
**  
_If you decide to live by, what you think's wrong and what's right_ _  
_ _  
_ _Believe me, you'll begin to wish you were sleeping_ _  
_   
**September 17th, 1971**

"You have got to shut up," Remus hissed. Alexia snorted at the offended look on Sirius's face and poked his back hard.  
  
"He's right. We're trying to prove something here, and he won't take it seriously if we don't," Alexia told them calmly. James sighed and quieted down, and Sirius slid in place next to Alexia.   
  
"How do you know?" He asked curiously.   
  
"Rumors, of course," she scoffed. "Besides, he hit you with a water balloon yesterday. It says something about his character."   
  
"Bloody lucky shot," Sirius pouted. She rolled her eyes and took his hand as they reached the Great Hall where their devious target was switching the salt on the tables with Max's Magical Itching Powder. Not as strong as Fred and George's, Alexia thought, but enough to annoy anyone.   
  
"What do I have here?" Peeves grinned, floating over. Alexia grimaced slightly as she remembered the poltergeist pouring deadly mixtures of potions on Death Eaters in the Final Battle. It was a rather gruesome way to die, but she figured they'd deserved it. "Newsies to play with!"   
  
"No," Alexia stated firmly. Peeves paused, looking at her. His gaze unnerved her as he flew down to meet her. Her friends, brother included, all took a small step back from her. Bloody cowards.   
  
"We've met," he stated simply. She tried to keep from wincing. She’d heard rumors about him and his odd time senses but had assumed none of it was true. He was just a poltergeist after all. "But… when?"   
  
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," she muttered tiredly. Remus frowned, his wonderful werewolf hearing allowing him to pick up what was obviously not meant to be heard. "But we come with a proposition."   
  
"Really?" The poltergeist cackled, eyeing the odd group mischievously. Sirius was looking at him with the same exact look, and it made Alexia grin slightly. She really could imagine him being the next Peeves. She pushed away the pang of sadness – which did not go unnoticed by James or Remus – and nodded.   
  
"A peace treaty and mutual agreement of trust and help," Peter said with a smirk.   
  
"Oh?" The poltergeist looked between them all and narrowed his eyes. "And why would I do this?"   
  
"Because," James spoke up. "We will be your minions for a day – as long as we won't get expelled or suspended or anything – and then we will help each other when we need it… which includes, for us, not telling a teacher if you find us out at night."   
  
"Hm," Peeves settled before Alexia once again and nodded, obviously deeming her the leader of the little group. "I'll agree."   
  
"Wonderful," Alexia said, her evil grin reminiscent of her mother's.   
  
"Tomorrow will be fun indeed," the not-quite-ghost cackled. "Shall we plan?"   
  
"We shall."   
  


* * *

  
In the end, the five of them got a hefty amount of detentions and a decent amount of points docked from Gryffindor, but they decided it was more than worth it. They'd brought the statues to life, thanks to Alexia, and scared random students and even teachers. They'd put an impressive sticking charm to multiple things in the school, the tables in the Great Hall and a great deal of doorknobs being a couple of those things. They set up time-sensitive balloons filled with a mixture of water, flour, itching powder, and food dye. They set off at random intervals in very random places – Peeves had placed them perfectly while the kids had done the spell work.   
  
The five of them got hit with a number of their own pranks, but they laughed it off easily. It was a lot of fun for them, and it eased some of the stress of a new school year for many students. Alexia grinned as she remembered the statues scaring McGonagall.   
  
Minerva was hurrying down the hall with Albus in tow as she heard yet another surprised yelp from down the hall. The castle was in chaos, and the teachers were split between horror and frustration and being extremely amused and entertained. Minerva, however, was just generally annoyed.   
  
She had already had a number of students get stuck to her door and desks, and the most infuriating part of it was that the sticking charms somehow came back when they were removed. She would remove one student, and then ten seconds later, another would be stuck.   
  
She huffed as she sped through the little hall with the Headmaster, who was enjoying this a little too much. She turned toward a door and went to open it, but was stopped by a cold hand on her arm. She screamed in the most Un-Minerva manner and felt her hand fly to her mouth in shock. She felt Albus behind her, obviously attempting to hide his soft laughter. What was worse, however, was the unabashed giggling coming from the next hall over, disappearing slowly as whatever students witnessed her unfortunate moment slipped away.   
  
All in all, it was extremely enjoyable, and even more so when they remembered they had the loyalty of the impossible to tame Peeves. Alexia trudged into her first detention willingly and stopped short at the sight of Malfoy sitting in the room as well. Before she could talk, Slughorn popped into the room with a grin on his face. He'd obviously been one of the teachers to enjoy their pranks, which didn’t surprise her in the least. As selfish as the man was, he’d also been a great teacher and, she’d found out, had a wonderful sense of humor.   
  
"Ah, Miss Potter! Now, just remove any charms set on this room and then do any homework you have. I'll be in my office," he told her and swept out of the room again without waiting for an answer. The girl snorted indelicately at her "punishment."   
  
"That was amazing charm work," Malfoy told her after a few minutes as she set to work. She smirked at him, eyes shining with pride.   
  
"It had to be perfect or it wouldn't work," she told him as she waved her wand delicately at a desk. It was a simple sticking charm mixed with one of her own creation, thus making it impossible to remove without her doing it herself.   
  
"It was impressive nonetheless, especially for a first year," he told her. She paused to look at him, and her hard gaze was enough to make even Lucius Malfoy uncomfortable, something that made him even more curious about her.   
  
"I'll admit that it was probably… unexpected, especially from someone so young," she allowed, shrugging. "But it had a wonderful outcome, don't you think? To me, that far outshines whatever I did."   
  
"Chaos was the outcome," he told her as if she didn't already know. He didn’t truly seem to be judging her. He looked more curious than anything, and she couldn’t help but wonder why he was bothering with a first year Gryffindor student at all. "You think chaos wonderful?"   
  
She thought for a long moment, actually considering his question. She answered carefully, picking her words with precision. "I think controlled chaos can be just what some people need. It is the beginning of term, and it did help some people relax and laugh."   
  
"And others were scared out of their wits, stuck in place for hours, and drenched in an awful substance," he countered lightly. She grinned at him, and he found it was a sweet sight.   
  
"Yes, but chaos is nothing without victims. Besides, I would not have ever done anything to truly harm anyone," she promised. She was so sincere and, for the first time since they'd been talking, she made direct eye contact. He was surprised because she'd not done that yet. She seemed to be offering to let him see if she was lying, but he couldn't figure out why she cared so much, so he decided to believe her.   
  
"I think you'll be interesting for all of us," he replied softly, a small smirk gracing his lips. She shrugged lightly, but her eyes suddenly looked haunted in the sort of way he'd only ever seen from his grandfather, who had fought against Grindlewald. The look made him shiver.   
  
"So, why are you here?" She asked suddenly. He raised an eyebrow in confusion and she waved at his homework. "Just studying or did you get detention?"   
  
"Oh," he laughed. It was completely ridiculous. "Detention."   
  
"How?" She asked. He thought she sounded shocked, but he couldn't be sure. He watched her wave her wand for a moment before placing a hand on the desk to check it. When the hand came up with no problems, she moved onto the next one.   
  
"It's ridiculous," he said with a roll of his eyes. "A first year student got into a fight with his brother and they spent the night arguing. I did his homework for him – it was easy and I enjoy writing those essays in potions. I got caught."   
  
"Really?" She sounded even more surprised now, and he bit his lip to hold back a retort. "Potions seems great. I just can't seem to get the hang of it."   
  
"I heard Severus Snape was going to help you," Lucius said with a raised eyebrow. She shrugged lightly.   
  
"Yeah, but he's also got his own homework, and we can't seem to make our schedules fit… plus, my brother is an idiot."   
  
"I fail to see how he has anything to do with this," Lucius lied. He knew James disliked Snape quite a bit and found it ridiculous. From the scowl on Alexia's face, she seemed to as well.   
  
"He doesn't like Sev because Mrs. Snape yelled some insults at me and knocked me down in Diagon Alley and Sev couldn't stop her," she explained, and Lucius frowned. Sure, people could be pureblood bigots – and Eileen Snape was being a hypocrite, marrying a muggle – but it was just bad form to shove a little girl in public.   
  
"Are you alright?" He found himself asking. She laughed, smiling kindly at him, and he saw genuine gratitude in her eyes.   
  
"It's been a couple of months since it happened, so I'd say I'll live," she said cheekily. He laughed and nodded, accepting that it was a stupid question.   
  
"I can help you as well if you like," he offered. She looked up at him in surprise, her wand pausing once more over the desk in front of him that she was working on. She was standing almost next to him now, and he noticed the defensive pose she must've been holding since before she'd walked in. It was an oddly advanced pose, one only duelers and Aurors tended to use.   
  
"Help with what? This charm won't come off for anyone but me," she told him. He felt his curiosity peak. He had been wondering why the teachers didn't just remove it, but he decided not to ask.   
  
"I mean with Potions," Lucius corrected with his charming smile. She bit her lip hard and watched him, her gaze still making him want to squirm. He didn't, however, because he was a Malfoy and Malfoys did not squirm, especially around curious Gryffindor girls younger than him. "I find I enjoy your company, and I believe helping you study would be quite interesting."   
  
"That would be great!" She exclaimed, grinning at him again. She leaned against the desk as she began to relax but froze abruptly, gasping.   
  
"Alexia?" He asked, surprised by her sudden change in mood. She groaned in annoyance and tilted her head back to take a deep breath.   
  
"I think I just stuck myself to this desk," she pouted. Lucius felt himself bubble with laughter at the miserable look on her face and stood.   
  
"Why don't I help? You could teach me the counter for the charm," he suggested. Alexia eyed him nervously but nodded. She showed him the counter and they soon set to work, him first removing her from the desk and then helping her to finish removing the charm, which took quite a while. She had, apparently, placed it on quite a few things in the room. It was nearly one in the morning by the time they'd finished, and Slughorn sent them to their dorms. Lucius left his detention feeling much better than he had felt going in and smiled as he thought of teaching the brilliant witch something new.   
  
Lucius Malfoy was certainly excited, and that was extremely hard to do.   
  


* * *

**November 3rd, 1971**   
  
Remus was, more than anything, confused by Alexia. She was his first friend and he adored her for that, but she was so… odd. She was haunted by things that Remus couldn't figure out. He wanted nothing more than to understand so he could help her, but that seemed so unlikely. James was extremely protective of her, and he figured prying wouldn't get him anywhere good with her twin.   
  
James was another thing. He was wrapped around Alexia's finger, but even he didn't seem to know what was wrong with her. He was the only one who could truly calm her down, though Lily, Remus, and Sirius were beginning to help with that as well.   
  
Alexia was a very physical person. Remus had never been comfortable with physical touch because of his condition, but she never really cared about that. She pushed through his comfort zone and made him help her, and he was okay with that for the most part, as long as she didn't know about his condition.   
  
Which was why he was confused and terrified when he woke from sleep after the second full moon at Hogwarts and felt someone holding his hand. His eyes shot open at the touch and he was surprised to find Alexia sitting next to him reading a book and holding his hand. She looked at him and offered a kind smile.   
  
"How are you feeling, Remus? Last night seemed rough," she told him. His eyes widened at her words and he was about to respond when she continued. "I hope you don't mind, but I helped Madam Pomfrey heal a great deal of your wounds. I was just so worried that I couldn't not help."   
  
"Could- last night-," he looked at her in fear. "I'm sorry."   
  
"Remus, no," she said forcefully, sitting up so she was closer. He cringed at the little space between them. "I don't care about that. You're my friend and you won't hurt me, I know it."   
  
"Alex, I will-,"   
  
"No. You won't. As long as I don't come up to the Shrieking Shack during the full moon, I'm safe. I know a lot more about werewolves than you probably do. Did you know that my best friend back… before Hogwarts was partly raised by a werewolf?"   
  
"I- no."   
  
"Well, he was,” she lied. “The werewolf was extremely careful, and I'm still safe. I knew him for years."   
  
"But I'm not that werewolf," he insisted. She bit her lip to keep from laughing and squeezed his hand.   
  
"But you're a lot like him. Remus, I'm not going to leave you, love. You're my friend. Let me take care of you before and after the moon, please. I want to help."   
  
"I don't know, Alex. It's just… I'm not sure it's a good idea."   
  
"Of course it is," she said with a scoff. "You won't hurt me and if you're dangerous, I'll stay away."   
  
"Promise?"   
  
"I promise," she said softly.   
  
"And you won't… you won't tell the others?"   
  
"No," she rolled her eyes. "I would never share a secret that doesn't belong to me." _Again_ , she thought, regret ringing through her at the memory of the Shrieking Shack when she’d announced to her friends that Remus was a werewolf. She hadn’t missed the betrayal in his eyes.   
  
"Thank you," he whispered. She smiled and nodded.   
  
"You're family now, Remus. There's no need to thank me."   
  


* * *

**November 23rd, 1971**   
  
"I don't understand," Alexia hissed, frustrated. She'd passed potions in her first year with an O, but she had never truly understood it. Snape had been so hard on her, and she hadn't understood it to the depths she would've liked.   
  
"That's alright," Severus soothed. "Why don't we take a break?"   
  
"Fine," she sighed, rubbing her eyes. They'd been working for three hours, and she was reaching the end of her patience.   
  
"Lex!" James called, running into the library. Alexia winced at his volume and waited to respond until the oaf got to her.   
  
"What?"   
  
"Quidditch tryouts are starting soon," he told her as he reached them. He grabbed a lock of her hair absently as she glared up at him, the rest of her patience rapidly retreating. 

"You're a first year, Jamie, you can't try out."   
  
"Yeah, but it'll be fun to watch," he told her with a pout. She scowled at him.   
  
"I'm doing homework with Sev. I can't."   
  
"Ditch him," he suggested. The look on her face made him instantly regret it.   
  
"James Charlus Potter, you stop that right now!" She hissed at him. "Severus is my friend and you are being an ass. I've explained what happened multiple times, and you refuse to care! Now leave me alone. Take Sirius with you if you so badly want to watch."   
  
"Sorry," James mumbled. She ignored it because he was obviously only sorry for upsetting her and not for what he said.   
  
"Go." It was more of an order than anything, so he just sighed and left the library, leaving behind a now cranky Alexia.   
  


* * *

  
"What's got you so depressed?" Sirius asked, snorting at the sour look on James's face. His friend whirled around to glare at him.   
  
"Lexi's studying with the snake again," he sighed. Sirius followed his example as they reached the stands and sat to watch tryouts.   
  
"You idiots should let that go," a voice called. The boys spun to see Marlene McKinnon rolling her eyes at them, hands on hips. "Alex is getting really pissed at you both. He's her friend. Just leave them alone."   
  
"What's it to you, McKinnon?" Sirius called, frowning. She scoffed at him, and both boys felt moderately offended.   
  
"She's my friend. You annoy her, you annoy me," Marlene said as if it were glaringly obvious.   
  
"That makes no sense," James said. "It's got nothing to do with you."   
  
"If I told Sirius he was a dirty dark wizard would you be offended for him?" The girl asked.   
  
"Yes!" James declared, frowning heavily.   
  
"It's the same thing. Merlin, you boys are so stupid."   
  
"I just don't get how she can be his friend," James told Marlene with a defeated sigh. "He's a snake."   
  
"So? I'm a snake, too," the girl said. James and Sirius just shrugged.   
  
"Yeah, but you spend more time in Gryffindor common room than your own," Sirius countered. "You're not so bad."   
  
"You're idiots," Marlene sighed.   
  
"Thanks!" The boys said together. She rolled her eyes and sat next to them to watch the tryouts, letting the conversation fade. She had tried, and it was all she could do.   
  


* * *

**December 16th, 1971**   
  
"Alex, stop," Remus whined, pushing her hand away from his plate. She looked up at him with the pout that worked all too well on him every time she used it. What could he say? It was his one weakness. "Fine, but not too much please."   
  
"You'll eat what I give you," she said firmly, piling breakfast onto his plate. He shot a look to his friends, who just laughed and ignored him.   
  
"Why do you do this?" He asked tiredly.   
  
"Why not?" She countered.   
  
"Because you've got your own breakfast to worry about," he tried.   
  
"Nah," she shrugged. "I hate breakfast. It makes me feel ill."   
  
"It's true," James sighed, jumping into the conversation. "She's never really eaten more than two meals a day."   
  
Alexia nodded quietly as she poured Remus his pumpkin juice and set it in front of him. The werewolf sighed in defeat and took a bite of his eggs while she let her head fall onto the table, exhausted.   
  
"Did you sleep last night?" Sirius asked her, absentmindedly drawing circles on her arm. The two of them always seemed to be touching in some way or another. As a matter of fact, Remus thought, she always seemed to be touching one of the group, though she gravitated toward Sirius if James wasn't around. It wasn't that she wasn't almost always touching Remus somehow as well, it was more just that she and Sirius seemed to have some sort of bond that neither had noticed yet. James was her twin, so it made sense she was so close to him. Remus was also beginning to fill her need of touch as they were growing closer. The only one she didn't crave physical touch from was Peter – even Lily was rather close to Alexia. It was odd, Remus mused. She was perfectly friendly to the mousy haired boy, but she was never much more than that.   
  
"No," she huffed. "Alice and Mary were up studying for the bloody quiz in Defense today, and they were really loud."   
  
"They were actually pretty quiet," Lily told her absently. "They kept their voices to a whisper."   
  
"Lexi's got super sensitive hearing, especially at night," James told them, smiling sadly at his twin. "I used to drive her crazy."   
  
"You still do, prat," the girl huffed, bringing her head up to wink at the boy.   
  
"Why weren't you studying, too, Kitten?" Sirius asked with a frown. It was a well-known fact that Alexia was rather obsessive when it came to Potions. It was almost like someone had destroyed her confidence in the class.   
  
"Sleep," Alexia moaned.   
  
"She's not been sleeping," Lily explained with a sympathetic smile. "I'm about ready to take her to Madam Pomfrey for a dreamless sleep or something."   
  
"You wouldn't dare!" Alexia gasped in horror, turning to her friend.   
  
"I would," Lily sighed.   
  
"But I need the time!"   
  
"To do what?" Remus asked, raising an eyebrow at her. He was tired from the moon, sure, but she wasn’t taking care of herself at the same time that she demanded to take care of him and he wouldn’t have it.   
  
"I- well- I'm just-,"   
  
"Need to sleep," James said firmly. "We'll drag you kicking and screaming if you don't start."   
  
"Jamie," Alexia whined. "Exam season is starting."   
  
"I'm sure you'll survive," Sirius laughed. "You've read each book at least three times by now."   
  
"Well, yes, but-,"   
  
"Lex, just sleep seven hours a night, and we'll leave you alone," James tried.   
  
"Four," Alexia countered.   
  
"Six," James said firmly, narrowing his eyes at her. She slumped and nodded quietly. "Good."   
  
"Let's head to class," Remus suggested. "It might be best to get there early if she's so nervous."   
  


* * *

  
The test was easy. Alexia had answered each question in a breeze, but she'd still rushed to check her answers with Severus, thus leaving the remaining Marauders to talk amongst themselves, something which they would all regret quite a bit.   
  
"So, what do you suggest?" Sirius whispered, raising an eyebrow at James. He felt Remus sigh in exhaustion and sit back, making a point of not participating in this conversation. He fully sided with Alexia on this point, something that everyone else ignored.   
  
"Maybe tripping jinxes and some slicing hexes at his homework?" James suggested. He looked tired, so Sirius couldn't completely blame him for the lame ideas.   
  
"Nah, too easy. What else?"   
  
"Can we make his homework tap dance every time he touches it?" Peter asked. Sirius's head shot up in pleased surprise at the idea.   
  
"You know, Pete, that might just work…"   
  
"How?" Remus snorted. "Alex won't help you, and you idiots rely on her for a lot of your advanced spell work."   
  
"We'll work it out," Sirius said, waving away the question. He poked James hard in the side to wake the boy. They had some studying to do.   
  


* * *

  
"I'm sure you did fine," Lucius laughed as he rounded the corner with his little Gryffindor friend. She gasped and grabbed his arm at the sight in front of them. Sirius Black and James Potter were doing research.   
  
"What are you doing?" Alexia asked tensely. The boys' heads shot up at the sound and exchanged nervous looks while Lucius quietly tried to get her to relax her grip. He would have a bruise at that point.   
  
"Studying?" James asked, looking worriedly at his twin. It was a shame he was genuinely afraid of her… for him.   
  
"I highly doubt that," she said through clenched teeth.   
  
"You have no faith in us, Kitten," Sirius said, hand on chest. "I'm hurt."   
  
"I'm sure you'll get over it," she drawled, rolling her eyes. "Regardless, you're at my table and-,"   
  
"How is it your table?" Sirius questioned with a laugh. James shot him an alarmed look as Alexia's grip only tightened, her annoyance skyrocketing.   
  
"Because it is," she hissed. James blinked at her.   
  
"That's alright, Lex, we're just leaving," her twin said hastily, kicking Sirius hard under the table. The Black heir sighed dramatically as they packed up their things. James waved a little as they walked away. "See you later, Lex."   
  
"You'd better hope not," she muttered as they scurried out of the library. She huffed in frustration and bit her lip hard, thinking about what they could possibly be doing.   
  
"Alexia?" Lucius said quietly after a long minute.   
  
"Mm?"   
  
"I think you're about to break my wrist," was his dry response. She blinked at him and looked at his arm, gasping when she saw her tight grip. She let him go and offered a sheepish smile.   
  
"Sorry. They just make me so… nervous. They're really not good for my blood pressure," she told him as they sat down and pulled out their books.   
  
"Someone as young as you has blood pressure issues?" Lucius asked lightly, smiling at her, obviously amused.   
  
"I didn't until they teamed up," she said seriously. He couldn't really tell if she was joking or not, so he dropped the subject and they began their reading in companionable silence.   
  


* * *

  
"What do you mean, your homework dances away?" Alexia asked through clenched teeth, looking much too calm for her tone of voice. Severus winced as he saw her jaw clench the way it did when she was pissed off. As much as he didn't like Potter or Black, he wouldn't wish Alexia's fury on his worst enemy – which, he supposed, was what they were.   
  
"Well… I went to pick it up this morning, and it just… danced off my desk?" He offered, pointing at the offending papers, which he'd made his roommate carry for him.   
  
"Is it still doing this?" She hissed. He reached for the paper as an example and watched it jump up and dance away until it felt gently to the floor. She sighed heavily. "Right. Okay. _Finite Incantatem_ ." She waved her wand over the paper and watched it relax as the spell was cancelled.   
  
"Thank you," he sighed as he picked up the paper, smiling when it didn't tap away.   
  
"They're dead," she told him as a reply. "You prank my friends, you prank me."   
  
"What do you mean?" He asked cautiously. He had a bad feeling about that. 

  
"What do I mean?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. "I mean I will have my revenge."   
  


* * *

**December 17th, 1971**   
  
"There's a notice permanently stuck to the board addressed to us?" James repeated, suddenly very nervous. Lily smirked at him and waved vaguely at the board by the fire, walking away quietly. James stood, dragging Sirius and Remus who grabbed Peter as well to the board, gasping upon reading the only notice up there.   
  
_Messrs Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew have been served notice of war. Messr Potter has taken official offense on behalf of one Mister Snape, whose homework tried valiantly to evade him._ _  
_ _  
_ _The Prank War of 1971 has officially begun. Watch your backs._ _  
_ _  
_ _Signed, The Better Messr Potter._ _  
_   
There were a long few minutes of silence as they all processed this before James turned to his friends, a look of horror on his face. "What have we done?"   
  


* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is me realizing that all of the chapters at the beginning were really just Twenty One Pilots lyrics/chapter titles as if I wouldn't run out soon. Didn't really think that through, did I? Anyway I'm gonna post a bunch of chapters now because I'm bored and Sad Boi Hours are a constant right now.


	6. Dependant At Times

**Chapter Six**

_Lovin’ what I’m tastin’_

_Venom on my tongue_

_Dependent at times_

**December 21st, 1971**

The last day before Christmas break was long, and it ended in a shouting match in the boys’ dorm which Alexia put down to Sirius’s stubborn refusal to listen. 

“I don’t want to pack because I’m not going home!” Sirius shouted, tossing the clothes James had put in his trunk back on the floor. “I’m not going to see that bloody woman, James!” 

“What about your brother?” Peter asked, apparently not having been told of James and Alexia’s plan to take Sirius home for Christmas. 

Alexia had warned their mother before they even left for school, but she’d brought it up to James only a week earlier, having completely forgotten. He’d loved the idea but had forgotten to tell his friend the plan, so when Sirius had been nowhere to be found, James had simply begun to pack his trunk for him, resulting in the screaming. 

Sirius seemed to waver at the reminder of Regulus but shook his head nonetheless. “He clings to Mother’s skirts, he wouldn’t even be able to see me if I was there.” 

“Sirius, I’m not suggested that you-,” 

“Good, because I’m not going back there until I absolutely have to! You know that!” 

“For Merlin’s sake, why the hell are you screaming?” Alexia shouted, interrupting them. James and Sirius rushed to answer her, both yelling still, and she put her hand up, looking over to Remus, who looked ready to kill his friends. 

“Sirius refuses to go home. James isn’t very eloquent.” 

Alexia rolled her eyes. “Sirius, you’re coming home with us. Chill, and stop screaming. You’re giving Remus and I both a headache.” 

“I’m- what?” Sirius stared between her and James with wide, hopeful eyes. “Are you sure?” 

“Honestly, I think Lexi planned this from the moment you were sorted into Gryffindor,” James admitted. Alexia winked at Sirius and ducked out of the room to give them time to pack. Her things had already been sent down to the train, and she sped out of the common room, where some students had dragged their things down to pack instead of trying to do so in a crowded room. 

She made her way to the almost vacant library, looking for Severus. She’d gotten all of her friends a gift and knew that he wouldn’t be coming to the New Year’s Ball - his mother had declined his invitation - and she wanted to give it to him then. She’d taken to wearing her beaded bag again, feeling comfort and familiarity in it. 

When she looked around, she found only Lucius sitting on a couch with a book in his hands. She walked up silently behind him and read the page he was reading quietly. Her brow furrowed when she read the subject: pureblood family trees. 

“You could always ask what I’m reading,” he told her, sounding amused. She did her best not to jump but when he turned, she saw a look of concern on his face and knew she’d failed. “May I ask you a question?” 

She forced her tense shoulders to lower and nodded. “Sure.” 

“Why is it that you are always on guard?” 

The question overwhelmed her and she considered what to say. She didn’t want to lie, per se, because she knew she couldn’t lie to him successfully. But she didn’t want him to know even as much as James and Lily did, either. “There’s a lot to be afraid of in the world we live in, Lucius.” 

“There is,” he agreed as she came to sit next to him. “The unknown especially so.” 

She felt some suggestion from him but was unsure what it was. Feeling the need to change the subject, she dug through her bag looking for the gift she was giving everyone as well as his personal gift. Her hand hit a potion bottle and it fell over and she cursed softly, pulling her hand out to look at it. There was glass stuck in her hand and it bothered her that it didn’t hurt as much as she expected. Aside from that, she recognized the potion from its rare color and cringed, hiding her hand away from him. “I should go to Madame Pomfrey. If you’ll excuse me-,”

“Alexia, hold on,” he grabbed gently for her hand and as much as she wanted to fight him, she knew she couldn’t. She winced looking at the injury again and thought about both the mess in her bag and the fact that she was now down a potion for break, which meant that she’d probably be pretty bad off for a while. “Let me heal this.” 

“Madame Pomfrey can-,"

But she couldn’t argue because he’d already begun. He gently pulled the glass out of her hand and used it to catch the spare potion that he siphoned off of her hand, as well as the blood. With that done, he gently sprayed it with some water and went to heal it with his wand, but she held up her other hand. 

“I have dittany,” she admitted. She didn’t want any more scars than she already had, and if she didn’t use the potion, it would certainly scar. She opened her bag again, this time using only one hand, and pointed her wand inside. “ _Accio dittany_.” The tiny bottle flew out and Lucius caught it for her.

He didn’t comment as he finished fixing her up. When the dittany healed it, he washed off the hand once more before releasing it and handing the bottle back over. When she finished putting it in her bag, she looked back up to see him staring at her with a blank face. Her gut churned uncomfortably. After everything, she had a very bad feeling about what he’d seen.

“Alexia, are you aware of the potion that just broke in your bag?” 

“It is my bag,” she answered vaguely, and he just took that as a yes. 

“Is there a reason you have it?” 

She bit her lip and used possibly the worst excuse ever. “Just in case?” She wondered if he would’ve scoffed at her, had he not been so tense. 

“This potion is near impossible to get. Only after being diagnosed with _Longis Cruciatu_ can you get this potion,” he explained, and her shoulders slumped. She’d had no idea. “What happened?” 

“Something really bad,” she muttered, waving her wand inside her bag to vanish the mess of glass and potion in the bottom. With that done, she focused back on finding his gift. “And it wasn’t that long ago so please just let it go.” 

“There’s a lot about you that doesn’t make sense,” he commented, though his voice was lighter and she realized with no small amount of relief that he was going to respect her wishes. “What are you looking for?” 

“Your gift,” she muttered before sighing, annoyed, and pointing her wand at the bag again. “ _Accio_ DA coin,” she paused to catch the coin and set it on her leg before returning to the bag. “ _Accio_ … gift,” she tried, not wanting to ruin the surprise. Unfortunately, the lack of specification brought every gift out of the bag at once and hit both of them. She let out a squeal and tried to catch the ones that were falling off of the couch. It didn’t work, and she pouted slightly at the sight of her gifts all over the place. 

“Try being more specific,” Lucius laughed, handing her the gifts that had fallen into his lap. She made a face and shoved all but one back in the bag and took a deep breath before looking at him. 

“Right, so first is this,” she told him, handing him the Galleon. He raised an eyebrow at her. “It’s for communication. Rub your thumb around the middle three times and think what you want to tell me and it’ll send the message. It’ll light up the message above my coin, but only I’ll be able to see it. Same with yours.” 

“That’s incredible,” he complimented, looking it over. “How did you do it?” 

“An upgraded Protean charm and a few other charms,” she told him. She didn’t want to expand on it because as much as she didn’t mind knowing more than she should, the other charms she’d used for the coin were extremely rare and hard to find, and definitely out of a first year’s depths. Likely out of a regular fifth year’s depths, even. “I’m giving one to each of my friends, just in case.” 

“In case of what?” 

“Anything,” she answered ominously, before rolling her eyes. “Though I expect James and Sirius will just use them for pranks.”

“And that?” he nodded at the small wrapped box in her lap and she grinned brightly. She handed it over and he carefully unwrapped the green wrapping paper, revealing a black box inside. Glancing at her curiously, he opened it and stared down at the silver snake head with emerald green eyes. “It’s incredible. What is it?” 

“Put it on the end of your wand,” she suggested. He did as she told him to and she felt tingles at the sight. She had given him that part of his wand. And he’d used it his entire life. 

“It’s lovely,” he told her as he admired it. “Where did you find it?” 

“Oh, I had it made,” she waved him off. It had been a shot in the dark, and she’d not been going to give it to him had it not been perfect, but it had been and she knew. “It’s Goblin made. It’ll retain the excess energy from your spells and feed it back into your wand, make it more powerful. I imagine it’ll take a little getting used to.” 

“That’s brilliant,” he complimented with a grin. “Thank you, Alexia.” 

“Keep the coin on you,” she reminded him. “Just in case.” 

“Just in case.” 

* * *

“Where the hell is she?” James tapped his foot nervously. He didn’t feel anything wrong, but she was taking forever and he was almost worried she would miss the train. “She’s never late.” 

“Chill,” Sirius rolled his eyes, nodding his head out the window to where Alexia was walking with Lucius and laughing softly. “Or don’t. She is with a snake.” 

“I don’t even get why he likes her,” James growled out. “It’s creepy.” 

Remus stared at him. “He’s one year older. Not exactly a predator.” 

“Still. He’s evil!”

“I heard his dad’s having a hard time finding him a cousin to marry,” Sirius snickered. “He keeps denying them all.” 

“Oh, he has a choice?” Remus raised an eyebrow. As a halfblood, he had a fair amount of knowledge on the subject. His father had come from a good family of nice pureblood wizards and had taught Remus all about the world of purebloods. 

“He’s the Malfoy heir,” James let out a humorless laugh. 

“He can pick almost anyone he wants as long as he picks by twenty,” Sirius explained. “They want to make sure it’s a good match to rule the kingdom or whatever.” 

“What if he picks Lexi?” Peter suggested, holding back a laugh at the outraged looks he got from James and Sirius both. 

“Mum and Dad would never let her!” James shouted. “She can’t marry him!” 

“I can marry whoever I damn well please, James Potter,” Alexia snapped as she entered the open door to the compartment. “Now sit down and shut up. Who are you talking about?” 

“Lucius Malfoy,” Peter told her with a chuckle. She rolled her eyes. 

“Lucius and I will not be married,” she promised so firmly that they believed her. “Now, are you all coming to the New Year’s Ball?” 

“I don’t know, Alex.” Remus sighed. She knew immediately what his reservations were and was furious. The moon was nowhere near the ball - he just didn’t like being in large crowds at all for fear of hurting them. 

“Remus Jacob Lupin, you will come or I will come to your house and forcibly drag you there myself,” she glared deeply, and his eyes widened. He nodded, and she smiled, giving him whiplash. 

“Pete?” James asked. 

“I’ll be there,” the boy confirmed. “Who else is coming?” 

“Oh, I invited Lily,” Alexia spoke up. “And Severus said his mother has a work party planned so he’s going to sneak in with Lily.” 

“Lex, if mum finds out-,”

“That’s why she won’t,” she raised an eyebrow. “His mum will be gone for three days and his dad is out of the country so he’s going to stay with Lily and come a day early like she is.” 

“Lexi!” James whined. 

“Jamie!” she mocked, making a face. “Deal with it. He’s my friend.” 

“He’s a prat is what he is-,”

“Oh boy,” Remus muttered. 

Alexia stood calmly and plucked her wand from her pocket, using it to turn some curls before she pointed it at James and hit him with the bat boogey hex. With that done, she marched from the compartment to go find Lily and Severus. 

* * *

When the train arrived at King’s Cross station, Alexia ran out of it as fast as she could and toward her parents, James running after her, screaming. Dorea and Charlus exchanged an exhausted look before Charlus caught Alexia by the shoulders and Dorea grabbed James, holding him tight. 

“Woah,” Charlus’s mouth dropped open at the sight of slimy bats flying out of James’s nose. “What happened here?” 

“Lexi hexed me!” he managed to gasp out between bats. 

“He insulted my friend and he has been all semester!” she shouted back, glaring at her brother. “You should be glad I didn’t zip your mouth shut. It certainly sounds appealing now.” 

“Hey, wands down,” Charlus told Alexia with a stern look. She huffed and put her wand away as Dorea looked over James. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen this before,” she admitted, looking to Alexia. “What is it?” 

“The bat boogey hex,” she announced proudly. “My friend made it.” 

“I’d like you to remove it, please,” Dorea requested, though Alexia knew it wasn’t a request. She gave a pout before removing the hex, much to James’s relief. “And James, you have to stop insulting her friend. How would you like it if she insulted your friend?” 

“My friends _are_ her friends and she insults them all the time!” 

Alexia shook her head. “Not Remus.” 

“Yeah, kitten, why’s he exempt?” Sirius asked, speaking for the first time. He’d been watching the scene in amusement so far. 

“He’s different,” she told him without explaining. 

“This must be Sirius,” Dorea grinned, looking at the boy. His ruffled, neck-length obsidian black hair and trademark silver eyes seemed wrong matched with his bright smile. “I’m so excited to have you here for Christmas. Tell me, are your parents coming for the Ball?” 

“Merlin, I hope not,” he muttered. 

Alexia’s gaze drifted over to where she saw Remus looking around, lost. She frowned at him as a surge of strong love and protectiveness rose up in her. She remembered him telling her once that his parents had often forgotten or avoided him because he was a werewolf, and it made her furious. He straightened and looked across the platform directly at her in shock, and she wondered if, even from there, he could feel what she was feeling and if just maybe he knew it was for him. She waved him over and hesitantly he came, coming to a stop at her side, where she grabbed his hand. 

“Mum, Dad, this is Remus Lupin,” she introduced. “One of my absolute best friends.” 

“Hello, dear,” Dorea smiled kindly. “Will we be seeing you over break?” 

He nodded quickly in response. “I’ll be at the ball.” 

As the attention turned away from him again, Alexia scooted closer to whisper to him. “They’re not here?” 

“No.”

“Come home with us,” she requested. At his immediate denial, she rushed on. “Spend Christmas with us. Please, Remus? It’d be so great. At least come home for today. We can owl your parents and see what’s going on.” 

“...okay.” 

* * *

In the end, Remus’s parents had jumped at the chance to send their son away for even longer. Alexia and Dorea were feeling similar feelings of rage and familial love. It was all a little overwhelming for Remus, who was unused to such protective people in his life. 

After dinner, both Alexia and Remus were overwhelmed while Sirius and James had a ton of pent up energy. The latter two were sent out to fly while the former two went up to Alexia’s room to hang out in a more relaxed atmosphere. 

“Hey, Alex,” Remus called after thirty minutes of companionable silence. She looked up from her book on Animagi to the boy, who was frowning. “How did you know about… me?”

“Oh,” she marked her page and set down the book. “Well, I told you I knew a werewolf, right?” 

“Yeah.” 

“He taught me how to look out for others,” she explained. It was only a bit of a lie. Truthfully, it had been Severus who had really shown her the characteristics of a werewolf, but the specifics didn’t matter. “James doesn’t know how to, though. But I recognized it quick. You got sick, you could feel my emotions, you were weaker toward the moon. Three months in and I knew.” 

“Actually,” he frowned at her. “It’s not only close to the moon. I’m an empath. I can always feel your emotions.” 

Alexia stopped, freezing with her mouth hanging open a little bit. It did make sense, but it presented a whole new problem. How was she supposed to hide her complex emotions from an empath? Though, she supposed, he’d already felt all of it. She’d done some reading on an empath in her fourth year and it didn’t mean anything good. Remus would emotionally bond to people of importance in his life and would be able to feel their emotions almost anytime, anywhere. There were times it would fade, of course, but almost always he’d know what she felt. Which made sense. He’d always been really in tune with her, and she just assumed it was the way he was. 

“Oh.”

“Are you okay?” 

“Um… yeah.” 

Remus snorted. “Lexi, I just told you I’m an empath and you’re trying to lie to me. What’s wrong?” 

“I don’t like the idea of you or anyone being able to know what I feel at all times,” she admitted. A horrible thought slipped into her mind and she felt sick with anxiety. “Remus, at night, do you ever- I have nightmares, do you-,”

“I do,” he nodded, and she swore softly, biting her lip hard. “Only when I’m awake. When it’s really bad it can slip into my dreams but it’s okay.” 

“I’m sorry,” she muttered, hating herself a little more now. “I didn’t realize. I’ll try and find something to block it or… I don’t know. I’ll figure it out.” 

“It’s okay, Alex,” he assured her. “Can I ask you another question?”

“Huh?” she replied, distracted. 

“How did you find me on the train?” she looked up at him again, surprised. 

“I don’t know. I was walking and I just saw you and… I don’t know. It felt immensely important. I had to be your friend.” 

He gave her a soft smile and stood, making his way over to lay next to her on the large bed. His feet hung off the end, speaking to his abnormal height for being the age he was. “I’m so happy you know.” 

She smiled brightly at him. “You might be a werewolf, Remus, but you’re still a wizard, and you’re still my friend. It changes nothing, no matter what you think.” 

There was a thump outside the door and Alexia’s lips thinned as a string of panicked cursing could be heard. She jumped off the bed and swung the door open to see Sirius and James lying on the floor trying to get up. They looked at her with wide eyes, knowing they were caught. “James, Sirius, get inside. _Now_.” 

They did as she asked, standing in front of the bed where Remus had a blank face. She knew he was lost and scared and she wanted to help him but she had to yell first. But before she could say anything, Sirius spoke. 

“Why would you think she wouldn’t be your friend because you’re a werewolf?” he asked with as much tact as usual. Remus winced hard and James and Alexia both smacked Sirius. 

“Because I’m a monster and I could hurt people,” Remus answered, his voice shaking. 

Alexia’s mind drifted back to the image of Greyback tearing out Lavender’s throat and she shuddered. “Remus, I know exactly one werewolf that is a monster and it isn’t you. He kills people, you don’t. You’re just trying to live your life and get an education.” 

“What monster werewolf do you know?” James asked her in surprise. The dark look on her face had him nervous. 

“Fenrir Greyback,” she answered. “And Remus isn’t anything like him, got it?” 

“Hey, I wouldn’t-,”

“How?”

Alexia turned to Remus upon hearing his small, quiet voice. “What?” 

“How do you know him?” 

She considered making something up but she decided on telling the truth instead. “He killed a friend of mine. It was… brutal.” 

“Lex,” James whispered, pulling her into his side. She let him, not able to hold onto the anger she’d felt toward him moments ago. Truthfully and shamefully, she wasn’t particularly upset over Lavender’s death. She simply remembered it as the first moment she’d seen someone die in the final battle, and she’d thrown up as she’d run to the boathouse. She’d gotten Greyback off of the girl but she was certain she hadn’t killed the wolf, no matter how much she wished she had. 

“Holy shit,” Sirius whispered, watching her. It had been clear since the day they met that she’d gone through some shit, not to mention some shit that James hadn’t gone through and apparently didn’t know about, but he hadn’t imagined something so gruesome. 

“My point is,” she told them, staring into Remus’s eyes. “Remus is our friend. Our family. He’s nothing like Greyback.” 

“Greyback is the one that bit me,” Remus told them. Alexia stiffened at the new knowledge. She’d known he’d scratched up Bill pretty bad but she’d never known he’d bitten Remus. “When I was four. My dad was… I guess he was saying some pretty nasty stuff about werewolves but especially Greyback, and so he took it out on me.” 

Alexia pulled herself from James’s grasp and crawled onto the bed, pulling Remus into a tight hug. She said nothing as James and Sirius did the same. No one spoke at all, just lending each other support for nearly an hour until Dorea poked her head in the door and sent them all to wash their hands for dinner. 

* * *

**December 22nd, 1971**

_Hermione stood at the front of the bridge, staring at the Dementors. She felt absolutely no change in emotion as they creeped forward. Beside her, Harry cast a weak Patronus, and though she tried to do the same, nothing came out. They were only saved by Aberforth, who sent a Patronus stronger than possibly even his brother at the dementors, and the ghastly creatures flew back. Harry grabbed her wrist and pulled her along, and the trio fought their way across the battle toward the boat house._

_She was stopped by a man with blood dripping down his face and, having no time for it, she cast the Killing Curse and he was gone before his body even hit the ground. She raced after her friends to see them caught by an army of giants, weaving in and out of their legs. Her eyes caught those of Draco Malfoy, who stood there in shock and horror as a giant tripped back, about to fall on her. To her surprise and relief, he cast a shield above her. It wasn’t strong enough to hold up the giant but it was strong enough to give her time to get out. She spared him a glance as she ran but he was already gone._

_Hours before then, she had been rushing through the castle in search of Harry. She and Ron had split up after Ginny took the map to find Neville to deliver news from Professor McGonagall. Truthfully, she hadn’t listened and hadn’t cared._

_Her search was stopped by a familiar man with a familiar sadistic grin and curly black hair. His eyes were a sharp blue that made her shiver, and she didn’t even have the time to try and recall his name before they were duelling. He was obviously more learned than she was, but she had more raw strength, and all she could hope was that it was enough. They traded hexes and curses like a dance, and she could feel her power slowly draining. In a moment she expected him to take a second to breathe as he had been, he shot a curse at her. It hit her side and she cried out in pain, falling to the floor. Whatever it was, it was dark, and it_ hurt _. Her entire body was on fire, or it felt like it. He stalked over to her, a smirk on his face._

_“I’ve been looking for you, Alexia.”_

“Lexi!” James called to her, touching the side of her face gently. “Lex, please wake up.” 

“No, stop it!” she screamed in her sleep. “ _Please_ stop!” 

“Alexia!” he tried again, though it didn’t work. She kept silence wards around her room, but they only worked when the door was closed completely, and he’d opened the door a crack after she’d fallen asleep. With his room across from hers, it was easy to hear it. Unfortunately for James, he hadn’t realized that it would also make it easy for Sirius and Remus to hear. 

Sirius sped into the room, his wand clutched tight in his hand. Upon seeing James kneeling over Alexia on the bed, he understood the situation, though he felt horror run through him. He dropped his wand on the bedside table and jumped up on the bed as well, grabbing Alexia’s head to put in his lap. It had a different and much worse effect than he was intending. As James yelled for him to stop, Alexia’s eyes shot open and she rolled over to pin Sirius to the bed, her arm down on his throat. Her eyes were wild, and she shook violently all the while. 

“Lex, hey,” James put a hand on each of her arms. “It’s us. You’re okay. We’re here. I’m here, Lex. Take a deep breath.” 

She did as he said, almost automatically, and Sirius watched as her eyes cleared from the clouded uncertainty and fear he’d seen moments before to a horrified understanding. She jumped back from him, hitting her head against James’s own, and crawled back on the bed until she was as far away from him as possible. “Oh my god…” 

“It’s okay,” James assured her, holding his hands out in front of her. “We’re not upset. He’s not upset, see? He’s just worried.” 

Sirius nodded quickly, getting to his knees again to look at the scared and agitated girl. “You okay, kitten?” 

She let out a gasp at the nickname and rushed toward him, though this time to hug him. He held her, looking at James in shock, as she cried into his shoulder. The door creaked open and they all looked over to see a terrified looking Remus lock eyes with Alexia, whose fear turned to guilt. 

“Jamie,” she whispered, her voice so soft that even Remus could barely hear it. “The fort.” 

“Yeah,” he agreed, getting up off the bed. “Let’s go, Lex.” 

“Where are we going?” Sirius asked as he carefully helped the girl off the bed. 

“We built a fort,” was all James said in reply. The group of four walked silently up a flight of stairs, the only sound the padding of their feet against the wood floors. They went to the last room on the left and entered to find a giant fort of pillows and blankets and even bean bag chairs and stuffed animals lying around the room. James had whispered a password before the door would let them inside and once inside, Alexia relaxed a great deal. 

James sat down and Alexia sat in front of him, waiting while Sirius and Remus positioned themselves in front of and behind her. She laid her head in Sirius’s lap and her feet in Remus’s, grabbing James’s hand and relaxing as Sirius carded his fingers through her hair gently. 

“That one was bad,” James whispered as if he didn’t want to disrupt the silence. Alexia nodded in response. 

“I remembered something that…” she shook her head, looking confused. “Doesn’t make sense. I don’t remember… it just doesn’t make sense.”

“Wanna talk about it?” Sirius asked. James looked at him in horror. It had been his unspoken rule not to ask his sister about whatever trauma she’d endured ever since she’d arrived, and Sirius had so casually broken it without any respect at all for the careful way he’d been handling her fears. But to his surprise, Alexia gave a short nod. 

“Jamie, I’d like to tell them,” she said. This time, it was a warning and a request as opposed to the way she’d told Lily. He nodded once and she moved on. “I want to make it clear that James is my best friend and my brother, my twin, no matter what.” 

“Okay…” Sirius stared at her. 

“But I was adopted this past summer.” 

“ _What_?” Sirius stared. 

“I thought so,” Remus sighed in relief. She had made no sense. No matter how close they were, there were some things that James didn’t know about her that made no sense. Things a brother should and would know. 

“Um,” she glanced to James. “There’s also something you don’t know.” 

“Lex, you don’t have to-,” 

“I need to right now,” she insisted. He nodded once and she moved on. “So before I was adopted, I showed up at Hogwarts really injured and they had to patch me up.” 

“I know,” James nodded. “Dad told me you would be. Said you’d need time and a friend. A brother.”

“Yeah, but…” she sighed in frustration and dug into her beaded bag, which she’d grabbed on her way out of her room. She hadn’t been willing to go anywhere without it. She finally found what she was looking for and pulled it out, showing it to them. James and Remus gave her a blank look. 

Sirius, however… 

“Oh, fuck,” he whispered, eyes wide with horror. “Oh… fuck. Shit, kitten.”

“I don’t understand,” James looked between his sister and best friend. “What is it?” 

“It’s an advanced pain potion,” Sirius let out a shaky breath. “To be taken for years at a time by people who have undergone extreme periods of the… the _Cruciatus_.” 

James and Remus stiffened. 

She looked between them. “When I arrived at Hogwarts, I was a nineteen year old girl named Hermione Granger who was in a lot of pain and a lot of danger and I needed help.” 

“Oh my god,” Remus breathed. “That makes so much sense. That’s how you know so much.” 

“I thought it would be awkward, becoming eleven again,” she admitted. “But honestly I don’t feel like I’ve ever been older, even if I know better.” 

“Why are you telling us this now?” Sirius wondered. She let out a sigh. It felt good to have the truth out there, even just a part of it. 

“Because I’m exhausted,” she told them. “Of having these things in my past that no eleven-year-old should have gone through.” 

“Lexi,” Sirius frowned at her. “No nineteen-year-old should’ve, either.” 

“I had no choice,” she told him. “And I was old enough to be taken seriously enough to go through it at all. At eleven, I wouldn’t be.” 

“What… who?” he asked. She considered her options. Tell him the truth and risk him flipping his shit on his cousin or lie. She settled for neither. 

“I’d rather not say,” she admitted. “Not right now. Maybe another time.” 

Sirius stared at her for a long second, suspicious. 

“So, if you’re nineteen,” James considered. “That explains why you know Hogwarts so well. You’ve already gone.” 

She blinked, relief flooding through her at the excuse that wasn’t even a lie. “Yeah. But the teachers don’t know the truth. I look different. Only Dumbledore and Madame Pomfrey know.”

“Cool!” Sirius grinned, breaking most of the tension. “You can help us with our homework!” 

“No,” she made a face at him. “I spent my first time around helping my best friends and I’m not doing it again.” 

“Aw, Alex!” 

“No!” 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh shit I just remembered, I don't think I've mentioned this - I have a tiktok for writing stuff! It's under the same username and it's just where I put random thoughts that I can't add to my stories or things I can't send my sister because it gets to be A Lot when I'm messaging her while she's sleeping. She's woken up to like 200 messages before, I swear to god. Anyway, check it out if you want! I don't have too much up yet but I'm working on it adding more about my stories, and since Alexia is my favorite, I have talked about her a few times! Might see a few spoilers, though.


	7. Beat Is A Chemical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess on what this chapter is: Christmas maybe? Probably the ball and something after it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all I swear my lyrics and chapter titles get better. Like I put a lot of thought into them later on, and in the fics I'm still working on that have that format. Like. Man, I was bad at this in 2016. Anyway, the reason I don't add chapter summaries is that quite honestly, I have no fuckin clue what's happening early on in particular chapters. Like I do remember my story, just... details and chapter numbers mix together after a while. I'll probably be able to later on but frankly, I'm not up for re-reading my own story right now. So like. You get vague guesses in the summaries for the time being.

**Chapter Seven**

_ This beat is a chemical,  _

_ Beat is a chemical. _

**December 30th, 1971**

Christmas was a happy, quiet day. Since the first night back and Alexia’s big nightmare, the group had taken to sleeping together in Alexia’s bed. Dorea had taken a picture the first morning and woken them up without a word. 

The days following Christmas were spent in chaos. The kids helped the elves clean; they didn’t have to, but Dorea liked to make them do chores occasionally, and cleaning out old cupboards of heirlooms was a fun time with Alexia. In the end, they’d found a beautiful silver and red ring that looked like vines twisting around her finger delicately and it had readjusted its size to fit her perfectly. 

The day before the Ball, all that was left was finding the perfect outfits, something that the kids themselves had put off since they’d gotten home. Sirius felt fine letting the Potters pay for his dress clothes, but Remus was a different case. It took severe Slytherin meddling before Remus gave into Dorea’s quest to buy him a good set of formal robes. 

The shop was quiet and mostly empty, save for the four kids, along with Lily and Severus, who had tagged along as Lily didn’t have anything appropriate and Severus didn’t want to stay at Lily’s house alone with Petunia. 

“Oh, this one is pretty,” Lily gasped, grabbing a plum colored floor length dress. Alexia nodded and waved for her friend to try it on. Once the other girl had left for the dressing rooms, Alexia moved to another rack, gently touching a deep green dress. As much as her brother and Sirius hated the color, she enjoyed it greatly. It complimented not only her skin well but also her now black hair. She plucked it off the rack and made for the dressing room when she ran straight into someone. 

“Oh my god, I’m so-,” she cut herself off as she caught sight of the boy in front of her and grinned, giggling softly. 

“We can’t keep meeting like this,” Lucius told her as he grabbed her shoulders to steady her. “Are you alright?” 

“I think I’ll survive,” she confirmed. There was a moment of silence and she bit her lip. “Will you be at the Ball?” 

“I will,” he nodded curiously. 

“I’d like to talk to you for a moment if that’s alright,” she requested impulsively. The serious look on her face made him curious and he tilted his head. “It’s serious. I need to ask you a favor that you may very well be uncomfortable with.” 

He dipped his head. “We’ll talk tomorrow.” 

She offered him a smile. “Thank you.” 

He went to turn away but paused. “Green suits you, Alexia.” 

She nodded, her smile growing as she met his eyes for the briefest of moments. “I think so, too.” 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

**December 31st, 1971**

The day of the ball was just as hectic as the week leading up to it. Caterers had arrived and house elves had prepared everything before anyone had even woken, and yet both Charlus and Dorea were in a tizzy as they double and triple checked everything for the night ahead. 

The kids, now including Lily and Severus who had opted to spend the night in Potter Manor, spent most of the day playing or doing their own thing. For Alexia, Lily, and Severus, that meant reading quietly in the library. 

Alexia had been undergoing the process of trying to find her Animagus form for months and she knew she was almost there. She could see something with a tail and ears and she only hoped she wasn’t a dog like Ron’s Patronus. 

As she slipped deeper into her meditation, she could see… three different animals, much to her surprise. One was a snake, and it made her pause. She knew she had a fierce snake in her and she was starting to accept that, but she also knew it wasn’t all that she was. Another was a bird, one that she didn’t recognize. She liked the idea of it, but she didn’t want to fly away. She wanted to be present and close to her friends. Which led her to her last form.

A fox. 

The sight surprised her a little. The fox had red hair and a dark, bushy tail. It was on guard, but also open to fun. Which, she supposed, was what she wanted to be. And as she decided that, the other two choices faded away, and she  _ felt _ the fox.

She felt the fox just a little too much. 

Before she could stop herself, she was sinking to the ground and she could hear Lily shouting in surprise at the sight. Her book fell to the floor and she sat patiently. She had absolutely no clue how to change back, that much was for sure. She felt stuck with the form she was in, and it made her itchy. She watched carefully as Lily ran out of the room in fright and Severus slowly walked over to her, his hand out in front of him to pick up the book. She could smell his uncertainty and worry, and she saw his eyes close as he took a breath. 

“You are ridiculous,” he muttered with an eye roll. “You should know better than to do this alone, Lexi.” 

She just let out a small bark, which made her want to cry. 

“Okay,” he let out a breath, kneeling down to look at her. “Okay. Do you remember how it felt to be human? Do you remember how soft your skin was?” 

She did, and she missed it. 

“Remember that. Hold onto that. Do you remember what you looked like? Do you remember your hair?” 

She did. It was black now, and she liked it better that way. 

“Do you remember what it felt like to grab a handful of grass or dig your toes into the sand? Remember that, Lexi.” 

She did, and she focused so hard that she thought she might explode. And, she supposed, it did sort of feel like exploding. Her body shot outwards and she felt so abruptly human that she turned to the trash can and threw up. 

“Lovely,” he muttered, plucking her book from the floor. “This specifically says to have someone with you while you try this, Alexia.” 

“There was no one I could have with me,” she defended herself. “I was fine until just now.” 

“I’ll sit with you the next time you do it,” he told her, sighing as if it were a chore. 

“Um,” she frowned as she poked her head out the door. “Where did Lily go?” 

“Probably to get your mum,” Severus suggested. Alexia’s eyes widened in horror and she sped out of the room to stop her well-meaning friend. 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Alexia sat in her bedroom with Lily as she charmed the girl’s hair to stay put as she shoved in about a hundred bobby pins. Lily had done the same for her, and she was grateful. She wanted everything to be perfect for Dorea and Charlus. 

“Okay,” she stepped back to admire her handiwork. “Looks like a good updo to me.” 

“It’s perfect,” Lily grinned. 

“Okay,” Alexia stepped over to the bed to pick up her dress. “Time to get dressed and go downstairs.” 

“Are you ready for this?” 

“No,” she let out a short laugh. “Are you?” 

“No,” Lily agreed. “My first wizarding party. How bad will it be?” 

Alexia shrugged. She’d asked James the same thing and he’d assured her it would be fine as long as she avoided the old people. “Just steer clear of people you don’t know and you’ll be golden.” 

“Gotcha,” Lily muttered as Alexia slipped into the bathroom with her dress. She quickly pulled her clothes off and put on the beautiful floor length dress she’d gotten. It had long sleeves, much to her relief. The glamour Madame Pomfrey had given her had only lasted for an hour before the dark magic left over in the scar had torn it apart. 

“Ready?” she asked, poking her head out the door. Lily stood in her beautiful plum colored dress and fidgeted with the bracelet that Alexia had given her for Christmas. It was the only jewelry she wore, and it made Alexia smile. She herself was wearing only the Potter ring and a necklace Fred had gotten her to make up for the joke product that had given her a black eye. She’d appreciated it and wore it whenever she could and when she couldn’t, she’d kept it in her bag, just to remember. 

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Lily agreed. The girls linked their arms together and left the room, walking down the large staircase together. The ballroom was already bustling with people, and they slipped easily into the group. 

It was a full thirty minutes of just dancing with her friend before the boys had even finished getting ready and joined the group. There were plenty of kids from school along with their families, and they mingled with them mostly to be polite. 

James pulled Lily away from her for a dance and she made her way over to the drink station where she desperately wanted to steal something alcoholic. With a desolate sigh, she grabbed a cup of water instead.

“You sound absolutely miserable,” an amused voice said. She looked over to see Lucius smirking at her and she rolled her eyes. 

“Is it really that obvious?” 

“Only to anyone looking.” 

She let out a huff. “I don’t like dancing and I especially don’t like big crowds. They stress me out.”

“Perhaps you’d like to get away and talk,” he suggested, holding his hand out. She took it with great relief and let him lead her from the ballroom. Once out, she led him up the stairs to the library, where she locked the doors and put up about three wards to discourage prying eyes and ears. 

“Thank god,” she breathed, closing her eyes for a moment. “Too many people talking down there.” 

“Are you alright?” he asked her in concern. It seemed just as genuine as the night they’d met and that was infuriating to her. He’d raised his son in the hands of Voldemort, watched her be tortured for more hours than she could count, and still, as a child, he was kind to her. 

“A lot is going on,” she admitted. She could tell he didn’t mind delaying the subject but she certainly did. The nightmare she’d had at the beginning of Christmas break was haunting her and she needed to know. Unfortunately, her options were Sirius or Lucius, and her gut leaned toward Lucius. Sirius didn’t have the same ability to stay calm that her older friend had. “I need you to use Legilimency to help figure out who I dreamt of.” 

“I’m no master Legilimens,” he looked at her cautiously. She’d been right the day before- the request did make him uncomfortable. Still, he could tell it was important, which was the only reason he was considering it at all. “What is so important?” 

“I’m not sure,” she frowned, looking down at the ring on her finger. “But it feels crucial.” 

“Alexia,” he said, waiting until she looked at him again. “I cannot control what we see. I can only guide us along the path you’re looking for. Are you certain that you want to do this?” 

“I do,” she agreed nervously. Truthfully, she hadn’t thought it through much. If she had, she’d have considered the things he’d see and how telling they’d be. If her desperation hadn’t overcome her, then sense would’ve taken over. But it didn’t, and she placed herself on the arm of the couch and met his eyes, waiting silently. 

Lucius took in a deep breath and raised his wand. Something in him knew that whatever was about to happen would be bad, but he ignored it. “ _ Legilimens _ .” 

_ Hermione threw another curse at the man in front of her, grunting with the effort to dodge his spell. They’d been dueling for a while and she was exhausted already. He hadn’t stopped grinning at her the entire time and it made her a little sick. She knew there were some Death Eaters, like Draco, who didn’t belong there. But this man  _ enjoyed _ what he was doing. It was hard to keep up and he’d been stepping closer the entire time, forcing her to back up.  _

_ He’d had a pattern the entire time. Three spells in succession, a shield, and a two-second break to take a breath. She’d been watching and counting and waiting for her opportunity. So when he was supposed to take a second, she also paused to breathe, her fast breathing making her dizzy and lightheaded. Unfortunately, he must’ve been waiting for just that. In that moment, he threw a dark curse at her, and she didn’t notice it until it was too late. It hit her side and she felt like her entire body was on fire, though she knew it wasn’t. The pain was excruciating and she fell to the hard stone floor with a cry. He stalked over to her, a smirk on his face and his wand pointed down at her. _

_ “I’ve been looking for you, Alexia.”  _

The memory shifted and Lucius was tense. Whatever he was watching only proved what he’d guessed at already. Lucius looked around. He was in a very familiar place with Bellatrix and Dolohov, who he’d already identified as the man - not boy - that she was looking to identify. 

_ Hermione screamed in pain, tears streaming down her face as Bellatrix trained her wand on her and laughed loudly. She was lying on the ground, curled up into a ball with her head hanging back. She could see two people - Lucius Malfoy and someone she couldn’t recognize - walk into the room and sit there, watching.  _

_ Through the pain, a thought danced through her mind, and she almost laughed. She must have truly been desperate to think about begging Lucius Malfoy for help. Seeing the careless look on his face, she knew it would’ve done no good.  _

_ The pain stopped suddenly, and she let out a gasp as her entire body began to shake violently. She whimpered, unable to control herself. With a glance at a clock across the room, she guessed it had been going for at least four hours. She wondered if she was done, and her question was answered by the man, who had switched places with Bellatrix after a few words. He pointed his wand at her, and the pain began again. The screaming began again. But the shaking stopped, and that was something.  _

_ As the door closed, she realized she was alone with the man, and he lifted his wand, kneeling down next to her. He pushed a lock of hair out of her face and stroked her cheek lightly, shaking his head at her as if she were a disappointment.  _

_ “You’re almost there,” he told her. She could barely hear him or understand him. Her body shook and her chest hurt, and she almost didn’t care what he had to say. His breath tickled her lips and she wanted to move back or cry, but she couldn’t move. “You’re almost her.”  _

_ He kissed her chapped, bleeding lips and stood, beginning the curse again.  _

The terrifying memory slipped away from them, replaced by a scene outside the castle. 

_ She ran as fast as she could, dodging hexes and curses as she did so. She threw up a shield for Remus as he ran beside her and was almost hit by something she couldn’t identify. Hagrid’s burning hut was behind her, and she heard more Death Eaters join the fight against few Order members and even fewer students.  _

_ She turned around to glance behind her and saw a cruel, laughing face running at her. She realized far too late that he’d sent a curse her way. Only Remus shoving her to the ground saved her life from what would’ve been a fatal hit.  _

The memory changed for the last time and she felt her chest tighten at the sight before her, unable to stop the memory from playing as much as she wished she could. 

_ She was running around the Veil room, ducking and dodging Death Eaters as she went. She let out a yelp of pain when Lucius got another hit in, the cutting hex digging deep into her thigh. Still, she kept running even as he kept aiming for her. She knew he was only trying to keep her busy, but he was rather difficult to hold her own against, and she wanted to cry.  _

_ The fight was taken from her, however, when a pair of arms wrapped firmly around her waist and she felt herself be pulled abruptly backward. She nearly fell as the momentum of running was taken abruptly, but the man holding her held her firmly up. She felt his breath on her neck, could smell it, and it made her sick. She nearly threw up when his lips brushed her neck, and she began struggling, but then her eyes caught sight of Bellatrix dueling Sirius.  _

_ Hermione groaned in pain as the man behind her tightened his grip on her, crushing her hand awkwardly against the openly bleeding wound on her stomach. He laughed and the sound was disgusting, but the feel of his laugh behind her was worse.  _

_ They were now watching Bellatrix dueling Sirius, and she could almost forget the man behind her as she watched. It was brutal as the pair exchanged hexes and curses. Bellatrix threw an Avada but Sirius ducked out of the way and it hit the ground behind him instead, much to her relief. Truthfully, Sirius was doing extremely well. He was gaining speed and Bellatrix looked overwhelmed by it.  _

_ When Bellatrix threw a dark curse toward Sirius while he was also casting, Harry tossed a shield in front of his godfather, just barely managing to save the man. Sirius glanced back and grinned, though Hermione could see him sweating from the stress.  _

_ “Nice one James!”  _

_ Harry’s smile froze, but Sirius didn’t catch his own mistake. He turned back to his cousin, but she’d already taken the opportunity to throw another spell. Hermione watched in horror as the stunner, of all things, hit her friend’s only family left. It wouldn’t have been a problem, but Sirius tipped back just a little too far and fell into the Veil. _

_ Hermione struggled against the man holding her, who was laughing, and screamed as she tried to get away. Luckily, Remus rushed to Harry and grabbed him, holding him back from rushing after his godfather.  _

_ The man holding her dug his fingers into her arms and pulled her back against his chest again, leaning down to whisper to her. Luckily for her, someone ran straight into the pair, alerting the Order of where they were. The man released her by shoving her hard away from him and out of the wards he’d set up. After that, he apparated straight out of the ministry after his friends, leaving her to be found by Tonks.  _

They slipped out of the memories, out of her mind, and Lucius found himself once more standing across from Alexia, whose eyes were closed tight and her hands balled up into fists. 

“Alexia,” he said, his voice soft. He could see her chest rising and falling quicker than he thought was strictly healthy. She opened her eyes slowly and looked at him. He was only one year older than her but she still looked tiny, and now much smaller than he felt she should be. 

“Sorry,” she muttered. “I didn’t… it I’d known you’d see that, I wouldn’t have-,”

“I did warn you,” he reminded her gently. She didn’t reply, so he answered the question she’d come to him to answer in the first place. “Antonin Dolohov.”

“Yeah,” she muttered, glancing down at her covered arm and shuddering. “Thank you… I’ve been gone for a while now, Lucius. Jamie is probably looking for me.”

Lucius had two options. Ask her about the things he’d seen - including him as an adult and her as a younger adult - or let her go and figure it out later. Looking her over, he knew any conversation would only make things worse for her, so he let it go, despite his strong urge to understand what he’d seen. “Let me escort you to him.”

She smiled at him in great relief and took his arm, waving her wand to remove the wards she’d put up. With that done, he escorted her down the stairs to where James was sat in the hall, whispering hurriedly with Remus. At the sight of them, both boys jumped to their feet and rushed over. Lucius released Alexia as James grabbed her face and pressed their foreheads together. 

“Is she okay?” Remus asked him with worry. Lucius considered the boy before him. He was a young Gryffindor half-blood, and also a werewolf, something that his father had told him before school started. But he was kind and a good person, so Lucius answered him. 

“She will be,” he assured him. “I must get back to the party.”

As he turned to leave, Alexia broke away from her brother and grabbed his hand, looking in his eyes. “Thank you.”

He dipped his head and waited for her to let go. When she did, he slipped back into the ballroom and tried to temporarily forget what he’d just seen, the images and even worse, screams, haunting him. 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Sirius ducked behind Peter, peeking to see if his mother had caught sight of him. Luckily, it seemed she’d been caught up in a conversation with Cygnus Black. He let out a deep breath and stepped back to where he was, leaning against the table once more. 

“You have to see them eventually,” Peter told him, sipping at some punch. Sirius glared at him. 

“Easy for you to say,” he muttered. “You don’t live with her. She didn’t raise you.” 

“I know,” the boy agreed, glancing toward the open doors where he could see Alexia speaking in hushed tones with James and Remus. “What do you think happened?” 

“Dunno,” Sirius replied after he realized what his friend was talking about. They watched the small group together and Sirius noted the look of anger on James’s face. “She must’ve run into trouble or something.” 

“In her own home?” Peter raised an eyebrow. 

“In her own home that has a bunch of evil bigots in it,” Sirius shot back. 

“Why are your parents invited, anyway?” Peter wondered, looking at the room of politically diverse people wandering around and mingling as if they didn’t hate one another. “Wouldn’t it make more sense for Lady Potter to just invite people they actually like?” 

“Purebloods,” Sirius scowled. “You’re lucky, Pete. Your parents don’t care. The rest of us have to go to parties with evil people.” 

“Don’t call her evil,” Narcissa scolded as she came to stand with her younger cousin. “She’ll hex you for that.” 

“You’ve met her,” Sirius replied, rolling his eyes. “What are you guys doing here? I thought Cygnus refused to come to a Potter party ever again.” 

Narcissa looked around them before leaning in to whisper to him. “It’s the Potter girl. There are… inconsistencies and he’s determined to prove it.” 

Sirius tensed, worried. “Inconsistencies?” 

“The family trees,” Narcissa confirmed with a nod. “She doesn’t show up on some of them correctly.” 

“Huh,” Sirius’s eyes flicked over to where he saw Alexia standing with James and Remus, this time having moved inside the ballroom again. “If you’ll excuse me…” 

He stepped around his confused cousin, leaving Peter with her, and made his way through the maze of people until he reached his friends. “Guys, come here.” 

The three exchanged a look and ducked once more out of the room with him, not stopping until they were in the kitchens with the elves. 

“Sirius, what is it?” Remus asked, shaking off his friend’s hand from his arm. 

“It’s my uncle,” he told them, glancing worriedly between Alexia and James. “They noticed you’re not on all of the family trees. That’s why they’re here. Narcissa told me.” 

“Wonderful,” Alexia breathed, biting her lip as she thought. “Is there anything we can do about it?” 

“I can check the Black tree at home,” Sirius offered. “I know it can be spelled. Reg did it once a couple of years ago to say that he’d died.” 

“Why would he do that?” James asked him, startled. 

“He wanted to run away,” Sirius rolled his eyes. “He told me that if our parents thought he was dead, they wouldn’t look.” 

“Merlin, what sort of kid is he?” Remus blinked at his friend. 

“A smart one,” Sirius replied with a faint of a smile, despite the fact that he’d been avoiding his brother the entire night. “But there are tons of books filled with the family trees. I don’t know what we can do about that.”

“Hey, I’ve got an idea,” James spoke up, looking to Alexia nervously. “But… you won’t approve, and our parents would kill us.” 

“Jamie,  _ no _ ,” she frowned at him, already aware of his idea, as she’d had it herself at the same time. “We can’t!” 

“Lex, what else can we do?” 

“Ask our parents for help? And Dumbledore, god forbid.” 

“And what can they do? It’s the best idea we’ve got!” 

“Care to share with the class?” Remus asked dryly. The twins flushed and looked to their friends. 

“ _ James _ thinks it would be a good idea-,”

“I never said it was a good idea!” 

“To break into the homes that hold the family trees I’m on to steal and/or burn them all.” Sirius and Remus exchanged a glance, and she threw her hands up. “I’m serious! We can’t do that!”

“No, kitten, I’m Sirius,” the boy joked, earning himself a glare. 

“No, but James has a point,” Remus told her, raising an eyebrow when she glared at him. Of all of them, Remus was least afraid of the girl. Her attempts to intimidate him got her nowhere. “Everyone is here tonight, so if we go now, we can get them all before they get home.” 

“Guys, breaking and entering!” 

“We don’t have to do the breaking part,” Sirius reminded her. 

“And you can handle the wards,” James added. Alexia frowned at him. 

“Jamie, you need to be a ward breaker to get past complex wards.” 

“Yeah, but you know tons of stuff. You can’t tell me you don’t know how.” 

Alexia thought back to the day the summer before they’d left when she’d confided in Bill about their plans and he’d spent whatever extra time he had up until his wedding teaching her how to break down the most complex warding. It wasn’t her best subject but doubled with her knowledge of runes, she was pretty good. “Okay, possibly. A friend spent a summer teaching me.” 

“Your friend sounds cool,” Sirius grinned. “Let’s go!” 

“No!” she shouted, smacking him. “We’re not doing this!” 

“Alex,” Remus touched her arm, grabbing her attention. “I know it’s a bad idea, we all do, but we have to do something. They might be suspicious now but if we fix it, they have nothing to go off of. They might forget. We don’t even have to burn them, we can just use magic to change what they say, okay? I think what I want to know is how they noticed, to begin with. Don’t people only look at those when someone new is born?” 

“Sure, or when a random girl pops up in one of the most powerful pureblood families,” Sirius added. “We should’ve seen this coming.” 

“Probably,” Alexia allowed. “I’ve been distracted. I got there and barely two hours later Dumbledore took me here. It’s been a rush, and honestly, I haven’t been the best at concealing everything about myself.” 

“Yeah,” James snorted, rolling his eyes. “Like the snake earlier?” 

“That was a bad judgment call,” Alexia defended. 

“What happened earlier?” Sirius wondered. 

“She won’t tell us exactly,” Remus shot a look at James. Alexia had specifically requested they not tell Sirius. “But apparently she asked Lucius to look at a memory to help her identify someone and he saw… more than she meant for him to see.” 

“Lexi!” Sirius gaped at her. “What was it?”

“It’s not important,” she let out a huff. “Fine! Fine, but we have to go now. It takes some time to dismantle wards in a way that wouldn’t be noticed, and we don’t know what wards I’ll need to take down.” 

“Really?” James grinned at her, excited. “Yes!” 

“Shush,” she rolled her eyes, moving out of the kitchen and up the stairs as her friends followed her. They moved into her bedroom and she grabbed her beaded bag and wand and looked to Sirius. “Who would have the trees?” 

“My parents, the Malfoys. The Potters, obviously. Oh, maybe the Weasleys and the Prewetts.” 

“Wait, what?” Alexia stared at her brother. “Are you sure?” 

“Yeah?” he looked at her in confusion. “The Prewetts and Weasleys are old pureblood families. We’re probably distantly related to them somehow. Why?” 

“Ah, nothing,” she sighed. “So, where do we have to go?”

“Well, we don’t have to worry about the Potters,” Sirius said. “I guess we’ll have to stop by Grimmauld Place… ah, after that, we should get to Malfoy Manor, and that might take awhile- Lexi?” 

She’d gone pale, her eyes wide as she considered the prospect of going back to the place she still had nightmares about. “Huh?” 

“Lex, what’s wrong?” James asked. She looked between her friends, unsure what to say. Since they didn’t know she was from the future, she didn’t think she could say anything, which also meant that she had no way to explain how uncomfortable she was. 

“Nothing,” she shook her head, forcing herself to relax. “What next?” 

“The Prewetts and then the Weasleys,” Sirius finished, still eyeing his friend. 

“We should go,” she told them. “I’m going to go let mum and dad know what we’re doing.” 

“What?” James looked at her with wide eyes. “No! You can’t!” 

“Jamie, chill,” she let out a short laugh. “They know everything. Dumbledore told them before asking them to take me in.” 

“They do?” his mouth opened in shock. 

“Yep,” she answered, popping the ‘p’. “I’ll be right back and we can apparate there.” 

“How will you know where to go?” Remus asked, and she paused. 

“Ah. I can’t really… tell you that. The only one I don’t know is the Prewett’s.” 

“Your secrets are tiring,” Sirius sighed, though he winked at her. “Hurry up, kitten. We need to do this as quick as possible. We only have a few more hours before midnight.” 

Alexia rushed out of the room and made her way into the ballroom where she spotted her parents speaking with a tall man she couldn’t recognize and…

“Oh, Lexi,” Dorea smiled, wrapping her arm around her daughter. “Have you met Cygnus Black and his daughter, Bellatrix?”

“Just the girl we were speaking about,” Cygnus said, his piercing stare on Alexia. She forced herself to smile at the man. 

“Oh?” 

“We were just telling him how close you and James are,” Charlus confirmed, looking down at her with worry on his face. “Are you okay, sweetheart?” 

“Yes, of course,” she looked up at her parents. “Can I borrow you both for a minute?” 

“We’ll be right back,” Dorea assured Cygnus before leading Alexia to a quieter area. “What’s wrong, darling?”

“It’s the family trees,” she told them. “Narcissa told Sirius that they’re here to investigate me, so we’re going to… Merlin, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but we’re going to break into a bunch of pureblood homes and like… edit them. I don’t know. Sirius knows the spell.”

Her parents exchanged a look before Charlus spoke. “We trust you, Alexia. But can you ensure that your brother and friends are safe, too?” 

She nodded with certainty. “I can.” 

“And the wards?” Dorea asked her. “They can be very complicated, they’re meant to be.” 

“I spent some time studying under a Gringott’s curse breaker,” she promised. “We can do this. Besides, there’s not much else we can do and there won’t be an opportunity like this for a long time.” 

“Okay,” Dorea nodded firmly. “Let us know if you get in trouble, alright?” 

“Yes, mum,” Alexia stood on her toes and kissed Dorea’s cheek and then Charlus’s before rushing back out of the ballroom to meet her friends in her room. “Okay, ready?” 

“Yeah,” James sighed, shoving his wand in his back pocket. 

“Sirius, you said we’re going to Grimmauld Place first, right?” 

“Unfortunately.” 

“Okay,” she looked to her friends. “I can’t side-along more than two people at a time, so I’ll take Sirius and Remus and come back for you, Jamie.” 

“Why do I go last?” he whined. 

“Because you’re distracting and I’d rather not splinch anyone,” she shot back as she grabbed Sirius and Remus’s hands. She thought about the steps of Grimmauld Place and took them there, wincing at the sight of the place. She hadn’t been back since they’d hidden out there and they’d left to get the locket. They’d tried to return but with a Death Eater grabbing onto them, they had to leave again as soon as they arrived. After dropping her friends off, she went back for her brother and apparated back to the steps, where she found Sirius staring at the door in disdain. 

“Let’s go, Sirius,” James said, patting his friend’s shoulder. Remus opened the door, which wasn’t locked because of the wards, and stepped inside. Alexia looked around in wonder at the brown and green walls. 

“Oh my god,” she muttered as she followed Sirius into a room she’d seen his future self and Harry talking in. “This is… not as dark as I expected.” 

“Father refused to let Walburga decorate,” Sirius explained, and it did really make sense to her. After Orion had died, Walburga must’ve redecorated. “It’s in here…” 

The group of kids entered the room and Alexia looked at the elaborate wallpaper that had the family tree all over it. 

“Hey, Lex,” James called, tapping the Potter line that was attached to Dorea. “You’re here.” 

She walked over to look at it and stifled a gasp at the sight of her true birthdate. Luckily, James hadn’t seen, so she charmed the area black to match the space next to it before he could notice. “Sirius, how do these work?” 

“This one updates automatically,” he told her, pausing from his search through the books to find the one that held the Potters. “Someone is born - or adopted in your case - and their names and birthdates are added. But what we’re looking for here is the books… ah, here we go. Looks like my parents were looking at it, too.” 

Alexia looked at the wallpaper, her nerves hitching. “I see.” 

“You okay, Lex?” James asked, touching her arm lightly. At her nod, he turned away, not believing her at all. 

“Oh, here you are,” Sirius nodded before freezing. “Wait, Lexi-,”

“Let’s get this over with,” she interrupted him. Their eyes met and she stared him down for a long second before he nodded once, a threat in his eyes of questions to come. He cast the spell, and she sagged with relief. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he replied with another glance as he shoved the book back on the shelf with the others. 

“Where next?” Remus wondered. Alexia steeled herself and grabbed Remus and James, the two closest to her, and silently sent them away before returning for Sirius, who took a step back when she grabbed for him. 

“What the fuck?” he asked her loudly. 

“Sirius, you can’t say anything,” she begged. “Please.” 

“Your birthdate is eight years from now, Lexi!” 

“I know!” she shouted back, moving closer to him. “Please, come on. We have to get this over with. We can talk about it later.” 

He looked at her for a long, intense minute before he nodded. “If you promise.” 

“I do,” she assured him, grabbing onto his hand. “Now come on.” 

When they appeared in Malfoy Manor, she felt her panic grow at the sight. It had been, unfortunately, the only room she’d been in and the only way she knew to slip past the wards. 

“Lex?” James asked. Remus looked at her in worry as well, but she just pushed past them. 

“Can we- can we just get out of here?” she asked, breathing quickly as she nearly ran from the drawing room. When her eyes fell on a familiar spot, she stopped in her tracks and felt her breath leave her. “Oh my god…”

“Alex,” Remus winced, grabbing his own chest as her intense emotions rushed into him. “Holy shit, Alex.” 

“Fuck, Lex, what’s wrong?” James asked her, touching her arm. She winced away and backed into Sirius, who grabbed ahold of her to steady her, but his touch startled her too and she stumbled back and fell to the ground.

“Alexia!” James ran to help her up, but she just stared at the ground as her memories raced through her. “Hey, come on. Let’s hurry up and go, okay?” 

“Leave,” she muttered, staring at the spot she’d stayed curled up in a ball for hours. “Leave.” 

“That’s right, kitten,” Sirius assured her. “Their books might be in the library. Let’s go find it. This looks like the drawing room, so it’s probably nearby.” 

“Leave,” she whispered again. James helped her to her feet and she let her friends guide her through the house until they reached the library, where Sirius rushed around until he found the book. He glanced at Alexia again upon seeing the date confirmed once more. Once he’d changed it, he made his way over to Alexia, where James was trying to carefully bring her back to reality. 

“Kitten, come on. We can go now, but you have to apparate us out. Just apparate us out and we don’t have to come back, okay?” 

She looked at him with wide, distant eyes and reached out. Unsure, he grabbed her hand and watched as she grabbed James’s as well. She managed to successfully apparate them out and go back for Remus. When they were all there, she looked better and seemed to relax at their surroundings. 

“Where are we?” Remus wondered. She gave a soft smile. 

“The Burrow,” she told them. “The Weasleys live here.”

“It’s nice,” Remus commented with a smile. 

“Let’s keep going,” Sirius suggested, walking in the door to look at the place. It was much cleaner and less cluttered than Alexia had ever seen it before. “There’s a bookshelf over here…” 

While Sirius looked, James touched Lexi’s arm. “Lex, what was that? Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, just… do you remember what I told you that first night? When I freaked out over going to school?” 

“Yeah, the… what was it? PTSD?” 

“You have PTSD?” Remus asked in surprise. She sighed and nodded. 

“I do. And it was triggered and… I’ll be okay. I just want to finish this.”

“Then I’ve got some good news,” Sirius told her, slipping a book back into the large bookcase. “Done here. Just the Prewetts now.”

“Yeah, and I’ll need to mess with their wards,” she told them. “I’m not sure how to get there either.”

“Oh, it’s not that far from here, I think,” James hummed. “We could probably walk.”

“Let’s go,” she said, leading them out of the house. She smiled once more at it before catching up with her friends. 

To her surprise, James was right. It was just before the Lovegood house, and she shivered at the sight. 

“Cold?” Sirius asked, handing over his jacket. She accepted it gratefully - she had been cold, though it hadn’t been the cause for her shivers. 

Once they were able to see the house, she grabbed a rock and threw it, noting where the wards destroyed it. She walked over and began drawing runes and activating them, slowly making an unnoticeable hole that they could walk through. The process took her nearly a half hour and when she was done, she breathed out in relief. “I’ve never done that before.”

“Wait, but you said your friend taught you,” James frowned at her. She shrugged. 

“I only had their wards to pick at and it was hard because I’d already been keyed in. But we’re in, that’s all that matters.”

Upon entering the house, she smiled softly at a portrait of Fabian and Gideon standing with Molly. 

“I wish there was an easier way to do this,” Sirius sighed, looking at the rooms. 

“Oh,” Alexia hummed, looking up. “ _ Accio _ family tree book.”

The book flew at her and Sirius caught it thankfully, flipping it open to the Potter page. She glanced over his shoulder and was startled to find that it really did have her birthdate down as September 19, 1979. He removed it quickly and she sent it back before looking at her friends. 

“We finished in an hour. Let’s get back, Mum and Dad will worry.”

“The sooner, the better,” Sirius told her with an eyebrow raised. She sighed and grabbed him. After two minutes, everyone was standing back in her bedroom. 

“Let’s go,” she told them, ducking out of the room before anyone could say anything. She felt Sirius rush after her and pull her into a different hallway, waiting until James and Remus passed them to speak.

“Alex, you have to explain.”

“Later, okay? After the ball. We can sneak out and go to the library to talk. Just… not now, okay?”

“Tell me, though,” he requested, making her pause. “Malfoy Manor. Was that where… the torture?”

She nodded shortly. “And I’ll tell you about it  _ later _ . I promise, Sirius.”

“You promise?”

She looked in his eyes. “Sirius, I will never promise you anything that I can’t keep. So yes, I promise.”

“Okay. Okay, let’s go.”

“Thank you.”

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Severus watched his friend walk into the ballroom looking absolutely sick. Sirius Black was behind her, his emotions carefully hidden behind a mask that was built for Slytherin. Still, James Potter wasn’t as subtle about looking to his sister in worry. 

“Whatcha doing?” Lily asked him, trying to figure out what he was looking at. 

“Alex is back,” he told her. “She brought her brother and friends as well.”

“I wonder what they’re up to,” Lily frowned. “Surely they wouldn’t prank at their parents' ball?”

“No, I don’t think that’s it,” he disagreed. “Who knows.”

“So you’re certain your mum won’t be home until tomorrow?”

“Or the day after,” he promised. “It’ll be okay. She said she wasn’t sure she’d be there to see me off.”

“Oh, wonderful,” Lily smiled before pausing. “Well, not wonderful. I’m sorry. It’s just that Lady Potter offered for us to stay here until we leave again.”

“Because I want to stay with James Potter.”

“You want to stay with me and Lexi,” Lily shot back. “What if she does that…  _ thing _ again and we’re not there to help her?”

“She promised she wouldn’t try it without me,” Severus reminded his redheaded friend. “And it’s called Animagus. She’d just found her form. Which is incredible, actually, for her age. She might be the youngest ever.”

“What is an animagus exactly?” Lily wondered. “I’ve never heard of it before.”

“Well, it’s an old charm that can be done in different ways, but I’d guess Alex went with meditation and runes. You can find your animagus and from then, with practice and guidance, you can shift from human to your animal. Obviously, hers is a fox. Professor McGonagall is a cat.”

“That’s amazing!” Lily grinned excitedly. “Can you help me learn?”

“I’ve only heard of it, Lils,” he told her with a laugh. “I can’t do it. Maybe she can teach you. Although you should know that I don’t think she’s doing it legally.”

“Legally?”

“You have to be registered,” he explained. “With the ministry. I doubt she did that.”

“Oh,” Lily breathed. “Oh no, is she going to get in trouble? Should we talk to her?”

“I doubt it,” Severus shrugged. “The ministry doesn’t like to act against the Sacred Twenty-Eight. She’ll be fine. But if it’ll make you feel better, I’ll bring it up next time we talk.”

“Wait, what’s the Sacred Twenty-Eight?”

Severus sighed and set down his drink to answer his friend. “It’s a group of the twenty-eight oldest and most powerful families in not only Britain but the world. They have family magic that they can call upon and have automatic seats on the Wizengamot. Alexia’s dad holds the Potter one.”

“That’s awful,” Lily looked at him with wide eyes. “They get to govern just because their families have strong magic?”

“It’s how it is, Lily. But for what it’s worth, the families really are very strong and powerful, both with magic and politics.”

“Okay, so who else is in this ridiculous club?”

“Club? It’s not- okay,” he shook his head, looking around the room. “Right. Lady Longbottom holds the Longbottom seat. Her husband died earlier this year.”

“Lady Longbottom… Frank’s mum?”

“That’s her. There’s also the Blacks, obviously. The Malfoys. The Weasleys, the Greengrasses, the Notts, and… oh, the Abbots, the Travers… the list goes on, Lils. Some of them have lost their seat and money, like the Weasleys, but most remain powerful.”

“That doesn’t seem fair,” she said stubbornly. “How can they lose their seat if they’re so powerful?”

“Ah,” Severus rolled his eyes. “I believe the last Lord Weasley gambled his away and then began ranting about how much he hated the system when he lost. The seat was given to Gibbon, and once he passed, it went back to the Ministry appointed officials.”

“This is ridiculous.”

“Politics are rarely anything but.”

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Sirius stood with Peter again, watching Alexia flit around the room nervously. She had a good enough mask hiding it, but he saw the tension in her shoulders and the anxiety in her eyes. She was standing with Andromeda talking quietly when he saw Bellatrix come to a stop next to them. Alexia froze in her spot, and Sirius’s stomach did flips at the sight of her fists clenching until her knuckles turned white. 

Without a word to Peter, who was speaking to a Ravenclaw girl, he rushed over to put an arm around his friend. “Cousins. I see you’ve met Lexi.”

“She’s very interesting,” Andromeda smiled kindly. “She was telling me about this muggle repelling charm she learned.”

“Wish we could repel muggleborns as well,” Bellatrix joked. Alexia bit her lip hard as she stared at her feet. “What? Can the girl talk or is she mute?”

“Okay, we’re gonna go,” Sirius told them. “Lovely seeing you, Dromeda. Bella… go to hell.”

He pushed her quickly out of the ballroom and into the locked sitting room across the floor. Once he deposited her on a couch, he locked the door again and sat next to her. “Lexi, take a deep breath. It’s alright.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered through labored breaths. “I saw her earlier and I got away but now- now Andromeda introduced us and she was just… there and I couldn’t do it.”

“Hey, she doesn’t know you,” Sirius reminded her. “You’re just another pureblood to her. It’s okay.”

“But it’s  _ not _ ,” she insisted. “I was at Malfoy Manor and- and that was the only room I was ever in and I  _ had _ to drop us there but then I just kept seeing it, Sirius… oh god…”

“Come on, kitten, breathe,” he told her as he rubbed her back. “Look around. Yesterday you were sitting in that chair talking to your dad, yeah? What were you talking about, huh?"

“Sirius, I don’t-,”

“Just tell me,” he requested gently. “What was it?”

“We were talking about the new minister,” she replied quickly. “Bagnold.”

“Great, that’s wonderful. And what do you think of him?”

“Her,” she corrected, making him smile a bit. “I think she’s cruel and will make terrible, terrible mistakes.”

“Good, good. Tell me why.”

“Well… she’s trying to change ‘being’ and ‘creature’ to become the same department, which would deny rights to werewolves, vampires, and even Veela. They couldn’t get benefits or healthcare or even be allowed to live among other people. It’s absolutely despicable.”

Sirius grinned at her. “It is. There you go. How do you feel?”

“Better,” she confirmed, though she looked confused. “How did you do that?”

“Oh, it’s how I used to call Regulus down after a nightmare,” he told her. “Just get him talking about something he feels strongly about.”

“Thanks,” she smiled softly. 

“I’m not going to ask,” he told her after a minute of silence. “And we don’t have to talk about it tonight if you’re not up for it.”

She considered him for a long moment before sighing. “No. Let’s talk about it now. The party is almost over. Everyone should be distracted by the fireworks. Just… ask me whatever you want.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay…” he let out a breath. “So you’re from the future.”

She laughed. “Yes, I am. I’m from 1998. As I said, I was nineteen.”

“And when you left, you were at Malfoy Manor?”

“Um, no, actually,” she sighed. “There was a war, Sirius. When I left, we’d ended it barely an hour before. We won.”

“That’s why you were hurt,” he realized. She nodded. “How bad was it?”

“Uh,” she frowned. “Not that bad. I healed some of my injuries as I went through the battle but truthfully I had a mission to take care of so I stayed out of the fight for the most part.”

Sirius, showing his age, asked a question that she actually rolled her eyes at, though she did wince. “Did you kill anyone?”

“Sirius, it was war. We all killed. I was lucky to only have lost a few people. Do you remember how I said Greyback killed my friend?” Sirius nodded with wide eyes. “That happened during that battle.”

“I’m sorry,” he told her, beginning to understand how insensitive his question was. Truthfully, purebloods were much more mature than the average eleven-year-old, but even Sirius still thought war was cool. 

“It’s okay. What else?”

“Okay, uh… Bellatrix?”

She winced but held her hand up when he went to take it back. “Bellatrix was one of the ones that tortured me in Malfoy Manor. She’s the only one I remembered up until recently. She… used a cursed blade and left me a nasty scar.”

“My  _ cousin tortured you _ ?” He asked loudly, shooting to his feet in fury, pacing in front of her. “I knew she was a bitch but… what the fuck, Lexi? Did she get arrested?”

“No. It was war,” she told him tiredly. “She thought I had something that was hers and was important to ending the war. Apparently, that warranted countless hours of torture and a scar I’ll never be able to rid myself of.”

“What scar did she give you?” He asked, his voice soft as if he were afraid of her answer. She shook her head firmly. 

“That’s not something you want to see,” she told him. “Ever. No one needs to see it.”

“Kitten, come on. It’s just me.”

“Yes. And you love me and you’ll try to kill your cousin if you see it.”

“Come on, it’s not like she wrote mudblood on your arm-,” he cut off when she stared at him blankly. “Oh my god!” 

“Calm down!” She held her hands out. “Calm down, okay?”

“Let me see it,” he requested. She shook her head and he nodded vigorously. “Let me see it!”

“What good would it do?” She asked him seriously. “You already know it’s there and you know how I got it. If you see it, it’ll just make you angrier.”

“Lexi,” he said seriously. “I’m imagining it right now and it can’t be worse than I’m imagining.”

She let out a sigh and pushed up the sleeve of her dress to reveal the ugly, jagged word that had been carved into her arm. Sirius stared at it silently, and she was surprised to see tears in his eyes. “Sirius?”

He said nothing but reached out to touch it. As much as she hated herself for it, the touch felt nice. She let him touch it for a few minutes before he spoke again. “I’m so sorry."

“Sirius,” she let out a small laugh. “You shouldn’t be sorry. Knowing you helped me get through it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “For the first week after, I kept thinking of the times you and I talked. The thought of your anger actually made me feel better.”

“So we knew each other?”

She smiled softly. “We did. You were my best friend’s godfather. We stayed with you for a summer and I wrote to you while I was at school. Yeah, you told me to dump my boyfriend because he couldn’t say my name.”

Sirius let out a laugh. “You dated someone that couldn’t say your name?”

“He was lovely! He spoke English beautifully for it not being his first language.” She defended, though she did laugh. “But you spoke with me. When I was afraid of the war, everyone else was too busy for me. You told me I’d be okay and you distracted me by talking about runes and muggle bands and stories from when you were a kid. You were a friend when I really needed one.”

He smiled brightly at her. “Sounds like you had a crush on me.”

She flushed brightly. It was true, but he didn’t need to know that. “I did not!”

“How long have you known me for?”

“Oh,” she breathed. It was an innocent question, but all she could think about was how long she  _ knew _ him, which reminded her only of the day she watched him die. Staring at the boy in front of her, she felt sick. He was her best friend and she couldn’t imagine a life without him anymore. “Oh, um… we met in my third year. So… seven- seven years, I guess. Wow.”

He frowned. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, um… yeah, just… memories.”

“What is it?”

“I can’t- Sirius, I can't tell you about your personal future, and this is it. I don’t want to risk… I don’t want to...” she paused. Did she? Normally she didn’t want to risk changing the future, but with Sirius… she couldn’t let him die. 

“Lexi?”

“Sirius, if I told you something, something important, would you take an Unbreakable Vow that you’ll avoid it?”

“Woah,” he stared at her with wide eyes. “What could be so important that I’d risk my life?”

Alex hesitated. “Your death.”

“Oh, shit,” he breathed. “Holy shit, Alex, I died?”

She nodded quietly, holding back tears as the sight of him dying played over and over in her mind. “I’m sorry. I was there, I- I watched it. It was horrible.”

“How did I die?” He questioned, his voice soft as if he were afraid. In her opinion, he had every right to be scared. 

“There was a fight in the Department of Mysteries,” she sighed. “In my fifth year. You showed up to help us with some friends and Bellatrix killed you. I tried to help, I promise, but Dolohov was holding me so tight and… I’m sorry.”

“You want me to swear not to go,” he realized. She nodded quickly and he sighed. She could tell he wanted to agree. “What about time? What will happen?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “But I don’t want to watch you die. I don’t want to go back and you not be there. Sirius, please.”

He nodded, and she sagged in relief. “Okay, okay. But we have to have someone else help us with the Vow, Lexi. Does anyone else know?” 

“No one that would approve of this. Although…” she paused. “Lucius kind of knows.” 

“Oh, the  _ snake _ ? Really?” 

“Hey, it was an accident!” she assured him quickly. “The point is, he knows. He can help.”

“Yeah, okay. I’ll go get him.” 

“What? No,” she scowled at him. “You make a face at him every time he’s around. I’ll get him. I’ll be right back.” 

She turned to walk out and as she unlocked the door, Sirius grabbed her arm. “Kitten, wait.” 

“Huh?” 

“Your arm.” 

She winced at the sight of her scar and pulled her sleeve back down before slipping away. When she reached the ballroom, she found it empty with the doors to the large garden open. There was a warming spell on the area and there were blankets all over the place. The fireworks had begun already and the light helped her navigate until she found Lucius sitting with Severus. “Hey, Lucius, I need some help.” 

“Is something wrong?” Severus asked her. 

“No, no,” she shook her head with a smile. “I just need him for a moment.” 

“Hurry up,” her friend told her with a small smile. “It’s almost midnight.” 

She nodded quickly and led a quiet Lucius back to the room where Sirius was waiting. Once inside, she locked the door and warded it from eavesdroppers. 

“Alexia, is everything alright?” he asked her, glancing between her and Sirius. 

“Yeah, um,” she bit her lip. “You know those things you saw earlier?” 

“Yes.” 

“ _ Well _ , do you remember one memory where you and I fought a little and then Dolohov grabbed me and-,”

“I do,” he confirmed, his eyes flicking over to Sirius. “Are you sure we should discuss this here?” 

“No, yeah, don’t worry. I told him.” 

“Alexia,” he stared at her in shock. “ _ Why _ ?”

“Because I’m going to make sure it doesn’t happen,” she explained. 

“You can’t,” he told her. “We didn’t discuss it but I assumed you knew how time travel works.” 

“At this point in time, no one knows how it works,” she argued. “And it doesn’t matter. I have to try, Lucius.” 

“What exactly do you need me for?”

“I was hoping you’d oversee the… Vow he promised to take.” 

The look he gave her did not give her hope that he’d do it. 

“Alexia, he is eleven years old!” 

“So am I!” 

“No, not really,” he reminded her. “You’re an adult, regardless of what you look like now. You have memories and learned lessons that he hasn’t yet. Vows aren’t supposed to be made between minors anyway. It’s too dangerous.” 

“Lucius, please,” she begged him. “I need him to live. There’s so much I’d change about my life but this… please help me.” 

“You don’t even know it’ll work.” 

“But it’s worth trying.” 

“Fine,” he sighed, shaking his head. “Have you written your Vow?” 

“I thought it up while I was getting you,” she confirmed. “Sirius, come here.” 

Sirius moved over and Lucius pulled out his wand and touched it to both of their hands once they held one another’s forearms. “Go ahead, Alexia.” 

“Sirius Orion Black, do you swear not to look away from your fight with Bellatrix Lestrange on the 18th of June in 1996?” 

“I do.” 

“Do you swear not to die?” 

Sirius held back a laugh at the ridiculous question. “I do.” 

Alexia nodded at Lucius, and he muttered the words to confirm the Vow. With that done, tendrils of white flames sunk into both of their arms. They both winced and pulled up their sleeves to see a long black line each running down their forearms. 

“Cool! It’s like a tattoo!” 

Alexia rolled her eyes. “Thank you, Lucius.” 

“I still do not approve.” 

“I’ll keep it in mind,” she laughed. “Really, thank you.” 

He dipped his head in a nod and looked between them. “May I go?” 

“Oh, yes,” she blinked, waving away her wards. “Sorry.” 

“I’ll see you in school, Alexia.” 

She offered him a smile and relaxed when he closed the door behind him. “Thank you, Sirius. This is- this is something.” 

He nodded, staring down at his arm. “So did you know all of us?” 

“Huh?” 

“You know, James, Remus, Peter.” 

“Ah,” she frowned. “Yeah, um, Remus was actually my teacher third year. He was the best DADA teacher I had. James was actually my best friend’s dad - no, I can’t tell you who his mom was - and Peter… we met once.”

Sirius grinned at her, eyes wide. “You said I was your best friend’s godfather! James is gonna make me godfather?”

“Yes, but you’re eleven, so I wouldn’t expect him to ask soon,” she replied dryly. 

He went to reply but stopped as his eye caught the clock over the door. “It’s midnight.”

Alexia smiled at him and kissed his cheek. “Thanks for this, Sirius.” She touched his shoulder and left the room, leaving him with a weird tingle on his cheek and a tug somewhere deep inside of him that confused and concerned him. 

OoOoOoOoOoOo


	8. Poisonous Vibration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My guess: Animagus stuff? Honestly not sure about this one. It feels a bit like a filler, I think.

**Chapter Eight**

_ This is the sound we make when in between two places _

_ Where we used to bleed and where our blood needs to be. _

**January 3rd, 1992**

School returned two days later and found most students extremely busy with the mountain of homework they were given. Some students, however, spent their time studying under the Prewett twins and doing homework for those classes instead of their academic classes. 

“Look, it’s not just about the pranks,” Gideon told them seriously. “It’s about who is receiving the prank, the intention of the prank, and who is delivering it.”

“We often only pull pranks when the school needs a cheer up,” Fabian nodded along. “Mostly harmless things. The big stuff we save for friends or enemies.”

“Oh, like what?” Peter asked, eyes wide with anticipation. 

“Now that’s not our lesson today, Pete,” Gideon stood, looking to Alexia. “She’s a girl. Who can tell me what she’s thinking or feeling right now?”

“She’s tired,” Remus said. 

“Because she hasn’t been sleeping,” James continued with a frown. “Lex, I thought you said you’re fine.”

“I am. Leave me alone,” she snapped, making a face at him. She’d been increasingly irritable since New Year’s Eve and her nightmares were almost worse than ever. 

“Oh, I know this one!” Sirius laughed. “Now she’s annoyed- oh wait, she’s just mad now.”

“Yeah,” Remus agreed. “So shut up.”

“Well, Pip, if you haven’t been sleeping, we could help out,” Fabian told her. She raised an eyebrow. 

“The last time I let two pranking twins mess with me, a box punched me and gave me a permanent black eye.”

“Woah,” Peter looked to her with wide eyes. “How did they do that?”

“Pete, remember how we talked about self-preservation?” James asked, patting his friend on the back. “Let’s just back away from her for now, okay?”

“You know what, maybe I’ll sit this one out,” she suggested. “I’m not in the mood. Someone take notes for me.”

“You got it, kitten,” Sirius smiled to her as she left the room. The two had been spending more time together since New Year’s and their friends had begun to notice. 

“What is with you two lately?” James wondered. “You’re inseparable and I’m her twin!”

“Nothing,” Sirius rolled his eyes. “I can’t read her mind like you or Remus do.”

“Technically I just read her emotions,” the werewolf cut in. “Really James, I haven’t noticed anything.”

“Does it count for nothing that I’m her twin? I notice these things!”

“Are you four planning on listening or are we all taking the day off?” Fabian asked as he laughed at the group. 

“We’re listening.”

“Definitely.”

“Of course we are.”

“I don’t know, I’m a little tired.”

“Pete!”

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Alexia sat on her bed with the curtains drawn and her legs crossed. She might not be able to sleep, but she could meditate and focus on becoming more familiar with her fox form. She had done so every night and she felt more in tune with the furry creature. 

The door opened and slammed shut so suddenly that she let out a screech and sank into her fox form, jumping off the bed. 

“Oh my god!” Lily shouted, running back from Alexia. “God, Lexi, don’t do that!” 

She let out a hiss as she tried to change back, but the panic that had led her to shift hadn’t dissipated yet. 

“Lexi,” Lily sighed, walking slowly over. “You told Sev you wouldn’t do this without him again. What if you get stuck again? Can you change back right now?” 

At Alexia’s reluctant shake of her head, Lily nodded. 

“Okay, let’s go. I’ll grab my tote and take you to Severus.” 

She shook her head quicker, but Lily was already on the move. She let out a yelp, which sounded much higher as a fox, and tumbled into the bag Lily stuffed her into. She was jostled and she tried her best to dig her way up to the top of the bag, but Lily pressed it closed with her elbow as she walked - or ran. It stopped suddenly, and she squealed as a hand pressed hard into her. Lily opened the bag and she poked her head up, desperate for air and caught sight of a startled and somewhat angry Severus.

“Alexia,” he glared at her as he pulled Lily into a nearby classroom. “You promised me. And she can’t turn back?”

“Nope,” Lily confirmed. “She’s a bit cranky, too.”

Lexi yipped at them angrily and jumped from the bag onto a desk. 

“I can see that,” he agreed, getting on his knees to look at her. “Do you remember how we did it before? Think about your hair. You know how it feels against your skin. Think about when you hold someone’s hand. How warm is that? What about when you laugh? Where do you feel it? Your chest? Your stomach? Come on, Alex, you can do it.”

After a long minute of stubbornly considering not shifting back, she focused as he asked and found herself falling off a desk, this time human. Neither of her friends helped her up.

“Alex you can’t do that!” Lily yelled at her. “It’s dangerous!”

“I was  _ fine _ until you stomped into the room and slammed the door,” she shot back. “You startled me.”

“Alexia,” Severus narrowed his eyes at her. “You promised.”

At those words, nearly all of her anger dissipated. “I know. I’m sorry. I just haven’t been sleeping and meditating helps me calm down.”

“Why aren’t you sleeping?”

She shrugged. “Insomnia.”

“My mum has that,” Lily spoke up. “Hers is almost as bad as Lexi’s.” 

“Well, you should try the timeless sleep spell.”

Alex exchanged a look with Lily. “The what?”

“It’s like the dreamless sleep spell,” he explained. “But it forces your body to sleep and wakes you up at a certain time. You have to cast it with  _ Tempus _ but it works really well. Mother used to use it when I couldn’t sleep.”

“I’ll look into it,” Alex agreed, looking toward the door. “I’m going to-,”

“No,” he interrupted her with a frown. “You’re going to swear you won’t do that without someone around again until you get it down perfectly.”

“Sev-,”

“Alex,” he stared at her. “That’s twice now. What if someone else startles you and they report you to the ministry? You could go to Azkaban.” 

They both knew it wasn’t true, but he had a point. She didn’t want too many people knowing what she could do. “Fine. Fine, I’ll come to you. Can we do it a few times a week?” 

“If you find a private place,” he agreed easily. 

“I’ll stay away from that, thanks,” Lily let out a short laugh. “This entire thing freaks me out.” 

“I know a room,” she told him. “Tomorrow night?” 

“Yes,” he agreed with a firm nod. “After classes.” 

“Thank you.” 

“Anything to keep you from doing it alone again.” 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

**February 11th, 1971**

“Professor?” 

Dumbledore smiled at her, his eyes twinkling as they always did. “Miss Potter. Sit, sit. Would you like a sugar quill? I was given some but I find I don’t like them much.”

Alexia took one from the old man and placed it in her pocket, waiting. She was in a bad mood again after Sirius and James had pranked Severus. She’d yelled at them and had gotten in a big fight. They still hadn’t spoken, and it had been three days. 

“Well, I just wanted to see how you’re settling in,” he explained, his twinkle never fading. The thing infuriated her and it took everything in her not to snap at him. 

“It’s fine,” she agreed. 

“You’ve bonded well with your family and friends,” he prompted, and she sighed, giving him a nod. 

“I have. I have a familial bond with the Potters and a twin bond with James. Beyond that, Remus views me as pack as well as our friends. Things are going well.” 

“And has your secret gotten out?” 

She pursed her lips. “To two people, but I trust them both completely.” 

“And who happened upon this secret?” 

“Sirius,” she began before hesitating. She knew Dumbledore had always hated Slytherins and tended to believe in the prejudice against them. “And Lucius Malfoy. I trust them both, Professor.”

“Are you sure it is wise that they know?” 

“It wasn’t on purpose either time,” she defended. “The family tree books had my true birthdate, which meant that Sirius saw them when we went to change it all. As for Lucius… it was not a well thought out idea, I’ll admit. I recovered a memory from the final battle where someone I fought called me Alexia. It turns out he’s been in every serious battle I’ve ever been in. He’s cursed and tried to kill me multiple times. He nearly did once. And Lucius says he’s a second year right now.”

“Who might that be?” 

“Antonin Dolohov.” 

Dumbledore frowned. “I see. We shall keep an eye on him. Tell Professor McGonagall or I if he does anything.” 

“Professor,” she said slowly, thinking. “What do you believe about time? Do you think it’s possible to change it?” 

“I do not,” he admitted. “I believe that your presence here only happened because it was meant to happen- because it already happened for you.” 

“But I never heard of Alexia Potter,” she argued lightly. “And neither did my best friend, and he was James’s son. So, how can we be sure that this isn’t all new? That I’m not changing time by being here?” 

“We cannot be sure. Not until you go back to your own time. Are you prepared for the possibility that things have changed?” 

“It just… concerns me. Because the man that sent me back here, he obviously knew I had been here. So I suppose that’s evidence that this was meant to happen. But then again, that creates a time loop. How do you think time would handle a paradox, Professor?”

“May I ask why these questions come up now?” 

“I’m only telling you because there’s nothing you can do about it,” she said bluntly, rolling up the sleeve on her left arm to reveal a long black line. “Sirius took a Vow to avoid his death.” 

“Miss Potter,” Dumbledore’s eyes widened, staring at her arm. “You have no idea the potential effects of what you’ve done. What if it changes the world you left? What if you go back to your friends dead or the war still on?” 

She faltered for only a second before she shrugged. “We don’t know, Professor. And there’s nothing we can do about it now. Anything you do to try to fix this will result in changing time either way.” 

He looked at her for a long minute. His twinkle was gone, and she saw the man that had raised Harry to die and had only given them the information they needed at the last minute. The man that thought he knew best constantly and that was currently disappointed at having no options left to him. “I hope you’re prepared for what you go back to, Miss Potter.” 

“I look forward to it.” 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Sirius sat with his feet up on the coffee table and a bag of marshmallows in his lap, chewing on one as his friends did their homework. He tossed one at Pete, who was sitting on the floor across the room. “Hey, do you think I could fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth?” 

Remus’s head shot up and he looked at Sirius with dead eyes. “You’re a hazard to society.” 

James grinned at him. “And a coward. Do twenty.” 

Sirius let out a laugh and took up the challenge, stuffing one marshmallow into his mouth after another. He was at seven when the portrait slammed shut and Alexia stomped in, her hair sparking angrily as she moved. Sirius paused, exchanging a glance with James as she went to her dorm. 

“Are you two really never going to apologize?” Pete asked with a sigh. “It’s been a week.”

“She’s angry right now,” James defended. “You want us to talk to her while she’s angry?” 

“Yeah, maybe apologizing would help,” Remus spoke up. “Do you even know why she’s angry?” 

“No,” he admitted. “She’s been so closed off to me since our fight. It’s like she put a mental barrier up and I can’t reach her.” 

“So apologize,” Pete rolled his eyes. “This is ridiculous.” 

“I’m going to bed,” Remus sighed, getting to his feet. “The moon is in a couple days and I’m exhausted.”

They watched Remus hobble up the stairs in silence as James and Sirius considered their friends’ suggestions. After a few minutes, James turned back to his transfiguration, and Sirius let out a dramatic sigh. 

“I’ll be right back.” 

He got to his feet and made his way to the bottom of the girl’s dorm, where he promptly threw a nearby book at it. A minute later and Alex opened the door, looking annoyed. He put his hands up. “Can we talk?” 

She considered him for a moment before closing the door behind her and making her way down the stairs. She didn’t stop upon reaching him, and he chased after her as she walked out of the common room and slipped into an abandoned classroom nearby, where she stood and stared at him, waiting. 

“Lexi,” he sighed, running his fingers through his long hair. “I’m sorry. This is stupid.” 

“What are you sorry for? That you pranked Severus so cruelly that he had to go to the infirmary or that I’ve been mad at you for a week for it?” 

He seriously considered her question. “I’m sorry for hurting him because he’s your friend and I’m also sorry because you’ve been upset for a week and it’s my fault.” 

She nodded a little. “Okay. I accept your apology. Thank you, Sirius.” 

“Sorry it took so long,” he muttered, pulling her into a hug. She hugged him back, taking in a deep breath. “Hey, why were you so annoyed earlier?” 

She scowled. “Dumbledore called me to his office to talk about how I’ve been doing. He and I had a talk about time and the effects of your Vow. We… disagreed. I want to hit him.”

“Calm down, kitten,” Sirius looked at her. “He’s harmless. He might disapprove but there’s nothing he can do.” 

“Not about you, maybe,” she sighed. “But he can Obliviate Lucius.”

“He can’t Obliviate a minor,” Sirius stared at her. “That’s illegal.” 

“Sirius, he doesn’t fucking care,” Alexia snapped, turning around to pace. Her hair began to spark again as her nerves and irritation spiked. “You don’t know the things he’s done, or will do. The only reason he can’t touch you is because of your Vow. If he Obliviated you, the Vow would kill you. He wants to preserve time. I want to change it. I’m going to win, Sirius. I don’t give a fuck what he does, I’m going to save you.” 

“Hey, I know,” he grabbed her hand and pulling her into a hug. He stroked her hair as she breathed quietly. “I trust you, Lexi. But you’re putting too much stress on yourself. You don’t have to fight Dumbledore.” 

She pulled back to look him in the eyes. “I’ll fight Bellatrix if it means keeping you alive, Sirius.” 

Sirius looked at her for a long minute before he placed a kiss on her cheek. “You’re incredible.” 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Lily sat in the library with Severus and Alexia, reading the book on purebloods that Lady Potter had given her at Christmas while Severus studied and Alexia flipped angrily through a large, old book, many others piled up next to her. 

“Okay, I give. What are you doing?” she asked her friend when Alex raised her wand to the book. 

“I’m just trying to… fix something,” Alex muttered in response as she cast a spell that edited the book. Lily’s eyes widened in horror at the sight. 

“Alexia,” Lily snapped. “You can’t do that.” 

“Don’t worry,” she waved her off. “Dumbledore gave me permission.” 

“Aren’t all of these from the restricted section?” Severus asked, picking a book from the pile. “Genealogy for the Sacred Twenty-Eight?” 

“Mm, yeah,” she hummed, dropping the one she was holding back on the table in front of her. Severus picked it up and frowned. 

“Gaunt,” he read, flipping it open. “They died out years ago, Lexi. What is this about?” 

She sighed, staring at the Gaunt book. “I don’t know how much I can explain. I’m looking back through the families I’m related to and it keeps leading back to the Gaunts, but further than them…” 

“What?” 

She looked around before leaning into her friends. “Salazar Slytherin. Also, the Peverell brothers.” 

“Are you serious?” Severus looked at her in shock. 

“Wait, who are they?” Lily wondered. “I get Salazar Slytherin, but who are the Peverell brothers?” 

“Well, they’re widely considered to be a myth,” Alexia began. “Their story is actually the tale of the three brothers. I can’t say how much of it is true, but… I believe it to an extent. Anyway, Ignotus Peverell is a Potter ancestor. We actually have - don’t tell James I told you this - but we have his cloak of invisibility.” 

“Lexi, those are just children’s stories,” Severus argued. “It’s not real.” 

“Believe what you want, I don’t care,” she waved him off. “My point is, we’re related to Salazar Slytherin.” 

“That’s interesting and certainly incredible, but why is it important to you? You’re a Gryffindor,” Severus pointed out. 

“Yeah, I know,” she rolled her eyes. “Mum was a Slytherin. But aside from that, Salazar Slytherin was also related to the Gaunt family, much more closely than the Potters.”

“And why is that significant?” 

Lexi faltered. Voldemort had only just emerged after Christmas and there was no press coverage over it so far. There was no easy way to explain to her friends why it was important. The truth was that she wanted to find out if Harry was a parseltongue because of Voldemort or if it was because he was related to Slytherin himself. The issue with that, of course, was that it meant that Harry was related to Voldemort as well. 

The entire thing hurt her head, and she somewhat regretted looking through the books. Though there was another reason she was looking through them - she needed to edit her birthdate out of the books at Hogwarts, which she’d forgotten about until Lucius had brought it up to her, reminding her of the one he’d been reading before leaving for the train. 

“Well, the Gaunt family is actually interesting. There’s only one remaining member, and he doesn’t have the family name. His story is somewhat… depressing.” 

“What’s his story?” 

“His name is Tom Riddle,” she told them, shivering at the name. “His mother was Merope Gaunt. She had a brother named Morfin and a father named Marvolo. They were purebloods but Merope fell in love with a muggle. Thing is, he didn’t like her, so she gave him a love potion every day until they got married and she got pregnant. Her dad and brother hated her for it. When she got pregnant, she figured he had to love her so she stopped giving him the potions.” 

“Oh, no,” Severus sighed. 

“What?” Lily looked between them. 

“Well, love potion doesn’t produce true love,” Alexia explained. “That’s impossible. It’s actually a very despicable potion. Think of it this way. If you’re given a love potion, you don’t get to control your thoughts or emotions. The potion guides them.” 

“And she gave this to him and they… had sex?” Lily asked, disgusted and horrified. Alexia nodded firmly. 

“Awful, isn’t it? So she stopped giving him the potion and of course, he didn’t want her anymore. They got divorced and she ran away, having been turned away by her family. She ended up at an orphanage where she died giving birth to Tom Marvolo Riddle. He grew up there until Dumbledore got him from the orphanage. Honestly, he was an evil bastard, and he’s showed up again recently.” 

“How do you know all of this?” Severus wondered, flipping open the Gaunt book to look at where Salazar Slytherin’s line broke off between the Gaunts and the Potters. 

“Research,” she shrugged. “He’s actually… he reinvented himself as a man named Voldemort. Dad says the ministry is keeping an eye on him.” 

“What’s he doing?” Lily questioned, marking another question down on her homework. 

“He’s gathering followers, people that don’t like muggleborns or muggles,” she sighed. “He hates them. I don’t know much else, but Dad sounded worried. Like I said, he’s an evil bastard.” 

“That’s awful,” Lily stared at her in concern. 

“But wait, what are you doing to the books?” 

Alexia shrugged and picked up the Black book, the last one she had to edit. “Just a project for Dumbledore.”

“Do you ever do your homework?” Lily joked, trying to focus on her books. Lexi rolled her eyes and set back to work, humming quietly in contentment as she sat with her friends.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

**April 9th, 1972**

Sirius sat next to Lexi and James with Peter and Remus across from him. Remus was leaning his head against the back of the couch while everyone else was caught up in their own thing. Sirius himself was trying to balance his wand on his nose. When it sat there still, he let out a laugh. “Remus, look!” 

“Yes, Sirius, very nice.” 

Sirius scowled and dropped the wand into his hand. “That was extraordinary.” 

“What was?” 

“How you saw that magnificent act without even looking.” 

Remus turned to look at his friend as he rolled his eyes. “I’m looking, do it again.” 

As Sirius put the wand back on his nose, Lexi leaned her head on James’s shoulder quietly. “Jamie, are we going home for Easter?” 

“Mum wrote me saying we’re staying here with Sirius,” James sighed. “Dad’s got a bunch of work stuff and Mum has been working non-stop with the Wizengamot.” 

“No one stays for the holidays,” she whined. “It’s going to be so quiet. Remus, are you staying?” 

“Yep,” he sighed. “The moon is the day before Easter.” 

“I’m staying, too,” Pete spoke up. “My parents are on vacation in France.” 

“At least we’ll be together,” Sirius said, dropping his wand on his lap. 

“It won’t be that bad, Lex,” James assured her, intertwining their fingers. “Why don’t you try sleeping? You’re exhausted.”

“Am not.”

“Are too,” he rolled his eyes, shoving her gently off the couch. “Go sleep. We’re probably going to bed soon, too.”

“We are?” Pete asked. 

“We are,” James confirmed. “We’ve got things to do early tomorrow morning.”

“Things you haven’t told me about?” Lexi paused, looking between her friends and brother. “You’re not pranking Severus again, are you?”

“No,” James rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry about it, Lex.”

“Fine, but you’d better not do anything stupid.”

“Sure, kitten,” Sirius laughed. She let out a sigh and made her way up the stairs, ready for bed. 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

_ Hermione dashed behind a pillar of fallen rock as the curse hit it. She was being chased by Crabbe and Goyle, and Goyle had already hit her with a  _ crucio  _ once. They weren’t giving up, and she was trying to get to the Room of Requirement.  _

_ The two boys were gaining on her as her injuries shook her body. She tried to put up a shield but an  _ Avada  _ passed right through it, barely missing her. When she turned another corner, she was horrified to find herself at a path blocked by giant chunks of stone and broken glass. There was no way through.  _

_ “You don’t need to do this,” she tried to reason. “Just move on. You don’t have to fight for him. Voldemort will never value you.” _

_ “I don’t give a shit about that,” Goyle snarled, his wand pointed at her. “This is what I like. Don’t you remember?” _

_ She let out a scream as his  _ crucio  _ passed through her shields. She tried to send a curse back at him to stop it but she couldn’t move her hands. It lasted for maybe five minutes before it ended abruptly and when she managed to look up, she saw a head of platinum blonde hair dragging the two boys away from her.  _

Alexia shot up, gasping for breath and shaking violently in pain. The nightmare was hard to watch, not because she’d seen herself be tortured but because she’d been afraid of the boys for so long. She wondered for a moment why Draco had saved her from the two boys, but she shook the thought away, unwilling to dwell on the war more than necessary. 

Still shaking, she did the only thing she knew that would help calm her down. She crossed her legs and began meditating. Clearing her mind was possibly the hardest part of it. Once she finished pushing away the random thoughts and worries that plagued her, she could see her fox form. She’d truly come to love it. It was playful but also deadly serious, and it felt so much like her that she knew she’d made the right choice. 

Just as she was examining the form, a hint of her nightmare slipped into her mind and she gasped as she shrunk down into a fox. 

She sat there, irritated. She did understand why Severus wanted her to do it only with him, and she’d promised twice and broken the promise twice. She knew she couldn’t face him, so she jumped out of bed and ran out of her dorm and into the boys’ dorm, where she could see James sleeping peacefully. 

She jumped up into his bed and put a paw on his face to wake him. She realized it was a bad idea when he let out a scream and tumbled out of bed. 

Three wands lit up in response and Pete rushed to James to help him up, while James screeched about a furry thing in his bed. Sirius glanced over and blinked. 

“That’s a fox!”

Remus stared at her with narrow eyes, and she could see his wolf inside, looking at her through Remus. Her friend got out of bed and stepped over, holding a hand out to her. She nuzzled his hand and closed her eyes. 

“It’s Alexia.”

“I’m sorry,  _ what _ ?” James shouted. 

“Relax,” Remus sighed, picking Alexia up. “She’s obviously been working on becoming an animagus.”

“How can you tell it’s her?” Pete wondered cautiously. 

“First of all, she was in James’s bed. Second, I can feel her annoyance. And third, we have a pack bond. She’s my beta. And my wolf is going crazy right now.”

“Oh,” Sirius breathed out a sigh of relief as he made his way over. “Well change back!”

She growled and jumped from Remus’s arms to walk to James and nudge his leg. James’s eyes widened. “Oh, I don’t think she can.”

“What the hell are we supposed to do?” Peter gaped. “She can’t just be stuck like this!”

“I’d imagine that’s why she came to us,” Remus reasoned. “I personally don’t know how to help. Sirius, go get McGonagall.”

Alexia let out a sort of bark in protest and was swiftly ignored as Sirius put on his slippers and ran from the room. While he was gone, the remaining four piled onto James’s bed, where Alexia curled into Remus’s lap and listened to his heartbeat. 

Ten minutes later, Sirius returned with an irritated McGonagall. 

“Mister Black, tell me what’s going on right now or- oh,” she gasped. “Is that a- is that a fox?”

James nodded quickly. “It’s Alexia. She can’t turn back.”

“Well how did this happen?” She questioned as she moved over to them. 

“We don’t know,” James shrugged. “She just came and woke me up like this.”

“I think she’s been working on becoming an Animagus,” Remus explained. “My, uh, my wolf recognized her in this form before I did.”

“How?” McGonagall asked in surprise. 

“Well… she’s my beta, and so in her animal form, my wolf recognizes that,” Remus shifted, uncomfortable explaining himself. 

“Well, I’m afraid this is going to hurt,” the woman sighed. She pointed her wand at Alexia and cast a spell, which turned her back to her normal human self. She let out a cry of pain as she rolled off of Remus and into Sirius, who grabbed her to steady her. “Miss Potter, what were you thinking? This is extremely irresponsible, not to mention illegal.”

“Professor Dumbledore gave me permission,” she said immediately. She knew the man would back her up. 

“Well, regardless, this was reckless and dangerous. I may not be able to punish you for doing it but I can and will punish you for putting yourself at risk by doing it alone. A month of detention, twice a week. Wednesday and Friday.”

“Professor-,”

“No, I won’t hear it. You’ll help Professor Slughorn’s second years tutor your classmates.”

“Yes, Professor.”

“Now, the next time you do this, you will do it in my office.”

Alexia shook her head. “I was only doing it because I had a nightmare and needed to calm down. I can’t come every time I have a nightmare.”

“Then you will find something else to do after a nightmare,” the woman told her. “I will teach you a spell to help with those as well. Are we clear?”

“Yes, Professor.”

The boys watched as their head of house escorted Alexia back to her dorm. With them gone, Sirius grinned brightly. “We’re gonna become Animagi!”

Remus groaned. “Sirius, we just saw exactly why that’s a bad idea.”

“No, but Lexi used a method that takes longer,” he denied. “We can do one that doesn’t involve meditation. As soon as we can shift, we should be fine.”

“I kinda like the idea,” Peter agreed. 

James was quiet as he stared at Remus. “I agree. We’re going to do it.”

Remus sighed and went back to his bed, where he promptly ignored his friends for the rest of the night. 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

**April 21st, 1972**

Alexia stepped into the classroom and set her books down with a sigh. It wasn’t filled with students but rather trophies for potion making. The sight annoyed her. She didn’t mind tutoring students, but she did mind cleaning trophies. 

“Ah, Miss Potter,” Slughorn grinned as he stepped out of his office. “Looks like you’ll be joined in detention by Mister Malfoy once more.”

“Professor McGonagall said I’d be tutoring students,” she told him with a frown. 

“Ah, yes, but my study group filled up before she assigned the detentions. No matter. You’ll be shining my trophies and then you can do your homework. The things are on my desk. Mister Malfoy should be here any minute. If you’ll just tell him what I’ve told you.”

She nodded and watched as the man turned on his heel and closed his office door behind himself. She let out a sigh and set to work polishing the trophies. 

It was five minutes later when Lucius made his way into the room. Her gut churned. She’d avoided him as best as she could since Christmas break, but they were stuck together in detention for hours. Nothing good could come of that. 

“Alexia,” he greeted in surprise, setting his bag on a chair. 

“Hello,” she waved her rag at him. “We’re polishing his trophies. Which… there are a  _ lot _ . I didn’t even realize they gave trophies for potion making.”

“It’s a competitive craft,” Lucius nodded as he grabbed a trophy and supplies. The pair worked in silence for a long minute before she couldn’t take it anymore. 

“You’re really not going to ask.”

He looked up at her and paused his rhythmic motions. “I can’t imagine you want to talk about that.”

“I’d rather talk about it than avoid you for four months.”

“That was on you,” he reminded her. “I was content just to move on.”

“You must have questions.”

“Many,” he agreed. 

“So ask them,” she urged him, setting down her things to pay attention to the conversation. He considered her before he spoke slowly. 

“You are from the future.”

“Yes.”

“You are not eleven years old.”

“Yes.”

“Okay, begin there. How old are you really?”

“I was nineteen when I left. It’s complicated. This potion makes me  _ feel  _ eleven, but I’ve got all the memories of a nineteen year old.”

“Did you go to Hogwarts?”

“I did, for six years.”

“Not seven?”

Alexia shook her head. The question threw her off and she felt ridiculous for getting emotional at it. “There was a war. I was being hunted. School wasn’t safe anymore.”

“There was a war,” he repeated. “Sirius died.”

“Yes, that was before the war really broke out, but he was killed by the same people we fought,” she explained. “But I’m going to save him.”

“You already know I disapprove.”

“You already know I don’t care.”

He studied her. “So there was a war. We fought?”

“We did,” she agreed. “There were a few more fights than the one you saw but you never hurt me too bad. I also never managed to hit you. As much as you were my enemy, I respected you for how amazing of a duelist you were. Are. You’re not dead, I’m just… this stuff is confusing to talk about. I’m just glad Sirius hasn’t asked many questions. Mostly about whether or not he becomes a famous Quidditch player.”

“Who, of the people you know here, do you know in the future?”

“Lucius,” she bit her lip. “There’s things I can’t tell Sirius because they’re too close to him. I’m going to tell you these things.”

“Okay.”

“I didn’t know James or Lily, but they had a son, and he was my best friend. A brother. I met Peter once, but only as he ran away after being caught by Sirius and Remus because he betrayed James and Lily and got them killed. I met Sirius then too. Remus was my professor that year. Um… I knew you, but I mostly knew your… son. We, ah, went to school together. I knew of many people. Regulus Black, Marlene, Mary. There’s more. Um… I obviously knew Dolohov. There’s some others.”

“And we fought one another in this war.”

“We did.”

“Who won?”

The blunt question surprised her. “I did. Your leader died and you only left at the last moment with your family, but I did see you leave.”

Lucius hesitated. “How long?” His question was vague but she felt the subject shift and knew he was asking about Malfoy Manor. 

“I don’t know. I passed out a few times. Many hours. Seven maybe.”

“How did this happen? Arriving in the past?”

She scowled as she did every time she remembered. “Someone else I knew was Severus. He was my potions Professor for a long time and then he was the headmaster, but only after I left school. He was a- oh, I don’t think I should tell you that. Anyway, when the war was over, that bastard came and sent me back into time after telling me that  _ I  _ told him to do it.”

“And you’re angry with him for that.”

“Yes,” she agreed before frowning. “No. I don’t know. He’s an ass in the future.”

“What’s your plan? How long will you be here?”

“Until 1979,” she sighed. “I imagine I’ll leave before I’m born.”

He quieted down and she picked up her rag again and went back to polishing while he thought. He was just as calm as she expected, and she appreciated it. 

“Tell me about the war,” he requested. She looked at him in surprise. 

“No.”

“Alexia,” he said, a tone to his voice she’d never heard before. “I’d like to know what my future holds.”

“So would I.”

“Alexia… please.”

The word caught her off guard and she found herself nodding slowly. “It starts in a couple years and ends for thirteen years in 1981. It ends again on May 2nd, 1998, this time for good.”

“What is it about?”

“Bigotry. This man, Voldemort, hates muggles and muggleborns. Half bloods are barely okay, which is hilarious because  _ he _ is a half blood. He gathers followers like you and Sirius’s parents and even his brother. All the old, powerful, dark aligned families. He recruits all sorts. Giants, werewolves, acromantula, you name it. There are attacks and a lot of people die. A lot of good people. In my time, my best friends and I are at the center of the war. Everyone wants to kill my best friend and we’re just there to help keep him alive. There were attacks on so many families that I Obliviated my parents and sent them to Australia. They’ll never remember me. I had to keep them safe… I don’t even know if they’re actually safe. I never had time to check on them.”

He nodded a little as he processed her words. “How long did you fight for?”

“Oh, wow,” she breathed. “I guess it depends where you imagine the war starting. My friends and I fought Voldemort from our first year. He had been killed but was living as a shade, possessing our DADA teacher to try and get the philosopher’s stone. Second year- I can’t tell you that but they fought him again. I’d been petrified. Fourth year, he finally came back to life fully. Fifth year, we fought at the Department of Mysteries and Sirius… well, Harry fought Voldemort there afterwards. And sixth year his followers broke into Hogwarts and fought us. After that… we went on the run. Being chased. It only ended the day I was sent back here, and now I’m here again during his first rise to power… oh,” she sucked in a sharp breath as she began to realize the true possibility that she might fight in the war again. 

“You’ve fought your entire life,” he summed up. “You must be tired.”

“I… am,” she admitted. “The final battle was cruel and it still haunts me, but I thought, you know, I thought that was it. I was done.” He didn’t reply and she looked up to see more emotion on his face than he’d ever seen before. “Lucius?”

“I apologize,” he looked to her again. “I just cannot fathom fighting a war for someone so despicable, and I cannot imagine hurting you, much less watching you be tortured and doing nothing about it.”

She shifted, the words making her uncomfortable. “I don’t understand it either. You’re my friend.”

“Alexia,” he said, meeting her eyes. “I am very, very sorry.”

Alex tensed and shook her head firmly. “You don’t get to do that. I’m sorry, but you can’t feel guilt over something you haven’t done yet, and you also don’t get to offer me an apology when _you don’t know why_ _you did it_. It kills me to remember that you were there because I don’t understand. So don’t apologize until I get back. You can explain it to me then.”

“That’s over twenty years away,” he told her wide wide eyes. “Alexia-,”

“Please,” she whispered. “I can’t handle it. I’m trying to focus on the fact that you’re my friend and I care for you, but remembering seeing you there… I can’t do it.”

He sighed and dipped his head in agreement. “Dolohov and Bellatrix, have they been arrested in your time?”

She frowned. “Bellatrix was killed when she threatened my friend. Her mom got pissed and killed her. As for Dolohov, I’m not sure. I don’t remember seeing him at the end, and all the followers were gathered together across from us. I think he may have fled like you did.”

Lucius set aside another trophy and began working on the next one. “Tell me something good from your life.”

Lexi smiles at the request and thought about it. “My friend Ron has a big family and his two older brothers sort of see me as a sister. During the summer they and Sirius sat me down and tried to give me the sex talk."

Lucius let out a startled laugh. “Three people?”

She nodded quickly. “Apparently, a muggle sex talk is different. They taught me the spell and Sirius gave me the potion, and then they began essentially threatening to beat up any guy that ever hurt me. Which is funny, because they followed through.”

“They beat someone up for you?”

She grinned. “Just the brothers. They beat up their brother, my friend, for hurting my feelings when I had a crush on him.”

He smiled at her, laughter in his eyes. “Tell me something else.”

“Oh, okay. Well I spent the entire summer before fifth year reorganizing the library at Grimmauld Place with Sirius and Remus and we put all of the dark books in Walburga’s bedroom. There was one day when everyone else went to a friend’s house to clean and we snuck out to muggle London for ice cream… irresponsible, yes, but it was fun. Remus made Sirius take a polyjuice potion using a hair from a hairbrush… he ended up looking like his dead mother.” 

Lucius let out a laugh. “I’d love to see that.” 

Alexia nodded with a fond smile. She moved onto another story, and the pair got back to work. For the next few hours, they sat together while she told him of the good times in her life, and in return, he told her of the times he’d snuck out of Malfoy Manor during his lessons to wander muggle London. It was calming, and she was endlessly grateful to him for making the conversation easier. 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm bored out of my mind waiting for my mom to get her surgery since it got pushed back an hour or so. Brain is a bit slow on the writing front, so I thought I'd post another chapter. Honestly just want to get the entire thing up but I have to reformat the chapters every time I post one so it takes a while to post chapters, making random posting a bit difficult.


	9. Straight Chlorine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay I know this one, it's summer! There's a pool scene. Aside from that... yeah, I dunno, man.

**Chapter Nine**

_ Sippin’ on straight chlorine _

_ Let the vibe slide over me. _

**June 13th, 1972**

“Moony,” Sirius called, looking to the tired werewolf. “Remind me again why we’re not giving Lexi a nickname?” 

“Sirius, when you met her, you called her kitten and she glared at you and told you she hates nicknames,” James reminded his friend as he scribbled down ideas. 

“I’d like to request a different nickname,” Remus groaned, looking up from his book. “I hate Moony. I hate the moon.” 

“Suck it up, Moony,” Peter rolled his eyes. “Yours is better than Wormtail.” 

Sirius giggled.

“Not sure what to do for Sirius,” James admitted. “Can’t we just call him Paws?” 

“No,” Sirius scowled. “I need something cooler.” 

“ _ I  _ need something cooler!” Peter huffed. 

“At least your nickname doesn’t sound like a dick joke,” James glared. “Prongs is ridiculous.” 

“I think it fits you.” 

Sirius let out a girly screech and pulled the blanket over his bare chest. Alexia rolled his eyes and made her way into the room while Sirius threw a pillow at Remus, who was laughing at him. 

“We’re trying to figure out Sirius’s nickname,” James told her, tapping his notepad. “He shot down Paws.” 

“Because it’s dumb,” she rolled her eyes. She laid down on Sirius’s bed and put her head in his lap, relaxing. “I have an idea.” 

“What’s that, kitten?” 

“Padfoot.” 

The group paused for a moment and before she could do anything, Sirius leaned down and placed an excited kiss on her cheek. “It’s perfect!” 

“That’s not fair,” Peter whined. “He’s the only one that likes his nickname.” 

“I’ve got it,” Sirius narrowed his eyes at Lexi. “Ash.” 

“Excuse me?” she raised an eyebrow at him. Her gaze slid over to Remus, who looked like he was surprised. “What is he talking about?” 

“He wants to give you a nickname, too,” the boy explained. “Actually… I like it.” 

“Why Ash?” she scrunched up her nose. 

“Because you’ve got an ashy tail,” James explained for his best friend. “Yeah, I like it, too.” 

“I thought I wasn’t joining your little boys' club.” 

“There’s no club without you, kitten,” Sirius grinned. She rolled her eyes. 

“Yeah, and what are we called?” 

“Marauders!” James told her excitedly. “I found it in a dictionary. Mischief is our thing, Lex. It fits.” 

“I guess it does,” she sighed. “I just thought you guys wanted to do this alone.” 

“You’re one of us,” Remus told her in confusion. 

“You’re my twin,” James agreed, looking hurt. “Do you not want to…?”

“I do,” she assured him. It was true. She just had to remember to put a spell on the Marauders Map to conceal her from Harry and the twins. “I promise, Jamie, I do.” 

“Good,” Sirius grinned. “Put Ash on there too, Pete.”

“What?”

“The doorframe,” Sirius explained. “We’re carving our names in.” 

It took everything in her not to wince. She’d known their names were there - Harry had shown her and Ron in their fourth year. Still, defacing school property made her cringe, which was ridiculous considering the fact that she’d blown up parts of the school during the war. There was one wall in particular that she’d thrown a werewolf attacking Ernie Macmillan into. 

“Lex?” James asked, touching her arm. She jumped. She hadn’t even realized he’d moved over to her. “You alright?” 

“Lost in thought,” she replied easily, brushing his hand away. “So, is that everyone? What are your nicknames?” 

“Prongs,” James sighed. 

“Jamie, it makes sense,” she told him, waving to above his head. He made a face at her but pointed to Pete. 

“Wormtail.” 

“Yikes,” she winced, though the name brought up the hatred she held for the man. She’d suppressed it for so long, choosing to befriend the boy while still hating the man that had caused her best friend so much misery. James tilted his head at her and she waved him off. 

“Moony,” Remus sighed. Lexi offered him a sympathetic smile. 

“And you guys can fully shift without any problems?” she wondered, looking between her friends. 

“Yep,” Sirius replied, popping the ‘p’. “Wanna see?” 

She shook her head. She hadn’t seen Padfoot yet and she definitely didn’t want him to shift while she was sitting on his bed with him. Part of her thought she might cry at the sight, remembering the days he’d shift and walk around Grimmauld Place. “I hope you guys are done packing. We’re leaving tomorrow morning.” 

“I know, Lex,” James sighed dramatically. “We’re not stupid, you know.” 

She hummed. “Remus isn’t. Remus is brilliant.” 

While the werewolf grinned at her, a chorus of three offended protests sounded. She let out a laugh and leaned her head back to look up at Sirius, who was running his fingers through her hair absently. 

“You okay? I’m worried about you going home.” 

“You and me both, Ash,” he sighed. “But there’s not much I can do about it. Besides, it’s not for that long. Just a few months.” 

“I know,” she muttered, looking at his worried face. “Just write if it gets too bad, okay?” 

“Of course.” 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

**June 23rd, 1972**

“Lex! Help me!” 

Alexia poked her head out the door and giggled at the sight of James playing tug of war with a gnome, trying to win his wand back from the thing. “You’ve got it, Jamie! Put your back into it!” 

He let out a screech when the gnome let go of the wand and stomped on his foot before biting his nose and running off. “That fucking hurt.” 

“James Charlus,” Dorea scolded. “Language.” 

“Lexi swears all the time!” 

“She’s smart enough not to do it around me,” his mother winked as she froze the gnome and got rid of it. James pouted and walked over to the table where his mother and sister sat with books and lemonade. 

“Why doesn’t she have to do this again?” 

“Because she’s not the one in trouble.” 

“I apologized!” 

Alexia scoffed. “Sirius apologized and I let it go because being angry with you is too much energy. You still hexed Severus.” 

“Mum, it was months ago,” James whined as he took a sip of Alexia’s drink. She smacked his hand away and set her cup on the other side of the table. 

“And I just found out about it today,” Dorea raised an eyebrow. “Now go finish de-gnoming the garden. There’s an hour until dinner.” 

“Yes, mum.” 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

**July 13th, 1972**

Charlus, Dorea, and Alexia sat across from Dumbledore and a man named Bertie Croaker, who was in charge of the Department of Mysteries. There was a tense silence, and it was only broken by the sparking of Alexia’s hair. 

“Miss Potter, if you would just allow me to explain-,” 

“I literally do not give a single shit what you have to say,” she snapped. To her surprise, neither of her parents yelled at her. “This was not your secret to tell, Dumbledore. You’re trying to use me for this war, and I’m fucking done with it. I played along as a kid, I gave you and this war my entire childhood. Get out of my house.” 

“Okay,” Charlus put a hand on her shoulder. “Take a deep breath, dear. What he did was wrong, but I’m sure he didn’t mean it like that.” 

“I did not,” Dumbledore agreed in a rush. “I simply thought that perhaps there are things you believe you can share that will not effect the outcome of the war.” 

“Sir,” she scoffed at him, fire in her eyes. “Do you consider yourself to be an open person? Do you share every plan and detail with those around you? Because I know, for a fact, that you do not. The fact that you believe I know when and what you knew is laughable. And I would laugh, but I’m angry.” 

“If there are things you can offer us that you do not believe will affect the war, then perhaps-,”

“Fine,” she snapped, getting to her feet. She waved her wand. “ _ Accio _ Gaunt book.” The book flew down the stairs, and she caught it in her hand and passed it over. “His name is Tom Riddle. I believe you retrieved him from the orphanage?” 

“Tom,” Dumbledore breathed, staring at the page she’d opened for him. 

“Yes. He’s reinvented himself as Lord Voldemort. That’s all I will give you.” 

Dumbledore’s eyes scanned the page before they paused. “Salazar Slytherin.” 

“He’s the last heir,” she confirmed. “He likely has an heirloom or two. Is that all?” 

“It is. Again, my dear, I apologize.” 

She scowled at him and stormed from the room. 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

**July 27th, 1972**

James opened the door and grinned at Remus, who looked exhausted. “You’re here!” 

“I said I would be, Prongs,” Remus rolled his eyes as he walked inside. “Where is everyone else?” 

“Mum and Lexi are showing them their rooms,” James answered, running up the stairs. “Yours is next to Lexi’s and Pete’s is next to mine.” 

“Is he here yet?” 

“He’ll be here later,” James replied, dropping Remus’s trunk in his room. “Let’s go help dad!”

“What is he doing?”

“He’s setting up the pool,” he grinned. 

“Don’t you guys have a pond that you swim in?”

“Yeah, but Lily told Lexi that her parents refused to get a pool and dad thought it would be cool to get one.”

“Are there- are there no pools in the wizarding world?” Remus asked. He lived in a muggle area and knew plenty about the muggle world. 

James shook his head. “We have magic. If we want to swim, we just make ponds in our backyards or something. But dad thought a pool would be cool, especially because Lexi said the chemicals smell good. I just don’t understand why there’s chemicals in the water.”

“Chlorine? It helps keep the pool clean,” Remus answered as they went outside to see Charlus waving his wand to put the pool up. 

“Why don’t you boys go get everyone else? I’ll be done in just a minute,” Charlus told them. “Pixie!” 

“Pixie is here,” the elf announced after popping in. 

“Please help me add the water and chemicals.” 

The boys ran off as the man and the elf got to work spraying the water in together. Once inside, they made their way to Lexi’s room where they found her sitting with Lily and Severus, as well as Marlene McKinnon, Mary McDonald, and Alice Travers. 

“Ash, dad said he’s almost done,” James told him. 

“Okay,” she sighed. “Out, boys.” 

Fifteen minutes later, and everyone had gotten into their swimsuits. Pete had arrived and joined them, and they all met outside, where the pool had been filled and snacks and drinks sat on the table on the patio. 

Alexia had placed a Notice-Me-Not charm as well as a modified muggle repelling charm on the majority of her scars, which had taken her and Dorea nearly two hours to do the night before. She’d considered not joining her friends at all, but at the insistence of her mum, she caved and put on her swimsuit. 

“Why does it smell weird?” Alice wondered, screwing up her face. 

“That’s the chlorine,” Lily laughed, jumping into the pool. “Don’t worry about it, it won’t hurt you.” 

James let out a shrill scream when Alexia shoved him in, and she burst out laughing when he managed to get his head above water to glare at her. “I’ll get you back for that, Ash.”

“You can try,” she snorted. 

“Her reflexes are pretty intense, mate,” Remus reminded him. “Good luck.” 

“Then help me!” 

“No way.” 

Peter, however, was on James’s side. Alexia barely had time to duck and shove the boy in before he could reach her. When he also popped his head up, she smirked. 

From then on, it became a game to try and shove her in the water. No matter what anyone did, she managed to avoid it. One time when Marlene went after her, she almost got her, but Alexia stopped her fall with wandless magic, to the complaints of her friends, who considered it cheating. 

Once everyone was pruned and tired, nearly four hours later, they were called out for lunch. Two elves popped in with towels for everyone and led them into the kitchen where sandwiches and lemonade sat waiting for them, as well as brownies that were on the counter being held hostage by Dorea until they finished their lunch. 

The rest of the day was spent in the pool. When some got tired of it, they went flying through the garden, and a small game of Quidditch was played between James, Remus, Marlene, and Alice with Peter as commentator while Lily, Severus, Mary, and Alexia sat in the living room playing wizard’s chess and talking about school. 

“What do you think we’re going to learn next year?” Lily asked excitedly while Alexia narrowed her eyes at Severus, who was taking his turn. She’d gotten better at the game during her time on the run, but she was losing to her friend, a fact that angered her greatly. 

“Haven’t you read your books yet?” Mary joked. Lily made a face at her. 

“I haven’t had time. My parents took us on vacation with Petunia’s gross boyfriend and I’ve focused all of my energy on not hexing him.” 

Alexia looked at her curiously. “What’s his name?” 

“Vernon,” Lily scowled. “He’s disgusting.” 

Alexia didn’t reply as she glared at Severus. He just rolled his eyes at her. “You’re too competitive for this.” 

“I don’t understand how you’re so much better than I am!” 

“I’ve been playing with Mother since I was small,” he explained. “Strategy is easy once you understand it.” 

She wanted to laugh. She  _ got _ strategy. She won a war for Merlin’s sake. There was just something about Wizard’s chess - or regular chess, for that matter - that rubbed her the wrong way and threw her off her game. “Lils, wanna take over? I’m too annoyed for this.” 

“Sure,” Lily agreed, moving from her place next to Mary on the couch. “But really, what do you guys think we’ll learn?” 

“Not sure,” Severus replied. “Potions is going to get harder now, though. Last year was just learning the fundamentals, this year we get to actually brew.” 

“Oh boy,” Alexia sighed. “I’m no good at brewing.” 

“You’re great with theory,” Severus told her. “Like I said last year, I’ll help you.” 

She offered him a smile and plucked a book off the table she’d left it on earlier. It was about the Wizengamot and how they handled trials after Grindelwald. She’d been curious since she’d gotten to the past about how the trials would go for the Death Eaters. It was harder now, she thought. It seemed that the American government had helped to keep the British Ministry of Magic in check. It hadn’t been taken over the way that it had been by Voldemort. Which meant that they’d likely lock up the Death Eaters while they scrambled to find the required officials to hold trials and then prosecute them. 

“What’re you reading that for?” Mary asked, startling her. 

“I was curious,” she replied shortly. “I found it in our library and wondered what happened after the war.” 

“I heard they offered Dumbledore Minister and he turned it down,” Mary told her. “He just wanted to keep teaching.” 

Lily raised an eyebrow and looked around Severus. “Why would they do that? What are you talking about?” 

“The war of Grindelwald,” Alexia told her. “It happened in the twenties. He wanted to get rid of the statute of secrecy and basically rule over the muggles. Dumbledore supposedly fought him and won in the end, but I also heard that in the beginning, they worked together. I think Dumbledore was in love with him and Grindelwald didn’t feel the same?” 

“Wait, he’s gay?” Lily’s eyes widened in surprise. 

“Yeah,” Mary nodded along. “I heard the same thing. I also heard that he might’ve killed his sister.” 

“Ariana?” Alexia blinked in shock. It made a bit of sense why Aberforth held so much hatred for his brother as well as why Albus never mentioned his family. 

“Yeah. She was in between Dumbledore and Grindelwald while they were fighting and someone killed her. It’s just a rumor, but my dad believes it.” 

“Are we still playing?” Severus drawled, gaining Lily’s attention once more. She blushed and nodded hurriedly and returned to her game, leaving Alexia to ponder Mary’s words quietly. 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

**August 9th, 1972**

“Lex, what’s that?” 

Alexia looked at James, who had barged into her room with no warning. He was pointing at her left arm, which was bare along with her right arm. She shoved her right arm under a blanket to cover her scar and stared at the long black line on the left one. “What?” 

“Holy shit, did you get a tattoo?” he yelled, rushing over. His face fell upon grabbing her arm. “It’s boring.” 

“It’s not a tattoo,” she smacked his hand away. “Go away, Prongs.” 

“Tell me what it is or I’m gonna tell Mum,” James threatened. She glared at him. 

“Fine. But you have to swear on your magic not to tell anyone.” 

“Just tell me!” 

“I took part in an Unbreakable Vow,” she admitted. 

“Alexia!” He gasped. “You can’t break those!” 

She just stared at him. 

“You’ll die if you break it!” 

“I didn’t make the Vow, I just helped seal it,” she told him, annoyed. “I’ll be fine.” 

“Then who did? Oh, Mum’s gonna be  _ pissed _ . This isn’t from before, is it? I haven’t noticed it until now.”

“James Charlus Potter, you will  _ not _ tell Mum!” 

“Won’t tell me what?” 

Lexi groaned. “It’s nothing, mum.” 

“Alexia Dorea Potter,” the woman narrowed her eyes. “What did you do?” 

“I promise I know what I’m doing,” she lied. At the glare she received, she glanced to James. “Fine, but he has to leave.” 

“Go, James.” 

“Mum!”

“James!” 

The boy pouted and left the room, leaving Alexia alone with her mother. 

“It has to do with fixing something in the future,” she said slowly before shoving her arm forward to show her mother the black line. The woman let out a small gasp and shook her head in disapproval. 

“You’re trying to change the future,” she pursed her lips. “Alex, you have no way to know what will change. What if it changes something much bigger than you expect?” 

“I know, Mum, but I can’t… I had to do something. There’s so much I want to fix, but this… I think this I can fix.” 

“What is it?” 

“I don’t know if I should…” 

“Alexia.” 

“Sirius. Sirius dies in my fifth year of school. I watched it. It was…” she shook her head. “I need to save him, mum. It’s too late.” 

“And this Vow, it’s with Sirius? Which means he knows you’re from the future.” 

Alex nodded shortly. “He found out when we went to fix the family trees, but only he did.”

“And who helped seal it?” 

“Ah. Um… Lucius Malfoy. He also found out earlier that night. It was an accident but I trust him… look, if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t matter. He’ll die anyway.” 

“He’s too young to make those decisions, Lexi,” her mother sighed. “You should’ve known better.” 

“He knows that he’s going to enter a situation in which he could die, and now he knows to avoid that. Don’t you want him to live? Mum, he deserves this. He deserves a chance to be happy.” 

Dorea sighed and grabbed her hand. “You know more than I do, and I trust you, dear. Just remember the position you put a twelve-year-old boy in. Remember that you cannot fix everything.” 

“I know, mum,” she looked away. “Believe me, I know.” 

“We haven’t spoken about this much,” Dorea noted. “How are you doing here?” 

“I.. don’t know. It’s nice, you know, being here. I didn’t have much of a childhood the first time with the war and all. But now… it’s bittersweet. I’ve befriended some people that, in the future, I considered an enemy. I’ve also befriended people that in my time are dead, and it’ll kill me to go back without them. Plus… it’s unsettling having just ended the war only to go back in time and be here at the very beginning. I don’t… I don’t want to fight again, mum.” 

“You don’t have to,” she assured her. Lexi shook her head. 

“I don’t know how to not. Besides, I know some of the students in even my year become Death Eaters and I can’t imagine not fighting them. And the whole thing with Dolohov…” 

“Antonin Dolohov?” 

Alexia nodded a little. “Turns out he’s been at every major battle I’ve been in. He’s hexed me, tried to kill me, and I think he was going to kidnap me once. Also… the day I left, he called me Alexia.”

“I see,” Dorea hummed. “You’ll let us know if he becomes trouble?” 

“Yeah.”

Dorea’s eyes flicked back over to the black line down her arm. “There’s nothing we can do about it now, but I’ll warn you not to do anything like this again.”

“Yes, mum.”

OoOoOoOoOoOo

**September 1st, 1972**

James shoved Alexia forward as they rushed after their parents onto the train. They were twenty minutes early and the platform was surprisingly empty. Their parents helped them get their things onto the train before they hugged and exited, much to everyone’s disappointment. Charlus and Dorea were expected at the Ministry as some odd Aunt had died finally and they had to sort out her estates. 

James took his seat and Alexia sat across from him, tapping her wand against her thigh, her gut churning anxiously. Her brother tossed a paper airplane at her head to get her attention. “Hey!”

“Calm down, Lex,” he rolled his eyes. “It’s just school.” 

“I’m not worried about that, idiot,” she scoffed. “I’m worried about Sirius.” 

“Why?” 

“I know you don’t care to write your friends, but I do. He hasn’t responded all summer, and my letters eventually started coming back to me. Something’s wrong.” 

“I’m sure he’s fine.” 

“You haven’t met his mother,” she disagreed. “She’s despicable. I’m worried, Jamie.” 

“Okay. Okay. I’m sure he’ll be here soon and we can make sure he’s okay.” 

She was skeptical but waited silently, counting down the minutes until the train left. Five minutes before, Remus and Peter joined them. Two minutes before and Sirius finally opened the door to the compartment. 

Alexia shot up and threw her arms around him. “I’ve been so worried!” 

“It’s okay, kitten,” he let out a nervous laugh as he rubbed her back. “Can you let me sit?” 

“Sure,” she nodded, turning to James. “Move.” 

He rolled his eyes at her but still moved to sit next to Pete so that she could lay her head in Sirius’s lap. It was only after she’d manhandled him into a sitting position when she noticed another boy standing in the door, confused. “Oh.” 

“C’mon, Reg,” Sirius waved his little brother in. Regulus closed the door behind him and sat nervously across from his brother, his eyes darting between Sirius and Alexia. “This is the girl I was telling you about, my friend. Alexia.” 

She pulled herself into a sitting position again with a small smile. “It’s so nice to meet you.” 

“And you as well,” the boy bowed his head respectfully. 

“You don’t have to do that,” Sirius shook his head. “It’s just Lexi.” 

“Lucius did it when we met, too,” she elbowed Sirius. “It’s respectful.” 

“Oh, and you curtsey when you meet people?” 

She blushed. “You may have a point.” 

“I’m Remus Lupin,” the werewolf introduced. “You’re Sirius’s brother? Too bad we didn’t meet at the New Year’s Ball.” 

“It was a busy night,” Sirius reminded his friend. “Next to you is James Potter, Lexi’s twin, and next to him is Peter Pettigrew.” 

“It is nice to meet you all,” Regulus said formally. Alexia could see the tension in his entire body and she remembered the first time she’d ever been to Hogwarts and how nervous she was. She couldn’t imagine how Regulus felt. He was sitting with a group of Gryffindors while his parents expected him to be in Slytherin. As far as she was aware, that’s where he went. 

“Are you okay?” she whispered to Sirius. He nodded. 

“We’ll talk later,” he assured her, whispering back. 

“So, Regulus, are you excited for school?” James asked curiously. 

“I am,” the boy confirmed. “I read my potions book over summer. I think that’ll be my best class.” 

“Charms is mine,” James said. 

“DADA,” Alexia spoke up with a grin. 

“DADA for me, too,” Remus nodded along. 

“Transfiguration,” Sirius sighed. “Pete?”

“Charms.”

The conversation changed to favorite spells, hexes, curses, and charms, and they told Regulus which ones they found the hardest. After a while, Sirius and Alexia quieted, and while everyone else talked, she scooted closer to whisper to him. 

“Jamie found my Vow mark and told Mum, so she knows now.” 

“She knows everything?” 

Alexia nodded. “Dumbledore told them before handing me over. It’s just Dumbledore, my parents, you, and Lucius that know. Everyone else just knows I used to be nineteen.” 

“Well, I haven’t said anything,” he promised. “I might not look like it, but I am actually good at keeping secrets.” 

She offered him a smile. “I trust you.” 

“Stop whispering,” James whined, interrupting them. “I’m bored.” 

“Prongs, we've been here for twenty minutes,” Sirius laughed. “You’re already bored?” 

“I’m always bored.” 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

“Slytherin!” 

Alexia clapped as Regulus threw a helpless look at Sirius as he walked over to the Slytherin table to be greeted by Severus. She grabbed her friend’s hand and squeezed it underneath the table. The disappointment on his face was obvious. 

As the sorting ceremony continued on, she traced patterns on Sirius’s arm to keep him calm. She knew he’d been hoping his little brother would join him in Gryffindor. The rest of the ceremony went slow and when it was over, Dumbledore introduced their new DADA teacher, Professor Septimus Weasley. He was Arthur’s father and an Auror, much to Alexia’s surprise. 

The feast ended after an hour of eating and talking, and Alexia and her friends slipped away from everyone else to run through the castle to beat the first years there. They went up to the second year boys’ dorm and claimed their beds while Alexia sat on a bed that Remus ended up taking. 

“So, Pads, what happened?” Remus asked. The boy let out a sigh before sitting down and resigning himself to the conversation. 

“She cut off all contact,” he told them, stating the obvious. “Gave me extra classes in the dark arts and grounded me. I think she had my mail returned to sender.” 

“She did,” Alexia told him bitterly. 

“I told her I was all good and evil,” he explained. “I think it’s the only reason she didn’t pull me out of school if I’m honest.” 

“She’s despicable.” 

“Well, I’m here,” he stated firmly, promptly ending the discussion. “How were your summers?” 

“Lexi shoved me in a pool!” James exclaimed. 

“Prongs, she shoved us all in a pool,” Remus rolled his eyes at his friend. 

“And none of you could get me in,” she grinned proudly. 

“That is a blatant lie,” Pete glared. “You cheated and used magic.” 

“I bet I could get her in a pool,” Sirius announced cockily. Alexia raised an eyebrow. 

“Oh, really?” 

“Really.” 

“We’ll see.” 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My plan is basically to jump from project to project randomly as my ADHD pleases until my mom's surgery is over, which includes posting chapters and writing like five different stories at once. I wonder how long it'll take me to give up on everything and watch tiktoks. We'll see.


	10. Fall Out Of Formation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of The Dolohov Thing. I definitely know this one.

**Chapter Ten**

_ And though I feed on things that fell, _

_ You can learn to levitate with just a little help _

**September 6th, 1972**

James, Remus, Sirius, and Peter woke up on that Wednesday morning the same way as always. They dragged themselves into the shower and into their clothes the same as always. They procrastinated for as long as possible, the same as always. They went down to breakfast the same as always. 

That’s when it began. 

A sudden blanket of magic dropped onto all four boys, startling them. Confused but seemingly okay, they made their way to their table, but when they tried to sit down, they fell through. Each boy let out a terrified scream, but no one reacted. 

“What the hell?” James shouted, trying to grab onto the bench. His hand slipped through it as if it wasn’t even there. “Moony!” 

“I don’t know!” Remus yelled back, equally startled. He got to his feet and tried to tap Alexia, who sat next to Lily laughing together. His hand went through her. “Alex!” She didn’t react.

“Oh my god,” Peter whimpered. “Are we dead?” 

“Nick,” Sirius ran up to Sir Nick, who was flying through the hall. The ghost didn’t respond. “No, if we were ghosts, he’d be able to see us.” 

“So we can’t interact with anything or anyone,” James summarized. “How the hell did this happen?” 

“We’re dead,” Peter whined. “We’re dead!” 

“We’re not dead, Pete!” 

Sirius paused. “I have an idea. Did anyone feel that magic when we got in here? Because we were fine in our dorm, right?”

“Yeah…” 

“Ash did this!” 

James narrowed his eyes. “I thought she forgot!” 

Remus shook his head. “She must’ve been waiting for a time we wouldn’t expect it. I have to say, she did pretty well. But how do we fix this?” 

“I don’t know,” Sirius sighed, reaching over to lean on the table. His hand went through and he fell to the ground. James laughed at him, and he scowled as he got back to his feet. 

“Neither do I.” 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

An hour later when breakfast finished, Alexia stood and turned to find her friends pouting by the teachers’ table, which was now empty. Being the last ones there, she cleared her throat to get their attention. “Are you boys done?” 

“You can see us?” James asked with wide eyes. 

“I could the entire time,” she laughed. “I could hear you, too.”

“Did you lift the spell?” Remus wondered. She shook her head. 

“Honestly, I thought you guys would figure it out yourselves. It’s pretty simple.” 

“What is it?” Peter asked anxiously. She waved at the door. 

“Leave.” 

“What?” Sirius stared at her. 

“Just leave. I’m shocked you didn’t try it before.” 

The four embarrassed boys ran out of the Great Hall and then touched a nearby suit of armor, shocked to find they were fine. Alexia made her way over to them, laughing the entire time.

“We thought you forgot,” Sirius admitted. 

“Nope,” she shook her head. “I was just waiting.” 

“Well, it was definitely interesting and good charm work, but it wasn’t that bad,” Remus told her. “I thought you could do better.” 

“I can,” she let out a laugh. “This is just a warning, boys. The Prank War of 1971 is now the Prank War of the Marauders. Whoever wins by the time we graduate is the Master Marauder.”

“We need rules,” Remus said seriously. “Things could get out of hand.” 

“We do,” she agreed. “Nothing that could seriously hurt someone.” 

“Agreed,” he nodded. “We can only prank each other, not the rest of the school.” 

“Agreed. Any of us can use any resources, including the Prewett twins, but no dark magic.” 

“Agreed. Nothing that can get us suspended or expelled.” 

“Agreed.” 

“Do either of you know a different word than agreed?” Sirius joked, earning himself a glare. “Fine. No teacher involvement.” 

“Each successful prank that doesn’t break any rules counts as one point. Whoever has the most points by graduation wins.”

“That sounds good.”

“But wait,” Pete looked to James. “Doesn’t that mean we’re all pranking each other?”

“Yep.”

“Ooh,” Sirius perked up. “We can help each other and if the prank works, everyone that was in on it gets a point.”

“But no teams,” Alexia raised an eyebrow. 

“No teams.”

“We can add more if we need to,” Alexia told them, satisfied by the rules. “Are we good?” 

“Yeah. Watch your back, Potter.” 

She rolled her eyes and walked off to get ready for their first class.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

**September 14th, 1972**

It was seven in the morning and Alexia was already awake and pacing through the school, her favorite thing to do when she couldn’t sleep or had nightmares. It was still hard to be in Hogwarts and she thought it probably always would be. There was no way to forget the things she’d seen, and she didn’t want to. She wanted to remember the people they’d lost. Still, she spent more time in the dungeons than anywhere else when wandering simply for the fact that she hadn’t been down there during the final battle. 

Walking into the potions classroom, she was startled to find Regulus sitting with his wand out over a cauldron. First years didn’t brew potions, and she wondered what exactly he was doing. “Regulus?” 

He tensed but turned with a tight smile. “Miss Potter.” 

She rolled her eyes and suppressed a laugh. “Please call me Lexi. What are you doing?” 

“I’m just brewing a simple potion,” he admitted. “It helps to calm me.” 

Alexia nodded and made her way over to take a glance at the potion. She narrowed her eyes at it. “Is that a Babbling Beverage?” 

“It is,” he admitted reluctantly. 

“Why? Not that I don’t support pranking, but I didn’t expect you to.” 

“It’s not a prank,” he denied quickly. “It’s revenge. I heard Dolohov calling you guys names. Especially you and Sirius.” 

She tensed a little at Dolohov’s name. “So you plan to slip a second year a potion? How do you expect to do that?” 

“I figured I’d just drop it in when he wasn’t looking?” 

“No, not good enough,” she hummed, thinking. “Do you think you can get me a piece of his hair? I have an idea.” 

“What are you going to do?” 

“Well, I once used a different form of this charm on a girl,” she admitted. “I think I can modify it to work on hair instead of a signature and a potion instead of… what she did. I just need the hair.”

“I can get it,” he grinned with a spark in his eye that made her grin back. “The potion will be done before dinner tonight.” 

“Then let’s do it at dinner,” she winked. “And thank you for coming to our defense, Regulus.” 

“Call me Reg, Lexi.” 

“Got it.” 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Alexia charmed the piece of hair to the potion so that it would only work when it touched Dolohov’s lips. With that done, the pair slipped into the kitchens and put a little bit of it in each drink heading for the Slytherin table. Then they made their way out and hid in an alcove to laugh together. 

During dinner, they exchanged glances many times until suddenly, Dolohov began shouting and babbling angrily. When she met Regulus’s gaze, she burst into laughter. She stopped only when Sirius bumped her with his shoulder and nodded at Dolohov. 

“Did you do this?” 

“Regulus and I,” she nodded. “Apparently, Dolohov was insulting you and me. I helped him make sure the potion would get to Dolohov without being able to trace it back to us.”

“My brother?” Sirius’s eyes moved to Regulus, who was smirking down at his food. “My brother did this… in my defense?” 

“Yep.” 

“Well,” he grinned. “That’s fucking fantastic.” 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Lucius looked to Alexia, who was laughing brightly, her eyes shining happily. Though there was a sick feeling in his stomach - he knew she’d slipped Dolohov the potion, though he wasn’t sure why she’d do it - he couldn’t help but smile at the sight. As much as he wanted to deny it, he could tell he’d developed some feelings for the girl. 

To his left, a little ways down the table, Dolohov was still babbling. It was obvious he was angry, but the babbling made it extremely hard to take him seriously. It was only when more of the Gryffindor table began laughing that any teachers noticed, and Slughorn eventually pulled Dolohov out of the room, likely to find the antidote for the ridiculous potion. 

“Stop looking at her like that,” Severus hissed in his ear. He turned to look at his friend, raising an eyebrow silently. “Oh, come on. It’s obvious. You can’t court her, Malfoy. You’ll be disowned for it.” 

“I have seven years to figure out who I’d like to marry,” he replied dryly. “I do not think father would protest dating.” 

“I’m just saying, be careful. Her brother and friends hate us and if we slip up even once around her, they’ll hex us to hell and back.” 

“I do not intend to slip up,” he frowned, indignant. “Besides, dating isn’t in my plans for this year. Relax, Severus.” 

“I’m just saying. One of us messes up and we’re both finished being her friend.” 

“It is ridiculous that they have such a hold on her friendships,” Lucius noted, looking to Sirius, who was grinning at Alexia while she shoved him lightly and rolled her eyes. Something inside him churned uncomfortably at the sight as it always did when he saw them together, and he was confused by it as he always was. “She is her own person.” 

“And James is her twin, and Sirius is one of her best friends,” Severus told him. “Remus can feel whatever she feels. The only one she isn’t particularly close to is Pettigrew.” 

Lucius fell quiet when he saw McGonagall quietly make her way over to Alexia. The two exchanged some words and after a minute, Alexia let out a sigh and stood, following her head of house out of the great hall. “What do you think that is?” 

“Maybe she got caught,” Severus suggested. “She was laughing before anyone else.” 

“Oh, no.” 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

“I’m telling you, Professor, I didn’t do it,” Alexia repeated, annoyed. “You have no proof.” 

“Miss Potter, you must admit you have a bit of a history in these… pranks,” McGonagall sighed, looking just as annoyed as she felt. “I cannot think of anyone else that would do this, especially after Professor Dumbledore told me to watch out for you and Mister Dolohov.” 

“I didn’t do it!” she threw her hands up. “If I’m in danger from him, why would I do something like this and put myself in more danger?” 

“I do not know,” the woman admitted. “As it is, you’ll have one week of detention. Seven p.m. in the great hall polishing our goblets.” 

“Professor!” she stared in frustration. “I didn’t do it!” 

“You are dismissed.” 

Alexia shot out of her chair and slammed out of the room, rushing through the castle until she got outside where she began to pace angrily. She  _ had _ done it, sure, but it shouldn’t have been able to be traced back to her. She assumed they only thought it was her by her reaction, and that was absolutely not proof. 

A hand fell on her shoulder and she jumped, spinning around to point her wand at whoever had touched her. To her relief and horror, it was Regulus. She forced her shaky hand back down to her side and offered him a small smile. “Sorry. You startled me.” 

“Did you get in trouble?” 

She shrugged. “I did. I don’t care about being in trouble as much as I care about detention when there’s absolutely no proof I did anything. I get detention enough as is, so I don’t care about that.” 

“Why did they pick you?” 

“I assume because I laughed first,” she sighed, pulling her hair back. “I’m not sure, honestly.” 

“I’m sorry for getting you in trouble,” he told her. Alexia smiled at him. 

“It’s worth it. It was sweet of you to defend us like that.” 

“He was saying vile things,” Regulus admitted, anger flooding his gentle silver eyes. “He called you both blood traitors and… other words.” 

Alexia considered asking what else he said but decided it was best she not know, at least while she was so angry. “Well, thank you. And hey, if anyone ever insults you, I promise I’ll hex them.” Regulus laughed, and she grinned at the sound. It didn’t seem like something he did often. “Don’t you have class soon?” 

“DADA,” he confirmed. “The last of the night. What are you doing?” 

“Skipping,” she shrugged. “I’m too frustrated to sit still. I’ll catch up with you later, okay?” 

“Okay,” he agreed, bowing his head at her. She wanted to laugh, but it felt less pompous and more respectful, so she just smiled back as he walked away from her. 

Calmer after talking to him, she went back into the castle to head to her dorm, where she found Lucius speaking politely with Lily, who looked overwhelmed and intimidated. “Lucius,” she greeted, surprised.

“Ah, there she is,” he gave Lily a smile. “Thank you, Miss Evans.” 

“Oh, it’s just- it’s just Lily,” the redhead corrected. “Um… I’ll let you guys be. I need to make sure Marlene is actually studying.” 

“Tell her that if she doesn’t study, I won’t let her borrow my pink top again,” Alexia told Lily, who laughed and nodded as she entered the portrait hole. Alexia turned back to Lucius with a smile. It surprised her how much she enjoyed his company. “Were you looking for me?” 

“I was worried,” Lucius confirmed. “You dosed Dolohov?” 

“Regulus was going to do it and get caught, so I helped him. I shouldn’t have been caught, there was no way. I have detention for a week. It’s ridiculous.” 

“And why was Regulus going to do it?” 

“Because apparently, Dolohov was insulting Sirius and I, and Regulus didn’t want to let that go. I decided to help him so he wouldn’t get in trouble.” 

“That was dangerous, Alexia,” he told her with a concerned frown. “You’re already worried he might hurt you, or did you forget?” 

“He wasn’t supposed to find out,” she shrugged. “I can protect myself.” 

“Not from him,” he raised an eyebrow. “I do not mean to be harsh, but every memory with him, he hurt you.”

“He’s thirteen! I think I can handle him now.” 

Lucius shook his head. “Please be careful. Families like mine, Regulus’s, and Dolohov’s are raised learning dark magic from a young age. He might not be able to do other things like transfiguration or ancient runes, but he can likely cast dark curses.” 

“I’ll be okay,” she promised. “If it makes you feel better, I’ll stick with people for a while so that I’m not alone.” 

“Thank you,” he offered her a smile, and she felt some of the tension in her shoulders leave at the sight. She shifted a little, uncomfortable with how much she appreciated his smile and his voice. She cleared her throat and looked away from him. 

“Um, I think I should… I’m going to… go,” she managed, wincing at how awkward it sounded. “I’m, uh, pretty tired.” 

“Have a good night, Alexia,” he said, still smiling at her. Her heart skipped a beat as if he’d never said that to her before, and she stuttered out a good night and turned to rush into the Gryffindor common rooms.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

**September 27th, 1972**

It was nearly two in the morning when Alexia finally finished with her first detention. It had been overseen by Filch, which was horrible. He looked at her like he wanted to string her up by her toes, and she was pretty sure he did. After an hour, she’d put up a circular shield around her every time he came to check on her. 

She hadn’t been given any passes to get past the teachers patroling the halls, so she went down a floor to head to the passage she needed that would take her to Gryffindor common rooms. There were many more than were on the Marauder’s Map, and she’d actually stumbled upon some of them in her sixth year while trying to escape from Harry’s brooding and Ron’s… kissing. 

While in the dungeons she saw a light in a nearby hall and, curious, she took the turn to see who was wandering about. To her relief, it wasn’t a teacher. Anymore detentions and she knew they’d be writing home to her parents, and she didn’t want to disappoint them. Still, whoever was walking toward her had a cloak on and their wand out. 

“Hello?” she called uncertainly. She was on guard and already had her shield up - after a night around Filch, she was nervous enough as is. 

“Alexia Potter?” 

She tensed. “That depends, who’s asking?” 

“Antonin Dolohov,” he answered, dropping the hood of his cloak. She took a step back as he stepped forward. “I don’t believe we’ve met.” 

“We haven’t,” she confirmed, gripping her wand so tight that her knuckles turned white. “I should get to bed.” 

“What are you doing in the dungeons so late at night?” he wondered, moving closer. 

“I just got out of detention. Like I said, I need to get to bed.” 

“I can escort you there,” he offered, moving closer much quicker than she was moving away from him. Before she could turn and run, he grabbed her arm tightly. “I wouldn’t want to see you hurt.”

“I’m alright,” she said cautiously, nearly tripping when he tugged her closer to his side. “You could get in trouble.” 

“Oh, I’ll be fine,” he promised. “It’s you that we should worry about.” 

His threatening tone made her shiver and she wished that the shield she’d had up protected her against physical people and not just weapons. She moved along quietly for a minute, considering how she could escape from him without escalating the situation. She came up with nothing by the time they reached the stairs, and he tugged her harder. She nearly tripped walking up the stairs and when they got three flights up - the Gryffindor common room was on the fifth floor - he stopped and stepped in front of her. 

“I’m not sure if you saw yesterday, but someone dosed me with a Babbling Beverage at dinner.” 

“That’s horrible,” she told him softly, making sure her voice didn’t shake. 

“It is. I’ve been trying to figure out who it was, and I finally did. It was hard, but I heard you were in detention tonight and I wondered why. You’re the only person in detention tonight, in fact, and it’s because you dosed me.” 

“I did not,” she said, careful to keep her voice calm. “I have no clue why Professor McGonagall thought I did. I didn’t do anything. I was a table away from you, Dolohov.” 

“You’re the smartest girl in your class,” he argued. “You could find a way, I’m sure.” 

“Let go of me.” 

“Okay,” he said. Her gut twisted as she immediately regretted her words. He released her for barely a second before he shoved her as hard as he could and she tumbled down one flight of stairs. Her head hit the stone floor six times before her body came to a stop at the bottom. In pain and likely with a concussion, she barely noticed as he came to a stop next to her, having followed her down. “Don’t come after me again, Potter. I won’t let you off so easy next time.” 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

It was a full hour before someone found Alexia. She’d passed out and was found by Mrs. Norris, who retrieved Filch, who reluctantly retrieved Professor McGonagall when her bleeding messed up his cleaning job. She was taken to the infirmary where she was woken and treated while Professor McGonagall went to Gryffindor to find James. He was still up and waiting in the common room for his sister, nervous as Sirius, Remus, and Peter tried to comfort and distract him from the late hour. 

“Mister Potter,” Professor McGonagall greeted. “If you’ll follow me to the infirmary, please.” 

“Oh my god,” Remus stared in surprise as James jumped to his feet. 

“Is it Lexi? Is she okay?” 

“She will be fine,” the witch assured him. “Your parents are on their way as is customary for a head injury. Madame Pomfrey is with her now, but I assumed you’d like to see her.”

“I’m coming,” Remus stated, getting up from the floor. When McGonagall went to argue, he continued on. “She’s my beta, Professor, and my best friend.” 

“She’s my best friend, too,” Sirius said indignantly. “She’s only in detention for me to begin with.”

“What happened?” Peter asked, surprisingly before anyone else. 

Professor McGonagall looked to the small boy. “We’re unsure. It seems she fell down some stairs on her way to bed.” 

“Fat chance,” Sirius muttered. “It was Dolohov.” 

“Mister Dolohov was nowhere around,” the woman sighed. “You may all come, but you musn’t crowd her.” 

With that, the five of them rushed down to the infirmary, where Alexia laid in a bed unconscious. There were potions and water on the table next to her, and she was pale but otherwise looked okay. James rushed to her side and grabbed her hand. When everyone else crowded her - like McGonagall told them not to - she was jostled awake and looked around in confusion. 

“It’s okay, Lex,” James whispered. “We’re here. You’re okay.” 

“Jamie,” she replied, slurring a little. 

“Yeah,” he kissed her head. “You’re okay. Do you remember what happened?” 

She frowned and squinted her eyes as she tried to remember. “I was… trying to use a passage in the dungeons but… Dolohov…”

“I fucking knew it,” Sirius said loudly. 

“Tried to take me to Gryffindor,” she continued as it came back to her. “He shoved me down some stairs and threatened me.” 

“Shit,” James whispered. “It’s okay. You’ll be okay. He won’t hurt you again, okay, Lex? We’ll protect you.” 

“‘m tired,” she breathed. James stroked her hair gently and met Sirius’s eyes as his sister fell back asleep. 

Dolohov would never touch her again. 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

**October 8th, 1972**

It was a brisk 10C outside, and most all students were taking in the last of the warm weather on the Sunday afternoon, while some other students did homework in the library or their dorms. 

James, Remus, Sirius, and Peter, however, were in the Great Hall. 

Remus sat with a book in front of him and his tea held in a hand, warming his cold body. His forehead pinched with a headache. 

James was hanging backward off of a chair and tried, to the best of his ability, to drink chocolate milk upside down without spilling it. He wasn’t doing well, and he had chocolate milk in his messy hair already. 

Peter, for a reason no one could understand, was trying to figure out how to tie a noose in a library book. It wasn’t going well. 

Sirius was pacing and sporadically screaming in frustration as he thought over a prank he wanted to pull but didn’t have the skills for. 

A pair of heels clicked against the stone floor and moved closer and closer until they stopped five feet away from the group of friends. With the rest of the Great Hall empty, and most of the rest of that floor empty, they were rather loud but mostly unheard. 

“What on earth are you four doing?” McGonagall asked, staring at them. 

Not a single one looked up, though they all replied at the same time. “Homework.” 

“You are extremely loud,” she told them disapprovingly. “I’d appreciate it if you found something else to do. The elves will be setting up for dinner soon.” 

“We’re bored,” James said, looking up from his chocolate milk, which dribbled a little onto his neck. “There’s nothing to do.” 

“Go join your sister,” she suggested. “Or go outside. Quidditch tryouts are in an hour. Are you not interested?” 

James perked up and flew into an upright position, dropping the rest of his chocolate milk onto his lap in the process. “There is? No one told me!” 

“It’s on the announcement board,” Remus rolled his eyes, setting his book down. “I thought you’d seen it.” 

“You didn’t tell me?” James exclaimed, looking hurt. “You’ve betrayed my trust!” 

McGonagall cleared her throat. “I expect to see all of you there.” 

“Um, actually, I’m not going to try out,” Remus shook his head quickly. 

“Then I expect you to be doing something productive,” she declared before walking out of the room. With her gone, James jumped out of his seat excitedly. 

“Padfoot! We have to go try out!” 

“I’m working on something,” Sirius muttered back, not paying much attention. James tore Remus’s book away from the werewolf and threw it at Sirius, gathering his attention. “What the fuck, Prongs?” 

“Quidditch tryouts!” 

Sirius perked up. “When?” 

“In an hour,” Remus informed him, grabbing his book off the floor. “I’m going to go to the library to get some peace and quiet.” 

“But you have to tryout!” James huffed. 

“Prongs, I don’t think Quidditch is going to work around…” 

“Your furry little problem?” Sirius grinned, laughing at the glare he received. “He might be right.” 

“Fine, but you’ll come to our games, right?” 

“If you even get on the team,” Remus rolled his eyes, making his way out of the Great Hall before his friends could stop him. He turned a few corners until he got to the library. It was quieter than he’d expected, and when he went to Alexia’s table, he found it occupied by Alexia and Lucius Malfoy. They were whispering, but with the moon two days away, he could hear them easily before they could see him. 

“-promised you’d be careful,” Lucius was saying. Alexia looked tired and also somewhat ashamed. Remus could still see a bandage on her forehead covering an injury that wasn’t healed in time for dittany. “How did it happen?"

“He grabbed me,” she sighed. “I didn’t want to escalate the situation or make it worse and give him more reason to do what he did in the future.”

Remus frowned. A lot of the things he overheard her saying made no sense, but possibly that more than others. 

Lucius looked her in the eye seriously. “Listen to me. Nothing you’ve done now deserves what he did then.”

She shrugged, looking helpless and unsure. “We don’t know what happens before 1979. Maybe there is something that deserves… all of that. Besides, it was two sides fighting. Maybe he was just… fighting me because he was supposed to. Maybe it was coincidence.”

“Calling you Alexia was coincidence? Your name was Hermione. No one else called you Alexia. He knew what he was doing. There was no accident. Besides, he was not acting like he was fighting because he had to. Do you not remember what he said when Bellatrix left? ‘You’re almost there.’ He knew. He was waiting for you.”

She slumped in her seat and looked down at her hands that sat on the table. “Yeah. You’re right. I just feel like I’ve started something and there’s no way to take it back.”

“And you’re sure he’s alive and well?”

She let out a short laugh. “As far as I’m aware, he wasn’t arrested. We’d rounded everyone up into a room and put the wards back up but I didn’t see him there, and I don’t think he died. So he probably escaped.”

Lucius looked disappointed. “It’s one thing to deal with him here, but to have to go back to the future and-,”

Remus gasped as every niggling thought fell into place.  _ Alexia was from the future _ . 

And she had her wand trained on him. He offered her a shaky smile. “I’m sorry. I’m- I didn’t mean to-,”

Her arm fell to the side and she took a step back, having gotten out of her chair and rushed over to be able to see him. “Remus.”

“Hi?”

She fell back into her chair and put her head down onto her homework. “Fucking perfect.”

“Would you like me to go?” Lucius wondered, looking between her and Remus. She gave him a pleading look and he nodded once, not moving. 

“Alex… woah.”

“I think I have a headache,” she muttered. 

“I think that’s from the concussion,” Lucius told her. 

“Actually, I think it’s from my inability to  _ keep a fucking secret _ ,” she said in a huff. She sat up and looked at Remus. “Okay, go ahead.”

“Does James know?”

She shook her head. “My parents, Dumbledore, Lucius, and… Sirius. He found out at the ball. The family trees had my real birthdate.”

“And what is it?”

“19th September, 1979.”

“Oh my god,” he breathed. “This explains so much.”

“I’ve got the typical questions down from Sirius and Lucius,” she told him. “Yes, I knew you in the future. I knew a few of you. There was a war, that’s why I have PTSD.”

“What is PTSD?” Lucius wondered, curious. She looked at him and considered not answering. 

“It means post traumatic stress disorder,” she explained. “People can get it after they go through war, child abuse, sexual abuse, and many other things. It means nightmares, panic attacks, flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, and even mistrust. It’s extremely complicated and I have a headache so maybe we can talk about my mental illnesses another day.”

“Plural?” Remus wondered before he could stop himself. At her look, he nodded. “Sorry. So… when did you leave? What happened? Did you do this on purpose?”

“Okay. 1998, some asshole sent me back here-,”

“You have to let go of that-,”

“And no. If I could’ve, I wanted to go back right away, but I’m aware there’s currently no way to travel forward in time. Apparently, I leave in 1979, probably before my birthday.”

Remus took a second to take in her answers before asking another question. “What’s going on with Dolohov? Why is he so worried?” He asked, nodding at Lucius. It was Lucius who answered him, much to the apparent relief of Alexia.

“Dolohov has, in her time and our future, attacked her many times and even tried to kill her or kidnap her. He forced her to watch a friend die. On the last battle of her war, he called her Alexia when they fought, when her name, at the time, was Hermione Granger.”

“Oh,” he frowned. “And you’re concerned he’s going to hurt you again?”

“I’m concerned that I’ve started something that carries on for more than twenty years,” she confirmed, looking exhausted. “I have a lot more questions about everything than I do answers, and the more I dwell on it, the more it drives me crazy.”

“I won’t say anything,” Remus promised her sincerely. “This… can’t be easy, especially since you know us.” 

“You have no idea.” 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I warn that the Dolohov/Alexia pairing won't happen for A While? Probably, yeah. Oops. Anyway here's the Dolohov Thing. It changes, though! Just know that this entire fic was NOT supposed to go how it went lmao I made and abandoned like a shit ton of plans and this is how it ended up. This is why I have a What If series (most of which I haven't posted and what is posted is on fanfic. net.)


	11. Grab My Throat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some More Filler? Idk man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all did I really not tell you who the end pairing is? My bad lmao it's Antonin/Alexia. And for the record, there was a time when I hardcore considered making them poly and leaving her with Antonin and Lucius. Regulus deserves better but you'll see later, so.

**Chapter Eleven**

_ You were here when I wrote this _

_ But the masters and mixes will take too long to finish _

_ To show you _

**October 19th, 1972**

Lily Evans stood behind the couch, hands on hips and so angry that her face nearly matched the deep red of her curls. “James Potter!” 

The boy in question jumped so hard that he threw his quill across the room. “Geez, Evans, relax.” 

“I will not relax!” she snapped, holding up her potions book, which was tearing itself apart. “You did this!” 

James exchanged a startled look with Sirius. “Oh no… that was supposed to be Ash’s book.” 

“Fix it!” 

“It’s okay,” Sirius assured her quickly. “Once it finishes ripping itself up, it’ll put itself back together.” 

“No,” James whined suddenly. “We don’t get a point for this, do we?” 

“It wasn’t a successful prank,” Peter laughed. “You didn’t even prank the right person.” 

“This is ridiculous,” Lily glared. “I was trying to do my homework!” 

“You can borrow mine,” James offered, handing over his potions book. She took it and turned to run up the stairs without another word. “Rude.” 

“You destroyed her book,” Remus told him, sounding bored. 

“She didn’t even say thank you!” 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

**October 21st, 1972**

Alexia and Sirius stood outside of the Great Hall, peeking around the corner to watch James, Remus, and Peter as they ate their breakfast. Slowly, their clothes changed colors, and Alex pointed her wand at each of them and cast a spell that stuck their clothes to them. When all was said and done, the three boys wore Slytherin robes and had no way of taking them off. Sirius waved his wand at them, and suddenly their skin and hair matched the green of their robes. 

When the people around them burst out laughing, they noticed what had happened. Before they could be found out, Alex and Sirius ran up the nearby stairs as fast as they could and raced to the Gryffindor common rooms, where they marked another line under each of their names on the announcement board. 

It had been Gideon’s idea to put their names on the board when all of Gryffindor had found out what was happening. There were bets being placed, and Alexia was proud to say that she was tied with Sirius both in the bets and on the board. The board could only be marked by each Marauder and only under their names. Each prank had to be reviewed by an outside source - the Prewett twins - before the mark was official. 

They’d set up a nice system for their pranks and with school in full swing, they were all taking advantage of it. 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

**October 31st, 1972**

Halloween day was filled with pranks and… detention. They had the day off school and all five Marauders had spent the majority of it in detention after a dramatic prank that lit up the Great Hall during breakfast… literally. Every surface in the place had emitted a bright white light, and Sirius had explained how everyone had died suddenly and that they were in heaven. After taking ten minutes to reverse the spellwork, the five kids were escorted to Dumbledore’s office where he gave them a halfhearted speech about not scaring people and then assigned them one single detention for it all. 

They were out by lunch, much to McGonagall’s disappointment, and they went about their day normally. 

Alexia tugged James aside and sat with him in the Room of Requirement for four hours, just feeling the need to be close to her brother on what she’d always known as the anniversary of his death. They spent time muttering to one another about their lives before they met, something they hadn’t done much of. 

When dinner came and passed, they finally left the room to go back to the common room, where they found a game of truth or dare being played by all of the second year Gryffindor students and Marlene, who was an honorary Gryffindor. 

“Padfoot!” James exclaimed, hand on his chest. “Why didn’t you tell us?” 

“We  _ tried _ ,” he huffed. “We couldn’t find you anywhere.” 

“Well, we’re joining,” he told them firmly, plopping down between Lily and Sirius. Alexia rolled her eyes and sat with Remus, leaning against the wall behind her. 

“Okay,” Mary said, getting their attention. “Frank, truth or dare?” 

“Dare,” the boy decided, though he looked uncertain. 

Mary’s eyes sparkled evilly. “I dare you to speak only in Latin for the next three turns.” 

“Mary,” Lily stared. “None of us know fluent Latin!” 

“I know.” 

Frank let out a sigh. “Bene… Alice, veritatem vel provocatio?”

Alice giggled. “I assume that means truth or dare?” At his nod, she hummed. “Truth.” 

“Si quis hoc loco semper habuisse, qui esset?”

Alice frowned and Alexia sighed, waving her wand at Frank. “ _ Transferendum _ .” The words he’d just spoken appeared above his head in English. It was a bit confused because of his limited Latin, but the general question game through - if she had to live with one person in the room forever, who would it be?

“Hey!” Mary exclaimed. “That’s cheating!” 

“Mary, I love you, but we’d get nowhere without translation,” Alexia shook her head. “He still has to say it in Latin, so it works. We just don’t have to strain to understand.” 

When she looked like she was going to argue more, Emmaline put a hand on her friend’s shoulder. “Seriously, love. Let it go.” 

“Marlene,” Alice decided firmly. “Can we move on?” 

“Oh, I’m touched,” Marlene smirked. 

The game continued on for another half hour before it got to Sirius, who would end the game. 

“Sirius,” Marlene grinned. “Truth or dare?” 

“Dare. I’m no wimp.” 

“I dare you to kiss Alex on the mouth.” 

Sirius hesitated and glanced at James, who looked horrified. “That’s my best mate’s sister, Marls.” 

“I know.” 

Sirius scooted over to sit anxiously across from Alexia, who only looked annoyed. “Sorry, kitten.” 

“Get it over with,” she requested. He nodded and leaned in slowly, hoping that something would stop them before their lips touched. Nothing did, and his lips brushed against hers softly for only a moment. Still, in that moment, there was a spark that came to life inside not only him but inside Alexia as well. A string tugged at both of them until it was tight against each of their souls. 

Sirius scrambled back and stared at her with wide, terrified eyes. “Ash?” 

She looked back for only a moment before she got to her feet and rushed out of the common room without a word. Everyone was silent for a moment before James smacked Sirius. “You scared her!” 

“Well, that was no fun,” Marlene whined. 

“It’s getting late, anyway,” Lily sighed. “James, do you wanna go look for her together?” 

“Yeah,” he nodded, helping her to her feet. The pair made their way out of the common room, leaving the mood of the game dead. 

As everyone got to their feet, Sirius rushed up to his dorm and began pacing, fighting the panic that was rising in his chest. He was only alone for barely a minute before Remus closed and locked the door behind him. 

“What the hell was that?” he demanded. “She’s terrified!” 

Sirius spun around to look at his friend. “We ignited a soul bond, Moony.” 

“Oh,  _ shit _ .”

“What the fuck are we supposed to do?” he shouted, throwing his hands up as he let out some more of his frustration and fear. “We’re thirteen!” 

“She’s an adult,” Remus reminded him. “Just… wait until she gets back to the future?” 

Sirius paused. “You know?”

“You don’t know I know?” 

“Oh, thank Merlin,” he sagged in relief. “I can’t have a soul bond with her, Remus, even in the future.” 

“ _ Why _ ? You’ll both be adults!” 

“But I’m  _ dead _ .” 

Remus’s breath caught. His friend was dead. His friend was dead and Alexia hadn’t told him.

“She’s trying to change it,” he continued. “But I’m not sure it’ll work. I don’t even think I have enough information to change it, Moony. I took a Vow but I don’t… I don’t know.” 

“So you just need to learn more about it. Does she have more she can tell you?” 

“Well, apparently, she saw it.” 

Suddenly, Remus understood why Alexia occasionally got sad when looking at Sirius. Not only had he died, but she’d watched him die. “Maybe… maybe we should ask to see the memory.” 

“I don’t wanna watch myself die!” 

“It’s not on my bucket list either, Sirius, but apparently we need to.”

Sirius sighed, leaning his head against the wall and closing his eyes. “It’s not just that.”

“Then what is it?” 

“It’s my family,” he admitted. “How I was raised. I don’t want her to be stuck with such… darkness.” 

“You can’t decide who your soulmate is, Pads,” Remus said with little sympathy. “And from what she’s told me and what I’ve noticed, she’s seen plenty of darkness. Maybe you need each other.” 

“Let’s just… we’ll get the memory tomorrow. I don’t want to deal with the bond right now.” 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to put it off.” 

“I don’t really care.” 

“Fine. Just the memory. But you’ll have to deal with it sometime, Sirius.” 

“I know.” 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

**November 5th, 1972**

Alexia had been avoiding Sirius ever since their kiss. It had been admittedly harder than she’d expected. He’d actively been seeking her out, and it had surprised her. Since she’d known him, he’d always avoided hard conversations. She remembered once asking him about Regulus after finding his bedroom and he’d claimed he needed to clean his bathroom. She’d been so surprised that she’d actually laughed. 

The library was no longer safe as he’d come looking for her there many times, which just left the Room of Requirement as her only hideout. She’d spent the entire day there and had only left to sneak out to the kitchens for food, which had been nerve-wracking, to say the least. Logically she understood she couldn’t avoid him forever, nor could she hide away for much longer. She needed a change of clothes and a shower, and she could only get those in her dorm. 

At 9:30 she made her way back to the Gryffindor common room where, as she suspected, she ran into Sirius. Remus was with him, looking sick and anxious. She put her bag on the table and sat down, waiting for what she’d been avoiding. She gave a spare thought to the fact that Sirius must’ve told Remus, but she didn’t have enough energy to care.

“Hey, Alex,” Remus greeted, sitting down next to her. She bumped his shoulder quietly as Sirius came to stand in front of her, wringing his hands together. “We have a big favor to ask you.” 

Lexi looked at him, confused. “You do?” 

“Yeah. So… Sirius told me that you told him he dies.” 

“Oh.” 

“And you asked him to take a Vow. Thing is, Ash, he can’t uphold that Vow without more information.” 

She blinked. “You want me to tell you what happened exactly?”

“We’d like if you could show us,” Remus corrected. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but if we want to keep him alive…”

“No, yeah,” she nodded, shifting to sit up straighter. “But I don’t know how to show you both at once.”

“It’s possible… for us both to cast Legilimens,” Sirius spoke up. “We’d both see it.” 

“Okay.” 

The boys exchanged a glance and Sirius took a minute to teach his friend the spell before they both sat in front of her and cast it at the same time. The memory began playing immediately. 

The boys watched as she fought Lucius and was captured by Dolohov. Neither of them missed the way he kissed her neck or the creepy words he whispered to her. Both Hermione and Dolohov were distracted by Sirius dueling his twisted cousin. When the red light of the stunner hit Sirius’s chest, he fell back into the Veil. Alexia let the memory continue to show Remus the way he’d held Harry back from chasing his godfather in before she kicked them from her mind. 

“Holy shit,” Sirius breathed. Remus nodded along. 

“Who was that… who ran after him?” the werewolf asked cautiously. 

“That was Harry,” she said slowly, frowning. “He’s James’s son. Sirius was his godfather.”

“Where the hell was James?” Sirius demanded. 

“He was fighting somewhere else,” she lied. “Anyway, the most important thing is that you don’t get hit by that stunner, okay?” 

“Alex,” Remus said softly, grabbing her hand. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine,” she answered, her voice shaking. The memory hurt even more since she knew Sirius was apparently her bond mate- her soulmate. “Do you guys have any other questions?”

“What the hell was Dolohov doing?” Sirius asked sharply. She looked up in surprise. 

“I don’t… really know. In another memory from right before I arrived in the past, he called me Alexia. And we know he knows me. He’s got some sort of obsession with me… he’s attacked me many times. He almost killed me once. Remus, you actually saved me. I owe you a life debt.” 

“You don’t- I didn’t- I haven’t- n-no,” Remus sputtered, managing to make Alexia smile slightly. 

“I owe you a life debt in 1998. Don’t worry, Moony, I know you won’t use it for anything untoward.” Remus blushed and her smile grew, especially because she knew he had Tonks to look forward to. “Is that all? I’d like to get to bed.” 

“Yeah,” Remus agreed. “Me too. Goodnight, Ash.” 

“Night, Remus.” 

She watched him make his way up the stairs and then grabbed her bag and turned to go up to her dorm. Sirius’s hand grabbed her wrist, and she turned around to look at him. He seemed to be struggling with what to say, and she waited patiently. 

“Lexi… are we okay?” 

“We’re okay,” she agreed. “We don’t… things are complicated, okay? And we’re young - you’re young - so we just don’t need to worry about it for now.” 

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.” 

“We can talk about it when we’re older or when I get back to my time.” 

“But we’re still… friends? We’re all good?” 

“All good,” she promised, giving him a smile. “I promise.” 

“Okay. Goodnight, kitten.” 

“Goodnight, Padfoot.” 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

**November 16th, 1972**

The friend group returned to normal soon after the conversation in the common room, and they were back to talking and laughing as if nothing had changed. 

But Alexia did have one other rather large problem that was leading her to avoid a different friend. It wasn’t until she found herself in her dorm with Lily and Emmaline that she broke down and asked for advice. 

“Geez, Lexi, what’s wrong with you?” Emmaline asked with a raised eyebrow. She turned to her friend and saw Lily looking at her in worry as well. 

“What do you guys think of boys?” 

Lily blushed, but Emmaline grinned wickedly. “I think Remus is rather fit, don’t you?” 

“Ew!” she shook her head quickly. “Ew, no, not Remus.” 

“I don’t know about boys,” Lily tried, though her blush told the truth. 

“Lily likes James.” 

Alexia’s eyes widened. “Oh my god. Really?” 

“Sometimes,” her friend confirmed before frowning. “Other times he’s just such a prat. He’s mostly okay with you. He turns into such a good, kind person with you.”

“Yeah, that’s Jamie,” Lexi sighed. “I think he likes you, too.” 

“Why do you ask?” Lily wondered, shifting the topic away from her own crush. 

“I don’t know. Aren’t we a bit young to be worrying about boys?” 

“You’re thirteen,” Emmaline reasoned. “So am I. I think it’s a perfectly good age to begin worrying about boys or girls. Who are  _ you _ worrying about?” 

Alexia paused. “Lucius.” Two sets of squealing and three minutes later and she was given a moment to speak again. “Relax! It’s not like he likes me or anything. I can’t help it. It’s just… a harmless crush.” 

“Oh, he definitely likes you,” Emmaline nodded quickly. “Did your parents give you lessons on courting?” 

“Just a couple quick ones, mostly because they think it’s outdated. Why?” 

“Because he’s definitely in the beginning steps of courting.” 

She stared in shock at her friend. “What?” 

“He compliments you, he carries your books, he offered to take you for hot cocoa over break, and I’ll bet you anything he bought you a Christmas present.” 

“I bought him a Christmas present last year! It’s just a present, Emma.” 

“No, she’s right,” Lily nodded along. “It was in that book your mum gave me. He likes you!” 

“But… I’ve got this… _ thing _ with Sirius,” she sighed. “You guys can’t say anything to anyone, especially Jamie.” 

“We promise!” 

“When Marls dared Sirius to kiss me… it ignited a soul bond,” she told them. The pair stared at her with wide eyes and she nodded. “We agreed to just live our lives however we will for now, but doesn’t it make dating anyone else sort of… pointless? Besides, Lucius and I could never be together for that long, anyway. He has to court and marry the perfect pureblood princess, and I’m a blood traitor.” 

“I hate that term,” Emmaline scowled. “I don’t think it’s pointless, though. Do you want to go through life having only been in a single relationship, just because you know that’s where you’ll end up? You’ll miss the entire journey if you focus only on the end destination.” 

“She has a good point,” Lily agreed. “I say go for it. It’s not like you have to marry him.” 

“Maybe,” she sighed. “I want to focus on making sure Sirius and I are okay for now. Maybe if I still feel this way next year, we can go to Hogsmeade together.” 

“What’s Hogsmeade?” Lily wondered. 

The girls set into explaining as they finished their nighttime routines and as Alexia laid in bed before falling asleep, she found she felt a million times better about the entire situation. 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

**December 13th, 1972**

Regulus was on his way to the Great Hall when it happened. Two fourth year Gryffindor boys cornered him and began hexing him. They gave no reason for the treatment and he assumed it was simply because of his House. He was fumbling for his wand when both boys froze in place before falling to the ground with a thud. He looked up to find a  _ very _ angry Alexia standing with her wand out in front of her and her hair sparking like mad. 

“From my own House,” she huffed angrily as she paced over to them. When she got there, she cast another spell, and the two turned near invisible. She shoved them into a nearby alcove before finally turning to Regulus, who was still looking at her in surprise. “Regulus. I’m so sorry. Are you hurt?” 

“I can handle a few hexes,” he said, a bit defensive. He was never very good at being taken care of or worried about. 

“I don’t doubt it,” she agreed. “So can I. But that doesn’t mean I don’t like to get them healed as soon as possible. Are you hurt?” 

He nodded and tilted his head to the sight to show her where they’d burned him a bit, as well as singing off some of his hair. She winced but brought her wand up to quickly heal the burn. “Thank you.” 

“I can even out your hair, too,” she offered. “I’ve given a few haircuts before.” 

“How bad is it?” 

“A bit obvious,” she admitted. 

He sighed. “If it’s not a bother, thank you.”

She nodded and carefully removed the strip of leather he used to pull his hair back and began trimming the hair to be even. When she finished, she tied the hair back up for him. “There you go.”

“Thank you,” he bowed his head. “What are you doing down here?” 

“Oh, I had some extra credit for Slughorn I forgot to turn in,” she rolled her eyes. “I’m here to sweet talk him into taking it.” 

“You are in his Slug Club,” Regulus pointed out. “I’m sure he won’t mind.” 

“Here’s hoping,” she shrugged. “Are you alright? You can come with me if you’d like.” 

“Sure,” he agreed, sparing a glance at the boys. “What have you done to them?” 

“It’s a modified stunner,” she waved him off. “It’ll wear off in two hours, then their only problem is finding a teacher to take off the disillusionment.” 

“Merlin,” he let out a short, startled laugh as if he didn’t do it often. 

Alexia winked at him and turned to head to the potions room where Regulus watched her talk with Slughorn. The old man accepted her obvious lie easily and took the roll of parchment to grade. When she came back over to him, he walked with her quietly for a long minute. They were heading to the Great Hall and were nearby when he spoke again.

“How are you doing in potions?”

“Well, actually,” she grinned at him. “Severus and Lucius have been a big help. I actually understand it much better than I expected to.” 

“May I ask you a question?” he requested suddenly. She paused to look at him. 

“Sure.” 

“Why are you so nice to us?” he took a second to organize his thoughts as the question had come out in a bit of a rush. “What I mean to ask is why don’t you buy into the rivalry? My own brother doesn’t talk to me much anymore just because I’m in Slytherin.”

“My mum was a Slytherin,” she frowned at him. “And I almost was, too. I’d have gone there but I didn’t want to be separated from Jamie, so I threatened the hat and it put me in Gryffindor. You, Lucius, Severus, you’re all just people, kids, just like me. It’s ridiculous to write you all off just because you wear a green tie Monday to Friday. You’re my friends, Regulus. I really couldn’t care less what House you’re in. And I’d like to make it clear that Sirius is just an idiot and he’s really rather caught up in his own thing right now. I’m sure he doesn’t mean to ignore you.” 

“I’m glad to be your friend,” he decided, smiling at her. She nodded firmly and took his arm and walked with him into the Great Hall, talking quietly together. When they finally separated, she took her seat next to Sirius and James, who had watched her make her way in. Dinner was nearly finished and the Hall was, for the most part, empty. 

“What were you talking to him for?” Sirius hissed. Alexia raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Your brother? The terrified first year that I just saved from being hexed by fourth years? My  _ friend _ ?” 

“He was being hexed?” he asked her, startled. She nodded. 

“I stunned them and helped him clean up. It’s why we were late. Why are you avoiding him, Sirius? He’s your brother.” 

“You never want to avoid James?” he defended and she shrugged. 

“Not really, no.” 

“Okay, but you didn’t exactly grow up with him,” he pointed out. “Did you have any siblings before?” 

“Nope.” 

“See, you wouldn’t understand,” Sirius said firmly as if he’d won. 

“I really want to know,” she pushed. “Why are you avoiding him? It’s not like he hasn’t noticed. It’s upsetting him. He even mentioned it to me.” 

“I don’t know, Ash,” Sirius deflated. “He had a whole year with our mother alone. I have no clue the things she might’ve told him. I don’t want him to call me a blood traitor or anything.” 

“Sirius, that’s ridiculous,” she scoffed. “He hasn’t called me a blood traitor. In fact, he just called me his friend. Go talk to your damn brother.” 

Sirius just made a face at her and turned back to his food. She stuck her tongue out at him and ate her meal silently, angry with her friend for avoiding his lonely brother. 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

**December 20th, 1972**

The library was quiet per usual, but much more abandoned. Finals were over for the term, and that meant that class was over as well. Most students were preparing to go home for the holidays or spending time with their friends. Alexia, however, was in the library with her friends, digging through all the books on memory manipulation that Dorea could find to send to her. She’d even gone to her vaults where she’d kept many of the books she’d taken from the Black library in Black Manor. 

Severus, Lucius, and Regulus were all keeping her company while she worked, slowly and painstakingly digging through the mountain of books she wanted to finish reading before the end of the school year. 

“What is she doing?” Regulus whispered to Lucius, who looked up from his own book - a biography of the last Headmaster that he’d grabbed with no real intention to read. 

“I’m never quite certain, but she definitely has some sort of goal,” he shrugged. “Alexia, why do you need this many books on memory manipulation?” 

She looked up with wide eyes as she processed his question and shook herself. “Research.” 

“Yes, Alex, but for what?” Severus laughed a little, pulling her book from her hands. “A lot of this is concepts far beyond even NEWT level.” 

“Okay,” she sat back with a frown. “Consider this. Someone is tortured until they lose their mind. They’re still alive, but there’s not much there anymore. If we got to them ahead of time, is there a way to preserve what’s there if we know we cannot prevent the torture?” 

“Occlumency,” Regulus answered easily. “It’s not just for protecting your mind from invasion, it can also hold things. I’ve heard of people that witnessed horrible things locking away their memories like that.” 

Alexia’s eyes sharpened on him hopefully, her goal shifting for a moment. “Wait, What? Really? You can- you can do that? How?” 

“Well, it takes work,” he admitted. “Sometimes there’s trauma, and when there’s trauma, memories latch onto it tightly, so someone would have to carefully break them apart.” 

“Why can’t you just tuck it away without doing that?” 

“Because then… have you heard of PTSD?” 

She frowned in surprise. “Yes, actually. How do you know of it?” 

“My Uncle Alphard used to take Sirius and I to a public library,” he said. “I found the human brain very interesting.” 

“Huh.” 

“Anyways, if you just tucked away the memory without removing it from the trauma, you’d still have the reactions that it causes but no way of knowing how or why or how to deal with it.” 

“So doing this, do you forget what happened?” 

“No,” he disagreed thoughtfully. “I think it’s more like you remember it, but you don’t care as much.” 

Alexia nodded slowly. “And how would you go about doing this again?” 

“You’d need someone else to do it for you. If you tried doing it, you could damage not only the bad memories but all of your other memories as well.” 

She tried not to show her disappointment. “Right. Well… what about my initial question?” 

“Oh, of course,” he shook himself, thinking back. “Well, it would take time. You would create rooms, essentially, in their minds and they’d have to put their memories inside, sort of like a backup for the general Occlumency shields.”

“Huh,” she nodded slowly. “Thank you, Reg.”

Regulus tilted his head at her. “This isn’t hypothetical, is it?” 

She ignored him and went back to reading. At his irritated sigh, Severus nodded. 

“You’ll get used to it.” 

OoOoOoOoOoOo


	12. Spirits In My Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OOP it's the curse

**Chapter Twelve**

_ Though I’m far from home, in TRENCH I’m not alone _

_ These faces facing me, they know, they know, what I mean. _

**December 31st, 1972**

Just like the year before, the week leading up to the New Year’s Ball was chaos. Just like the year before, Sirius, Remus, Lily, and Severus stayed with them, though this time, Peter joined everyone at Potter Manor as well, having begged his parents to let him go straight over on the morning after Christmas. 

Alexia had bought everyone gifts once more, ranging from broom service kits for James and Sirius to go along with the brooms Charlus had gotten them both to a rare first edition copy of Hogwarts: A History for Lily. Severus had received a cauldron that would repair itself from any damage and that was engraved. At the base of the cauldron, it read “For my friend Severus. Your lessons will stay with me always, just as my love for you shall stay with you always.” 

She’d given Remus two warm sweaters along with a pile of chocolate and a silver ring that held his initials and red and brown stones. Lucius had been given a note promising a visit to Diagon Alley the next day for cocoa to give him his real gift, and he’d sent her a pensieve, much to everyone’s surprise. Finally, she’d given Regulus a holster for his wand that went on his wrist, along with a note with the specific spell she’d cast for the time release stunner and a promise to teach it to him when they got back to school. 

The kids had been spoiled for Christmas by Charlus and Dorea as well. They’d carefully picked out heartfelt gifts for each of them. Alexia had been given a necklace that she’d always seen Dorea wearing with special instructions to never take it off, as well as a partially filled photobook with pictures of her and her friends and family since she’d arrived in the past. She was given ten pages for each year she was meant to be there, and while she wouldn’t admit it, she’d shed a few tears as she looked at the picture of her and James being squeezed in a hug by their parents.

The day of the Ball was organized chaos. Everyone scurried about as they tried to finish their assigned tasks in time to get ready and be presentable before any guests began to arrive. Using her advanced magic Alexia finished her task of hanging the fairy lights around the entire ballroom ceiling rather quickly and sped up to her bedroom to begin dressing and putting on her minimal makeup. Still, by the time she was finished, she came downstairs to find the Longbottoms, the Prewetts, and the Malfoys already there, as well as Narcissa, Andromeda, and Bellatrix, who made her sick to look at. 

She stood in the doorway, watching as the groups mingled awkwardly. With so few people there so far, it was impolite to ignore one another, and she found herself hiding her laughter at the sight of Cygnus kissing Lady Longbottom’s hand while she scowled at him. 

“It is quite rude to stare.” 

Alexia jumped and turned to find Lucius laughing quietly at her. “Oh, Merlin. I thought you were my mum.”

“Just me,” he assured her, offering her his arm. She took it gratefully but paused. 

“I don’t want to be in there yet. Not with… not yet.” 

“Then perhaps you should show me to the coat room,” he suggested. “So that I can ensure my coat has not been misplaced.” 

She smiled cheekily at him as she led him out of the ballroom and around the corner. “So, you don’t trust our elves?” 

“I prefer to do things for myself,” he disagreed as she showed him to the mostly empty coat room. “How are you doing?” 

“I’m mostly exhausted,” she shrugged. “It’s hard to get much privacy around here with so many people staying. Peter has wandered into my room  _ twice _ because he was lost.”

Lucius’s polite smile slipped as he started to laugh. “Lock your door?” 

“I tried that,” she rolled her eyes. “Jamie knows how to unlock it, and so does everyone but probably Peter. It’s pointless. I hate to say it, but I can’t wait to get back to school.” 

An elf popped in and let out a squeak when she landed on Lucius’s foot. “Mipsy is so sorry!” 

“That’s quite alright,” he assured her. “We shouldn’t be in here anyway.” 

The elf looked between him and Alexia and narrowed her eyes. “Does Lady Dorea be knowing about this?” 

“Mipsy, it’s not-,” 

“She does not!” the elf exclaimed loudly, scandalized. Before Alexia could say anything else, the elf popped back out, and Alexia closed her eyes to take a deep breath. 

“Bloody nosy elves,” she muttered. “We’d better get back before mum comes looking.” 

Lucius offered his arm again and she decided to ignore his small, amused smile. When they got back to the ballroom, the rest of the kids had filled in, along with Walburga, Orion, and Regulus and a few other families, like the Bones’. 

“Hey, kitten,” Sirius greeted, looking from her to Lucius before settling his eyes uncomfortably on her. “Uh- have you seen… um…”

“Your mum is across the room talking to Narcissa, I believe,” she answered, feeling a bit uncomfortable herself. She’d decided to live her life, that was true, but doing that in front of Sirius apparently made her uncomfortable. “So is your dad. I haven’t seen Regulus yet, though.” 

“He’s with Severus,” Lucius filled in for her. She offered him a smile.

“I’m going to go make sure Lily’s doing okay,” she told him. He nodded and released her hand and she swept away from the awkward situation. Lily was nearby, and apparently, had been watching. 

“Oh my god, Lils,” she breathed in relief upon finding her friend. “Did you see-,” 

“That hot mess? Oh yeah,” Lily nodded quickly. “Are they- what are they doing?” 

Alexia turned around to see Sirius and Lucius making long, stiff eye contact. After a long minute, Sirius turned around without a word and walked away to the punch bowl. Alexia threw her head back and groaned. 

“Maybe it’s not as bad as it looks?” 

“They just had a full on stare down, Lily! What is wrong with him? We said we were fine.” 

“Maybe he doesn’t want to be fine like that,” Lily suggested. “Maybe he likes you.” 

“But I don’t like him! Well… I do, but not as much as I like Lucius,” she whined, feeling a little dizzy. “I don’t want to be with him now. What do I do?” 

“Don’t be with him?” Lily stared at her like it was obvious. “Look, he’s my friend, but you need to do what’s good for you. What you want, Lexi. What do you want?” 

“I don’t want to be with Sirius right now,” she said slowly, thinking it through. “I think I want to see what I can have with Lucius.” 

“Good,” Lily smiled brightly. “Then it’s settled. Besides, Sirius isn’t brave enough to date you now. James would murder him.” 

Alexia smiled a little. “Yeah. You’re right.” 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

An hour later and all of the guests, good and bad alike, had arrived. Dorea had greeted everyone and the dancing had begun, much to almost every child’s dismay. Shoes were uncomfortable and the room was hot and the clothes were thick and sweaty. There was enough room, at the very least, and it meant that while the people dancing were in a bit of a crowd, there was still room enough to move around a bit without bumping into anyone else. 

Alexia danced with all of her friends before she was forced to begin dancing with the strangers. She’d escaped the duty the year before simply because of the events of the night, but she had no excuse anymore. 

“May I have this dance?” Fabian asked formally, grinning at her. She breathed out in relief and spun into his arms. “You okay, Pip? Overwhelmed?” 

“Very,” she agreed. “My feet hurt, Fab.” 

“So you’d like me to spin you?” 

She narrowed her eyes. “I’ll hex your bollocks off, I swear to god.” 

He let out a loud laugh. “I’ve no doubt you would. How many have you danced with so far?” 

“I think I’ve lost count,” she whined, dropping her head against his chest, much to his amusement. “Please, send Gideon after me in ten minutes. Or you. You’re identical.” 

“Wonderful observation.” 

“Fab, please,” she begged, looking up at him with wide eyes. 

“Whatever you say, boss. Rescue coming in ten.” 

“ _ Thank you _ ,” she said before being pulled away to another dance by Frank. They chatted politely, and when it was done, someone grabbed her hand and pulled her in for the next dance. She did her best not to scowl and turned to them with a smile… until she saw who it was. 

“Alexia,” Dolohov smiled down at her. “How are you doing? I heard you took a tumble down the stairs.” 

“Stay away from me,” she muttered, tugging her arm away. His grip on her tightened significantly, and she found herself stuck against him once more. Her heart raced with panic, but her logical mind tried to calm her. They were in a room full of people. He couldn’t do anything there. 

“I think I need a break from dancing,” he told her, wrapping an arm around her back to walk beside her as he shoved her out of the room, narrowly dodging the people around them. “Let’s get some air, shall we?” 

“Let go of me, Dolohov,” she hissed, trying to tear herself away. She felt something pop in her wrist when he tugged her closer and she bit her lip, unwilling to give him the satisfaction of knowing he’d hurt her. “I’ll scream.” 

One hand slipped off of her and she thought he was giving up, but instead, she felt his wand poke her ribs. “ _ Silencio _ . No, you won’t scream…  _ Incarcerous _ .”

He got ahold of her tightly again and once they were clear of the ballroom, he pulled her along toward the staircase. She did her best not to cooperate, but it was either walk up the stairs or be dragged. With what she figured was a broken wrist already, she didn’t feel like being injured further and just allowed him to lead her along. Her lungs strained as her breathing quickened, and she felt tears sting at her eyes the farther they got away from people that could help her. 

Soon, they were to the second floor where he pulled her into the nearest room, which happened to be hers. He shoved her away and locked the door, and she looked to her bedside table where she’d left her wand. She rushed for it, but he grabbed the ropes that bound her hands and pulled her back. 

“Ah,” he shook his head. “So rude. I’m a guest in your home, Potter. You should ask me why I’m here.” He paused, presumably for effect, before he laughed. “That’s right. You can’t. I’m here because I don’t think you got my message before. I just want to ensure that it… sinks in.” 

He released her hands and she backed away from him as he raised his wand and began casting. 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

“Oh,  _ fuck _ ,” Remus groaned. “Pads, where’s Alex?” 

“I don’t know,” his friend replied, annoyed as he had been all night. 

“Sirius,  _ where the fuck is she _ ?” 

Sirius straightened. “I don’t know. Why? What is it?” 

“She’s terrified,” Remus told him. “Split up, find her.” 

Sirius agreed and the pair ran in opposite directions. While Remus went to Severus, Sirius went and asked every friend of hers if they’d seen her. Which, unfortunately, included Lucius. 

“Have you seen Lexi?” he asked in a rush, the worry clear on his face. 

“Not since earlier. What’s wrong?” 

“She’s- something’s wrong,” he shook his head. “We can’t find her.” 

“I’ll help,” the blonde nodded once. As much as Sirius wanted to say no, he was more worried for Alexia than he was insistent upon avoiding Lucius. He agreed and rushed off with Lucius behind him. When he spotted Remus talking to one of the Prewett twins, they rushed over. 

“-ten minutes,” he was saying with a frown. “But when I went to find her, she was leaving with Dolohov.” 

“Oh, fuck,” Sirius whispered, taking off. He ran out of the ballroom with the others behind him. “How the fuck are we supposed to find her?” 

“Check the second floor and then the library,” Remus suggested, rushing to the stairs, which he took two at a time. They rushed around the corner and slammed into the first room where they found nothing. The next room, directly across the hall, was Lexi’s. When they opened the door, they found her on the floor with blood pooled around her. 

The first to reach her was Lucius, and he had his wand out in moments as he looked over her injuries and healed what he could. The wounds were closed with some difficulty, and he sprayed a gentle stream of water to get the blood off her face. “Alexia,” he whispered, gently touching her face. “Hey, wake up. You’re okay.” 

Alexia stirred, and she did open her eyes, though she flinched hard and shoved herself away from Lucius, holding herself close together. She was breathing much too quick, and Lucius put his hands up. 

“Alexia, it’s okay,” he assured her softly. “We’re not going to hurt you. You’re safe now.” 

“Did-,” she looked up to see Remus and Sirius staring at her with wide, worried eyes. “James.” 

“James?” Remus frowned. 

“Is he- oh my god,” she scrambled to get to her feet, but when she leaned on her hand, it gave out and she fell with a short cry. “Shit. Is he okay? Is he safe?” 

“He was fine,” Remus assured her. “Why wouldn’t he be?” 

“Oh, god,” she whispered. “We have to find him.” 

“You need to rest,” Sirius disagreed. 

“We have to find him, Sirius!” she snapped, getting to her feet successfully this time. “I’m going to find him.” 

“Hey, we’re with you,” Lucius assured her. “But tell us why we need to find him?” 

She hesitated. “I can’t.” 

“Alex, we know Dolohov did this,” Remus said slowly. “It’s okay.” 

“It wasn’t him,” she glared. “We have to find Jamie.” 

“Okay,” Lucius nodded, offering her his arm. She took it, using it mostly to stay on her feet. Her body was shaking badly and as much as he didn’t want to, Lucius knew she’d been exposed to the Cruciatus, even for just a moment. He helped her carefully down the stairs and disillusioned her before entering the ballroom - the last thing they needed was for her to walk into the ball with blood all over her skin and dress. 

The group searched for ten minutes before they finally found James arguing with Avery in the back of the room. 

“What did you do?” James growled. “What was that?” 

“Let me go, Potter,” Avery said with narrowed eyes. “Do you want to ruin your parents’ ball?” 

“Jamie,” Alexia gasped, rushing forward. She fell into his confused arms, but he closed them around her, able to see her thanks to the lessons from the Prewett twins. 

“Holy shit, Lex,” he stared at her in concern. “What happened?” 

“She was attacked by Dolohov,” Sirius ground out. Alexia turned to look at Avery and dropped her disillusionment. Her boys crowded around her to block her from view of anyone else. 

“Did you do it?” she asked fearfully. The boy nodded once and she let out a small whimper. “It wasn’t Dolohov.” 

“Antonin has been with me,” Yaxley told them, walking up with the boy in question. “Is there a problem?” 

“No,” Alexia said hurriedly. 

“Lexi,” Sirius stared. “What the hell did he do?” 

“He didn’t do anything,” she snapped. 

“Why don’t we get you upstairs again so you can clean yourself up?” James suggested gently, sensing her fear. She nodded quickly and tried to move away. Lucius barely had time to disillusion her once more before she entered the crowd and made her way out of the ballroom. Her friends followed her and when they reached her room, she grabbed some clothes and stepped into the bathroom to take a quick shower. 

“Why won’t she admit it?” Sirius asked, frustrated. “Fabian said he saw her leaving with Dolohov.” 

“James,” Lucius looked at the worried boy. “What were you doing with Avery?” 

“He cast some sort of spell on me,” he shrugged. “But it didn’t seem to do anything.” 

“Perhaps Dolohov threatened you,” Lucius hummed. “And that is why she refuses to admit it was him.” 

“What did he do to her?” James asked nervously. Lucius hesitated, glancing at the bathroom door. 

“Nothing that she can’t heal from. Do you know where her bag is?” 

“Over there,” James nodded at the windowsill. Lucius went over and pointed his wand into the bag, summoning a familiar potion along with a calming drought. Both boys tensed as they understood. 

“He  _ tortured _ her?” Sirius shouted furiously. 

“Only for a moment, I believe,” Lucius told him. “But it was enough to burn away the potion she’d already taken today. She needs to take this as soon as she gets out, and someone needs to get an extra from Madame Pomfrey or she’ll be short a potion before break ends.” 

“So she can’t say anything,” James said slowly. “But we can. We can tell my parents.” 

“We don’t know how the spell works,” Lucius said regretfully. “We don’t know what it’ll do.” 

“It can’t be that bad,” James denied. 

Lucius fixed him with a serious look. “Dolohov just tortured your sister in her own home. Do you really think he would hesitate to kill you to keep her quiet? Or her?”

James’s mouth opened a little in surprise as the logic got through to him. “I don’t want him to hurt her again.” 

“Then everyone will watch out for her,” Sirius decided firmly. “We don’t leave her alone.” 

“We can’t tell mum and dad, then,” James said, looking horrified. “They’ll want to do more.” 

“Keep it secret and protect her,” Sirius nodded. “But what do we do about the rest of the ball?” 

“Someone can stay with her. We take turns,” James told them. 

“I’ll return to the ball to make sure Dolohov is gone,” Lucius offered. “I can’t imagine him being foolish enough to stick around.” 

“And we take turns,” Sirius nodded firmly. They would keep her safe. They had to. 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

**January 1st, 1973**

The rest of the ball was tense. Dolohov, Yaxley, and Avery had left by the time Lucius had returned to the ballroom, much to everyone’s relief, but not knowing what curse had been put on James made everyone nervous. Alexia had taken her potions and fallen asleep curled up against Sirius, and they were later joined by James and Remus until they were all sleeping in her bed. 

The morning after the ball, Alexia awoke to find her closest friends with her, and she wanted to cry at the sight. She was shaking badly already and she managed to untangle herself enough to get out of bed and find the potion she was looking for on her bedside table along with a note. 

_ My Dearest, Alexia, _

_ I received the potion from Madame Pomfrey for you. Take it as soon as you wake. There are three more in the drawer with instructions on what to do with them. Madame Pomfrey says you’ll be up and about in no time, but if you are not, please owl me and we can cancel.  _

_ I know what happened. We all do. I’m unsure what spell he put on your brother, but I trust that it is enough to scare you and I won’t push. What happened last night stays between you, me, and your friends.  _

_ I look forward to either your owl or seeing you. Feel better, Alexia.  _

_ Well wishes, _

_ Lucius. _

She smiled a little at the letter and tucked it into her drawer before taking the potions he’d left for her. The three potions in her drawer were to essentially act as a booster for the normal potions, and they had her feeling a million times better in seconds. There was another potion on the table that she recognized as a blood replenishing potion, and she downed that as well before tossing the empty bottles into the trash. 

Alexia spared only a glance at her friends and brother, who were all sleeping soundly still, and ran to the bathroom with a warm pair of jeans and a fuzzy, burnt orange sweater. Her shower was quick and only a bit painful when the hot water hit the wounds that were still sore. Once she was finished, she dressed and brushed her hair and teeth and quickly made her way from her room to the kitchen, where she found her parents drinking coffee and reading the Daily Prophet. 

“Oh, Alexia, dear,” Dorea smiled. “James told us you weren’t feeling well last night. How are you doing?” 

“Better,” she assured her. “I think I was just exhausted. I’m sorry I went to bed early.”

“That’s alright,” Charlus assured her, rubbing her shoulder. “There’ll be other balls. We’re just glad you’re better.”

“I’d still like to go see Lucius if that’s alright,” she requested, looking between them while Mipsy popped in and poured her tea for her. “I haven’t given him his gift yet.” 

“Ah, about the young Malfoy,” Dorea raised an eyebrow. “A little elf told me that you two were alone in the coat room.” 

“Mipsy,” Alexia groaned. “I told you, it was nothing!” 

“Mipsy sees what Mipsy sees,” the elf declared before popping out. Alexia groaned and looked to her parents. 

“We were just talking.” 

“Aren’t you a bit young to be dating?” Charlus wondered. 

Dorea hummed. “I don’t think she is, but Lucius Malfoy?” 

“He’s kind,” she defended. “He’s my friend.” 

“And you like him.” 

She flushed. “I don’t know, mum. Is it important?” 

“We just want what’s best for you. If you think that’s Lucius Malfoy-,” 

“Please,” she interrupted. “We’re not getting married or anything, okay? If it helps, I know him and his wife in the future. I just like him.” 

“Okay, dear,” Charlus nodded at her from over his newspaper. “You can go, but be careful.” 

Dorea hummed. “Alexia, dear, do you know the spell?” 

Alexia’s eyes widened in horror. “Mum!” 

“I know you were a muggleborn girl and there’s no sex education at Hogwarts,” her mother continued on. “It’s reasonable to think you may not have learned it.” 

“I have muggle birth control,” she assured the woman, blushing furiously. “Madame Pomfrey assured me it’s still there. It was enhanced with magic by my friend’s mom, so it’ll last for nearly ten years. Please. I don’t need the talk.” 

“Your mother just wants to ensure you’re being safe,” Charlus said. “We plan to give James and Sirius the talk today as well.” 

“Why today?” 

“Well, we’d wanted to do it over summer, but Sirius won’t be here, and Walburga is unlikely to teach him anything,” Dorea reasoned. “You go on and meet Lucius. We’ll give the boys the talk today.” 

“Maybe Remus, too?” Alexia said after a moment of consideration. “His parents are…” 

“Of course,” Dorea smiled. “Go on. You’ll be late.” 

“Thanks, Mum, Dad,” Alexia smiled. She gave them each a kiss on the cheek before making her way to the floo to meet Lucius at the cafe. 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

James woke with a start when his hand fell not on Alexia’s hand but on Sirius’s ruffled hair. A quick glance around showed his sister missing and his friends cuddling up to him. He shoved Sirius to wake him up, and the boy opened his eyes to glare at him. 

“The fuck, Prongs?” 

“Lexi’s missing,” he hissed before poking Remus. “Moony!” 

Remus sat up and looked around, his eyes settling on the missing potions. “Calm down. It looks like she’s taken her potions. She probably just woke up before us.” 

“Oh, thank Merlin,” James breathed, sagging back onto the bed. “What time is it?” 

“Eleven,” Sirius answered, pointing at the clock next to him. 

“We’re going to miss breakfast,” James said, falling out of the bed in his rush to get out of the room. His friends dragged themselves along behind him as he rushed to the kitchen, though he stopped at the sight of his parents sitting in the sitting room and whispering to one another. “Mum? Dad?” 

“Oh, you’re up,” Dorea smiled. “Come in, boys. We have some things we need to speak with you about.” 

James exchanged a suspicious glance with his friends before filing into the room and sitting on the couch across from his parents. “What is this?” 

Charlus waved his wand at the door, locking it before Dorea spoke. “Your sister got the same talk today, though admittedly a shorter one.”

“Oh no,” he stared with wide eyes. 

“Yes, this is the sex talk,” Dorea nodded firmly. Remus shot to his feet. 

“I think I’m just going to… go.” 

“No,” Dorea shook her head. “We spoke to your parents and they requested you join James for this. Unfortunately, Peter went home after the ball last night so he’ll miss this."

“Bloody lucky,” James muttered. 

Sirius stood and slowly snuck toward the door, though Charlus caught him. “Sirius Orion, as the adults most interested in your life, we  _ will _ be giving you the talk.” 

“This is awful,” he complained. “I’d rather be with Walburga.” 

“Let’s start with one of the most important parts,” Dorea said, waving for the boys to sit again, which they reluctantly did. “Consent. Now there are a few important parts of it. For one, if you ask a girl out and she says no, what should you do?” 

“Keep trying?” James guessed. Dorea shook her head at him. 

“Back off. She’s given you her answer. You don’t want to pressure her into dating you, do you?” 

“...I guess not, no.” 

“Good. Now, consent is also important for any form of touching. Before you kiss, ask her if it’s okay. If she says no, back off. Make sense?” 

“But isn’t it less romantic to ask first?” Sirius wondered. Dorea shook her head. 

“People rarely ask for consent in things like that,” she said sadly. “It can be dangerous. Ask first. Respect boundaries.” 

“Okay.” 

Dorea sighed. “Most importantly, I believe, is consent for sex. Does anyone know what it’s called when you have sex with someone and they don’t consent?” 

Remus hesitated. “Rape.” 

“Exactly,” Dorea nodded. “If you start doing anything sexual like touching one another or the actual act of having sex, you  _ must _ make sure that your partner consents. You’d be surprised by how many people don’t. It’s terrifyingly common.” 

“She’s right. Many of the women that I’ve known in my life have been assaulted or raped,” Charlus told the boys gravely. 

“Are we all clear on consent?” Dorea asked. At three nods, she moved on. “Okay, next up is sexually transmitted diseases, or STDs.” 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

The cafe was a quaint one with gorgeous smells and beautiful interior. Alexia arrived twenty minutes early, mostly out of desperation to leave before her parents began giving the boys the talk. She’d ordered a large hot cocoa and relaxed with  _ The Crucible _ . She was wrapped up in reading when Lucius sat down and chuckled at her. 

“Oh my god,” she gasped, putting the book down. “You startled me.” 

“You’re easily startled,” he smiled, looking at her book. “What is it about?” 

She let out a small laugh. “Nothing I think any witch or wizard would be very interested in.” 

“Why is that?” 

“It’s about the witch trials in America,” she explained. “They started because these girls danced with their slave and when they were caught, they said the slave was practicing witchcraft. Things got… out of hand after that.” 

“You’re probably right,” he agreed. “I’m not sure many would find that entertaining.” 

“Stop judging me,” she rolled her eyes. “I read this before I even knew magic was real.” 

“No one is judging,” he laughed. She watched as he ordered his hot chocolate and leaned back. “How are you feeling?” 

“Better,” she assured him. “Those potions really helped. Thank you for getting them.” 

“Your friends refused to leave your side,” he explained. “By the time I got back with them, there were four of you in your bed.” 

Alexia let out a small laugh. “I was a little surprised to wake up that way. I hope I didn’t ruin your night.” 

He offered her a smile, one that she appreciated. “I worried for you, that is all. What did you tell your parents?” 

“Apparently, Jamie told them that I was sick. I told them I was just tired. They didn’t mind and I don’t think they noticed anything.” 

“Good.” 

Alexia reached into her bag and grabbed his gift, handing it over to him. He raised an eyebrow at her and she laughed. “It’s just a drawing. It’s actually going to go on your chest.” 

He blinked at her. “Excuse me?” 

She sighed, leaning forward. “I want a way to help you… in the future. I know you weren’t arrested, but they will come for you. I’ll testify on your behalf, of course, but this is definitive proof. I ran it by Dumbledore and he said he’s going to spread it through the Order when the time comes that anyone with this mark is… good. On our side.” 

“Protecting my future,” he shook his head at her. “I don’t know if I deserve this, Alexia.” 

“That’s not your decision to make, is it?” she grinned. “I will have to trace it on you so that it has my magical signature.” 

“That’s fine,” he assured her. “You’re sure this is a good idea? You’re not worried that you’ll be protecting someone that wants to hurt you?” 

She looked him in the eyes seriously. “Do you want to hurt me, Lucius?” 

He stared back, and she wondered at the silver of his eyes. “Never.” 

A smile fell on her lips and she sat back. “Then it’s settled.”

OoOoOoOoOoOo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh I forgot to mention, my mom got out of surgery a few hours ago! She's chill, I'm home with a new tens unit that I'm using to mess with my partner while he plays GTA. It's highly amusing and I'd suggest trying it.


	13. Classic Ones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretty sure this is where we see *what* the curse is. So. Enjoy that. Honestly, I definitely could've made it worse, but I suppose that doesn't say much.

**Classic Ones**

_ You’re a legend in my own mind _

_ My middle name, my goodbye. _

**January 3rd, 1973**

Alexia barely saw her friends over the next couple of days as she avoided Potter Manor to the best of her ability. Every time she entered her bedroom, she found panic filling her chest. She knew that avoiding the problem would solve nothing, but she didn’t have the energy to deal with it. 

The train ride back to Hogwarts was the first time she sat with her friends for more than five minutes, and even so, she tapped her foot anxiously, desperate to get back to Hogwarts for the first time. Hogwarts might make her anxious but it was better than the most recent traumatic event, and she counted that as a win. 

She sat between Sirius and James with Remus and Peter across from them. The group was quiet and she relaxed against her brother while reading. 

“Mum told us about this thing,” James said suddenly. She lowered her book to look at his thoughtful and troubled face. “Called rape.” 

She felt her breath leave her. “What?” 

“She said a lot of girls experience it,” he nodded. “I don’t understand. Why don’t they just knee the guy in the balls and run?” 

Alexia marked her page and set her book down, completely emotionally unprepared for the conversation. “Sometimes it isn’t possible, Jamie. Have you ever been so scared you couldn’t move?” 

“Yeah…” 

“That can happen. And sometimes it’s just not possible depending on the situation or... position,” she shook her head. All four boys were looking at her now. “The… important thing is to focus not on what she could’ve done but the fact that he did it.” 

“But what if-,” 

“ _ Nothing _ excuses that,” she snapped at Sirius. “Regardless of what she was wearing or what she did, nothing excuses someone… doing that…” she shook her head and got to her feet. “I need to take a walk.” 

The boys watched her leave the compartment in wonder. 

“She’s touchy,” James said. Remus threw a book at his head. 

“You’re a fucking idiot,” Remus muttered, rushing out of the compartment after Alexia. He caught up to her as she searched for Lily and Severus. “Alex.” 

She turned to look at him, wiping at tears that slid down her cheeks. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to… fuck.” 

He reached out quietly and she moved into his arms, grateful for the comfort. “I dunno what happened, Alex, and I’m not going to ask. Next time they ask about it, just throw a book at their heads.” 

She let out a startled laugh. “I think I can do that.” 

* * *

**January 16th, 1973**

Regulus stood with his wand out and pointed at the dummy. The blue light hit it and the dummy stopped in its tracks, stunned. He threw his hands up and grinned. “I did it!” 

“Good job,” Alexia smiled, canceling the spell. They were in the Room of Requirement as it was the only place she knew they’d have the magic dummies. “That was really good, Regulus.”

He put his wand away and looked over to her while she took her outer robes off, the heat of the room getting to her. “You know a lot of advanced magic.” 

She stared at him, and he felt distinctly judged while she thought to herself. After a long minute, she nodded and waved him to the chairs nearby. He took a seat and she smiled. “I’m not thirteen.” 

He narrowed her eyes. “You’re twelve?” 

She let out a laugh. “No, I’m like… well, I guess I’d be twenty-one now? I don’t know. When I was de-aged, I was nineteen.” 

“You expect me to believe this.” 

She shook her head and raised her wand. “I, Alexia Dorea Potter, do swear on my wand and magic that I’ve been de-aged to be thirteen years old.” 

Her wand lit up and he looked at her in shock. “You’re actually… twenty-one.” 

She shrugged. “Lucius knows and so does your brother and James and Remus. I didn’t, uh, mean to tell so many people, honestly. In my defense, though, my friends are… really bad at keeping secrets.” 

“But what… happened?” he questioned with a frown. “Why did you do this?” 

“I was in danger,” she said slowly. “And Dumbledore was in a position to help me, so he placed me with the Potters. It’s been a bit difficult, honestly.” 

“So you’re just eight years younger now? How will that work?” 

Alexia pulled her hair back into a ponytail and looked at the dummies. “Honestly, I’m not sure. I  _ feel _ thirteen again, but I’ve got…” she shook her head. “As for what’ll happen in the end, I assume I’ll go back when it’s safe to be myself again.” 

“And who is that exactly?” 

Alexia offered him a small smile. “Hermione Granger.”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Hermione Granger.” 

* * *

**February 4th, 1973**

James picked at his muffin quietly while his friends filed into the Great Hall quietly. He’d gotten there a half hour early, his nerves too high to sit around and wait. Still, when he’d gotten there, his appetite had completely disappeared, filled with nausea and nerves. Remus and Alexia sat on either side of him and exchanged a look. 

“You have to eat, Jamie,” Alexia sat, putting her hand on his arm. “Please.” 

“I feel sick,” he answered her, putting the muffin back on his plate. 

“You’re going to be okay, Prongs,” Remus assured him. “You’re great on a broom.” 

“But this is against Slytherin,” James muttered, looking to Alexia. “They like you. Tell them to play nice.” 

“Three of them like me,” she rolled her eyes. “I don’t think they can convince the team to not play dirty. You just have to be careful, okay? You’re going to do wonderfully.” 

“Yeah?” he raised an eyebrow. “Where’s Padfoot?” 

Remus coughed. “I think he went to go hex some Slytherins.” 

“Oh my god,” Alexia muttered, jumping out of her seat. “Jamie,  _ eat _ ,” she ordered. With that, she ran out of the hall to try and stop Sirius from getting kicked off the team before he could even play. 

* * *

“ _ And there goes Potter with the Quaffle. He throws it to Gideon Prewett, who puts it through the hoop - fifty points to Gryffindor!” _

They all cheered as Gryffindor caught up with Slytherin pointwise. James and Sirius both were playing, James as Chaser and Sirius as Beater. It was their first game officially on the team and they were doing surprisingly well. They knew how to perfectly control their brooms, likely from years of using them, and they’d practiced for a full year on the actual game itself, earning themselves a place on the team from the desperate captain. 

Slytherin was a cruel team made up of Evan Rosier, Daniel Greengrass, Rabastan Lestrange, Lucius Malfoy, Alecto Carrow, Perseus Parkinson, and Antonin Dolohov. Nearly all of them were playing dirty, trying to curse members of the Gryffindor team at every chance. 

Halfway through the game and Gryffindor was in the lead with 80 points while Slytherin had 30. The Gryffindor seeker, Angelica Cole, was rather useless and truthfully didn’t seem to be doing anything. Meanwhile, James and his fellow Chasers were working hard to keep their points up. The two Beaters kept the rest of the team safe from the Slytherins, which meant not only keeping the Bludgers away but also the curses sent their way. 

Sirius was preoccupied with keeping a curse away from Frank Longbottom while the other Beater, Carson Horton was throwing the Bludger at Rosier. It all happened in mere moments. 

Rabastan caught the Bludger and tossed it at James. Sirius got there just in time to protect his friend, but Dolohov was on the other side and tossed a curse at him, knocking him off his broom and into freefall. 

Both Prewett twins flew over and tried to catch him but Alexia already knew they would be too late. James was falling too quickly and they couldn’t go fast enough if they wanted to actually get ahold of him. Before she knew it, she was on her feet and rushing toward the railing where she shoved her hand out and screamed. 

“ _ Arresto Momentum _ !” 

The spell hit James just in time and his fall slowed enough that he hit the ground softly. From there, her eyes slipped to a smirking Dolohov, his wand still in his hands as he tried to put it away. 

She knew it was a bad idea. She knew it was dangerous. She knew  _ he _ was dangerous.

_ But he’d tried to kill her brother.  _

She pulled her wand out this time and pointed it at Dolohov. He raised an eyebrow at her in warning, but she cast anyway. 

“ _ Flippendo _ !” 

Dolohov was thrown off his broom and to the ground which, unfortunately, wasn’t too far. He was alive but definitely injured. She stared in satisfaction at his barely moving body. She felt stares on her and ignored them, only moving to exit the pitch and go to the infirmary, where she knew James had quickly been taken. 

* * *

“What the  _ fuck _ was she thinking?” Sirius ranted as he and Remus ran through the castle to the Gryffindor common room where they’d been told Alexia had been sent. Peter had stayed with James, who had been given a sleeping potion while his broken wrist was healed along with the cuts on his back. 

“I didn’t even really see what happened,” Remus admitted. 

“Neither did I,” Sirius agreed. “I saved James from the Bludger and then… he was falling.” 

They ran into the common room where Alexia sat with the Prewett twins kneeling in front of her, who were looking her over in worry. 

“-fine, I promise,” she was saying. 

“That was a really powerful spell you used,” Fabian told her with a frown. “You’re sure there’s no magical drain?” 

“I can handle it,” she promised, her eyes slipping to her friends. “I think I’m about to get a lecture.” 

“That’s our cue, then,” Gideon said, getting to his feet from kneeling in front of the girl, who sat on the couch in front of the fire. “We’ll check up on you later, Pip.” 

“Thanks, guys,” she smiled, watching as they made their way up the stairs to their dorm. When they were gone, Sirius and Remus stood in front of her and she rolled her eyes. “Neither of you are intimidating. Wait until you’re older.  _ Then _ you’re intimidating.” 

“This isn’t funny, Alexia!” Sirius snapped, wiping the small smile off her face. “Why the fuck would you attack him?” 

Her eyes flashed angrily. “He hexed James!”

“ _ When _ ?” 

“When you caught the bludger,” she told him with a glare. “He was on his other side. I watched him curse James, so I caught James and then… god, Sirius, he was so pleased with himself. Maybe it was a bad idea but he tried to fucking kill my brother, okay? He’s not getting away with that.” 

“So you tried to kill him,” Remus pointed out. She scoffed. 

“He didn’t die.” 

“You already know he’s got a thing for you,” Sirius sighed, trying to breathe out his anger as he understood the situation a bit better. “How much trouble are you in?” 

“A month of detention and they called mum,” she shrugged. “They’re going to come get me when she gets here. I’m not too worried about her, honestly.” 

“Are you worried his parents are going to press charges?” Remus wondered. She considered the question but shook her head. 

“I can prove that he hexed Jamie first. It would be a legal mess. They’ll probably be pissed and declare issue with the Potter House but I don’t think anything will happen.” 

“You’re going to get yourself killed, Lexi,” Sirius sighed. She rolled her eyes at him. 

“I’ve lived through a lot. I think I can handle this.” 

* * *

**February 7th, 1973**

It wasn’t until three days later when Dorea and Charlus’s schedules matched up with that of Dolohov’s parents, Artur and Zoya. When it did, they met in Dumbledore’s office along with Dolohov, Alexia, and James, who had been brought along at Alexia and her parents’ insistence. 

“I am sorry, Lady Potter, but there is no proof that-,” 

“Like hell there is no proof,” Dorea snapped angrily. “Alexia saw it. Take her memory of the situation.” 

“If we did that, we’d require Mr. Dolohov’s memory of it as well,” he explained. “And we cannot force him to give that.” 

“For god’s sake,” Alexia muttered angrily. “I know for a fact that Lucius Malfoy saw it.” 

“And how, may I ask, could you know that?” 

She looked at her headmaster like he was stupid. “Because he’s my friend and he told me. Besides, he was hovering behind Dolohov when it happened.” 

“This is unacceptable,” Artur Dolohov shouted over Alexia. “Slander against our House and my Heir. Do you want me to sue?” 

“Oh, calm down,” Dorea rolled her eyes. “You’ve got absolutely no proof that he didn’t do it. My daughter has proof from herself, Mister Malfoy, and five others on the Gryffindor team.”

“Neither boys are badly hurt,” Dumbledore said, interrupting the brewing argument. “And Miss Potter has been punished. May I suggest that we call it even? There’s no need to get political about this. It’s simple House rivalries, that’s all.” 

“Like hell, it is,” Alexia muttered angrily. James took her hand and she sucked in a deep breath and shut her mouth. 

“We will drop it,” Zoya Dolohov began. “On the condition that your daughter apologizes to my son.” 

“Alexia?” Charlus said, looking at her regretfully. She scoffed. 

“I’m not apologizing to him.” 

“Lexi, I know you don’t want to,” Dorea said quietly, moving to her daughter. “And I do believe you. But we don’t want this mess to get too big.” 

“Mum, he’s…” she shook her head. “He’s dangerous.” 

“I know, lovebug. They all are. But remember, so are you. You’re my daughter and you can’t tell me you’re not a Slytherin at heart. Play this smart and we can win it, okay? Just be patient.” 

Alexia held Dorea’s gaze before turning to look at Dolohov, who smirked at her. “I’m sorry for hexing you.” 

“Thank you,” he said with a dangerous smile. She sucked in a deep breath and looked back to her parents. 

“Can we go?” 

“All of you kids can go,” Dumbledore said. “Your parents and I have a few more things to discuss alone.” 

Alexia grabbed James’s hand within her own and marched out of the office, aware of Dolohov on her heel. When they got down the stairs and the goblin moved back to his place in the wall, she turned on her heel and shoved her wand in his face. “Don’t fucking touch us again, Dolohov.” 

“Better be careful, Potter,” he said with a smirk. “You don’t want anything to happen to yourself or your brother, do you?” 

She hesitated. “Just stay away from me.” 

James tugged at her arm and she began to move away but was stopped by a very familiar feeling. Her body shook as she fell to the ground and let out a short scream. The curse was lifted as quickly as it hit her.

“What the fuck?” James screamed. She grabbed his arm and used it to sit up and look at Dolohov, whose smirk was replaced by absolute fury. He made his way over and looked down at her. 

“You don’t take warnings well, do you?” 

As he walked away, she could see the desperation in James to run after him or hex him, but she held him back, grabbing his arm. “I left my- fuck, I left my bag in the Room, Jamie. I need my potion.” 

“I’ll go get it,” he offered, aware that she wouldn’t be able to walk all the way to the room. She shook her head, thinking. 

“Someone else can get it… Not Sirius. I don’t… I don’t want them knowing,” she told him, wincing as she pulled her wand out and cast her Patronus. “To Lucius. There was an… incident. I left my bag in the Room of Requirement and I need it as soon as possible. It’s a bit of an emergency. I can’t get there. I’m by Dumbledore’s office with Jamie.” 

The otter swam off and she took in a deep breath. James sat down and she leaned over to put her head in his lap. Neither said anything, but she could feel her brother’s anger and fear through their twin bond. He pulled his fingers gently through her hair and tensed each time her body shook or when she let out a whimper of pain. 

Twenty minutes later and Lucius turned a corner to set his eyes on the Potter twins on the floor, one of them distinctly not okay. He rushed over and dropped to his knees, opening the bag. He didn’t need to be told what had happened - he knew what meeting was happening that day, and it wasn’t hard to guess. The potion in question was at the top of the bag and he pulled it out, opened it, and helped her drink it down. It began working immediately and when she was okay enough to sit up on her own, he spoke. 

“What did he do?” 

She shook her head. “It only lasted a second.” 

“He still fucking tortured you,” James said, his anger outweighing the worry now that she was better. “You’re going to let him get away with that?” 

“I can’t do shit, James,” she snapped tiredly. “He’s got me, okay? I just… I can’t do anything, Jamie. Not with…” 

“Remember the ball,” Lucius said slowly, looking between the two siblings. “Alexia is not the type to just take things sitting down. What do you think he could threaten her with that would scare her this bad?” 

“Me,” James sighed, remembering the conclusion they’d all come to before. “But there’s gotta be a limit, Lex. Can’t you just tell us what will happen if you talk about it?” 

She considered the question for a second before she nodded. “If I… you and I will feel every painful thing I’ve gone through… all of it.” 

James’s mouth opened and then closed. “Oh, Lexi.” 

“I’m not worried about me, it’s just… nothing is worth it, Jamie,” she shook her head. “Not when it’s you.” 

“This is my fault,” James sighed, rubbing his forehead. 

“This is Dolohov’s fault,” Lucius corrected. “You had no choice in this, nor did Alexia. I am only concerned about how far she’ll go to keep you safe.” 

* * *

**February 28th, 1973**

The rematch was the following week and that time, Gryffindor won with no problem. There had been talk of removing James and Dolohov both but in the end, they’d pinned it all on Alexia and had given her another month of detention. She didn’t really care and was just glad James would have the chance to play again as she knew he’d been more upset about not finishing the game than he was about falling. 

Alexia’s friends - the Gryffindor ones - had completely forgiven her within a day of the incident, much to her relief. Her Slytherin friends, however, had not. 

“Are all three of you avoiding me?” she asked, sitting down with Severus and Regulus and looking between them. “You can’t possibly still be upset with me. He tortured me after!” Both of them looked up at her in panic and she winced. “I really thought Lucius told you. Now that I’m thinking about it, I don’t see why he would…” 

“He fucking tortured you?” Regulus asked, looking over her. 

“That’s better than the silent treatment,” she joked, earning herself two glares. She let out a sigh. “Yes. And he warned me to back off. And he threatened me and James.”

“Have you reported it?” 

“Has Dumbledore done shit about Dolohov hexing James to begin with?” 

“It would be difficult,” Regulus admitted. “Dumbledore wouldn’t want to get in the middle of two Ancient and Noble Houses. What happened?” 

“We were kicked out of Dumblecunt’s office,” she began, ignoring the looks she got for the nickname she’d given their headmaster. “And James, Dolohov, and I went downstairs and he told me to back off and threatened James and I. Then as we went to leave, he tortured me. Just for a second. I can handle it.” 

“Fuck,” Severus whispered, looking her over closely. 

“Are you done being mad at me?” 

“No,” her friend answered. “This just makes me angrier. It wasn’t your fault he tortured you, sure, but you irritated him. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but he hates you.” 

“He tried to kill my brother!” she defended hotly. “You just want me to let that go?” 

“ _ Yes _ .” 

She looked to Regulus. “What would you do if someone did that to Sirius?” 

The boy considered her question. “Wait. Do it in a way they wouldn’t know it was me. Don’t put myself at risk.”

She sighed, leaning back in her chair. “I don’t know what you want me to do. It’s done.”

“Are you going to attack or instigate him again?” Severus wondered. 

“No,” she said truthfully. “I’m not risking this shit. I might be able to handle the  _ Cruciatus _ but it still fucking hurts.” 

Severus nodded firmly and looked back down at his book. Alexia looked to Regulus, comforted that at least one of her friends was no longer upset with her. 

“Just be careful,” Regulus said finally. She nodded but before he could return to his book, she spoke again. 

“Where’s Lucius? I haven’t seen him since he came to bring me my potion,” she said with a frown. She’d assumed he was avoiding her as well, mostly because he’d been so frustrated with her after ensuring she was okay.

“He hasn’t been in school aside from his classes,” Severus spoke up. “He’s been going to Malfoy Manor in all of his free time. The library, he said.” 

Alexia let out a curse. He was looking for the cure to whatever Dolohov had put on Alexia and James. He’d asked her a few questions about it, and she’d told him that it had been cast on both of them and that when she spoke she could feel a painful tug on her heart and in her bond with James, a warning that she was about to break the spell lose. 

“What?” Regulus asked with a frown. 

“He’s… doing something for me,” she explained slowly. “But I don’t think he can do it.” 

“What is it?” 

“Just a cure for a curse,” she waved him off. “I just don’t think a cure exists.” 

* * *

**March 16th, 1973**

“Lexi,” Lily said, gathering her friend’s attention. “Do wizards have St. Patrick’s Day?” 

Alexia sat straight up in her bed, eyes wide with an idea. “No, no, they don’t. But they will this year. When is it?” 

“Tomorrow?” 

“Shit,” she cursed softly, jumping out of bed. “Wanna help me with a prank?” 

“I don’t think so,” Lily narrowed her eyes. “I’m not getting in the middle of that.” 

“First, we have good rules and regulations to make sure no one gets hurt too bad,” she defended. “But also, it’s a good one! Please? You can jump ship the second it gets too bad for you.” 

“I don’t think so, Lexi.” 

Alexia scowled and wandered out of her room in search of the perfect accomplice. The common room was empty but she moved over and walked up the stairs to knock on the fourth year boys’ dorm. There was some shuffling on the other side of the door before a head poked through. “Pip?” 

She grinned at Fabian. “Are you two up for a last minute prank? It’ll require lots of spellwork and it’ll happen tomorrow morning and also all day.” 

Fabian grinned at her. “Is this for your competition?” 

She shrugged. “Not really. It’s mostly… let’s say, introducing a new holiday to the wizarding world.” 

“Come on in, Lexi,” he offered, opening the door up for her. She smiled brightly and stepped inside to plan the perfect prank. 

* * *

**March 17th, 1973**

The morning started normally enough. Students and teachers alike filed into the Great Hall for breakfast and sat in their normal seats with all of their friends. Among them was Alexia, Lily, and the Prewett twins, who all wore green ties, a fact that outraged and confused their Gryffindor friends. 

“What the hell are you doing?” James snapped at his sister. She made a face at him but didn’t reply. 

Thirty minutes into breakfast, the hall was full and the doors slammed shut on their own, startling everybody. Dumbledore rose from his seat at the same time as Alexia and the twins, though Dumbledore didn’t stand on the table with them. 

“Good morning, Hogwarts!” Alexia called with a wild grin. “I’d like to take a moment to educate you on a holiday in the muggle world called St. Patrick’s Day!” 

“Miss Potter, get down from that table!” McGonagall shouted. Fabian and Gideon stepped over and put up a shield around her to let her keep talking. 

“Truthfully, I don’t know that much about it. It’s Irish in origin and people often use it as an excuse to get drunk. But there is a tradition that I know all too well… see, on St. Patrick’s Day, if you don’t wear green, you get pinched.” 

“That’s not fair,” Sirius shouted. “The Slytherin’s get away scot-free!” 

Alexia smirked at him. “We’ve placed a charm on the Great Hall. Anyone in here that isn’t wearing green will be pinched by the nearest person. Also, you cannot change your clothing for six hours.”

“This is cruel and unusual, Potter,” Patricia Rakepick shouted from the end of the Gryffindor table. 

“I’m not going to pinch him,” Remus told her. She let out a laugh. 

“It’s not really your choice, love,” she replied. “Charms, remember?” 

“Ow!” a Ravenclaw yelled, jumping out of her seat. “Buffet pinched me!” 

“Enjoy,” she laughed, jumping down from the table with the twins. The door opened and she ran out with Fabian and Gideon behind her, being chased by an angry Professor McGonagall. 

* * *

The end of the day brought angry students and detention for the three pranksters, a detention that took them back to the great hall to clean all of the candle holders. It was overseen by Slughorn, who had congratulated them on the prank and then left for his office just with the instructions to get as many clean by midnight that they could. There were a few other students there but by the time Alexia, Fabian, and Gideon had arrived, they were already started at the very end of the hall. 

“I think that went well,” Gideon grinned as he wiped his rag across the golden surface. Alexia was leaning against a table and focused on taking down the charms they’d set up earlier. They hadn’t told anyone that they were still there but she figured they’d figure it out soon and they’d just get in more trouble. 

With the candles down, there was very little light in the hall. Only a few candles were lit by each student working, and it was rather eery. “I might do it again next year.” 

Fabian laughed at her. “We’re only gonna be here for so long, Pip. You think you can let your boys in on how we did this? You think they’ll put on green?” 

She looked at him seriously. “Honestly, Fab, I think they’d do anything if I asked them to.” 

Gideon nodded at that. “You’re probably right… are you okay? You’re shaking.” 

“Fuck,” she hissed, dropping her wand. She was, in fact, shaking. When she’d gotten back to her dorm earlier that day, someone had retaliated and locked it shut. She’d forgotten completely about her potions while attempting to track down the angry student. “Shit, I don’t have my bag.” 

“What is it?” Fabian asked, getting to his feet. “That looks pretty bad, Alexia.” 

“It’s nothing,” she lied. “Nothing important. I just need my potions, but we can’t leave until we’re finished…” 

“Everything okay, Potter?” 

Her head shot over to Dolohov, who stood with his wand in his hand. She was surprised mostly that she hadn’t noticed him sneak up. Absently, she pushed herself closer to Fabian, who was closest to her. “Go away, Dolohov.” 

“I thought I told you to be nice to me.” 

“Fuck off, Dolohov,” Gideon said before looking at Alexia. “Did he do something?” 

She met Dolohov’s eyes and saw the threat in them. “N-no.” 

“You’re a horrible liar,” Fabian muttered, raising his wand to point it at the boy. 

“I wouldn’t,” Dolohov, still staring at Alexia. “If he does that, you know what happens.” 

“Fab,  _ please _ ,” she grabbed his arm quickly. “Just leave it. He’s… harmless.” 

“If he’s harmless then I’m a Slytherin,” Fabian shook his head at her. “Tell us what he did, Pip. You’ll be okay.” 

“Please,” she begged, looking still at Dolohov, who seemed not to care what happened. “I can’t.” 

Dolohov raised an eyebrow in warning and she sucked in a breath. 

“Alexia-,” 

“I can’t, Gideon!” she snapped. “It’s not- I just can’t.” 

“Oh, Alexia,” Dolohov shook his head at her. “You should really learn to lie.” 

Fabian wasn’t quick enough to stop Dolohov when he tapped his wand against his leg. Alexia felt her entire body seize up and let out a scream of pain as she was dropped to the ground. Her body shook back and forth as the intensity of Bellatrix’s  _ Crucio _ was combined with all of the others she’d received from Dolohov and even Umbridge. Aside from that, she felt the skin on her arm split open to reveal her scar. Every other curse or pain she’d ever felt hit her slowly, and it took her nearly twenty minutes of it before she passed out. She knew the entire time that the twins were trying to help her but her mind was on only one thing. 

James. 

* * *

“How do you think they did it?” Peter asked as they reluctantly added another mark under Alexia’s name before making their way up to their dorm. 

“Alexia,” Sirius said, sure of himself. “She knows a lot of advanced things.” 

“I don’t know,” James shrugged. “The twins are pretty powerful, too. Their dad’s an auror and they learn lots from him.” 

“I want to know how she came up with it,” Remus said. 

“Lily,” James nodded. “She was wearing a green tie, too, but she seemed annoyed. I’d assume the tie was Lexi’s way of crediting her.” 

“Why didn’t she warn us?” Peter complained. “And why would she make a prank that favors Slytherin so much?” 

“Because it was funny,” Remus answered his friend. “Plus, it’s based on the holiday. It’s not her fault that Slytherin’s color is green.” 

“We have to get her back,” James declared. Before he could continue on, he dropped to the ground, screaming in pain. He could barely notice his friends making their way over to him. The most excruciating pain he’d ever felt radiated through his entire body. His mind hurt in a way that he’d never felt before, but beyond that, he found memories he’d never experienced racing through him. Still, they terrified him as he watched Alexia - or Hermione, as the memories decided - be hurt in awful, cruel ways.

The pain soon shifted to his arm and he let out a cry. It felt as if someone was carving into it. That lasted for awhile until it ended and he felt a burning, stabbing pain in his hip. The pain was so bad that he found himself vomiting. 

It wasn’t long after that when he passed out, the pain too much for him to bear. 

* * *

**March 21st, 1973**

Alexia’s eyes opened slowly at the same time that she tried to move her arm, which proved to be a horrible idea. She let out a gasp of pain and stilled. 

“Fuck,” she gasped, pushing herself out of bed and ignoring the pain throughout her entire body. Before she could turn to search for Harry, a hand fell on her arm, startling her. She shoved the person and searched for her wand, hesitating when she found it was missing. 

“Alexia,” a voice called loudly, interrupting her manic thoughts. She managed to look up, confused when her eyes fell on… Lucius Malfoy? 

“Stay away from me,” she demanded, putting her hand in front of her. “I know wandless magic.” 

“I’m sure you do,” he agreed. “What do you remember?” 

She shook her head. “What sort of trick is this?” 

“No trick,” he promised her. “Please tell me what you remember.” 

“Draco,” she said slowly, her mind drifting back to when she’d been captured. “You tried to get him to identify us. Then… I don’t know. Bellatrix was… angry about something.”

“Oh, shit,” he muttered, rubbing his face with his hands. “Alexi-  _ Hermione _ , I think you’ve suffered some memory loss.” 

“What… where am I?” 

“You’re safe,” he promised. “I’m not sure I’m the best to explain this to you. That being said, it’ll be a shock no matter who says it…” 

“Tell me where I am,” she snapped, shoving her hand out farther. “I swear to god I’ll blast you to Neptune.” 

“I believe you,” he said honestly because he could see the war-torn woman standing in front of him instead of the barely okay girl that was a mask for the damage beneath. “Please, sit down. You’ll only hurt yourself further if you stand.” 

“Give me my wand first.” 

It was a reasonable demand, he thought. Quietly, he opened the bedside drawer and handed her wand over. She gripped onto it like a lifeline and sat on the bed, waiting. 

“Okay,” he said, sitting back in the chair he’d been waiting in. “First off, you’re in Potter Manor.” 

“Potter Manor?” she frowned at him. “Harry hasn’t gone to Potter Manor yet. It’s under a death fidelius.”

“I know,” Lucius nodded slowly. “But that’s because there was an… accident and you’re in 1973.” 

Her eyes sharpened on him and he saw as she recognized him to be younger than his adult self. “Oh my god…” 

“It’s okay,” he assured her. “You’re safe. You were placed with the Potters. James is your twin brother.” 

Something in her mind sparked. “James?” 

“James,” Lucius nodded. “Do you remember him?” 

“No,” she told him truthfully. “What… happened?” 

“I don’t… you’ve shown me some memories on accident. It was bad, Hermione. You remember being captured?” 

“Yes.” 

“Bellatrix tortured you,” he explained. “I’m sorry.” 

“That’s why I’m in so much pain?” 

“No,” he sighed. “Someone cast a spell on you that, in short, made you feel all the mental and physical pain you’ve ever felt.” 

She froze. “Did it- did it do it all to me again? All of it?” 

“I believe so,” he said apologetically. She paled significntly and he frowned. “Why?” 

“I can’t- I need- fuck,” she whispered frantically. “I need something. I need… do you have my bag? I need my bag.  _ Please _ .” 

He nodded and moved quickly over to the table across the room and grabbed her bag, handing it over to her. She shoved her arm inside frantically and he heard glass breaking and things falling as she searched for what she needed. When she finally removed her arm, there was some glass in it, but she didn’t even seem to notice. She uncorked the potion in her hand and downed it, looking sick and only relaxing when it was done. 

“You hurt yourself,” he commented, pulling his wand out. Her wand came to poke his chest and he slowed. “I only want to help. What was that potion?”

“Nothing,” she hissed, looking down at her newly injured arm in surprise. “Oh.” 

“I cannot imagine what would cause so much panic that you wouldn’t notice that,” he admitted. “Lady Potter healed you. She did a scan to see what happened. You don’t believe she found whatever you’re worried about?”

“Only special scans can find this,” she muttered, plucking glass from her arm and wincing. 

“Let me help,” he requested. She eyed him for a moment before holding her arm out for him. He began carefully removing the glass and cleaning the arm off as he went. 

“I don’t understand,” she said slowly. “If I’m at Potter Manor, why are you here? I thought the Malfoys hated the Potters and just about every other light family.” 

“You are my friend,” he said slowly. “We are not our families.” 

She thought to his son and how he’d clearly hated his place in life. “I suppose not… can you explain to me exactly what happened?” 

He didn’t answer her for a minute as he  _ accio _ ’d the Dittany from her bag and dripped it into her arm. When he was done, he set it aside and sighed. “Do you know who Dolohov is?”

She frowned, a memory of the night Sirius died coming to mind. “Yeah.” 

“He’s got an… issue with you,” Lucius shook his head. “He’s dangerous. He knocked James off his broom during a Quidditch match and you did the same to him in revenge. He then  _ Crucio _ ’d you for it. The thing is… he hurt you rather badly at the New Year’s Ball and then he cursed you and James so that if you admitted it, you’d… both feel all the pain you’ve ever felt, physical and mental.” 

She felt her stomach do a flip. “All of it?” 

He nodded. 

“Where- oh my god,” she breathed, feeling lightheaded. “Where is he?”

“Take a deep breath,” he coached her. “He’s okay. Recovering a lot quicker than you, actually. Probably because of the spell.” 

“I need to- shit, I need to see him,” she told him, standing up again. He moved to stand in front of her and she raised her wand again, stopping him in his tracks. “Take me to him.”

Lucius nodded, knowing the safest thing for the both of them was to just do what she asked. He hadn’t forgotten she was an advanced witch that still thought she was in the middle of a war. He led her out of her bedroom and across the hall, opening the door to find James sitting with Dorea, talking quietly. 

“Alexia,” James gasped, sitting up. She stopped at the door. 

“Harry.” 

“James,” Lucius reminded her gently. “It’s just James.” 

“I didn’t think you’d wake so soon,” Dorea told her regretfully, standing from the chair she was in. “How are you- oh.” 

Alexia rushed forward to James and leaned down, whispering in his ear so no one else could hear. “What did you feel?” 

He turned to look at her, his eyes darkening. “Bad things, Lex. Really… bad.” 

Her eyes widened and she backed up, backing into Lucius, who put his hands on her shoulders to stabilize her while looking to her mother and brother. “She’s having some memory loss.” 

“Of course,” Dorea nodded. “What does she think…?” 

“From a few months before she came here,” Lucius explained, aware that James didn’t know she was from the future. “She does not trust me.” 

“I can’t,” she whispered. “I need… I need Harry.” 

“I’m sorry, dear,” Dorea shook her head. “He isn’t here.” 

“We have to keep fighting,” she argued. “It’s almost- we’re almost done!” 

“Hermione,” Lucius said, turning her to look him in the eye. “You  _ are _ done. You just can’t remember. You finished it.” 

“Remus,” she said suddenly. “Is he- I’d like to talk to Remus.”

“We can do that,” Dorea agreed quickly. “He’s just down the hall with Sirius.” 

Alexia froze, looking between them. “Sirius?” 

“Yes, dear, he’s-,” 

Without warning, she turned and ran from the room. She opened each door to find them, ignoring everyone else behind her until she got to the room Sirius and Remus were sitting in together. When she did, she closed the door quickly behind her and warded it so they couldn’t get in. 

“Merlin,” Sirius gasped, running over to put an arm around her. “Lexi, are you-,” 

She cut him off by wrapping her arms around him and letting out a sob. “Sirius.” 

“I’m here, kitten,” he assured her, confused. “Are you okay?” 

“You died,” she whispered. “I miss you. Please don’t die.”

Remus walked over, putting a hand on her back gently. “Alex?” 

She turned to him, frustrated. “Stop calling me that!” 

The boys exchanged a glance. “What do you want us to call you?” 

“Hermione,” she looked at them like they were crazy. “I hate nicknames and those don’t even make sense.”

“Hermione,” Remus said slowly. “Where do you think you are?” 

“I don’t know,” she admitted, tears dripping down her face. “Everything hurts and Lucius Malfoy… I don’t understand.” 

“Amnesia,” Remus sighed, understanding. “What do you remember?” 

“Draco, Bellatrix was angry… Malfoy said she tortured me. I’m in 1973?” 

“You are,” Sirius confirmed, his stomach doing the same flips they did every time she mentioned her torture. 

“I have to finish the war,” she argued. “I can’t be here. I can’t leave Harry alone.”

“The war is finished, kitten,” Sirius assured her. “You won.” 

“I don’t-” she shook her head, tears in her eyes. “I don’t understand. And he said James felt… everything that I’ve…” 

“That’s what we heard,” Remus agreed. “But he’s okay.” 

Tears spilled down her cheeks as she gasped for breath, sobs spilling out of her lips as it all just became too much for her. The door finally burst open to reveal a worried Dorea and Charlus who took Alexia from Sirius’s arms and guided her back to her bedroom where James was waiting for her. She was fed a calming draught and was surprised when her mind felt much clearer, not only from the panic but also the mental fog that hid her memories. 

“There we go,” Dorea smiled. “How are you now?” 

“I think… I remember,” she frowned. “If I try hard.” 

“I assumed you would,” Dorea agreed. “We figured out the curse that was cast yesterday. It usually fogs memories at first but it goes away rather quickly with a calming draught. There is… risk of prolonged memory loss, but we will deal with that when we get to it.”

Alexia looked to James who was frowning at her in worry. “Everything?” 

He hesitated. “It was just memories. I don’t think I have the… I couldn’t feel that.” 

She held back a sob that threatened to build up despite the potion she’d just taken. “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t apologize, dear,” Charlus told her, misinterpreting her apology. “Can you tell us exactly what happened?” 

“It was detention,” she said as she tried to remember. “I was with Fabian and Gideon and Dolohov showed up and… I don’t know. I think he was taunting me. Fabian asked what he’d done and I tried to get them to stop but apparently, I didn’t do well enough and… Dolohov did it. I’m so sorry, Jamie. I never meant to-,”

“I know,” he promised her. “I never thought you would.” 

“Now that you’re up,” Dorea said, glancing between her children. “I think I’d like to have a talk, just the two of us.” 

“I’ll go check on everyone else,” Charlus offered. “I have no doubt they’re a bit spooked.” 

“Please… tell them I’m sorry,” Alexia said with a wince. Her father winked and closed the door behind him and James, who had rushed after the man, leaving her alone with her mother. 

“When Dumbledore called me, he told me that Poppy found some rather worrying injuries,” Dorea frowned at her daughter. “Aside from the obvious ones.”

“I know.” 

“Are these… recent?” 

She shook her head, thinking back to her third year. “I was fourteen.” 

“And back there, in the future, are you safe?” 

“I have plenty of people around me. I doubt they could ever get to me again. One of them died, too.”

Dorea sighed. “Did you report it?” 

Alexia scoffed. “To who? Dumbledore? The man that wouldn’t even admit that Dolohov hexed James first? No, I didn’t. I told one of my friends and that’s it. She got me the potion I needed and helped me avoid them.”

“I went through the same thing,” her mother admitted. “When I was sixteen. It is… truly awful. I’d hoped that if I had any daughters, I could save them from the same fate.”

“It happened before I got here,” Alexia pointed out. “You couldn’t have.” 

Dorea nodded, though the sadness was still evident. “Unfortunately, the spell was untraceable. There was no hard proof Dolohov did anything. Fabian and Gideon tried to argue with Dumbledore, but they just got suspended for two days for attacking Dolohov.” 

“I didn’t expect anything, anyway,” she admitted. “Jamie… is he… okay?” 

“The pain went away rather quickly for him. The spell couldn’t perfectly replicate it and it didn’t have enough power to keep the pain lingering for long. Unfortunately, in your case, it happened over old scars and only irritated them, which is why you’re still in pain. James is fine now.” 

“I never wanted him to feel that,” she whispered. “It’s my fault.” 

“It is not,” Dorea said sharply. 

“What if it happens again?” 

“Then we destroy Dolohov ourselves.” 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tens unit has been turned on me and is quickly numbing my back. Anyway, I meant to be writing but I am STUCK so I guess I'm just gonna keep going with these. Also, I'm still working on figuring out how I can do things on this site so bear with me as a few small things change. Eventually, I do plan to go back to the older chapters and make them all look the same.


	14. Friend, Please

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part One of Alexia avoiding James, I think.

**Chapter Fourteen**

_ Petrified of who you are and who you have become _

_ You will hide from everyone, denying you need someone _

**April 6th, 1973**

James was released from his mother’s care and sent back to school the day after Alexia woke up, despite his begging to stay. The rest of the kids returned as well, leaving Alexia home with her parents and the occasional visit from Lucius, who was apparently rather talented at sneaking out of Hogwarts. He brought her books and letters from her friends, all of which she read and didn’t reply to. 

She hadn’t spoken much since waking again, her thoughts turning back constantly to what had happened to trigger the curse and what had happened once she’d woken. The manic conversations she’d held played through her mind nearly constantly and all she wanted was to go back so that none of it had ever happened. 

It hurt her to ignore her friends, but no one more than James, whose letters she couldn’t bear to read. The first one had been short and in worry and that alone had been too much. With his limited understanding of what he’d seen, she wasn’t sure how he’d react to it or who he’d mention it to. As much as she didn’t want him to mention it to their friends, she didn’t want him to mention it to her even more. 

Her scar had been attended to by Dorea, Charlus, and Lucius, who had brought books from Malfoy Manor on cursed scars. To her relief, she’d been told that the entire thing would heal, though it’d take somewhere between six months and two years. It was a wonderful relief knowing that the word would no longer sit on her arm, mocking her. 

Three weeks after the incident she was sent back to school. 

“I assure you, we will take good care of her,” Dumbledore said to her parents. They looked at him in disbelief before glancing down at her. 

“You protect yourself,” Dorea was saying. “You are obviously on your own here, my love. Keep your wand on you and hex the bollocks off of anyone threatening you, alright?” 

“Lady Potter, that is not appropriate-,” 

“I will, mum,” Alexia promised, shooting a glare at Dumbledore. “Can I go?” 

“Go on, dear,” Charlus said, patting her back. “We’ll see you in a few weeks.” 

She kissed his cheek and hugged Dorea and then ran out of the room before Dumbledore could stop her. She knew her parents were planning to tear him to pieces and as much as she didn’t want to miss it, she also knew she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from screaming or possibly cursing him. 

Alexia made her way into the library quietly and looked around to ensure it was empty. Satisfied, she slipped inside and found a table far away from her regular one and settled in with a book, hopeful to distract herself. 

* * *

“She’s your sister, you tell  _ me _ why she’s ignoring you,” Sirius rolled his eyes, tossing the Quaffle back to James from his bed. James had been pouting for two weeks because Alexia never wrote him back. “She’s ignoring all of us. You don’t know she’s… what, ignoring you harder?” 

“She is!” he exclaimed. “I can feel it.” 

“Well, why, then?” 

James grabbed the ball and hugged it to his chest. “There was this thing I saw when… I think she knows I saw it.” 

“So?” Sirius shrugged. “We know she’s been through a lot of dark shit. Why would that be any different?” 

“Because it… it just was,” James shook his head. “It was really bad, Padfoot. I don’t know.” 

Sirius sat up and frowned at his friend. “What happened?” 

James considered the question. Sirius was both of their friend and they both trusted him deeply, he knew that much. But he also knew his sister, and he had a gut feeling that this was definitely something he couldn’t share about her. He wasn’t even sure she’d have ever told him on her own, and he refused to give that information away when he wasn’t supposed to have it himself. “I really can’t say. It’s not my place, Padfoot. Just… I just miss her, and I know this is why she’s avoiding me, and I don’t know how to fix it. I asked Mum to Obliviate me and she said no.”

Sirius stared his friend down for a long minute. It was clearly deeply bothering him and while he didn’t know  _ why _ she was avoiding him, he knew that someone had to fix it. “Leave it up to me, Prongs. Just meet me in the potions room tomorrow night after dinner, okay?”

“Okay…”

* * *

Regulus’s book slammed shut, and his head snapped up to see a nervous Sirius standing in front of him. He scowled. “What do you want, Sirius? I thought you weren’t talking to me.”

Sirius winced a little. “I deserve that. I’m sorry, Reg. And we  _ can _ talk about that, but I need your help with something first.”

“I’m not joining in on your idiotic pranks.”

“It’s not a prank,” Sirius said, making a face at his little brother. “I’m trying to help Lexi, but I need your help to do that.”

Regulus narrowed his eyes. He knew very little of what had happened to his friend. The whole school knew that Dolohov had confronted her, as well as the fact that she’d screamed so loud she’d woken Madame Pomfrey from all the way across the first floor. Then, she was out of school for weeks. When she’d returned, she’d studied quietly with him, and he’d refrained from asking. It had been clear she needed a friend, and he was willing to be that. Still, looking at his brother, he could see the desperation. “What exactly do you want me to do?”

“I just need you to bring her to the potions room after dinner. Slughorn told me we can borrow it. Please, Reg. It’s important.”

“What will be waiting for her there?”

“James.”

Regulus paused. “Why?”

“She’s avoiding him. She’s avoiding all of us, but it’s really bothering him. Something bad happened, Reg, and James saw something… he wouldn’t tell me, but he said that’s why she’s avoiding him, and he just wants to help her. We both do, and I know you’re her friend. I know you’d want to help her, too.”

Regulus opened his book again. “Fine. After dinner. But if she hexes me for this, I’ll hex  _ you _ .”

“Thank you!”

* * *

Alexia sat, once more, with her Slytherin friends. The only Gryffindors that she was speaking to even a little bit were the girls in her dorms, and even then, she tried to see them as little as possible. 

Right then, she was sitting between Regulus and Severus, silent as she attempted to eat, having skipped breakfast and lunch both in favor of avoiding her friends. 

“You need to eat,” Severus said softly, touching her arm. It took a lot of her energy to avoid flinching, as it always seemed to when someone touched her as of late. “You’re making yourself sick, Alex.”

“Not hungry,” she muttered, resting her head on his shoulder and closing her eyes. “I just want to sleep.”

“You’re still going to come look over my potion after dinner, right?” Regulus asked her. She glanced at him and nodded quietly. She wasn’t sure why he’d need her help, but she agreed regardless. It was a good way to avoid the people she didn’t want to see while also keeping her mind occupied. 

“I’m ready whenever you are,” she told him. Severus sighed and rubbed her arm lightly, a motion that was surprisingly soothing. She waited another five minutes for Regulus to finish eating before standing and leaving with him, not bothering to say goodbye to her friend. 

“Thanks for this,” Regulus said. Part of her recognized the nerves in his voice, but the other part didn’t care enough to figure it out. She followed him down to the dungeons, slipping her wand into her hand when they got down there. The area made her nervous now, and she was more than aware that Dolohov could get to her whenever he wanted. 

They stepped into the room and she looked at the tables, spotting no potion brewing. She turned around to frown at him and caught sight of Sirius setting wards around the room and Regulus frowning to himself. 

“Regulus!” She snapped, her gut filling with fear. “You lied to me.”

“I asked him to,” Sirius assured her. “Don’t be mad at him, be mad at me.”

“Oh, I am,” she glared. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Lex?”

She spun around, her face falling at the sight of her brother. He looked so… broken. Sad.  _ Afraid _ . It hit her in that moment that she’d definitely not been acting like a Gryffindor. She was so scared that she’d let him suffer to avoid talking about one of the sources of her nightmares. 

“Jamie.”

“C’mon, kid,” Sirius said, grabbing Regulus’s arm and dragging him out of the room. “We’ve got some guarding to do.”

With them gone, Alexia hesitated before putting up a privacy charm to ensure they wouldn’t be heard. Her eyes settled on her brother’s and she was ashamed to find herself wishing she’d never come to the past. 

“Why, Lex?”

She winced and settled herself into a nearby chair. “I’m scared, Jamie. I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t… I don’t want you to know that. I don’t want you to see me… like that. Weak.”

“ _ Weak _ ? You think that’s what I took from that? Judgment on  _ you _ ?”

She shrugged lightly. 

“Lexi, I don’t think you’re… weak. I’m just scared for you.”

“I’m away from them,” she promised, her voice a whisper now. “I never wanted you to know that. I just wanted you to see me as… I don’t know. Normal, I guess.”

He offered her a Marauder smile. “Ah, Lex, you’ve never been normal. Don’t start on me now.” 

She felt some stress lift off of her. “You didn’t… tell anyone, did you?” 

He shook his head in horror. “I’d never share that. It’s not mine to share. I’m just worried, okay? Please stop avoiding me. I miss you. What kind of twins are we if you won’t even look at me?”

“Shit,” she sighed. “I missed you too, Jamie.” 

He moved over to her and wrapped his arms around her, and she relaxed into his tight hug, relief flooding through her. “Don’t ever do that again or I’ll hex you.” 

“Got it.” 

“I love you, Lexi.”

“I love you too, Jamie.” 

* * *

**April 13th, 1973**

Lily sat down next to Alexia in the library, ignoring Severus and Regulus, irritation written all over her. “Lexi, quick question. What is  _ wrong _ with James?”

Alexia looked at her hesitantly. “What’d he do?”

“It’s your stupid prank war,” the girl huffed. “He wanted to see if he could sneak up to our dorm by spelling the door open and tying a rope to a bedpost and pulling himself up that way. Instead of a bedpost, the rope tied around me and he pulled me down the stairs!” 

Alexia’s eyes widened and she tried not to laugh. Despite how awful it was that James had hurt Lily, it was a bit of a brilliant way around the slide issue. “I’m sorry, Lily. I’ll talk to him. Dorms are off limits.”

“How long is this going to go on for again?”

Alexia hesitated, not wanting to irritate the girl further. “He won’t do anything like this again, Lils. I promise.”

“Alexia,  _ how long _ ?”

“...until graduation.”

Lily, usually quiet and respectful in the library, let out a frustrated screech and stood to stomp out, leaving Alexia with the two boys who were both perfectly fine with pretending they weren’t there until the irate witch had left.

“Your pranks are going to get you all in trouble,” Severus shook his head at her fondly. She made a face at him. 

“It’s mostly Sirius that gets in trouble. In all fairness, though, I’ve been sabotaging his pranks lately because I’m still mad at him.”

“Are you not glad to be speaking with James again?” Regulus asked her with a frown. She nodded.

“I missed him, of course, I did. It wasn’t Sirius’s place, though, to trap me. I wasn’t ready for the possible outcome of the conversation.”

“And why are you not upset with me?” Regulus wondered, curious. She offered him a smile. 

“Because you didn’t know the full story of what happened, so you couldn’t possibly know the reason that I was avoiding my own brother.”

“Alex,” Severus frowned at her. “What  _ did _ happen?”

Alexia looked between her two friends, hesitating. Severus knew nothing about her while Regulus knew she was much older than she was supposed to be. She bit her lip. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to tell you, but there’s something you should know first to make it truly make sense.”

“Okay.”

Alexia pulled her wand out and swore the same oath on her magic that she had for Regulus. When the dim glow faded, she saw Severus nod stiffly. “I went through some…. some things that no one should ever have to go through. War. I was given to the Potters for safety by Dumbledore but I have some injuries from a couple of years ago that keep being irritated once more. And at the ball this year, I disappeared early.”

“Yes, Lily and I noticed,” Severus nodded with a frown. Regulus was watching her quietly, curious. 

“Dolohov grabbed me. He silenced me and took me upstairs where he tortured me. I think he sort of assumed that was all I’d ever experienced in the area of horrible pain. He put this curse on me, the curse Lucius was trying to find a cure for, that would make James and I feel all the pain I’ve ever felt before if I revealed that he’d hurt me.”

“Oh,” Regulus breathed, understanding. Alexia nodded. 

“He came up to me during detention and I’d forgotten to take my potions, so I was shaking horribly. Fabian and Gideon were furious and I couldn’t convince them that he hadn’t hurt me so he cast the trigger curse. It wasn’t as bad for Jamie but… I’ve been having bits of amnesia and issues with pain and opened scars. There was one injury that it basically gave me again that, when I originally got it, almost killed me. It’s been bad.”

“So one of the things that’s happened to you, James experienced and that’s why you avoided him?” Regulus asked her softly. She nodded, looking away, and he felt horrible. “I am sorry. We had no right to interfere. We have no way to know what sort of thing you went through.”

She shrugged a little, staring at her hands quietly. “I don’t care if they know about the torture I’ve gone through, the times I’ve been cursed or the things I’ve seen, but that… that was something I hoped I could keep from anyone. Even my closest friends before I came here didn’t know. But the  _ cruciatus _ , it exposes your deepest, darkest memories and nightmares to you. A physical and psychological attack. James wouldn’t have seen anything near as painful as I have so he was shown… the worst of it.”

“And you were worried for how he would react,” Severus guesses. She nodded. 

“It was illogical but I worried he would tell Sirius. Mum figured it out because it happened to me again when the spell… so it came up on the scans that they used.”

“Your brother, for better or worse, loves you more than anything,” Severus told her slowly, uncomfortable defending James. “I do not believe he’d do anything to hurt you if he could avoid it.”

“And I get that,” she agreed. “Which is why I’m pissed off at Sirius and not Jamie.”

“And not me?”

She offered him a smile. “You didn’t know what had happened or any idea of what I’ve gone through. Sirius knows I trust you and, being the arse that he is, used that against me. Has he even talked to you like he promised he would?”

Regulus’s lips thinned. “I did not believe he would. He said you needed help, so I helped.”

“He’s an arse,” Alexia muttered. “I’m going to talk to him again. I don’t know what his problem is. He loves you  _ so much _ and sees us being friends and yet he talks as if you’ll call him a blood traitor.”

“Alexia.”

The girl froze, looking up at Lucius, who she had been firmly avoiding speaking to. He’d visited her many times, of course, but she hadn’t said much. Her manic conversations had terrified her, not to mention the way her memory would randomly disappear, leaving her convinced that she was in the middle of the war. Dorea had given her a sad smile and explained that it was likely because of her bad PTSD and that it would likely take a mind healer and time to heal if it ever  _ could _ be healed. 

“Lucius,” she greeted, irritated that her friends, who knew she was avoiding him, looked away and didn’t come to her rescue. “You look well.”

He offered her a smile, and the sight made her temporarily wonder why she’d ever avoid him. “You seem much better. I haven’t seen you much since you’ve gotten back.”

“I’ve been trying to keep to myself, for the most part,” she told him truthfully. 

“Do you think we could have a moment?”

Before she could decline, Severus and Regulus betrayed her and slipped away, leaving the pair alone in the relatively deserted area of the library. She scowled at their retreating figures and shook her head. “Yes, of course.”

Lucius let out a small laugh. “We don’t have to pretend you’re not avoiding me.”

She felt her shoulders drop and let out a small sigh. “I’m sorry. My… memory isn’t always good. I’m just worried-,”

“You’re worried you’ll hex me,” he guessed.

“Or worse,” she confirmed. “It’s… terrifying, Lucius. I don’t want to think you’re a threat and try to hurt you. You’re my friend and I truly value your company. I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize that.”

Lucius sat in front of her and reached out to put his hand over hers. The touch surprised her and she did her best not to flinch, mostly because she found it very calming and didn’t want him to take it away. “Alexia. It bothers me deeply that there will be a time in my life, a time you’ve already experienced, where I will seek to hurt you in the name of a bigot. I do not know everything that I or, apparently, my son have done but I know that whatever reaction you did have upon waking was well earned. You did not hurt me, regardless of threatening me, and I have faith that we could handle the situation if it arose again.”

Alexia bit her lip and looked up to meet his gaze. “I never meant to tell you about him.”

Lucius smiled. “You never meant to tell me anything I know today.”

“I don’t  _ want _ to avoid you,” she promised. “You keep me sane when I have to spend the majority of my time with my brother and Sirius. Severus and Regulus can be tiring as well, considering their issues with James and Sirius. You’re a refreshing break from the drama in my life and I greatly value that.”

“As do I.”

“What if I do hurt you? I know I look small and unimpressive but even at thirteen I knew things I shouldn’t have known.”

“If your memory fails you, I will call for Remus right away,” he assured her. “He was alive in your time, correct?”

Alexia nodded. “Last I saw him, he and his wife were injured but alive. No one else… no one else but Emmaline, I think, and she doesn’t know.”

“I will call for Remus and keep you as calm as I can until he gets there. I promise I will not let you hurt me, and I will not hurt you.”

Alexia hesitated before nodding and moving closer to hug him, surprising him. His hands hovered over her back for a moment before he patted it gently, breathing in the smell of her coconut shampoo. 

“Thank you, Lucius. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

* * *

**May 6th, 1973**

“We have a test tomorrow,” Lily scowled at James, flicking her wand to get rid of the blue powder dancing in the air around her. “You cannot use the common room for whatever idiotic prank you’re working on.”

“Hey,” Alexia frowned. “I get it when they’re doing it, but I’m helping with this one!” 

“Pranking itself is idiotic,” Lily told her friend. “You are not, though I do question your sanity for enjoying such things.”

Alexia shrugged as she waved her wand to collect the powder again into the bowl in front of Sirius. “It’s in my blood.”

“But you’re not blood siblings.”

“She’s got you there, Ash,” Sirius laughed, spelling the blue powder to be rainbow instead. James smacked his friend.

“She’s insulting pranking! We don’t agree with her!” 

“Anyway, Lils, we’ll be moving up to their dorm in just a second,” Alexia promised, gathering the yellow powder that was floating near James’ head into the bowl in front of Remus. 

“Lexi, if you get another detention, McGonagall is going to ban you from Hogsmeade next year,” Lily complained. Alexia froze, eyes wide.

“What? She can do that?”

“She told you she would!”

“ _ When _ ?”

“Yesterday! While giving you detention! She said, ‘Miss Potter, if you get another detention before the end of the year, I will have no choice but to refuse you entry to Hogsmeade next year.’ And then she told you to clean up the Great Hall because Filch refused, which is fair, considering the amount of pumpkin juice you poured from the ceiling.”

“It was funny!” Alexia defended. “The ceiling replicates rain but it never falls, so I thought everyone could get their pumpkin juice in a more… creative way.”

“Please, Lexi, I’m begging you,” the redhead told her. “No more detentions. Do your pranks, whatever, but stop getting caught!”

“Fine,” she sighed, her shoulders slumping. “Fine, but that means you guys have to cover for me.”

“You got it, Ash,” James nodded. “No detentions for you.”

Lily nodded curtly and sat in the chair, waiting as the five of them gathered up the products for the prank they’d planned for that upcoming Wednesday and carried it up to the boys dorm, where they settled it all in a spare trunk that sat against the wall holding their community prank products. Once they were all settled in, Alexia grabbed the parchment that sat between Sirius and Remus’s beds and got back to drawing.

“How are we ever going to get it to work?” Peter questioned. “That would take a lot of advanced charms.”

“And runes and wards,” Alexia agreed. “I’ve got a good long list of what we’ll need to put on it. Once it’s drawn completely, I have to get it connected to the castle - no I won’t tell you lot how - and then we can start placing the magic on it. I’ll need everyone’s help with that.”

“This was a brilliant idea, Moony,” James told Remus with a grin. 

“How long till you think it’ll be done?” Sirius questioned, tugging Alexia’s hair gently. She shrugged. 

“Maybe the rest of the year. If it really takes that long, we can do the spells and stuff at the beginning of next year or I can do some over the summer.”

“Brilliant,” the boy grinned. “And when do we get to use our Animagi forms to help you, Moony?”

“Never.”

“Aw, come on!” James whined, sitting up to look at their friend. “Lex hasn’t even see our forms!”

“Then show her now,” Remus scowled. “You’re not coming out with me. It’s dangerous.”

“Let’s just leave it for now,” Peter suggested, sensing the werewolf’s rising temper. “Lexi, I’ve got a question.”

“Hmm?”

“If you’ve got us as friends, why do you hang out with so many Slytherins?”

She genuinely considered the question. There was no malice in his voice and she knew he was just curious. “Well, Pete, they’re good people, as much as Jamie or Sirius disagree. They want to make sure I’m safe and they’re good to study with or talk to.”

“But they’re Slytherins.”

“If I hadn’t threatened to throw the Sorting Hat into the Black Lake, I would be one, too. Mum says I’m more Slytherin than I am Gryffindor.” 

“Really?”

Alexia nodded, looking up from the map. Sirius took it from her and continued drawing as she spoke. “I’ve been through a lot and it’s hard not to be resourceful or determined or have a strong sense of self preservation. Daring isn’t my priority anymore, nor is bravery.”

“So why did you threaten the hat then?”

Alexia grinned, looking to her brother, who smiled back at her. “Because I refuse to be separated from Jamie.”

* * *

**May 8th, 1973**

Sirius let out a startled gasp when the door slammed shut before he could leave the room. The five Marauders had once more fallen asleep in the boys’ dorm, planning the group pranks they planned to pull for the rest of the year since Alexia was unable to pull her own anymore. James, Remus, and Peter had already gotten ready and left, and he’d done the same and was about to leave when Alexia had spelled the door shut. He turned around to frown at her, nervous. The deep frown on her face did nothing to help him relax.

“Ash?”

“Look, Padfoot, I’ve tried to stay out of it,” she told him, dropping her hand to her side and slipping her wand back into the holster. “I love you. You’re one of my best friends. But so is Regulus and-,”

“I don’t want to hear this,” he interrupted with a scowl.

“I don’t give a shit,” she snapped, shutting him up. “You’re going to listen to me and then I’m going to leave and let you do whatever you want with this. Because I shouldn’t have to get involved for you to give a shit about your little brother.”

“Hey, I do-,”

“No, you don’t,” she glared. “You’ve ignored him for two years now. He’s  _ hurt _ . He wants his brother back, Sirius. He wants to talk to you. And I get it, you’re afraid of his reaction, but I’ve been friends with him all year and he’s yet to call me a blood traitor. For Merlin’s sake, Sirius, he was going to openly dose Dolohov for insulting you and I! You need to get your head out of your ass. He’s hurting. He misses you. He loves you.  _ He has told me this _ . Just talk to him, Sirius.”

Sirius stared at her quietly, furious at her for trying to interfere. The fury was edged out, however, by the deep guilt that his brother was so upset over the way he was acting. He wasn’t given the chance to reply because Alexia waved her hand at the door, opening it wandlessly, and stormed out, slamming it shut again once she was gone.

* * *

“Alexia,” Lucius greeted with a small smile and a raised eyebrow. “You are at the wrong table.”

“I’ve just yelled at Sirius and I do not wish to be scolded for it,” she explained. “And on the off chance he listened to me, I don’t want to be scolded by Regulus for saying something.”

“I see,” her friend nodded, pouring her tea for her. She shot him a thankful smile and grabbed it, sipping at it. “And so you are reverting to your usual avoidance tactic.”

Alexia narrowed her eyes at him, giving him a look she’d never given before. “If you’d rather I sit elsewhere, I’m sure Pandora wouldn’t mind me-,”

“No,” he laughed softly. “I simply think you’re a very poor Gryffindor.”

“Yeah, so does everyone else,” she rolled her eyes as she made her plate, confident she wouldn’t be booted from her seat. “I’m aware that it would make more sense for me to be a Slytherin, but I can’t leave Jamie.”

“Severus told me Lily was complaining about your dangerous amount of detentions,” Lucius said casually. Alexia made a face.

“McGonagall apparently told me that if I get another one this year, I won’t be allowed to go to Hogsmeade. We’re pausing our prank war for it and I only get to help plan pranks, not carry them out. I think it was the St. Patrick’s Day prank that put me over the edge, honestly.”

“That would be a shame,” Lucius told her with a nod. “I was hoping to ask you to go to Hogsmeade with me next year.”

Alexia nearly choked on the toast she was eating and forced herself to remain calm, remembering every lesson Dorea had given her. “Would that not be inappropriate?”

“Not at all,” he assured her. She offered him a smile.

“I would love to go with you.”

* * *

Alexia walked into the boys’ dorm room and walked over to pick up the map to work on it more, humming quietly to herself. It was only when she turned to walk out that she saw Sirius and Regulus staring at her, both frowning. She froze in spot, not sure she was breathing.

“Ash,” Sirius said after a second. She let out the breath she’d been holding, eyes wide. 

“Um… hello.”

“Hello, Alexia,” Regulus greeted, raising an eyebrow the way he did when he was annoyed. She winced. Both Black brothers were upset with her and it was a rather uncomfortable feeling. 

“If you guys are gonna yell at me, please do it now,” she requested. “If I’m not in class soon, I’ll get a detention and I  _ really _ need to avoid those.”

“We’re not gonna yell, kitten,” Sirius shook his head at her. “We’re concerned.”

She blinked in confusion. “Why?”

“Lucius Malfoy is courting you,” Regulus told her. She looked between them. 

“What?”

“He’s been working on it all year and Zabini heard him ask you to Hogsmeade,” Sirius scowled. She looked between them again, confused. 

“Okay. And…?”

“And he’s evil!” Sirius shouted. Regulus pinched the bridge of his nose, obviously worried for a different reason.

“He can’t properly court you, Alexia,” he explained. “He has to marry someone that aligns with his family’s politics and that certainly isn’t you.”

“I know,” she blinked. “We both know that. We’re not planning to get  _ married _ . Jeez. It’s a date. We will have a date and if it goes well, we will have more. I’m well aware that he will have to pick someone else and so is he.”

“Then why date him at all?” Sirius asked, getting to his real issue. Why date Lucius if she would just end up with him?

Alexia shook her head at him. “Because I shouldn’t forget to live my life just because of the inevitable. I have faith that where we both end up, we’ll be happy. I know I will be, Sirius. But right now, we’re far from that. Would you want to only date one person your entire life just because you knew you’d end up with someone else?”

Sirius considered the question, frowning at her as he did so. “No, I… I guess not.”

“Just be careful,” Regulus requested. “I’ll admit you’ll be more safe with him.”

“We aren’t even going on the date until next year,” Alexia pointed out with a small laugh. She could see Sirius really processing what she’d said and was glad to see him nod firmly to himself. “You guys need to relax. Are you only here to talk about me?”

“No,” Sirius told her quickly. “As a matter of fact, get out.”

“Yes, sir,” she snapped off a mock salute and ducked out of the room, map in hand and a small smile on her face. She wasn’t sure how Sirius had smuggled Regulus into Gryffindor, but she was glad he had.

* * *

**June 3rd, 1973**

Exams were upon them and, despite having taken these exams years ago, Alexia was nervous. She’d spent hours in the library with her Slytherins, Lily, and Remus. She’d read through her textbooks countless times and had practiced everything more than she was willing to admit. She aced her exams, of course, and once she’d finished her DADA exam, she was immediately excused to her common room. She slipped through the passages and into her common room, grinning at the sight of the twins. She hadn’t had any time alone with them since the whole Dolohov thing on St. Patrick’s Day and she felt horrible. The issue was how protective her friends and brother had gotten. Now, however, they weren’t there. She walked over and plopped down between the redheaded brothers.

“Alexia!” Fabian exclaimed with a grin. 

“You’re alive!” 

“Yeah,” she shook her head when they each tossed an arm around her shoulders. “Sorry. Everyone is very clingy now.”

“We’ve been worried, Pip,” Fabian told her seriously, Gideon nodding along. “Last we heard from you was screaming.”

“I heard you hexed Dolohov so bad he was in the infirmary for three days,” she raised an eyebrow, uncomfortable. Harry and Ron had told her about her screams as well and she’d hated it then, too.

“Bloody deserved it,” Gideon confirmed. “We don’t know what he did to you but it was horrible.”

“An old, old curse,” she explained. “I’m okay, better for the most part.”

“Dolohov still hates you,” Fabian warned her. “He’s a horrible person, Alexia.”

“You need to be careful,” Gideon agreed. Alexia made a face at them.

“Does no one think I’m careful? Sure, the Quidditch thing was a mistake, but he’d tried to kill my brother. I’m not  _ inviting _ him to attack me so much. He’s just hung up on me. I can’t help that.”

“We know,” Fabian agreed.

“That’s why we’re going to be looking out for you.”

Alexia shook her head at them but smiled a little. She adored them and how much they cared for her reminded her of Fred and George, and she couldn’t help but feel grateful for their friendship.

* * *

**June 17th, 1973**

The train was waiting as students dragged their feet to get to it, but no one more than the Black brothers and their friends. 

Sirius and Regulus had come to an agreement to, for Regulus’s safety, continue acting as if they hate each other at home. It was deeply unlikely that anyone at school would tell Walburga they were close again, so their main worry for the time being was keeping it from the nasty woman. 

It meant that the brothers decided to spend the train ride in a compartment together, leaving everyone else alone as they spent the last time they’d be able to spend together for a few months alone.

Alexia sat in a compartment with Severus, Lucius, and Lily as the train pulled away from Hogsmeade station. Lily was still nervous around Lucius despite one of her best friends being friends with him for two full years, which led to amusing conversations between the two, like the one that Severus and Alexia were observing right then.

“Your mother does  _ what _ ?”

“She’s a brain surgeon?” Lily frowned, eyes wide. She’d only mentioned it in passing to Alexia, who had questioned the girl about her parents. “Do you not have that?”

“We do not,” Lucius told her slowly. “What does it entail?”

“It means that if there’s tumors or something of the sort in the brain, she can surgically remove it.”

“By opening up her head and taking it out of her brain.”

“Well, how else would she do it? My parents are muggles - they don’t have magic to do it any other way.”

“That is terrifying.”

Alexia grinned and pulled her left sleeve up to show him a long scar on her wrist. “I got this when I was eight. I had to get stitches, which is when they poke through your skin with a needle and tie it up with a sort of medical string.”

“Muggles are… much tougher than I previously believed,” Lucius told her slowly, touching the scar lightly. The touch made her shiver a little, and she offered him a startled smile before covering it again. “How did you get injured?”

She frowned a little, remembering the incident and deciding to lie. “I just fell. Nothing as impressive as the rest of my scars.”

“Impressive?” Lily frowned at her. “Lexi, you have nightmares from the things you’ve experienced and you’d call it impressive?”

Alexia struggled to put her thoughts into words. “Perhaps impressive is the wrong word. I simply mean there are much more worthy reasons to scar my body than falling. I’ve fought werewolves, wizards twice my age, and been petrified by a basilisk. I’d say my injuries from my adventures are more worthy of scarring my body than something so muggle.”

“I wholly disagree,” Lily told her with a deep frown, upset. “Why would you want to remember those things?”

Alexia let out a short laugh. “Honestly, Lils? Those things are some of the less traumatic events I’ve been through. For Merlin’s sake, the basilisk mostly  _ annoyed _ me. I missed exams!” 

“Of course you’d be upset over that,” Severus rolled his eyes at her. 

“It’s not that I want to remember the shitty things,” she continued, looking at the confused and upset redhead. “It’s just that after a while, it starts to feel ridiculous to get scars from something so small when I’ve also got scars from being hunted for a year and fighting Vol- fighting bigots.”

“I can understand that,” Lucius agreed. “Relishing in scars and how they’ve gotten them is common among veterans.”

Alexia reeled back in shock, unsettled by the anxiety that bloomed in her. Only Severus seemed to notice, and she shook her head at his frown. She had never put that word to her. She’d fought a war, sure, but she wasn’t done, was she? She was back in time and would be fighting once more, so it made her less of a veteran and more of an active soldier. 

“I think I’m going to go check on Jamie and everyone else,” she told her friends, slipping out of the compartment before they could reply. She was halfway to where she knew Sirius and Regulus were when Remus grabbed her hand, startling her. It took all of her self control not to pull her wand on him.

“Alex,” he said softly as she pulled him along to Sirius and Regulus’s compartment. When they slipped inside and she sat down, he frowned at her. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” she waved him off. At his disbelieving look, she sighed. “Our conversation took an… unsettling turn.”

“You okay, kitten?”

Alexia shot the brothers a smile, finding herself next to Regulus, who was looking at her in concern. “I just need a break from them. Lucius is learning about muggles.”

“I’d pay to see that,” Sirius laughed. 

“Really, Alex,” Remus muttered. “You’re not okay.”

Alexia sucked in a deep breath, feeling the itch of dissociation come on. While it hadn’t been an issue before, it had quickly become one after the curse Dolohov had set on her. Whenever she felt herself dissociating, she knew what would happen. Remus seemed to feel and recognize it as well, because he looked at Regulus in alarm.

“Regulus, I’m sorry, can we have a moment?”

“Of course,” he said, frowning at the dizzy and confused look on his friend’s face. Once he was gone, Remus took his seat and sat next to her, grabbing her hand. 

“Alex, come on,” he whispered. It was rare, but he could sometimes bring her back to reality. He knew it was a lost cause when the confusion was replaced with fear. 

“Remus?” she whispered, tense and terrified. 

“You’re okay,” he promised as Sirius set up a few wards around the compartment. “How do you feel?”

“What happened?”

“You were hurt, but now you’re okay,” he told her as he always did. Since Sirius was there, he frowned. “There was an accident. It’s June, 1973. You’re safe.”

“W-what?” she breathed in fast, gasping in shock when she looked to find Sirius next to her. “Oh my god… Sirius…”

“Hey, kitten,” the boy smiled, touching her shoulder gently. They all knew touching her too quickly or hard during these episodes was a recipe for disaster. She’d hexed Peter when he’d done it on accident, and since then, they were all careful. “You’re okay. Just some memory loss.”

“I have to… I don’t understand,” she told them, afraid. “We have to get into her vaults. The next one is in there. I need Harry, we have to talk about how to get in there. Is he okay? Oh my god- is he okay?”

“He’s fine,” Remus assured her quickly. “He’s safe in the future. You’re in the past, Hermione. Look at Sirius and I. Look at yourself. We’re all young.”

Alexia paused with a frown. “What… happened?”

“You were hurt,” Sirius told her. “And then you got to safety. After that, you told us you guys ended the war. You got sent back in time, kitten. You can’t remember because you’re so scared.”

“But you’re safe,” Remus agreed, rubbing her hand gently. “And you’ll be safe when you get back to the future, okay?”

“Why am I so scared?” she asked in a whisper. The boys exchanged a look.

“We don’t know,” Sirius admitted. 

“I felt your fear and anxiety and followed you in here. Look, we’re on the Hogwarts Express, Hermione. You’re safe here with us.”

“The… Hogwarts Express?” she frowned before her eyes opened in fear. “We can’t go to Hogwarts! They’ll kill us!” 

Both boys paused before Sirius returned to her. It was worse than usual, a tighter grip on her mind. “Kitten, do you trust me?”

“I’ve always trusted you.”

The words made him hesitate. Still, he knew it would work. He knew it would help her. “I know how I can help you, okay? I’m going to kiss you.”

“Padfoot!” Remus snapped angrily. The boy glared at his friend. 

“Not because I want to kiss her,” he huffed. “Because it’ll ignite our bond and that should be strong enough to help her.”

“Bond?” Alexia frowned in confusion. Sirius nodded. 

“We’ve got a soul bond,” he told her, the world making his heart skip like it did every time he talked about it. “You’ll remember. I promise. And I promise I won’t do this again until you’re ready to kiss me, okay? I’m not doing this because I want to kiss you but because I’m worried about you and want to help you.”

Alexia frowned at him but nodded a little, unsure how to process his words with her mind so muddled and scared. He took in a deep breath and leaned forward to touch their lips together gently. Remus moved to block them from view of the rest of the train as Alexia froze, feeling the tight string inside her core pulled on. It warmed up, blasting away all cloudiness in her mind as her entire being focused on the bond instead. Her gasp interrupted the kiss, and instead of deepening it, he backed off and looked at her closely, trying to ensure she was okay. 

“Fuck,” she whispered, closing her eyes and gripping her head. “That  _ hurts _ . It’s… getting worse.”

“Oh, thank merlin,” Sirius breathed in relief. “Remus was about to hex me.”

“Thank you,” she told him after hesitating. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, kitten,” he smiled before pausing. “Wait, no. Not anytime. Well… if you like, really really need it. I’m not gonna just kiss you for no reason. Not that there was no reason, there was  _ plenty  _ of reason, but-,”

“Shut up, Padfoot,” she let out a laugh, wincing in pain when she did. “I know. I’m thanking you for helping me, not for specifically kissing me.” 

“Oh. Yeah.”

Remus rolled his eyes at the pair and opened the doors to leave them, mostly because he was terrified at how deeply she’d been caught in that one and he needed to let James know she was okay. 

* * *

“Are you alright?”

Alexia jumped and pulled her wand, shoving it at… Lucius. He stayed still and she let out a slow breath, shoving her wand away. She was always more paranoid and easily startled after one of her episodes, which made it easy to spot for her closer friends, Lucius included. “Merlin. Yes, I’m alright.”

“Are you in pain?” he asked, well aware that the episodes irritated her mind. They’d been diagnosed as a sort of suppression over certain memories, which often left her in pain, more pain for the longer it lasted. 

“Quite a bit,” she answered him honestly. “It was a worse one.”

Lucius nodded and grabbed her bag down for her and  _ accio _ ’d a pain potion out, ones specifically meant for the mind. Once she drank it down and threw the bottle out, he sat next to her. “Who were you with?”

“I was with Sirius, Remus, and Regulus when it started,” she shrugged. “They must’ve sent Reg away because he wasn’t there when I came to. It was really hard to get rid of.”

“Will you be seeing a mind healer?”

She frowned at him. “You more than anyone know that I can’t let anyone see what’s in my mind. I’d love to fix this, but I just can’t until I get to the future again.”

“Alexia, that’s six years,” he reminded her in concern. “Perhaps you can find one and have them take a Vow.”

Alexia shook her head. “I refuse to put more people in danger. I know things that Voldemort would torture and kill me himself for. I know how to kill him and how to end the war for good. There’s a reason he was hunting me, Lucius. I know too much and so do my friends.”

“Why would you have a difficult time killing him?”

She shrugged. “He’s obsessed with immortality.”

“It’s impossible, save for the philosopher’s stone and Horcruxes.”

Alexia did her best not to react. Apparently, it wasn’t that good of an attempt. 

“ _ Alexia _ ,” Lucius hissed, grabbing her arm carefully. “He’s made-,”

“Lucius, stop,” she interrupted. “I mean it. The more you know, the more danger you’re in.”

“Tell me you’ve destroyed it.”

“He wouldn’t be dead otherwise,” she confirmed with a sharp nod.

“How? Fiendfyre is near impossible to control and while you mentioned a basilisk, their venom kills anything it touches and they’re also near impossible to kill.”

Alexia hesitated. One Horcrux  _ had _ been killed via Fiendfyre, though most had been destroyed with basilisk venom or, in Harry’s case, the Killing Curse. “Basilisk venom.”

“Are you lying?”

“No,” she told him slowly. He had the infuriating ability to tell whenever she lied, but she truly wasn’t. “It’s just complicated. Basilisk venom was imperative to Voldemort’s ultimate death.”

Lucius was quiet for another moment and she felt him considering her words before he stiffened, his hand still on her arm. It was a comforting touch and she hoped he wouldn’t move it. “He has more than one.”

“Lucius-,”

“Alexia, that can make a person  _ dangerously _ unstable.”

She let out a laugh. “Yeah, not surprising. He’s fucking psychotic, Lucius. He’s done horrible, despicable things. He wanted to live forever. It’s hilarious that he died younger than Dumbledore did.”

“How many does he have?”

At that point, she knew there was no point withholding the truth. “He will have seven. We went on the run not just because he wanted us all dead but also because we were hunting them down. It… took some time. The reason Bellatrix tortured me was because she thought we’d been in her vaults and took the one she had. We broke in after that and stole it. Saved the poor dragon, too.”

Lucius stared at her in wonder as he took in everything she’d just revealed. “And you did it? You killed them all?”

She nodded quickly. “One was killed in second year, one was killed by Dumbledore, one was killed after months on the run, the next one was killed during the final battle, as well as another one, which was with fiendfyre as opposed to all the others, spare one. The next one was killed toward the end of the battle, and the final one was killed just in time for us to kill him.”

“Merlin,” Lucius breathed, looking at her in amazement. “That is incredible, Alexia.”

She hummed in response, unwilling to dwell on it. He’d given the diary to Ginny which had ultimately gotten her petrified and nearly killed one of her best friends. She’d nearly died to get the information that the next one was in his future sister-in-law’s vaults, and the entire thing just reminded her of how they’d fight one another for years. She was startled from her frustrating thoughts by the feeling of him stroking his thumb across her wrist. She offered him a pleased smile and leaned back to close her eyes, content to ignore her past and live in the present, because considering the future and past was terribly frustrating and confusing, and she did enjoy the moment they shared. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I've mentioned this but looking at your guys' reaction is making me think about how grateful I am that I was so wrong about how the people here would react to my writing. For some godforsaken reason, I'd convinced myself that my story would be torn apart because it has its not great moments but like? Y'all are so fucking nice? Legit I'm shocked but thank you so much


	15. Just A Ghost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That weird Diagon Alley scene and some Sirius/Regulus stuff later.

**Chapter Fifteen**

_ If I keep moving, they won’t know _

_ What they throw at me’s to slow _

_ I’ll morph to someone else _

_ I’m just a ghost _

**August 16th, 1973**

James grinned upon catching sight of Sirius in Quality Quidditch Supplies. When he made for the store, Alexia rolled her eyes at him, not seeing the other boy, and moved on, walking into the bookstore. The familiar smell of old and new books was comforting and, after the stressful summer she’d had, she welcomed that. She was picking at the muggle fantasy books when someone tapped her shoulder. She turned to see Severus and smiled brightly, wrapping him up in a hug. 

“It’s so nice to see you,” she told him happily. “I was so sad that you couldn’t make it this summer.”

“Mother had us traveling the entire time,” he replied with a slight eye roll. “I’m staying with Lily for the last couple of weeks.”

“Wonderful!” Alexia grinned. “Perhaps you can come over now. Where is she?”

“Getting new robes,” he gave a long-suffering sigh that made her giggle. “She kept asking me if I thought the color or cut fit her. I don’t know, Alex. They’re all robes to me.”

“Yeah,” she shook her head and turned back to the books. “I had a really hard time with that stuff growing up. It took me until I was fourteen before my friend Ginny took pity on me and explained fashion to me.”

“You’re definitely not the type to spend hours looking for robes,” Severus agreed. Alexia laughed and nodded, dropping a few books into the basket. She’d run out of reading material and Dorea had demanded that she buy a few things as well as bring some books from Potter Manor. She turned and moved sections and he followed her, looking curiously at what she stopped in front of. “Occlumency? You already know it, don’t you?”

Alexia shrugged a little, picking up a book she hadn’t read yet and putting it into the basket. “Yes, but I’m not as confident in my shields as I’d like to be.”

“Who do you think would bother with your shields?”

While Voldemort was the first name that came to mind, she spoke the next one, the only one he’d accept easily. “Dolohov.”

Severus looked at her for a moment, concern showing. “He really scared you.”

Alexia bit her lip. “I don’t give a shit about myself, Sev. He can hurt me however much he wants and chances are, I won’t care. But he hurt my brother, and I know that the spell wouldn’t have worked as well if I had better shields. I did plenty of reading on it. It works off the mind and memories. I should’ve done better and I didn’t and because of that, James felt things he never should have felt.”

“It’s not your fault.”

She turned to look at his frowning face, blinking. “I knew he was dangerous, Sev. I knew I shouldn’t have instigated him, but Regulus wasn’t going to drop it so I had to help. Then the ball… and the game, and I got so  _ angry _ and I couldn’t help but curse him. So really, I just kept instigating him. I just want to protect my mind in case something happens again.” 

“Sev!” 

Alexia looked around his friend and grinned at the sight of Lily rushing into the shop. Lily smiled back brightly and rushed over to hug her before stepping back. 

“How long have you guys been here?” she asked them. 

“Just a few minutes,” Alexia answered, moving onto the school books they’d need. All three kids grabbed their books together. The shop had, quite helpfully, placed a number of the assigned book for each subject and each year in the Hogwarts section, making it extremely easy and quick to take care of that. “Jamie went to look at Quidditch things. I think he’s getting a new broom again.”

“Where are your parents?” Severus wondered. 

“They left me in charge. They’ve got more business at Gringott’s with…  _ someone _ , I don’t really know who. They wouldn’t tell me.”

“Regulus,” Lily greeted. Alexia’s eyes lit up and she looked her friend over critically, relieved when she found him looking perfectly healthy. She hugged him quickly. “Where’s Sirius?”

“With James,” the boy answered. Alexia blinked. 

“He was in there? I didn’t even see him…” she shook herself. “No matter. Is your mother here? I wouldn’t want you to be seen speaking with me if she is.”

“No, Father brought us,” Regulus promised. “He’s got some business in Gringott’s, so we’re to do our shopping on our own.”

“Business?” Alexia wondered.

“Yes, something to do with Sirius,” Regulus shrugged. 

Suspicion filled Alexia and her lips thinned. “Excuse me.”

“Your books,” Lily exclaimed. Alexia ignored her and rushed out of the shop, leaving the basket in Severus’s hands as she rushed into the bank. She looked around for a free goblin. 

“Excuse me. My parents have summoned me here for their business with Orion Black.”

“Parents?”

“Dorea and Charlus Potter.”

The goblin looked her over before nodding curtly. She followed him through the bank and to a room a floor down. He opened the door and her eyes narrowed at the sight of Charlus and Orion speaking to one another. 

“I knew it!” she exclaimed, blushing only a little at the sight of Dorea’s glare. “You can’t do this!” 

“Alexia,” Dorea said sharply. “What are you doing here?”

“You’re drawing up a contract!” 

“Alexia-,”

“No, Dad,” she shook her head. “How do you even know?”

“Soul bonds are filed with the Heads of Houses,” Orion informed her, raising an eyebrow. “Your father knew immediately.”

Alexia’s mouth fell open a little bit as she turned to look at her father. “You did?”

“Of course, princess,” he sighed. “And you may not like it, and you may plan on dating others first, but the two most powerful Houses in the wizarding world  _ will _ someday join together. We have to prepare for that, dear.”

“Mum, I don’t want to be traded off,” she said, trying not to whine. “If Sirius and I- I don’t want to be forced into it because of some contract.”

“I believe Sirius would abandon his magic and live amongst muggles before following through with a strict contract,” Orion told her. “This is to protect our families’ assets. No one will be forced to do anything.”

Alexia looked to her parents for confirmation and the pair nodded at her. She felt a blush creep up her cheeks and smiled sheepishly. “I’m sorry for barging in. It’s just that Sirius and I have discussed our bond already and I was concerned-” she shook her head. “Thank you... Does his mother know?”

“Walburga believes he is to marry Elora Zabini,” Orion shook his head. “She will not be told otherwise until it is necessary to do so.”

Alexia thought back to the little that Sirius had told him of his childhood, including the times he’d been hurt for refusing Voldemort. “No offense, sir, but don’t you want him to be the perfect pureblood Slytherin?”

“What I want is of no consequence,” Orion told her firmly. “My son is strong-willed. If he decides he loves you and wishes to be with you, that is what he will do, just as he decided he wanted to join Gryffindor or befriend the Potter twins. We cannot control him and I will not try to - that is my wife.”

“And Regulus?”

The question seemed to catch him off guard. “Regulus is also free to make his own decisions, though he fears Walburga far more than his brother.”

“Now, dear, please return to your brother and ensure he hasn’t burnt down the shops,” Dorea suggested. The look in her eye spoke of a scolding later and Alexia nodded and curtsied to Orion before rushing out of the room and then from the bank. When she finally got back to the Quidditch store, she found her brother and Sirius had separated and she moved to Sirius, grabbing his arm. 

“Merlin, Ash, you scared me,” he shook his head before frowning at her. “What’s wrong?”

“My parents and your father are writing us up a contract.”

“ _ What _ ?”

A few heads turned to look at them and she scowled. “Be quiet. Regulus told me your dad has business in Gringott’s and my parents do as well. I found them writing it. Your dad said it’s dependent on our agreement and that it’s mainly to protect all assets involved. Apparently, our families knew as soon as the bond was ignited.”

“Shit,” Sirius whispered. “Does Walburga-,”

“No,” she shook her head quickly. “He said he wouldn’t say anything.”

“And your parents… they’re not going to _ tell _ anyone, right?”

Alexia shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know, Sirius. I’ll ask them not to. I assume they already know that we don’t want it getting out.”

“Merlin,” he breathed. While he processed, she took the time to look him over. The only sign that anything was amiss was a bruise on his cheek. She raised her hand and touched it gently, and he started, looking at her. “I’m okay.”

“No, you’re not,” she disagreed softly. She bit her lip. “Why hasn’t this been healed?”

“It was this morning,” Sirius sighed, grabbing her hand and holding it within his own to stop her from touching it. She squeezed, letting out a small sigh of relief at the touch. 

“I’ve been so worried,” she told him. “I tried writing and I wasn’t surprised when my letters came back, but…” she shook her head. “Jamie told me not to worry.”

“I’m okay, kitten,” he promised her. 

“Lexi!” James exclaimed, finally spotting them when he turned to get Sirius’s attention. “When did you come in here?”

“Just a minute ago,” she answered. “I left the bookstore to- oh! My books!”

The boys watched, amused, as she dropped Sirius’s hand and ran from the store and back to the bookstore where her friends were waiting, looking through the books. Severus held her basket and she blushed, taking it back from him.

“I’m so sorry,” she told them. “There was just something urgent I had to take care of.”

“That has to do with my father doing business in Gringott’s?” Regulus questioned. She frowned a little.

“No, my parents are there, too. I just had to make sure they wouldn’t do anything we’d regret.”

“Such as?”

“No matter, it’s all fine,” she assured him, sweeping away from them to go pay for her books. Once that was done, the group moved onto potion supplies and moved on with their day.

* * *

**September 1st, 1973**

James stared at his sister as she tapped her foot anxiously. He could feel the anxiety rolling off of her but couldn’t tell  _ why _ . When Sirius had gotten up to go see Regulus, she’d grabbed his arm desperately, startling everyone in the compartment, including herself.

“Ash?” Sirius frowned in concern. “What’s wrong?”

She hesitated and dropped her hand, blinking at herself. “Nothing. I think I need to take a walk.”

“Want me to come with, Lex?”

Alexia shot James a smile that promised she’d be okay. With a small nod, he let her go without another word. Once she was gone, he sat back, frustrated.

“What’s going on, Prongs?” Sirius asked with a frown. “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen her so scared for me.”

“She had a tough summer,” he admitted, sure that she’d tell them anyway. “Her memory issues are… not getting better. She had some sort of breakdown a couple weeks into the summer and mum and dad took her to a mind healer but she refused to let them help her.”

“Shit,” Remus cursed. “I was worried this would happen.”

“She says things that… make no sense,” James told them slowly. “Dad told me to call for him or Mum whenever it happens but the things she says before I can are… confusing. It takes her a really long time to understand that I’m not Harry… she also mentioned Malfoy Manor and Bellatrix.”

“Yeah,” Sirius frowned. “I know. But that’s it?”

James shrugged. “She’s started to be like… in other times when it happens. There was one time that she thought she was supposed to be at a wedding during an attack.”

“Have you talked to her about it?” Peter asked, worried. He wasn’t as close with Alexia as they were, but he still adored her. She was the one that befriended him first and invited him into their group. 

She was the reason he was a Marauder. 

James shrugged helplessly. “She doesn’t want to talk about it. It upsets her and frustrates her and then I feel her get all… fuzzy, like she’s detached from everything, and then her memory gets all fucked up.”

“Maybe it’ll be better now that she’s at school,” Remus suggested. James let out a short laugh, though his brows were pinched in worry.

“The first time I ever mentioned Hogwarts to her, she had a panic attack. I don’t think it helps her.”

“Then we just have to make sure someone that knows what’s happening is with her at all times,” Sirius said firmly. The other boys nodded slowly.

* * *

“What are you thinking?”

Alexia opened her eyes to look at Lucius, who was observing her quietly. “The summer. How the year is going to go. Shit, I assume.”

“Why?”

She let out a short sigh, the thoughts that had been plaguing her for months finally ready to be released. “My original third year was the year I met Sirius. He’d spent twelve years in Azkaban after being framed for James and Lily’s deaths. He broke out to protect Harry. He was so… broken. I was looking at him earlier and I kept comparing him to the man I met. It’s terrifying. I don’t want him to become that. I don’t want Remus to become the man I knew, so broken. I don’t want Severus to become dark and torn apart. I don’t want you to…” she shook her head. “It’s a hard reminder of the future. Aside from that, my episodes have… changed.”

“Changed?” he frowned at her in concern. He’d done a lot of reading about the curse used after she’d described it to him the year before and it typically didn’t  _ change _ , though that was likely because most people got mind healing for the damage. There was no saying what it was doing to her mind, being left for so long.

Alexia sighed and hugged her knees to her chest, her back against the wall. Lucius sat on the bench with her, and she bit her lip. “I had one that was set months before… Bellatrix. And before I came in here, I had one where I thought I was  _ fifteen _ . That’s a lot of time, Lucius.”

“It is,” he agreed softly. She could see the clear worry in his eyes and while she wished she could assure him she was okay, she knew that she very well may not be. “Have you had any others with such a dramatic time difference?”

“No,” she shook her head. “My parents tried to get me to see a mind healer, but… as I told you, I just can’t.”

“When you were fifteen, did you trust Remus?”

“I did,” she confirmed. “This was during the year when Umbridge was-” she cut off and shook her head. She’d told no one that the woman had considered her to be the next best source of knowledge when Harry had been unwilling to tell her what she wanted, despite the blood quill. It had led to some painful hours and a lot of shaking. “Before the DOM. Sirius was alive and I wrote both of them often.”

“That’s good,” he told her honestly, concerned over how she’d tensed up at her own words. “Do the teachers know?”

Alexia shook her head. “I refuse to tell anyone that doesn’t need to know.”

“I need to know?” he raised an eyebrow. “Keep in mind, you didn’t trust me in your fifth year.”

She did her best not to blush. “You’re my friend, Lucius. I care for you and spend time with you quite often. I think you’d be rather startled to find me believing myself to be a terrified fifth year supporting the pranks of Fred and George.”

“Fred and George?”

She waved him off. “My friend’s brothers. They’re a lot like Fabian and Gideon and raised hell for Umbridge after I spoke with them. I gave them some tips. I didn’t appreciate pranks then, but Umbridge was… unbearable.” 

“You are shaking.”

Alexia looked down to find that he was right. She cursed softly and let her head fall back against the wall behind her, closing her eyes, annoyed. 

“Have you missed your potions?”

“No, not at all,” she assured him, not looking at him. “I haven’t spoken so much about Umbridge since we had to break into the Ministry.”

“Alexia, why does she make you shake?”

Alexia waved her hand over the top of her left hand, removing the glamour she’d constantly held since fifth year, and handed it over. He took it within his own to look at it, reading the words that had lightly scarred her skin. It would’ve gone away, too, but blood quills are dark magic that call on the blood to keep the skin scarred. 

“‘I will not plot against the ministry,’” Lucius read softly. “She used a blood quill on you.”

“Yes,” Alexia sighed, letting him hold onto her hand. He was staring at it darkly as if he could glare it into going away. “She was also my first experience with the  _ Cruciatus _ . I have to say, hers is certainly weak compared to Bellatrix or Dolohov.”

“Do you think this a joke?” he asked her, furious that a teacher had hurt her so permanently. 

“Of course not,” she snapped at his angry tone. “But what the hell do you want me to do? I’m not lying, Lucius. She wasn’t as bad as them. The ministry was well aware that she has a history of dark magic when she was placed, Sirius told me as much. He said she had a history of it  _ now _ . No one was going to protect me, okay? Sirius tried to. He was fucking furious. He threatened to come to the school himself and get rid of her. But he couldn’t and the board of directors didn’t give a shit. No one did, okay? I was just a mudblood-,”

“ _ Alexia _ .”

“And the best friend of Harry Potter, public enemy number one. No one  _ cared _ .”

Alexia was startled by Lucius gently pulling her up, using his careful grip on her hand to tug her until she sat up and close enough to see the flecks of grey in his eyes. He looked into hers, seeing the true lack of care for what had happened with the woman.

“Alexia,  _ I _ care,” he promised her. “I care that she tortured you so carelessly. I care that she _ scarred  _ you. I care that you have been through so much that you truly do not mind that she’s done this to you. I care that you seem to believe that being muggleborn is plenty of excuse for the things she has done to you. I care, Alexia.”

Her lips parted in surprise and she stared into his eyes, feeling a little breathless. His grip on her hand had switched to touch her arm and she felt tingles where his fingers fell. She only realized how close they sat when his breath tickled her cheek. Apparently, Lucius did as well, because he dropped his hand from her arm. She tried not to let the disappointment show and sat back a little bit. 

“Why do you care so much? Wouldn’t it be easier, knowing what you have to do in the future, to just avoid me?”

Lucius nodded slowly. “It certainly would. But I suppose I would rather choose the more difficult path if it would mean I can continue to be with you.”

* * *

**September 3rd, 1973**

“What exactly are we doing?” James asked nervously. The cloak of invisibility was thrown over James, Alexia, Sirius, and Remus. Peter had gotten McGonagall’s attention by running into her class and crying hysterically. It bought them the time they needed, and they made their way up to Dumbledore’s empty office as quietly as possible.

“Dumbledore’s book,” she whispered back. “If we ever want this to be accurate, we need to connect it. It holds every current, past, and future students in it and their names light up when they’re in the castle. There’s a spot for guests at the end. We need to connect it to the map or we’ll never know who is where and when.”

“And you know how to do that?” Sirius questioned.

“Of course, I do,” she rolled her eyes, pushing the cloak off of her. She moved over to the large book sitting on the table by the pensieve and pulled out the map and her wand, setting the map on top of the book. “ _ Effingo in sempiternum _ .”

The boys looked over her shoulder quietly. 

“Nothing happened,” James complained. 

“I put that lock on it, remember?” she raised an eyebrow and tapped her wand to the map again. “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.”

The map began to fill out and the boys shifted excitedly behind her. 

_ Messrs Ash, Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, & Prongs are proud to present the Marauder’s Map _ .

“It’s beautiful,” Remus grinned. “You finished drawing it this summer?”

“With Jamie’s help,” she nodded before opening it. Her eyes moved to Dumbledore’s office and she grinned. “Look! It’s us!”

“Why are our nicknames on there with our names?” Sirius questioned, his eyes lighting up excitedly.

“I created that charm. Marauders get their names on there. We made it, after all.”

“That’s cool and all, and we can totally talk about how you so casually  _ created a charm _ later but McGonagall is coming,” Remus told her, pointing at the map where McGonagall and Peter were en route to Dumbledore’s office. Alexia squeaked a little and tapped it with her wand again.

“Mischief Managed,” she whispered. She didn’t bother to wait for it to clear again before shoving it in her robes. James threw the cloak over them again and the group of four barely managed to sneak out of the office before their head of house caught them. When they got back to the boys’ dorm, Sirius grabbed the map from Alexia and began casting charms on it. 

“What’re you doing, Pads?” James asked curiously as Alexia laid down on his bed, leaving him to sit. 

“Making it unbreakable, untearable,” the boy answered between charms. “That sorta stuff. Waterproof.”

“Ooh, good idea,” James grinned. “So it’s basically done, right?”

“We’re  _ not _ using that until Sirius has charmed it with protections,” Remus told him sharply. “And we need to put protective runes on it.”

“I’ve done that,” Alexia spoke up. “That’s why it only opens for the right words.”

“Hey, give me that, Padfoot,” Remus requested. After the boy placed a few more charms, he tossed it over. Remus caught it and pointed his wand at it, casting a spell that Alexia didn’t recognize. All the runes she’d used lit up the air and she blinked. 

“Holy shit, Alex,” Remus laughed in surprise. “This is a lot.”

“It has to last a long time,” she shrugged.

“She’s right,” James agreed. “We have four more years of school.”

Alexia watched as Remus frowned at the inactive rune meant to hide her Marauder name. It was set to change on October 31st, 1980 and chang back on May 2nd, 1998. 

“These are pretty advanced,” he said instead of questioning it. “Did you take runes before?”

Alexia nodded. “I took just about every class I possibly could in my first third year. My friend’s brother, Bill, wrote to me. Apparently, my friends wrote him because they thought he would have advice for me to keep me alive through the excessive studying.”

“Did he?”

Alexia let out a laugh. “No. He told me he basically lived off of coffee, Pepper-Up, and sleeping charms for four years. We became good friends, though, so it wasn’t a total loss. He’s the curse breaker that works for Gringott’s.”

“He sounds  _ cool _ .”

“Yeah, he is.”

* * *

**September 20th, 1973**

“You  _ failed _ your quiz?” Sirius gaped at his brother, who was scowling. “Walburga’s gonna lose it!”

“I know,” Regulus snapped, tearing the parchment out of Sirius’s hands. “So help me.”

“With  _ what _ ? I’m no good at history of magic, Reg. I sleep through it.”

“Not with  _ studying _ ,” the boy rolled his eyes. “I do have friends who care about that. No, help me change the grade in a way she won’t notice.”

“That would involve sneaking into Slughorn’s office,” Sirius grinned. “You want to do that?”

“I’d much rather sneak in than get a Howler in the middle of breakfast.”

“Fair point,” Sirius nodded. “Okay. I’ll grab the cloak and map and then we can go.”

Regulus stood outside Gryffindor common room impatiently, ignoring the glares of passing Gryffindors. He’d shed his school robes, but they recognized him regardless. It was a horrible five minutes later when Sirius came back out and tossed the cloak over the both of them, startling Regulus. “An invisibility cloak? Merlin, Sirius, where did you get this?”

“Alexia didn’t tell you? It’s theirs. It’s an old heirloom or something. We’ve all been using it for pranks.”

Regulus looked at his brother, his mouth open a little in surprise. “So much that the five of you have done and gotten away with makes so much more sense now.”

Sirius grinned and kept walking, leading them down to Slughorn’s office. The man was in his classroom, so the pair had to be  _ very _ careful sneaking past him. Once inside the office, they looked together for the letter addressed to Walburga. It was the first one in his pile of outgoing mail and Sirius plucked it up and opened it, careful not to tear anything. He read over the letter.

“Dear Walburga Black, your son, Regulus Black, has failed his test. Please sign your acknowledgment… blah blah blah. Hmm. I think we need to put a 24-hour glamour on it,” Sirius decided, pulling out his wand. When he was done, Regulus took it from him and read it over with an eye-roll. 

“Special award for his outstanding test scores?” 

“I mean, she still needs to sign it or you’ll get in trouble with Slughorn. Just take it, Reg.”

Regulus shook his head and handed it back over to Sirius, who closed it all up again and threw the cloak over them. When they got back to the classroom, he paused at the sight of fourth year Slytherins.

“Sirius,  _ no _ ,” Regulus hissed as the boy headed over to Lucius, pulling his younger brother with him. “We need to go!”

“Shh,” Sirius replied quietly, waving his wand at Lucius. Regulus grabbed it and the stinging hex hit someone else they knew, and both boys paused as Narcissa let out a yelp of pain. Sirius grabbed Regulus’s wrist and pulled him quickly out of the room, not stopping until they once more reached Gryffindor tower, this time Sirius’s dorm. “Regulus!” 

“It was your fault!” Regulus denied hotly. “You cast it!” 

“You hit Cissa with a stinging hex!”

“ _ You cast it _ !” Regulus shouted. “You have no reason to hex Lucius!” 

“You did  _ what _ ?”

Both boys turned from their place in the doorway to find Alexia standing by Sirius’s bed, looking for something. The fury in her eyes was terrifying and gave both brothers shivers. 

“Uh… nothing?” Sirius tried. Wandlessly, she waved at him and hit him with a furious bobblehead jinx. His head grew and began swaying from side to side. “Alexia!” 

“Arsehole,” she glared. “I need the map. Where is it?”

Regulus, who had been holding it, gave it over to her, wincing at her sparking hair. Sirius was less afraid now and more worried, much to the confusion of his brother. 

“Lexi, you need to calm down,” he told her carefully, putting his hands up. “I know you’re mad and I’m sorry, but you need to take a deep breath.”

“Don’t tell me to calm down, Black!” she growled. “Why the fuck would you hex him? I thought we talked about this!” 

“We did, okay,” he agreed, taking a moment to shrink his head. He walked over, holding his hands out in front of him. “I promise I won’t do it again, but you gotta calm down, Ash.”

Alexia glared at him and began to leave, and was stopped by Sirius waving his wand frantically at the door, closing and locking it. She turned on her heel, and he winced at the distance in her eyes. “Let me go.”

“Lexi,  _ please _ ,” he begged. “I don’t know how to handle this alone again. Remus is in the infirmary. I don’t know how to help you.”

She looked back at him and he ran over just before her eyes closed and she dropped to the ground, startling Regulus. Sirius grabbed her in time and settled her head in his lap. When her eyes opened again, he winced, recognizing the same look. 

“Hey, kitten,” he smiled. “How’re you feeling?”

“Not good,” she answered quietly. “What happened? I thought you can’t- Sirius, you can’t be here!”

“Hey, it’s okay,” he assured her. “I’m supposed to be here. Look, I’ve got the cloak.”

Alexia looked at the cloak that had fallen to the side when he caught her and nodded slowly with a frown. “Did Harry… did he find out? I was hoping he wouldn’t. He’s got so much going on with… everything.”

“Nope, Harry didn’t find anything out.”

“But you did. Why are you here?”

“To make sure you’re okay,” he said softly. 

“What’s happening?” Regulus asked, gaining both of their attention. Alexia blinked at him and looked back up at Sirius, tense.

“Who is that?”

“That’s my brother, kitten,” he offered her a small smile.

“You won’t tell me about him, though. How can he… be here?”

“Something happened,” Sirius told her quietly. “It’s a long story. Do you trust me?”

She smiled a little. “Since third year.”

“Then trust me when I say it’s okay. I just need you to calm down now, love,” he told her quietly, his hand coming up to stroke her cheek. “It’ll all be okay as soon as you calm down.”

“I’m… angry,” she frowned in confusion. “Why? I don’t…. Sirius, I don’t  _ remember _ . What happened to me?”

“You got a little hurt,” he sighed. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

She thought back with a frown. “Seeing you at Christmas. You gave me a book on the different kinds of bonds and suggested I read it.”

“Have you?”

Alexia blinked, her eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t remember. I assume so… I planned to. It sounded very interesting.”

“They are,” he confirmed. “You’ll love it. Maybe you’ll find it useful someday.”

“Sirius, what’s-,”

“Not now, Reg,” Sirius told him sharply. The boy quieted, watching Alexia wince at the tone. “I’m sorry, kitten. Does anything hurt?”

“My mind,” she told him quietly. “I tried to protect it from Umbridge but after the… it’s so hard.”

“What exactly did she do to you?”

Alexia looked down at her hand and removed the glamour, showing it to him. He tensed upon seeing it, fury rising in him. 

“She used a blood quill.”

She nodded a little. “She used one on Harry, too. I know he told me not to tell you, but he’s so  _ angry _ that he’s just letting her do whatever she wants. That’s why I haven’t told him about my detentions.”

“The ones where she… hurts you.”

Alexia nodded quietly. “That’s why you’re here, right? She tortured me too much?”

It took everything in Sirius to stop him from reacting to her words. “That’s right, kitten. Remus let your parents know.” 

“No,” she shook her head quickly. “Please, Sirius, they barely let me come back. They don’t know anything that’s going on. That’s why I spent Christmas with you, they can’t-,”

“Okay,” he nodded quickly. “Okay, that’s alright. I’ll tell Remus to leave it.”

“Thank you,” she breathed, relaxing. He played quietly with her hair as she very slowly relaxed and her eyes closed. Barely a moment later, they opened and she shot up, gripping her head. 

“ _ Fuck _ ,” she whimpered, biting down on her lip hard. “Shit. Oh my god.”

“That was really bad, kitten,” Sirius whispered. “Where were you?”

“Fifth year after Christmas,” she replied quietly. “Umbridge tortured me. I thought…”

“Yeah,” he nodded quietly. “Let’s get you to bed, okay? Sleep in here. We’ll go.”

“Wait,” she told him when he tried to help her up. She looked to Regulus nervously and then back to Sirius. “Tell him.”

“You sure, Ash?”

“Please,” she whispered, wincing in pain. “I need to… this  _ hurts _ , Sirius.”

“Okay, I’ll tell him,” he promised before helping her into James’s bed. He tucked her in and turned off the lights before dragging Regulus out of the room, all the way to an abandoned classroom where he spent five minutes warding it. 

“Sirius, what the hell was that? What’s wrong with her?”

“That spell Dolohov cast on her fucked up her mind,” he told him. “When she gets sudden bursts of super strong emotions, she does something called dissociate and then forgets where and when she is. Most of last year, she thought she was back where she was before she was placed with the Potters. It’s getting worse. She’s never told me about the time she just thought she was in.”

“But none of it makes sense,” Regulus frowned. “She was talking about you, saying she saw you at Christmas, but-,”

“I, Sirius Orion Black, do swear on my wand and magic that Alexia Potter is from the year 1998.”

Regulus stared in shock as the tip of Sirius’s wand lit up, confirming his vow. “She’s… from the future.”

Sirius nodded. “She went through war there. That’s why she’s so fucked up and that’s why Dolohov’s curse hurt her so much.”

“So what she was remembering was…”

“Apparently, me giving her a book during Christmas one year,” Sirius nodded. “She knows Remus and I in the future. A few others, too, but she’s closest to us, so when this happens, we try to be around. Remus is usually best at it, but her episodes are getting worse. They used to be just a few seconds, now it’s minutes. She needs a mind healer but she knows things that could get her and a lot of other people killed so she’s refusing.”

“Merlin,” Regulus sighed. “Why does her mind hurt?”

“It’s like… when these intense emotions start, they’re like a blanket over her memories. They make it impossible to remember where she is and what’s happening.”

“Merlin.”

“Yeah,” Sirius agreed. “It’s terrifying.”

“But how did she… get here?”

“Someone sent her,” Sirius shrugged. “I don’t know that much. She isn’t exactly open to answering questions. I only found out because her real birthdate was in the family tree books. You’ll have to ask her to know for sure but not many people know. Me, you, Remus, Malfoy, her parents, and Dumbledore, I think.”

“Not James?”

“Nope. He just thinks she used to be nineteen and went through a war.”

Regulus was quiet for a beat before he scowled. “You hexed Cissa!”

“You made me!”

* * *

**October 4th, 1973**

Alexia stood in the stands watching Slytherin Quidditch tryouts with Severus. She’d agreed to go for Marlene, Regulus, and Lucius. All three of them were trying out that year, and she was already certain Marlene and Lucius would make it on the team. She was even confident about Regulus. 

They were currently trying out for seeker, the role Regulus wanted. He was up in the air with three others who were meant to distract him when the snitch was released. Regulus was the only one interested in the seeker position, so it was more of a formality. Still, he had a talent that rivalled that of Harry, and Alexia grinned as she watched him skillfully evade the captain and lunge toward the snitch, which he caught easily. 

“He’s got it,” Severus told her, sitting to her side with her potions book in his hand. 

“What exactly are you doing again?” she questioned after grinning at the boy. Her friend was currently scrawling all over her book, correcting random things. “Don’t draw on my book!” 

“I’m just correcting it,” he rolled his eyes at her, tilting it to show her. “I know you have been frustrated and since we aren’t partners this year-,”

“Stupid fucking Slughorn-,”

“I figured this would help.”

“Why would he assign us a book that is wrong?” she asked, irritated, as she leaned over to watch him working. The sight reminded her of the potions book Harry had used through sixth year and she shivered.

“Cold, Potter?”

Alexia and Severus both looked up at Dolohov, who was smirking at her on his broom. 

“I’m fine, Dolohov. Please leave me alone.”

Dolohov stared at her for a long moment before flying off, and Alexia let out a sharp breath, tense even once she was sure she was safe. 

“Your parents cannot do anything?” Severus asked her. She shook her head. 

“It’s complicated,” she muttered. As much as she hated it, she knew he had to be there in the future to do the things he had. If he wasn’t, she wouldn’t know to be wary of him when she came back. “I don’t want them to get into a political mess. Lucius could vouch for me but since the Malfoys are meant to hate the Potters, he wouldn’t be allowed to. It’ll be fine. I just need to stay with people.”

Severus looked at her like he knew she was lying but said nothing, instead turning back to her potions book to continue writing in it. 

* * *

The table was full of an even mix of Slytherins and Gryffindors ranging from second year to fourth year. It was a sight that most had gotten used to seeing. Truthfully, there was always a few friends between houses and it wasn’t much of a shock to see them studying together, the only reason that they had for so long already. 

The issue with their table was the furious redhead screaming at the wide-eyed black haired girl across from her. 

“ _ Your bloody prank war is out of hand, Alexia _ !”

Alexia threw her hands up. “I didn’t do anything!” 

“Your brother did! And  _ your _ brother,” Lily said, pointing at Regulus, who looked at Alexia in annoyance. 

“Tell her to keep me out of this,” he requested. “I have a test Monday, Potter.”

“Lils, tell me what happened before Madame Pince comes back and kicks us all out,” Alexia requested with a worried frown, her stress rising. She paused when Remus grabbed her hand for comfort. “Why aren’t you yelling at Remus? He’s involved, too!” 

“ _ Remus _ isn’t related to the big-headed prat that spelled my diary into Howlers!” 

Alexia’s mouth dropped open. “Oh my god.”

“That is  _ definitely _ against the rules,” Remus agreed, shocked. “Why the hell would they do that?”

“They can’t seem to get it through their thick skulls that Alexia’s bed is the  _ second _ bed,” Lily glared at no one in particular.

“Mm,” Alexia nodded, standing. Lucius shared a look with Severus, for the first time in his life feeling concerned for James Potter. “Right. If you’d like to come with me, Lily.”

“Where are we going?” the girl asked, standing to follow Alexia out of the library. Remus grimaced and did the same, likely worried for James and Sirius’ safety. 

“Gryffindor common room,” Alexia answered, picking up her pace. Her friends followed her, not caring that they left their things with the Slytherins, and shared a look before they entered the common room with her. 

James, Peter, and Sirius were sitting on the floor in front of the fire together, leaning over a book and whispering. “ _ James Charlus Potter _ !”

“Uh, Lex?” James stood with a frown. Her hair was sparking madly and Sirius looked to Remus in worry, but he just shook his head, assuring the other boy that she was okay. “What’s wrong?”

“ _ You turned Lily’s diary into a fucking Howler _ !” 

“That was supposed to be yours!” Peter exclaimed, disappointed. Alexia’s eyes flashed furiously. 

“New rule,” she yelled. She was aware everyone in the room was staring at them. “Lily is  _ off limits _ . If any of us prank her, purposely or accidentally, we lose a point.”

“But I thought it was your bed!” James argued. 

“What the hell do you think I write in my diary?” she snapped at him. “Certainly nothing that should be shared publicly. I don’t give a fuck if you want to tell everyone who I have a crush on or that I had an embarrassing encounter with a teacher or whatever you expected to find in there, James, but you’d better not try doing it through my diary because you  _ know _ what’s in there. Lily is off limits. Any future pranks on her will be punished just as cruelly.”

“We’ve got it, Lex,” Sirius put his hands up. “I’m sorry. We never meant to prank her.”

“Good,” she nodded. She reached for her wand and scowled when she realized she left it in the library. She waved her hand at the three boys instead and turned on her heel, not bothering to watch their heads grow significantly in size, nor watch as they were covered in hot, sticky green goo. 

“Merlin,” Lily exclaimed as the pair rushed back to the library, Remus having stayed to help their friends. “That was wandless magic, Alex.”

Alexia didn’t bother to reply and instead plucked her wand off the table and fell back into her seat next to Lucius. Her hair was still sparking and she sucked in a breath, willing herself to calm down. 

“What did she do to them?” Regulus asked Lily, who smiled a little. 

“She told them I’m off limits and then gave them bobbleheads and… I’m actually not sure what that last one was, Alex.”

She looked up, calmer now. “Yeah, that’ll hold them in place and make them uncomfortable until they realize that what they did was wrong. It’s called  _ Punire _ .”

“Alexia, that’s mind magic,” Regulus told her sharply. She shrugged. 

“I would never cast it on them full strength. It won’t torture them, just make them vaguely uncomfortable. Besides, Sirius knows what it is so he’ll know how to get out of it.”

“You’re a little scary,” Lily told her with a startled laugh. 

“They’re thoughtless,” she muttered. “They were aiming for my diary - assuming I keep one, which I don’t because that would be extremely reckless - and it could’ve been disastrous. The only thoughts I’d need to put on paper are the ones I can’t share with anyone for my own safety. If it had come to me in the Great Hall…” she trailed off and sucked in a breath. “It wasn’t their intention, but it could have put me in danger again and I’d have to leave.”

Regulus thought back to when she explained what Dolohov had done to her and frowned deeply. She’d made it clear she’d experienced hell and they  _ knew _ that and they still wanted to expose her deepest thoughts for a laugh. 

“Well, the good thing is that they will only be released when they understand what they did wrong,” Lucius reminded her gently, and she smiled at him. “With any luck, they will be smart enough not to attempt something of the sort again.”

“I’m sure they won’t,” she agreed. “Truthfully, it was probably Pete’s idea.”

“Alexia, may I speak with you privately for a moment?” 

Alexia nodded and got to her feet to follow him quietly to a completely empty area where he stopped to smile at her. “Is something wrong?”

“No, of course not,” he assured her easily. “I only hoped that you would still want to go to Hogsmeade with me. The first trip is this weekend.”

Alexia grinned, the remaining irritation disappearing. “I’d love to, Lucius.”

He dipped his head to hide his smile. “I will meet you outside the Great Hall Saturday morning at ten.”

“I’m looking forward to it.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My executive dysfunction says this is the only thing I am able to do, is post chapters right now. Haven't bothered to actually ask my therapist how to *deal* with executive dysfunction so I'm just gonna be its bitch right now. Enjoy!


	16. Ready To Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How are we already at her date with Lucius? This is fully me not even realizing I'm posting chapters from their third year. Wow. I really should pay more attention.

**Chapter Sixteen**

_ You’ve got these little things _

_ That you’ve been running from _

_ You either love them or guess you don’t. _

**October 5th, 1973**

“We’re going to get in trouble!” 

“No, we aren’t,” Alexia denied, stuffing the cloak in her bag as she pulled Lily and Marlene into the shop. “I’m sorry, okay? I totally forgot to pack anything for a date.”

They were greeted and quickly denied help, moving over to a rack of dresses together. Marlene looked at Alexia with a frown. “Green would look good on you.”

“James would lose his shit,” Alexia grinned. “I agree.”

“Ooh, this would look good,” the girl exclaimed, holding out a knee length, ruffled dress. The sleeves had dramatic ruffles as well and Alexia gasped and grabbed it. 

“It’s beautiful,” Alexia gasped, grabbing it. While she went to try it on, Lily looked at the dresses, something Marlene definitely did not miss. 

“What’re you looking for, Lils?”

Lily jumped and almost dropped the purple dress in her hands. Malrene grabbed it and handed it back. “I don’t know. What if I want to go on a date?”

“Yeah?” Marlene raised an eyebrow. “With who? Because I definitely have dibs on Sirius.”

“ _ No _ ,” Lily snapped, surprising her friend. “I’m sorry. It’s just… you can’t.”

“Why? You like him?” Marlene blinked. 

“No,” the redhead shook her head with a frown. “No, but please. Trust me. You can’t.”

“What are you two whispering about?” Alexia questioned when she walked out, dress on her arm. “And why do you look  _ guilty _ , Lily? What did you do?”

“Nothing,” Lily told her in a rush before Marlene could answer. Alexia frowned, looking to Marlene. 

“Marls?”

“I told her I think Sirius is fit and she freaked out.”

Alexia rolled her eyes and let out a short laugh. “Lily, if she thinks he’s fit, she should ask him out.”

“Really?”

“Why, do you have a crush on him, Lexi?” Marlene wondered. Alexia shook her head and moved over to the shoes. 

“Nope. I’m going out with Lucius and I had a crush on him almost all of last year,” she reminded her friends. Lily relaxed behind Marlene. “But you should ask Sirius out. I know him better than almost anyone else and I don’t think he’ll make a move first, not yet.”

“Does he like me?” 

Alexia made a face. “He doesn’t like telling me those things but Jamie thinks he does.”

“Okay,” Marlene nodded firmly. “I’ll ask him out when we get back… I’d better get a dress or something, then.”

Lily waited until their friend moved off before she began whispering to Alexia. “You’re really okay with that, Lexi?”

Alexia shrugged and picked up a pair of golden ballet flats. “Yeah. Seriously Lils, everything is platonic right now. I like Lucius a lot. He can be with Marlene if he wants to.”

“Okay…”

“Stop worrying.”

“Okay.”

* * *

**October 6th, 1973**

Lucius was where he said he’d be and when he said he’d be. Alexia, however, was late.

“James Charlus!” she screamed, pulling her wand on him. “Let go of me right now!” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” the boy asked, hurt and angry. “He’s a snake! And older than you!” 

“Because I knew you’d freak out!” she snapped back, taking a few steps backward to where Lily held the portrait open for her in preparation for her escape. “If you come after me- scratch that, James, if I see you at all in Hogsmeade, I’ll hex you frozen for three days.”

James stared at her with wide eyes as she turned on her heel and ran from the common room, leaving her friend to distract her brother before he could come after her and yell. She huffed all the way down to the Great Hall and though she worked on calming down, her cheeks were still flushed and her hair was still sparking by the time she reached Lucius, who only raised an eyebrow at her curiously. 

“James,” was her short answer. He nodded once and reached over to take her hand. She let him, tension in her shoulders releasing at the touch. “I’m sorry for being late. I was ready on time but an uninformed Marlene told James where I was going and he decided to scream in the middle of the common room.”

“Your brother is rather possessive,” Lucius commented quietly as they made their way from the castle. She hummed in response. It was certainly true, and she definitely understood why he was that way, but she didn’t feel like talking about her brother. She was nervous enough for her date. The last date she’d gone on was with Krum a short time after the second task, and before Krum, there had been no one. 

“You don’t talk about yourself,” she told him as they entered Hogsmeade together. He steered them toward Scrivenshaft’s Quill Shop, making her smile. She’d mentioned before the end of the year before that she was tired of her quills breaking and wanted to get something better quality but that she just hadn’t found the time. Apparently, he’d made the time for her. “Why is that?”

“Truthfully, Alexia, I find myself far less interesting than I find you,” he told her. She couldn’t help the smile that slipped onto her lips. “But if you would like to know more about me, just ask.”

“Okay,” she nodded slowly. “What are your views on muggleborns?”

Lucius let out a small laugh. “You should know this. If I had an issue with them, I would not have continued to be your friend when I learned the truth, regardless of magical adoption. Anyone that has an issue with muggleborns does not truly believe they have mud in their veins. They hate them for not coming from the world that they do. Which has its points, certainly - wait - but only because parts of our magic is so ingrained in our society and families. Muggleborn people don’t know those things. It would do much better to keep the new blood coming in and simply make an effort to teach them the things they do not know. There used to be a program like that where families would sponsor a number of new blood every few years and teach them everything they need to know.”

“That’s incredible,” Alexia breathed. “Why did it ever stop? That would solve so many problems! I was so uninformed when I came to Hogwarts. I thought that elves were enslaved and needed to be liberated.”

Lucius’s lips twitched but he very carefully did not laugh. “It stopped because of a divorce, actually, in a now widely unknown family called the Grahams. They were rather powerful, mostly because of their money. John Graham married a muggleborn witch, Seraphine Graham. He cheated on her a few months into the marriage and she divorced him and took all of his money. In return, he spread rumors that her blood was filled with mud and that she was stealing magic from them. It spread and that is around when we started with the… inbreeding.”

Alexia looked at him with a bright smile. “I never knew that.” 

Lucius smiled back and glanced down at the quills in front of them, picking up three silver ones for her. She followed him to check out and bit her lip to stop herself from trying to pay. She knew he was an old fashioned gentleman and that it was important to him, so she took his arm and followed him out quietly into Honeyduke’s, laughing when he immediately picked up a few sugar quills for her. 

“My parents were dentists,” she told him. “They never let me have many sweets. I just didn’t have time for them after a while.”

“So you are saying you have missed nearly everything here?”

“...yes.”

The grin on his face made her laugh and she followed him around, arguing when he got two of each sweet and treat. When he’d filled nearly three baskets and got to the checkout, she threw her head back in laughter. 

“This is excessive, Lucius,” she told him. His bright smile rid her of every true denial she had lined up and she just let her hand fall into his and grabbed, walking back out. “How will I possibly eat all of this?”

“With my help, of course.” 

“Oh, how silly of me,” she shook her head with a laugh, following him into the Three Broomsticks. She took her seat and waited while he got them drinks, settling the bags next to her on the booth. 

“Ash.”

Alexia looked up in surprise to find Sirius blinking at her with two drinks in his hand. “Hey, Padfoot. Who are you here with?”

“Marlene,” he answered her awkwardly. “You’re alone?”

“Jamie didn’t tell you?” she glanced at the counter where Lucius was waiting for their drinks. Sirius followed her gaze and nodded a little. 

“I can’t believe you’d tell Prongs,” he said after a moment of awkward silence. She rolled her eyes in annoyance. 

“No, I didn’t. Marlene did, unaware that he’s a psychotic arsehole,” she explained. She looked back to Lucius as he picked up their drinks. “I’ll talk to you later, okay, Pads?”

“Sure, Ash,” he agreed, turning to go back to his date. She relaxed once he left and smiled at Lucius while he walked over. 

“I hope he didn’t give you trouble,” he told her gently, sitting across from her. She shook her head softly. 

“He actually understands that we’re our own people and that I can make my own decisions,” she explained, taking a sip. “Plus, he’s on a date with Marlene.”

“I enjoy spending time with you, Alexia.”

Alexia smiled brightly at him. “I do, too. I’ve really enjoyed this.”

“Then perhaps we can have another date.”

“I would love that.”

“Wonderful. Tomorrow.”

Alexia coughed a little and put down her butterbeer. “Tomorrow?”

“I thought we could work on this candy,” he told her. She nodded a little, laughing. 

“It’s not as if I don’t see you almost every day already,” she pointed out. 

“Tomorrow, then.”

“Yeah. Tomorrow.”

* * *

**October 7th, 1973**

Alexia stepped into the Room of Requirement with Lucius behind her and froze at the sight of James and Sirius. Dread swept through her and she sucked in a breath, preparing herself for the argument ahead. 

“Lex?” James looked up in surprise. He paused upon seeing who she was with. “Oh. I thought you came to finally talk to me.”

“We’ll just go somewhere else,” she muttered, turning around to gently push Lucius out of the room.

“Ash, wait,” her brother called. She hesitated and looked over her shoulder. “Look, Sirius explained it, okay? I know you can’t end up with him.”

Alexia narrowed her eyes, tensing. “Sirius, you had better hope he says something that isn’t one of the two things I’m thinking or I’ll fucking hex you to Alaska.”

“No, it’s okay,” James assured her. “You two have a soul bond. I get it. I’m not happy, but I get it, so if you want to-,”

“James Charlus,” Alexia snapped, her hair sparking like mad. “It is absolutely no business of yours who I end up with. If I want to, I could ignore that fucking bond and marry Lucius and you can’t do a thing about it. My dating life is not something you should concern yourself with, for your own safety more than anything else.”

“But-,”

“And  _ Sirius _ ,” Alexia glared darkly. “I  _ told _ you I want to keep that quiet. It’s bad enough that our parents know. I saw you snogging Marlene so don’t pretend you did me any favors telling James. He’s an overprotective asshole but definitely no threat to any part of my life.” She looked between them, fury in her eyes. “I don’t want to see or talk to either of you for a while. Stay away from me.”

The boys watched as she turned and walked away, her sparking hair waving as she walked quickly. Lucius followed her and she only slowed down when he grabbed her hand and pulled her gently to get her to stop. He was startled by the angry tears in her eyes. 

“Alexia,” he said quietly. “It’s okay. Take a deep breath.”

She wanted to yell about her brother and friend but she couldn’t bring herself to yell at him. He was being wonderful and she certainly didn’t think she deserved it. “I’m sorry.”

He rubbed her arm with a smile. “It is nothing I did not already know. I know we won’t end up together, Alexia. It only makes sense that you would end up with someone you trust so much.”

“I don’t have feelings for him,” she scowled. “I’ve told him as much. I don’t want to be with him, not now. I want to be with  _ you _ and yet they both think they have the right to interfere. I can’t believe them!” 

Lucius took a step forward, cutting off her rant. His hand came up to hold the back of her head and her mouth opened in surprise. He leaned forward slowly, giving her time to stop him, and pressed his lips softly to hers. She felt herself gasp at the touch and kissed him back, relaxing into the gentle touch. When they parted, she let out a small, quiet laugh. 

“Feel free to do that any time I get mad like that,” she suggested. “Or… any other time.”

He took her up on that offer and pressed his lips to hers again. She smiled into it and put the argument she’d just had out of her mind, determined to enjoy her time with Lucius.

* * *

**November 1st, 1973**

“ _ How _ did you get that?” Lily asked in horror as the group of mixed hose students took their places in the Room of Requirement. It was Marlene’s birthday and she’d requested, from her friends in every House, a big party. The only problem was finding a place to hold it, so Alexia had managed to create a room that seemed to be in the dungeons but was actually just connected to the Room of Requirement via tunnel the same way that the DA had connected to the Hog’s Head at the end of the war. 

Sirius grinned at the girl and poured the vials into each bottle. “The Veritaserum or the firewhiskey?”

“Both, I guess.”

“I got the firewhiskey because I’m magical and can do things like that,” he informed her as he swished the bottles around to mix the potion in. “Ash got the Veritaserum.”

“Lexi?”

Alexia grinned and leaned against Lucius. “If I told you that, I wouldn’t be able to get it again, would I?”

“James?” Lily raised an eyebrow. The boy, who clearly had a crush on her, blushed and shot his sister an apologetic smile. 

“She took them from Slughorn’s stores and left him five galleons for each potion.”

“Prongs!” 

“Alexia!” Lily exclaimed with a horrified glare. 

“May I point out, please, that she did not get caught?” Lucius suggested while his girlfriend rolled her eyes. 

“And her luck will run out,” Severus added. 

“Man, you guys are such bummers,” Dorcas Meadows laughed, helping Sirius pour a ridiculous number of shots. “Are we gonna play?”

“Oaths first!” James exclaimed. “C’mon, we already set rules and made oaths to follow them.”

“Fine,” Remus sighed when James looked at him with puppy eyes. He raised his wand. “I, Remus Lupin, do swear to complete any dares that do not break the rules we set tonight.”

It took five minutes before everyone finished their oaths and Dorcas nodded impatiently. “Okay, I ask again. Are we gonna play or not?”

“I am,” Marlene grinned, picking up a shot. “Someone ask me something.”

After she tipped it back, Mary McDonald spoke up. “How far have you and Sirius gone?”

“Eh, nothing under clothes,” Marlene waved the question off and put the glass down, letting Sirius refill it. “That was lame. I would’ve answered that regardless of the potion.”

“Keep going,” Alice grinned. 

“‘Kay, fine,” Marlene sighed, looking around the room. Her eyes settled on Regulus and he let out a sigh. “Regulus, truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

“I dare you to help Lexi with her next prank.”

Alexia frowned at her friend. “I told you that in confidence.”

“And I told you Regulus would be perfect to help you.”

“We had this conversation, Marls,” she rolled her eyes. “I don’t  _ need _ help, I just need to find the right vendor.”

“And he’s got both connections and money.”

“I’d like to make it clear that if whatever you’re planning to do is illegal, I’m out,” Regulus told Alexia. She shrugged. 

“Nothing illegal will be done, though you might get detention,” she promised. He nodded curtly and looked around. 

“Sirius, truth or dare?”

“Truth,” the boy said, tipping back a shot. 

“Why do you call Alexia Ash?”

“Because she’s an animagus with an ashy tail,” Sirius blurted out while Alexia was in the process of trying to silence him. The room froze and she scowled. 

“Well, shit, let’s hope no one asks about my other secrets,” she huffed, leaning back against Lucius, who was grinning. 

“An animagus?”

“Shut up.”

“With a tail.”

“ _ Shut up _ .”

“Is no one planning to ask what she  _ is _ ?” Dorcas questioned. 

“The first person to ask will be hexed,” Alexia informed them. “And anyone that answers will also be hexed,” she pinned Lily and Severus with glares, already aware that none of the Marauders would be stupid enough to give up that information. 

“Okay!” Sirius coughed and looked at Lily. “Truth or dare?”

“Mm, dare.”

“Oh, sweet! Okay, I dare you to try out for Quidditch next year.”

Lily stared at him in horror. “I can’t! I’m afraid of heights and I’m shit on a broom and-,”

“It’s okay,” James assured her. “Lex was afraid of heights and brooms, too. I helped her and I can help you.”

Lily looked to Alexia and she nodded a little. “It’s true. He spent so long nagging me to play with him before I finally admitted that I was scared. Annoyed me to no end, but I’m not scared anymore and I’m actually okay on a broom now.”

“Okay…” she bit her lip and looked at her friends. “Frank, truth or dare?”

“Um, dare?”

“I dare you to kiss Alice,” she said with a bright grin. Alice shot her a murderous glare as Frank moved over and placed a kiss to the girl’s lips. When they parted, both were blushing. 

“Um, Peter, truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

“I dare you to kiss Alexia.”

James, Sirius, Alexia, and Lucius all shot the boy a glare. Marlene let out a laugh. 

“ _ That’s  _ a good dare!” 

“But- but she’s James’s sister! She’s just Ash! She’s dating  _ him _ .”

“Sorry, Pete,” Dorcas grinned. “You gotta do it.”

When Marlene shoved Pete forward he winced and crawled over to where Alexia was practically sat in Lucius’s lap. He had his arm around her hip and it was particularly awkward to get in their shared space, but he moved forward and pressed a very light kiss to the side of her mouth. Once he did, he jerked backward until he found his seat again. 

Alexia felt herself begin to fade a little, her brain turning fuzzy and tired. She only felt Lucius’s grip on her and the bonds in her that led to James and then Sirius. Eventually, even those faded and she passed out the way she always did. 

Lucius reacted quickly and got to his feet, Alexia in his arms. He ignored the concerned questions and left them to James, Sirius, and Remus and ran through a door that had suddenly appeared, thanks to the Room of Requirement. He didn’t recognize where they were but set her down on the grating, letting her head sit in his lap. 

Alexia hissed in pain and let her hand touch it. Nothing was wrong that she could feel. There was no blood or anything, but she could tell she was lying on someone and prepared herself for who that was. When she opened her eyes, they were blurry, but she blinked a little and jerked away from him. “Malfoy?”

“I’m not going to hurt you.”

“Like you weren’t going to hurt me when you tried to hex me?” she scoffed. The movement  _ hurt _ and she groaned, grabbing her head with both hands and leaning over. “Did you do this to me?”

“No,” he answered quietly. His tone confused her, like he was hurt, and she forced her eyes back open to look him over. He didn’t  _ seem _ hurt but she knew better than anyone that some injuries weren’t visible. 

“Are you… hurt?”

“No,” he replied. She met his eyes and was surprised and  _ very _ confused by the flutter in her heart when she did. There was something different about him, too. He seemed just a little older but more than that, his face was longer instead of wider and his eyes were lighter, bluer than the dark grey. 

“I don’t… who are you?” 

“You are safe,” he told her quietly. “You’re injured. I am not going to hurt you. I promise. I swear on my magic that I have no intention of hurting you now.”

She blinked at the confirmation of his promise and nodded a little. “But who are you?”

“Lucius Malfoy.”

Alexia felt the air sucked out of her. She’d been right - it  _ was _ a Malfoy, just not the one she thought. “But we met years ago. You insulted my parents. You’re so… young.”

“That is because you were sent back in time,” he explained calmly. She wondered for a moment at how practiced his words were, as if he’d said them before. “It is 1973. What year do you think it is?”

“1994,” she answered in a whisper. “Oh my god…” 

Lucius looked concerned. “I need you to calm down, Hermione. You are alright. You will remember everything as soon as you calm down. There is a curse that presses on your mind, your memories, and makes you forget things when you are upset. Tell me what you are feeling.”

She thought for a moment, unsure of how to put a feeling like that into words. She’d tried when speaking to Ginny and it had been an impossible task, though the crying hadn’t helped her. “I feel… disgusting. Terrified.”

Lucius nodded slowly, obviously a little confused. “Okay. Grab your wand.”

She blinked and looked around for her wand, finding it in his extended hand. She took it from him gratefully though paused upon realizing it wasn’t  _ her _ wand. “It’s different.”

“You did not have yours when you were sent back. But it is a wand and it will respond to you and keep you safe, so hold it tight.”

She did as he said and breathed out slowly. When her eyes closed, she winced, seeing the same thing she saw every other time she closed her eyes. “Did it happen again?” she asked in a whisper. She wasn’t sure why Lucius Malfoy would know but she also was fairly certain it was a dream, so he probably should, right?

“Did what happen again?”

“The- the attack,” she whispered. “Crabbe and Goyle. Last year?”

“No,” he whispered to her. She couldn’t bring herself to open her eyes and look at him, shame filling her as it did every time she thought of it. “No, you are safe. You are with friends and family and you are safe. None of us will hurt you.”

“Not even you?”

“Especially not me.”

Alexia bit her lip and squeezed her wand tight within her hand. “I don’t want it to happen again. I see it every time I close my eyes. I see it now. I want it to stop. I want them to stop.”

“It will never happen again,” he promised her quietly. “There will be things I cannot do to help you in the coming years, things you have already experienced. But while you are here with me, I promise it will never happen again. Do you believe me?”

Alexia forced her eyes open. “You’re a Slytherin. You know better than to make promises you can’t keep.”

“I will keep this promise.”

“Okay…” she nodded quietly. “Will you… tell me about my life here?”

Lucius obliged easily, more than willing to change subject. “You were placed with the Potters and you’re James Potter’s twin sister, Alexia. You’re not very pleased with him right now.”

“Why?”

“Because he told Lily that you took a potion from Slughorn,” he smiled softly. “You paid for it and didn’t get caught.”

“Why would I take it?” she asked, horrified. 

“Because it is your friend Marlene’s birthday party and Sirius wanted to play Veritaserum or dare. I think Marlene is enjoying it.”

“Why are you here? Aren’t you supposed to hate… everyone you just mentioned?”

Lucius shook his head with a small smile. “Something has greatly distracted me from the things I should be focusing on, like hating all of you.”

“What’s that?”

“You.”

She blinked in surprise at him. “I-  _ me _ ?”

He laughed softly. “I despise every single thing you have told me about my future self. He is, apparently, a very different person than who I am now.”

“Oh,” she whispered. He watched as she relaxed and when her shoulders drooped, he reached over to catch her before she could pass out again. He laid her down in his lap and stroked her hair until she woke again. She didn’t bother opening her eyes and just let out a whimper of pain. 

“We can stay here as long as you need, Alexia.”

Alexia didn’t reply and he was startled to find her breathing not as even as it had been only moments before. She was once more tense and was squeezing her eyes shut as tightly as she could. Another whimper escaped her lips and he almost wondered if the episode hadn’t ended, but she gripped his hand tightly within her own, the only clue that she was back to herself. 

“Alexia,” he whispered softly, pulling his fingers gently through her hair to calm her. “You are okay. You’re safe with me.”

“I know,” she managed to whisper, her breath catching sharply. “I’m sorry, I know.”

“Don’t apologize,” he told her quietly. “I am only worried.”

“I… put that memory under… such strong shields,” she told him, gasping for breaths. “It was so hard after Jamie… I was so scared it would come loose and it  _ didn’t _ but now?  _ Why _ ? It hurts…”

“I would… guess that it was shaken loose but not freed,” he told her slowly. “What is it? You may need a mind healer to place it correctly.”

“ _ No _ ,” she hissed. “Jamie saw it and I can’t… I can’t handle anyone else seeing me… like that.”

“Alexia, take a slow, deep breath,” he guided her. She did as he said, attempting to slow the frantic breathing. “Do you want to tell me about it?”

She took a moment to respond, waiting until she could breathe somewhat normally. “Third year… I had sort of punched your son,” she let out a short, manic laugh. “He really deserved it, though. But, uh, his friends didn’t agree. After everything with Sirius, when we went back to classes and everything… they managed to corner me after class one day and they-,” she cut off, unable to say it. “I knew the right spells to protect myself from… anything else and I told my friend Ginny, who got the other spells and potions I needed from her mum. I’ve avoided them ever since, but it’s gotten really hard a couple of times.”

“And Pettigrew kissing you-,”

She nodded a little. “I felt the same disgusted feeling that I did then and it just… I wasn’t able to stop it. It happened so fast.”

“Are you okay now?”

“Just… my head,” she told him softly. He nodded and helped her to her feet. He said nothing as he helped her out the door. The noise stopped, which was worse than the shouting and laughing from before. 

“I’m fine,” she waved them off. “I have an issue with my brain. Sometimes I pass out. I just have a headache. You guys keep playing, okay?”

“Go get some sleep,” Dorcas suggested with a kind smile. James and Remus had disappeared, and Sirius watched her anxiously as Lucius led her from the room. 

When they reached Gryffindor tower, Alexia spoke the password and didn’t question it as he helped her in. At his questioning glance, she nodded to the left. 

“I’m going to sleep in Jamie’s bed tonight,” she explained when she refused to let go of him yet. “When I have nightmares… I just want him to be there.”

Lucius nodded quietly and helped her up the stairs. When they got there, he spotted James and Remus staring down at the parchment in their hands. 

“They  _ can’t  _ be here,” James denied. “It must be wrong.”

“That map is never wrong,” Alexia told him sternly, though her voice shook. “I’m gonna sleep here tonight, Jamie.”

“Of course, Lex,” he nodded and ran over to take her from Lucius’s arms. He settled her in bed and even tucked her in. Remus handed her a potion which she drank down quickly and thankfully. Before Lucius could leave, James caught his arm. “Thank you, really.”

Lucius nodded once and swiftly left, trusting her brother to take care of her. 

* * *

**November 9th, 1973**

“ _ What _ are they doing?” Regulus questioned. “This is the third time this week.”

“No clue,” Severus replied, staring down the flights of stairs at the five Marauders pushing a muggle toy down the steps repeatedly. 

“McGonagall is going to have a kitten if Lexi gets another detention,” Lily sighed as they walked down the steps together. “She told me Lady Potter gave her a talk about it.”

“Oh?” Regulus raised an eyebrow. “Does she intend to listen?”

“Of course not,” Alexia called up at the same time that Lily said it. 

“How on earth can you hear us?” Severus stared at her in shock. She grinned. 

“Just a rather helpful tool that a friend invented,” she explained. “It amplifies the sound just to us so that we know if anyone is coming. And I don’t appreciate how little faith you have in me, Lils. McGonagall loves me, she’s just exasperated.”

“Just like the rest of us, then,” Lily replied with an eye roll as they reached the pranking group. 

“Ahh!” Sirius shouted, pointing at the staircase two floors down. “It finally moved!”

“That’s  _ four hours _ ,” Peter told them, marking it down. “That’ll be tough to work around.”

“We can do it,” Remus promised. “All of us take arithmancy.”

“And three of us pay attention,” Sirius added with a grin. 

“What exactly are you five doing?” Regulus asked hesitantly. 

“Nothing,” the five of them replied together. 

“James and Alexia I get,” Lily frowned. “They’re  _ twins _ . All five of them is just weird.”

* * *

Alexia lay on a large blanket in front of the Black Lake with a large layer of warming charms and her boyfriend to keep her warm. She smiled softly with her eyes closed as he quizzed her, not on her third year classes but on the things she’d been dying to read about while on the run. They were the things she expected she’d need to know when she got back, so she’d begun reading about them. 

“What year did the tax on ‘borrowing magic’ end?”

“1876,” Alexia answered confidently. Lucius set the card down and picked up the next one. It was less of a flash card game and more of the questions she’d written down to figure out later finally being answered… with a few flash cards here and there. 

“Who is best fit to be the next minister of magic?”

Alexia hesitated. She knew Kingsley had taken over the Order after Dumbledore and then Moody had died but she didn’t think he would reach his full potential handling whiny politicians. “Amelia Bones. She faked her death - perhaps I shouldn’t have told you that - and is incredible in stressful situations. She has an overwhelming sense of right and wrong and will always do what she believes is right.”

“Okay,” he nodded. The woman had graduated four years earlier and was already beginning her career as an auror. He could certainly see her being the strong woman his girlfriend spoke of. “Where do you belong?”

Alexia froze and her mind stopped. 

“Lexi?”

“Sorry,” she breathed. “Hard question.”

“We can skip it if you’d like.”

“No, I have to answer it sometime,” she bit her lip and opened her eyes to look at his concerned face. “Lawmaking, obviously. But from within the ministry or just from a family seat?”

“It could be useful to use a family seat,” he told her. “You could pursue a career elsewhere and still do what you want to do.”

“But will I be able to do enough?”

“Alexia, you can do anything you put your mind to,” he told her honestly. “If you want to take a family seat and still fix things from within, you can do it. I encourage you to do it.”

“Okay. Okay, as long as Sirius doesn’t mind me taking the seat - which I doubt he will since he was such an ass about becoming Lord Black in the future still - I’ll also join the ministry. But where?”

“It is obvious, isn’t it? Creatures and Beings.”

Alexia nodded a little, surprised. “Of course it is. I can’t imagine going anywhere else.”

Lucius smiled at her and picked up the next card before frowning at it. “What to do about Draco.”

Alexia paused. “I thought I removed that one. You can move on.”

“Explain it,” he requested. She nodded a little. She trusted him to handle any information she gave him, which was why she answered every question he had, not to mention the fact that he didn’t ask her much. 

“Draco was an ass to me but around fifth year, he didn’t… put as much energy into it. I thought, you know, it was the same as the rest of us. Voldemort. We were all tired. But then he… when Umbridge captured us, he was so careful with me. He took me from… Crabbe and Goyle. I think he might’ve known what happened when it did because he tried to put space between us whenever we were around them, even when he was being cruel.”

“That is peculiar,” Lucius agreed. 

“When we were captured and brought to Malfoy Manor, you asked him to identify Harry. I understood even then why you wanted him to so badly. But he refused. He said it was impossible to tell and Bellatrix said that calling Voldemort for a false alarm would’ve meant all of your deaths. Then… she got distracted by me. And… fuck, Lucius, he was miserable. Your face never changed, I know you’re better than that, but he did. And I barely saw it, saw him, but it was  _ odd _ .”

“You think he was not simply opposed to seeing torture?”

Alexia did her best not to laugh. “My friends told me that while we were on the run and they were at school, the Carrows took to regularly torturing first years and teaching older students how to do it. If they refused, they were tortured themselves. I’ve no doubt he’s seen it before then. But it’s more than that.”

“Oh?”

“During the final battle, he saved my life numerous times,” she explained quietly. “When a giant was about to fall on me, when a werewolf had almost gotten to me, when Crabbe and Goyle cornered me. He was protecting me, Lucius. I just don’t know why. He has hated me for  _ years _ . The last memory I have of him is saving him from fiendfyre.”

Lucius stroked her cheek gently and she let out a breath, willing herself to relax. “You have not talked about that day.”

“I was pulled from that day and turned into an eleven-year-old,” she rolled her eyes. “I’ve been lacking people to talk to about it. Aren’t we talking about your asshole but still a lifesaver son?”

Lucius laughed. “We can, if you’d like. I got the impression that you dislike discussing anything related to me in the future.”

Alexia deflated and leaned into his touch, letting her eyes close again. “It’s hard.”

“I would be shocked if it was easy,” he told her, leaning down to kiss her shoulder softly. It gave her shivers and she opened her eyes in time to catch him kissing her very low neck. “Perhaps I can distract you with who I am now.”

Alexia leaned up and kissed him, wrapping an arm around his neck. He held her and kissed back, biting at her lip playfully. She opened her mouth for him and he slipped his tongue in, making her gasp. She shifted her position until she was straddling him and licked at his lips, which had closed while she adjusted. He opened them and their tongues collided, both of them fighting for dominance. The kiss ended finally when their lips were chapped, and she gasped when he moved down to suck on her neck. 

“Shit,” she whispered, though she didn’t try to stop him at all. “That’s going to leave a mark.”

“Good.”

She said nothing to him after that and only offered moans or gasps in response to his sucking and licking on her neck. When he finally, slowly pulled away, he pressed his finger gently to her neck. The soft touch made her gasp in pain and the cocky grin on his face made her stomach do flips. 

“That  _ hurts _ .”

“It is supposed to hurt, Alexia.”

She silently and wandlessly summoned a mirror and gasped, eyes wide at the sight of the rather large bruise on her neck. “I can’t cover something this big up after this long! Everyone will see it!”

“I know,” he murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to the purple bruise on her skin. She let out a hiss of pain and felt his lips twitch upward at the sound. 

“You enjoy this far too much.”

“I enjoy  _ you _ .”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Off topic but I'll physically fight anyone that says Lofthouse cookies aren't good. That is a hill I will absolutely die on.


	17. Butterfly Bandage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peak of the Dolohov Thing for this fic. At least, the bad part.

**Chapter Seventeen**

_ I’m coming apart at the seams _

_ Pitching myself for a role in other peoples’ dreams _

**November 25th, 1973**

“It’s not going to work like that,” Remus warned. Alexia ignored him and cursed softly when the toy fell far down to meet the other ones. “I told you so.”

Alexia scowled. “This one doesn’t even seem to have a schedule! We have all the others worked out!”

“Yeah, and it’s fucking incredible how little we’re late to class now,” Sirius grinned. 

“Ash has a point,” Peter sighed. “Something is wrong with this staircase. It moves at totally random times.”

“Or it moves on a much more complicated schedule than all the others,” James suggested. “What if its schedule is dependent on other factors like how often it’s walked on or what day of the week it is?”

“This is going to take forever,” Sirius groaned, leaning forward to hit his head against the stone stairs they sat on. 

* * *

**December 13th, 1973**

James opened the door to the Room of Requirement and stopped short at the sight in front of him. The entire room, walls included, was a trampoline. Part of it had been turned into a foam pit and he watched as Alexia let out a frustrated scream and threw herself into the foam pit. 

“Merlin’s sake, what was that?” Sirius asked, looking over his shoulder. The boy’s mouth fell open. “Sweet!” 

“Can she  _ breathe _ in there?”

“Who in where?”

“Ash in that  _ pit _ !”

“It’s just a bunch of foam,” Remus rolled his eyes and pushed past his friend. The werewolf jumped forward fast and then fell flat on his back and let out a happy sigh. “This is cool.”

“Get out,” Alexia called as she pulled herself out of the pit. “I’m angry.”

“Why did your anger make you want to create this beautiful place?” Peter asked her, jumping around with a grin.

“Because the last time I created the dueling room, I accidentally cursed myself and it took Lucius an hour to heal me. This seemed like a better idea.”

“Okay, but why are you angry?”

“ _ Because _ Lucius told me his fucking parents want to  _ meet me _ .”

“Oof,” James winced. “When?” 

“The day before the ball,” she scowled. “Jamie, they’re going to fuckin kill me.”

“They will not,” Sirius rolled his eyes. “I’d guess they just want to make sure this is temporary.”

“Then they should talk to him!”

“Mum could always refuse to let you go,” James reminded her. She threw her head back, exhausted. 

“No, she couldn’t. It would be rude. I just don’t want to meet Abraxas, I’ve heard horrible things about him.”

“Well, we can always invite them to our house,” James suggested. “It would be much safer there.”

“That’s a good idea,” she nodded slowly before sighing. “I just… I don’t want anyone interfering. I really like him and we’re having fun.”

“Yeah, we can tell,” Peter laughed. “Remember that hickey?”

“No, I never want to think about that again,” James cried, tossing himself into the foam pit to spare himself. 

* * *

**December 17th, 1973**

“Are you  _ sure _ they’re not going to try and kill me or something? Because- no, look, it sounds dramatic but god, Lucius, purebloods are scary!”

“You are a pureblood,” he reminded her, amused. She crossed her arms and leaned back against the arm of the chair. 

“And so is Walburga Black and she would’ve killed me if she could’ve every single time she saw me.”

“You are proving my point perfectly,” he laughed, drawing patterns on her arm softly with his thumb. “My parents are not bigots, Alexia. They follow whoever will be most successful. That is not the way to grow a good society, I know that, but it is what they do. I am almost certain they want to know if you would be a fitting wife for me.”

Alexia’s frown disappeared and she let her head fall onto his shoulder. “I’d rather not discuss our future partners or the fact that we won’t be together.”

“Ah, but having future partners does not mean we cannot deeply enjoy our time together,” he reminded her gently. It was a sore subject for her and she’d avoided talking about it to the best of her ability. “And I am certainly enjoying my time with you.”

Alexia looked up and kissed him softly. “I have to put that mark on you soon. I think I’ve finally figured out the final rune.”

“You know, Lexi, there are easier ways to ask me to remove my shirt,” he joked with a smile. She blushed a little. 

“When I feel like asking you to remove your shirt for fun, I’m certain you’ll know,” she promised. “I already put the mark on myself and gave the correct runes to Dumbledore, and he’s adding it to his Order mark, which means that if a member of his Order or my DA in the future touch their wand to your mark, it’ll light up and prove you’re good. I’ll show you in a minute. Shirt, please.”

Lucius shifted a little and she did as well, straddling him instead of lying across him. The look on his face made her shiver and she ignored the pool of warmth in her stomach, instead pulling her wand. She muttered softly and drew the runes, hissing when it burned the rune just below her chest. When she was done, they rearranged to look like a tattoo of a gentle hermione, a suggestion from Dumbledore himself. She lifted her shirt to see her own flower fading from the bright gold back to the black it had been moments before. 

Lucius reached out and touched it softly, making her gasp. His fingers traced the lines of the flower until he reached the stem and pulled away after gently trailing down to where it ended. “It is beautiful.”

Alexia smiled at him shakily and shoved her sleeves up to show him a mark on the top of her wrist, almost hitting her hand. “This is the mark of the Order- a phoenix.” She shoved her hair out of the way and showed him a small line on the back of her neck. “And that’s the wand that I used for the DA before the final battle. Anyone with either of these marks will be able to confirm that you’re good.” She raised her wand and tapped it to the new mark on his chest. He watched as both of her marks lit up and smiled.

“Thank you, Alexia.” He paused. “How did you connect it to your DA marks?”

“Oh,” she grinned, pulling her hair up into a high ponytail. “That was difficult. I had to make a rune for that, actually. It basically ties into the spell I made way back when we signed the register in fifth year. Which sort of means that not everyone knows they have a DA mark. The only person that joined that doesn’t have it is fucking Marietta Edgecomb because she was the twat that triggered the spell, meaning her name was magically crossed off the list.”

“This is all very impressive,” he told her. She was going to reply but he grabbed her and gently pulled her close to press a kiss to her exposed neck. She bit down on her lip, her eyes closing. 

The hickey that came from that day was nearly impossible to cover and he smirked every time he saw it, much to her annoyance.

* * *

**December 19th, 1973**

“How the hell are they so far ahead? She’s supposed to be avoiding detentions!” 

Remus sighed and put a mark down under each of their names. “She hasn’t been getting any. It seems she’s sneakier than we thought.”

“Where is she, anyway?” Peter questioned. “She said she’d help me with my transfiguration extra credit.”

“Lexi?” Mary questioned from the couch. When the group nodded she shrugged. “She went to go watch Lucius practice. Said she’d be back in an hour. I’d assume she got held up snogging or something.”

James cursed and grabbed the map out of his pockets and opened it. He looked first at the Quidditch pitch and frowned. “Malfoy is there but she isn’t.”

“Oh,  _ fuck _ ,” Remus cursed, tearing the map from his hands. He pointed at the forbidden forest where two names showed up.

Alexia Potter and Antonin Dolohov.

* * *

Alexia felt bad for lying, she really did, but she needed to breathe. She felt overwhelmed. Her friends were always with her and she got nearly no alone time. So she made her way past the Quidditch pitch and into the forbidden forest to where she had seen the thestrals the day she’d left. 

She hadn’t had time to process the reason she could see them, nor had she had time to process how incredible they were. While they looked malnourished, she knew better. She’d certainly read enough about them after Harry had claimed to see them in fifth year. When her eyes settled on the skeletal black creatures, she froze, her breath catching. 

She remembered Percy. She remembered Colin. She remembered Lavender. She remembered Harry’s limp, dead body. She remembered the relief when she’d been told that Molly had killed Bellatrix. She remembered the fear that she’d be one of the casualties. She remembered the way the castle reeked of death and how it had made her sick.

“Busy, Potter?”

Alexia spun around, her wand already out and pointing at him. “Go away, Dolohov. I’m sick of you. I’ll stay far away from you as long as you just leave me the hell alone.”

“That’s no fun,” he grinned at her. “I heard your mind got fucked up. Did you know that only happens when you’ve been through a lot of painful shit? I’d  _ love _ to know what happened to you so that I can recreate it.”

“Seriously, Dolohov, get the fuck away from me,” she told him, gripping her wand tighter. Even with her intense reflexes, she was barely able to put a shield up in time when Dolohov whipped his wand out and shot off a dark curse. She scowled and raised her hand to hold the shield. She tried not to use wandless magic around people she didn’t trust, but she didn’t feel confident around him and needed to protect herself while fighting. “ _ Confrigo _ !” 

Dolohov blocked it and she watched it blow up a tree behind him. He cast another dark curse and when it passed through her shield, she jumped out of the way to avoid being hit. The pair kept going for a while and it became obvious that they weren’t getting anywhere, much to her frustration. She had gone through war for Merlin’s sake. She should be able to handle a thirteen-year-old asshole.

She had begun casting silently again simply for the fact that it made it harder for him to know how to block her attempts. She cast a patronus and put as much power into it as she could, grateful to see the overpowered charm knock him to the ground. She stalked over to him with her shield still up, but he moved too quick for her and threw a familiar curse at her. She almost thought it was funny that it hit her in the same spot on her hip that it had hit her before, but she didn’t have the time to think about it as she was thrown to the ground. Her head hit a rock and she didn’t even notice her wand rolling away from her. 

“There’s something about you,” Dolohov whispered as he moved to sit on her legs. She winced, her breath picking up at the position. “Something that makes you… irresistible.”

“Get off of me,” she ground out, biting her cheek in pain. She could feel blood dripping down her side and onto her leg and the ground. The pounding in her head grew with every second, but none of it compared to the panic in her chest. Dolohov leaned down and grabbed her wrists, pulling them up to pin her arms above her head, likely so that she couldn’t curse him. She couldn’t have, anyway, since her magic was diverting itself to her injuries to keep her stable until she got help. She wouldn’t have the  _ power _ to curse him, not anymore. 

“Ah, Alexia,” he shook his head with a laugh. When he met her eyes, she felt him dig around, trying to get past her walls and closed her eyes abruptly. “Oh, but I’d love to know what’s happened to you. Won’t you tell me?”

“Get off of me,” she repeated, her voice shaking. To her horror, he leaned down and kissed her lips and she let out an involuntary whimper at the touch, remembering the DOM. 

“What a nice sound,” he whispered. 

“Get off of me,” she yelled, hoping someone was close enough to hear and help her. She knew that she was close enough to the part of the forest that met the Quidditch pitch that there was a chance, so she’d shouted as loud as she possibly could. He glared down at her and removed a hand to silence her quickly. She swung upward to punch him and he was pushed back enough that she shoved him off of her and crawled back until her back hit a tree and raised her hands at him. 

“You fucking bitch,” he snarled, raising his wand at her again. “You’re going to regret that. You’ll  _ beg _ me to kill you.”

Alexia put up a weak shield, the only thing she could manage to cast. He waved his wand at her and threw a cutting curse at her. She let out a sharp scream when it broke down her shield and she was unable to move. It hit her in the stomach and she pushed on it with a hand, feeling dizzier than before. Dolohov raised his hand to curse her again, but he was hit with a red light and fell to the ground. Alexia didn’t have the energy to turn her head and focused instead on pressing her hand to her injuries. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” someone told her. She couldn’t tell who it was, and she blinked rapidly, trying only to stay awake. “Open your eyes, Alexia. Stay awake for me. What did he hit you with?”

“His… curse,” she muttered. “Could've killed me… last time.”

“How did you live?”

She forced her eyes open enough to see Lucius kneeling in a pool of her blood, waving his wand at her injuries. “Only… grazed me then.”

“Did he do anything else? Alexia,  _ please _ .”

Her vision blurred and she blinked at him. Her free hand reached out to touch his bare arm and she felt her mind calm a little. “Hit my head… pinned me down…”

“You need to stay awake,” he told her softly. His warm hand came to touch her cheeks and she wanted to frown. It was wet and sticky. Her eyes slid closed again and she felt relief at not fighting it anymore. 

She was so tired of fighting.

* * *

“ _ Get off of me _ !” 

Lucius froze mid-air, easily recognizing the voice. Alexia. He looked at Regulus frantically and the boy waved him on with wide eyes. He said nothing to the rest of his teammates and flew out of the pitch and to the edge of the forest, jumping off of the broom and running. Alexia hadn’t yelled again and it certainly worried him. The only clue of where she could be was some rustling a little bit away, so he took off running. 

“You fucking bitch,” he heard Dolohov snap. “You’re going to regret that. You’ll  _ beg _ me to kill you.”

Lucius sped up, his heart racing. What had happened? He came to a small clearing and spotted them just as Dolohov threw a cutting curse at Alexia, who was already badly bleeding. He could see a trail of blood a little ways away from her where she’d obviously dragged herself from. When Dolohov raised his wand again, Lucius cast the first wandless magic he’d ever used: a stunner. Dolohov dropped to the ground and he ran over to his quickly fading girlfriend. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” he promised, taking stock of her injuries. “Open your eyes, Alexia. Stay awake for me. What did he hit you with?”

“His… curse,” she answered him weakly. He could tell it took a lot of effort to stay awake. “Could’ve killed me… last time.”

He knew what she was talking about. He’d seen that memory. It was when he’d been chasing her through Hogwarts’ grounds and Remus had barely managed to save her. “How did you live?”

He watched her open her eyes just a little bit and waved his wand over her stomach to vanish the pool of blood over the injury and her hand. “Only… grazed me then.”

Lucius nodded. “Did he do anything else?” Her eyes began to close and his breath caught. “Alexia,  _ please _ .”

They opened again and she blinked at him. She reached up to touch his arm and he let her, watching as she tried to speak. “Hit my head… pinned me down…”

“You need to stay awake,” he told her gently, pushing aside the fury rising in him. When her eyes began to close again, he touched her cheek softly. Her eyes slid closed, though, and he cursed. “Alexia, wake up.”

She didn’t.

Lucius cursed again and began healing her stomach. She’d lost a significant amount of blood and he wasn’t certain how to help that without potions. He sliced her shirt apart so that he could work easier and began to close up the wound to the best of his ability. When that was done, he moved to check her head. His spell told him that she had a concussion but nothing more serious, so he moved down to her hip. With a wince, he shoved her skirt down a little and stared at the injury, unsure. 

The blood coming from the injury was red like all the rest of her blood, but the area had been gouged out and was turning black quickly. He used his wand to scrape the black off and while it did work, it came back much too quick for him to truly help her. 

“Fuck!” 

Lucius ignored the voice of Sirius and continued working, his hands shaking slightly. He felt someone land to his left and ignored them.

“Shit, what the fuck happened?” Sirius asked sharply. “She’s so… pale.”

“She’s dying,” Remus whispered. “She’s dying, isn’t she?”

“She is,” Lucius answered quietly. “She’s lost a lot of blood and I can’t heal this curse. She’s received it before and lived but was unable to tell me how.”

“She has a ton of potions in her bag,” Sirius mentioned. “Where is her bag?”

“ _ Accio _ Alexia’s bag!” James yelled. The beaded bag flew at him from a few feet away and Remus grabbed it before it could hit him in the face. He reached into it with his wand. “ _ Accio _ blood replenisher!” When the bottles came up, Remus grabbed two and set the rest aside and began tipping them down her throat. 

“No, it’s more urgent than that,” Sirius shook his head, grabbing it from his hand. James began helping Lucius scrape away the black that was preventing her from being healed while Sirius spelled the potion straight into Alexia. 

“This is working,” Lucius said softly. “Someone else needs to help as well.”

Sirius jumped at the chance to do something and the three set to work while Remus grabbed her hand and frowned. 

“Her wrist is broken.”

“And the other one?” Lucius asked. Remus checked and furrowed his brow.

“That one, too.”

Lucius didn’t reply and focused on healing her instead of the anger burning inside of him. After an agonizing hour, the black had all been scraped away and he healed her up in a hurry, worried that it would begin to grow back if he didn’t. When her skin was tight but closed over the painful injury, he grabbed her in his arms and began walking away without a word to the other boys. 

* * *

**December 25th, 1973**

“Are these…  _ knives _ ?”

Dorea laughed and took the daggers back, unsheathing them. “They’re daggers, dear. We’ll be teaching you how to use them before you go back.”

Alexia shook her head with a grin. “What, you want me to throw a dagger at him next time?”

“If that is what it takes, yes,” Charlus told her seriously. “These are no muggle daggers, sweetheart. They’re magical. If you throw them or lose them, they’ll return to the sheath. You can also power them with spells or curses. They’re very dangerous, Alexia. You need to be careful with them.”

“Aw,” James pouted. “I hoped you’d give them to me, mum.”

“Yes, dear, but you don’t seem to be finding yourself in life threatening danger nearly as often as your sister does,” Dorea pointed out, patting his head. “Go on, Sirius, open yours up.”

Sirius spared a glance at the Potter parents before opening his own tastefully wrapped gift. Inside was a black box, and when he opened that, he paused, his mouth hanging open. “I don’t understand. This ring is a Potter heirloom. You can’t give this to me.”

“You’ll find that we generally do whatever we like,” Charlus grinned. “You’re our son, Sirius. You deserve an heirloom just as much as James and Alexia do.”

Sirius shot to his feet and wrapped both parents up in a hug and if anyone noticed the tears in his eyes, no one said anything. 

* * *

**December 30th, 1973**

“Abraxas, Maria,” Dorea greeted with a smile, waving them into the sitting room. “Lovely to see you both. And Lucius, how are you?”

“I am well, Lady Potter,” he replied with a smile, kissing the back of her hand. 

“Oh, have you met Alexia?” Charlus asked, wrapping an arm around his smiling daughter. 

“I do not believe we have,” Abraxas replied, taking her hand to kiss her knuckles. “We have heard so much about you.”

“Nothing bad, I hope,” she laughed a little as they took their seats. 

“Oh, of course not,” Maria replied. “Lucius has stars in his eyes when he speaks of you, my dear.”

“Perhaps we shall get straight into it,” Charlus suggested. “And then we can relax over tea and let the kids have a moment to themselves.”

Abraxas nodded firmly. “Wonderful idea. Do you approve of this match?”

“I approve of anyone Lexi decides is good enough for her,” Charlus replied. “But as for marriage contracts, I’m afraid it is impossible for many reasons, one of which being that Alexia has already stumbled upon a soul bond with someone else.”

“Oh?” Maria raised an eyebrow at the girl. “Then why do you wish to be with Lucius?”

“Because I care greatly for him,” Alexia answered easily. “I enjoy spending time with him and while I know we will not be together for our entire lives, I know that we can enjoy what we have while we have it and that is what we intend to do. He also quite literally saved my life.”

“He did, did he?” Abraxas raised an eyebrow at his son who nodded. 

“I told you she was attacked by Dolohov,” he reminded his parents. “I was the one that found her and stopped him.”

“This was how long ago?”

“Just over a week,” Dorea answered. “She is only now fully healed.”

“I owe your son a life debt,” Alexia told the Malfoy parents honestly. “I’m forever grateful.”

“And this is just innocent fun?” Abraxas asked Lucius. 

“It is.”

“Then it is fine so long as you choose your bride by the time you graduate.”

“Dad? Mum?” Alexia looked to her parents. They offered her a smile. 

“You already know we trust you completely,” Dorea told her. “You care for him so we will not interfere, dear.”

“Now perhaps the kids can have some time together while we speak,” Charlus suggested. Abraxas nodded and the young couple was politely kicked out of the room and she led him up to her room and dropped onto the small couch near the bookshelves. 

“That was terrifying,” she breathed, resting her head on his shoulder when he sat next to her and took her hand. “Your parents are intimidating.”

“You did well,” he assured her, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “How are you feeling? Your mother said you are healed, but… it was bad, Alexia. I’ve never seen so much blood before.”

She closed her eyes, relaxing as he pulled his fingers gently through her hair to relax her. “My wrists still hurt but otherwise I’m fine. They can’t do anything for the bruises and I only took the braces off this morning.”

Lucius’s lips thinned at the reminder. “I do not understand how he managed to break your wrists.”

Alexia sighed a little. “He was just putting so much pressure on them. I think he did it on purpose, honestly. The good news is that my parents don’t have to invite him to the ball since it’s widely known he wants to fucking kill me.”

Lucius grimaced. “Dumbledore did that without your permission?”

“Of course he did,” she scowled. “The one time he chose to speak out on this matter and he won’t even suspend Dolohov since I’m apparently fine.”

“And your parents-,”

“I told them to just leave it. We don’t need to be on bad terms with Dumbledore, not when I know that never happens,” she sighed, turning to look at him now. Her frown turned to a soft smile as she cupped his face in her hands and kissed him softly. He returned it for only a moment before pulling back to look in her eyes. She let him, trusting him fully not to invade her mind. 

“Now that our parents are aware and approve,” he smiled at her. “May I escort you to tomorrow’s ball, Miss Potter?”

Alexia grinned at him. “I would love that, Mister Malfoy.”

“Ew.”

Alexia’s head turned fast to see James scowling at them as he and Sirius entered the library and she rolled her eyes. “Well I didn’t think either of our parents would appreciate it if I took him to my bedroom, Prongs. Would you rather we go there instead? We can-,”

“No!” James shouted, shooting Lucius a glare. “No, you and your innocence will stay right here.”

“My  _ what _ ?”

“Oh, shit,” Sirius winced. “James, maybe you should-,”

“No, I want to hear more about my fabricated innocence,” Alexia stared darkly. “Go on, James. What part of me would be ruined if we did whatever it is you’re thinking of?”

“Well, it’s just that- I mean-,”

“James, remember when I avoided you after Dolohov triggered that curse?”

“Yeah…”

“ _ That _ took the last of my fucking innocence,” she snapped. His eyes widened and she could feel his regret just as he could feel her anger. “I appreciate the brotherly concern but keep it limited to my health and safety and not what I do with my boyfriend who would  _ never _ hurt me.”

“I’m sorry, Lex.”

“I know, Jamie,” she breathed, the angry energy disappearing quickly. “I am, too. I’m on edge.”

“Then we’ve got just the thing to cheer you up!” Sirius grinned. “Dad said we can duel while the Prewett twins come visiting with their parents. They just got here.”

Alexia paused to consider it. There was a part of her that  _ loathed _ fighting, even if it was just dueling. There was another part of her, however, that dearly missed it. She had been terrified while fighting Dolohov, but she’d also been invigorated and excited. 

“Yeah, that sounds fun,” she said finally. “They’re fairly advanced, right?”

“They can hold their own against their dad,” James agreed. “Or that’s what their dad said. They usually duel together.”

Alexia grinned. “Perfect.”

* * *

“Uh, we’re not both fighting you, pip,” Fabian raised an eyebrow at her. “You’re small and while advanced and a little scary, we could hurt you.”

“I could hurt you,” she countered. At their stubborn look, she sighed. “Fine, I’ll fight all of my friends and my boyfriend and if I win all of those, you two have to fight me.”

The twins exchanged a silent glance before they nodded together. “Deal.”

“Okay, suddenly I regret getting up here first,” James laughed nervously. “You’ll go easy on me, right, Lex?”

“I won’t hurt you,” she answered with a shrug. He groaned and lifted his wand at the same time as her while they waited for the twins. 

“Duel!”

James threw an  _ expelliarmus _ first and Alexia almost laughed. She dodged it easily and raised her wand to cast, overpowering her  _ rectumsempra _ so that it would get past his weak shield. It did and he dropped his shield and wand as he fell to the ground laughing, the spell tickling him. He began to move, so she sent a  _ stupefy _ at him and walked over to pluck his wand off the floor. 

“Man, that was  _ quick _ ,” Peter laughed, grinning at Alexia. “Is it too late for me to back out?”

“Definitely,” she replied. “C’mon, you’re up next.”

Gideon rolled his eyes at her and sent a  _ Finite _ at James and helped him down off the stage so Peter and Alexia could take their places. 

“Duel!” 

Peter, not knowing the shield yet, began shooting off every spell he could think of. The only one that bothered her or even hit her was a specific cutting hex meant for hair and she shrieked loudly and angrily when her hair, which fell down to the bottom of her back, was cut until it hit just below her shoulders.

“Oh, shit,” Peter whispered, wincing. 

“ _ Alarte Ascendare _ ,” Alexia yelled. Peter flew high into the air and she cast an  _ Arresto Momentum _ at the last second so that he hit the ground hard, but not hard enough to be hurt. His wand rolled to the side and she grabbed it, glaring at the poor boy at her feet. “You cut my hair!” 

“Ash, don’t hex him,” Remus called out with a wince. “Your hair looks fine. Your parents will be pissed if you hurt him.”

“I’m pissed,” she muttered, dropping Peter’s wand on him as he got to his feet. She made her way back to her side as he was helped down by Fabian. Next up was Lily, who had arrived just after they’d started with Severus. 

“Do I have to fight you?” Lily asked with a frown, getting up on the stage. 

“The only person exempt is Remus,” Alexia nodded. “Plus, I think you might be a good challenge for me. You’re smart.”

“Hey!” Peter and James stared at her, offended. 

“I might be smart but I’ve never dueled before,” Lily told her.

“Okay, if you lose, I promise to help you get better,” Alexia offered. “I’ve got a lot of experience in this and it’s fun to do it.”

“Fine,” Lily sighed, walking up to where Peter had just been. She pulled her wand and, when Gideon called it, set up a strong shield immediately. Alexia threw a few weak hexes and curses at it, waiting for Lily to feel confident enough to drop it. When she did, she cast a small cutting hex at Alexia, and the girl put up a shield. Lily stood there, obviously thinking about what to do, and Alexia cast a silent and wandless  _ Expelliarmus _ with her left hand. She dropped the shield and caught the wand with a smile. 

“You guys keep forgetting I can do wandless magic,” she shook her head, tossing the wand back to its rightful owner. “Why?”

“Maybe because you’re  _ thirteen _ ,” Fabian let out a startled laugh. “Why can you do wandless magic, Pip?”

“Ah, long story,” she shrugged. “And I’ll tell you after I beat you.”

Gideon grinned at her. “Sure. Who next?”

“Lucius,” she smiled brightly at her boyfriend who was shaking his head with a small smile. “You have to duel me sometime, love.”

Both of their smiles dimmed a little bit as they realized how true that was. 

Lucius moved from his place among her friends to stand across from her and she felt a little sick. How would he be able to fight her?  _ Why _ would he fight her? Certainly not because she’d told him to. He’d be in love with and loyal to Narcissa. There would be a day when she didn’t matter anymore, of course, but would it mean he could so easily hurt her?

That thought made her feel sicker than thinking about him fighting her, and she realized a little too suddenly why it did. 

“Pip?” 

Alexia blinked and looked to Gideon, who was touching her arm and looking very worried. “Huh?”

“We asked if you’re ready,” he explained. “Do you need to take a break?”

“No,” she shook her head. “No, I’m fine.” 

“Alexia,” Lucius called. Her eyes settled on his and she shook her head a little. There was no way she could explain, not right then with all of her friends in the room. Not with her  _ brother _ in the room, or the boy she had a soul bond with. 

“I’m ready,” she said, this time firmly. Gideon nodded and stepped back and began the duel. 

Alexia threw up a shield immediately and threw a few harmless curses at him, mostly to test the strength of his own shield. It was rather strong, so she threw a few more intense ones at him, this time to see how quickly he was able to dodge. Only one hit him and she winced at the dark bruise that would form. He only raised an eyebrow at her, though, and began working harder to get through her shield. Only one spell got through her shield and hit her shoulder, making her bleed a little. She ignored it and kept going.

“Hey, no dark magic!” Fabian called. Alexia paused. Which of them had used dark magic? She wasn’t even sure. Fighting Lucius felt more like fighting the war than anyone else. It was as methodical as it had been - see how strong they are and then see how to exploit their weaknesses. She’d never found Lucius’s weaknesses and it made her just as anxious then as it had before. 

Still holding the shield, she threw up her wand arm, pausing the duel. When Lucius stopped throwing curses, she let her other hand fall to her side. Her heart was racing and she felt tenser than she had in months, even after Dolohov. 

“I can’t fight him.”

“Ah, come on, Ash,” James rolled his eyes. “I get it, he’s your boyfriend, but put some effort in!” 

“I am!” she snapped. “Power isn’t the problem,  _ James _ . I can’t fight him.”

“This is dumb,” Sirius made a face. “Merlin, Lexi, I didn’t think you’d be afraid to hurt his pretty face.”

“It’s not his fucking face!” she snapped. “I  _ can’t _ . I don’t even know which one of us sent fucking dark magic at each other, Sirius! I love dueling but not him, okay? Never him again.”

“It’s okay,” Fabian told her, confused. “We can stop. If you want to do it again at school, you don’t have to fight him, okay?”

“Thank you.”

Alexia ignored her friends as well as Lucius - who was following her - and left the room. She made her way down a flight of stairs and into her room where she lifted off her top layer. Underneath was a tank top and she pulled the strap to the side to begin healing herself. It was a struggle with the angle, and Lucius put his hand on top of hers and lowered it, pulling his own wand up to her shoulder. 

“Tell me what happened,” he requested quietly, carefully picking out the pieces of the curse that had lodged themselves in her shoulder like shrapnel. 

“You are incredible,” she told him. “Every single time I’ve fought you, I’ve never been able to figure out any weaknesses. You’re one of the most talented fighters I know. Even now.”

“Fighting me was harder because it reminded you?”

She sighed and pushed his hand away from her shoulder and looked in his eyes. “Watch it, okay?”

“Alexia-,”

“Saying things out loud… it’s hard,” she explained quietly. “I’ve been here for two and a half years but it feels like just yesterday that I stood across the courtyard from Voldemort, looking at you and everyone else.”

“Okay,” he answered quietly. She led him over to her bed where they sat down across from each other, her with her legs crossed. He grabbed her face and held it within his hands, not because he needed to but because when he touched her, she relaxed. When he met her eyes, he quietly cast the spell. 

_ Hermione looked over her shoulder as she ran down the stairs two at a time, holding a shield behind her to block the curses flying at her at an incredible speed. She considered once more jumping over the railing and catching herself with  _ Arresto Momentum _ but she knew he’d just keep casting and she wouldn’t have the ability to properly shield herself. When she got down that flight, she turned abruptly and went down a deserted hall. It was either a good idea or a very bad one, but she was sick of running down flights of stairs with him wearing down her shield. It was somewhat dark, and his curses lit up the hall for her. She stopped abruptly and reinforced her shield with her other hand, using strength she didn’t know she had.  _

_ “Stop- Merlin, stop cursing me for a moment!” _

_ Lucius did as she asked, narrowing his eyes at her. “Why should I not kill you right now?” _

_ “Because despite the fact that I can’t hit you, you’re having a difficult time hitting me, too,” she reasoned, hoping he’d forgotten that he’d already hit her with a dark curse. “And because there are a few things I’ve observed about your son and I… hope they ring true in you as well.” _

_ “My son, who has done his best to torment you for seven years? Who helped to torment your friends while you ran away?” _

_ “We were not- god, you’re difficult,” she scowled at him. “Draco does not seem like he belongs with Voldemort.” _

_ “Be careful who you say his name around, Granger,” Lucius narrowed his eyes at her. “Bellatrix hears that and she might just spend some time with you again.” _

_ Hermione couldn’t help the way she flinched. “Your Dark Lord is a fake, Malfoy. He’s a half blood. He wants power, not purity. How many purebloods has he killed in the name of this… twisted mission? How many purebloods are here tonight that he’s let die? And for what? Purity? Purity will suffocate this society, you know that, right? If you have no new blood coming in, you will die out. Inbreeding isn’t the answer. Are you so blinded by your hatred for me and other muggleborns that you would let the wizarding world die? Let muggleborn children become Obcsuri because they cannot get an education?” _

_ “I do not  _ hate _ you,” Lucius raised an eyebrow. “The Dark Lord hates you.” _

_ “So you’re just another thoughtless sycophant, then,” she scowled at him. “Then kill me now.” _

_ Lucius met her eyes and she shivered a little. His face was just as blank and unreadable as it always was, but there was something in his eyes that made her wish she knew the right words to break him because she was suddenly certain they existed.  _

_ No more words were exchanged. Their duel began again very suddenly, and they ate at one another’s shields. She began using dark magic just as he was. She knew plenty of it from her time with Sirius- or rather with Sirius’s library. She saw her curse slip through his shield and hit his leg and she breathed in relief when it dropped him to the ground. She knew he was unconscious and stunned him. It took her only a minute to make sure her curse wouldn’t kill him and from there, she ran away to begin her quest to find Harry again. _

Lucius stroked her cheeks quietly when tears began to fall, swiping one away. Her breathing was ragged and he felt the anger and fear that now tainted that memory. “Why?” he asked softly, referring to the intense emotions.

“I don’t think I should…” she shook her head, sucking in a sharp breath. 

“Alexia, I don’t understand,” he told her quietly. “Why did you show me that?”

“Fighting you is so hard,” she told him. “Thinking about how I did in my past, your future… is even more difficult. I hate knowing the future, Lucius. I want to live in this time and not know what we have ahead of us. I like where we are now.” 

“And so do I,” he promised, looking in her conflicted eyes. “It is more than that. What’s wrong?”

Alexia ran her fingers anxiously through her hair, wishing once again she had never come back. Just as she always did when that thought went through her mind, she felt an intense amount of guilt for it. She loved people that she never would’ve had the chance to love before. Including the confusing boy in front of her. 

He was so  _ good _ . He cared for her, even when she was just a strange Gryffindor first year that he’d never met before. He’d helped her and become her friend and then asked her out and become her boyfriend. He’d saved her life and cared for her so deeply and clearly, regardless of the fact that they could never be together for the rest of their lives, something that hurt her more than she thought it had any right to. 

He was so good and it was driving her crazy. 

“Does it not bother you?” she asked him softly, ignoring the tears falling down her cheeks. His hands had fallen from her face and she was grateful for that - his touch was so relaxing and kind and it only made everything worse. “That we’ll fight and you’re supposed to hate me someday? That you’ll meet a twelve-year-old Hermione Granger and you can’t be kind to her? That you’ll be married to the perfectly bred pureblood woman and have the perfect pureblood son who also is going to treat me like shit?”

“Alexia, I hate it,” he told her in a whisper. “I want to… not believe you or refuse that for my future, for the future of my family, but I cannot. It is your past. When you go back, it will be over. Why does it bother you so much?”

“I’m not upset for  _ my _ future, I’m upset for yours,” she answered him with a frown. “Not so much because of what you do to me - though that does bother me, too - but rather because I know you, Lucius. I  _ hate _ that your future involves so much hatred and darkness. You deserve so much better.” 

“Alexia,” Lucius said softly, touching his forehead to hers. “I will do it for you. You are clearly unlike anyone I have ever met. And when you get back to your rightful time, find me. We will speak and I will tell you how I have never hated you and how I never will hate you. I will tell you that I raised my son to be a good person, despite the way he was forced to treat you.”

“Lucius, you can’t,” she gasped. “Draco has always hated me.”

“And yet he saved you,” he pointed out. She couldn’t deny that it made some sort of sense. The inconsistencies in the boy’s behavior were less confusing when she assumed he was forced to do the things he did. 

“When I get back,” she bit her lip with a frown. “When I get back, I will find you. I’ll tell you that I will help to clear your name immediately and that I will never be upset with you - and Draco if you truly can do that - for what you were forced to do. And then I’ll apologize for making you… do everything you have to do.”

Lucius leaned forward and kissed her, and she felt the tension in her release with the anxiety that had built up. 

They’d be okay, and she would stop thinking about his future because she was wasting the time she had with him then.

* * *

**December 31st, 1973**

Alexia, Lily, Marlene, Mary, Alice, and Dorcas were all gathered in Alexia’s bedroom doing their makeup and hair. The girls had all arrived early for the ball upon Alexia’s request, mostly because the boys were driving her crazy. She was fairly certain she’d threatened to hex all of them, including Remus, the only one she regretted. 

Alexia’s dress was a muted orange color that came up to her neck, had long sleeves, and went down to the floor. It was beautiful on her. Her makeup had been decided earlier that week by Dorea, who had put it on her. The only issue was her hair, considering her new haircut. 

Peter had been hexed twice more for that, and Charlus had been forced to give the boy a ring to protect him from magic. It was a  _ very _ powerful heirloom that Peter would be giving back before they left. Alexia planned to hex him one last time on the train. 

“Let’s curl it,” Dorcas suggested excitedly. She’d arrived already made up and ready for the ball, and most of the other girls had already finished. Only Alice and Lily were left. Alexia sat in a chair in front of her vanity with Dorcas, Marlene, and Mary standing over her trying to decide what to do with her hair. 

“I’d suggest highlights but her hair is too black for anything good,” Marlene sighed. “Curling is good. Just light curls, though. Those dramatic ones take way too long and the ball is in like… ten minutes.”

Alexia let out a noise of despair.

“Don’t worry, kiddo,” Dorcas laughed, beginning to curl her hair with her wand. “This only takes a minute. I do it all the time.”

“Ooh,” Mary gasped. “You don’t have any jewelry on.”

Alexia frowned. “I forgot. Hm… The Potter ring, obviously. Mum’s locket. I’ve got a little hair thing that Jamie picked out for me. Actually, he gave it to me for Christmas, I’m fairly sure Mum picked it out. It’s over on my table with my book, Mary, will you grab it for me? Maybe Dorcas can fit it in somehow.”

“Oh, this is  _ gorgeous _ ,” Mary gasped as she picked it up. It was a silver flower crown and Dorcas plucked it up and settled it in her hair, placing five sticking charms and muggle safety pins on it to keep it there. It went well with her dress and matched the silver of Dorea’s locket. 

“Perfect,” Marlene nodded. “So anyway, is there alcohol?”

“Marls, you’re not getting drunk,” Lily scolded as she left the bathroom with Alice, both girls finished with the mirror and ready for the ball. 

“There is, but there’s an invisible age line,” Alexia laughed. “Mum’s afraid of kids getting into it, specifically you and Sirius.”

“Who is he going with, anyway?” Marlene wondered. Alexia shrugged. 

“I thought you two were dating.”

“Nah, we’re just having fun. No dating.”

“No one,” James answered. Lily threw a hairbrush at him, startled by his sudden appearance. She looked down at her hands in surprise, eyes wide. “Ow! Merlin, Evans, this is my own house!” 

“No, she’s got it right,” Alexia agreed. “We’re getting ready, Jamie. What if we’d been naked?”

“Then it would’ve warranted throwing a hairbrush,” he looked at her like she was stupid. “Anyway, Sirius isn’t going with anyone. He said he doesn’t want to ‘disrespect the bond-,’”

“Bond of family,” Alexia filled in with a glare. James blushed. “Because he’s family. So he’s going to... what? Try and get someone to bring him firewhiskey?”

“Probably,” James shrugged. “Mum said Malfoy is waiting for you. Apparently, I was wrong. The ball started thirty minutes ago.”

Alexia raised her hand at him but resisted hexing her brother. His wide eyes calmed her, the fear satisfying. “I’m not going to hex you now, Prongs, but I will hex you. I know how hard it is for you to even somewhat control that rats’ nest you call hair.”

“Thanks, Ash,” he breathed in relief. “No go or the stuffy purebloods will start whispering about you.”

Alexia rolled her eyes and walked over, handing him their mum’s locket and turning around. He put it on her quietly and gently shoved her out of the room, much to her annoyance. She walked around the hall to the front stairs and walked down, smiling softly at the sight of Lucius at the bottom. She took his offered arm and let him walk her slowly into the ballroom. 

“You look beautiful,” he told her softly. She blushed softly and almost rolled her eyes at herself. They were dating and he still somehow made her blush. She was pulled immediately into a dance and relaxed in his arms. 

“I would have already been down here, but my brother said it started in five minutes,” she rolled her eyes. 

“Perhaps you should get information from sources other than James, who does not seem to bother listening,” Lucius laughed a little. She let out a startled squeak when he dipped her and grabbed onto him tightly when he pulled her back up. 

“I could have fallen!” 

“I would not have let you fall, Alexia.”

* * *

“Fab!” 

The redhead turned and smiled at her and she soon found herself wrapped up in a tight hug. “You didn’t come back yesterday, Pip. We were worried about you.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry,” she sighed, shaking her head. “There are a few things I think I should tell you when we get back to school, or maybe on the train. I just got overwhelmed. I still want to duel you guys.”

Fabian rolled his eyes at her and pulled her away for a dance, spotting Peter coming to pull her away. “Can’t tell me now?”

“Nope,” she shook her head. “I want to tell Gideon, too. It also requires complete privacy and we won’t be getting that unless we leave the ballroom and the last time I did that during the ball, I got spotted by a nosy elf and then I got hurt.”

“Hurt?”

She shrugged. “I’ll explain more tomorrow, but that was when Dolohov cursed Jamie and I.”

“Alright. And you came over to me because…?”

Alexia let out a small laugh. “Honestly? Because Arcturus Black just tried to dance with me and I really don’t want that. You’re the closest around that would save me.”

“Then let’s dance!” He grinned. She only had a moment to prepare herself before he spun her and the thought to hex every pureblood in sight crossed her mind. Why did they dance so dramatically?

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh right we're finally getting to the chapters that are easier to post (as in, I don't have to erase a line between every paragraph) so chapters coming faster. I will genuinely have to take a break if I hit chapter 30 to rapid post my other stories because... it's difficult to explain, but they have to be here too before chapter 31.


	18. Seal The Clouds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexia Is A Dumb Bitch (I'd fall too, honestly)

**Chapter Eighteen**

_ You are a brick tied to me that’s dragging me down _

_ Strike a match and I’ll burn you to the ground _

**January 2nd, 1974**

“That’s  _ ridiculous _ ,” Alexia stared, her mouth open in shock. 

“I know, dear,” Dorea sighed, putting the ring back in the box Charlus had taken it from days before. “I wholly agree. We plan to take it to a few curse breakers and enchanters to see if we can get that fixed but truthfully, a hundred years ago, the Potters were generally sexist.”

“Why wouldn’t they want to protect the daughters?” she scoffed angrily. “Even back then, daughters were assets! They were traded for money and shit-,”

“Language, Alexia.”

“So why on earth wouldn’t they want to protect those daughters? That’s  _ ridiculous _ ,” she said, repeating her earlier statement. 

“We completely agree,” Dorea told her calmly. “I’m sorry, Lexi. I wish we had something better than those daggers. You’ve done very well learning to use them, though. Just remember to keep them on you at all times, okay?”

“Yes, mum,” Alexia sighed, following the woman up the stairs. 

“Oh dear,” Dorea gasped, looking at the clock. “We’re going to be late for the train. Kids!” 

“We’re ready, Miss Potter,” Lily assured her, pulling her trunk behind her as they entered the hall. 

“Even Black is ready,” Severus commented, sounding vaguely impressed. Dorea’s eyes narrowed as her foster son entered the room. 

“Sirius Black,” she said loudly. Sirius winced at the sound. “I expressly told you to stay away from the alcohol.”

“How else am I supposed to deal with Walburga?” he asked tiredly. “It’s not like I got it!”

“And who exactly brought it to you?”

Sirius smirked at her. “Sorry, I took an Oath not to say.”

Dorea scoffed. “Alphard.”

“Was Uncle Alphard there? I had no idea.”

“That man is a horrible influence on you,” she shook her head fondly and ruffled his hair. “Come on, children, into the floo.”

The trip to the Hogwarts Express was a quick one and, since they were so late, they said quick goodbyes and got on the train to find their seats. Alexia and Sirius put their things with the rest of the Marauders and then split off. While Sirius went to find Regulus, Alexia searched for Fabian and Gideon, who were all the way at the back of the train. They let her in and kicked out their friends for her, watching as she put up some wards around the compartment for the privacy she’d said they would need. 

“What’s going on, Pip?” Gideon asked her with a frown. “Are you okay?”

She nodded a little and sat across from them. “Yeah, I just have a lot to tell you guys. You know how in my first year, I knew a lot of things I shouldn’t know?”

“Like disillusionment?” 

Alexia hummed. “Yeah, I probably could’ve pretended to not know that.”

“Are you going to tell us your mysterious secret?” Fabian grinned. She nodded seriously and he paused. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah. It has to do with why fighting Lucius was so hard and the whole… Dolohov thing. There are a few reasons I decided to tell you guys, honestly, and one of them is just that I trust you both and it’s driving me crazy to have to few people to talk to because Remus obviously doesn’t want to talk about it and I  _ can’t _ talk to Sirius and-,”

“Slow down,” Gideon suggested. “Start at the beginning, okay? What’s going on?”

“You won’t believe me if I start at the beginning,” she laughed softly. 

“Try us,” Fabian raised an eyebrow. She looked between them and shrugged. 

“Okay. I’m from 1998.”

“Yeah, she’s right,” Gideon snorted. “I don’t believe her, do you?”

“Nope.”

Alexia rolled her eyes and raised her wand. “I, Alexia Potter, do swear on my wand and magic that I’m from 1998 and that my name was Hermione Granger.”

“Ah, shit,” the twins whispered together. 

“Yeah,” she breathed, sitting back. “I know so much because I was nineteen when I was sent back here and de-aged.”

“No, wait,” Gideon shook his head. “It takes decades to master wandless magic and you do it effortlessly.”

“I wasn’t the only one,” she told them truthfully. “I came from the final battle of a war that lasted a very long time. We finally ended it, killed the man responsible for all the death. Then some asshole sent me back in time.” 

“You were in a war?”

“It was shit,” she told them with a small laugh. “We fought from… we were basically fighting since we were eleven, though the war didn’t really come back until 1995. I think that’s the first time I ever fought him really.”

“Who?” Fabian asked her, frowning. 

“Lucius.”

The twins exchanged a dark look and moved to sit on either side of her. 

“I need you to believe me when I say that whatever he does is because he knows his future. He knows it already happened for me which means that it has to happen for him. He’s a good person and he will be a good person in twenty-four years when I go back.”

“Go back?” Gideon frowned at her. “Are you leaving?”

“Not yet,” she shook her head. “In ‘79.”

“So you’re telling us this because-,”

Alexia sighed. “Because you guys aren’t very likely to not ask me about the other day.”

“She’s got a point,” Fabian shrugged. “So you fight Lucius?”

“Yes. I know his future family, too. His son bullied me for years - that doesn’t bother me as much because even before coming here I had a feeling he didn’t belong fighting against us. But he’s just as good of a fighter now as he is in the future. Looking in his eyes, fighting him, it just made everything a little too real.”

“Are you telling me that you want to fight both of us because you’re actually nineteen and way better than either of us?” Gideon stared at her with a grin. “That’s evil.”

“Technically, I’m like… twenty-two? I feel fourteen, though, so… it’s complicated,” she shook her head. “I miss fighting. Dueling. I loved it even before we got into the war. I haven’t really had the chance to do it since coming back here.”

“Okay, well we can certainly duel,” Fabian assured her slowly. “What else is there, Pip?”

Alexia frowned. “Well, we know that Lucius has an entire family in the future that doesn’t involve me.”

“Yep.”

“I also have a soul bond.”

“Oh, shit.”

She rested her head on Gideon’s shoulder and sighed. “It was an accident. We haven’t  _ sealed _ it but we’re aware it’s there and our parents have… plans.”

“Merlin, do your parents know-,”

Alexia nodded quickly. “They know everything. I was placed with the Potters months before my first year. We have a family bond and everything so I’m an official Potter, which is fine with me because Jamie’s son was my best friend.”

“Which we will  _ definitely _ talk about later,” Fabian promised her. “Who are you bonded with, Pip?”

“Sirius.”

The twins exchanged a glance.

“Doesn’t he piss you off a  _ lot _ ?” Gideon questioned. Alexia nodded quickly. 

“Yes. How could he be my soulmate? I yell at him so much that I sometimes forget how to speak normally!”

“Did you know him?”

She quieted and bit her lip. “Yeah, I did. He’s Harry’s godfather. He let me stay with him the summer before fifth year. I stayed with him for a good while before fourth year, too. He taught me a lot, including how to do wandless magic. He… in our fifth year, he died.”

“Oh.”

“Shit.”

“Look, Dumbledore and Lucius aren’t exactly  _ supportive _ but I told him,” she said, pushing her sleeve up to show them the Vow line. Both brothers stilled beside her. “And I get that I shouldn’t have but I can’t just let him die, okay? He’s important to me, he’s important to Harry, and Remus was miserable with his best friend dead.”

“So he knows how to not die,” Fabian said slowly. “If he lives, what is that… going to do?”

Alexia pondered the question. “I’m not certain. There are a few key points of the war that cannot change, so I’m considering warning him about them. There’s an issue with that, though.”

“What’s that?”

“Bond mates cannot sit idly by while their mate is being… hurt,” she said slowly. “And if he did what I assume he’d do if he’d been alive… it would be tough. I don’t want him to get hurt, too.”

“What happened?”

“It’s a long story, but basically, Bellatrix though I’d stolen something vital to the war from her vaults,” Alexia sighed. It still made her incredibly anxious to talk about that day, and she avoided doing so for the most part. Still, she thought maybe she could tell the twins most of what happened or would happen and it was important. “She tortured me for a long time before we were saved by an elf.”

“An elf?”

“Yeah, it’s a long story,” she waved him off. “So he’d either have to listen to that or he’d be hurt, too, and we’d both be punished for not helping the other, right? I’ve read that soul bonds are basically like fealty vows.”

“Sure, but I think you misunderstand fealty vows,” Gideon told her, Fabian nodding along. 

“Fealty vows mean you can never hurt the person you’re vowing it to and you’re meant to protect them to the best of your ability, but they won’t damn you if you’re unable to do so.”

“Yep. As long as you try your best, you’ll be fine. You’re also fine if you don’t know about the danger, to begin with. So Sirius should be fine.”

Alexia sighed again. “The biggest reason I’m telling you guys this is that I didn’t know you in the future, not personally, and I’m desperate to talk to someone whose future isn’t involved. I know the fates of all of my friends except for you two.”

“Spooky,” Fabian winked. “Storytime sounds fun to me, Pip.”

“Me too,” Gideon agreed. 

“Anyway,” she shook her head, thinking about what else she needed to tell them right away. “Let’s see. I’m from the future, I fought Lucius, I have a fucking soul bond with Sirius… do you guys have any burning questions?”

“Who  _ did _ you know?”

“Uh… all of my friends,” she frowned. “I knew of Marlene, Mary, and Dorcas. I met Alice and Frank once. Remus was my third-year DADA professor, something I will  _ never _ let go when I get back. Oh, I knew your sister and her kids. I was pretty close with almost all of them. There were a couple of prats in there. The oldest two are pretty great and her youngest is one of my best friends.”

“Were you just as incredible then as you are now?”

Alexia rolled her eyes but smiled. “I was different. I hated cursing up until the last few months of the war. I  _ loathed _ pranks and gave your nephews a few detentions for testing on first years. I stand by that, actually. Despicable. They paid them, sure, but they were  _ first years _ .”

“Not great business,” Gideon agreed. 

“But what about Dolohov?” Fabian wondered. Alexia paused. 

“In the future, I fought him. He grabbed me during a battle and tried to take me from it and said… some creepy things. Every single major battle I’ve been in, he was there. He was even there when the Snatchers grabbed us to take us to… And the day I left, he called me Alexia, meaning he knew the entire time.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah,” she sighed. “And he’s obviously got an obsession with me here. Last year during the ball, he grabbed me and took me to my room. He hurt me a bit and cast that curse on me. It made James and I feel every bit of pain I’ve ever felt, which is… a lot.”

“That was a lot of screaming,” Gideon muttered softly, staring at her sadly. “What happened?”

“Torture, various battles and curses and other terrible things,” she shrugged absently, unwilling to dwell on that. “Oh, on that note, I have some memory issues because of the curse. If I have extreme emotions come on too quick, I’ll forget where I am. The  _ when _ keeps changing, which is… worrying. Sirius and Remus know how to deal with it and so does Lucius. Just a heads up in case it ever happens around you guys. Just get me out of wherever I am if there’s people around.”

“We can do that.”

“But if Dolohov is such a threat, why not press charges?”

“Because we have to uphold the damn future,” she scowled. “It’s fine. I’ll be fine.”

“If you’re sure.”

“I am. And if you guys don’t have anymore questions, I think I’m going to go find Lucius,” Alexia told them. When both shooed her from the compartment, she laughed and walked down the train to look for her boyfriend. She wasn’t paying attention and walked straight into someone, which she thought was really her luck. “I am so sorry.”

Narcissa pushed her hair over her shoulder and offered her a smile. “It is fine. Alexia Potter, right?”

“Yep,” Alexia smiled, shoving down the annoying jealousy she felt. “I’m surprised we haven’t met yet. Sirius said a couple of years ago that you were at the ball.”

“I was,” Narcissa confirmed. “You and your friends seemed busy. You left early last year as well, didn’t you?”

“I wasn’t feeling well,” Alexia shrugged. 

“I’m glad to see Sirius has found himself good friends,” Narcissa admitted. “You and your brother are good for him. You’re also friends with Regulus, right?”

“I am,” Alexia confirmed, raising an eyebrow. “I thought your family disagreed with Sirius and my family in general.”

“My family hold a lot of beliefs that I do not,” Narcissa told her. “It would be foolish of me to show that to them. I used to be close with Sirius, and so was Andromeda before she ran off.” 

Alexia nodded with a wince. “I heard about Christmas. I’m so sorry.”

“She got out,” Narcissa told her. “I won’t regret that.”

It was true that she’d gotten out, though not in the most painless of ways. Andromeda had shown up at Christmas with a wedding ring and pictures of a baby Tonks, telling the Blacks that she’d married a muggleborn man and had a child. It had been Cygnus who had told Bellatrix to torture her. When she’d refused to annul the marriage and give away Tonks, she’d been disowned by her father. 

“Can I… how was this past summer for Sirius? Do you know?” Alexia asked softly. Narcissa gave her a gentle smile. 

“He is alive, Alexia. He will continue to be so. I greatly appreciate your concern for him. Take care of him, will you?”

“If I can’t, James will,” Alexia assured her softly. She found herself liking Narcissa. She had a clear view of the darkness of her family and apparently, she wasn’t like them. As much as she wanted to hate the girl for someday marrying Lucius, she suddenly wanted to befriend her. “I have to go but perhaps I’ll see you around.”

“Perhaps you will.”

* * *

**January 3rd, 1974**

Alexia gasped at the sight before her and tipped the slinky down the stairs, pushing it ahead with a little bit of magic every time it slowed. It went down three staircases and then four and five before she saw the problem. “No! No, no no, no!” 

And then the staircase pulled away and the slinky fell far to the bottom. 

“ _ Fuck _ !” 

“Merlin,” Severus muttered, coming to stand next to where she kneeled in front of the stairs. “I don’t know what you five are doing but you need to take a break, Lexi.”

“I have to get this,” she scowled, waving her hand absently at the pile of twisted slinkys far below them, levitating them all up to her. “We worked on it together for a while but it’s a race now and I almost have it, Sev.”

“Tell me what exactly it is,” he requested. She hummed while untangling the slinkys. 

“Can’t, it’s a secret.”

“This is all a prank, isn’t it?”

Alexia looked up at her scowling friend and laughed. “Relax, Sev. It’s not really a prank. It won’t hurt anyone and once it’s finished, everyone will get to class on time a lot easier.” 

“Right,” Severus rolled his eyes and walked around her, making his way down the stairs. Alexia focused back on the mess in front of her, spelling them back to their original shape and leaning against the railing to rest her back. She’d been working for a full three hours already and needed it to work. The entire thing was driving them all crazy and she had an intense need to be the first one to get it. 

When she’d gotten halfway through the pile, she felt something shift and frowned a little. She was going to ignore it but wasn’t given the option. The staircase she’d been leaning against moved to the left abruptly and she felt herself be thrown down. It was only her war instincts that got her hands out in front of her at the last moment, screaming the only two words she could think of. 

“ _ Arresto Momentum _ !” 

She was slowed barely in time, though she still hit the stone floor hard. Her head bounced with the impact and she passed out immediately, not even awake long enough to feel the pain.

* * *

“You four are such assholes!” Lily screamed, stomping into the common room with tears streaming down her cheeks. The Marauders, sans Alexia, all looked up, far too aware she was talking about them. 

“We didn’t do anything!” Sirius threw his hands up. “We literally have no pranks in progress!” 

“Yes, you do!” Lily snapped, her anger and fear mixing to form one confused, powerful emotion. “Whatever you’re doing with the staircases! I can’t imagine how you all thought it was a good idea!”

“That’s harmless!” James shouted, confused. “No one will get hurt, Evans! Why the hell are you shouting at us? We haven’t even touched it since before break.”

“No, but Alexia did.”

Remus shot to his feet. “I was right.  _ I was right _ . She’s hurt!” 

“Yes!” Lily shouted angrily, more tears falling. “And Professor McGonagall has to stay with her and Mr and Mrs Potter so she sent me to tell you guys.”

“Well, why did  _ you _ know?” James asked, angry that he hadn’t been told first. “I’m her twin!”

“Because Severus saw her fall down  _ nine flights of stairs _ . She’d be dead if she hadn’t caught herself in time!” 

“Holy shit,” Sirius breathed, grabbing the chair for support. 

“Alexia has an infuriating ability to be hurt every two minutes,” Remus said, rubbing his face tiredly. “Can we go see her? How bad is it?”

“She’s got a bad concussion and some weird memory loss,” Lily shrugged. “She called me Ginny or something.”

“Ah, shit,” Sirius looked at Remus. “We should go.”

“Yeah, go,” James agreed reluctantly. “We’ll be down in a few minutes.”

“What? I just said you can’t-,”

“Yeah, thanks for telling us, Evans,” Sirius muttered, slipping past her to run out of the common room with Remus. The two sped down the stairs until they entered the infirmary, ignoring Madame Pomfrey. Alexia was sitting on a bed alone, shaking. 

“Shit,” Remus winced, walking over to her. “Alex?”

“R-Remus?” she gasped, her mouth falling open. “Are you okay? You were hurt earlier and I healed it but I never asked what you were hit with so I’m not sure if I got it all and… I’m confused. My hip is fine.”

“Your… hip? I’m fine. What happened to your hip?”

“I got hurt?” she frowned at him. She hadn’t bothered looking at Sirius yet so he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to be alive. “Remember? Dolohov cursed me-,”

“Fuck,” Sirius hissed angrily. 

“-and you pushed me out of the way. I owe you a life debt?” she shook her head. “We talked about all of this on the Astronomy Tower. Now I wake up with a head injury? Did I fall off or something?”

“No,” Remus shook his head. “What has Madame Pomfrey told you?”

“She said I’m confused,” Alexia scowled. “She won’t listen to me or tell me anything about Harry or Ron or even Bill, which is unfair because I know the symptoms can be the worst after first being scratched but I was hoping since Greyback scratched him on a night that isn’t the full moon, he’ll be fine.” 

“Okay, slow down there, kitten,” Sirius told her, finally gathering her attention. She frowned at him and looked back at Remus. 

“She said I have a head injury. Am I seeing the dead now?”

“No,” Remus let out a nervous laugh. “You’re in the past, Hermione. Look at us, we’re thirteen.” 

Alexia looked between them with a deep, confused frown. “Oh my god. And you  _ know _ that I’m from the future?”

“Yep,” Sirius nodded, taking a seat next to her bed. She blinked in surprise when he took her hand. “I found out on accident and so did Moony. You told Luc-,”

“Sirius,” Remus interrupted sharply. “It doesn’t matter. We found out on accident and we’re not going to say anything to anyone.”

“But why can’t I remember?” she asked them quietly, unknowingly squeezing Sirius’s hand as he stroked hers absently. “What happened?”

“Uh, I think that’s our fault,” Sirius admitted. “We were handling a prank and we didn’t realize that there was a good chance one of us could fall… pretty far. We decided to make it a contest to see who could figure it out first and you were working on it alone when you sort of… fell down nine flights of stairs.”

“I  _ what _ ?” Alexia gasped, her mouth hanging open in shock. “ _ None _ of that sounds like me! Pranks? Are you sure?”

“You don’t like pranks?” Sirius asked her, horrified. She shook her head and Remus decided to take over. 

“Lily says you managed to stop your fall but you hit your head pretty bad and there was some expected amnesia,” Remus told her calmly. “I’m sure James will be down soon.”

Alexia paused, taking in the names he’d just casually listed of. “James and Lily Potter?”

“You’re fucking kidding me,” Sirius laughed. “ _ James and Lily Potter _ ?”

“Oh,” Alexia winced. “I’m sorry, I’m just… confused.”

“You were sent to the Potters when you got here,” Remus told her calmly. “You befriended Lily when you got to school. Apparently Severus saw you falling-,”

“ _ Snape _ ?”

“Er, yeah. He got Lily and they took you here and then Lily stormed into the common room to scream at us before bothering to explain what had happened or even that you were hurt.”

“Moony, maybe we can get to the-,”

“Yeah,” Remus shook his head. “If you want to remember, you just need to take a deep breath and try to calm down.”

“ _ Calm down _ ?” Alexia scoffed. “You’ve just told me that I’m in the past, I was pranking, I fell down nine flights of stairs and lived, and that James Potter is my brother and you want me to  _ calm down _ ? You bloody calm down!” 

“Er- I am calm.”

“Oh for Merlin’s sake,” Sirius scowled. “If she doesn’t remember who she is by the time James gets here, she’s going to start calling him Harry again and he  _ obviously _ knows there’s something weird about that.”

“I know, but we don’t have any other way to-,”

Sirius shot to his feet and walked over to touch his lips to Alexia’s. She relaxed for only a moment when their bond sparked, letting her memories loose. She passed out and when she woke up again, Sirius and Remus were arguing. 

“Sirius!” She shouted angrily, her hair already sparking. “You fucking arsehole!” 

“Lex?” James called as he entered the room. “What happened? What did he do?”

“He kissed me!” 

“Oh, shit,” Remus winced, sighting the rest of her friends and her boyfriend behind James. 

“You  _ kissed  _ her?”

“I couldn’t fucking remember anything so his solution was to not try at all and fucking kiss me! When he  _ promised _ me he wouldn’t do that!”

“Alexia,” Lucius said, reaching her side. He wrapped an arm around her and she huffed, leaning into him. “You have every right to be furious, but be careful. Try to calm down.”

“Lucius, I am absolutely fucking sick of people deciding what they can do to me,” she told him. “I have experience in this and I refuse to let Sirius touch me without my express permission!” 

“I wholly agree,” he promised, his dark eyes proving to her that he, too, was furious. “But you cannot change what he has already done. Neither can he.”

Alexia’s eyes shot to Sirius, who was frowning at her in concern and regret. “I guess we can’t, can we?”

“Ash-,”

“Go away, Sirius,” she sighed, waving her hand at him. “Actually, everyone but Jamie and Lucius, go away.”

“Feel better, Ash,” Remus sighed, shoving Sirius and the rest of her friends out of the doors. When they were gone, she got back into bed and threw her head back, closing her eyes. 

“I can’t believe he would do that,” she muttered. “He did it once last year when it was  _ really _ bad and basically the only option and then he swore to me he wouldn’t do it again. Why the fuck do I have to be bonded to  _ him _ ?”

“I’m going to fucking kill him,” James growled angrily. “Are you okay, Lex?”

“It hurts,” she answered quietly, waving to her head. 

“Perhaps you should sleep,” Lucius suggested softly. Alexia opened her eyes to look at him and nodded after a moment. 

“Okay, but you guys will come back later, right?”

“I won’t leave,” James scoffed, offended that she thought he would.

“The second you wake, I will be here,” Lucius assured her. She nodded again and let James pull the blanket over her and closed her eyes. When she relaxed, Lucius turned and stormed out of the infirmary without another word, making his way furiously down to the dungeons. His plan had been to go hex a few walls in his dorms, but his eyes fell on Severus and Regulus sitting together and he made his way over to them instead. 

“What is it?” Severus asked him warily. “What did she do?”

“Alexia did nothing,” he answered, letting his fury show. The two boys in front of him had the angering ability to read him easily, so keeping his mask up was pointless. “It is what Sirius did.”

“Merlin,” Regulus breathed, suddenly looking very tired. “What did he do?”

“You are both aware that when Alexia gets too emotional too quickly, she has memory loss because of the curse Dolohov hit her with?” At their nods, he felt his lips thin. “She forgot where she was, who we were. Sirius apparently decided to speed up the process of calming her down by  _ kissing  _ her.”

The boys exchanged an angry glance. 

“Why the hell would that calm her down?” Regulus asked sharply. Lucius paused. 

“I believe he was hoping to distract her,” he answered smoothly. “It worked, but she is furious and so am I. Apparently, he has done this before. She has experienced something like this before and Sirius decided to kiss her while she was vulnerable anyway.”

“Regulus,” Narcissa interrupted, frowning deeply. “What happened?”

“It’s nothing,” Regulus grit out, his eyes on Lucius. “Where is she now?”

“She is sleeping,” Lucius replied. 

“What did Sirius do?” Narcissa asked, firmly this time. 

“He just fucked up with Alexia,” Regulus told his cousin tiredly. “He kissed her.”

Narcissa looked to Lucius curiously. “Is Alexia not your-,”

“Yes, she is.”

Narcissa’s eyes flashed. “I see. Well, if you will excuse me, I have a cousin to speak to.”

“Narcissa-,”

Narcissa ignored her youngest cousin and swiftly left the common room to go find Sirius. It wasn’t as difficult as she’d expected because he was pouting in a hall near Gryffindor Tower. Her eyes sharpened on him and she straightened. “Sirius.”

“Not now, Cissa,” Sirius sighed, pushing off of the wall he was leaning against.

“Sirius Orion, come back here,” Narcissa snapped. The boy paused, turning to her and blinking.

“Merlin, you’re scarier than Walburga.”

Narcissa stepped over to him, getting closer than he was necessarily comfortable with. “You need good friends, Sirius. You  _ need _ people who will support you because you have picked the most difficult path for your life. You will be in pain for years, mental and physical, and you need people to support you through that. You found those people. So do  _ not _ mess it up by  _ kissing a girl that does not want to be kissed _ .”

Sirius’s face fell. “I know I fucked up, Cissa. I wanted to help her and I didn’t know how else to calm her down. I broke my promise to never kiss her until she asks me to. I know.”

“You forget that your Gryffindor friends are not her only friends,” she reminded her cousin. “She is dating a Slytherin and friends with even more. Whatever you get for this is what you deserve. You know better than to touch a woman without permission.”

“I know.” 

“You need to grow up and become the person you are supposed to be,” Narcissa frowned at him. When he got defensive, she put up a hand to stop him. “I am not telling you to hate muggleborns, Sirius. I am only telling you to act like you were raised a pureblood. You were raised knowing how to respect the people around you even if you want to destroy them. You might have chosen Gryffindor but I know you are a Slytherin at heart, cousin. Act it.”

Sirius stared at her, silent and stiff, as she looked him over and then turned to walk away, head held high and shoulders back the way she had been taught at such a young age. 

Maybe she was right. Maybe she wasn’t. Sirius only knew he needed to figure out how to fix what he’d fucked up. 

* * *

**January 5th, 1974**

“Good news!” 

The students all looked up from their essays they’d been told to write until Professor Wright came back. The woman grinned at them brightly. 

“Our special lesson is here. I was hoping we’d catch it today. Go on and put your things away. We’re heading to the Potions room- rather the sideroom, but you get my point. Hurry up!” 

The Marauders all exchanged a glance. Instead of going with her friends and brother, Alexia made her way over to Lily and Severus and talked softly with them on the way down the many flights of stairs. The class was told to be quiet and were led through the fourth year class, who were brewing. Alexia smiled at her boyfriend and walked past him, though Narcissa grabbed her arm gently. 

“Narcissa?”

“I only wanted to make sure you are okay,” the girl explained with a smile, her blonde and black hair tied up to keep it out of the way. “I heard about your fall.”

Alexia rolled her eyes. “Yeah. It was my fault, really. I should’ve made sure I couldn’t fall. Next time.”

“Perhaps we could take a walk after classes and talk.”

“Uh… sure? I have to go before Slughorn yells at me,” Alexia nodded at the man who was eyeing her warily. “I’ll find you later.”

“Potter,” Wright called. “Hurry up.” 

Alexia slipped through the rest of the room and into the backroom, one that she hadn’t even realized was there. It was filled with tables pushed off to the side that held cauldrons with stasis spells on them. In the middle of the room was a violently shaking wardrobe. 

A boggart.

James grabbed her and pulled her to the back of the room with the rest of the Marauders. He shoved her between him and Remus when their professor told them to get in line. They were quickly taught the charm to get rid of the creatures and Alexia gripped her wand in her hand, her heart racing. 

Elora Zabini went first. When the wardrobe was opened, a clown jumped out, much to everyone’s surprise. 

“What the hell is that?” Peter wondered. 

“It’s a clown,” Remus answered him. “It’s a muggle thing. Lots of kids are afraid of them.”

“ _ Riddikulus _ !” 

The clown morphed into an image of the man in what looked like Morticia Addams’ outfit. It was, admittedly, hilarious to look at. Elora stepped out of line and it kept moving. Next up was Lily, who saw an image of her sister with magic, hexing her. It was hard to look at and it took the girl a minute to cast the required charm before she rushed out of the line. After her was another Slytherin, then three Gryffindors, then Severus, who just stepped out of line. When everyone but the Marauders had gone, James looked between them and shoved Peter forward, who shot him a dirty look. The boggart shifted into… a cat. The sight made a terrified Alexia laugh, earning herself a glare from the boy in question. He turned it into a stuffed cat and stepped to the side. 

Next up was Remus, who bit his lip and moved up to the boggart. The thing shifted into the moon and Remus winced, raising his wand shakily. “ _ Riddikulus _ !” The moon turned into a balloon that began deflating, just like it had twenty years in the future. 

Which left James, Sirius, and Alexia. 

All three of them refused to step forward. 

“Who is up next?” Wright asked, trying to get them to move. 

“Ma’am, I’m not comfortable doing this in class,” James admitted. “None of us are. Can we just… do it after everyone leaves?”

Professor Wright looked at the fear on each of their faces and nodded shortly. “Class is dismissed. Please finish the essays you were writing earlier and turn them in tomorrow.”

It was only when the entire class had filed out that the three kids and the professor were left. She turned to them expectantly. 

“Do you think you could put up some silencing wards?” James asked her shakily. “I already know what mine is going to be and we don’t want to interrupt Slughorn.”

Wright eyed him but did as he asked, watching as he carefully removed Alexia’s hand from his arm. Though she was still upset with him, she gripped onto Sirius instead and watched her brother approach the wardrobe. He hesitated and turned to look at his friend and sister.

“I don’t think they should be here.”

“Mister Potter, please. It only takes a moment.”

“I know, but it’s just that they-,”

“Please approach the wardrobe.”

James met Alexia’s eyes sadly. “I’m sorry, Lex. Close your eyes, maybe.” She frowned in confusion and continued to watch him move to the wardrobe. It flew open again and the first thing they heard was her screams. He winced and raised his wand but just as he was about to use the charm, it shifted into what he’d been afraid of. 

It was the sight of a thirteen-year-old Hermione on the ground, being held down by the two boys above her. Alexia gasped, suddenly feeling horribly sick. 

“Oh my god,” she whispered. Sirius pulled her around and she buried her face into his chest, shaking.

“ _ Riddikulus _ !” Wright shouted loudly. She’d jumped in front of James and it had changed into a man, who was turned pink and given a tail. There was a horrible silence when the boggart was shoved back into the wardrobe and all three kids ignored their professor. James rushed over to Alexia and pulled her into a hug, letting Sirius hug her as well. 

“I’m sorry, Lex,” he whispered. “I’m sorry. I haven’t seen as many shitty things as you and seeing you hurt is the most terrifying thing I could ever see. Seeing you hurt like that-,”

“Miss Potter,” Wright interrupted. “Are you-,”

“I’m fine,” Alexia bit out, wiping tears from her eyes as she pulled away from James and Sirius and to the door. “I need to go.”

“We need to talk about-,”

She ignored the woman and threw the door open, running from the potions room while wiping tears from her blurry eyes. 

* * *

“Let go of me!” Sirius yelled, smacking James’s hand. The other boy only let go of him when they got to their thankfully empty dorm room. “What the hell, Prongs? What was that?”

“Shut up,” James snapped, grabbing his head anxiously. “Oh, shit. Shit.”

“James, explain!” 

“Okay!” James sat on his trunk at the end of his bed and sucked in a deep breath. “You remember last year how Lex started avoiding me because I’d seen a memory she didn’t want me to see?”

“Yeah? What-  _ oh _ ,” Sirius frowned deeply. “But she was- that was what Mum told us about.”

“I know,” James sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “But remember how when I mentioned it after Christmas last year she got really upset and left?”

“Yeah,” Sirius sat down next to his friend and shook his head. “Shit. It just… it doesn’t seem like something that would’ve happened to her, you know?”

“It’s terrifying,” James agreed shakily. “I’ve got the entire thing in my head and it’s all distant because it’s not my memory. That’s what mum said, at least. I can’t imagine what it’s like to her.”

“You haven’t asked her?”

“Merlin, no.”

“ _ Why _ ?”

“She doesn’t want me to, Pads. She thinks it makes her weak, that’s why she was avoiding me. And you  _ definitely _ can’t say anything.”

“Okay.”

James looked at Sirius, his eyes narrowing. “I mean it. You can’t mention it, Sirius. I know she’s fucked up, okay, but this is worse than whatever she went through in the war, I can feel it… maybe not worse, but different in a way that I don’t think she knows how to handle.”

“Okay,” Sirius nodded. “I won’t, I swear.”

* * *

“It was a boggart,” Alexia said softly. Once she’d left the dungeons, she’d grabbed the cloak and map and a blanket and ran outside where she’d put up a ton of warming charms around the tree by the black lake and had laid there since. While personal elves weren’t allowed in the castle, she’d refused to go to lunch so she’d called Mipsy for food instead, as well as a calming draught and the potions she’d missed. 

Lucius sat down with her quietly and she put her head in his lap, letting him stroke her hair. He’d seen her run out of the potions room crying, of course, and had heard Professor Wright yell at Sirius for abandoning the boggart before he had a chance to see it. It had been fairly easy to guess what had happened. “What did you see?”

“It wasn’t mine,” she told him. “It was Jamie’s. When Dolohov triggered the curse, he saw when I was… attacked in my original third year. That’s why I kept avoiding him. And that’s apparently his worst fear. And now Sirius has seen it, too.”

“I can Obliviate him.”

Alexia let out a startled laugh. “I can’t even tell if you’re joking.”

“Neither can I,” Lucius admitted with a small smile. “I would do a lot for you, Alexia.”

“It’s okay,” she shook her head. “As much as I didn’t want him to know, I think he understands now why kissing me upset me so much.”

Lucius hummed in response and she frowned at him. 

“You’re still mad.”

“One of your best friends kissed you when you were unable to tell him if you wanted him to,” Lucius stared down at her, his eyes darkening. “And you obviously did not want him to. He should have known that. He should have respected you enough to not touch you. Believe it or not, most purebloods are given lessons on consent from a rather young age. I understand that he wants to rebel, but that is one rule that no rebelling pureblood should dare to shed.”

Alexia sighed and thread their fingers together. “I know. I think I need to talk to him. He seems to be taking our bond as an eventuality when it doesn’t guarantee anything if he’s going to treat me like shit.”

“Please be safe,” he requested, pushing some hair behind her ear with a worried smile. Alexia stared up at his eyes for a long minute before she sat up on her knees and looked into his eyes, biting her lip. “Alexia?”

“I love you.”

Lucius paused, staring back at her. Could he allow himself to love her? Even if they would be forced to part in only a few years? He supposed it didn’t matter, since he couldn’t control what he felt. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. “I love you, Alexia.”

* * *

**January 6th, 1974**

James raced down the stairs with Sirius and dove at the edge of the step to catch the slinky. He grunted in pain but grinned victoriously and lifted it up high. “Got it!”

“Thank  _ god _ ,” Alexia called from two floors up. “Mum’s gonna cut us off if we buy anymore of them. Or possibly give us a stern conversation on smart spending. Maybe both.”

“You messed it up,” James smacked Sirius as they walked back up the stairs. “I  _ told you _ not to let it go. The right shift doesn’t happen for another ten minutes.”

“No, I had an idea though,” Sirius sighed, taking the metal toy from his friend. “I think we’re looking at this the entirely wrong way.”

“How so?” Remus asked, resting his head in his hands tiredly. 

“Yeah, we’ve tried just about everything,” Peter agreed. “Even making it a competition didn’t work.”

“Look, we’re trying to find a time when all of the staircases stay in the same place long enough for this slinky to go down all of them, right?”

“Yes, and?”

“Well I think we need to find a way to get it down without worrying that they’re  _ all _ still. I think the shifting might help us.”

“Wait, you’re suggesting we totally abandon this and try to work out the common theme of when they move and rely on them moving instead of being still?” James summarized. Sirius nodded excitedly. 

“That’s… smart!” Alexia exclaimed. “Brilliant, actually!”

“Try to sound less surprised,” Sirius pouted. 

“Great. More work. I’ll get started on comparing the notes of their times, but at least it means less time sitting on the staircases,” Remus shrugged and got to his feet. “James, Pete, and I have a thing, so…”

“What thing?” James questioned curiously. Remus rolled his eyes and tugged him and Peter away from Alexia and Sirius, giving them some not so subtle alone time. Alexia stayed on the floor and began gathering their things, shrinking the slinkys and stuffing them into her beaded bag with the parchment that held their notes. 

“Hey, I was hoping we could talk,” Sirius said after an awkward minute of silence. 

“Me too,” she agreed softly. When she reached up, he took her hand and helped her to her feet. “Let’s get somewhere private.”

“Um, okay.”

He followed her through the halls to the Room of Requirement. She made the room quickly and when he walked in, he raised an eyebrow at the practice room. 

“What is this place?”

“It’s where we used to teach kids to fight,” she told him quietly, wandering over to the mirror in the back right corner. “Our DA. The safest place for us in fifth year. Maybe after that, too. I think it got destroyed in the war. The Room, that is. It’s the first thing I plan to rebuild.”

“Ash- wait, what is that?”

Alexia smiled softly down at the picture in her hands. When she touched it, though, a piece of magic fell off and she gasped. “Oh my god. That’s  _ me _ .”

“Shit, I’m in it, too,” Sirius stared over her shoulder. She nodded shakily. 

“You gave this picture to Harry before fifth year. He put it up in this room for inspiration. It’s a group called the Order of the Phoenix,” she explained, raising her sleeve enough to show him the small Phoenix marked into her arm. “They fought the war the first time and the second time. You gave me my mark.”

“I did?”

“There was an oath that all Order members took not to talk about Order business with anyone that didn’t have the mark. I was underage but staying with you so you gave it to me when I had a panic attack worrying about what was happening so you could tell me. Go ahead, check it. That’s your magical signature.”

Sirius waved his wand quietly over it and shook his head in surprise when he found she was right. 

“You were so kind to me, Sirius. You spoke to me when I needed it, you were passive company if I needed that. You would turn into Padfoot and sit with me if I had nightmares. You were so kind and respectful. It  _ hurt _ when you died. It felt like my fault because I couldn’t get to you. If I had then maybe you wouldn’t have… it doesn’t matter.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

Alexia looked in his eyes, searching them for something that wasn’t there yet. “I told you about… about the memory Jamie saw, his worst fear. Not when it happened but when we were writing over the summer following that year. I told you how since then I was terrified to be touched by anyone but I couldn’t show that because Harry had his own problems and Ron is an asshole. I only told Ginny and she helped me make sure I wasn’t- make sure I was okay. I told you that it gave me nightmares and I had flashbacks and you told me something about you in return. When I asked why, you said that we’d be vulnerable together. That we’re alike in that we hate being vulnerable so we could always do it together. 

“So that’s what I’m doing. I’m being honest because I trusted you in the future and I trust you now. You terrified me, Sirius. Being touched is always hard. I was scared and confused and I still trusted you because I’ve  _ always _ trusted you and you kissed me. It wasn’t okay. But I still fucking trust you. Do you know how hard that is? I’m angry and so hurt but I still love you and I still trust you.”

“Alexia, I’m-,”

“No, hold on. There’s more. You act like this bond makes us inevitable but it just  _ doesn’t. _ If we end up together it will be because we both decided that and not because it seemed like what was supposed to happen. It will be because we will love each other furiously and unapologetically. That’s not where we’re at right now. Please, I need you to understand that.”

“I fucked up,” Sirius told her softly. “I’m not going to try to excuse it. I can only swear to never do it again. I don’t… I regret seeing that memory, not because it was horrible but because you didn’t want me to see it. And I know… I can’t just assume you’ll want to be with me someday. I promise I’ll pull my head out of my ass and start being a real friend again.”

Alexia met his eyes for a long minute before she nodded in relief and hugged him. He squeezed her back, grateful she’d forgiven him. 

“So I have a question,” he said after she pulled back to look down at the picture in her hands again. “Do you have that because you made this room from memory?”

“No, actually,” she shrugged. “Most magic sort of exists outside of time, but none more than this room. I asked for the room we practiced defense in and was given this room. I’m sure that if I asked it for the destroyed version it would- oh.”

“What?”

“I can repair it  _ here _ . I don’t have to wait to go back to the future.”

“Well what happened to destroy it?”

Alexia paused as she remembered the terrifying ride on the broken brooms through the room. “Some Death Eaters, kids I went to school with, they followed us into the Room when we were trying to retrieve and destroy something that we needed to end the war. Eventually one of them…” she paused, shivering as she pictured him perfectly in her mind, cursing her perfect memory. “He cast Fiendfyre.”

“Oh, shit.”

She nodded a little. “He must’ve had some semblance of control over it, practice, because it didn’t kill us. It stayed in the room when we closed the doors. Thankfully, he died.”

“Shit, kitten, that’s dark,” Sirius told her, reminding her that normal teenagers didn’t wish for the death of others. 

“No, it’s- he-,” she shook her head a little. How could she tell him that it was Crabbe and Goyle that he’d seen hurting her in James’s boggart? She didn’t know what of the future would change. Would he encounter them? She hadn’t told him who had done it before and he hadn’t pushed. Was it because he already knew? And if so, did that mean he would die anyway?

“Ash?” Sirius frowned, touching her arm. She blinked in surprise and shook her head. 

“Sorry. My mind sort of… spiraled for a minute. I’m okay.”

“Okay, well, do you wanna sneak into the kitchens and get dessert?”

Alexia laughed and nodded. “Sure, Sirius. Let’s go.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I'd mention that the ENTIRE time I wrote this story, I imagined her with glasses. Did I ever mention she had glasses? No, absolutely not. I had to tack it on in a multiverse later on (that I haven't posted anywhere yet) so she can be seen how I imagine her.


	19. Equilibrium

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Lily are cute except the end of the chapter, when what you would expect to happen, happens.

**Chapter Nineteen**

_ There is a war inside my heart gone silent _

_ Both sides dissatisfied and somewhat violent _

_ The issue I have now begun to see _

_ I am the only, lonely casualty _

**January 19th, 1974**

“Where are we going?” Peter asked with a frown, following Alexia through the dark hallways. “Lexi, I don’t like this.”

“Relax, we’re fine,” she waved him off. “But be quiet. We shouldn’t run into anyone but there is a prefect down the hall.” Peter made a face and quieted down as they approached the kitchen. She tickled the pear and backed up to shove him into the large room. 

“Happy birthday!” The Marauders called together after they removed the disillusionment. 

“What?” Peter blinked at them in confusion. 

“Well, we were thinking,” Sirius said, guiding him over to the large table of snacks and presents. “Your birthday is in the middle of summer so we don’t exactly get to celebrate it, so we thought we’d do it during the year sometime. Now is as good a time as any.”

“Yeah!” James agreed with a grin. “So sit down because we’ve got lots of cake. The elves were a bit excited.”

“O-okay,” Peter agreed hastily, letting their two most outgoing friends lead him to his seat. Alexia handed the map over to Remus as he wrapped an arm around her and stood behind their friend. 

“Open mine first,” James grinned, handing his gift over. It was horribly wrapped, a sign he’d done it himself. Peter took the gift from him and shook it a little curiously before opening it and looking inside the box. 

“ _ Merlin _ ,” Peter gasped. He took the small, golden and red statue out of the box. It was a statue of the five of them in their animagus forms, Remus in his wolf form. The wolf was on the left with the fox to his right. Next to her was a grim, and next to him was a proud stag. On the stag’s shoulder was a rat. “This is incredible, Prongs.”

“It was Ash’s idea,” he admitted. “I got you some other stuff, too, but she suggested something  _ emotional _ , so I did both.”

“It’s great,” Peter grinned, setting it carefully back into the box. He unwrapped the rest of James’s gifts which consisted entirely of prank items and candy. They moved on and he opened Remus’s, frowning down at the pieces of parchment. 

“Each of those is two hours of tutoring,” the werewolf explained. 

Peter smiled softly and slipped them into his pockets. “Thanks, Moony.”

Sirius’s gift was an expensive cologne that he swore would make the girls like him more. After promising Alexia it wasn’t any form of a love potion, Sirius was officially allowed to give it to his friend.

When no gifts were left, everyone looked at Alexia.

“What the hell, Lex?” James frowned. 

“Relax,” she rolled her eyes. “My gift is a bit more like Moony’s. I will help you with any five pranks you get stuck on as long as they follow our rules. I also will help you learn any ten spells you want to, no matter how what they are.” 

“Holy shit,” Sirius cursed. “That’s better than Remus’s!” 

“Shut up,” Remus rolled his eyes. Peter got to his feet and hugged her tightly. 

“Thanks, Ash. Thank you guys,” he smiled brightly and hugged all of them. 

“Now that that’s over with,” James grinned. “Cake!” 

* * *

**February 3rd, 1974**

Emmaline screamed and ducked down to avoid the curse as it flew past her and hit Snape. Alexia looked at the scene and cursed loudly and ran to her friend to help heal him up. Once Lily got to him, she turned on her heal and stalked over to her laughing brother, her hair sparking madly. 

“James Charlus Potter!” Alexia shouted angrily, turning red. They had been walking from potions to transfiguration when he’d apparently decided to have a little fun. 

“Lex, relax,” James sighed, rolling his eyes. “Why do you have to ruin our fun every time?”

“By  _ fun _ do you mean hexing my friends?” she spat, poking his chest angrily. “Stop being such a prick! Severus is doing  _ nothing _ to you!” 

“No, he’s right, Ash,” Sirius agreed, making a face at her. “You’re too high strung. Just chill.”

“You did  _ not _ just tell me to chill,” she snarled. Before she could raise her wand at him, a hand grabbed her wrist. She spun and had her other hand up, ready to hit whoever had grabbed her, but they immediately blocked the hit coming with their arm. The sight of familiar blonde hair made her pause, though she did glare darkly. “Let me go, Lucius.”

“Severus is fine,” he assured her, glaring at her brother and friend to get them to leave as quickly as possible. “Calm down, Alexia.”

“The next person to tell me to calm down is getting hexed,” she snapped as James and Sirius rushed down the hall away from her. Her temper was still rising quite clearly. “They can’t just bully him like that!” 

“I know,” he assured her. “So write your mother. She’s more terrifying to them than anything.”

“You’re right,” she admitted slowly before pausing. “What are you doing up here?”

“Professor McGonagall got called away for an emergency. The end of our class was canceled and so was yours, I suspect. I was looking for you.”

“Oh,” she blinked, her frown turning to a soft smile. “Well, it seems I have a free period.”

Lucius wrapped his arms around her gently and kissed her forehead. “I was hoping to get some time with you. You seem to be quite busy lately.”

Alexia blushed. “Sirius had an idea that really, we should have figured out before. We’ve all spent a lot of time recalculating. We’re trying to get this done before the end of the year. Plus, McGonagall keeps giving me detention for breathing.”

“Breathing and possibly your pranks,” Narcissa smiled as she walked up to them. Lucius dropped his arms, though he did take Alexia’s hand. “I’m sorry for interrupting.”

“Oh no,” Alexia gasped. “Oh, shit. I totally forgot. We planned to talk. It was such a bad day, and then Sirius and I made up and-,”

“It is alright,” Narcissa laughed softly. “I, like Lucius, thought I would find you since you have a free period. It seems I’m a little late. Perhaps tomorrow.”

“No, no,” Alexia shook her head. “I was hoping to steal Lucius for dinner so you can stay if you’d like. We’ll have time later.”

“Are you sure?” Narcissa asked, this time looking to Lucius. He nodded.

“I do not mind at all.”

“Well, if that’s the case, let’s keep walking before my friends and brother come back this way,” Alexia suggested, turning to walk with them. Narcissa, like a good pureblood girl, came to walk on Alexia’s other side. 

“You said you made up with Sirius,” the other girl commented. “I had hoped he would apologize.”

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Alexia sighed. “What he did isn’t fine but he apologized and I explained why it bothered me so much. We’re fine now.” 

“I’m glad. He’s a good person,” Narcissa smiled softly. “I do worry for the direction of my family, but he refuses to follow.”

“He’s too stubborn,” Alexia rolled her eyes. 

“I cannot imagine him doing anything he doesn’t want to,” Lucius agreed softly. 

“Your family is a wonderful influence,” Narcissa told Alexia. “With what’s happening in the world, we all need people like you.”

“Yeah,” Alexia agreed softly. She knew what Narcissa meant. Voldemort was actively recruiting now. She only knew because of her father, who would write her and tell her what was happening and because Sirius had told her as much. “How are you handling that?”

“I keep my head down,” she said slowly. “I am lucky for being the youngest. Bella, however…”

“She’s joined him, hasn’t she?” Alexia asked softly, gripping Lucius’s hand a little tighter. 

“She has, just last month. Mother and Father believe I should follow her lead.”

“You don’t have to,” Alexia told her seriously. Narcissa forced a smile on her face and looked between the couple. 

“Have you written up a contract yet?”

“We have not,” Lucius answered. “We are just enjoying our time together.”

“You aren’t courting?”

“My family doesn’t really do the whole courting thing,” Alexia explained. “We think it’s outdated. I’m not being sold, I just love him. I don’t want my eventual marriage to be business, I want it to be because I love someone so much that I want to spend the rest of my life with them.”

Narcissa looked at her curiously. “That is very interesting. I knew the Potters did not agree with the old ways but I did not realize you wouldn’t be courting. Is it the same with James?”

“Honestly, I don’t even think he knows girls exist yet,” Alexia rolled her eyes. “The only time he’s ever noticed a girl was in our first year when he met Lily, and he hasn’t said or done anything since then.”

“He has quite the shock coming,” Narcissa laughed. “What does he think you are?”

“Honestly? Just a weird, bossy person that yells at him for doing things that he thinks are totally okay,” Alexia scowled. “I think he knows that I’m a girl now that I’m dating Lucius because he’s suddenly  _ very _ protective.”

“Another reason I am glad I have no brothers,” Narcissa laughed.

Alexia paused as they reached the stairs, staring at the sight before her with increasing fury. Sirius stood with Peter above a staircase and shoved a slinky down the stairs. When it got down five staircases without fault, Alexia’s hair began sparking, startling Narcissa. It finally hit the bottom and she clenched her fists. 

“Alexia-,”

“Sirius! Peter!” Alexia shouted. Both boys looked up at her in surprise. “You absolute  _ twats _ !” 

“Oh,  _ shit _ ,” Sirius cursed. “I swear we tried to find you!” 

“What is happening?” Narcissa asked Lucius who sighed. 

“It is a project she and her friends have been working on for months. Sirius and Peter apparently decided to work on it alone.”

“How the fuck did you two figure it out?” she snapped, rushing down the stairs to meet them. 

“Only these seven!” Peter promised. “We don’t know how to match it up to the rest. It’s just that we realized that we hadn’t been able to watch any of them while we’re in class, so we came and saw an opportunity, so-,”

“So what he’s saying is that we aren’t finished,” Sirius promised her in a hurry. “Relax, Ash.”

Alexia’s mouth dropped open for a moment before she pouted. “But that means we need to start skipping classes!” 

“Yeah.”

“You aren’t really going to skip classes for this… whatever this is, are you?” Narcissa asked them in wonder. The three Marauders exchanged a look and nodded together as if it were obvious. She looked at Lucius. “Does she do this often?”

“Alexia does whatever she wants to do,” he answered, taking his girlfriend’s hand again. “But now perhaps we can leave your friends and get some time alone.”

“Yeah,” Alexia nodded quickly, looking at her friends. “Don’t you dare do anything else. We’ll talk about this with Prongs and Moony tonight, okay?”

“You got it, Ash,” Peter nodded firmly. Alexia offered a smile to Narcissa. 

“It was nice to talk to you. Perhaps we can talk again.”

“I would like that.”

With that, Alexia turned around and made her way back up the stairs with her boyfriend, taking him to the Room of Requirement to spend time with him finally.

* * *

**February 7th, 1974**

“I do not understand,” Lucius admitted with a small frown. 

“Good luck,” Regulus told the older boy. Alexia hit his arm and turned back to her boyfriend. 

“Valentine’s Day is just so that uncaring men can act, for a day, like they’re the best partner in the world.”

“That is ridiculous,” Lucius stared. “That is not the only reason for the day.”

“You’re right,” she nodded. “It’s also to support capitalism. Sorry, I forgot.”

“I agree that it’s ridiculous,” Lily told her friend. “Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be the only day you show your partner how much you love them.”

“Alexia, do I not show you I care?”

“Of course you do.”

“Then  _ why _ are you so opposed to me taking you out this weekend?”

She paused. “I don’t know. I’ve always hated the holiday. Also, I’ve never had a partner on Valentine’s Day so I never had to think about doing anything. It’s just the principle of the thing, you know?”

“Similar to the opposition of capitalism despite the fact that it will survive regardless of your disapproval?”

Alexia narrowed her eyes at Severus. “Late stage capitalism is deadly!”

“But capitalism doesn’t care if you think so,” he told her. “So what’s the point?”

“The point is standing up against things you think are wrong,” she stared at him. “Like a capitalist world where the one percent make money off of the deaths of those in poverty. There is absolutely no need to hoard millions upon millions or even billions. We could solve so many problems with this money but we’re just sitting on it!”

“So I think what we’ve learned from this conversation is that Alex is going to probably give the majority of her trust fund to charity,” Remus joked, earning himself a glare. “Seriously, Ash, you need to relax. You can’t take on capitalism alone and someday you’re going to need the money you have to navigate the political world.”

“I’ll have allies like Lucius,” she said firmly. “The Potters, Blacks, and Malfoys allied. We could get anything done.”

Regulus let out a short laugh. “The Blacks and Malfoys, sure. I can’t imagine either of our Houses being allied with the Potters.”

“I can and I’d bet you my entire vaults that it’ll happen.”

“Okay,” Lucius put his hand on her arm. “I’d like to return to our discussion before you bet all your money on something less certain.”

Alexia sighed and sat back. “I’ll go on a Valentine’s Day date with you. I just hate being here and feeling so useless to feminism. Did you know muggle women can barely go to university? It’s ridiculous! I’m bloody brilliant and if I want to go to uni, then I will.”

“We know, Ash,” Remus rolled his eyes. “You can assist feminism in ways other than boycotting Valentine’s Day, though. Talk to Dumbledore about letting girls on the Quidditch team.”

Alexia froze. “What?”

“Girls aren’t allowed to play Quidditch.”

“What the  _ fuck _ ?  _ That’s  _ why Marlene didn’t get on the team?”

“Potter, either shut up or go away,” Regulus glared at her. “I’m trying to study for this bloody quiz and you’re complaining about Valentine’s Day and Quidditch.”

Alexia winced. It took a lot to piss off the younger Black brother. “Sorry.”

* * *

**February 14th, 1974**

“Will you quit glaring at them?” James made a face at Sirius. “That’s my sister.”

“They’re so  _ gross _ .”

“He’s literally being a perfect gentleman,” Peter told his friend. “What about that is gross?”

“The way she looks at him and the way he looks at her,” Sirius replied with a scowl.

“I thought you don’t like her right now,” Remus sighed, sipping at his butterbeer. 

“I don’t!” Sirius paused. “I don’t know. I might. And I know she’s starting to notice. What the hell do I do? I don’t want to make it weird again.”

“Just start dating other girls,” Peter suggested. “Distract yourself.”

“Forever,” James added. 

“That might work,” Sirius hummed. “You think McKinnon would date me again?”

“I think McKinnon is busy with Diggory’s tongue down her throat,” Peter replied, nodding at the couple making out in the back corner. Sirius sighed and looked around the room until his eyes settled on Emmaline and he grinned. 

“She’s fit,” he commented. 

“And one of Alexia’s closest girlfriends,” Remus sighed. “Don’t fuck up with her.”

“Then I’ll make sure she knows it’s purely  _ physical _ .”

“Ew, Padfoot,” James groaned. 

“Gross,” Peter agreed, looking away from their friend. 

* * *

**February 21st, 1974**

Alexia walked with Narcissa, their arms linked as they made their way down to dinner from the library. They’d been spending quite a bit of time together and had become sort of unlikely friends, getting closer than either had imagined rather quickly. Narcissa had dropped her pureblood act, surprising Alexia with how relaxed she could be around friends. As they walked, though, Alexia chewed on her lip in worry. She knew next to nothing about Narcissa’s life. She didn’t know what the girl would go through or what possible danger she could be in. 

“Cissa,” Alexia said softly as they approached the Great Hall. They stopped outside the doors to speak before they’d have to separate. “You know that if you ever need to, you can come to me, right?”

“Don’t worry,” the girl shook her head with a smile. “I’m fine.”

“No, I mean it,” Alexia said seriously, making eye contact. “If you’re ever in trouble or need to talk or need somewhere to go, my family and I will always be there to help you.”

“Why is that?” Narcissa wondered quietly. 

“Because we’re Potters and it’s what we do.”

“Okay,” she nodded, releasing Alexia’s arm. “If I ever need anyone, I’ll come to you.”

“Thank you.”

* * *

**February 29th, 1974**

Remus laid on the hospital bed and squeezed his eyes closed, letting out a hiss of pain while he was being healed. It had been a rough full moon for a reason he didn’t quite understand. Ever since his friends had forced their way into the Shrieking Shack on full moons, he’d been much calmer. Having a beta was great and having a pack was even better. 

“Stay still,” Alexia scolded, pushing his arm down onto the bed again. He made a face as her wand waved over him again. When she dropped some dittany into the wounds, he cursed and shoved her hand away. “Remus!” 

“Just leave it,” he snapped. She stared at him quietly and he sighed, rubbing his forehead with his hand. “I’m sorry. I’m just… frustrated. What happened? Why did I get so hurt?”

Alexia waved him over and he moved to let her lie down next to him. The pair stared up at the ceiling together while she gathered her thoughts. “Sirius and I had a fight.”

“Okay, and…?”

“ _ And _ I’m your beta,” she sighed. “It’s my fault, really. But you’re going through puberty, so as a wolf and as a human, your emotions are heightened. When you saw Sirius try to pin me down and bite me, you sort of… lost it.”

“Shit,” he cursed. “Is Sirius-,”

“Sirius is fine,” she assured him. “I didn’t let you hurt him. These… are actually from me trying to stop you.”

“And you’re hurt too?”

“I’m fine,” she rolled her eyes. “You can’t hurt your beta really, it’s nearly impossible. It’s like hurting yourself. Similar to how it’s impossible to hurt your mate.”

“I fucking hate not knowing what’s happening,” Remus admitted in a tired sigh. “I’m so scared I’ll really hurt someone, Ash, and I won’t even remember it.”

“I know,” she sighed, letting her head fall onto his shoulder. “If I… If I had a potion that I  _ know _ could help with that, would you take it?”

“What potion?”

“It’s one you take in the future,” she explained. “It helps you keep control of yourself as Moony. You’ll remember everything. It hasn’t  _ technically _ been invented yet, but I learned to make it before we went on the run when the person providing it to you couldn’t do it any longer.”

“That sounds… impossible,” he replied softly. “I really take something like that?”

Alexia nodded quickly. “I made it for you for months before I left and I made sure to teach Bill how to make it because he was the only one who knew we were leaving and he promised to help you out. I’d have taught you, but-,”

“I’m shit at potions,” he nodded. “You can really do that?”

“Promise,” she smiled. “I’ll start tomorrow.”

“Thanks, Ash.”

“Shush. Let’s get some sleep, okay?”

“Yeah. Sleep sounds good.”

* * *

**March 11th, 1974**

James paced in front of his fellow Marauders as they planned their next prank, his fingers threaded into his hair in stress. He’d been pacing for a full fifteen minutes and was quickly wearing down the patience of everyone else. 

“Prongs,  _ sit down _ ,” Remus snapped. James looked up in surprise to find everyone staring at him. 

“What is wrong with you?” Peter asked, irritated. “We’re trying to focus and you’re not helping at all.”

“Nothing,” James denied. Alexia rolled her eyes. 

“It’s about a girl.”

“What?” her twin gasped. “How did you know?”

“We have a twin bond, dumbass,” she laughed, grabbing his arm to pull him down onto his bed with her. “I know who this is about, Jamie.”

“No, you don’t.”

“It’s about Lily.”

“Oh, you do.”

“Evans?” Sirius made a face. “Why her? She yells at you every day.”

“Yeah, but she’s so pretty,” James smiled brightly. “And she yells at me because she thinks learning is important and sometimes we bother her. She never yells when we’re not bothering her.”

“That’s- that just isn’t true,” Remus winced. “I think she’s great, but she yells at us constantly.”

“She has such a nice voice,” James continued. “And she’s funny! Merlin, she really is.”

“Are we sure he hasn’t been given a love potion?” Sirius asked Alexia and Remus. Remus shrugged but Alexia shook her head. 

“No, he’s always felt this way,” she assured them. “I felt it when they met. He’s just only now confronting it.”

“I’m gonna ask her to Hogsmeade,” James decided firmly, his eyes turning to his sister. “Do you think she’ll say yes?”

“She might,” Alexia shrugged. “Just make sure to ask her privately and not be annoying about it.”

“Now that we have  _ that _ covered, can we  _ please _ get back to this prank? We’ve got a long way to go,” Peter reminded them. Everyone turned back to it - everyone but James, who was still pondering his crush.

* * *

**March 12th, 1974**

Alexia sat in her dorm with her friends, flipping through the pages of a book Sirius had gotten for her from Grimmauld Place reluctantly. His mother had been pleased he’d asked for a book on dark magic, so it had worked in his favor anyway. Alexia was using it to block out the conversation her friends were having, something that wasn’t going well. 

“I’m just saying, if he wants to make out with me the way he did with Dorcas, I’m completely okay with it,” Emmaline laughed as she put on some lipstick. “I don’t need a boyfriend, Marls.”

“And neither do I but he was being weird,” Marlene shrugged, her gaze falling on Alexia. “Hey, Lexi, you might know. What’s up with Black? Is he gay?”

Alexia let out a surprised laugh. “No, he isn’t. Why?”

“He was weird on our date earlier this year,” Marlene explained. “Nervous and he wouldn’t touch me much. Does he not think I’m hot? Because I’m  _ definitely _ hot.”

“You are,” Alexia rolled her eyes, looking up from her book. “I think he was having some personal issues but he should be fine now. Go wild, the both of you, but Jamie told me Sirius doesn’t want a relationship so I wouldn’t expect one.” 

“That’s weird,” Alice commented. “Why not?”

Alexia exchanged a glance with Emmaline, doing her best not to look at Lily. “He just doesn’t want to get into one. You know, rebelling against his parents. Dating anyone in our year is a chance for them to make a contract. We only have one muggleborn girl and Sirius thinks of Lily as more of an annoying sister - don’t look at me like that, it’s what he said.” 

“Well they can make a contract without him,” Mary reminded her. “I know they’re big on marrying within the family. What if he and Narcissa get married?”

Alexia made a face, cringing. “Cissa would probably rather jump into a volcano than marry him and it’s the same for Sirius. They’re close, sort of like siblings. No, I think the Blacks are trying to make more connections. If I had to guess, they’ll try to match someone up with Lucius.”

“But he’s your boyfriend!” Lily exclaimed. Alexia rolled her eyes.

“You know we aren’t going to marry, Lils,” she reminded her. “His parents are still trying to make a list of potential wives. I think I know who it’ll be, though.”

“Who?”

“Narcissa, of course.”

“Your two older Slytherin friends - one being your boyfriend - getting married,” Marlene stared. “Why are you so calm about the idea?”

“Honestly? Because there’s no way Lucius and I could ever marry. I love him but someday we’ll have to breakup, so I’m just enjoying the time we have while we have it.”

“Maybe we can get back to the entire reason we started talking about boys,” Lily suggested. “Boot asked me out.”

“He is fit,” Emmaline commented, nodding. “D’you like him?”

“I don’t know,” Lily sighed. “I have a crush on someone else-,”

“Jamie,” Alexia nodded.

“But he’s  _ obnoxious _ , just like his sister.”

“Hey!”

“Well, Lexi, do you know if James likes her?” Mary questioned. Alexia hesitated. 

“He does,” she nodded shortly. “And he does plan to ask you out, but…”

“But what?”

“But he plans to ask you out publicly, against mine and Remus’s advice. He says you deserve something more ‘magnificent’ than a quiet question.”

“Ugh,” Lily screwed her face up. “Why does he have to be such a prat?”

“He was horribly spoiled,” Alexia suggested. “He thinks you deserve the world, Lils, but he hasn’t learned how to be quieter about it.”

“So say yes to Boot and give James time to grow up,” Emmaline suggested. “I’m sure seeing you with someone else will make him jealous enough to listen.”

“I don’t think that’s-,”

“Good idea,” Lily nodded with a smile. “Thanks, guys.”

“But I just don’t think he’ll-,”

“Dinner,” Marlene announced. “Or I’m going to eat one of you. Mary’s smallest.”

“Hey!” 

“Chomp chomp, motherfucker.”

* * *

“So we were thinking-,”

“That maybe next week-,”

“We finally duel!”

Alexia looked between them and grinned brightly as they led her to sit down between them. She’d been walking with her girlfriends when they’d pushed their way in, each grabbed one of her arms, and led her away. “Really? I know you guys have been so busy so I didn’t want to bother you, but-,”

“Next week,” Fabian nodded firmly. She nodded a little. 

“Maybe you guys can help me with a project of mine, too,” she requested. “It’s hard to explain but there’s a destroyed room I want to repair before I ever go back and my friends are irritating me quite a bit lately, so I thought maybe you two can help me.”

“We’d be  _ honored _ .”

“Lily Flower,” James said a little way down the table to the redhead, who turned to him with a frown. 

“Oh no,” Alexia groaned, leaning back to look at the scene before her. 

“Don’t call me that,” Lily made a face. “What is it, James?”

James got down on one knee and presented her with a bouquet of sunflowers and roses. “Will you, Lily Evans, do me the honor of going to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?”

Lily hesitated and took the flowers from him. “Okay, Potter.”

“Really?” James grinned, getting to his feet. “Okay! Okay, cool.”

Alexia stared in shock. She’d said  _ yes _ .

* * *

**March 13th, 1974**

“I don’t know!” Lily exclaimed, digging through her trunk for an outfit. She’d avoided any and all questions the night before, going so far as too run out of a room when her friends approached her. They couldn’t do that when she was stuck in her dorm looking for clothes, something which they took advantage of, using the time to question her sanity. “I like him.”

“But he’s an immature prat!” Alice exclaimed, wincing. “No offense, Lexi.”

“A little offended,” Alexia rolled her eyes. “But I do agree. Jamie is going to grow into a wonderful, kind man but right now he’s just  _ annoying _ . He still hexes Severus!” 

“I know!” Lily sighed, picking up a purple dress. “It’s one date. If he isn’t mature enough, I’ll do what you suggested, Lexi, and wait to date him again.”

“Fine,” Marlene shook her head. “But you’re letting me do your hair.”

“What’s wrong with my hair?”

“Nothing, it’s just so… regular.”

“...okay.”

* * *

“For Merlin’s sake, you’re not wearing your formal robes,” Remus rolled his eyes, pulling the black robes away from his friend. Sirius replaced them with a good pair of muggle jeans and a nice sweater, both from Remus’s trunk. 

“I have to look nice for her!” James pouted. “What if she doesn’t like me?”

“She likes you enough to agree to a date,” Peter pointed out. “So just try not to fuck it up from here, okay?”

“But what do we  _ do _ ?”

“Take her places she likes,” Remus suggested. “The quill shop, the bookshop, candy, maybe some tea. Take her to the joke shop and show her things she’d like there.”

“Good idea,” James nodded, letting out a shaky breath. “Merlin, am I supposed to be so nervous? Sirius, were you this nervous?”

“With  _ who _ ?”

“I don’t know! Marlene, Dorcas, any of the girls you’ve gone out with.”

“Nah,” Sirius shrugged. “I don’t care about them and they know that. They’re just looking to snog.”

“Did you when you went out with Mary?” James asked Remus. The boy shook his head. 

“No, not really. I was only really nervous because-,”

“Of your furry little secret?”

“Shut up, Padfoot.”

“So basically what we’re saying is that you need to chill,” Peter told him. James just scowled. 

“None of you are right to ask. Where’s Lex? She really liked Malfoy before their first date. I need to find her.”

“Right here,” Alexia called, knocking before she entered the room. She took in the sight before her and let out a small laugh. “Jamie, do you need a calming draught?”

“Tell me you were nervous before your first date,” James requested, grabbing her by her shoulders. She tensed at the sudden, tight hold and took in a slow deep breath.

“If you mean my first ever date… sort of,” she told him. “But only because it was with a famous Quidditch player at the Yule Ball. He couldn’t say my name but at least he didn’t step on my feet while we danced like Harry did.”

“Why didn’t Harry know how to dance?” Sirius asked while Remus moved over to force James to release Alexia. She leaned into her friend, breathing in slowly. 

“I don’t know,” she scoffed. “I didn’t raise him.”

“I meant before your date with Malfoy,” James told her impatiently. “I know I wasn’t the best about it but-,”

“Yes, I was nervous,” she told him calmly. “You’ll be great, okay? Just don’t be a prat.”

“Okay but were you so nervous that you wanted to puke?”

“Um, no,” she frowned. “Seriously, Jamie, you need a calming draught.” She waved her hand in the air silently and caught the potion before it could hit Remus’s head, handing it over to her brother. He took it reluctantly and tossed the bottle in the trash when he was done. 

“Thanks, Lex,” he sighed. He grabbed the clothes offered to him and made his way into the bathroom to change and fumble with his hair. A full fifteen minutes later and he was finally finished. 

“Good luck, mate,” Sirius said, patting his shoulder. “You need it.”

* * *

“So where are we going?” Lily asked as she took James’s arm. He smiled and led her down the path into Hogsmeade. 

“I’ve got the day planned,” he assured her. “Hopefully nothing you won’t like.”

“Really?” Lily blinked in surprise as he led her to the bookstore. “Oh, James, this is so sweet but I can take a long time in the bookstore.”

“I know, Lex told me,” he nodded. “But I’ve followed her around for hours and you’re cute so I think I can be pretty distracted.”

She blushed and nodded, making her way through the shelves to find, over the next hour and a half, that James was serious. He followed her and asked questions every once in awhile and held her books for her. When she was finished, they got to the counter and waited for the books to be rung up. When they were, the clerk looked to James, despite Lily handing the books over. 

“That’s four galleons and two knots,” he told James. Lily reached into her pockets, surprised to find James doing the same. 

“No, James, I’ve got it,” she told him, shaking her head. He frowned at her in confusion and she handed her money over before he could argue. “It’s very sweet, but I don’t need you to pay for everything, especially not a bunch of books I was going to buy anyway.”

“We’ll split it evenly, then,” he suggested. “I’ll pay for the next thing.”

She frowned a little but nodded. “I think I can handle that.”

“Okay!” He grinned, taking the bag for her and offering his other arm. They made their way across the street to the quill shop and she looked around in wonder. 

“I’ve never actually been in here,” she admitted. “I just order them through mail. These are… beautiful.”

“You use the same ones Lex used to and that I do,” he nodded, leading her through the room. “But you work so much, you deserve something sturdier. I thought you might like one of these. They’re supposed to last a long time - Mum and Dad use them for work.”

“These are beautiful,” she whispered, touching a pastel purple quill. 

“Wonderful choice,” the owner nodded at the quill. “It has an everlasting charm and the ink changes colors when you tap your finger to it three times and think of the color you want.”

“We’ll take it,” James told the man, looking at Lily again. “Anything else? They’ve got some really good ink pots that erase with a tap of your wand and show up in the pot again.”

Lily gasped. “They have that? I didn’t even know that was possible.”

“We’ll take two of those, too.”

“I don’t need two.”

“One is for me,” he laughed softly, leading her to the counter to pay. When they finished, they made their way to Madam Puddifoot’s Tea Shop. It was surprisingly empty for a Hogsmeade day so they got a table by a window and waited for their tea and cookies. “I hope this is okay.”

“I’ve never been in here,” she admitted. “It’s so… pink and full of couples.”

“Tea is good though,” James grinned, sipping the cup he was given. “We haven’t… talked much over the last three years.”

Lily nodded along. “You’re right.”

“Will you tell me about your family?” he requested softly. She considered it for a moment before agreeing. 

“I have a sister, Petunia. She’s two years older than me. My mum is a brain surgeon and my dad is a muggle lawyer. We don’t have any sort of extended family, really. Just my dad’s sister, Allison. Certainly nothing like Sirius’s family.”

“Practically everyone in the wizarding world is related to Sirius’s family,” James laughed. “Are you and your sister close?”

“We used to be,” Lily looked down at her cup, thinking of the way they used to stick to each others’ sides no matter what. “But when it became clear that I had magic, she… did not react well. She’s jealous that I’m a witch and she’s not.”

“That’s shit,” he sighed, shaking his head. “Muggleborn is a bit of a misleading term. Muggleborns are actually descended from squibs. It’s likely because squibs used to be thrown into the muggle world when it becomes clear that they don’t have magic. It’s despicable. But they usually have kids, grandkids, that are also squibs, so when a muggleborn pops up…”

“It’s just magic resurfacing,” Lily gasped, covering her mouth with her hand. “That’s incredible! I never knew that.”

“The dark families like the Blacks and Malfoys and Dolohovs don’t really want that news spreading around,” James shrugged. “I think it’s a load of elf dung but I can’t do anything about it until I’m Lord Potter.”

“Can’t your father do anything?”

“He’s tried before,” James admitted. “Everyone says he’s old and has lost his mind. They won’t have that excuse when I come at them.”

Lily smiled softly. “That’s great, James.”

He returned her smile and paid quickly once they finished their tea. Instead of taking his offered arm, she grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers, making them both smile brightly. 

“Where next?”

“Okay, I want you to refrain from judging until you understand why we’re going there,” he requested. She narrowed her eyes but nodded, following him until she saw where they were going.

“Zonko’s?” she made a face. “You’re picking up things for your pranks on our date?”

“No, of course not,” he rolled his eyes. “Sirius is getting it for me. I wanted to show you some things you might like. These aren’t just prank items, Lily Flower.”

“Zonko’s Joke Shop has normal things?” she asked him critically. He led her into the shop and took her up to the second floor and to the left where she spotted a huge stack of magical notebooks, her eyes widening. “Notebooks?”

“They take down your thoughts when you activate the charm,” he explained. “You can edit to delete the random thoughts that end up and when you open it, the words will only appear for you.”

“It’s brilliant,” she grinned, picking up a light green journal. “I didn’t know Zonko’s sold things like this.”

“Neither did I,” James admitted to her. “Not until recently.” 

“Why don’t you grab whatever you need?” she offered. “You followed me through the bookstore so it’s only fair that I follow you through here. The only rule is that you don’t use any of it on me.”

“Deal,” he grinned, setting to work. She laughed at a few of the products she passed and after only a half hour, they went to the counter where he paid for both of their things. By the time they left the shop, it was late afternoon and all the students were starting to head back to the castle, signalling the end of the Hogsmeade trip for that day. 

“James, wait,” Lily called. He turned around and ran firmly into her lips. Both paused in surprise when a strange feeling of pure magic tugged them together, washing over them. It was James that jumped back when it ended, staring at her with wide, shocked eyes.

“Holy shit.”

“James?” Lily frowned nervously. “James, what was that?”

“It- um,” he blinked, unsure how to tell her. “It’s- it isn’t important.”

“But it felt-,”

“Jamie!” 

James turned to his sister’s confused frown and felt relief flood through him. “Lex! Malfoy!”

“James, what was-,”

“Snivellus,” James rolled his eyes as the other boy came to walk on Lucius’s other side. “What are you doing with them?”

“Don’t call him that,” Lily’s confusion turned into an angry glare quickly. “It’s mean.”

James, seeing his way out of the terrifying conversation, zeroed in on Snape. “Who let this greasy git into the wild? Out for good behavior?”

“James!” Alexia snapped. “Shut up!” 

“Leave him alone,” Lily glared darkly. He was almost free, he knew. He just had to push it a  _ little _ farther. 

“ _ Alarte Ascendare _ ,” James cast. The spell threw Snape into the air. He didn’t even pay attention to Alexia rushing him in a hurry. To his relief, Lily turned to him and slapped him across the face. 

“You prat! They were right, you’re too immature for me!” she shouted, running to Snape. “I never should’ve gone on a date with you!” 

As much as the words hurt, he slipped away from the scene as fast as he could, not willing to give the two witches the time to hex him.

* * *

“What the  _ fuck _ , James?” Alexia shouted, storming into the boys’ dorm as James was separating his things from Lily’s, making him drop the notebook on the ground. “What the hell did you do that for?”

“Relax,” he scowled, grabbing the notebook to set it next to her ink pot. “I promise I have a very good reason for that.”

“There cannot  _ possibly _ be a good reason for hexing Severus again!” She yelled angrily, her hair sparking. “You are just a mean kid who doesn’t have a shred of self control! He just takes it for my sake because he knows how upset I get when you hex him but I know it bothers him!”

“Alexia,” James interrupted loudly. She froze at the use of her full name, eyes wide. 

“What?”

“I kissed Lily.”

“She told me.”

“I kissed Lily and it sparked a soul bond.”

Alexia’s mouth fell open in surprise. “Is that why you hexed Sev? To distract her?”

“Yes,” he nodded quickly. “Because she doesn’t know enough about this stuff, Lex. It’ll scare her and I’d rather she be angry than scared.”

Alexia sat on his bed, staring at her hands with wide eyes. “You’re… right. I was terrified when Sirius and I kissed. I did a lot of reading before I was able to calm down and most of those books were only available in Potter Manor and not here… Oh god. I have to explain it to her.”

“No!” James shook his head quickly. “No, you can’t. She’s pissed, Lex. I wanna let her calm down and go on more dates with her before we talk about it.”

“But-,”

“No,” he told her firmly. She could feel how serious and  _ scared _ he was, so she nodded reluctantly.

“Okay. Fine.”

“Thank you,” he breathed out in relief. “Now will you take her things to her? I bolted before I could give them to her.”

“Yeah. Just be careful, Jamie. It might be a while before she wants to date you again.”

“Yeah, I know. I’ll just have to… win her back.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact trying to write a summary or anything at all while listening to a podcast about spirit guides and shit is difficult because my brain only knows how to do one thing at once. Listen and think? Nope.


	20. Hazy Shade of Winter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> End of third year, I think. So... Goyle.

**Chapter Twenty**

_ But if your hopes should pass away _

_ Simply pretend that you can build them again _

**March 17th, 1974**

Alexia paced quietly in front of the wall and, when a door appeared, ushered the twins into the familiar practice room. The picture had been put into her beaded bag and was, in turn, missing from the mirror, confirming to her that the room existed throughout time. 

“This is cool,” Fabian told her with a grin that matched his brother’s own. 

“We used to practice in here,” she told them softly. “I helped Harry teach the DA how to fight in fifth year since Umbridge wouldn’t and we knew the war would start soon. It sort of became my favorite place.”

“How many kids were in your DA?”

“Oh, not that many,” she shrugged. “Maybe thirty altogether? Some kids didn’t come every time. And when the castle was taken over by Death Eaters, people still at school came to the Room for safety to hide from them. It was brilliant.  _ Unfortunately _ , the Room was destroyed in the war by us. Well, not us, but a Death Eater chasing us.”

“What  _ happened _ ?” Gideon asked, looking around. “You said it exists outside of time but it looks fine to me.”

“I imagine I’d have to ask for the room that we were in when it was destroyed,” she explained. “Which I’ll do some other time. It was destroyed because he cast Fiendfyre and wasn’t able to properly control it.”

“Merlin’s bloody balls, everyone knows not to do that,” Fabian stared at her. “It kills hundreds of Wizards a year!”

She shrugged. “He was… nasty and terrifying and… obviously thought he could do it.”

“Are you okay, Pip?” Gideon frowned. “You’re shaking a little.”

She offered them a small, forced smile. “He did some shitty things to me. It’s just hard to talk about. Good thing is that he will never bother me again, I know that for certain.”

“He died casting Fiendfyre,” Fabian guessed, looking satisfied when she nodded. “Well, the damage can be extensive but if it managed to contain itself to only this room and not the entire castle, I’d say it should be pretty easy to fix it up again.”

“But for now,” Gideon grinned, grabbing his wand. “Let’s duel!”

Alexia laughed and nodded, dropping her wand into one hand and leaving the other open, palm out in front of her. “Whenever you’re ready.”

The duel was a tough one and enough to even make her sweat a little. The two of them together passed Lucius’s strength and nearly matched Dolohov. They called her out every time a bit of dark magic was cast and she was shocked to realize that it was somewhat of a regular occurrence. By the time they finished, they were sweating and grinning. 

“That was brilliant,” she told them gratefully. “You guys are amazing. How long have you been dueling?”

“Since we were little,” Gideon told her as he took a swig of water. “Our parents wanted to help us learn to protect ourselves from a young age.”

“That’s incredible. I didn’t know how to protect myself in any manner until I got to Hogwarts and even then it didn’t help me in the muggle world until I turned seventeen. At that point, Voldemort was my biggest problem.”

“What in the Muggle world could be a threat to you?”

“Nothing anymore,” she waved them off, shaking her head a little. “I wish I could duel more often. I feel like I’m letting important skills rot.”

“Maybe you should duel Lucius.”

“But-,”

“I know,” Gideon assured her. “But I think it would be good for you to get rid of that terrible fear you have. You never know what’ll happen in the future and it could be a weakness that ends up hurting you.”

“But he would never hurt me if he doesn’t have to.”

“It’s still a weakness,” Fabian told her gently. “As valid as it is, it’s a weakness.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Good! Now let’s get a snack, I’m starving.”

* * *

**May 8th, 1974**

Overall, it had been a relatively calm few months. It was unusually quiet considering the events of James and Lily’s date. James had begun avoiding her at all costs, something Alexia helped him to do. Lily stayed with her girlfriends or their study group at most times while James stuck to the Marauders like glue. It left Alexia with very little time to be alone with individuals since either her brother or her friend were always around to avoid the other. 

Which meant that the day there was a Quidditch match between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw at the same time as a tutoring group Lily ran, Alexia grabbed Lucius and pulled him to the Room of Requirement to spend some time together but also do the thing she definitely did not want to do - duel him. 

“What are we doing?” he asked, looking around. He hadn’t been in the room since she’d had a panic attack when Peter had been dared to kiss her and they hadn’t discussed it, either. 

“I want to duel.”

“Alexia,” he sighed, wrapping an arm around her and kissing her forehead. “I do not think it is a wise idea.”

“It’s a weakness,” she told him firmly. “It’s a weakness and I need to get rid of it. We don’t… we don’t know if we’re going to fight here, Lucius.”

“I will not fight you until I have to.”

“But you might have to,” she sighed tiredly, stepping back from his hold to look at him seriously. “You might need to sometime before I leave and we’ll need to be able to fight without… choking up.”

“Alexia-,”

“We’re going to go through a lot of hard shit and if you can’t really and truly fight me then you won’t be able to handle the future.”

“And if I do not want to uphold this horrible future?”

Alexia paused to stare at him, her nerves picking up. “You were the first person to tell me that I never should’ve made that Vow with Sirius. Now you want to change time?”

“I love you,” he told her firmly, taking a step forward and grabbing her face in his hands. “I never want to hurt you.”

“I know that,” she assured him softly. “I love you, too. And I never want you to have to go through this but… if you don’t, we won’t come out the other side. We don’t know what could happen. Your future wife could die, you wouldn’t have Draco, Dumbledore might not die, and the war could drag on for years longer than it’s supposed to.”

“I understand,” he whispered. She let him pull her into a hug and bit her lip, waiting for him to come to terms with it. It happened much sooner than expected and, to her surprise, he pushed her back and threw a curse at her. Her hand came up to cast a quick shield. It protected her and gave her just enough time to steady herself and step back. She did not, however, have the time to pull her wand before he started on her again. 

“ _ Flippendo _ !” 

Alexia dodged the charm when it passed through her shield. It hit a dummy behind her and tossed it up in the air. As she cast  _ Everte Statum _ , the dummy came down and knocked her to the ground. Her shield fell with the impact and he managed to hit her with a curse that dug into her thigh before she rolled onto her back and threw her arms up to shield herself, stopping a stunner from hitting her. “ _ Shit _ , what did you hit me with?”

“You want to duel,” he reminded her, moving closer. “You need to learn to duel me, Alexia.”

“I suppose so,” she grit out, struggling to stand with the injured leg. She cast a silent  _ Colloshoo _ , aiming under his shield at his feet. When it hit him, he dropped the shield to try and unstick his shoes from the ground. She aimed to hit him with a  _ Petrificus Totalus _ . He dodged it and threw a  _ Bombarda _ at the mirror behind her and she let out a surprised shriek when some glass dug into her skin. Barely a moment later, he hit her with a stunner.

Once he unstuck his shoes, he made his way over and kneeled down to revive her, his wand moving to her thigh quickly. 

“Shit,” she hissed. “Shit, that hurts.”

“You can do better than that.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

He looked up from her leg, his eyes dark. “Did it seem I was unwilling to hurt you?”

“No, but-,”

“Alexia, you are correct. We will fight. You need to get over your reluctance to harm me. Protect yourself over anyone else. You would be a good Slytherin except you have no self-preservation.”

“I resent that,” she scowled. “I wouldn’t have survived a war if I didn’t want to live.”

“You wanted Harry to live.”

“That’s not the point,” Alexia sighed. When he was having trouble healing the top of the wound, she pushed her skirt up for him and rolled her eyes when he blushed slightly. It gave her a good sight of the injury, though, and she winced. It was a line from the top of her thigh and twisted down to a couple of inches above her knee. “Shit, Lucius. What was that?”

“ _ Scalpere Eum _ ,” he answered quietly as he waved his wand over her leg. A small, yellow light sunk into her leg and lit it up just under the skin. Some of the pain faded, allowing her to relax a little. 

“I’ve never heard of it.”

“It is rather old,” he nodded as he worked. “Not too dark but there is a small chance it will leave a scar.”

“I don’t care anymore,” she sighed, pulling her sweater over her head. She hissed in pain when it shifted the glass embedded in her back and neck. “Was that mirror really necessary?”

“None of it was necessary. It was more than a duel, Alexia. You may have more experience than I do but you also need to learn to do whatever it takes - that is what I will teach you.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

Lucius looked up from her leg and touched her cheek gently and met her eyes. “I never want to hurt you.”

“I know,” she whispered, staring back at his sharp blue eyes. She  _ did _ know that he didn’t want to hurt her and it was part of the problem. She knew that and so she didn’t want to hurt him even when he was cursing her because she knew he didn’t want to. 

“Where is your bag?”

Alexia waved her hand quietly and grabbed the bag out of the air and handed it to him. He dug inside and retrieved the dittany to help seal up the injury. When he was done, he lowered her skirt for her and looked up.

“Your back now.”

Turning around, she sighed and took off her shirt, no doubt making him blush again. “This is one of those horrible moments when I wish it was already over. That I was already in the future and I don’t have to… go through all of this. Watch the people I love go through this. I don’t want to fight a war again, Lucius. I want to be done with it.”

“And you will in a few years,” he assured her as he pulled the glass from her back. “Stay very still.” His wand hovered over a spot between her neck and shoulder and he very carefully removed a large piece of glass that had dug in deep. It began bleeding freely as soon as the glass was gone and he hurried to heal it up. When he did, he frowned. “Another scar there. This one is bigger.”

“That’s fine,” she breathed. They were silent after that while he finished working and when he was done, she grabbed a shirt from her bag and put that on considering the fact that her shirt and sweater were all torn up after the duel. Lucius came to sit by her side and she let her head fall on his shoulder. “We should duel more often. Multiple times a week. You’re right. I need to be willing to… to hurt you.”

“But for now,” he told her gently, stroking her arm. “Now we rest.”

“Now we rest.”

* * *

**May 19th, 1974**

All of Gryffindor and a significant amount of the other three Houses stood on the many steps where the magical borders cut off. It was, according to the Marauders, the big day when they’d  _ finally _ reveal what they’d been working on regardless of the fact that just about everybody had figured it out by then. 

“Hello, everybody!” Alexia called, using her wand to make her voice louder. “And thank you for coming out to see this. Another quick reminder to stay away from the barrier because it will give you a bit of a shock if you touch it. Now, as most of you know, we’ve been working on something on the stairs all year. We’ve put our blood, sweat, and tears into this - literally, actually. We’ve spent the entire year tracking and deciphering when these staircases change. Of course, our research was released to the seventh years early on and will be released to all of you at dinner tonight. Seventh years, has any of you been late to class or tutoring or whatever the hell you do because of the stairs?”

“Nope,” a seventh year Gryffindor grinned. “Saved me from being late to a date.”

“What Ash is trying to say,” James called, interrupting. “Is that we’ve spent the year trying to get a slinky down every set of stairs without interruption! But since we’ve been informed by our mum that we’re not allowed to waste _any_ of the slinkys we bought, we’ve decided to push them all down, one by one, until they’ve all succeeded.”

“That could take  _ hours _ ,” Frank stared in wonder. 

“We know,” Sirius grinned. “That’s why it’s a race! Whoever can get the most down in an hour gets three marks on the board.”

“And we’re going to just rotate until they’re all done,” Peter nodded with a bright smile. 

“No magic allowed aside from the barriers,” Remus added. 

“Who goes first?” Marlene asked, staring at them with an amused smile. 

“Well, we couldn’t decide,” James admitted. “So we’re going to do it by age.”

“But you and Alexia are  _ twins _ ,” Regulus pointed out despite the fact that he knew better. 

“Yeah, we did rock, paper, scissors,” Alexia nodded. “James won. Sirius goes first.”

“So,” Remus called, stepping up onto the box of slinkys. There was a pile set next to them and Sirius sat onto the floor in front of the stairs with one already in his hands, readying himself. “On your mark… get set… go!”

Sirius shoved the slinky down the stairs and with that, the Great Slinky Race of 1974 began.

* * *

With the snow long since melted and the cold air disappearing, the students made their way back out onto the grounds to study for their exams or just hang out. Alexia was no exception to the excitement and her friends found her sitting under her usual tree with another dark book in her arms and her hair pulled up into a high bun. Her shorts and t shirt were barely appropriate for the current temperature, something that made Severus roll his eyes as he came to sit on the blanket she was on next to her. 

“Desperate for warm weather?” he asked, leaning over to see what she was reading. “ _ Re Vera Libri Tenebris _ .”

“We have that in our library,” Regulus frowned at her, sitting down now, too. 

“Yeah, Sirius got it for me. Your mum seems rather pleased that he keeps asking for these books.”

“An enriched, dark education,” Lily muttered. “Great. But why do  _ you _ need it?”

“Honestly? I think it’s important to know what the enemy knows. I think it’s important to know how to use this dangerous magic but also to know how to heal from this dark magic. I bugged Lucius for a week to teach me the curse he hit my leg with.”

“He did  _ what _ ?” Regulus stared at her with narrowed eyes. “What did he hit you with? Why the hell would he curse you?”

“Um…  _ Scalpere Eum _ ,” she winced. When he stared at her covered leg, she sighed and pushed her shorts up to reveal part of the scar she had. “I guess I forgot to mention we’d be dueling. We might have a few injuries, probably mostly me.”

“Then don’t try to fucking scar each other,” Severus suggested sharply, concerned. Alexia looked up as Narcissa moved over to them, eyebrow raised as she looked at her youngest cousin eyeing Alexia’s thigh. She shoved her shorts back down and laughed as the older girl sat to her right. 

“I was showing him a scar, just proving that I’m fine,” she explained before turning to Severus. “The entire point is that I can’t beat him, Sev. We’re giving it everything we’ve got because we both know what’s coming.”

“What’s coming?” Lily asked nervously. 

“War,” Narcissa answered. “War is coming. Who are you dueling?”

“Lucius,” Alexia answered. 

“And that’s where your scary neck scar came from?” Lily wondered, pointing at her bare neck. Alexia smacked her hand away and nodded. 

“He  _ Bombara _ ’d a mirror behind me and I was unable to protect myself.”

“And you will not make that mistake again,” Lucius reminded her as he made his way over to the group. “When are you making your way to the stairs?”

Alexia cast a quick  _ Tempus _ and hummed. “Three hours now. Pete should be starting soon. I have a meeting with the twins in a couple minutes but you can come if you’d like.”

Lucius nodded and gently nudged her until she scooted forward for him to sit behind her. When he did, she leaned back against him and sighed happily. 

“You’re still gross,” Severus muttered, making a face. “Lily, would you like to go to the library?”

“I’d love to,” she agreed. “If we can get past the bloody Marauders.”

“Hey,” Alexia pouted. “You like me.”

“You’re still a Marauder and therefore still annoying,” she told her firmly, getting to her feet with their friend and leaving. 

“She insults me so often, I wonder why she even likes me.”

“Your pranks annoy her,” Lucius laughed. “Your pranks annoy many people.”

“But not you.”

“Not me,” he confirmed, kissing her. 

“Alexia, do you have anymore of our books?” Regulus wondered. Alexia nodded and grabbed her bag, reaching in to pull out a pile of five books. “Merlin, when did you plan to send them back?”

“At the end of the year with Sirius,” she shrugged. “I still need to take notes on a couple of them. You can take the rest if you’d like.”

“Only for fear of them being found on you,” he nodded, grabbing the ones she didn’t need anymore. “Let me know when this ridiculous competition is over.”

“It isn’t ridiculous! We’ve worked very hard on it.”

“You were injured for it,” Lucius reminded her softly. She rolled her eyes.

“I’ve been injured for more ridiculous things,” she assured him. “Like a witch throwing a fit because she thought I’d touched her things.”

“ _ Alexia _ ,” Lucius’s lips thinned as he stared down at her. He clearly understood what she was referencing and he didn’t appreciate it. She winced.

“Yeah, maybe that’s a bit much.”

“What are you doing with the twins today?” he asked softly, stroking her arm. 

“Dueling and I’m going to finally see if we can repair it. I wasn’t able to find it last time but I think I got it yesterday.”

“Well, I will see you both another time,” Narcissa told them with a smile. “Dueling isn’t my favorite and I have more studying to do.”

With that, the pair were left alone. They spent the time together until it was time to go meet the twins, at which point they carefully made their way up the stairs. Alexia frowned at the slow speed at which the slinkys were making their way down the stairs. 

“Either something is wrong or he’s distracted,” she muttered as they stopped at the seventh floor and made their way down the hall. She paced in front of the wall and repeated the words in her mind. 

_ Give me the place that we destroyed _ . 

After her final turn, she stood and stared as a large door appeared in front of her. With a nervous breath, she stood straight and opened it. 

The room in front of her was still on fire. 

“Alexia!” Lucius yelled pulling her back by her arm as she waved her hand at the doors to slam them shut. She fell onto Lucius, knocking them both to the ground roughly. 

“Well, don’t mind us,” Fabian said as he approached. “We didn’t realize we’d be interrupting.”

“We can just,” Gideon reached for the door and pulled it open a little. 

“No!” Lucius and Alexia screamed. Alexia pushed pure magic from her empty hands to force the doors shut again, the force of the magic nearly knocking Gideon over. She scrambled to her feet and stood with her back to the door, arms out. 

“We can’t go in there,” she told them firmly. “I have  _ deeply _ misunderstood what happened when we closed the doors during the battle.”

“What the hell was that?” Fabian asked, looking between the startled couple. 

“ _ That _ was active Fiendfyre,” she explained. “Until we find someone strong enough to handle a fire that big, we have to leave it shut.”

“I can,” Lucius told her. “Sirius or Regulus likely can as well. They received extremely similar lessons in dark magic that I did.”

“Controlling fiendfyre is dark magic?” she asked in confusion. 

“Only a powerfully dark spell could control a powerfully dark fire,” Fabian confirmed. 

“Well, Sirius had the first shift so he should be free,” Alexia hummed and cast a patronus. “To Sirius and Regulus. Please come to the Room of Requirement, it’s important.”

“So when exactly did you learn the Patronus?” Gideon wondered as they waited, leaning against the wall. “It’s an uncommon spell and not one generally taught at Hogwarts.”

Alexia made a face. “In my third year - my original third year - someone escaped Azkaban and was most likely to come to Hogwarts to attack a student, or that’s what everyone thought. So the Ministry sent Dementors to Hogwarts to watch out for him. Harry passed out on the train and even in the middle of a storm during a Quidditch match. He could’ve died. He asked Remus to teach him and I did the same. We taught it to just about everyone else in fifth year.”

“What’s up, kitten?” Sirius asked as he got up the stairs, looking at the group. “Is there any particular reason you’re not all in there?”

“Yes, actually,” she said, grabbing his arm when he went to go in. “Trust me, it’s better this way. Let’s just wait for Reg to get here.”

“Well,” Sirius grinned. “Wanna know how many I got down?”

She narrowed her eyes. “How many?”

“Sixty!” 

“Holy fucking shit, Padfoot,” she cursed. “ _ How _ ? We saw Pete’s going really slow.”

“Yeah, because that dumbass is only putting them down one at a time,” Sirius rolled his eyes at her. “He thinks that if he adds any more, they’ll bunch up and mess it up.”

“How many of yours did that?”

“Only twelve,” he shrugged. “Why are we waiting for my brother again?”

“Because it is likely we need both of your help,” Lucius told him. 

“With what?”

“A huge ass wall of Fiendfyre.”

“A  _ what _ ?” 

Alexia breathed out in relief at the sight of Regulus, who had stopped in his tracks. “Thank  _ Merlin _ . I want to get this taken care of as soon as possible and I can’t exactly go in there with the fire.”

“What the hell is Fiendfyre doing in there?” Regulus asked sharply. Alexia pinched the bridge of her nose, the noise giving her a slight headache. 

“In the future, during the final battle- shit, Reg, I’ve barely told you anything.”

“Actually, you’ve told me nothing,” he corrected. “Everything I know is what Sirius told me that day.”

“Which is?”

“War, the future, someone sent you here,” he summarized.

“Right,” she sighed. “The day I was sent to 1971 was the day we ended the war. Hours after, actually. During that final battle, some Death Eaters followed my friends and I into this room. We were looking for something that had to be destroyed to end the war, but they started cursing us. One of those dumbasses cast Fiendfyre. It’s actually quite funny because Fiendfyre was one of the very few things that could destroy the item we were after, so they saved us some unpleasant work. We barely managed to escape and close the doors.”

“Okay, and the fire is here  _ now _ because?”

“Because this rooms exists outside of time and I recalled this room with the intent to fix it before I go back to the future.”

“And you called us because we know how,” Sirius nodded his understanding. “Cool.”

“How big was the fire?” Lucius questioned. Alexia considered the question, closing her eyes to think back.

“It wasn’t as big as it seemed, I think. It was like it was chasing us but it didn’t have time to catch everything on fire. If I’m right, it’s only at the front like you just saw.”

“It shouldn’t take long then,” he assured her. “Three of us should be plenty.”

“We can help,” Alexia insisted. The twins shook their heads.

“I don’t think so, Lexi,” Gideon said. “It takes some time to master that spell. They’ve had years.”

“Right, let’s get this done,” Sirius said lazily. “I’ve got a date with a Ravenclaw in thirty minutes.”

Regulus went to stand to the left opposite of Sirius and Lucius stood directly in front of Alexia, his wand already out. 

“You need to get back,” he warned her. “That fire will swallow you up before you ever have time to move.”

“But how will you get the door open safely?”

“Come over here with us,” Fabian suggested. “When they’re ready, you can spell it open.”

Alexia did as he told her and looked at the three boys in concern. “You’re ready?”

“Ready,” Lucius confirmed after looking to the Black brothers. Alexia nodded and cast the spell to open the doors. All three boys already had the spell cast and it doused the fire easier than she could’ve expected. When she stepped closer and looked inside, she was surprised to find the majority of the room fine and untouched. It was only the front of the room by the doors that was burned to a crisp. 

“Shit, that’s amazing,” she muttered, stepping into the room. It was warm and there was smoke, so she cast a bubble-head charm to ensure she could breathe fine. 

“This place is huge,” Regulus commented, entering in after her and coming to walk at her side. Sirius, Lucius, and the Prewett twins followed quickly after, staying close to her as she turned corners and walked farther in. 

“I wonder…” Alexia hummed, waving her hand. “ _ Accio _ Diadem!” The burnt and broken diadem flew into her hand and she stared down at it in wonder. “That’s incredible. I wondered if it would still have the anti- _ accio _ charm on it after it was destroyed.”

“Is that a  _ person _ ?” Sirius asked, pointing a few stacks of rubbish ahead of them. Alexia’s head shot up as she tried to spot what he’d seen. “It is! They’re running to us!” 

“No,” she whispered, tensing. “ _ Fuck _ . Everyone get back.”

“But you don’t even know who it is,” Regulus denied, confused. 

“I do, and you need to get back,” she told him sharply. When no one moved, she put up a shield and overpowered it, shoving it at them so hard that it threw them back and away from her. She waited as calmly as possible for the space between them to close and when she could see him, she breathed out in confusion. “But you  _ died _ . I watched you die!” 

“I didn’t die,” Goyle glared at her, an uncomfortable hunger in his eyes. “You left me there.”

“We tried to save you,” she denied. “It’s not my fault you couldn’t hold onto Ron. You should’ve died in here.”

“ _ Fuck _ ,” Sirius hissed, recognizing Goyle. “That’s the guy from that memory, from James’s boggart.”

“I’m not the one that’s going to die,” he told her darkly, raising his wand. She did the same, putting up a quick shield in front of her while still holding the one behind her. “Draco might’ve saved you earlier, Granger, but I have you now and I don’t even have to share.”

“Stay the fuck away from me,” she snapped. She was unable to hex him or curse him with both shields being held and she hoped she could manage to protect all of them regardless. 

“Are you going to tell me why you’re so young?” he wondered, stepping closer. She could do nothing to stop him, to her horror, so she put more energy into her shields instead. “You look like you did the first time, in our third year.”

“You’re in the past,” she told him. She cursed herself when she heard her voice shake but stared ahead still. “We’re in 1974.” 

Goyle laughed, taking another step closer. “That’s fucking impossible, Granger. And it doesn’t explain why you’re fourteen.”

“I never realized you were smart enough to know anything,” she spat. “Just stay away from me. If you hurt me, I’m sure my friends would be perfectly willing to hurt you, too.”

“It would be worth it,” he told her. 

“Is that why you tried to kill us?” she wondered. “Because you don’t care about pissing off Voldemort for killing Harry? You know he’d probably torture and kill you for it, right? If he could, that is. Harry killed him.”

“I don’t give a fuck about him,” Goyle snapped, taking another step. He was close to invading her space now and had already passed through her shield easily. It was meant to prevent magical attacks and therefore did nothing for her when he just stepped past it so casually. “I can do what I like as a Death Eater, Granger, including you.”

Alexia felt a wave of nausea and tried to control her breathing. “You’re not going to touch me.”

“ _ Crucio _ !” 

“ _ Sectumsempra _ !” 

The spells hit both of them at the same time. The torture ended swiftly and they both fell down, though he fell on top of her as the spell sliced him open and pulled his blood to the surface. The shield keeping everyone back fell and they rushed forward to help her. It was Lucius that shoved him off of her and pulled her into his lap. She was already soaked in blood and he paid it no mind, frowning at her unconscious state. 

“He’s dead,” Regulus breathed, staring down at Goyle’s bleeding body. “She killed him.”

“Hey,” Lucius whispered as she began breathing heavier, obviously awake. “You’re safe.”

“No,” she whispered, letting out a whimper. When her eyes opened again, her breath caught as she stared up into Lucius’s eyes. She was obviously confused and scared and apparently, unable to speak again. 

“You’re safe,” Lucius told her again. “A lot has happened. Can you tell me what year you think it is?”

She seemed to struggle before she finally spoke. “1994.”

“Okay,” he nodded slowly. “You have a time turner right?”

Alexia nodded shortly, confused. 

“There was an accident,” he explained. “You were sent back in time but you’re safe. No one here would hurt you. We just want to help you calm down.”

Alexia looked around at the people in front of her and then down at herself. When she saw the blood, she gasped, stiffening. “Is that… my blood?”

No one was sure what answer would even be the best for her. 

“No,” Regulus told her honestly. “Someone tried to hurt you but you’re safe now.”

“Who…” she trailed off as she finally caught sight of Goyle. She let out a short sob. “No, not again…”

“He didn’t touch you,” Sirius told her firmly. “You’re okay. Probably sore but otherwise fine.”

“Hermione,” Lucius whispered. She looked back at him and he stroked her cheek gently, ignoring the blood. The touch was surprisingly calming and she leaned into it. “As soon as you calm down, you will remember everything. I promise.”

“What about Crabbe?” she asked softly. “He’s still…”

“He won’t touch you again,” Sirius said firmly. “He can’t get to you here, kitten.”

“Oh,” she breathed. It took her a long moment of calming words and gentle touches before she relaxed enough to come back to herself. When she did, she sat up abruptly and looked down at Goyle, wincing in pain. 

“Shit,” she whispered. “I shouldn’t have killed him here. I should have fucking waited. What the hell am I supposed to do with him?”

“Shove him in a box and walk away,” Sirius suggested. Alexia paused. 

“The vanishing cabinet,” she muttered. “That should work.” 

“Lexi, who is he?” Regulus asked her gently. She paused and looked at Goyle’s dead body. 

“Someone that hurt me a long time ago,” she answered. “He should’ve been dead. We were trying to escape and he… I watched him fall.”

“Are you okay?” Gideon asked her gently. She offered him a smile. 

“I just need my potions. Why don’t we duel another day? I need to take care of this and… probably take a shower. It isn’t long until it’s my turn, anyway.”

“Ash, you don’t have to,” Sirius told her firmly. “We can call it off. The guys will understand.”

“I have put way too much into this to call it off now,” she told him. “Really, I’m fine. You guys get out of here. Lucius can help me.”

“I’m checking on you later,” Fabian told her. At her nod, the twins left. 

“I’ll come sit with you during your turn,” Sirius offered. She waved him ahead and he left, only glancing back at her in worry once. Finally, she looked to Regulus, who was staring at her openly.

“Reg?” 

“What was that spell?”

Alexia blinked. “What?”

“The spell you used, that you hit him with,” he explained, nodding at Goyle’s body. 

“Oh,” she frowned. “I’ve actually never used it before. It just was the first to come to mind. I probably should’ve  _ Avada _ ’d him but…” she shook her head, getting back to his question. “My friend Harry found it in a borrowed potions book in our sixth year. Apparently, Severus makes it at some point.”

“You were trying to kill him.”

“Regulus-,”

“It’s okay,” Alexia said, interrupting Lucius. She looked to Regulus and nodded once. “Yes, I was. He did some really fucked up things, not just to me but to a lot of people. He said it himself, he didn’t care about the war he was fighting or the cause he was fighting for. He cared that it allowed him to do the horrible things he wanted to do, the sort of things he did to me and… possibly many others. He’s the one that cast the Fiendfyre. If I hadn’t killed him, if he got out into the past, he would’ve gone to Voldemort and told him about me, about the future, and  _ everything _ would be ruined. I’d probably be captured, tortured, and killed and it’s likely that my friends and family would be, too.” 

“I understand,” he promised. 

“I’m sorry… you had to see it,” she winced. 

“I guess it hadn’t really sunk in that when you and Sirius said war, you meant  _ war _ . Killing people, death, torture…”

Alexia shrugged. She wasn’t sure what she could say to comfort him, mostly because she was having an extremely difficult time holding herself together already. Regulus seemed to understand because he said nothing more and only offered her a weak smile and left. 

As soon as he was gone, she squeezed her eyes shut and wrapped her arms around herself. She could feel her breathing quicken but was unable to stop it as the entire situation settled in. She felt arms wrap around her and pull her to her feet and away from the blood pooled on the ground that had stained her legs and part of her shorts. She felt a potion being tipped down her throat and gasped when the panic began to slowly dissipate until she came back to reality. Her head fell onto Lucius’s shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her. 

“Where did- where are we?” she asked, peeking an eye open to spot the spacious and relaxing room around them. There was a bed, a couch, some chairs, a table, and some bookshelves spread out around them. “I didn’t… I didn’t even realize we moved.”

“We didn’t,” he assured her. “I asked the room to change. Apparently, it only listens to me when I’m trying to help you.”

“But where are we? What is this?” 

“I was only in your room for a minute and I was not interested in looking around,” he explained slowly. “This would be my bedroom.”

Alexia nodded a little. “Can we get off the floor? I don’t- I need to find my potions. What did you give me?”

“Only a calming draught,” he said as he helped her to her feet again and over to the bed, which was closest to them. She breathed out in relief when she laid back on it instead of sitting as he intended. While she tried to relax, he dug into her bag for her potions and handed them over. “I think it would be a good idea to go see Madame Pomfrey. She did say you should see her if it ever happens again and you didn’t go after Dolohov.”

Alexia stared down at the slightly illuminate purple potion in her hand. “What’s wrong with me? I never used to get in so much danger. That was Harry. But here, I’m… always hurt somehow. I feel so weak and helpless. It’s driving me fucking crazy.”

“I disagree,” he told her gently. “I think you got hurt just as much before but you cared more about Harry than yourself.” 

Alexia shrugged quietly. “Harry was  _ important _ .” 

“Are you suggesting that you aren’t?”

She shook her head quietly. “I think we need to get my parents.”

“Your parents?”

“When I go to Madame Pomfrey, she’s going to see that none of this blood is mine and that there’s way too much,” she explained softly. Before he could respond, she cast a patronus. “To mum and dad, only if they’re alone, please. Um… something happened. I’m fine, everyone is fine, but they’re going to call you here and I need your help. I’ll be in the infirmary.”

Alexia watched with Lucius as the patronus disappeared from the room. “What do we do about his body?”

“Leave it for now,” Lucius suggested. “Dumbledore might have a better idea than the vanishing cabinet. Let’s just get you to the infirmary.”

She nodded and let him help her out of the room. It was only when they ran across James that they realized a problem neither had thought about.

“ _ Holy shit _ ,” James shouted, running over. “What happened? I felt it, Lex, you were so fucking scared. You’re not… hurt?”

“A little,” she told him. “I’ll be okay. I called Mum and Dad, they’re coming to meet me in the infirmary. Do you have the cloak?”

James reached into his backpack and grabbed it out, handing it over. “Whose blood is that, Lex?”

“It doesn’t matter,” she muttered. “Where were you going?”

“We were looking for you,” he explained. “Moony has the map. My turn is in a few minutes, but we can skip it if-,”

“Stop it,” Alexia scowled. “Sirius said the same thing. Go take your turn. I’ll be there in an hour, I promise.”

James looked to Lucius in concern. “Is she really okay?”

“She will be,” Lucius nodded. James looked back to his sister and gave her a light hug, kissed her cheek, and ran back toward the stairs. Once the cloak was over the couple, they made their way quickly through the castle until they reached the deserted hall the infirmary was down. Alexia removed the cloak and stuffed it into her bag and let her boyfriend lead her into the large room. 

“Lexi!” 

“Mum?” she blinked in surprise. “I didn’t think you’d be here already.” 

“We left right away,” her father told her, leading her to a bed. Dorea looked at the blood covering Lucius as well and frowned. 

“That isn’t her blood.”

“No.”

“Oh, dear,” Madame Pomfrey gasped as she caught sight of them. “Who is hurt?”

“Just Alexia,” Lucius promised. “It was the  _ Cruciatus _ . It only lasted for a moment.” 

While the witch went to retrieve the necessary potions, Dorea and Charlus came to her bedside and Charlus grabbed her hand. “What happened? Who did this?”

“It’s- it’s hard to explain,” she frowned, shaking her head. “There’s this room, the Room of Requirement-,”

“We know of it and what it can do,” Charlus assured her. 

“Well during the final battle, my friends and I got into a fight in there,” she explained slowly, not caring that Madame Pomfrey could hear her. She was fairly certain Dumbledore had told her where Alexia came from the day she’d arrived in 1971. The seasoned mediwitch paid her words no attention and simply gave her the required potions and did her scans. She was given another calming draught and was able to calm down enough to think clearly to explain. “One of the boys we were fighting cast Fiendfyre, apparently trying to kill  _ me _ . I didn’t- we couldn’t let them die in there so we tried to save them but he fell and we weren’t able to save him. We got the doors closed and didn’t think twice about it when the fire didn’t spread out of the room. 

“I wanted to fix the room, just to do something to help before I go back there. Sirius, Regulus, and Lucius put out the fire and when we went inside… he was still there. I didn’t know it was possible and I really thought he’d died. He tried to torture me and-,” Alexia stopped, glancing at Madame Pomfrey, who had moved back to her office to call for Dumbledore. Understanding, Dorea put up a privacy ward for her. “I killed him.” 

“Oh, sweetheart,” Dorea sighed sadly, patting her leg. “I’m so sorry.”

“You said Sirius and Regulus were there?” Charlus asked, all business. She supposed that the situation would likely be one for the department of mysteries so it was fitting that he was there. 

“Yes. Um, so were Fabian and Gideon. They all know the truth. Jamie doesn’t- he- he saw us. I got the cloak from him. I don’t even know what to tell him.”

“We’ll take care of it,” Dorea assured her. “Don’t you worry about that.” 

“What spell did you use?” Charlus wondered. 

“One that doesn’t exist yet,” Alexia winced. “I should’ve just  _ Avada _ ’d him, I know, but it was the first one that came to mind. I think- I was thinking about it on the way here and I think we should just leave him there, not summon that room again. I can deal with it when I get back to my time.”

“That would be fitting,” Charlus agreed. “You need to talk to your friends and ensure they won’t spread this around. A body of a boy who isn’t born yet would be… catastrophic.”

“I know, dad,” she assured him. “I’ll talk to them but I trust them.”

“Well, dear, if you’re alright then I suggest you go shower and change,” Dorea told her gently. “Not to cut our visit short but I assume you do not wish to deal with Dumbledore.”

Alexia made a face. “I think I’d rather ride a broom through Fiendfyre again than face Dumbledore.” 

Charlus looked to Lucius. “You will get her there safely?”

“I will.”

* * *

Alexia walked up to the top of the steps with Sirius, doing her best not to roll her eyes at him. “Seriously, Padfoot, I’m fine.”

“He tortured you,” Sirius said.

“Thanks, I remember.”

“Seriously, kitten, when was the last time you saw him in person?”

Alexia paused and shook her head. “Three years. Before that… just under a year. But he’s dead now, Sirius. My biggest concern is beating you idiots at this and winning three marks.”

Sirius let out a huff and helped her up the last set of stairs to sit where James was waiting for her. 

“You look better,” her brother commented. “Mum and Dad came to talk to me. They told me what happened.”

“They did?” she asked in surprise. He nodded a little.

“Lex, I’m not-,” he cut himself off and frowned, trying to gather the right words. “It would be naive of me to think that you haven’t… killed. I just… I know how much you hate thinking of that stuff and I guess I’m sorry you had to do it again. And I know they said it wouldn’t happen again, but what if someone else finds you here?”

“They won’t,” she assured him, getting in position while Sirius quietly reset the timer for her. “I know this guy, he- he wouldn’t have told anyone else. Couldn’t have. I guess you could say he was just as cut off and alone as I was before Dumbledore took me to you and mum and dad.”

“Ready, Ash?” Sirius asked. She nodded and he started the timer. “Go!” 

From then on, the two boys sat with her and talked as she got into a rhythm and pushed the muggle toys down the stairs. It was a good distraction from the earlier events of the day and she managed to focus solely on going as fast as she could. By the end of her hour, she knew she’d lost but she also didn’t care. The satisfaction at finishing the project was too complete to feel disappointed. James had won, and he stood proudly with his friends as they put the three marks under his name. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weirdly enough, posting chapters of Alexia does not make me want to write multiverse, but instead, I want to continue writing my new Doctor Who fic. Like. I won't do either, but still.


	21. Double Sided

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexia tells Regulus about joining Voldemort. He does not like it.

**Chapter Twenty-One**

_ Night falls from gravity _

_ The earth turns from sanity _

_ Taking my only friend I know, _

_ He lives a lie, his name is Hope. _

**September 8th, 1974**

Alexia sat in Dumbledore’s office twirling her wand in her hand, waiting. She’d received the request to meet directly after the Welcoming Feast a week earlier and everything in her wanted to decline. It was only when the twins had pointed out that it could be important that she’d reluctantly agreed. 

Four months earlier, she would’ve scoffed at the idea of him having anything to say to her that she would consider important. She’d have declined the invitation and ignored him to the best of her ability.

And then the first attacks had begun. 

The summer had been a hard one. The first attack had been one she’d been there for. It had been on Diagon Alley and she’d fought. She’d glamoured herself to look older and different and then had fought for a full two hours until the six Death Eaters had disappeared or been captured. 

From then on, she’d stayed in her room, talked little, and jumped every time someone approached her. Her episodes had gotten worse again and she’d been brought once more to a mind healer who she once more told to stay away from her mind. Going back to school was equally a relief and completely terrifying. She was glad to be away from the concern and overbearing love but she was also worried about how she’d react to being around so many people. 

The door behind her opened and she turned to see Dumbledore and… Aberforth. 

“Professor,” she raised an eyebrow. 

“Miss Potter, this is my brother, Aberforth,” Albus introduced. She nodded hello at the surly man and turned back to Dumbledore. 

“No offense, Professor, but I don’t really want to be here so if it’s important, please explain quickly.”

Aberforth let out a short laugh. “You’re right, I  _ do _ like her.”

“Of course,” Albus smiled, sitting down. She felt her eye twitch when her sharp words didn’t even make him blink. “I suppose I’ll be blunt, then. Following the attacks this past summer, I have decided to form the Order of the Phoenix.”

Alexia felt a breath sucked out of her. Some emotion she couldn’t put a name to filled her and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to run away or cry or possibly do both. “I see. Why am I here?”

“Because I hoped you could help us,” he explained. “Help us to avoid some unnecessary deaths.”

Alexia’s lips thinned. “You  _ really _ think that after telling fucking Croaker-,”

“I hoped,” he interrupted. “That you would work with my brother.”

“And you went behind my back again and told someone else that you don’t even know if I trust,” she accused, glaring at Albus. “You really think this will make me want to help you?”

“You knew him,” Albus suggested. Alexia shrugged. 

“We met a few times. He saved my life once during the final battle.”

“I don’t think Albus should have this shit either,” Aberforth told her with a grunt. “It’s the only damn reason I agreed to come.”

She considered him and looked to Albus. “So what are you suggesting here?”

“I am merely suggesting that you work with him to outline the war and see if you can spot any deaths that you can change.”

Alexia scoffed. “This coming from the man that was  _ so _ disapproving of Sirius’s Vow? What changed?”

“I believe that time is strong and perhaps impossible to change but that if we can, we should try to save those that we can,” he explained. “I believe I was wrong in disapproving of your choice to attempt to change time.”

“So you just want me to sit down with Aberforth and tell him how the entire war will go? What if we change something that ruins everything?”

“That is why you will only change seemingly unimportant deaths,” Albus explained. The words disgusted her. The idea that any casualty of war was unimportant was infuriating. 

Alexia looked between the brothers and sighed. “Fine. You are going to uphold your promise about my mark, correct?”

“I will,” he assured her. “As a matter of fact, I’d like you to join the Order.”

She let out a short laugh. “I’m supposed to be fourteen.”

“You will not come to meetings, of course,” Albus shook his head. “You will get the mark and Aberforth will tell you what has happened when you meet with him.”

Alexia pushed her sleeve up and showed him her arm. “I already have the mark.”

Albus waved his wand over it, amazed. “This was given to you by Sirius Black.”

She shrugged. “I was staying with him and he couldn’t tell me anything because of an oath, so he gave me the mark and told me what was going on. I was fifteen then, I think.”

“Well, regardless, I will need to give you another one,” he told her. “One with my magical signature that others, in an emergency, with recognize.”

“Fine,” she sighed. “And what will you do with any information you  _ do _ get?”

“I will give you a code name,” he told her. “Hermione should fit, I believe.”

“My mark,” she nodded, referring to the gentle Hermione flowers that she’d made her mark. “You’ll tell them it’s mine?”

“I will,” he agreed. “I will tell the Order that you’re a Seer and pass the information to them that way.”

Alexia sighed and nodded. “Okay, fine. But I refuse to meet during Hogsmeade weekends. This is the first real childhood I’ve gotten and you’re not messing that up again.”

“You are free to go whenever you like as long as you meet once a week,” Albus confirmed. 

“Great.”

* * *

**October 2nd, 1974**

Alexia sat on the bed across from Lily, painting her nails. The rest of the girls, Alice, Mary, and Emmaline, were all out, giving them a rare moment alone. 

“I don’t get it,” Lily sighed. “He was doing so well on that date, Lexi. Better than you expected. Why did he have to hex Sev?”

“I dunno, Lils,” Alexia sighed, cleaning up the corner of Lily’s nail. “Sometimes he just doesn’t understand. He doesn’t really think he’s doing anything wrong. I honestly think this still has something to do with him thinking Sev knocked me down in Diagon Alley.”

“That was before first year!” Lily exclaimed. Alexia paused when her eyes caught on something running across the floor and hiding under the bed. She put her finger to her lips and looked at her friend seriously. Lily nodded a little, surprised, and watched as Alexia shifted into her fox form. 

Alexia waited until the familiar rat ran out from under the bed and headed toward the dresser. She sped at him and pounced, catching him in her mouth. He struggled and she growled. She knew he understood that he’d really messed up. Alexia jumped onto her bed again and dropped Peter. Lily dumped out the bag that held her nail things and shoved it on top of the rat while Alexia shifted back. 

“Merlin, that was impressive,” Lily laughed shakily. “Mary would’ve freaked if she saw a rat in here.”

Alexia glared at the bag and held her hands out. “Move it.”

“But-,”

“Move it, Lily.” Lily did as she asked and Alexia caught Peter before he could run away and levitated him to the middle of the room with one hand. With the other, she cast another spell. “ _ Ad Hominem _ .”

The rat twisted into Peter and Alexia let him fall hard on the floor. 

“You disgusting rat!” Alexia shouted, likely loud enough for even those in the common room to hear her. “What the fuck are you doing here? I swear to god, I’m going to  _ destroy _ you! Better yet,  _ Jamie _ will-,”

“Lex?” 

Alexia smiled at Peter, a terrifying contrast to her sparking hair. 

“Ash,  _ please _ -,”

Alexia levitated him again to the door. “Out of the way, Jamie, I have a gift for you.”

“Uh, okay,” he called. When she peeked out the door and saw he’d moved, she shoved her hand outward and released the spell, tossing Peter down the stairs. She hesitated but caught him before he hit the ground too hard. She stormed down the stairs to find the rest of her friends staring at her. 

“This  _ rat _ was running through our dorm room!” She exclaimed. 

“I was just-,”

Alexia waved her hand at his mouth angrily, silencing him. 

“Pete,” James said, his voice low. “Tell me you didn’t go up there again.”

“ _ Again _ ?”

“You’re a fucking creep,” Sirius scowled at their friend in disgust. “What the hell were you doing up there?”

“I’m taking him to McGonagall,” Alexia told her friends. When they went to argue, she glared them silent. “I won’t mention that he’s an Animagus, you idiots. I’m also not letting him get away with this.”

“But-,”

“No,” she huffed, levitating him again before he could do anything. She ignored them and stomped out of the common room, heading down a flight of stairs to McGonagall’s office. 

“Miss Potter!” the woman exclaimed. “Put him down right now!” 

Alexia did her best not to drop Peter too hard despite how much she wanted to. “I found him sneaking around in my dorm room. Lily will confirm that. I don’t know how he got up there but the next time I see him there, I’m going to hex him.”

McGonagall’s lips thinned and she sat down again. “I see. You have no clue how he got there?”

Alexia eyed Peter. The urge to tell the woman that he was an animagus nearly overcame her but she pushed it down. “No.”

“Well, you are dismissed,” McGonagall told her with a shake of her head. Alexia nodded a little and, with one more glare at Peter, she fled the room and made her way down to the library. She knew it would be harder to calm down if she went back to Gryffindor, so she walked into the library and sat down with Regulus, dropping her head onto the table. He looked up at her, marking his page.

“What is it?”

“Peter got into my dorm,” she muttered. “I gave him to McGonagall but I’m liable to murder him if I see him again anytime soon.”

“ _ How _ ?” Regulus asked her in shock. “I thought that was supposed to be impossible.”

Alexia shrugged. “If he did it once, he can do it again. If I find him in there again, I’ll transfigure him into a rock and drop him in the Black Lake, damn the timelines.”

“You knew him?”

Alexia picked her head up and glanced at her friend tiredly. “Yes, I did. Not fondly. He died a few weeks before I got sent here.”

“ _ That’s _ why you don’t like him,” Regulus realized. “You know something about him.”

“Something really fucking shitty,” she confirmed. “He- it…” Alexia trailed off, shaking her head sadly. She hated thinking about the day her brother would die, which meant she hated being around Peter. “Fuck.”

“If he was in your dorm, maybe your friends know how he got in there,” Regulus suggested, trying to gently move the conversation away from what was obviously a bad memory. Alexia offered him a small smile. 

“I doubt it. Hopefully, he isn’t foolish enough to try it again. If it didn’t threaten the timelines, I already would’ve dropped him in the lake. Maybe I will, just for a day or two.”

“Alexia,  _ no _ .”

* * *

**October 12th, 1974**

Alexia pulled her cloak tighter around her and sped into the pub, letting the door slam closed behind her as she made her way to the bar, settling down in front of Aberforth, who grunted a hello at her and set down the cup in his hands. 

The pair had been working backward on the war, something that helped to jog her memory on the early parts as they moved closer. They’d only met twice so far because of various scheduling issues that had been fixed by Aberforth closing the bar every Saturday morning for a couple of hours to talk. 

“Let’s get right into it,” he told her. “There’s another Order meeting today.”

“What happened last time?” she wondered, shedding her cloak. She’d put her hair in double braids and threw them over her shoulders to focus on the conversation ahead. 

“Our spy has informed us that they’re looking to approach the Black brothers over Christmas,” he told her. “Lucius Malfoy as well, so watch out with him.”

“He’s harmless.”

“He is not.”

“Okay, he’s harmless to  _ me _ . For now.” 

“Other kids your age have been approached, mostly because of their parents. Yaxley and Avery being among them. Your next Hogsmeade weekend is going to see a raid on the town so keep your friends back.” 

“And how am I supposed to explain why?”

“No damn clue.”

“Thanks.”

“Your mark has been spread to the Order and connected to Albus’s marks, so you can relax about that. Moody is giving the same information out to his trusted Aurors and hit wizards,” Aberforth continued. “Your parents are still trying to get Dolohov arrested, by the way. My brother is doing his best to put a stop to it.”

Alexia rubbed her face tiredly. “Mum told me we couldn’t afford to do something like that.”

“With the Dolohov family officially marked dark and a threat by the ministry, it seems they’ve changed their minds. An attack against the daughter of one of the strongest houses would, admittedly, be an unforgivable thing.”

“Couldn’t I just have a normal life for ten minutes?”

“No.”

* * *

**October 15th, 1974**

Lucius pulled his fingers gently through Alexia’s hair, looking down at her closed eyes. Her head was in his lap and she’d been reading nearly an hour earlier, only to fall asleep quickly. He’d marked the page for her and set the book aside, relishing in the time to just watch her. 

It startled him how relaxed she was. He’d found her asleep in the Room of Requirement before after a long night of studying and had noted each time that she was tense. She’d also woken up quickly at the slightest sound, so it surprised him how deeply she was sleeping. 

“Stop staring,” she muttered, her sleepy voice soft. She didn’t bother opening her eyes, comfortable where she was. “How long was I asleep?”

“An hour,” he answered quietly. “I marked your page.”

“Mm,” she smiled. “I love you.”

“For marking your page.”

“Yeah.”

“I love you, too.”

Alexia opened her eyes and looked up at him. “Aberforth said they’ll be coming for you soon.” 

Lucius stiffened, his small smile slipping from his lips. “Why would Aberforth tell you-,”

“I joined the Order,” she interrupted, pausing. “Again. Abe and I have been talking. He keeps me updated on Order meetings and who Voldemort is looking at, which includes Sirius, Regulus, and you.”

“We knew it was starting,” he reminded them both. He would admit to being a bit afraid. “Alexia, do you know anything about joining him?”

She considered his question quietly. “Yes, I do.”

“What do you know?”

“I know that saying no to him is… near impossible. I don’t know too much about the mark itself aside from the fact that it is extremely painful to receive and that to get it, you have to-,” she cut off and sighed, pulling herself to sit up and look in his eyes. “You have to kill someone.”

Lucius’s eyes closed, though he nodded shortly. “How do you know?”

“Aberforth,” she answered simply. “I don’t… know what to do. I want to tell you not to do it-,”

“It will be okay,” he assured her gently, reaching out to touch her cheek. “You should warn Regulus and Sirius.”

“I will,” she sighed. “I wanted to tell you first.”

“I will be okay.”

Alexia looked at his face sadly and didn’t bother replying. They both knew that, for a long time, he wouldn’t be. There was nothing they could do about it, though, which left them both feeling powerless and just a bit angry.

* * *

Sirius sat on his bed as Padfoot, his head resting on top of his paws. He’d been there all day and had refused to leave despite his friends’ numerous attempts to get him out of the room. He’d been in a foul mood since being informed he’d be going back to Grimmauld Place for Christmas and was ashamed to admit he’d even shouted at Alexia when she came to check on him, something that just made his mood darker. 

He’d avoided his childhood home to the best of his ability since going to Hogwarts, but it seemed his luck had run out. A part of him considered sneaking off to Potter Manor anyway, but the rest of him knew Walburga would only storm over there and throw a fit, and he didn’t want the only true family he had to be forced to deal with the nasty woman. 

The last Christmas he’d spent at Grimmauld Place had been… depressing. He hadn’t been sorted into Gryffindor yet, so his parents had gifted him with a green and black wand holster with the Slytherin crest on it, something he’d thrown straight into the fire after they’d left the room. Walburga had given him a long speech about blood purity and the sorts of friends she wanted him to make in school. Ironically, she’d specifically named Lucius Malfoy. He wondered if she’d be proud that they spent time together often, if only for Alexia’s sake. Probably not. 

There was a knock on the door and he picked up his head, growling in preparation for whichever Marauder was ready to risk being bitten next. To his surprise, though, it was Regulus. The boy rolled his eyes at him and closed the door behind him, locking it shut. 

“This is extremely childish,” Regulus accused. “Shift back.”

Sirius set his head onto his paws again, ignoring his brother. 

“You can’t skip all of your classes,” the boy tried. “Mother will punish you for that, too. It’s one Christmas, Sirius, you can handle that.”

Sirius shifted back, scowling at his brother as he got to his feet to meet him in the middle of the room. “I’d rather jump into the Black Lake than spend a Christmas with her. Something’s happening, Reg.”

“She probably just wants to straighten you out,” Regulus reasoned. “A few lessons in dark magic. You can handle that.”

“But I don’t want to!” Sirius threw his hands up. “Fuck, Reg, you don’t even get it. I  _ can _ and I probably  _ will _ , but I don’t want to. Not because I’m being pathetic or weak for not wanting to put up with it but because the Potters are better! They’re kind, Regulus. They love me. It’s entirely different. So yeah, I can. But I got away from her toxic bullshit for three years at Christmas and I don’t want to go back. I deserve-  _ we _ deserve to be fucking happy and safe and loved and not taught that pureblood dark magic bullshit.”

“Well, we don’t have a choice, do we?” Regulus asked stiffly. “You’re right, I  _ don’t _ get it. I don’t have the Potters, I just have the choice to survive or fight back like you do and I made my choice. We both rebel, they’ll kill us and give the heir title to Bella’s firstborn or something. One of us, we’re the best chance at getting this House out of hell. So just suck it the fuck up because we have a job to do.”

“No one fucking listens to me,” Sirius glared. “I don’t  _ want _ to be the heir. I  _ refuse _ to be Lord Black. You can have it, I don’t fucking care.”

“Fine,” Regulus said, looking both calm and furious. “Do what you want. Spend your days as a dog, skip class, get hexed, I don’t care. Just remember this was your choice. Whatever happens this Christmas, this summer, whatever they ever do to you, it’s on you.”

“But it isn’t!” Sirius exclaimed angrily, frustrated that his brother just didn’t get it. “I’m a  _ child _ . You’re a child! They shouldn’t be treating us like this! It’s on them, Reg, because they’re the ones hurting and threatening us! Fuck, you need to spend some time with the Potters.”

“It doesn’t  _ matter _ whose fault it is,” Regulus bit out, his anger overwhelming him. Sirius didn’t understand it at all. “We are where we are, Sirius. We can’t just change that! No matter how much time you spend with the Potters, you’re always going to be the Black heir. You’re always going to be a disappointment to Mother and that won’t change until you learn to fight smart and not with your bloody heart.”

“Whatever,” Sirius waved at him. “Get out, Reg.”

Regulus scowled and stormed from the room, slamming the door shut behind him. He ignored the stares of various Gryffindors as he left their common room. Sirius had such a strong sense of right and wrong that he couldn’t even see that it didn’t matter - right or wrong, they were going to be hurt no matter what. 

“Reg!” Alexia exclaimed when he accidentally hit her shoulder, walking so fast that he sent her to the floor. Her voice startled him out of his fury and he cursed, reaching down to help her up. She looked at him in concern, pushing some of his hair out of his eyes gently. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“Sirius,” Regulus managed shortly. Alexia winced. 

“He’s still pouting? Did he manage to tell anyone  _ why _ ?”

“Because he has to come home for Christmas,” Regulus answered her. She froze and he frowned. “What? Do you know something about that?”

“Actually, I do,” she nodded slowly. “Maybe we should talk about this with Sirius-,”

“No,” Regulus snapped. She blinked and he took a second to calm himself. “I do not wish to see him again today.”

“Okay, well…” she frowned and grabbed his hand, pulling him down the hall to an empty classroom. When the door was shut, she gave him a grim look. “Voldemort is going to try to recruit you both.”

“I see,” he breathed. It made sense. Sirius was heir, so he’d be wanted the most. Suddenly, Regulus was genuinely worried for his brother’s safety. “Perhaps he shouldn’t come home.”

“He has to,” Alexia said reluctantly. “I’d love to keep him safe, both of you safe, but I can’t. Legally, Walburga could destroy the Potters for ‘kidnapping’ the Black heir if he stayed with us without her permission.” 

“You’re right, of course,” he agreed tiredly. She looked at him sadly and, to his surprise, grabbed his arm, pulling him into a tight hug. “Lexi?”

“Sorry,” she breathed, not releasing. “It’s just- it’s starting, and I- I’m scared for you. I don’t want you to have to- to-,”

“I know,” he told her softly, rubbing her back. “Would it help if I told you that without you here, I would do the same thing?”

She pulled back, her hands on her shoulders, and looked at him in surprise. “Really?”

“Sirius and I are very different people, Lexi,” he told her slowly. “I know that I’ll probably do really shitty things, but… I need to keep myself safe.”

“But it  _ isn’t _ safe.”

“Safer than if I denied him.”

Alexia couldn’t argue that. “I don’t want you to fight a war. I don’t want you to have to hurt people, to kill… I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” he reminded her, hugging her again. She was a very tactile person, he knew, and while he generally avoided being too touchy with her since she was dating Lucius, he also knew she needed touch to feel grounded. “Will you… tell me what it’s like?”

Alexia pulled away and looked at him, considering his request seriously. She didn’t want to burden anyone with thoughts of the war, but since she was pushing him into the war, she thought it was only fair he know what was ahead of him. “What do you want to know?”

“Bella said… getting the mark is like the  _ Cruciatus _ . What is that… like?”

Alexia breathed in deep. “Merlin, it would’ve been easier if you asked me what it’s like to kill someone.”

“That too.”

“Okay… you know what the  _ Cruciatus _ does?”

“Mental and physical, right?”

“Right,” she confirmed. “It feels like every individual piece of your being, your body and mind, are being slowly killed. The mental part… it can change memories, shift them into something more terrible than their truth, but if you have enough bad memories, things that really fucked you up, you’d just see those on repeat. That’s what happened to me.”

“What did you see?”

“No.”

Regulus winced. “I’m sorry, that was insensitive. What is it like… after?”

“The first few minutes after it’s lifted are the worst,” she explained slowly. “It’s like a ghost pain. Your body relaxes as soon as the curse is lifted, but you can still feel the curse. The shaking is… one of the hardest parts. You try to bunch yourself up, you know, to stop the shaking, but that can cause permanent damage to your body. The rest, the long-term pain, it all depends on how bad of a Crucio it is and how long it was held for. For me, I’ve gone through a lot of torture, Bellatrix and Dolohov being the worst of them, not to mention Umbridge. My damage is extensive and will last a pretty long time. I’ve never been able to do the physical therapy for it for varying reasons, and once it became possible, it wouldn’t have helped anymore. I manage with constant potions that’ll take me longer to get off of every time it happens again, even for a moment. Dolohov really fucked my recovery. Goyle made it worse.”

“Shit,” Regulus breathed, running his fingers through his hair the same way Sirius often did. “And- and killing?”

“Can be easy,” she admitted quietly. “I try to, you know, mostly use the Killing Curse just because it’s quick and causes the least amount of pain, but I’ve done less immediate and harmful things to stay safe.”

“Like what?”

“Reg-,”

“Lexi, please,” he begged. “I just- you’ve done this. I want to know… what to expect. I’m… scared.”

Alexia grimaced but nodded. “I’ve thrown a piece of the falling castle at someone. It crushed them. I used a cutting hex to cut a throat before. I threw someone off a cliff, essentially. I used this one dark curse I found in your library that just… vanishes every internal organ in a body. Obviously I used Sectumsempra last year. Ah… I don’t remember all of it, honestly. After a while… it’s easier. They say it isn’t, but it kind of is.”

“Fuck.”

“Keep in mind, most of these are during the final battle,” she assured him hurriedly. “There shouldn’t be a battle like that in this time, in this first war. Most likely, you’ll be targeting muggles and muggleborns, maybe halfbloods and some blood traitors. I need you to be prepared for the possibility of having to torture someone.”

“I can’t… torture. Not after you described it like that.”

“I’ve hit someone with a  _ Crucio _ once.”

Regulus stared at her, his mouth dropping open and snapping shut in surprise. “You have?”

Alexia nodded, remembering the incident. “It was sort of an accident, but it was the first curse that came to mind that would prevent him from following us. We were outed by the minister of the time, I think, and a bunch of Death Eaters showed up at my friends’ wedding reception. He just- he wouldn’t let go of me and I had to. To stay safe, Reg. Whatever you do during this war, it’s to protect yourself. I know that.”

“I’m going to get hurt,” he told her after a moment. “No one doesn’t get hurt in a war, right?”

Alexia nodded. “For the most part, yeah.”

“Can you… you don’t have to, Lexi, but could you tell me a little bit of what happened to you? I just… I just want to know.”

Alexia hesitated. She didn’t really feel like sharing everything with him if she were being honest. She had only told him so much already because she felt a large amount of guilt for his joining Voldemort. But at the same time… he was right. He’d be hurt and she thought he had a right to be aware of how.

“Let’s see. There was a lot of the Crucio. Um… my first experience with it was in my fifth year. It’s a long story. It’s always a little bit different depending on who casts it. There are also… cursed blades,” she winced. “Bellatrix carved a word into my arm when she tortured me that day. It’s gone now, thankfully, but still.”

“What word?”

“‘Mudblood,’” Alexia told him. He paled considerably, but she moved on by pushing her shirt up a little to show him the dark scar on her hip. “This is only so bad because Dolohov opened it up again using the same curse, but it’s a curse he created. He almost killed me with it twice.” She pushed her shirt up more until it showed the bottom of her mark and a few scars. “A shrapnel curse. These still hurt often, honestly.”

“That’s a nasty curse,” Regulus said softly. She watched him reach out to touch it, looking as if he didn’t even realize he was doing it. His eyes shifted to another scar a few inches below her still covered bra. “What about that?”

Alexia made a face and dropped her shirt. “Not from the war.  _ That _ was from the day Sirius and I were alone in Grimmauld Place and he got drunk and started breaking things. I heard him and went into the room just as he was tossing this ugly bowl at the door and it sort of… broke into me.”

“ _ Merlin _ ,” Regulus gasped. “Sirius gave you a scar?”

She rolled her eyes. “He was ridiculous about it, too. He offered me some of his firewhiskey for the pain, then try to pour some of it onto the injury.  _ Then _ he couldn’t find the first aid kit  _ or _ his wand, so he ended up taking me to a muggle hospital while he was still super fucking drunk. They called my parents.”

“Why were you staying with him?” Regulus wondered quietly. Alexia shifted. Talking about her parents made her uncomfortable, especially the longer she was away from them. 

“It’s sort of a long story. My parents and I… we didn’t get along. My dad started drinking a lot in my second year and my mom didn’t cope well, so she wasn’t home often. The difference between my dad and Sirius was… Sirius was  _ terrified _ when he accidentally hurt me. My dad was just pissed. So I stayed with Sirius a lot and then the Weasleys when Remus found out what happened and demanded he take him to a mind healer to get him to stop drinking as much.”

“I’m sorry,” he told her gently. She gave him a small, shaky smile. 

“I’ve never told anybody that. My friends never asked me about my family. They met them once before our second year, before it went to shit. I get  _ why _ things got bad. But my friends never thought to ask if… ah, I don’t know. It’s over. My parents don’t remember me anyway, so there’s no reason to dwell.”

“I won’t tell anyone,” he promised, grabbing her hand. She squeezed his hand gratefully. “Can I ask what happened?”

Alexia shifted to stand next to him leaning against a desk and rested her head against his shoulder. He was younger than her, but he’d grown at least three or four inches over summer, making him already taller than her. “In my second year, I was… um, I was petrified by a basilisk.”

“ _ What _ ?”

She let out a small laugh. “Yeah. For a couple months. And because I am- I  _ was _ a muggleborn, no one told my parents. I used to write them twice a week, so they knew pretty quick that something was wrong. They had no way to get in touch with anyone, though, so they were just stuck waiting for news. When I finally woke up and wrote them, it was… tough. They were upset with me. They tried to keep me from going back and we had a big fight, so I went to stay with friends for the last week of that summer. I avoided them as much as I could after that. Christmas, Easter, parts of summer were spent with friends or Sirius. It had the effect of making Sirius and I pretty close when he figured out why I was staying with him so much.”

“I’d tell you my parents are shit, but you already know,” he commented. “I’m glad you’re away from that, Lexi. You deserve better.”

She sighed tiredly. “Sure. I just wish I could’ve preserved their memories somehow. I had to Obliviate them before I could go on the run and since I didn’t know how to do it without destroying the memories and I couldn’t tell anyone… they don’t remember me. I planned on going to find them, just to see how they’re doing, you know, but then… I was sent here.”

“You’d think hearing about all of this would make me feel better about becoming a Death Eater,” Regulus laughed nervously. Alexia wrapped an arm around his shoulder comfortingly. 

“I know. I wish I could say it’ll be okay, but I can’t. If you ever need to talk about anything that happens, though, I’m always here. I get it.” 

“Thanks,” he smiled at her softly. “I might take you up on that sometime.”

* * *

**October 20th, 1974**

Gryffindor Quidditch tryouts were being held and while it was mostly a normal set of people trying out, there was one small, redheaded girl in the pitch standing between Sirius and James while they tried to comfort her. 

It had been the cause for quite a few arguments in the first two months of school for multiple reasons. Despite the disastrous date, Lily had allowed James to teach her to fly well  _ only _ because they’d taken oaths the night they played the Veritaserum or Dare and she  _ had _ to uphold her dare. 

Alexia sat in the stands next to Remus, cuddling up to him for warmth. With the full moon approaching, he was a human heater and she took advantage of that fact by using him for his warmth. He held her close when she began shivering, and they eyed Lily as she got up on her broom and began her turn. 

They were  _ shocked _ to find that she was actually incredible at the game. 

She was trying out for Chaser and she did quite well getting the ball into the goal despite the keeper trying to stop her. After about thirty minutes of her doing different drills with the others, she was dismissed and went to join Sirius and James, who had also tried out either with her or before her. 

It was another hour before the tryouts were finished, and Alexia and Remus made their way down to the pitch to listen as the Gryffindor captain, Corey Ross, called out the team. Sirius retained his position as beater and James as a chaser, and the same seeker and keeper was kept as the year before. When he finished, Alexia was already angry. 

“Hey, I have a question.”

Corey looked her over with a smirk. “See me after practice.”

“Oi!” James snapped. “That’s my sister!” 

“She’s fit.”

“She’s going to hurt you if you aren’t careful,” Sirius added. 

“I mean about your team placements,” Alexia explained with a much too sweet smile. “If that’s okay.”

“Of course, sweetheart, what is it?”

Remus and James both winced - they could feel her anger, disgust, and frustration and already knew nothing good was going to come of the conversation. 

“Travers scored four less points than Lily  _ and _ he couldn’t manage that weird obstacle course without knocking shit over. He’s not as good as her. Shouldn’t she have made the team?”

“Girls are welcome to try out, but they’re not really allowed on the team, love,” he explained slowly as if she were stupid. “She looked good up there, though.”

Alexia’s eyes flashed. “I checked every Quidditch rule that Hogwarts has and there are  _ no _ rules against women playing. I asked McGonagall, too, and then I even asked bloody Albus Dumbledore. Lily is allowed to play - Lily should play.”

“Leave it, Potter,” Travers snapped at her. She sneered at him. 

“You’re shit at Quidditch, Travers,” she shot back. “That’s Lily’s spot.”

“It’s okay,” Lily tried. She quieted at the glare she received. 

“It’s never been done before,” Ross explained to her, getting irritated. 

“Sure, and Quidditch hasn’t won the Cup in six years,” she shot back. “Maybe you would if you had a bloody good player on the team instead of Travers.”

“It’s not gonna happen, Potter!”

Alexia’s smile relaxed and she stepped closer. “I heard your father is requesting a formal seat on the Wizengamot next month. My father planned to vote for him, and you know how many votes we hold… it would be  _ awful _ if Daddy heard how fucking sexist you are.”

All of her friends stared at her in shock. 

Ross shifted and held her gaze for a moment before he looked at Travers sharply. “You’re out. Evans, you have a spot.”

Alexia grinned brightly. “Good idea, Ross.”

Once the team had been given their schedules and released, Alexia found herself being rushed back to the castle by all of her friends and her brother. 

“Dad would  _ kill _ you if he knew you did that,” James told her in horror. “That was… awful!”

“Dad would agree with me,” she argued. “I know Ross’s type, Jamie. Lily earned her spot, he was just being an ass.”

“That was bloody brilliant,” Sirius grinned at her. 

“Can we talk about the fact that I didn’t really want the spot?” Lily requested. The looks she got told her that no, they couldn’t. 

“If you’re done politically intimidating people three years older than you, I need a nap,” Remus told her tiredly. 

“Politically intimidating?”

Alexia let out a short shriek at the noise behind her and the hand that touched her hip. She spun around to see Lucius raising an eyebrow at her and she blushed. “Ross was being ridiculous, so I gave him a reason to give Lily the spot that she rightfully earned.”

“Actually, you sort of blackmailed him,” James reminded her. She rolled her eyes. 

“It’s his fault for believing me that Dad would retract his vote based on a Quidditch spot. Just about everyone knows we don’t do that shit.”

“We don’t, but you apparently do,” James disagreed. “Sounds more like something Sirius’s family would do.”

“Ew,” Sirius made a face. “Don’t say that. She’s nothing like them.”

“You  _ blackmailed the Quidditch captain _ ?” Lucius repeated with a disbelieving laugh. At her shrug, he shook his head. “I truly believe the only reason you are in Gryffindor at all is your brother. Everything about you is very Slytherin.”

“You said I have no self-preservation,” she reminded him offhandedly. He hummed. 

“That is a fair point, you do lack self-preservation.”

“I thought you fought a bloody vampire,” Sirius reminded her, referencing a part of the final battle that she’d let slip. “Fighting it seems like you don’t wanna die.”

“Tell him  _ why _ you were fighting it,” Lucius requested. Alexia made a face at him. 

“Because it was going to bite Harry.”

“So she got in a duel with it instead so Harry could escape,” Lucius finished. “No self-preservation.”

“Guys,” Lily interrupted, looking stressed. “How am I supposed to care about Quidditch  _ and _ school? I barely have time for anything!”

“Stop studying so much,” Sirius suggested. She shot him a glare and he shrugged. “Ask Malfoy, he does it.”

“I can help you work out a schedule,” he offered, mostly because the girl meant so much to Alexia. “Another day. When is your first practice?”

“Saturday,” James answered. 

“Tomorrow,” Lucius offered. “For now, I’d like to steal my beautiful girlfriend from you.”

“Ew,” James made a face. “Fine, but don’t be gross until you’re away from me."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone asked me to post more, so I will, because I fully forgot about posting chapters. My bad.


	22. When

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> RIP Alexia

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

_ I’ll live in the moment, _

_ But I’m never happy here _

_ I’m surrounded by greener looking time. _

**November 9th, 1974**

The study group of the day consisted of Alexia, Severus, and Regulus. Lily and Lucius were both busy with either tutoring or Quidditch, and Remus was sick in the infirmary and  _ very _ cranky about it. 

Alexia didn’t actually have any work to do, but she did not want to be around her fellow Marauders for the moment. Her patience with Peter had run out quickly after he snuck into her dorm. He’d apologized and it seemed James and Sirius in particular didn’t understand why she was still upset, despite also being disgusted by what the rat had done. The entire situation put her in a very bad mood, something that her Slytherin friends certainly seemed to notice.

“Okay, what is it?” Severus asked her, dropping his quill. She looked up at him in surprise. 

“What?”

“You have been glaring at that book for thirty minutes, Lexi. What’s going on?”

“I doubt you’d want to hear about it,” she waved him off. Regulus looked up at her and raised an eyebrow. 

“Is this still about Peter?”

“We could have been indecent!” she exclaimed, feeling vaguely attacked. “He was heading to my dresser, Reg. It’s disgusting.”

“What are you two talking about?” Severus asked, blinking between them. Regulus had a small, amused smile on his face, seemingly unaffected by the glare he was receiving from Alexia. 

“Last month, Pettigrew somehow snuck into her dorm,” Regulus explained. “He hasn’t done it since, has he?”

“No, but he could if he wanted to.”

“You don’t know that,” Regulus disagreed. “McGonagall might have figured out how he did it and ensured he didn’t do it again.”

Alexia hesitated. “I actually… I know how he did it.”

“ _ What _ ? You said you didn’t.”

“It’s a secret,” she winced. “And besides, I can’t use the spell to stop him from doing what he did to get up there or it would stop me, too.”

Severus narrowed his eyes at her after a beat of silence. “Please, Alexia, tell me he isn’t an Animagus.”

Alexia’s eyes shot to her friend. “ _ What _ ?”

Severus let out a frustrated groan. “It isn’t a big deal if you do it, but he’s not part of a powerful family, Lexi. He could get arrested.”

“ _ Pettigrew _ figured out how to become an animagus?” Regulus asked, shocked. Alexia shrugged. 

“I did it first, and then I got stuck one night - I’m  _ sorry _ , Sev - and went to Jamie for help. Sirius got McGonagall, and after I left, they decided to do it, too. You guys have to swear not to tell anyone. Not for them, just for me. Please.”

The Slytherin boys exchanged a look and nodded together. 

“We promise.”

“I’ll see if I can find something in my library at Christmas to help,” Regulus offered. 

“I thought you were just laughing at me.”

“That’s before I knew he could spy on you without your knowledge,” he reasoned. “I’m sure I can find something to help.”

“Can we get back to studying now?” Severus requested, casting a  _ Tempus _ . “We only have two hours before the library closes.”

Alexia gasped and stared at the time. “Oh my god, I’m going to be late!” 

“To  _ what _ ?” Regulus asked her as she stuffed her things into her bag and put her wand in its holster. 

“Meeting with Dumbledore,” she answered, not exactly lying. Once she had all her things, she pecked them both on the cheek in a friendly manner and rushed out of the library, leaving behind two very confused boys.

“But she  _ hates _ Dumbledore,” Regulus said, blinking at where she’d just been sitting.

“Nothing about her makes sense,” Severus shrugged. “It’s pointless to try and figure it out.”

* * *

Alexia tore the door open to find Aberforth rushing toward the door. They nearly collided, and she had to jump to the side to avoid hitting him. Grabbing onto a chair, she looked him over. “What’s wrong?”

“Death Eaters in Diagon Alley,” he answered her. She tensed and nodded once.

“I’m coming."

“ _ No _ , you aren’t,” he disagreed sharply. “You’re fourteen. The Order would not let you fight.”

“So take off the potion,” she suggested. “I can take more when we get back. I need to help, Abe.”

“I thought you were dreading the day you have to fight again,” he shot back at her. She nodded slowly. 

“I am. I was, but I guess I care more about helping than not fighting. Seriously, I can do this. I know how to fight, I can help.”

Aberforth scowled at her and waved his wand over her. She let out a surprised and pained grunt as she felt herself spring upward, though not much. By fourteen, she was already 5’2” and at nineteen, she was only 5’4”. For the most part, her clothes still fit her fine. Still, she took a minute to run into the bathroom and change into some of the clothes she’d taken on the run with her that she still kept in her beaded bag. When she came back out, Aberforth glamoured her hair brown and changed her facial structure a bit. With that done, he looked her over. 

“Come on.”

And they apparated away. 

Diagon Alley was full to the brim of Death Eaters and Order members. The Death Eaters far outnumbered Order members, and Alexia did the thing she knew best: she jumped straight in. She shot a few stunners at people dueling with their back to her and stomped on their wands when they passed out. She continued doing this, disillusioned, until someone that knew how to see through the spell spotted her and engaged in a duel. 

Her hope that they didn’t have masks yet was crushed and she fought the faceless figure harder. Their attack pattern seemed uncomfortably familiar, and when a  _ Crucio _ was sent her way, she blocked it with one of the darker shields she’d learned from the books Sirius had gotten to her, this time at the beginning of the new school year. Suddenly, she was sure of who she was fighting. She dropped her shield and began stepping aside from the curses and casting back at them as she grabbed one of her daggers. The dagger was thrown through the shield of the Death Eater in front of her and she saw it hit their hand. Their wand was dropped to the ground and she threw up another shield and took the time to stun the person. When she got over to them, she grabbed the wand and was pleased to find that it was different than the one in the future, so she stomped on it and moved on, unwilling to dwell. 

There was a store on fire and she could see a few anti-apparition stones set up outside. Despite actively being in the middle of a duel, she twisted to blow up the stones. It cost her and she felt a curse dig into her chest. She ignored it to the best of her ability and kept fighting. Another five minutes and the person was down and she was not feeling well. The curse had expanded through her chest to her shoulders and arms, and she knew she was unable to continue fighting. 

Alexia twisted on her ankle and landed roughly in the Shrieking Shack. She ran out and through the castle until she found herself in front of the Room of Requirement. To her great frustration, it was already being used. She pushed the door open and caught sight of Sirius and Regulus arguing in the middle of the familiar Grimmauld Place sitting room.

“Um,” Regulus looked at her. It took her a second to understand the problem and she used a great deal of energy to wandlessly remove the glamours on her until she just looked like an older version of herself. 

“Ah, fuck,” Sirius hissed. He came to help her sit down. “What the hell happened? Why are you so old?”

“I went on a raid,” she answered with a wince. To their horror, she began removing her shirt with great difficulty. “Abe removed the potion and glamoured me. But I got- shit. I got hit with this curse and it feels  _ dark _ ."

“What curse?” Sirius asked, suddenly concerned. When she continued to have difficulty pulling the shirt over her head, she just vanished it, leaving her with only her bra on. Both boys, however, were looking at the curse that was spreading over her, both looking quite sick. 

“We can’t help,” Regulus told her shortly. “We can’t- you need-  _ fuck _ , Sirius, what do we do?”

Sirius looked around in a panic. “Cissa! We need Cissa. She’d have learned by now, right?”

“Or Lucius,” Regulus agreed. 

Alexia raised her wand and cast a patronus. “To Narcissa and Lucius. I’m in the Room of Requirement and I need some help with a dark curse. Please come quick.”

“Why’d you call him? I’m sure Cissa knows!” Sirius asked with wide eyes. She ignored him to look down at herself, watching as the curse spread down to her ribs and met her mark. When it touched the runes, she let out a shout at the intense pain. 

“ _ Merlin _ ,” Regulus grimaced, pulling his wand. He cast a heavy stasis charm on the curse and they watched it slow down. She grit her teeth and stared at the door, waiting for help to come. 

“What is it?” she asked the brothers, biting her lip. “How bad is it?”

“Um… bad,” Sirius answered her slowly. “It’s… pretty dangerous.”

The door opened and Narcissa and Lucius rushed in together, only to stop short at the sight before them. 

“Gods,” Narcissa breathed in concern, making her way over. “Oh, gods.”

“How?” Lucius asked her, frowning. They both clearly recognized the curse and though Narcissa was confused about Alexia’s currently older state, she grabbed her wand right away. 

“There was a raid on Diagon Alley,” Alexia answered when Narcissa cast a spell for the pain. “Abe took the potion off so I could join. It was going pretty well, I broke Bellatrix’s wand- um, sorry, Cissa - but someone hit me with this curse and as soon as I dropped him, I came here. What is it? They wouldn’t tell me.”

Lucius processed slowly. “Alexia, do you know what Inferi are?”

Alexia sucked in a sharp breath. “Yes.”

“This creates the first Inferi in a space,” he explained, waving his wand over her quietly. “This is a very strong stasis spell.”

“She started screaming when the curse hit her… tattoo,” Sirius explained, eyeing the mark curiously. “Reg did it.”

“Oh,” Lucius breathed. Alexia reached out to pull his shirt up, much to Sirius’s horror, and she relaxed slightly when his mark looked fine. 

“Cissa?” Sirius asked quietly. The girl in question had dropped her hand to her side and was staring at Alexia, quite pale. “What is it?” 

Narcissa looked at everyone, tense. “There is a point where… this curse can be stopped, but only almost immediately. After ten minutes, it is impossible. The only other way to stop it is a great deal more dangerous and… very uncertain.” 

“How?” Regulus asked, frowning at the dark curse as it began to spread over her stomach. “It’s moving fast.”

“The only way to kill an Inferi is to destroy it,” Lucius told them, catching onto Narcissa’s suggestion. He looked just as sick as she did. “But if the curse cannot fully grip onto the host, it will… die.”

“I thought someone had to be killed by Inferi to become one,” Alexia spoke up, confused by the entire situation. 

“Usually,” Narcissa nodded slowly. “But the original Inferi must be alive and killed by the curse. Right now, it is slowly killing you. If you were to… to die before it can kill you, the curse will end.”

“ _ No _ !” Sirius yelled loudly. “She can’t die!” 

“She’s going to!” Narcissa snapped. “We have  _ magic _ , Sirius! With the correct rituals, we  _ can _ bring her back!” 

“I know one,” Regulus said quietly. “I know how to do it.” 

“No, I will,” Sirius said firmly. Alexia shook her head, processing slowly. 

“Regulus, what will it do?”

“Bond us, in a way,” he explained. “It’s  _ very _ dark. We will need someone to bind us.”

“Okay,” she nodded. “Lucius, will you-,”

“Of course.”

“I’m doing it,” Sirius insisted, his eyes flashing angrily. Regulus and Narcissa both turned on him.

“You are terrible at dark magic under pressure,” Regulus reminded him. “You can’t.”

“This is her  _ life _ ,” Narcissa agreed. “Stop complaining and be grateful that we can even save her at all!”

“Regulus,” Lucius called, holding Alexia’s hand. “Which ritual?” 

“ _ Convertero _ ,” Regulus answered softly. He got a few shocked looks, so he raised an eyebrow at them. “Do we not want her to come back? We’re killing her. We don’t have time for this.”

Lucius nodded quietly and frowned. “That requires a ceremonial bowl and a dagger.”

Alexia closed her eyes and focused on changing the room. She opened her eyes when Narcissa let out a horrified shriek and cursed. “Okay, I didn’t mean to send us right here."

“Oh, fuck,” Sirius cursed. “I thought we were going to act like this didn’t happen.”

Alexia made a face at him. “There’s a lot of shit in here, Sirius. There’s bound to be a bowl. I’ve got daggers, but there’s some blood on them.”

Narcissa was quiet for a moment, looking between her and Goyle’s dead body. “Who  _ are  _ you?”

“That’s a long story for a time when I don’t need to be killed,” she suggested. “Can someone else summon a bowl?”

While Lucius did that, Regulus grabbed a dagger from the sheath on her leg, wincing at it. “There really is a lot of blood on this, Lexi.”

“I was literally just using it to stab people like twenty minutes ago,” she stared at him. “I  _ told you  _ it would be bloody.”

Lucius grabbed the dark green bowl as it flew through the air and took the dagger from Regulus. “Stand across from her.” Regulus moved in place and Sirius grabbed Narcissa gently by the shoulders to pull her away from Goyle, who was still bleeding since they’d gotten rid of the room so quickly. His blood was soaking into Alexia’s pants again, but she ignored it in favor of watching Lucius begin the ritual. 

He whispered some words in Latin that she couldn’t make out and the bowl lit up brightly. He then waved at Regulus and the boy offered his arm. It was cut somewhat deeply and the blood collected in the bowl. The same was done to Alexia, and once their blood mixed in the bowl, he looked up at them. “Regulus Arcturus Black, Alexia Dorea Potter, do you promise to always return to life for one another and always protect one another?”

“I do,” Regulus nodded firmly. Alexia eyed him, surprised by the words. 

“I do.”

“Do you promise to always bring one another back as soon as you can for the rest of your lives?”

“I do.”

“I do.”

“You are to be bound by blood and core for the rest of your lives,” Lucius continued, dipping his fingers into the blood in the bowl. Alexia winced when he dripped some of it into the open cut on her arm and then did the same to Regulus. After that, Lucius grabbed his wand and touched it to her chest. A blue, stringy light pulled from what she was sure was her core and he pulled it over to Regulus, where another light was pulled up. He moved his wand evenly between them and both of them gasped at the feeling of their cores intertwining tightly. When they had finished binding, the light disappeared back into both of them and the bowl flashed brightly before it disappeared completely. 

“Is that it?” Alexia asked nervously. “I don’t get it, what did it do?”

“It’s really old,” Regulus told her. “And I’ll explain it as soon as you come back.”

“Wait,” Narcissa spoke up, her voice shaking. “Do you even know how to bring her back, Regulus?” 

“I do,” he confirmed. “My question is… who is going to kill her?” 

Alexia looked between them and shook her head. “I’ll do it.”

“ _ What _ ?” Sirius asked her, horrified. “No! You’re not killing yourself! James would kill me!”

“I can’t,” Regulus said when no one spoke. “Not with the history of this bond.”

“I guess it’s up to us,” Narcissa said, looking to Lucius with a frown. 

Alexia looked between everyone. “This is ridiculous,” she muttered. Before they could stop her, she pointed her wand at herself and silently cast the Killing Curse. Everyone gathered around her when Lucius grabbed her before she could fall.

“ _ Fuck _ ,” Sirius yelled, staring at her with wide eyes. “Oh, fuck, she’s  _ dead _ .”

“Focus,” Narcissa snapped. “Regulus, do whatever you need to do.”

“Not yet,” he shook his head, staring down at her body. The curse was slowly but surely disappearing. “Not until it’s gone completely.”

“Then someone can explain everything,” Narcissa requested, looking between Goyle’s body and Alexia’s. 

“She’s from the future, she’s nineteen, she killed him,” Sirius explained quickly, nodding at Goyle. 

“He isn’t completely dead yet,” Lucius corrected. He’d seen Goyle twitch when Alexia had cast the Killing Curse. The boy couldn’t move, but he certainly wasn’t dead yet. 

“Fuck, what do we do?” Sirius asked, making a face at Goyle’s body. 

“Leave him,” Regulus suggested quietly. “Either he will die on his own or she will finish it when she gets back to the future.” 

“It’s gone,” Narcissa whispered, looking at Alexia’s newly clean skin. Regulus nodded and scooted closer. He pressed his fingers to her throat and closed his eyes. He didn’t need to touch her, but he was truly terrified seeing her dead body, so he was already prepared to feel for her pulse. 

“ _ Vivus _ ,” he whispered softly. His core pulsed painfully, and he doubled over at the pain rushing through him. Silent shifting pulled him from his concern for himself and he moved back to see her slowly opening her eyes. 

“Hey,” Lucius whispered, stroking her cheek. “ _ Never _ do that again, Alexia.”

“I didn’t exactly  _ want _ to  _ Avada _ myself,” she replied, blinking at the light. “It doesn’t hurt, though. Am I-,”

“You’re okay,” Sirius confirmed. “Reg brought you back after the curse faded.”

Alexia looked over to her friend and grabbed his hand within her own. “Thank you… thank you.”

“Ash, I don’t want to stress you out, but he’s still alive,” Sirius told her. She looked over and winced at the sight of Goyle.

“Great,” she muttered. She pushed herself up from her place in Lucius’s lap and moved over to Goyle to put a stasis spell on his large, open wound. “Can you hear me, Goyle?”

His face twitched, an indication that yes, he could. 

Alexia sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, looking around at everyone. As much as she wanted to give him a slow, painful death, she couldn’t. None of them had begun their fight yet and it wasn’t right to show them the cruelty they would see. 

“ _ Crucio _ !” 

“Sirius!” Alexia shouted, wandlessly disarming him. She stared at him in horror. “What the  _ fuck _ are you doing?”

“I didn’t forget James’s boggart,” he told her darkly. “He should suffer!” 

“Not because of you!” she shot back, gripping his wand tightly in her hand. “It’s over! He can’t hurt me again, Sirius. He’s dying. You don’t need to make it worse.”

“But he did to begin with! He should suffer for that!” 

Alexia glared darkly and, without even bothering to look, she shot another Killing Curse, this time at Goyle. He tensed for a short second before his body relaxed once more, leaving him dead. “Don’t make decisions for me, Sirius. He’s my fight, not yours.”

“How do you feel?” Lucius asked her after a moment of silence. She turned to look at him and took in a sharp breath when she caught sight of Narcissa. 

“Oh, shit,” she cursed. “Did they tell you anything?” 

“Nothing I believe.”

“So probably the truth, then,” Alexia hummed. Her eyes widened as another thought occurred to her and she cast a Patronus. “To Aberforth. I’m okay. I was cursed pretty bad, but I’m fine now. Died a little bit. If you’ve got the potion, please bring it to the Room of Requirement in Hogwarts.”

“Hey, Ash,” Sirius called. He ignored the glare she sent his way. “You don’t have a shirt on.”

She looked down at herself and made a face. “At least my mark is back to normal. I was worried I’d have to redo it or something.”

“I believe we caught it soon enough,” Lucius explained. “Try touching mine.”

Alexia nodded and lifted his shirt again to tap her finger to it. It lit up as well as her own mark, both of her Order marks, and her DA mark. “Thank god.”

“Still shirtless,” Sirius spoke up. 

Alexia gave a dramatic sigh and reached down into her bag. “ _ Accio _ … shirts for on the run?” To her relief, the specific request brought her a pile of shirts. She grabbed a tank top and pulled it over her head gratefully. “I’m glad I brought plenty of clothes. Some of this is Harry’s and Ron’s, though…” She made a face at a shirt covered in dirt and tossed it to the side. “That must’ve been from when we changed before Abe helped us into Hogwarts. Harry wore the same clothes as long as possible and he changed after the dragon and then promptly just… fell over into the dirt.” 

“You carried clothes for your friends as well?” Regulus wondered, sifting through the shirts. He picked up one with tears all over and she made a face. 

“That one would be mine. We broke into a vault and it had this curse on it and… if I’d been less on the brink of losing my mind, I probably would’ve done more research on the higher security vaults.” 

“Are you really from the future?” Narcissa asked her softly. She offered the girl a smile and nodded. 

“I am. I came here in May 1971 and left from May 1998. There was a war, I was nineteen when I left, and yes, we’ve met a couple of times.” 

“When?” she asked softly, curiously. Alexia exchanged a look with Lucius before looking back at her friend. 

“I got hurt pretty badly during the war. Torture. You were there, unable to help me, I think. I ran into you once toward the end of the final battle. You were looking for your family. A lot of people got away and you were one of them.” 

The door flew open and Alexia winced at the sight of a somewhat angry Aberforth. He stomped over to her and glanced only once at Goyle’s body before looking at her. “You are surrounded by potential Death Eaters, Potter.”

“They’re not,” she snapped. “Not yet. I trust all of them, even when Lucius and Regulus become Death Eaters. Did you bring the potion?”

He shoved it at her and glanced down at Goyle again. “Him?”

“The future,” she answered. “I killed him. It’s fine.”

“He killed you?”

“No, I did that,” she disagreed, digging in her bag for clothes that would fit her fourteen-year-old self better. “God, I need to clean this thing out. I probably don’t need an emergency love potion cure anymore.”

“Why the hell would you  _ ever _ need that?” Sirius asked in surprise. Alexia looked up at him, remembering the incident in question that had prompted her to look into potions that might be used as weapons. 

“Sixth year. Romilda Vane tried to give Harry a bloody love potion, but Ron, being the pig that he is, ate the chocolates instead. Slughorn helped cure him, but then they drank some poisoned drink someone had given Slughorn and Ron was in the infirmary for days. I’ve got a beazor in here, too, because of that. Also a cure for the draught of living death, the alihosty draught cure, an anti-paralysis potion and more.”

“ _ Why _ did you kill yourself, Potter?” Aberforth interrupted loudly. She blinked at him. 

“Someone had to do it. I didn’t want the first person any of them kills to be me, so I did it. It worked fine, I’m fine.”

“Albus expects you at the meeting,” he told her after a moment. “Tomorrow. Alastor was asking who you were. It seems you will be an official member of the Order as well as a hidden member.” 

“Cool,” she muttered, tugging a shirt and skirt out of the bag finally. “Thank you for bringing the potion, Abe. Do you need anything else?” 

“You broke a lot of wands,” he told her sternly. “It is illegal.”

“So is attacking innocent people,” she scoffed, shocked that he was actually trying to yell at her. 

“Don’t do it again. If they find out it’s you, you will be arrested.”

“It’s all well and good to fight them, to stun them, but they’ll just get right back up again if they have their wands!” she argued. “I was doing everyone a favor. Next you’ll be telling me it’s illegal to break anti-apparition stones.”

“It  _ is _ ,” he stared at her. She threw her hands up. “They are extremely rare!” 

“And if I hadn’t, people would have died! God, it’s like you don’t even realize this is a  _ war _ . Fuck the law, Abe. I’m trying to save people.”

“You’re going to get yourself arrested or killed doing it,” he told her sternly, looking calmer. “I will be picking up more of the de-aging potion so that you can go on raids, but keep in mind that you’re not invincible, nor are you invisible.”

“Fine,” she waved him off. “I understand.”

He looked between her and her friends and shook his head, leaving them alone once more. 

* * *

**November 10th, 1974**

Regulus rubbed his temples as he read through the book in his lap. He was sitting outside under a heavy warming charm, trying to read the material his mother had sent him on the things Voldemort was looking for in his followers and the sort of magic he wanted them to be well versed in. Unfortunately, Regulus knew he and Sirius were perfect for Voldemort. 

Alexia dropped down by his side and leaned her head on his shoulder, eyeing his book. “Merlin, Reg, that’s pretty dark. Is this light reading or something more concerning?”

“More concerning,” he sighed, closing the book. “Shouldn’t you be in class?” 

“Mm,” she hummed, closing her eyes. “Got mad, hexed Sirius. I have detention tonight with McGonagall, so I’m skipping classes for the rest of the day.”

“What did he do?” Regulus wondered with a small wince. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she promised. “It’s what he did yesterday. He made a joke about it as if I would for some ridiculous reason find it funny.”

“How’re you doing?” he questioned, pulling back to look at her. She lifted her head from his shoulder and glanced back. 

“I don’t know. I’ve never died before yesterday. I never had the chance to ask Harry how death was. He did mention he saw Dumbledore. I just saw… nothing. I don’t know. There was nothing. But I can feel… I don’t really know what it is. You didn’t explain the bond very much.”

“You were dying,” he reasoned, thinking about how to explain it. “The bond hasn’t been used in a very long time. It’s dark because… ah, it was used to gain life debts.”

“ _ How _ ?”

“Imagine this: we’re typical Blacks and Potters. I hurt you, bring you to the brink of death, and then cast the spell and bind us. You agree to it because you don’t want to die. You  _ do _ die and I bring you back. That creates the strongest life debt possible. And I can do this over and over again with the satisfaction that should  _ I _ ever die, you will be forced to bring me back or face the Judgment of Magic.”

“Oh my god,” Alexia gasped, eyes wide. “That’s horrible.” 

“Obviously, I wouldn’t do that,” he assured her, grabbing her hand for comfort. “There were some rare cases where couples or family members would use the ritual, but it’s extremely dark and most people didn’t care to dabble in the darker magicks.”

“How dark is it? What exactly did it do?” Alexia wondered, biting her lip. “Are there any side effects? Bad things?”

Regulus offered her a comforting smile. “I won’t lie, it is… really dark, but it shouldn’t hurt us. As for what it did… it combined part of our blood and part of our cores so that they belong together, in a sense. We shouldn’t die for the last time until we both die. The longer one of us is dead and the other is alive, the more painful it would be.”

Alexia tensed. She remembered clearly the day Sirius told her about his dead brother. She remembered learning that Sirius’s dead brother was the one that stole the locket from Voldemort, and she remembered that he’d been taken by Inferi and killed, turned into one of them. She couldn’t help but feel a little sick at the thought that  _ she _ had almost become an Inferi.

“Lexi?” he asked with a frown. “Hey, what is it?”

“You’re dead,” she told him quietly. She watched him freeze and shook her head sadly. “I know how and when, but… Reg, your death was instrumental to us winning the war. You found something, something despicable, and stole it from Voldemort after he borrowed Kreacher to hide it. And you died. I know where, I know when, I know how… when I go back to 1998, you’ll have been dead for a long time.” 

“I’m dead,” he repeated the words as if he didn’t understand them. “You befriended me knowing I would die?”

Alexia nodded and swiped at her eyes before tears could fall. “More than just you, Reg. Some of the people I’m closest with are going to die. I know how, I know when, and I can’t change anything.” 

Regulus fell silent as he processed the news. He understood why she told him - if it would be painful or dangerous for them to not be alive at the same time and more so the longer that one of them was dead, he could understand why she was so panicked. But he also saw the desperation in her, something that he thought he’d seen before but didn’t understand until just then. “Tell me about it.”

“It happens in 1979,” she said softly. “Sirius told me about it a little bit, but he didn’t know how it happened. Um… Riddle created these objects that we had to destroy before we could end the war and you… he gave one to Kreacher to hide and you figured out what it was. We don’t know how. Kreacher took you to the cave and… you drank the potion and stole it, but the- the potion, it makes you want to drink water, Reg, and the only water is around the small island and when you touch it… Inferi pull you under. You died in the cave. Kreacher said your last order to him was to leave and destroy the object.”

Regulus shook his head silently. “It has to happen?” 

Alexia nodded regretfully, sniffling quietly. “Without it, we wouldn’t have- it would change time. We wouldn’t have broken into the Ministry and then we wouldn’t have tried and failed to go back to Grimmauld Place safely, and then we wouldn’t have kept it on us for months and Ron wouldn’t have left and we probably wouldn’t have gone to Godric’s Hollow, and Nagini wouldn’t have attacked us, and Harry wouldn’t have almost died trying to get the sword because the object wouldn’t have tried to drown him and it- everything would be different. Everything  _ could _ be different. So many of the decisions we made were influenced by the object. If you never gave it to Kreacher to destroy, everything would be different.”

“Okay,” he said softly. “And you’re worried because I’m going to die and then you’ll travel… twenty years into the future and you think it’ll hurt you.”

“Yes.”

“I think it’s less of a matter of how long we stay dead without action and more of a matter of how long we stay dead without action when we have the ability to do something.”

“I don’t have access to your… body,” she winced. “I could ask Harry to take me to the cave, and he even if he did… I’d be killed before I could find you.”

“You don’t need it,” he assured her gently. “This is old, dark magic. It can do incredible things. Move bodies, heal them to a livable state… whatever it needs to keep us alive.” 

“I’ll bring you back,” she promised. When he just looked away, she reached over and intertwined their pinky fingers. “Pinky promise, Reg.”

“Pinky  _ what _ ?”

“It’s a muggle thing,” she explained with a smile. “It means I won’t break my promise. It’s a very serious thing. Muggles don’t  _ dare _ break a pinky promise.” He let out a small laugh and nodded. She shook their hands a little and pecked his cheek. “Thanks for trusting me.”

“I don’t have much of a choice,” he reminded her. “But… I do trust you, Lexi. More than I think is strictly healthy.”

* * *

**November 29th, 1974**

James slammed his bag onto the trunk at the end of the bed, shocking Padfoot awake. The dog let out an irritated growl in warning, but James just glared at him. “Shift back or I’ll shift and impale you.”

Padfoot jumped off the bed and shifted to Sirius, who was deeply annoyed. “ _ What _ ?”

“You and Ash have been at each other's throats for almost three weeks,” James told him sharply. “We’ve  _ tried _ to stay out of it, but I’m fucking sick of this. She’s  _ different _ , Sirius. Something happened.” 

“It’s nothing,” Sirius muttered, sitting back on his bed. “Leave me alone, Prongs. I’m not in the mood for this.”

“I don’t give a shit!” James yelled. “I know you’re my best mate. I know you’re family, Sirius, but she’s my  _ twin _ . I know she’s fucked up, but something is different, something is wrong and I know it has to do with you. Tell me now or I’m writing mum.”

Sirius scowled at him. “It’s hard to explain. Something did happen.”

“Tell me what.”

“I can’t.”

“Tell me!” 

“I can’t!” 

James glared darkly. “Tell me right now or I’ll write Walburga.”

Sirius fell silent, staring at James. While he was horrified and shocked and hurt, some part of him felt like he would give a threat of the same weight to someone else if Alexia was potentially not okay. He straightened and nodded stiffly. 

“One of the boys that hurt her,” he explained. “Last year? The other one got to her. He was… incapacitated. She was just staring at him, looking so… so  _ fragile _ and no one was moving and I just… I _ Crucio _ ’d him, James.”

“Shit,” James breathed, sitting on the trunk next to him when he felt dizzy. “Did he… hurt her?”

“No,” Sirius shook his head. “She killed him and yelled at me… but something else happened, too.”

“What?”

“She went to that attack,” he said slowly. The raid had been covered in just about every newspaper as the most fatal terrorist attack since Grindlewald. “Aberforth Dumbledore removed the potion and glamoured her and she went and fought and got cursed really bad. She was… she was gonna die, James.” 

“Fuck,” James whispered staring down at his hands, eyes wide in horror. “What was it?”

“The spell to create Inferi,” Sirius winced. “She was going to die, so Reg made this bond with her, a really old one, and she…”

“ _ What _ ?” When Sirius hesitated again, James met his eyes. “Walburga.”

“She had to die so he could bring her back when the curse was gone,” Sirius answered him quickly. “She bloody  _ Avada _ ’d herself.”

“Fuck!” James exclaimed, jumping to his feet when his fear and frustration spiked. “Fuck, Pads, you  _ let her _ ?”

“No!” Sirius jumped up, offended. “We were trying to figure out who would do it and she just sort of… did it. Got impatient, I guess.” 

“Lexi died?” James asked in a breath. He looked understandably stressed and was pacing back and forth in front of Sirius’s bed. “Oh, Merlin, she  _ died _ .”

“Reg brought her back,” Sirius reminded him. “And he can do it again if she’s ever… if something happens.”

“So she’s been so off because…”

“Around me? Because she’s pissed that I tortured the guy that hurt her. Anytime else? Because she died, I guess. I doubt she’s died before, so it was probably scary. I can’t really say because she won’t talk to me.”

“Fix it,” James ordered shakily. “She’s already bloody stressed as is. Apologize.”

“But I’m not sorry.”

“I don’t  _ care _ . Do it anyway.”

“Fine.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the chapter summary, it was just all I could do lmao


	23. Involuntary Ties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just kidding, she's alive.

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

_ Stay for as long as you have time _

_ So the mess that we’ll become _

_ Leaves something to talk about _

**December 3rd, 1974**

Severus pushed Alexia’s hand away gently, stepping back just a little when she jumped and turned around with the stir stick pointed at him threateningly. “Terrifying.”

“God, Sev, don’t do that,” she huffed. “I’m trying to finish my potion, what’s up?”

“You’re not talking to anyone,” he told her gently, pushing her hand down so the stir stick wasn’t in his face. “And you know I don’t… do this, but even I’m concerned for you.”

Alexia turned back to her potion quietly. “I’ve just had a lot on my mind lately.”

“Lexi, your  _ brother _ asked me to talk to you.”

She froze, understanding the weight of the statement. Severus came to stand next to her and she looked at his worried frown. “James went to you?”

“Yes.” 

“Shit,” she cursed softly, dropping the stick and placing a stasis charm over her potion. “I’m sorry, Sev. I’ve had… a lot on my mind lately. I’m not lying about that.” 

“But?”

“But something happened,” she nodded slowly. She had no doubt he’d react rather calmly and it was the only reason she was willing to tell him the truth. “And I don’t know how to… process it.”

“Are you… okay?” he asked with a frown. She shrugged a little and sat down on the stool behind her. 

“Someone cursed me really badly,” she began. “And the only way to get rid of it was for me to die.”

“You  _ died _ ?” 

Alexia nodded silently, remembering the experience. “Regulus had to do this bond so that he could bring me back. I’m fine physically. The curse couldn’t complete because I died. It’s just… what do you believe? You know, about death.”

Severus frowned at the question. “I don’t really know. I haven’t given it much thought. There’s the theory that all of our magic is recycled through families, but that doesn’t say much for… where we go when we die. Do you… remember it?”

Alexia nodded, biting her lip. “I lied when I was asked, mostly because I don’t know how to process it.”

“What happened?” 

“It was just… a lot of black,” she told him quietly. “But I could see family around me, sort of. I couldn’t reach them. It was like they were on a… different layer of the black nothingness. I couldn’t yell for them or move or do  _ anything _ . And I saw someone that shouldn’t- shouldn’t be dead, and he was sort of… near them. But the longer I was there, the closer I got to them, and then… Regulus brought me back.” 

Severus looked at her face closely, noting the frustration in her eyes. “You think that’s death?” 

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “I just know that’s where I went when I died. I hope it isn’t death. I don’t want to spend death so far and so close to the people I love. But it just… it scared me. And… Merlin, Sev, I  _ died _ . I know Lucius has tried to make sure I’m okay, you know, because he was there, but… how do I explain this to him? I’m  _ not _ okay, but I am? I don’t know how to… I don’t know.” 

“Have you considered asking your father?” Severus wondered. At her curious frown, he explained. “I know he works in the Department of Mysteries and they do a lot of research on death. None of it has been shared, but he might have something helpful to tell you.” 

“Oh,” she breathed, her eyes widening. “That’s a brilliant idea. Thank you.” 

He offered her a small smile and tried to turn, but she wrapped her arms around him before he could leave. “ _ Lexi _ .”

She squeezed him and released him. “I know, I’m sorry. I just appreciate your concern. I know it couldn’t have been easy having a civil conversation with my brother.”

“It was not.”

“The only comfort I can offer you is that he probably hated it, too.”

“Try not to avoid him again,” Severus requested, dropping a merpod into her potion when she removed the spell. It turned the correct bright yellow color, much to his satisfaction. “The next time he follows me around the castle for ten minutes, I’m going to hex him.”

Alexia winced. “ _ I’ll _ hex him.”

“No, I think I’ve earned it.”

* * *

James stared at the Map in wonder as he watched his sister’s name move closer to him. He was staring so intently that he entirely missed her opening the door and stepping over to stare at him with a small laugh. 

“What are you  _ doing _ ?” she asked him. His head shot up and he grinned, jumping to his feet to wrap her up in a hug. “Merlin, okay! I’m sorry!” 

“I knew you weren’t dead but fuck, Lex, it feels like it.”

Alexia pulled back and narrowed her eyes. “Excuse me?”

He guided her over to sit down on his bed with him, ignoring the glare she was giving him. “I don’t care that you’re mad, Lex. You can’t just die and not tell me!” 

“I can if I’m alive again within five minutes!” 

“No,” he disagreed, looking much more serious now. “I mean it. Tell me. I’m terrified for you as is, Ash. I need to know when this stuff happens.” 

“Okay,” she agreed softly. “I’m sorry. I just… I think I needed time to process. I’m gonna write to Dad about it, too.” 

“Tell me,” he requested quietly. She nodded and laid back on the bed with him, grabbing his hand within her own. Before she spoke, she waved her wand quickly at Remus’s trunk, levitating blankets out of it and wrapping them around the bed for a makeshift blanket fort. “That bad?”

“Yeah,” she sighed, rolling onto her side to look at him. “I’ve never died before, Jamie. It was scary.”

“Sirius said you…  _ Avada _ ’d yourself.”

She made a face at him. “I’ve cast it before, Jamie. I didn’t want any of them to have to cast it for the first time on me. And I died and it was so… dark. I’ve never really been religious, you know. I love reading about religions but I wasn’t raised religious. Considering how many times I’ve almost died, it’s sort of funny that I’ve never considered what death could be.”

“It was just dark?” he asked, his voice a whisper. 

“Only at first,” she assured him. “I saw some people that… I can’t tell you why, but it’s literally impossible for them to be dead right now. They were older than I know they are, too. Like they were… in the future. I just couldn’t reach them or call to them. It just really scared me. Death seemed so abstract until now.” 

“You’re not dying again,” he informed her. When she let out a short laugh, he pinned her with a serious look. “I mean it, Lex. I’ll protect you.”

“Jamie, you can’t protect me forever. You have to know that. I won’t… I won’t be able to protect you forever,” she whispered softly, biting her lip hard. “You know I love you, right? You’re my brother, my twin. My best friend.”

“I know,” he promised. “And I love you too, but I  _ will _ protect you. Dad told me to before Dumbledore even brought you to us. It’s my job.”

Alexia gave him a soft smile and closed her eyes. “I wish we could stay here forever. It’s always so much better in our forts.”

“Better together,” he corrected, bumping her shoulder. “If you avoid me again I’m going to literally stalk you until you talk to me.” 

Alexia let out a small laugh. “No more avoiding. It’s just… there are things I still can’t tell you, you know? And sometimes those things come up and I can’t always explain… what’s happening.”

“Just tell me that,” he suggested. “I’ll drop it and take care of you, okay?”

“Yeah,” she agreed. “Okay.”

* * *

**December 11th, 1974**

Narcissa couldn’t help but laugh at the look her friend was giving her cousin. She and Alexia had been sitting together for a few hours of the lazy day when Sirius and Regulus came to find her to inform her that all of them would be going to Black Manor for Christmas. It was when Sirius had kicked Alexia’s book on accident and lost the page that the girl’s temper flared. Her patience around Sirius had been quite low in the past days, part of the reason she’d gone to find Narcissa instead of hanging out with her friends to begin with. 

“Ash, there’s a spell for that,” Sirius made a face. He was clearly sick of her temper and sick of trying to calm her down. Regulus took a seat next to Narcissa to watch the situation play out. “I thought you, of all people, would know it.”

“Go away,” Alexia muttered, flipping through her book to find the page again. “Go tell James all my other secrets without permission.”

“ _ That’s _ why you’re pissed?” Sirius stared at her in shock. “God, Lexi, he needed to know!”

Alexia glared. “No, you just have a habit of telling James all of my secrets, Sirius. Remember the day after my first date with Lucius? The reason he’s even okay with us dating?  _ You _ fucked up then. And god, you told him about Goyle on top of telling him I died! You’ve just got absolutely no fucking control over yourself. I’m  _ amazed _ you haven’t told anyone about- I’m just sick of your inability to keep my secrets.”

“Okay, we’re going to go,” Regulus said, helping Narcissa to her feet. The pair left before Alexia could stop them, leaving her and Sirius alone.

“Lexi, he noticed you’re… different,” Sirius said quietly, sitting down in front of her. “Did he tell you about why I even told him?”

“No,” she admitted. “But I can’t imagine a good reason to-,”

“He threatened to write Walburga.”

Alexia took in a sharp breath. “James… threatened you?”

Sirius nodded slowly. “I get it, Ash. I’m not upset with him. He and I, we’re close, but you’re his sister above anything else. He loves you more than anyone. If I were in his position, I’d have done it, too. I had to tell him, Lexi. I’m sorry.”

“What about the bond? Do you have any good excuses for that?”

Sirius shrugged. “He was losing his shit, okay? I know Malfoy and I aren’t…  _ close _ , but he was going to confront him, probably hex him. He wanted to write your parents, write  _ his _ parents, and he was getting pissed at me for trying to stop him.”

“That… prat!” 

Sirius laughed shortly. “He’s just really scared for you, Ash. He knows you’ve been through shit and I think he was scared Malfoy would… put you through more shit.”

Alexia scoffed. “Lucius cares for me, Sirius. Whatever happens, it isn’t his fault. I know that.”

“Even if that’s true, James doesn’t. Or he didn’t,” Sirius shook his head. “I know you’re pissed but you gotta understand… he’s so scared. We all are. You’re… reckless.”

“I am not!”

“It’s not as much of an insult as it sounds like,” he laughed. “I just mean that… whenever this war does really start, you’re gonna fight, aren’t you?”

Alexia looked down at her hands. “I’ve been thinking about that a lot. I don’t know, Padfoot. I feel like… if I don’t, I’m just letting people get hurt and die.”

“But you already fought,” he reminded her gently. “You can’t- don’t do it again.”

“I’m not,” she promised. “Not yet. If I… decide to, I’ll tell you.”

“Promise?”

“Swear on Wormtail’s grave,” she nodded, making her friend laugh. “Really, I mean it. I’ll tell you.”

“Still mad at me?” he asked, bumping her shoulder. She let out a long sighed and considered him.

“I’m just… still frustrated. I’m not mad you told him that stuff, I guess, but… you tortured him, Sirius.” 

“He-,”

“I know what he did,” she interrupted sharply. “But it’s my burden. My shit to handle. You don’t think I’ve wanted him to hurt before? I have, a lot. But it’s not… I won’t do what they do. Torture for any reason. The second we start doing that, we’re just a step closer to being just as bad as them, okay?”

“But it’s war, isn’t it?” he asked curiously. “I thought you think that… there’s no good or bad, just people fighting a war.”

“For the most part, yes,” she nodded. “But we all have our own limits, things we will and won’t do. I’ll kill for this war, I have killed for it, but I don’t want to torture anyone. I did it once and while I don’t regret getting the man away from me, I do regret torturing him.”

“And what about the other guy?” he asked her. “What if he gets to you?”

Alexia considered the question seriously. In the past, she’d brushed it off because Crabbe had been arrested, but sitting with Sirius, she was reminded of the breakouts over the years. “He is in Azkaban, but… there’s been a few breakouts.”

“ _ What _ ?” he asked her, eyes wide. “Really? That’s supposed to be impossible!”

“In 1993, in 1996, and in 1997.” She looked down and grabbed his hand within her own. “You’ll be with me in the future, Sirius. And Harry and… everyone. I’ll be okay.”

He squeezed her hand within his. “Damn right. I’ll make sure of it.”

“I’m not upset with you,” she decided. “But please… don’t do that again. For no other reason than… it just makes me remember.”

“Okay,” he agreed. “I won’t.” 

* * *

Alexia sat in the library later that day with Lucius. They were sitting on a couch together and she’d let her head fall onto his shoulder and closed her eyes. She was exhausted emotionally and needed the safety and comfort he offered her. 

She was interrupted, however, by Lily plopping down on the chair next to the couch. “I need you to explain it to me, Lexi.”

“What?” she asked without opening her eyes. 

“James.”

At her brother’s name, she peeked an eye open. Lily was flushed and frowning deeply at her. Alexia sighed and shifted until Lucius had wrapped an arm around her and she was looking at her friend. Lucius was listening but still staring down at his book, though clearly not reading it if the way he didn’t bother flipping through the pages said anything.

“What about him?” Alexia asked her friend. “I haven’t spoken with him much today so whatever he’s done, I didn’t have anything to do with it.”

“Not a prank,” Lily waved her off. “We kissed, Lexi.”

“Last year,” Alexia nodded slowly, suddenly understanding what Lily was asking her. “I’m aware.”

“But something  _ happened _ . It felt… it was weird. Something happened to us when we kissed, Lexi. What was it?”

Alexia took in a slow breath as she thought over her options. Finally, after looking around to make sure no one else was around, she reached out to grab Lily’s hand. The girl let her and she then reached out with her magic. Lily jumped and tugged her arm away, staring with wide eyes. 

“What  _ was _ that?” 

“A familial bond,” Alexia told her calmly. “I need you to stay calm and just listen to what I have to say, okay?” 

“But we’re not- we’re not family, Alexia.”

“Do you promise to listen to everything I have to say?” 

“...yes.”

Alexia nodded once and reached up to grab Lucius’s hand, which he squeezed gently in comfort and support. “I sort of promised Jamie I wouldn’t tell you about this, Lils, so you can’t tell him I told you.”

“What is it? What was that? How do we have a familial bond?”

Alexia let out a small laugh. “Take a deep breath. Did I ever explain what it was like when mine and Sirius’s bond was ingited?”

“No…”

“It was like a little cord was created between us,” she explained. “It was like it tugged us together. It still exists and if I feel around for it, I can find it and tug on it, but he’d feel it if I did that.” 

“And?”

“Lils, when you and Jamie kissed, you ignited your soul bond. He’s your bond mate, Lily.”

Lily gasped, her eyes widening in horror. “But- but he can’t be! He’s a prat! He hexes Severus and he’s so egotistical and he’s an arse and always mean and-,”

“And my brother, so stop insulting him, please,” Alexia made a face. “He  _ can _ be those things and I know that he’s not right for you right now. That’s okay. Sirius isn’t right for me right now… maybe ever. I don’t know.”

“And you love Lucius? You can love other people?”

Alexia nodded with a smile at her boyfriend. “I do love him, quite a bit, actually. And forgetting the numerous reasons we couldn’t be married, if I wanted to, I could ignore Sirius and marry Lucius. We’d just be without the perks of a soul bond.”

“So… I don’t  _ have _ to be with James?”

“Lils, you’re the one that told me I didn’t  _ have _ to be with Sirius,” Alexia reminded her with a small laugh. “You told me to pursue Lucius.”

“Mm?” Lucius raised an eyebrow at the girls. 

“Yes, we discussed you,” Alexia rolled her eyes. “I had a crush on you and then suddenly, I had a soul bond. It wasn’t like I wanted James to know, so the girls were the best option.”

“So what I felt when you touched me, that was…?”

“Ah, well, you and James happen to have ignited it further than Sirius and I,” she shrugged. “I actually checked with Regulus. Well, he didn’t know what I was doing, but I did try and see if we had any sort of familial bond. You and Jamie are just a short step closer to the deep bond that you  _ could _ one day form. I don’t know how to… truthfully, I stopped reading about it because it was giving me a headache. Lucius?”

“There are levels of each bond,” he took over for her, much to her relief. “Alexia and Sirius have a very basic bond that only exists between them.”

“But why?” Lily wondered, looking between the couple. Alexia made a face. 

“I can answer that. Um… so Sirius was dared to kiss me and he did and… well, you remember I sort of freaked out?”

“You ran out,” Lily nodded. 

“Yeah. I ended the kiss immediately when I felt it sparked, so it didn’t have time to go any deeper.”

“So if I kiss James again, it’ll… what, finish the bond?”

“Not exactly,” Lucius disagreed. “Sirius has… since then, kissed Alexia. Their bond is no deeper than before. The initial kiss ignites the bond as a way to inform you that it exists. After that, deepening the bond has to be a conscious decision. The last step is marriage, which will tie your bond together forever.”

“So it  _ isn’t _ a forever thing right now?” 

“No, it is,” Alexia sighed. “It’s a bit complicated. A marriage confirms the bond and grants you a few perks, but it’s honestly mostly a societal thing.”

“That isn’t strictly true,” Lucius said, surprising her. 

“Really?”

“No. Bonds are forever once they are ignited, but marriage protects you from certain… old curses.”

“Curses?” Alexia raised an eyebrow. “What, marrying Sirius will protect me from an  _ Avada _ or something?”

“Something more diabolical,” Lucius told her slowly. “Not often practiced or taught anymore aside from among old families. Nothing I believe Lily should be concerned about.”

“What is it?” Lily asked, frowning. Lucius glanced between the curious and worried girls and gave in. 

“It is old, dark, and despicable. Sirius would know it and so would Regulus.”

“Do you?” Alexia wondered. Lucius nodded slowly.

“I would never use it,” he promised softly, surprising Alexia into nodding at him. He was so serious about it that she believed him completely. 

“But what does it  _ do _ ?” Lily asked him again, frustrated. 

“It is usually hidden in other hexes or curses and it digs into a core and… bonds. If a wizard cast it on an unmarried witch, even if she had a bond, it would create a secondary bond with him as well.”

“Oh my god,” Alexia breathed, eyes wide. “Is it still used?”

“The last known case was many, many years ago,” he shook his head. “I don’t think it is anything Lily needs to worry about.”

“And me?”

Lucius glanced at Lily and back at his girlfriend. His voice was soft, and he stared into her eyes. “The Malfoys, Blacks, and Dolohovs are the most well-known families that have used the curse.”

“Oh,” Alexia nodded quietly. She set the information aside to discuss later and focused back on her friend. “James didn’t want you to know because he knew it would freak you out. It’s… why he hexed Severus. He knew it would scare you and you would need time, so he distracted you. I don’t agree with his method, but he did it because he was worried about you.”

“So you’re saying… he’s  _ not _ an arsehole?”

Alexia hesitated. “I’m saying that I don’t think you should write him off completely. I think maybe you should give him some time to mature and then, if you still like him, try again."

Lily nodded gratefully. “Thank you.”

“Mm. And if you have any other questions about it, feel free to ask me and I’ll try my best to answer.” 

Lily promised she would and, after a quick goodbye, made her way from the area, leaving the couple alone together once more. Alexia sat back to look at her boyfriend and noted the tense look on his face. 

“What’re you thinking?”

“You haven’t talked about it,” he said softly. “Not much.”

“I love you,” she reminded him quietly. “I want to focus on you.”

“Alexia… you must have questions. You obviously haven’t asked anyone.”

“I don’t want to think about it,” she admitted. She raised her hand to touch his cheek gently and appreciated the way even the small touch grounded her. “I don’t want to think about a hypothetical time when I might be with him. I want to focus on now. We’re… we might be in the last months that everything is even a little bit okay. The war is going to start soon and it’ll be bad and we-,”

“I know,” he promised. He grabbed her hand from his cheek and kissed her knuckles softly. “I do not intend to waste my time with you, Alexia, but I hope to help you understand a possible future that you seem confused by.”

“I’m not confused,” she denied quickly. He glanced at her and she sighed. “I know it doesn’t do any good to… to deny the possibility, but I don’t know how to contemplate it.” 

“Then allow me,” Lucius said, smiling softly at her. “Someday, Alexia, we will no longer be able to be together. I will find a wife and you will… be free to do what you want. Perhaps you will decide you have feelings for Sirius and you will want to date him.”

“Lucius-,”

“And that’s okay, Alexia. You could be happy with him, be safer.”

“Safer? You would never hurt me.”

“But I would,” he disagreed. “And I might, and we both know that.”

“But not because you want to, Lucius. It’s intent that matters.”

“Intent doesn’t matter when you’re being attacked, hurt, and killed.” 

Alexia stiffened. “Is there a point?”

“The point is, Alexia, you will be on the same side of the war. You can be together until you go back to the future and, with any luck, he  _ will _ be alive when you get back there.”

“What if we’re not good together?” she asked, giving in. “What if he just makes me angry and he doesn’t like being with me? What if it just doesn’t work?”

“Then you won’t be with him,” he reminded her. “It’s okay to not be with him. Soul bonds, they guide you to the person that you should be best with, the person you could and should love your entire life, but they’re not forceful. You don’t have to listen to them.”

“I know,” she breathed in agreement. “I’m just scared.”

“You can be scared,” he assured her, pulling her into his arms. She went willingly and settled her head on his shoulder. “But don’t be scared of him, Alexia. And remember that we do have time. We have more time.”

“We have time,” she repeated, closing her eyes again. 

* * *

**December 19th, 1974**

The last day of school before the break was filled with anxiety for the Black brothers, Lucius, and Alexia, whose anxiety was passed onto both her brother and Remus. From the nervous way everyone was acting, even Peter and Lily seemed anxious and concerned. Overall, the group wasn’t doing very well. While James and Remus didn’t exactly know what was going on, they did know that Sirius had been summoned to Black Manor for Christmas and that he and Regulus would only be seen at the Ball after multiple conversations with their parents. 

It was also clear to the boys that whatever was happening, Alexia knew about it. They had been fine with not knowing until she and Sirius snuck off to sit with Regulus and Lucius, raising questions. While Sirius wasn’t openly cruel to Lucius, he did not enjoy spending time with the older boy, which was a large part of how Remus knew something was really wrong when he spotted the group while heading back from the bathroom. 

A knock on the door startled Sirius, who was closest to said door, and he opened it without question. He paused only when he spotted the rest of the Marauders staring at them in question. “Uh… hello.”

“Hello,” Remus rolled his eyes. “Tell us what’s going on.”

“I want to spend time with my brother before bloody Walburga splits us apart,” he tried. “He just so happened to be sitting with Malfoy.”

“That is a blatant lie.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“Tell them,” Alexia suggested. “I probably will when they ask me later, anyway.”

“Reg?” Sirius asked. Regulus sighed and nodded, so Sirius waved the three boys into the compartment. Once they were inside, Alexia warded it for privacy while he spoke. “I’m going home because Voldemort wants to meet us, to… have us join him.”

“You’re not going to,” James exclaimed, eyes widening dramatically. Sirius scoffed at him.

“Of course not!”

“But we are,” Regulus told them, nodding at himself and Lucius. “We have to.” 

“You don’t have to,” James disagreed, shaking his head quickly. “Come home with us. My parents will take care of you.”

“Jamie,” Alexia looked at her brother sadly. He glanced at her with wide, horrified eyes. “Jamie, they can’t. You don’t understand. It’s one of those things I said I just can’t explain to you.”

“But it’s their lives!” he exclaimed, waving at them. “It’s their lives, Lex! We’re so  _ young _ and you just want them to fight for someone that would’ve killed you? This is  _ their  _ lives!”

“I know that,” she replied softly, feeling the words in her heart. “I know. I don’t want this for them, Jamie.”

“But you’re just okay with it?  _ How _ ? You  _ want _ your boyfriend to kill people?” 

“No!” she shook her head. That had hit a nerve and it took a deep breath to keep from snapping at him. “I just can’t explain it to you!”

“I am not doing this for her,” Regulus told James, moving to stand directly in front of Alexia, unable to watch him blame her and upset her. “I am doing this because I have to.”

“But you  _ don’t _ .”

“And  _ you _ don’t understand,” he shot back. “You can’t judge us if you don’t understand.”

“And you?” James asked Lucius. He was currently stroking Alexia’s hand softly with one hand and pushing hair from her face with the other. “Are you doing this for her?”

“I would end up there no matter what,” he answered. “I do not agree with or support anything this Voldemort says, but I know that eventually, my father will demand I join them. Doing it willingly saves some pain.” 

“I can’t believe you’re okay with this,” James shook his head at Alexia.

“I’m not!” she told him, her voice raising. “I don’t  _ ever _ want them there! I love them, Jamie, and I want them to be safe! But there are certain things that have to happen that I just can’t stop no matter how much I want to.”

“But-,”

“You promised me,” she whispered, her voice quieting abruptly. “You promised me you’d just support me and trust me.”

“I know, but-,”

“If you think all of my secrets are as simple as the fact that I died, you’re wrong. I  _ hate _ this but I can’t change it. It’s killing me to not beg them not to go, Jamie. Please, just stop yelling at me.” 

“Okay,” he agreed finally. “Okay, I’m sorry.” 

“Thank you.”

* * *

**December 31st, 1974**

Separating from Lucius, Regulus, and Sirius had been hard. Alexia had been crying when their parents took them and Remus back to Potter Manor, and she continued to cry for the rest of the night until she shifted into her fox form and cuddled up to Remus and fell asleep. 

The break was tense. Alexia had exchanged letters with Lucius, but she hadn’t seen him since the train and most of his letters were short and generally without anything important. She knew he was alive, though, and that was certainly more than she knew about Sirius and Regulus. 

She filled her time with Order meetings and raids. She’d gotten a good supply of the de-aging potion, which meant that she was free to remove the potion whenever she wanted to and ended up at every Order meeting and a great deal of raids. Her parents disapproved, but they saw her desperation and so they let her go under the orders to return home the second a raid got as dangerous as the first one of the school year had been. 

When the ball showed up, everyone was a wreck. The ball was possibly the most politically diverse it had been in years. The entire Wizarding World wanted to know what was going on and the best way to find out was to be where everyone else was. 

It had led to an unfortunate and massive argument between Artur Dolohov and Charlus. The Dolohovs hadn’t minded as much the year before when they hadn’t been invited to the ball, but seeing as everyone across the political spectrum had been invited save for them, Artur had been pissed. 

The argument had been long and ended with a smirking Artur and a furious Charlus. The younger man had threatened to use all of his allies to attack the House of Potter politically and in their own House affairs like businesses, properties, and even just their children. 

Dorea, upon hearing of the fight, had told Charlus to allow them to come. That alone had caused a fight between the married couple, but Charlus had sent out the invitation and told his wife that whatever happened was on her. It was one of the worst arguments of their marriage thus far. 

“ _ Mum _ ,” Alexia stared at the completely invisible sheath on her upper thigh. “I can’t wear this to the ball. How is it so invisible? It’s not disillusionment.”

“No, dear, it isn’t,” Dorea agreed, moving around to cast a few more charms on her hair to ensure it stayed put. “And I’m certain you won’t need it.”

“Because you have people there to protect me,” Alexia said doubtfully. “No one has kept him away from me so far, Mum.”

“Mm, that was before I really got involved,” Dorea assured her. “Now I’m going to cast a spell on this and it’ll feel weird, okay?”

“What will it do?”

“It’ll make sure that no one can feel the dagger if they brush up against you,” her mother explained as she silently waved her wand at the invisible sheath. Alexia gasped at the feeling of something binding to her upper thigh. “I promise you, he won’t hurt you tonight, sweetheart.”

“It’s seven,” Alexia muttered, glancing up at the clock on the wall opposite her. “You’re going to be late to greet everyone if you don’t get there soon. Lady Longbottom always comes super early.” 

Dorea frowned disapprovingly at her daughter as her eye caught on a dark bruise on the slightly exposed part of Alexia’s chest. “And how did you get this one?” 

Alexia followed her gaze and frowned, trying to remember. “Uh… I think that was an  _ impulsum _ curse. It’s fine.” 

“I can’t glamour this,” Dorea muttered after trying. She sighed and shook her head at her daughter. “Try covering it with some muggle makeup, dear.”

“I don’t know how to cover entire bruises,” Alexia admitted. “I didn’t use makeup much. I can try.” 

“Go ahead,” Dorea confirmed. “But you’re right, I have to go.” 

Alexia let her mother kiss her cheek and didn’t bother to watch her leave the room. She turned to grab her beaded bag and cursed upon remembering that she’d left it in the ballroom earlier when helping the elves move all the drinks from the kitchen. She breathed out a frustrated sigh and hurried down to the room to grab it. No one was there yet, so she plucked it off the table and hurried through a side door where she promptly slammed directly into someone and dropped her bag. 

“Shit,” she cursed softly, taking a step back. Her eyes landed on Regulus and widened quickly. “Reg!”

“Lexi-,”

Alexia wrapped him up in a tight hug and felt a soft noise leave her mouth. “I’ve been so  _ worried _ .” 

“I’m okay,” he assured her quietly, wrapping his arms around her just as tight as if she were a lifeline he couldn’t afford to let go of. “Are you?” 

She didn’t bother to reply and just kept hugging him. She was concerned about Sirius, too, of course, but Regulus was the one that had taken the mark, had killed someone, and the more she thought about it, the less willing she was to release him. 

“I can’t  _ breathe _ ,” he said reluctantly after about three minutes. Alexia released him with a frown and took the time to look him over more closely. He looked perfectly fine, but she was sure he wasn’t.

“Come with me,” she requested, plucking her bag from the floor. He glanced around but did as she said and followed her into the kitchen and up that set of stairs to her bedroom."

“What are you doing?” he questioned when she dug her arm into her beaded bag. When she pulled it out again, she had a small glass bottle with some tan looking thick liquid in it and he blinked a few times. “What is that?”

“Concealer,” she answered. To his surprise, she shoved her dress aside a little to reveal a dark, nasty bruise. She began to apply the makeup and threw her head back in frustration. “I knew it wouldn’t work. Mum’s gonna be so upset.”

“Where did you get that?” he asked softly, stepping closer to touch it. It wasn’t anywhere inappropriate, exactly, but the spot in general was one he’d be horribly scolded for touching at all. 

Alexia watched him accidentally swipe off some of the makeup and hissed at the light pressure on the bruise. “I’ve been fighting. It was an  _ impulsum _ curse. I’ll be fine, it just barely hit me. I just can’t get rid of the bruise.” 

“Fighting?” he repeated softly, looking her over more closely now. She nodded a little. 

“Have you? Did you… did you get the mark?” 

Regulus hesitated for a moment before he pushed his sleeve up to show her. She reached out to touch it and closed her eyes when her fingers grazed the dark mark. “I didn’t fight it.” 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her eyes moving up to his own. He stared back at her, completely unafraid in the way that most purebloods were. There was a reason eye contact wasn’t common in the wizarding world and it was that it was simply too easy to invade someone’s mind. Alexia was surprised to find that Regulus didn’t seem concerned at all. “Reg?” 

“You know, I think there’s a lot I’d do for you,” he admitted softly. “I didn’t do this for you, Alexia, but I think I’d do it again for you.” 

“Regulus-,”

“Can’t you stay  _ safe _ ?” he requested, his eyes falling back on her bruise. “It’s selfish, Lexi, but I don’t want to worry about you on top of everything else. You need to stay safe.” 

“Someone has to fight,” she defended, unsure what to think about his request. “People are going to die.” 

“I know,” he confirmed, meeting her eyes again. “I know that a lot better now than I did two weeks ago. Just don’t let it be you that dies.” 

“Reg, I-,”

“I have to get back before Mother notices I’m gone,” he interrupted. He touched her arm lightly and turned and left the room, leaving her a little bit defensive and a lot confused. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this might be the last chapter for now. I need to start posting my other stories on here, which will take time, too.


	24. Feels Like Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pure confusion. Not from me, from Alexia. She has no fucking clue what's going on and that's totally valid. It'll take a while.

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

_ I wanna breathe with ease again _

_ I wanna get some fucking sleep again _

_ You only ask forgiveness after it’s gone wrong _

**December 31st, 1974**

When Alexia got to the ballroom again, it was after a thirty-minute struggle with the bruise on her chest. She’d ended up calling for Dorcas to come over early and help her figure it out, and the girl had done so happily before sneaking off to find Marlene. 

Alexia scanned the room carefully. It was 7:45 and nearly everyone was already there. She saw Sirius - who looked to be injury free, likely healed because of the ball - dancing with Narcissa and slowly edging away from Bellatrix, who had brought Rodolphus as they’d been married the year before. 

An arm wrapped around her shoulders and Alexia glanced to her left to find Fabian looking out at the crowd with her. “Whatcha looking at, Pip?”

“Trying to see if Dolohov is here already,” she answered. Her eyes fell on his carefully pulled back hair and she sighed. “Yep.” 

Fabian frowned down at her. “I thought Lord Potter banned him from coming ever again.” 

“He had, but with everything that’s going on, no one is willing to miss any huge gathering of politicians, so Lord Dolohov lost his shit on Dad and Mum told Dad to let them come. She won’t tell any of us why but she swore Dolohov won’t hurt me. Still gave me an invisible sheath for my daggers, though, so she’s obviously worried.” 

“We’ll watch out for you,” Fabian promised, kissing the top of her head. “You’re not wrong though. Obviously, people are worried because I’ve seen members of the Black family in the past five minutes that haven’t been around for ten years or more.”

“Really?” she raised an eyebrow and glanced around. “Who?” 

“Arcturus was at the last ball, but he came late and left early. He was here when I got here tonight. Alphard Black is here, too, and he only started coming last year, too. I saw a woman that I’m pretty sure is Arcturus’s sister, and I actually saw my Aunt Lucretia, who is Orion’s sister.” 

Alexia blinked a few times. “That is odd, usually I only see Orion and Walburga here.”

“Yep. Something’s going on. But I’ll let Gid know that Dolohov is here and we’ll come to check on you every so often, okay, Pip?”

“Thanks,” Alexia smiled and squeezed him softly before he let go and made his way into the thick group of people beginning to dance. She took in a deep breath and was about to step into the people as well when a hand grabbed hers and she twisted around. “Lucius!” 

“Alexia,” he said softly. He pulled her into a hug and she gasped in surprise, aware that they were in a large group of a lot of people. 

“Lucius,” she said, pulling away a little to look at him. He looked okay but the look in his eyes was intense and full of fear. “Fuck, are you okay?” 

“It has been a long break,” was the only answer he gave her. His hand came up to stroke her cheek and she leaned into it, still watching him. “We can talk later. For now, dance with me.” 

Alexia agreed easily and let him pull her away. They were given three songs before each of them were forced to begin dancing with everyone else, but they were both much calmer by the time they were pulled away. Alexia was pulled into a dance first with Gideon, who made sure she was okay. From there, it was a myriad of purebloods that had come to the ball. 

The Potter family were spread throughout the ballroom almost the entire night. It gave the kids very little time to actually spend with their friends, which meant that all of them were, generally, miserable. 

It was two hours into the ball when the inevitable happened and Dolohov managed to pull Alexia into a dance. She wasn’t entirely sure how it had happened - she’d been very careful to check who was trying to dance with her before actually dancing, but it seemed that he’d caught her off guard and she was forced to dance with him. 

“Dolohov, I swear to  _ god _ ,” Alexia hissed quietly as he pulled her into a dance. “Don’t get any ideas. I’ve got people watching me.” 

“The Prewett twins,” Dolohov agreed, raising an eyebrow at her. “Both of whom are busy right now with Elora Zabini and Lady Nott.” 

“So you plan to hurt me at my own family’s ball again?” she asked softly, genuinely wanting to know. She felt exhausted at the prospect of covering it up again. 

“You know, Alexia,” he said, pulling her against his chest when she wasn’t expecting it and forcing her to grab him to stay upright. “I enjoy this. Our back and forth.”

“That makes one of us.” 

“But we’ve never spoken before,” he pointed out. She stared at him and wondered just how stupid he was. 

“Because you keep trying to kill me!” 

“I haven’t, though,” he said with a chuckle. “You’re fun, Potter. Tell me, why do you stick with your brother and the other Gryffindors when you’re so clearly attracted to Slytherins?”

Alexia’s eyes shot to his purely out of confusion and shock and she was surprised when he refrained from searching through her mind the way he’d tried to do the year before. “Do you say that because I’m dating Lucius?” 

“And the way you hang all over Black,” he nodded at her. She stared at him, forgetting to look away from his eyes, though he still didn’t try to invade her mind. 

“Dolohov, I don’t feel anything for Regulus or Sirius.” 

“I never mentioned Sirius.” 

Alexia threw her head back in frustration. “I don’t understand what you want from me. Do you want to kill me? Just because I dosed you in second year?”

His eyes lit up at her slip. “You admit that you dosed me.” 

“Yes, I do,” she said. It was useless to lie at that point and she knew it. “Someone told me that you were saying particularly nasty things about Sirius and I, so I decided to get back at you. The only things that got hurt by it were your ego and my skull when you shoved me down the fucking stairs.” 

“You shouldn’t have been caught.” 

Alexia shrugged and gripped onto him when he dipped her suddenly. The way she fell against his chest made him grin at her. “Don’t do that!”

“We’re dancing, Potter. It’s what people do.”

Alexia frowned at him and got back to his last statement. “I know I shouldn’t have been caught. There was no possible way for it to get back to me. The only reason McGonagall picked me was that I was laughing first.”

“Because you knew to watch me,” he pointed out, whispering to her now as the song changed to a slower one and she still hadn’t found an escape. “You could be such a wonderful Slytherin, Alexia. I’ve been watching you.”

“I thought you hate me,” she reminded him. “Why the hell are you  _ talking _ to me?” 

“I don’t hate you,” he said honestly. “You pissed me off, Potter. I got back at you. I’m speaking with you because Lucius Malfoy spent the last week pleading your case to the Dark Lord to keep the Dark Lord from killing you.” 

Alexia sucked in a sharp breath and stilled. He let her, standing still as well while everyone around them continued dancing. “He wants me dead? Why?”

“He did,” Dolohov corrected softly. “He wanted you dead because you’re a risk, Alexia. You sit between four Slytherins, two of whom are now Death Eaters, and your Gryffindor friends and family. Dangerous. Given the proper… motive, you could either join us or possibly turn Lucius and Regulus to the light. You’re a cause for concern.” 

“And Lucius was… successful in pleading for my life?” she wondered, frowning up at him. 

“No.”

Alexia stiffened in his arms. “So you are here to hurt me, then.”

“No, I’m not. Not this time, at least.” Her confusion must’ve been clear because he chuckled softly at her. “While Lucius was unsuccessful in convincing the Dark Lord of your potential worth, I was not.”

“You… what are you saying? You convinced Voldemort not to kill me?” 

Dolohov’s eyes flashed dangerously. “Be careful who you say his name around, Potter. Anyone else might not forgive the disrespect.” 

“Answer my question, Dolohov, or I’ll scream.” 

“I convinced the Dark Lord that should Lucius fail to convince you to join us, I will control you.” 

“ _ Control me _ ?” Alexia’s confused frown turned to a disgusted glare. “I’ll never join Voldemort. I need you to look at me and see how serious I am when I say I’d rather die. In fact, I’d kill myself before joining him.”

“I’m aware.” 

Alexia wondered if she was losing her mind. She’d spoken with him more than ever before during their dance and was beginning to consider the possibility that  _ he _ was losing his mind. “Explain.” 

“You’re not going to die,” he told her softly, pulling his hand up to stroke her hair. “Whether you like it or not, I’m your best chance for protection. If you want to keep the Dark Lord away from you, you have to stop attacking me.” 

“I’ve attacked you  _ once _ and it was after you threw my brother off his broom!” 

“Alexia,” he whispered, stepping closer. “I’m trying to help you. If you continue to be so… hostile, I cannot do that.” 

“What the hell do you  _ mean _ ? What do you want from me?”

Dolohov’s eyes darkened but he smiled at her softly. “You’ll find out.”

Alexia closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. She didn’t know what to believe. She didn’t want to think that Dolohov was her best chance at safety from Voldemort, but she had no way to prove that he wasn’t. 

“You’re scared,” he muttered into her ear. She shivered at the feeling of his warm breath on her neck, reminding her of the other times he’d been that close to her. “Scared of me or of the Dark Lord?” 

“Voldemort will not win,” she told him, meeting his gaze once more. “One day, maybe not as soon as I wish, he will be so high and so strong and it will be that day that he’s going to be killed, his followers rounded up, and I will win this war.” 

“You seem very certain of that,” he said, amused. 

“I am completely certain,” she nodded firmly. “That day, you might not be caught with his other followers. What will you do? Where will you go if you surround yourself with this darkness?” 

“In this scenario, I would come find you,” he promised her softly. “And you will help me.” 

Alexia scoffed. “You’re delusional if you think I’ll help you after what you’ve done to me.” 

“Tell me,” he said suddenly, his tone familiar, one she’d heard the year before. “What  _ did _ happen to you? I only tortured you for a couple of minutes, Alexia. Who hurt you? You’re so  _ broken _ .”

She stared at him and cursed the flash of pain that she knew crossed her face. “I think I’m done dancing with you.” 

“You’ll tell me someday,” he assured her, dropping his hands from her hips, much to her relief. Before he walked away, he pressed a firm kiss to her forehead and then left her standing in the middle of the dancing couples to process the conversation she’d just had.

It was Regulus, to her relief, that found her there. He was dancing with one of the fifth year girls that had come to the ball when he spotted her. She’d previously been blocked from view by Dolohov, but now that he was gone, Regulus saw her and the furious mix of emotions on her face. Without a word to the girl he was dancing with, he let go of her and made his way to Alexia and grabbed her into a hug, which she returned upon recognizing him. 

“Aren’t you… meant to be dancing?” she managed after a minute. He nodded into her shoulder. 

“So are you, Lexi. What’s wrong?” 

Alexia chewed on her lip and stepped back to look at him. No matter how hard she tried, she was unable to find words to explain that were appropriate for standing in the middle of the dance floor. She supposed that hugging in the middle of it wasn’t appropriate, either. 

“Do you… need to go?” he frowned at her. She hesitated for a moment before she nodded again. Silently, he slipped his hand into hers and led her from the ballroom and up some stairs. From there, he let her lead him down the hall. Instead of her bedroom, she took him to a room that required a password - pumpkin juice - and collapsed into the giant blanket and pillow fort, one which they’d grown every time they were home. “Lexi, what- where are we?” 

“Fort,” she answered softly. “For when it’s bad. When I need to hide.” 

“It’s bad,” he repeated, sitting down carefully across from her on a few cushions. “What happened?” 

“Dolohov.”

Regulus’s eyes widened and he looked over her three times before he spoke again. “Are you… you don’t seem hurt.” 

“I’m not,” she agreed quietly. “But he told me… we talked, Reg, and it’s not good. Have you seen Lucius at all over break?” 

“No. The Dark Lord visited us at our home. We haven’t gone to see him.” 

“Dolohov told me some things,” she explained to him, meeting his worried eyes. He could see the fear in hers and wondered why it didn’t seem like it was about Dolohov. “He said- fuck, Reg, Voldemort wants to kill me.”

Regulus was forced to grab onto the cushions around him for stability when he was suddenly dizzy and filled with fear. “Dolohov is here to kill you?” 

“I thought so,” she whispered, a confused frown coming over her. “I don’t understand, Reg. I don’t get what he’s doing. I thought he wants me dead.”

“The Dark Lord?”

“Dolohov,” she corrected. 

“That theory would be supported by the time he tried to kill you,” he said, wincing at his own frustrated tone. “I’m sorry. Tell me what he said, Lexi.” 

“He said- he told me that Lucius spent the break begging for my life and Voldemort refused and that… Regulus, he said  _ he _ convinced Voldemort not to kill me.”

Regulus froze, his mind racing. His eyes drifted over her once more to confirm that she was alright as he tried to process her words. “Why would he suddenly help you after attacking you and trying to kill you?”

“He seemed…” Alexia trailed off hesitantly. 

“Tell me.”

“He seemed genuine,” she admitted. “Terrifying, and he openly admitted that he might hurt me again, but he actually seemed like he wanted to keep me from Voldemort. I told him I’d kill myself before joining Voldemort, and he had no issue with it, Reg. He knew. I don’t… understand.” 

“You think he’s telling the truth,” Regulus said, mostly to himself. “We need to… find Lucius. He needs to confirm what Dolohov said before anything else.” 

“Reg,” Alexia grabbed his hand before he could get up and leave. “What is he going to do? Why didn’t he hurt me? Why is he helping me?”

“I have a few ideas,” he admitted reluctantly. “None of them are good, Lexi. He might be doing you a favor but he’s no less of a danger to you.” 

“I know,” she promised. “He… said I was scared and he asked me if I was scared of him or Voldemort. Is it fucked up that I’m more afraid of him now than I am of Voldemort?” 

“Voldemort isn’t obsessed with you,” was Regulus’s gentle answer. She nodded and released his hand and he left the room, ducking under a blanket to do so. A moment after he left, she got to her feet and left the room as well and made her way to the staircase, sitting on the stairs at the bottom of the first floor. It was about the time when most people took breaks from dancing, which meant there were a few groups of people milling about in the hall, which included Narcissa and Andromeda. It was as she was observing the sisters that Narcissa caught sight of her and frowned in concern. Before she could stop her, she made her way over with Andromeda. 

“Lexi, you’re quite pale,” Narcissa told her gently. “What’s wrong?” 

Alexia looked between them with a weak smile. “I’ve… received some concerning news. I’m glad to see you guys have a chance to catch up, though.” 

“Oh, yes, I appreciate the invitation,” Andromeda smiled at her. “I was certain I’d be excluded from all events now.”

“Mum’s pissed,” Alexia said honestly. “I overheard her threatening to do some nasty things to your father. She’s got people watching me, but she’s got people watching you, too. If anyone hurts you, they face the wrath of Dorea Potter."

“Alexia,” Lucius said, catching sight of her as he raced out of the hall. Regulus was behind him and she offered them both a smile. 

“I’m fine,” she assured them. 

“I disagree,” Narcissa told her. “Something happened.” 

“Something always happens at the ball,” she shrugged. “Not as bad as the year he cursed me, I guess… well, that might not be true. I suppose it depends.” 

“Who?” 

Alexia glanced at her boyfriend and friend and then back at the sisters. “It doesn’t matter. I’m alright. If you’ll excuse me, Cissa, Andromeda, I need to talk to them.” 

They were excused and it was ten minutes later when they’d gone back to the fort and had explained everything to Lucius, who looked quite pale and sick. 

“It’s true,” Alexia realized, dropping her face into her hands. “I don’t know what to do. He’s protecting me but he’s still willing to hurt me.”

“He said that?” Lucius asked her, though he believed it. She shrugged. 

“I asked him if he was here to hurt me and he said not this time, which is a pretty clear indicator that he hasn’t ruled it out in the future.” 

“Then the question is what he wants with you,” Regulus told them when Lucius didn’t reply. “I have a few ideas but my main guess is that he wants to make sure you owe him. What he uses that debt for is… anyone’s guess.” 

“What do I do? I don’t know how to- I don’t know what to do.” 

“Avoid him,” Lucius answered her gently. “Avoid him and… be thankful that someone changed the Dark Lord’s mind.” 

“I can’t be thankful to Dolohov,” she muttered, mostly to herself. “And if he doesn’t want me to avoid him?”

“We deal with that when we get there,” Regulus suggested. “But if the Dark Lord is worried about your loyalties, it might be a good idea to begin spending more time with us, Lexi. Not more than with your other friends, just more time, especially in public.”

“The library is public!” 

“Not public enough.”

* * *

**January 3rd, 1975**

Returning to school was difficult for many of them. 

The events of the ball were, for the time being, kept quiet. Alexia, Regulus, and Lucius had all agreed that the Marauders didn’t need to know for the simple fact that they wouldn’t handle it well. That meant that Dorea and Charlus weren’t told, either, a fact that Alexia felt very guilty about. 

That day brought five very excited Marauders to the Great Hall. They’d stayed up all night placing the necessary charms and spells for the prank ahead, and Remus and James had spent four hours trying to figure out how to exclude them from the prank. 

The Great Hall was bursting with students and teachers alike when the prank activated. 

The first person to be effected was Marlene. While she didn’t know about the prank before hand, she was grinning as the urge to stand on the table and sing overwhelmed her. 

“My, my,” Marlene began, singing loudly enough to quiet the hall. “At Waterloo Napoleon did surrender.”

“Miss McKinnon, get down from there,” McGonagall chided from the staff table. 

Dumbledore was the next to his feet and he looked just as amused as Marlene as he belted out the next lyrics. 

“Oh yeah. And I have met my destiny in quite a similar way. The history book on the shelf is always repeating itself.”

The song continued on with more and more students and teachers joining in until, by the second verse, the entire school was singing save for the Marauders, who were in tears with laughter. 

The worst part about the prank was that the singing didn’t end when the song did. Instead, the song started over again with everyone still forced to sing. Some students looked angry while others just seemed tired. A select few, like Fabian and Gideon, were laughing as they sang the words to the popular song. 

It took McGonagall nearly twenty minutes to threaten the Marauders into fixing it for the mere fact that she couldn’t actually yell at them and had to glare and write her demands on a napkin. Luckily for them, Dumbledore stepped in to stop them from getting detention. 

“A wonderful welcome to our new semester! And ten points to each of you for magnificent spellwork!”

* * *

**January 23rd, 1975**

“Can we- Lex, slow  _ down _ ,” James told her, racing after her. She stopped only when he grabbed her arm and tugged to get her to stop running, and she stumbled a little as she lost her momentum. He grabbed her to steady her, frowning at her. 

“I’m going to be late,” she said irritably, tapping her foot. “Jamie, I don’t have time.”

“We were in the middle of a prank,” he told her in confusion. “I don’t get it, where are you going?” 

“Do you trust me?”

“Of course.” 

“Then trust me when I say that it’s important that I hang out with Lucius and Regulus while there are a lot of people around, okay?”

“ _ Why _ ?” 

Alexia brushed his hands off of her. “Can’t tell you, Jamie. I’ll be back in a couple of hours.” 

James sighed as she turned around and ran out of the common room. Frustrated, he made his way back up to the boys’ dorm and plopped down on the ground across from Remus. “I don’t get it. What’s going on with her?” 

“She’s been spending way more time with them,” Sirius agreed. “Something’s going on.” 

“I wouldn’t know,” Pete muttered bitterly. “She’s still pissed at me.” 

James glared at his friend. “Because you’re gross, Wormtail. If you didn’t want her to be upset, you shouldn’t have tried to crawl into her bloody underwear drawer.” 

“It’s been so long,” he threw his hands up. “She’s gotta forgive me sometime!” 

“Sure,” Remus snorted. “Alex isn’t too likely to forget it, Pete. Have you bothered apologizing?”

“Of course I have!” 

“For upsetting her or for doing it in the first place?” Sirius asked. Peter hesitated, and Sirius nodded. “The difference is important to her. That’s how I got her to forgive me for hexing Snivellus in first year.” 

“Girls are bloody impossible,” Peter muttered, turning away from the conversation and back to the books spread out in front of them. 

* * *

“Alexia,” Narcissa called, gathering her attention. Alexia blinked a few times and looked up from the book in her lap, a book whose pages hadn’t been turned in over thirty minutes. “Distracted?” 

“Very,” she agreed, closing the book and dropping her hand over the title of it. “What’s up?” 

“I am being presented to society over the summer,” Narcissa explained to her. “I hoped you would come.” 

Alexia screwed up her face. “Cissa… I’m not sure your family will exactly welcome me.” 

“You might be surprised,” Narcissa hummed. “My godmother, Cassiopeia, is to be there. I think you would adore each other.” 

“It can’t be a good idea,” Alexia said, glancing at Lucius and Regulus. “Right?” 

“Well…” Regulus looked between the girls thoughtfully. “It might help with your current… issue, Lexi, being seen with more of the Black family and others more closely aligned with the Dark Lord.”

“Reg, I don’t want him to think he should actually invite me to join him,” she scoffed. “It might be a fine line we’re treading, but I don’t want to get too deep in this shit.” 

“If that were true, you wouldn’t have joined the Order,” he shot back, earning himself a glare. 

“One society event isn’t too deep,” Lucius assured her softly. “I agree with Regulus. You should go.” 

“Oh,” Narcissa gasped. “Perhaps we should introduce you as well!” 

“ _ No _ ,” Alexia said with a horrified look. “Merlin, Cissa, I’d rather throw myself off a cliff.”

“Mm, it might be a good idea,” Regulus told her. She narrowed her eyes at the boy. 

“The next time you agree with her, I’m going to hex your mouth shut, Regulus Black.” 

“Listen,” Lucius told her, grabbing her hand. “It might seem like a bad idea to you, but I think it would work. It would give you access to events that would help you give the idea that you’re grounded in darker areas.”

“What am I supposed to tell my parents? ‘Hey, Mum, I know I’m supposed to avoid these people and I’ve been fighting them all through break and plotting their downfall with bloody Albus Dumbledore, but I’d like to present myself to society so that they can judge me and try to match me with some gross pureblood. No, I’m sure they won’t try to fucking murder me, of course, not.’”

“Maybe don’t say all that,” Regulus let out a short laugh. 

“Most girls are introduced at fourteen,” Narcissa told Alexia. “I would have been, but with Andromeda running away and Bella getting married, they decided to put it off for a year."

“I hate this,” Alexia muttered. “My family doesn’t do this shit. What’s my excuse for it?” 

“You’re close with us,” Narcissa said, nodding at herself and Regulus. “And Lucius, and we’ve taught you the importance of being included in these things.”

“The issue would be teaching you how to behave,” Lucius muttered, mostly to himself. Alexia glared at her boyfriend and waited until he noticed her. To her frustration, he just chuckled. “Don’t glare at me, Alexia. You know what I meant, you’re just angry that you have to do this.”

“I don’t have to do anything,” she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “Maybe I’ll just run away and hide out with my family in Russia or France. I’m not born yet, but…”

“You have family in Russia and France?” Narcissa wondered curiously. Alexia nodded a little. 

“I haven’t met the bigger extended family yet,” she admitted. “On either side. I should check on them, actually, and make sure they’re okay…” she shook herself from the idea that perhaps the war had reached them and focused back on her friend. “But my mother was French. She moved to London for university and stayed there when she met my father. His grandparents, my great-grandparents, were Russian, and they lived there and had a rather large family before they died. We’ve only ever visited a couple of my aunts there.” 

“Interesting,” Lucius hummed. “I’ve got some family in France, too, actually. The Malfoys are from France, but a number of us moved to England about a hundred years ago. The Matriarch is still there.”

“Matriarch?” Alexia repeated in surprise. “You have a Matriarch?” 

“Yes,” he smiled at her when she grinned happily. “She is my great grandmother, Lisette Malfoy.”

“Perhaps we should get back to the point,” Regulus suggested, gathering their attention. “Which is that we have about five months to teach Lexi everything she needs to know before being presented to society.” 

Alexia groaned and threw herself back onto the blanket behind her. She was  _ not _ looking forward to whatever they planned for her.

* * *

**March 3rd, 1975**

Lily had been on the Quidditch team all year and had been getting steadily better. She trained often and found that she actually did enjoy the game quite a bit, to her surprise. It had the effect, however, of putting her with James and Sirius quite a bit. Since it was getting closer to the end of the Quidditch season, they trained four times a week, and twice a day for two of those days. With how little time they had for studying, they tended to do it together when they  _ did _ find the time. 

Which was how Sirius found himself in the position he was in.

The three of them had been sitting in the common room for three hours already, and it was midnight when it happened. Sirius had dozed off with his quill in his hand, so the parchment he’d been working on was covered in ink. That wasn’t his issue, however. His issue was that James and Lily were sitting across from him on the couch making out. 

When his eye peeked open and caught sight of them, he froze. His mind drifted back to what Alexia had accidentally let slip during one of her episodes the year before: James and Lily Potter. 

They hadn’t yet noticed that he was awake again, and while he didn’t want to interrupt, he also didn’t want to be there. He  _ did _ want to know how the hell it had happened. Last he’d heard, James had thrown Snivellus in the air to get away from her after a kiss. 

Sirius had to refrain from snorting at the awkward way James was holding her. It seemed he’d tried to pull her into his arms but the books in between them had been wedged in the middle of them, leaving them a bit far apart while they tried to makeout. 

It didn’t really look like they were letting up, though, so Sirius moved painstakingly slowly to ensure they wouldn’t notice him moving or hear him putting his things on the ground. With his book, parchment, and quill off of his lap, Sirius grabbed James’s cloak from the floor next to his chair and quietly pulled it over his head. Finally, he found himself able to sneak up to his dorm, where he closed the door behind him and let out a laugh. 

“Padfoot?” Alexia asked from James’s bed. She had a book in her lap and her wand out for light, so he walked over and sat down next to her. She let out a small laugh and poked his cheek. “You’ve got some drool.”

“I fell asleep,” Sirius said, using James’s blanket to wipe off his face. “You won’t fucking believe what I woke up to, Ash.”

“Hm?” she wondered as she marked her page and closed her book. He could tell it was one of the ones he’d gotten for her from Black library and did his best not to make a face. 

“James and Lily Potter,” he grinned. “Were making out on the couch.”

Alexia gasped loudly, her eyes comically wide. “Oh my god! I knew he felt too pleased! Oh…  _ ew _ .”

Sirius threw his head back and laughed. “Shit, kitten, I definitely don’t envy you. They were really going at it, though. Didn’t even notice me sneak up here.” 

“Oh, god,” Alexia groaned, looking disgusted. “What about when Jamie or I have sex? Will we- Sirius, oh my god! You have to help me fix this! Destroy the bond!” 

Sirius rolled his eyes at her. “Remember when you were mad at us for hexing Snape?” 

“Which time?” 

“In first year.”

“Yes…”

“Prongs said you felt distant, like he couldn’t feel your emotions anymore. I’d guess it just takes a conscious effort to keep him away from your emotions. And maybe practice.” 

“Thank Merlin,” she breathed. “Oh, god. What if they- Lily doesn’t know the spell, Pads! She could get pregnant if they-,”

“Mum and Dad gave us the talk, remember? While you ran away with Malfoy?” 

“James is an idiot, he’s going to forget,” she pointed out. “Should we… should we stop them?”

“Fuck no,” Sirius said, grabbing her arm. “Lexi, no. Just leave it. There’s potions and spells for after if it comes to that. Doubt it will. They were a bit awkward despite their determination. I don’t think they’re quite ready for sex, kitten.” 

“Thank Merlin.”

Sirius studied her for a minute. “Are you?”

Alexia froze, confused and startled and a little bit angry. “ _ Excuse me _ ?” 

“We’re friends, Ash,” he sighed. “You tell me and I’ll tell you.” 

“Why do you think I would want to discuss any hypothetical sex life with you?” 

“Because you wanna know about me.”

Alexia felt her eye twitch but nodded once. “Fine. I haven’t had sex yet. I’m not sure when I’ll be ready or who it’ll be with.” 

“Malfoy hasn’t tried anything?” 

“He stops every time I tell him to stop,” she assured him. 

Sirius nodded, grateful. He hadn’t assumed Malfoy would hurt her, but he was still worried, especially after seeing James’s boggart. “Dorcas and I had sex.”

Alexia rolled her eyes. “You know you could always mess with girls other than my friends, right?” 

“Your friends are fit.” 

“You’re gross.” 

“Hey, it’s not just me messing with your friends,” he defended. “Moony went on a date with Mary and Prongs is down there right now sticking his tongue down Lily’s throat.” 

Alexia screwed up her face. “That’s my brother!” 

“And your future sister-in-law,” Sirius grinned and ducked the pillow she threw at him.

* * *

**March 17th, 1975**

Fabian and Gideon were wiping sweat from their faces while Alexia used her wand to spray herself with water, choosing a quicker route to cool down from their intense duel. It had come immediately after an Order meeting, letting them see her adult self for the first time ever. It was a bit less unsettling to see that sort of power come from a nineteen-year-old woman rather than the fifteen-year-old she was with the potion. 

“Pip,” Gideon said, gathering her attention. She sprayed them with water a bit, earning herself an eye roll and one dirty look. “Watch out or we’ll go again, Lexi.”

“What’s up?” she asked them with a laugh, putting her wand away. 

“We’re graduating this year,” Fabian reminded her, glancing at his brother. 

“We’re worried.” 

“About?” 

“ _ You _ . Things are getting bad, Alexia. Dolohov is a Death Eater. He’s got more resources and more reason to hurt you now.” 

“He didn’t hurt me at the ball,” she reminded them carefully. 

“We know that.” 

“But we’ve got a plan,” Gideon told her. “To help you. But next year, you’re gonna be on your own here, okay?”

“Just next year?” she raised an eyebrow at them. To her surprise, they nodded. “Guys, I can handle myself. I haven’t gotten hurt too bad this year.”

“Yet,” Fabian reminded her. “Don’t jinx yourself.” 

“I’m not gonna knock on wood,” she laughed. “Saying I haven’t gotten hurt too bad this year isn’t going to somehow cause me to get hurt.”

“Don’t tempt fate,” Gideon told her seriously. “She’s fickle.” 

“If we’re done with the superstitions, are you guys going to tell you this plan of yours?” 

“Not yet.” 

“So the point of this conversation was…?”

“To remind you to be careful.” 

Alexia shook her head at them but allowed them to wrap her up in a hug. She knew they cared and it meant a lot to her. They reminded her of a mix between Molly, Fred and George, and Bill. It often helped her feel a lot less homesick. So she nodded at them and promised to be careful, and soon their session ended and she was forced to get back to her life as a fifteen-year-old again. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been posting other stories all day so I thought I'd post more of this! The next few days might see fewer chapters posted of all stories because I've got a family thing tomorrow and then work - I'm working again!! - over the weekend. Wish me luck that I don't lose my mind lmao
> 
> Okay adding to this- literally two minutes ago I got a review wondering how she and Antonin will end up together... does this help a bit? If it helps, their relationship was NOT supposed to happen. It was a complete accident.


	25. My Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uhh... my guess is, the summer, and then being presented to society?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know Russian! So, anything italicized is Russian. This carries through... everything. The rest of this fic and my entire multiverse.

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

_ Cold nights under siege from accusations _

_ Cerebral thunder in one way conversations _

**May 9th, 1975**

The next time Alexia ran into Antonin Dolohov was completely by accident and just as confusing as her last encounter with him. 

Alexia had snuck off with Remus to the small area behind Hagrid’s hut. The half-giant was currently away for Dumbledore, and she knew he was scouting the giants to try and figure out if Voldemort had contacted them yet. It had been Alexia’s suggestion since she remembered the giants fighting for Voldemort in the final battle. 

No one was around the hut, and she was using a few trees for target practice. She was aware that there were students in the forest that day doing work for Professor Sprout, but she also knew that she’d hear them before she’d hit them, so she wasn’t worried. Her wand sat in Remus’s lap along with his book, and she glanced back at him after casting a few wandless spells and throwing one of her daggers. 

“Moony?” she called. He glanced up at her tiredly. “Are you planning to ask Mary out again?”

“Am I- what? Alex… what?” 

“Well, you went on a date with her last year,” she reasoned, walking over to grab the dagger from the tree nearest to her. “I think you guys are a good couple. I know she’s quiet, but she's brilliant and really funny.”

“Alex, I  _ can’t _ .”

“Why not?” she screwed up her face at him. 

“Because of my…”

“Furry little problem,” Alexia realized with a sigh. “It’s not like you’re going to be making out with her while you transform, Remus. You can date, you know.” 

“I don’t really want to,” he admitted. “I’m just not interested in it like you and Sirius are. Er- with other people, not each other. I know you’re not there yet.” 

“And I might never be,” she confirmed. “This stupid bond is making everything more difficult, Moony. It was shitty enough being thrown  _ here _ and then becoming James’s sister… I could never regret that you know, but it’s hard. Sirius just makes it so much more difficult.” 

“And Lucius,” Remus nodded. “How’s that going?” 

“Well,” Alexia said, though she threw her dagger particularly hard and a bit farther than she meant to, going farther into the trees than she could easily see. “As I said, it’s just difficult.”

“So difficult that you’re throwing your daggers into a tree even I can’t see?” 

“It is going well,” she promised, glancing back at him. “I love him, Remus. He’s so good to me. He helps me try to make sense of… all of this. But he said something to me that makes me wonder if… I’m making a mistake by telling him so much of my life. I trust him to keep it to himself and protect his mind… around normal people. Voldemort? I don’t know. He’s never entered my mind. Just Bellatrix.” 

Remus’s eyes slid to her now bare arm. The scar had healed completely, and it was only after it was healed that Sirius had let it slip what had happened to her and what word had been carved into her arm. “It’s dangerous, Ash. You’ve known for a while. You knew before you began dating him, didn’t you?”

“I knew before I even became friends with him,” she confirmed, grunting as she threw another dagger far into the trees, this time trying to see how far she could get it to go. “My guess is that I get next year with him, if that. Then…”

“He has to find a wife,” Remus sighed. “You know who?” 

Alexia hummed and used a very light cutting hex to slice the top of her hand. With the blood it drew, she tested out a dangerous shield - a dark blood shield, some magic that no sane person would try to cast for the first time without medical professionals around. “The Black family is trying to reach out. Sirius was going to be betrothed to Elora Zabini, Bellatrix is a Lestrange now. Andromeda was apparently supposed to marry into the Rookwood family according to Regulus, who has only avoided a contract by pledging himself to Voldemort, who told Walburga that Reg has no time for something like marriage.”

“You’re saying… Narcissa?” 

Alexia nodded and dropped the shield with a hiss. The blood on her hand sizzled as the magic burned it, and she dropped her hand to her side to wipe off the boiling blood. When she lifted it again, her hand was burned lightly. “Shit. Uh, yeah. It makes sense. They hang out a lot because of me and they’re friends. That’s about the best you could hope for in an arranged marriage. The Malfoys are powerful, so Arcturus would probably appreciate the match.” 

“You’re hurt,” Remus frowned at her as she rinsed off the burn. “What was that?” 

“Uh… Blood magic?” she winced at the look he gave her. 

“That’s illegal!” 

“So is half the shit I’ve been casting,” she rolled her eyes. “Relax, Remus. It’s practice. You’re here in case I cut myself in half or something.”

“Alexia!” 

“Chill. The shield was the last one I planned to work on today. I just need to grab my daggers. You can head back to the castle if you want. I’ll meet you there in a few minutes.”

With an irritated frown, Remus tossed her wand to her and made his way up the path to the castle. She watched him leave and made her way into the trees, waving her wand at her hand to put a stasis charm over the small injury until she could get to the castle and have it healed. 

When she glanced up at the tree she’d thrown the first dagger into, she froze. It was  _ gone _ . She was certain it had been that tree because she could still sort of see it from where she’d been standing. She reached down to check and see if her magical sheaths had pulled the dagger back, but the locking spell was still on it, so the daggers weren’t there.

Shaking her head, she took the spell off and breathed out a sigh of relief when the daggers returned to the sheath. It was when Alexia turned around that she caught sight of someone behind her. Her wand shot out at them, but they grabbed her arm and twisted it until she was pointing her wand upward. When she reached down to grab her dagger, they grabbed that arm as well and shoved her back into a tree. 

It was that moment that she caught sight of him. 

“Get the fuck off of me, Dolohov,” she spat, tense. He was much too close to her and with her back to the tree, she had nowhere to go. 

“Play nice,” he instructed, slowly releasing her hands. She pulled them down and rubbed her wrist with a wince. To her dismay, he didn’t bother backing away from her. “You were going to attack me, Potter. I had to stop you.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t fucking creep around in the forest,” she suggested sharply, pressing herself back against the tree just to get a little farther away from him. 

“You’re here, too,” he reminded her. “I’d say we’re both creeping around in here.” 

“I was practicing,” she told him. “I assume it was you that took my dagger, then.” 

“It’s interesting,” he commented. “There is a great deal of magic in the dagger and it’s tied to the Potter family.”

“Luckily, some of that magic brings them back to me,” she muttered, glancing up at him. He was gazing down at her seriously, and she resisted the urge to punch him. “Well, if that’s all, I should get back to the castle.” 

Dolohov put one of his hands on the tree to stop her from moving. “Interesting that the dagger should return to you.”

“Why? It’s mine.” 

“Interesting because you’re not a Potter.” 

Alexia tensed, her eyes shooting to meet his. “If I’m not a Potter, how would you explain my twin bond with James? My familial bond with my parents?” 

“Adoption,” he answered simply. “I knew before, but your little conversation with your friend confirmed it again. You’re a Potter via adoption, Alexia.”

“Even if I am, I’m still a Potter,” she told him firmly. “You said it yourself, the magic in my daggers are tied to the Potter family.”

“It took a long time to find you,” he admitted quietly. “And a loud argument with the patriarch.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” 

“I’m not sure yet,” he whispered. “But I’ll figure you out.” 

“Good luck,” she muttered, shoving his arm. “In the meantime, leave me alone.” 

“Play nice,” he reminded her, grabbing her aching wrist again. “There are plenty of people that wouldn’t mind seeing you hurt, Alexia.” 

“And you’re one of them,” she snapped, tearing her wrist away from him. “What do you want from me? You wanna hurt me? After protecting me from Voldemort?” 

Dolohov’s lips thinned. “You’ll soon learn better than to say his name. I warned you once already.” 

“And I ignored you. Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself. Plus, Voldemort is a ridiculous name, Dolohov.  _ Flight from death _ . Your Dark Lord is dramatic as fuck.”

“You speak French?” he wondered curiously. She shrugged. 

“I  _ am _ French.” 

“French and what else, I wonder. Do you know? Do you know this family?” 

“Russian,” she said slowly, unsure why he wanted to know and why she was even answering him. “No, not really. I’ve only visited a couple of times when I was young and only my father’s siblings.” 

“You admit you’re adopted.” 

“Whatever I say won’t change your mind. I don’t understand how you figured it out. Who else knows?”

“No one,” he answered truthfully. “Yet. Tell me… who were you before you were adopted, Alexia? Was your name Alexia?” 

“It doesn’t matter who I was. I’m Alexia Potter. Any ties to my past life don’t exist, Dolohov, so it’s pointless to search for it.” 

Dolohov was quiet for a moment before he spoke again. “Next time, do not use the same hand you cut to cast the shield. You must levitate the blood in the air and begin it then… this burn will not heal easily, Alexia. Go find Malfoy. He can heal it.”

Alexia eyed him with a frown and glanced down at her hurt hand. To her surprise, he released her and walked away, leaving her even more confused and even more concerned. 

* * *

**June 21st, 1975**

Fabian and Gideon Prewett graduated at the top of their class a week before the last day of school. They had one last prank planned for the school, which involved spelling their names onto every magical diploma for fifteen minutes after every student grabbed it. Overall, they were extremely happy with themselves and Alexia, who had been invited along with the other Marauders, was proud of them.

The last week of school was rather boring for everyone else, as per usual. There weren’t many classes and exams were over, which meant that everyone was pretty happy with themselves and their time to relax before they went back home until their next year. 

Everyone but Alexia, who was pacing between her friends in the Room of Requirement, her fingers threaded into her hair in stress. “I don’t know, Cissa! Why am  _ I _ responsible for an old ass man’s ability to control himself around me? It shouldn’t be my job! I’d just be standing there, being a normal fucking person! God, how many fucking pervert old men do you wizards  _ have _ ?”

There was a beat of silence between everyone, the only noise being that of her frustrated noises. 

“I’d say she needs a break,” Regulus suggested, earning himself a glare. “Lexi, you’re about to tear your hair out.” 

“I’ve changed my mind,” she told them seriously. “I’m not doing this. I can’t do this.”

“You can,” Lucius told her, putting his hands on her shoulders to stop her from pacing. She looked up at his eyes with a small frown, her forehead pinched with a migraine. “You know it all, Alexia, you just refuse to practice it.”

“It’s all ridiculous!”

“Perhaps,” he agreed. “But you have to practice it at these gatherings. You have to learn to control yourself.”

Alexia’s eyes flashed angrily. “I  _ can _ control myself!” 

“No, you cannot.”

“ _ Clearly _ I can, otherwise I’d have hexed Regulus already.” 

Regulus narrowed his eyes at her. “Testing my patience, Potter.” 

“Alexia,” Lucius said softly. She met his eyes again and saw his deep concern for her in them. “Try. Please. You’re in real danger.” 

“I don’t think so,” she disagreed, catching onto what he meant. She’d told him about her latest encounter with Dolohov only in the barest sense - she’d told him that they ran into each other in the forest and he’d directed her to Lucius for help healing her burn. Lucius had been bugging her to tell him what else Dolohov had said, but she didn’t feel like sharing. She was extremely unsettled that Dolohov had known she was adopted, but more than that, she was unsettled by the fact that he’d been so interested in her extended family. “Okay. Okay, I’ll do it.” 

It was another four days before her friends had gathered a rather ridiculous panel of judges for her to prove herself in front of. It included Lucius, Regulus, Narcissa, Sirius, and James. Her brother hadn’t taken it well when she’d told him she’d be attending events with Narcissa that summer, and she had managed to refrain from explaining why. Her parents had trusted her, but both were clearly hesitant. Dorea had told her she’d send backup to each event, which only served to confuse her more.

She passed by the standards of everyone. Even Sirius had taken it seriously when he’d seen how worried Lucius had seemed, so he’d put on his best pureblood face and judged her just as they would. 

By the time school let out, she’d agreed to be presented with Narcissa and they would be doing so only a week after school was out. After that, their calendars were full with other events to attend.

They had a full summer ahead of them, one that Alexia was absolutely dreading. 

* * *

**June 25th, 1975**

Alexia groaned in frustration and dropped her hands from the dresses. After hours of picking out multiple different dresses and going shop to shop, she truly couldn’t tell the difference anymore. She was exhausted with dress shopping. The only upside to the trip was that Dorea had taken her and Lily - who had come along to save her from dying in a sea of dresses - to France. She’d allowed Alexia to pick the destination, and she was grateful for the fact that some part of the trip didn’t make her deeply regret agreeing to Narcissa’s plan. 

“I can’t tell the fucking difference anymore, Lils,” she hissed to her friend, who was standing nearby with a book in her hand. “Which of these is cute? Which of these would the sane Alexia pick?”

Lily glanced up and screwed up her face. “Um, neither, Lexi. Why do you need so many dresses again? Can’t you just wear one a few times?”

Alexia mock gasped, her hand coming to cover her mouth. “You’d better not let Narcissa hear you say that. In my experience, such suggestions come with deep glares and condescending tones.” 

Lily giggled and swatted her hand away from her mouth. “Don’t be so dramatic. I bet I know why.”

“Why, then?”

“Because you purebloods want any reason to waste your money.” 

Alexia tilted her head. “Y’know, Lils, I think you might’ve cracked it. In that case… fuck capitalism, I’m not buying another dress!” 

“Alexia,” Dorea sighed, walking back over from a nearby rack. “Language.” 

“Sorry, Mum.”

“You have two more dresses left and then you’re done. Perhaps a change of venue will help. Anywhere else in the world you’d like to shop?”

Alexia shrugged. “I picked France because I’ve been thinking about it a lot, but I’ve been thinking about Russia, too.”

“Mm, I’m not sure I know the best places in Russia…” Dorea tilted her head in consideration. “I suppose we can just try their Diagon Alley and see what it’s like.” 

“We’re leaving?” Alexia perked up, eyes wide. “Can we get food first? If we’re going to submit Lily to more torture, we should definitely at least feed her or she won’t ever hang out with me again.”

“Actually, I’m fine, I’ve got a book- ow!” Lily exclaimed, staring at the leg Alexia had kicked. “Er, right, I’m very hungry and very miserable, Lady Potter.” 

Dorea shook her head at the girls and led them from the store. It took a little bit to get an international portkey from the French ministry, but once they got it, they were in Russia’s ministry in an instant. “I don’t suppose you speak Russian, Alexia?"

“Actually, I do,” she laughed. “And French. My muggle parents taught me both from a young age.”

“Oh, wonderful! Ask for directions, will you?”

Alexia glanced at the nearby help desk and nodded, making her way over. There was a man scribbling furiously on the parchment in front of him and she waited until he looked at her to smile and speak. “ _ Hello. I was wondering if you could give me either directions to your magical community or perhaps a portkey there _ .”

“ _ How many _ ?” he asked. Alexia glanced over at Lily and Dorea.

“ _ Just three. _ ”

The man reached into a drawer in his desk and pulled out a piece of scrap parchment. He silently enchanted it for her and held his hand out. “ _ Four galleons _ .”

Alexia reached into her bag to find the money. “Cheaper in France,” she muttered to herself in English and handed over the requested money. He handed her the parchment and she quickly thanked him and walked back to her mother and friend. “Portkeys are expensive here. We should probably just Apparate back once we’re finished.”

Dorea agreed easily and the three of them used the portkey. They were dropped at what seemed to be the front of the street. There was a row of connected buildings in the middle of two separated streets, creating a sort of double V with two other rows of buildings on either side of the middle row. It was packed full of people doing their shopping, so the trio rushed into the crowd to continue their shopping, a suggestion from Lily when she pointed out that Alexia would likely be even more tired after eating. 

The dress shopping was still miserable but a little more interesting for Alexia as she practiced her Russian. It had been over six years since she’d used it and she was pleased to find that she was still fluent. Her shopping was finished in another hour and a half, and she was happier than she had been all day when she realized she had nothing left to do. All jewelry would be picked from either her private collection, Dorea’s Black heirlooms, or the Potter collection, which was apparently rather extensive. Her shoes had been bought with the dresses so that they would match, and after that, she was done. Anything else that came up could be bought later on.

They found a small restaurant on the more empty side that was, for the most part, empty. There were a few waiters helping the three filled tables in the place. It smelled heavenly, however, so they sat and waited for their drinks. 

“So, dear, will you finally tell us why you want to put yourself through this?” Dorea wondered. “You see that it’s miserable. I did it when I was your age as well, Lexi, but I’d never have chosen it.”

“It’s complicated,” she admitted. “Things have gotten complicated and Cissa, Lucius, and Regulus are all under the impression that this will help… uncomplicate things. Sort of. It’s complicated.” 

“But whose idea was it?” Lily asked her. “I can’t imagine it was yours.” 

“Of course not,” Alexia laughed, rolling her eyes. “I’ve been extremely difficult about the entire thing. It was Cissa’s idea. She originally just invited me to see her be presented, but then the three of them put together this idiotic idea. You wouldn’t believe how often I’ve nearly hexed Regulus. He is incredibly like Sirius when he wants to be. That is to say, he’s very irritating.”

“We tried to teach all of this to James, you know,” Dorea told the girls. “Do you know why his hair is so unruly?”

“Um, Potter genes?”

Dorea shook her head fondly. “Your brother decided that, to get us off his back, he was going to put a hex on his hair.”

Alexia blinked rapidly. “How old was he?”

“Hm… seven, I believe.”

“He knew how to permanently hex his hair at  _ seven _ ?” Lily asked in shock. Dorea let out a laugh.

“No, dear. He didn’t. His answer to that problem was to, of course,  _ create _ a hex. Charlus suggested it was just accidental magic, but I don’t believe it. James is very powerful and brilliant. We decided that if he felt that strongly about it, he didn’t have to go through what we did. We just taught him the important things after that.” 

“Did you teach Lexi anything when she came to stay with you?” Lily wondered curiously. 

“Some of it. She asked us to, actually.”

“I was muggleborn,” Alexia reminded Lily. “I knew very little about the pureblood world that I was supposed to have grown up in. Any faux pas was ignored swiftly because I’m a Potter and we don’t practice much of this.”

“So if you were muggleborn, what was your family like?” Lily wondered curiously. “You’ve never said much about them.”

“I’ve been thinking about them a lot lately,” Alexia admitted. “Well, obviously, my parents were muggles. My Mum grew up in France, thus my French family. My Dad was raised around a lot of Russian family in London, and we sometimes visited his family, but I didn’t know them too well. My parents were… pretty good parents. They just weren’t prepared for magic or what came with it.” 

“It’s hard for uneducated muggles,” Dorea said sadly. “They don’t always handle it well.”

“They tried,” Alexia shrugged, glancing up at the man that was handing out their drinks. “ _ Thank you _ .”

“ _ I will be back for your order _ .”

“Things got hard when I was twelve,” Alexia told them, waiting until the man had left them to explain. “I was petrified in school, which meant that my parents didn’t get any updates until they wrote one of my professors and demanded to know what was going on. Things just got hard after that.” 

“And… you don’t have to answer, Lexi, but your family, did they… die?” 

Alexia hesitated. The truth wasn’t too dangerous for the simple fact that if anyone went looking for her parents in Australia, they wouldn’t be found. “No, not exactly. When things got more dangerous and I knew I was going to be a main target, I also knew that they’d probably try to get to my family to get to me, kill them. So I… I  _ Obliviated _ them both and sent them to Australia. They won’t remember me, but they should be safe there.”

“Oh, Lexi,” Lily breathed, grabbing her hand. “And the rest of your family? Extended family?”

“Honestly, I’m not sure,” Alexia admitted. “I can’t exactly check on them for now, not without help that I can’t get to for some years. I plan to take care of it as soon as I can get to them and have the time.” 

“And I’m sure that you’ll have help,” Dorea promised. “But for now, let’s order and get home. We’ve had a long day.”

* * *

**June 28th, 1975**

The day started early for no other reason than that Alexia was awake in the early morning from a nightmare and unable to fall back asleep. Despite how anxious she’d been leading up to the day itself, there wasn’t much to do until that afternoon when she’d arrive at Black Manor to get ready with her friend. 

Alexia got out of bed and crossed the hall to James’s room. To her surprise, he was already awake and sat on the bed with a piece of parchment, his wand, and a quill and ink. “Jamie? What are you doing?” 

“ _ Merlin _ ,” he said, jumping enough that he had to grab the ink pot before it spilled over his blanket. “Don’t do that, Ash!” 

“What is that?” she asked again, walking over to look down at the parchment. Her eyes widened when she realized what he was doing. “Another map? For  _ home _ ?”

James nodded a little. “For during the ball. I know he didn’t hurt you this year, Lex, but it stressed me the fuck out. This’ll help to calm me down if I can figure out where you are and who you’re with.”

Alexia eyed the map critically. “I’ll help you, but  _ only _ if you promise to use it for the ball and when you can’t find me and not just to bug or prank me.”

James rolled his eyes at her. “Yeah, fine. Come on, I dunno how to draw the sunroom.” 

Alexia joined her twin on his bed and grabbed the parchment from him to help draw. It seemed like he’d been working on it for some time already as it was mostly finished and just needed charms and enchantments. With both of them working on it, it only took two hours to finish drawing out Potter Manor and its grounds. Once that was done, they set to work charming it. 

“Hey, do the names again,” James requested, looking over her shoulder as she waved her empty hand at the map. “You know, the Marauder names.”

“This isn’t the Marauder’s Map, though,” she pointed out. “It’s just ours, we’re making it.” 

“So… it’s the Potter Map,” James shrugged. “Just put our names on there.” 

Alexia sighed and turned the map over to add the name - The Potter Map - and sign it with their first names. She added their Marauder names underneath and showed it to James. “Good?” 

James frowned and moved his wand over to edit their first names. Her name was shortened to Lex and his was changed to Jamie. “There.” 

“What if other people see it and try to call you Jamie?” Alexia rolled her eyes. He just shrugged at her. 

“I’ll hex them. I hex anyone that calls me Jamie.” 

“Not me.”

“Nah. You picked it when you first got here. I didn’t really feel like I could tell you no, and you let me call you Lex, so it seemed fair.” 

Alexia nodded quietly and started waving her hand over the map again. Most of the enchantments they’d used for the Marauder’s Map weren’t necessary. They didn’t really need to put a charm on that would insult anyone that tried to use the Map, so she skipped that difficult charm. The most important thing was figuring out how to get it to record everyone in the Manor. 

“Miffy!” Alexia called. The elf popped in and she offered her a smile. “I need your help. How do you know where everyone is in the house, even guests?” 

“House book,” Miffy answered. She raised her hand until it was flat in the air and a large book appeared in the hand. “It records the Masters and Mistresses and tells us where they be.”

“It’s already like a map!” James exclaimed excitedly. Alexia waved at him to calm down.

“D’you think we could connect this map to the book? Jamie wants a Map to make sure I’m safe at balls.” 

“You not be in danger from Master Dolohov anymore,” Miffy frowned in confusion. Alexia’s eyes widened. 

“How do you know that?”

“Mistress Dorea told Miffy and Mistress Dorea’s guests to watch. Mistress Dorea not be trusting Master Dolohov.” 

“Of course,” Alexia breathed. “Why didn’t anyone stop him when he tried to dance with me?”

“Master Dolohov not be a danger to you. He only talk and dance.” 

“Lex, what’s she talking about?” James asked, frowning between the elf and his sister. “What happened at the ball? You said you didn’t see him at all.”

Alexia looked at him and back at Miffy. “I’d still like to connect the map if that’s okay with you.” When Miffy agreed, Alexia quickly cast the required spell to connect the two. She would’ve been pleased to see the map fill out with where they were if James wasn’t staring at her intently. “Thanks, Miffy.” 

Miffy closed the book and popped out, obviously sensing the conversation between the twins that was to come. Alexia didn’t blame her for leaving. She didn’t really want to be there, either.

“Lex, explain,” James ordered, touching her arm. “You lied to me?” 

“It’s… hard,” she winced. “It’s the entire reason I’m doing this stupid society shit, Prongs. Miffy is… I don’t actually know if she’s right. For now, I don’t think Dolohov is going to hurt me.” 

“ _ Why _ ? What happened at the ball?” 

“He told me that I’m in danger,” she said slowly. She was silently casting still just to focus on something other than James’s reactions. “From Voldemort.”

“The- that’s the guy you and Dad are all worried about and fighting?” James frowned at her. “Does he know you’ve been going to raids?” 

Alexia shook her head. “Voldemort doesn’t know that. He just knows that I come from a lighter family, I have friends that include Sirius, who openly defied Voldemort, but… I’m dating Lucius and I’m close to Severus and Regulus and Narcissa. He thinks I have the ability to possibly convince Lucius and Regulus to abandon him, so he… was going to kill me.” 

James paled dramatically. “ _ Kill you _ ?”

“Quiet down,” she hissed, smacking his arm. “Lucius tried to get him to change his mind and when he couldn’t… Dolohov stepped in and promised to  _ control me _ if Lucius couldn’t get me to join Voldemort. I told Dolohov I’d kill myself before joining Voldemort and he knows. He knew he couldn’t  _ control _ me.”

“Why the fuck would he-,”

“I don’t know, Jamie, but there’s more, okay?” 

“...okay.”

She dropped the map in her lap and looked at him seriously. “I ran into him in the forest and… he knows I’m adopted, Jamie. I’m not sure how, but he does. He said no one else knows.” 

James looked a little sick and she was glad he was sitting down for the simple fact that otherwise, he might’ve fallen over. “Shit, Lex, that’s not good. Does he know… anything you went through?”

“No,” she assured him. “He couldn’t.”

“And… Miffy says he’s not dangerous?” 

“I disagree,” Alexia admitted. “He openly told me at the ball that he might hurt me in the future. He’s acting weird, but I think he’d still hurt me. I just have to… I don’t know. Not fight with him. I also have to be seen with my Slytherin friends more to convince Voldemort I’m not completely aligned with our family. It’s not true, but otherwise, I’m in danger.” 

“So you’re doing this stupid society shit today,” James nodded. “That makes sense, I guess. Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Because if I’d grabbed you at the ball and said ‘hey, Dolohov doesn’t want to kill me but now I owe him and my life is essentially in his hands’ I feel like you probably would’ve freaked the fuck out, Prongs.” 

“...fair point. And you didn’t tell me after the ball because…?”

Alexia bit her lip. Truthfully, she didn’t tell him because the entire situation scared her. She couldn’t tell James that Dolohov scared her because of more than just what had happened in the past four years. She was still scared of Dolohov because she knew he hurt her in the future and that he knew who she was. Clearly, he’d never be finished hurting her. It begged the question of why he was bothering to protect her. 

“You’re scared,” James muttered. He didn’t wait for her reply and just pulled her into a hug, one which she returned easily. “So he’s helped you with Voldemort. He hasn’t done anything else. He’s still dangerous. We shouldn’t approach him any other way, right?” 

“I don’t know. In the forest, he helped me out with something I’d fucked up and told me who could help heal me. He’s just treating me oddly, Jamie. I don’t understand the situation clearly and it’s scaring me. He isn’t hurting me anymore and he isn’t acting like he wants to, but he’s made it clear that he  _ might _ and… I don’t know what to do.”

“Have you told Mum and Dad?” 

“No,” she admitted quietly, leaning away from him. “At the ball, Regulus found me after Dolohov left and we got Lucius to talk. After that, we went back to the ball and I just wanted to pretend like it hadn’t happened. We had a plan of how to handle it, so I didn’t tell anyone.” 

“Maybe you should tell them,” James suggested gently. “Or Dumbledore… definitely Dumbledore.”

“I hate him.”

“Yeah, but he’s leading the Order, and they should know that Voldemort might want to kill you,” James reasoned, frowning as he finished his sentence. “Please don’t die, Lex.”

Alexia offered him a small smile. “If I do, Regulus can bring me back. Go ask  _ him _ not to die.”

“I will.” 

* * *

Black Manor was very large and sort of resembled the type of mansions you’d see in movies. The interior was somewhat stuffy and radiated a bit of dark magic. Alexia wouldn’t have noticed it had she not spent so long carrying the locket on her neck. Unfortunately, she had, and the feeling made her vaguely uncomfortable. 

“I’m glad you agreed to do this with me,” Narcissa told her with a smile. They’d been at the party for three hours already and both had been allowed to take a break from mingling. “I had hoped Uncle Arcturus would allow Dromeda to come, but he didn’t answer the appeal.” 

Alexia sighed at the reminder of the patriarch, a man who didn’t do much to govern his family. “First, I didn’t  _ agree _ to anything. You and Lucius and Regulus bullied me into it. As for Andromeda… she’ll be a Black again one day, Cissa. I promise.”

Narcissa raised an eyebrow. “In the future, is she-,”

“Not yet,” Alexia narrowed her eyes at Sirius, who was standing across the room with James. “Sirius is bloody stubborn, you know that? He never became Lord Black despite Remus and I nagging him every day. No, when I get back.” 

“In the future, he’s an adult and you are a child and you bothered him to become Lord Black?” Narcissa wondered with a small laugh at the mental image. 

“Well, he’s impossible! Harry didn’t care about much and Molly hated him. Remus and I were the only ones that could nag him. It never went well. He threatened to take away my access to Grimmauld Place’s library if I didn’t stop, so…”

“He is impossible,” Regulus agreed, startling both girls as he came to stand behind them. His lips twitched upward, amused. “This is going well.” 

“This is miserable,” Alexia told him. “And I don’t like owing your brother favors, Regulus. He’s going to hold this over my head for so long. I don’t get why I couldn’t have you or James escort me.” 

“You cannot be related to your escort,” Regulus reminded her, rolling his eyes. “And he has to be your age.”

“Thank you for allowing me to borrow Lucius,” Narcissa spoke up. “I had no interest in asking anyone else in my year.” 

“Because they’re all shitty,” Alexia muttered. Seeing the two of them together had been a bit difficult for her, but she’d done her best to brush it off and focus on the miserable conversation she had to make with the stuffy purebloods. “I  _ know _ those are the rules, Reg, but I hate them. Sirius only agreed to do this on the condition that I help him plan  _ four pranks _ without taking credit myself.” 

“Surprisingly, I don’t find myself feeling too sympathetic.”

Alexia narrowed her eyes at her friend. “With the amount of times I’ve threatened to hex you, it’s amazing that it hasn’t happened yet. Someday.”

“Miss Potter,” a voice called smoothly. Alexia, who had her back to the man and was staring at Regulus, saw him stiffen and a mask fall over his amused grin. Confused, she turned around and felt her breath sucked out of her at the sight before her. 

Tom Riddle. 

Regulus grabbed her hand within his and tugged her a little closer to him. He didn’t greet his Dark Lord, though he did bow his head at him respectfully. Even Narcissa had her head down. Despite the goal of her attendance being to convince Voldemort that she wasn’t going to steal his followers, she refused to lower her head. 

He was, truthfully, very attractive. She knew he was about fifty already but wizarding genes helped him greatly. He looked to be around thirty at most. His hair was short and a dark brown that his eyes matched perfectly. His face was all sharp angles and cheekbones. Alexia could understand why he was so charming. If she didn’t know who she was, she’d have thought he was beautiful. She did, however, know who he was and so all she could remember was the darkness of his horcruxes and how terrible it was to have one with her for so long. She could only remember how dark he was. She remembered his resurrected self marching to meet Hogwarts’ fighters with Hagrid carrying Harry’s sort-of-maybe-dead body. She remembered the feeling of devastation when she thought they’d  _ lost _ and he would truly have control of the wizarding world. 

“-is Alexia Potter,” Narcissa was introducing her. She didn’t think she’d have noticed had Regulus not squeezed her hand hard enough to shake her from her terrified thoughts. 

“Call me Voldemort,” Tom requested, holding his hand out. Alexia forced herself to give him her free hand and suppressed her shiver when he kissed the back of it. “I admit I’ve been very curious about you, Miss Potter.” 

“I’ve heard,” she raised an eyebrow at him. Somehow, the polite way in which he was speaking with her made her  _ angry _ . In her time, he’d killed thousands in the name of power. Here, he was speaking politely with someone that he’d someday consider an enemy. “I heard you weren’t too fond of me, actually.” 

“Ah, yes,” Tom nodded thoughtfully. “Lucius did try to convince me of your… worth.” 

“Why was it, I wonder, that you didn’t listen to him?” she asked, ignoring the way Regulus squeezed her in a panic. “Because I’m dating him or because of my family?” 

“A bit of both,” he admitted. 

“Then why would you think Dolohov, who has attacked me numerous times, could control me better than my own boyfriend?” 

Tom grinned at her. “Quite forward.”

“If my life is on the line, I think it best not to waste time.” 

“I’m very aware that whatever you have with Lucius is temporary,” he explained to her. “Antonin, however, will be with you forever.” 

Alexia did her best not to let him see her shock. “Why is that?” 

“You do not know,” Tom realized with a small smirk. “Interesting.” 

“Did he do something to me?” Alexia asked, suddenly remembering something Lucius had told her and Lily about. She couldn’t help but feel a little sick at the idea. 

“Perhaps that is a conversation to have with him,” Tom suggested. “For now, I must go. I have a busy day, but I was interested in meeting you, Miss Potter.” 

Alexia was only able to nod once at him as he said his goodbyes and left. Once he was gone, Regulus dropped her hand to glare at her. 

“After everything we’ve done to handle this, you speak to him like  _ that _ ?” 

Alexia’s eyes scanned the crowd and she ignored his sharp words. She knew that all of pureblood society was at the party that day, so it took her a while to find who she was looking for. When she did, she glanced back at her friends. “Yell at me later. I have something to do.”

“Alexia-,”

“If you follow me, Regulus, I’ll fucking hex you,” she warned. “I’ve got my daggers.”

Regulus balled his hands into fists but said nothing as she sped off. Instead, he turned to complain to Narcissa. While they were muttering about how disrespectful she’d been, Alexia found her way over to the boy in question. He was standing with Avery and Yaxley near the door, talking softly. When she reached him, she grabbed his arm and began dragging him out of the room.

“It’s fine,” he told his friends when they tried to follow them. He allowed her to take him down the hall to an empty room where she released him and glared angrily. Her hair was beginning to spark and he smirked at the sight. “Do you often manhandle people, Potter?” 

“Explain,” she demanded. “Right now, Dolohov, or I swear to god I’ll fuck you up just as badly as you’ve fucked me up.” 

He raised an eyebrow at her. “You’ve picked an odd time to lose your temper.” 

“I just met fucking Voldemort,” she told him, forcing herself to take a deep breath. She was getting much too angry for safety. “And he told me the reason he listened to you instead of Lucius is that Lucius and I cannot marry but you and I will be with each other forever. Explain.” 

“Interesting,” he said, grabbing a strand of her hair. He didn’t wince when the sparks came down to meet his hand and it didn’t seem like it bothered him at all. That was odd to Alexia because she happened to know that it did hurt others when they touched it, proven years of complaints from her friends both in the past and the future. “I assumed you would stay away from me, Alexia. That was your plan, was it not?”

“Of course,” she glared at him when he tugged lightly on her hair. “But plans can be changed when a psychopathic bigot tells me that, for whatever reason, we’re going to be together forever, Dolohov. Explain it.” 

“ _ I will not _ ,” he told her, startling her into backing up from him. “ _ And if you ever grab me like that again, I will not be as kind as I have been. _ ”

When he turned around to leave the room, she raised her hand quickly and put up a complicated ward to lock the door. “ _ Lucius told me about a curse once. A despicable one that can do something terrible. He said your family knows it. _ ”

“ _ You think I have cursed you _ ,” Dolohov laughed. “ _ How disappointed you’ll be when you realize that this… this is not my doing, Alexia. You cannot blame me. _ ” He waved his wand at the wards and she tensed when they were destroyed and the door blew open. Instead of immediately leaving, he stepped closer to her and grabbed her hand. “ _ Never threaten me. If you do,  _ _ then _ _ I will curse you.” _

Alexia stayed silent in shock, mostly from the fact that just before he let go of her and walked away, she felt a small spark pass between them that she easily recognized as the same one she’d felt and given to Lily that day in the library.

The spark of a familial bond.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to paint my nails instead of sleeping for work tomorrow so here's some mort of this.


	26. Oh Glory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pollux Black! That's all.

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

_ I can only hope it’s true enough  _

_ That every little thing I do for love _

_ Redeems me from the moments I deem worthy of the worst things that I’ve done _

**August 29th, 1975**

Summer was, generally, miserable for Alexia. 

After being presented to society with Narcissa, she had multiple other events to go to. Most of them involved the same people, which meant that she was stuck with three of her Slytherins and Dolohov. After the presenting party, her family was welcome but certainly not encouraged to come. Dorea sent Alphard Black to most of them to look out for her, and she’d realized why Sirius was so fond of him. The pair had grown close as they watched the bigots together and complained together. 

With some pleading from James, she’d explained the entire Dolohov situation to her parents. They’d supported her brother’s idea to tell Dumbledore, and anytime it was brought up, she scowled until they dropped it. 

Unfortunately, her logical mind happened to agree with them. 

That was how she found herself - as a fifteen-year-old - standing in between her parents at an Order meeting. They’d discussed how to let the Order know and settled on her telling them whatever she was comfortable telling them. 

“Miss Potter is here with us today to share some information on Antonin Dolohov,” Dumbledore explained to the large group. Usually, not everyone attended the meetings. It certainly wasn’t everyone, but a great deal of the Order was there, including a pair of twins that were frowning at her in concern. 

“What happened, Pip?” Fabian asked her, his voice colored with worry. 

“He hurt you again?” Gideon asked. She shook her head quickly. 

“Professor, does the Order know anything about what he’s done so far?”

“No, not yet.” 

Alexia did her best not to narrow her eyes at him and turned back to the group of adults looking her over critically. “Dolohov holds a grudge against me for something  _ ridiculous _ . In my second year, a friend planned to dose him with Babbling Beverage in revenge for Dolohov saying shitty things about Sirius and I. I helped him adjust the potion so it was untraceable. I was given detention for laughing at Dolohov first and when I got out of that detention, he pushed me down some stairs.”

“Oh dear,” Hestia Jones shook her head. “I hope you reported him.”

Alexia once more refrained from glaring at her headmaster. “I did. Anyway, it was at my parents’ ball that he got to me again. He tortured me a little and hit me with a curse that he also put on my brother. It was later triggered and put us both through all the pain I’ve ever felt. The curse gave me some permanent mental damage.”

“He  _ tortured _ you?” McGonagall repeated in horror. “You are a child! He is a child!” 

“Raised in a dark family with dark magic,” Alexia shrugged. “For reasons I can’t explain, I’ve been through a lot so that wasn’t so much the issue as the curse.”

“We were not made aware of the torture or the curse until the curse was triggered,” Charlus explained to them. “Fabian was the one that sent us the Patronus, I believe.” 

“Yep,” Gideon nodded, winking at Alexia when she rolled her eyes at him. 

“Gideon did it,” she told her parents, earning her a pout from the brothers. 

“You never let us have any fun,” Fabian complained. 

“ _ Anyway _ ,” she said loudly. “After that, Dolohov and Jamie were playing Quidditch and Dolohov threw James off his broom with a hex. I… sort of lost it, so I then threw him off of his broom. It wasn’t my best move. He tortured me a bit in the hall while our parents were meeting with Dumbledore for that and threatened me.”

“Pip, that was before,” Gideon reminded her. “You told us about that one.” 

“Oh,” Alexia frowned and waved her hand at him. “Doesn’t matter, it happened. The last thing he did was attack me in the forest in third year. He actually tried to kill me then. Broke both my wrists and hit me with a really dark curse. It took Lucius, James, and Sirius to get it out of me. I think that’s it.” 

“He’s dangerous,” Deadalus Diggle allowed. “But this is nothing we don’t know. We’re watching the entire family. Why is this important?” 

“For one, he confirmed to me that he’s at least met with Voldemort. Voldemort confirmed it to me too, actually.”

“Excuse me?” Dorea asked her sharply, turning to look down at her. “ _ When _ did you see him?”

“Uh… at mine and Narcissa’s society thing?” Alexia blushed. “He only stopped to speak with me for a moment before he left. I’m getting to that, I promise.”

“You’d better be, young lady.”

“Er… right. So at the ball this past year, Dolohov caught me in a dance and told me that, basically, Voldemort wanted me dead.”

“Oh, my,” McGonagall gasped. Alexia was so  _ young _ and the fact that Voldemort already wanted her dead was terrifying to the woman. 

“Apparently, Lucius had begged him not to kill me,” she continued. She was grateful that Dumbledore had already told the Order that Lucius had her mark because none of them attacked her for openly admitting he was a Death Eater. “And Voldemort told me he didn’t listen to him because Lucius and I aren’t going to marry. Arguably, that would be a good reason  _ not _ to kill me, but whatever.”

“Lexi, get to the point,” Fabian suggested, tense. She hadn’t told either of them about this and she knew they were scared and probably a bit upset with her. 

“Right. Dolohov and Voldemort both told me that Dolohov convinced him not to kill me.”

“What, so he can?” Gideon asked her sharply. She shook her head very slowly. 

“I don’t think he wants to kill me anymore,” she explained. “He threatened to hurt me at the party at the beginning of summer, but he didn’t.”

“When the hell did he get to you, Alexia?” Dorea asked her, her face morphing into one of anger. “Alphard was to watch you!” 

“I sort of… got pissed at something Voldemort said and dragged Dolohov out of the room to talk,” she winced at the looks she got from the people she was close with. “He didn’t hurt me, honestly. Threatened me and told me not to drag him anywhere again, but we had a… conversation that did absolutely nothing to answer my questions. He spoke perfect Russian, though."

“The Dolohovs are Russian,” Benjy Fenwick said. “He lived there for part of his childhood.” 

“Great,” she muttered, doing her best not to add that to her running theory. She was unable to ignore the words, though, and scowled at herself. “What I’m trying to say is that I don’t know what the hell is going on or who I’m in danger from but I’m definitely in danger.”

“Explain why Voldemort even wants you,” Edgar Bones requested. “You’re a kid.” 

Alexia sighed. “I’m dating Lucius Malfoy. I’m friends with Severus Snape, Regulus Black, and Narcissa Black. I’ve also got light family and Gryffindor friends as well as being a Gryffindor myself. He’s concerned I will try to bring my friends to the light, even Lucius, who is already a Death Eater.” 

“And Black,” Moody spoke up for the first time, earning himself a glare. He knew she wasn’t fifteen simply because his magic eye saw through the layers of magic the potion added to her. “Regulus Black joined last Christmas.” 

“Right,” she muttered. “My point is, he doesn’t trust me. I’m worried he’ll go after my friends or family, too.” 

“We’ll listen around for talk about you,” Elphias Doge assured her. “You ask your friends to let you know if you’re in danger, too.”

“I don’t particularly feel like suggesting to them that I might be, but whatever.”

* * *

**September 2nd, 1975**

The first class of the day was Defense. Everyone was obviously excited to meet their new professor, mostly because Dumbledore hadn’t introduced anyone at the Welcoming Feast. Alexia was unreasonably concerned that it would be someone like Lockhart or, worse, Umbridge. 

“Stop tapping,” Sirius complained, smacking her hand to get her to stop tapping her knuckles on the desk. “It’s fine, Ash. We’ll just hex them if they’re shit.” 

“We’re not hexing teachers if we don’t need to,” she said firmly. “Have you come up with the stupid pranks yet?” 

“Yep,” he grinned. “I’ll tell you later. You’re gonna love it.” 

The door at the front of the room leading to the private office slammed open. Despite Remus’s attempt to keep her arm down, Alexia drew her wand and pointed it at the door in question. It took her only a moment to realize it was their new professor. When he came into view, he was grinning at her. 

“Good, Alexia! You would not have died. The rest of you? Bah. Dead.” 

“What?” Sirius blinked rapidly. “Grandfather Pollux?” 

“You’re a Black,” Alexia said, narrowing her eyes. She dropped her wand onto her desk. “My mother?” 

“Dorea asked me a favor,” he nodded, ignoring the rest of the class. “To look out for her children and my grandson. How could I say no?” 

Alexia turned to look at Sirius. “Is he like you or the rest of them?” 

“Me, but he’s, ah… not all together,” Sirius whispered back. “Ash!” 

Alexia raised her empty hand and put up a shield to block the curse the man - her uncle, it seemed - sent her way. “What the hell?”

“Good,” he grinned at her. “Perhaps I should’ve met my niece and nephew long ago.”

“Sir,” Severus spoke up, rolling his eyes at the man. “Perhaps we can get to class.” 

“Of course!” Pollux exclaimed. “Straight into it, then. Usually this is taught in your sixth year, but Dumbledore asked that I get to it sooner. We’re going to be going over the Unforgivables.”

“What’s to be taught about them?” James wondered. “We know what they are, we know what they do.” 

“Tell me, then, what each of them do.” 

James glanced at his sister and back at his uncle. “ _ Cruciatus _ tortures you.  _ Avada Kedavra _ kills you.  _ Imperius _ controls your mind.”

“Ah, but how do they do those things?” Pollux questioned. “How exactly does the  _ Imperius _ control you?” 

“I’m… not sure.” 

“It depends on the caster,” Alexia said when the rest of the class didn’t have an answer or offer the answer. “It also depends on the strength of one’s mind and their Occlumency shields. Someone without shields would rely on their ability to tell which thoughts belonged to them and which did not. I knew someone that only threw off the  _ Imperius _ because being calm was not, ah, his natural state. I, for instance, would be very good at throwing it off. I have good shields and I examine every thought I have until I understand it completely.” 

“Care to test that?” 

“Grandfather, you can’t,” Sirius exclaimed, grabbing Alexia’s arm. “That’s illegal! She’s a minor! Mum would kill you!” 

“We won’t  _ tell _ Mum,” Alexia rolled her eyes, ripping her arm away. “It’s fine. I’ve done it before, I can do it again.”

“Good,” Pollux grinned at her. “Ready, kid?” 

“Go ahead,” she waved him on. He leveled his wand at her and when he cast, she felt her eyes close. 

There was nothing at first. She could tell he was trying to get his hooks into her and was happy with the way her shields fended him off. Unable to simply control her mind that way, he went to suggestions. The first thing she felt was tense and uncomfortable, like sitting down was causing her some neck and back pain. From there, he shifted until she felt twitches of pain throughout her entire body that she imagined could only be cured from moving. The thought that she  _ needed _ to move passed through her mind quickly, but she was able to grab onto it. 

_ Why? _

Slowly, the uncomfortable feeling and need to move disappeared. Instead, she wanted to lean to her left. She didn’t fight that part. It felt natural - Sirius was to her left. Then, she got the urge to turn her head. That also made sense. She wanted to look at him. And then suddenly, she was moving closer and closer until she felt something touch her lips and felt a spark in her core. It was the spark in her core that allowed her to throw off Pollux’s  _ Imperius _ so quickly. 

When Alexia opened her eyes, Remus had grabbed her by the shoulders and dragged her back away from Sirius, who was staring at her with wide eyes. She turned to gaze at a smirking Pollux. “How the hell did you do that?”

“We’re family,” he shrugged. “It’s easier to mess with family’s minds. How did you get out of it?” 

Alexia’s eyes moved to Sirius. She could still feel their bond vibrating between them like it hadn’t quite come to rest yet. As much as she hated it, the feeling was  _ nice _ . “I’ve told you, I’ve thrown it off before.”

“Clearly. You know how to throw it off, but you didn’t fight moving to Sirius.”

“He’s my friend! I hug him all the time. It wasn’t ridiculous to think that I might hug him.”

“Maybe you could  _ not _ make them kiss again,” James requested, looking disgusted. “Maybe we can get back to the point.”

“Alexia, explain what you felt,” Pollux requested, leaning against the desk in front of the class. “How did you fight it?” 

“Well… first, you tested my shields,” she told him slowly. “You couldn’t get past those, so you moved onto making me uncomfortable. I felt like I had back and neck pain from sitting and I needed to move to fix it. Then, you changed it so that my entire body hurt and I had to move. When I asked myself  _ why _ I was hurting, it went away. You switched tactics after that and because Sirius and I are so close, I didn’t really question wanting to look at him or be close to him. I didn’t even realize I was, uh, kissing him.”

“She did very well,” he told the entire class. “Anyone that isn’t well versed in dark magic might not have been able to get to her again. If you can get past those first two attacks, most would not know how to continue and your mind would be fine.” 

“What if we don’t know Occlumency?” Lily wondered with a frown. “I know it can take years to learn, so how can we protect ourselves now?” 

“Well if you don’t know it, start learning,” Pollux instructed. “Too many will take advantage of your defenseless little mind. If you want to protect from the  _ Imperius _ , try buying an enchanted ring until you’ve got your Occlumency shields.” 

“I’ll find you one, Lils,” Alexia assured her quietly. “And give you my books on Occlumency.”

“Anyone that wants to test their abilities to throw of the curse can come to me,” Pollux told the class. “With written permission from your parents.” 

“Why didn’t she need it?” Dorcas wondered.

“I’m her uncle,” Pollux looked at her like it was obvious. “I’d never hurt her.” 

“You tried to hex her!” James exclaimed. 

“You’re a Black,” Marlene added lazily. “Might be related to her but you can still hurt her.” 

“That is true,” Pollux hummed. “I believe my own daughter might curse Alexia if she got the chance. The fact is, my sister asked me for a favor and that is to watch out for her children, including my grandson. Considering Dorea has never in her life asked me for anything, I have agreed. Your headmaster agreed to let me teach here because of the knowledge I have on dark magic and how to combat it.”

“Announcing to everyone that you’re here to protect them isn’t the best idea,” Mary pointed out with a frown. “I know Lexi’s good at getting in trouble-,”

“Hey!”

“-and probably needs help, but telling all of us that you’re here to help her isn’t a great idea, is it?”

“Ah, it wouldn’t be,” Pollux agreed. “If I failed to mention that Arcturus Black, the patriarch, also requested I protect Alexia.”

“He  _ what _ ?” Alexia asked, her voice much higher than usual. “That bastard can’t let Andromeda come to Narcissa’s bullshit pureblood society thing but he’ll protect  _ me _ ?”

“Shit, Lexi, shut the fuck up,” Sirius told her in a hiss, looking stressed. “If he’s doing you a favor, don’t  _ piss him off _ by saying bad shit about him.” 

“This class is a lot more fun than I expected,” Peter decided. 

“You’re much too like Dorea,” Pollux told her with a small smirk. 

“Not a bloody asshole?”

“Loud.”

Alexia narrowed her eyes at him. “Maybe you should continue the class. I know at least Severus is sick of hearing about… family matters.” 

“ _ Thank you _ ,” her friend said from the desk next to her and Sirius’s. Pollux chuckled but did as she said and crossed off  _ Imperius _ from the chalkboard. 

“Can anyone tell me what the  _ Cruciatus _ does to you?” 

Again, no one raised their hand to answer. Alexia’s lips thinned as she raised her hand. “It’s mind and body. In the body, it causes terrible pain, worse pain than you’ve ever experienced before. The mind, it… it can do two things. It either twists your mind until you’re imagining terrible but ultimately fake things that torment you…”

“Or?” Pollux pushed, watching her hesitate.

“Or it shows you the worst things you’ve ever been through,” James answered for her when she found herself unable to do so. “The really bad shit.”

“Exactly,” Pollux nodded at them. “Twenty points to Gryffindor. Tell me, the two of you, how do you fight off or heal from a  _ Cruciatus _ ?” 

“I don’t know,” James admitted. “Not really.” 

Alexia recognized the stares of her classmates and looked directly at her uncle. “To fight it off, there are only a couple of options. You can use heavy physical objects to use as a shield from the curse, just as you can with the Killing Curse.”

“You can, but they must be heavy like stone,” Pollux agreed, waving her on. She got a few looks of confusion from a few classmates.

“But you can’t do anything magical,” Howard Boot told her. “There’s no magic that can combat it.”

“No light magic,” she corrected. “There is one dark blood magic shield that I  _ believe _ can block the  _ Cruciatus _ .”

“Which one?” Pollux questioned. 

“ _ Sanguine Scutum _ ,” she answered. Sirius stiffened beside her, surprised. 

“Merlin, Potter, you practice dark magic?” Amycus Carrow asked her in shock. She glanced at the Slytherin. 

“So do you, Carrow, so don’t act all high and mighty. The reason I know this shield is because I  _ knew _ there was no light magic to fight off torture just like there’s no light magic to fight off Fiendfyre. It’s not like I’m out here learning curses and shit.”

Remus snorted beside her and Sirius rolled his eyes, but neither said anything.

“I believe you are correct,” Pollux told her. “I have not tried it myself, but in theory, that shield should protect you from everything.” 

“Everything?” Frank frowned. “You can’t protect from a Killing Curse.” 

“No light magic,” Pollux corrected. “Nothing you would’ve been taught and nothing I can teach you without getting fired and a very nastily worded letter from Augusta.” 

“Mum would be pretty mad if I tried to learn dark magic,” Frank agreed with a sigh.

“As for healing from it,” Alexia spoke up. “It varies for how long you’re under. If it’s only a few minutes, you can take a few potions for a few days and you’ll be all better.”

“And if it’s longer?” Pollux wondered. “Say… hours or days?"

Alexia took in a slow breath. “Then you will likely be diagnosed with  _ Longis Cruciatu _ . It’s a chronic condition where the after effects of the Cruciatus - shaking and pain, mostly - stay with you and can worsen without treatment. It requires physical therapy and if you don’t get that soon enough, you’re given a rare potion to take multiple times a day for years until you’re cured of the long term condition.”

“Exactly!”

“Merlin, she knows a lot about this shit,” Marlene muttered to Dorcas with a concerned frown. 

“Now, onto the Killing Curse,” Pollux said, eyeing Alexia immediately. She made a face at him. 

“Why me?” 

“No one else knows.”

“You don’t know that I know.”

“Yes, I do. Go on. Tell me what it does and how to stop it.”

“Fine,” she scowled at him. “The Killing Curse is green. It hits you and is painless. It kills you by detaching your soul and your core from your body. Without those things, you die immediately. There is nothing keeping you alive anymore. The only things that can stop it are heavy objects like stone or potentially a very dark blood shield.” 

“Wonderful,” Pollux smiled. “Another ten points to Gryffindor. Questions about any of this?” 

“Does the  _ Imperius  _ hurt your mind?” Peter questioned, glancing at Alexia nervously. 

“If the caster does not take care to keep everything intact, it can scar a mind,” Pollux confirmed. “If you are worried for your friend, I did not hurt her. Her mind remains in the same condition it was before I entered it.”

Alexia was sure that was his careful way to avoid lying and saying it was fine. 

“I think that’ll be all today. Read chapters one and two of your books and answer the questions at the end of each one. I’ll collect that on Wednesday.” 

The Marauders argued quietly at the end of the class over who would stay back, but in the end, only Sirius and Alexia did. James went along with the rest of their friends to make excuses for their absence in their next class - Potions. 

“There we are,” Pollux grinned at them when the room was empty. “That was eventful!” 

“Why didn’t you tell me you’d be here?” Sirius wondered. “When did Mum ask you to do this?” 

“At the ball,” the man answered, eyeing Alexia. “She’s updated me on the situation.” 

“Great,” Alexia muttered. “It’s fine. Nothing’s going on.”

“From what it sounds like, you irritated him.”

“ _ He _ irritated  _ me _ ,” she huffed, crossing her arms. “It’s fine, seriously - Sirius,  _ don’t _ \- I don’t need a babysitter.” 

“She has also informed me of where you come from.” 

Alexia threw her head back. “ _ We can’t just tell everyone _ !” 

“Ash, who did you irritate?”

“Voldemort,” she tried, catching his eye roll. “It’s not important. I didn’t irritate him and I’m sure he’s over it. He threatened me  _ once _ not to do something I don’t plan to do again.”

Sirius paused. “Shit, Lexi, do you mean Dolohov?” 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” 

“You two are bond mates,” Pollux grinned. Alexia’s eyes flashed and she glared at him. 

“ _ That’s _ why you made me kiss him? I can still feel the damn bond more than before.”

“It’ll happen the longer you take to get together,” Pollux agreed. “The more you kiss or touch intimately and don’t get together, the stronger you’ll feel the bond. Fully denying your feelings could get painful as well. Be careful.”

“She’s dating Malfoy and I’m not interested in her now,” Sirius lied easily. “We’re not there yet.” 

“Mm. Well, come to me if you have any issues. It’s what I’m here for.” 

Alexia nodded slowly. “And if I happen to be… working on any extra spells that you might know, would you mind helping me?”

Sirius stared at her, a little bit disgusted. “Are you actually asking my fucking family to teach you dark magic?”

“Well the last time I tried to do it myself, I burned my fucking hand and  _ Dolohov _ told me what I did wrong,” she replied with a shrug. “I figure it’s better to have someone there.” 

“ _ Dolohov _ ?” 

She waved him off. “I ran into him in the forest. It’s fine.” 

“Yes, I will help you,” Pollux assured her. “You’re right. It is dangerous to practice it alone. I can help you a couple of times a week if you’d like.” 

“Merlin, I can’t believe you,” Sirius shook his head at her. “I knew you wanted to learn, but not  _ practice _ .” 

“I take it I’ll be getting my books through Regulus now,” she said dryly. Sirius just glared at her and left the room without another word. 

“He’s got quite the temper,” Pollux shook his head. “Walburga’s temper.” 

Alexia couldn’t help but snicker at his words. “If he knew you just compared any part of him to her, I think he’d probably spontaneously combust.” 

* * *

**September 13th, 1975**

“Alex,” Severus said softly, touching her arm. They were sat together in the potions room going over the extra credit projects they’d picked up together. “I have a question.”

“Hm?” She glanced up for a moment before looking back down at the potion. It was a bright green at the moment and changed to a deep purple when she carefully stirred in the fairy’s wings. 

“Why do you remain friends with Regulus and still care for Lucius when they are Death Eaters?”

The question startled her into dropping the chopped up gillyweed into the potion early and she cursed as it began bubbling faster. She knew it was likely to blow up, so she vanished the entire thing with a wave of her hand and turned to look at her friend after taking a moment to compose herself. “They’re good people, Severus. I know why they’re there. It’s not their fault. I love them the same and I’ll love you the same when you join him, too.” 

Severus’s eyes widened slightly. “How did you-,”

“You’ve stayed quiet on the subject until now,” she shrugged. “And I heard Rookwood talking about approaching you over the summer. Those events are useful for something, I guess.” 

“I see.” 

“Did you do it?” she wondered, her eyes sliding down to his arm. He shook his head. 

“Not yet. I am to leave the castle next week and get it done.”

“Do Regulus and Lucius know?” 

Severus shook his head. “I was approached by… Dolohov, actually, over the summer. My mother agreed to it before I could say anything at all.” 

Alexia felt her hair begin to spark as her temper suddenly flared. Dolohov had told her she was in danger from Voldemort,  _ why _ she was in danger, had barely saved her life, and now he was recruiting her friends? She didn’t understand. Then again, he probably didn’t have her best interest at heart if the clear memory of him torturing her in Malfoy Manor said anything. She forced herself to take a deep breath and calm down before she spoke again. “Look, Sev, I understand. I’m doing all this pureblood bullshit to stay safe from Voldemort to begin with.” 

“Stay safe from him?” Severus frowned at her. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve only told Jamie, but… Voldemort wanted me dead. Only Dolohov could convince him not to kill me. He’s scared I’m going to… I don’t know, make all of you abandon him.”

“That makes sense,” her friend agreed. “You would be quite confusing to anyone that doesn’t know you personally.” 

Alexia thought to what he’d told her in the future - she’d stayed friends with him longer than Lily had. “Sev, you can’t tell Lily. She won’t take it well. She won’t understand. You have to keep this from her for as long as you can.” 

Severus grimaced. “It’s been hell keeping it from her so far, Alex. I don’t know if I can continue for long, especially when I’m expected to be around Dolohov and the like more often."

“I’ll help you. I’ll… try to distract her. Just don’t mention it, okay? And try to keep her away from Death Eaters you don’t trust.”

“Yeah, I will. But how will you distract her?”

Alexia winced. “I have an idea.”

* * *

**September 22nd, 1975**

Lily Evans was once more on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. The sexist captain had graduated the year before and, to everyone’s dismay, James had been made captain. His ego did  _ not _ need the badge. 

They were practicing late that afternoon when Alexia made her way down to the pitch and sat next to her boyfriend. “Spying on the enemy?”

“He is surprisingly good at being captain with such a short attention span,” Lucius answered her. “He knows I’m here. No dirty business, I assure you.”

“Mm. With my boyfriend and my brother both being captains, I think I’m tiring of Quidditch.”

“So you came down to the Quidditch pitch.”

“Severus is joining you,” she said quietly after looking around to ensure no one was near. “I need to distract Lily from him until he can recover from getting the mark. He’s there now.”

“Ah,” Lucius frowned. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer, pressing a kiss to her head. “And how do you plan to distract her?”

“Um… last year I was waiting for James in their dorm and around midnight, Sirius came up and told me he and Lily were making out. I’ve watched the Map obsessively and it seems they haven’t been alone together since, but I think stirring up some drama between them might help distract her."

“And potentially piss off your brother,” Lucius pointed out. “Are you prepared for that?”

“It’s what he gets after he told you about my bond with Sirius,” she huffed. “I doubt he’ll be angry. He’s pining after her and it’s becoming unbearable. Someone needs to give the two of them a push.”

“Ash!” Sirius called from nearby. “Go away and take your stupid boyfriend with you!”

“And that?” Lucius wondered. Alexia made a face at Sirius and only turned to Lucius when the boy flew off. 

“He’s mad at me because I asked Pollux to help me with the dark magic I’m learning. We’ve fought about it four times since our first class.”

“Pollux Black is well versed in dark magic,” Lucius nodded. “And if Arcturus wants you safe, Pollux would ensure your safety.”

“You think that’s why he agreed to help?”

“We can’t be sure. How close is he with your mother?”

“Mum doesn’t really mention her siblings but I know she’s still close with some of her family or Alphard wouldn’t have stalked me all summer.”

Lucius laughed. “You enjoyed his company.”

“Perhaps,” she shrugged. “Point is, Mum wants me safe and she expects family to keep me safe. Sirius said he’s not a blood purist but that he’s also not entirely together. I’m not sure what he means by that, truthfully. He seems fine to me.”

“Lex, you okay?” James called, flying over. “Ignore Sirius, he’s a prat.”

“If I ignore him, will you give Lily one night off for once?”

“Nope. We’re done with practice if you need to talk.”

“I need to borrow Lily,” she told him. “Send her to us when you’re done?”

James nodded and flew down to the ground, leaving them alone on the stands again. 

“I’ve missed you,” she told Lucius when he pressed a kiss to her jaw. “Stupid Voldemort monopolized your time.”

“Petty insults for a terrorist,” Lucius shook his head at her. She shrugged. 

“At some point it’s exhausting being serious all the time. So yes, he’s stupid. Now, are you going to make me fight for your attention tomorrow?”

“What’s tomorrow?”

“A date,” she explained. “In the Room. Just us. No friends.”

“I think I can agree to that,” he said, pressing his lips softly to her upper neck. 

“Ew, don’t ask for me and then do  _ that _ ,” Lily complained, screwing up her face in disgust. She was standing on the nearby steps and still wore her Quidditch gear. She’d obviously decided against showering in the locker rooms and Alexia didn’t blame her - from what she heard, the water pressure was terrible and it was always cold. 

“Yeah, sorry,” Alexia shook her head. “I need to talk to you.”

“Uh oh,” Lily frowned, sitting across from her. Her gaze fell on Lucius, who was ignoring their conversation and drawing patterns on Alexia’s bare arms. “This sounds serious.”

“Look, I’ve done my best to stay out of it,” Alexia told her. “But I can’t anymore. I love you Lily and I love him. More than that, you and James love each other.”

“Alexia-,”

“Listen. I know he was an arse, okay? But the last time he hexed Severus was a long time ago and he’s matured. So have you. I know you care and I think you owe it to each other to explore this. If you don’t, I’m going to tear my bloody hair out.”

“But we haven’t even spent time together outside of practice!”

“I see you guys interacting in class,” Alexia pointed out. “You joke around and snark at each other and you always smile at each other when you’re not looking. Just bloody do something, Lils. You’re driving me crazy.”

“You haven’t given James a talk like this, have you?” Lily accused. 

“No, of course not. He’d yell at me for trying to interfere and tell me that he doesn’t want to do anything until you’re ready. But you  _ are _ .”

“Lexi, I just-,”

“If you’re not ready then why were you making out in the common room last year?”

Lily gasped in shock. “How’d you know?”

“Sirius,” she admitted. “He woke up while it was happening and snuck upstairs and told me.”

“What if… what if he likes someone else?”

“Like  _ who _ ?”

“Like Mary! They talk sometimes and he always seems super excited.”

“Because they’re talking about Quidditch, you dunce,” Alexia rolled her eyes at her friend. “He has literally talked to Lucius about Quidditch and lights up the same way and he definitely doesn’t have a thing for him.”

“But he might not like me, Lexi.”

“I’m his  _ twin _ . I’ve known he’s liked you since the minute you two met, Lils. He’s insufferable. Every time you’re together, he gets so excited and happy.”

“What do I  _ do _ ?”

“Walk up to him and ask him out,” Alexia shrugged. “And when he says yes, you and I and the girls can spend the night finding an outfit and doing your nails and stuff.”

“Just… ask him out,” Lily scoffed. “Like it’s so easy.”

“It is,” Lucius told her with a small laugh. “I asked Alexia out and she said yes. Simple.”

“But what if she’d said no?”

“Then we would have remained friends and I would have apologized for potentially making her uncomfortable.”

“I’ve never asked anyone out myself,” Alexia admitted. “But I’d suggest you figure out what you’ll say beforehand and then ask him.”

“Right… so when?”

“Now, Lily,” Alexia laughed, getting to her feet. Despite Lily’s protests, she led her through the grounds and to Gryffindor Tower with a quick goodby to her boyfriend. When they got to the common room, Lily was shaking lightly. When they stood in front of James, she looked like she might throw up. 

“James,” Lily greeted. James glanced up at her. 

“Oh, hey, Lily. What’s up?”

Lily hesitated and looked just a little more sick. 

“Erm, are you okay? Shit, did Sirius hit you with a bludger? Not during practice, Padfoot!”

“No, no,” Lily shook her head rapidly. “I was, uh, wondering if maybe you’d liketogoonadate.”

“...huh?” James frowned, looking between the two girls. “Sorry, didn’t catch that.”

“I was… maybe this is a bad idea,” Lily frowned. Alexia nudged her side and she let out a slow breath. “James. I was wondering if you would… like to… go out on a date with me.”

James’s eyes lit up brightly and all the anxiety melted away from the redhead. “Yes! Merlin, I thought you hated me.”

“I can hardly hate you,” Lily laughed nervously. “You’re the team captain.”

“Sure, but you hated the last guy.”

“Date,” Alexia told them. “Plan your date, Lily, and get upstairs immediately.”

Lily blushed as the girl rushed off and set into doing what she’d been ordered to do. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished posting Adelaide and James' Letters so I'm just gonna... do this one.


	27. Serpent-Shaped Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Preemptively apologizing for the first scene. It makes me sad, too. Also, another Dolohov scene.

**Chapter Twenty-Seven**

_ Life in Eden changed _

_ No way to make the pain play fair _

_ It doesn’t disappear just because you say it isn’t there _

**September 23rd, 1975**

It was the first Hogsmeade weekend of the year and while most upper year students were taking full advantage of the day to go to Hogsmeade, Alexia and Lucius were not. They were, in fact, staying away from everyone else.

As promised, the pair had a date and decided on using the Room of Requirement to do so. Unfortunately, both had too much on their minds to enjoy that date. 

In Alexia’s case, she was concerned for Severus. He’d showed up in the middle of the night, according to the Map, and she knew he was still sleeping it off. Aside from her concern for her friend, however, she was also concerned about Lucius. Not just about him but about her relationship with him. While they were still close and cared a great deal about one another, they were both being swept up in the coming war and she knew that she didn’t have long. 

Apparently, she had much less time than she thought. 

“My parents demand that I marry immediately upon leaving school,” Lucius told her. They were lying together and her head was lying on his arm. He was stroking his thumb across her wrist, a wonderful and wrong sensation for the conversation he’d just begun. “And they want at least a year and a half of courting beforehand.” 

Alexia stared up at the ceiling. The fake stars above them resembled the night sky from her childhood home and she counted the stars she could see. She spotted Leo and gazed at the brightest star in the constellation. “Has the contract been drawn up yet?” 

“They met today,” he answered softly. “Our courtship is to begin soon.”

“Yeah,” Alexia said softly. “Do you… I’d rather not lose you, Lucius. Can we remain friends at least?” 

“I care far too much about you to lose you completely,” he promised her. She glanced up at him and twisted to press a gentle kiss to his lips. The feeling gave them both shivers and when she pulled away, she wiped the tears from her eyes. 

“I think it might be harder this way,” she admitted, lying back down with him. “Knowing you don’t hate me. You didn’t just fall out of love with me. It’s just how it has to be and we have to find a way to be okay with that.” 

“I discussed it with Narcissa earlier today,” he replied softly. “She understands the situation. It may take some time, we all know that.”

“I’m not ready to be with Sirius,” Alexia decided. “If I don’t have anyone to fall into, Lucius, how do I convince my heart to let you go?” 

“You find someone other than Sirius,” he suggested, hating the idea as much as she did. “If you need someone.” 

“I love you,” she whispered. “If I told my thirteen-year-old self that I’d someday fall in love with Lucius Malfoy, I think she’d have me committed.” 

“You would never fall in love with the version of me that your thirteen-year-old self knew, Alexia.”

“What if I can never stop loving you? That’ll get real fucking awkward, Lucius.” 

He let out a small laugh and shook his head. “I believe that by the end of this year, you will fall for someone else.” 

Alexia scoffed. “ _ Who _ ? Not Sirius. He’s still too much of an arse to see romantically.” 

“No,” Lucius agreed. “Not him. I see it, Alexia, even if you don’t. That’s why I’m not too worried about you.” 

“I can’t talk to anyone like you,” she tried, sighing. “You’re different.”

“That is not true. You can talk to Regulus. You just haven’t tried yet.” 

Alexia couldn’t deny that he was right. “I wish we didn’t have to obey time. I wish we could fuck it all and go elope or something. Piss everyone off.” 

Lucius let out a noise that was a bit between a laugh and choking on air. “I think it would do more than piss them off, Alexia.” 

“Ah, what do they care? We’re both purebloods!” 

“And you already have a contract,” Lucius shook his head. “It’ll be okay, Alexia. I’m still here. I just…”

“Not mine,” she muttered. “I know. I’ve known that. Befriending Narcissa made this easier, you know, but not that much. I still feel like you’re taking a piece of my heart with you.” 

“Then I’ll treasure it,” he promised her. “So long as you take care of mine.” 

Alexia laid her head back and closed her eyes. “Today is one of those days that I wish I’d never come back here.” 

* * *

“Seen Lexi?” James asked with a bright grin, entering the common room. “I need to thank her.” 

Remus glanced up hesitantly. “She’s not really in the mood to see anyone, Prongs. Might just wanna leave her be for now.” 

“Why? She should be happy! Everyone should!”

“Not everyone cares as much about your date as you do,” Peter rolled his eyes. 

“Ash does,” James said firmly. “I know it. So where is she?” 

“She’s not here,” Remus sighed. “She came back and dropped off her things and then I saw her leave the Map.”

“So she’s in the Room of Requirement,” James shrugged. “Don’t be so dramatic about it.”

“No, he means she left Hogwarts,” Peter rolled his eyes. “I saw it. She passed through the gates and her name disappeared.” 

James paused. “I don’t understand. She went to Hogsmeade?”

“Doubt it,” Remus shrugged. “She had her date with Lucius today. She was acting weird when she came by, too. She wasn’t doing good, Prongs.” 

“But if she’s not in Hogsmeade, where is she?” 

* * *

Alexia sipped her tea quietly. She was alone in the apartment and she almost preferred it that way, at least for the moment. Her mind was a mess and so was her heart. She thought belatedly about the fact that Lucius Malfoy was the first person to ever break her heart. She shook herself. That wasn’t right. Lucius wouldn’t do it on purpose. She knew he loved her. It wasn’t their choice to break up, not at all. That was worse than blaming him. Her heart was broken and so was his and it was absolutely neither of their faults. 

The door opened and Alexia sat back with her cup in her hands and watched the redheaded twins walk in, laughing about something together. Gideon was the first to see her and she saw him carefully suppress the urge to raise his wand at the sight of someone in their apartment.

“I’m sorry,” she said with a small laugh. “I know you probably didn’t give me your address so I could break in while you’re at work but I’ve had a really, really bad day and I missed you guys.” 

“Hey, it’s okay, Pip,” Gideon assured her while Fabian quickly locked the door. They made it to her at the same time and she barely had enough time to set down her cup before she was sandwiched between the brothers. “Break in anytime you want.” 

“Crying?” Fabian frowned, wiping away a stray tear with his thumb. “What’s going on?”

Alexia rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. “Lucius and I talked today. His parents set up his contract and he… has to begin courting. We broke up.” 

“Oh, Merlin,” Gideon whispered. “Shit.”

“Stay here tonight if you need,” Fabian suggested. “I’d guess you don’t want to be at Hogwarts right now.” 

“I just don’t want to deal with explaining to Jamie and Remus why I’m not… okay,” she sighed, pulling out of the hug. They sat next to each other on the coffee table in front of the couch she was sitting on and the sight was a nice one. She really did miss them. “It’s obnoxious having two people so close to me that can easily tell what I’m feeling.” 

“Stay here, then. Go back tomorrow and deal with it.” 

Alexia leaned back against the couch tiredly. “Lucius told me that he sees  _ something _ . He thinks I’m going to fall for someone else before the end of the year. Hard and fast, he told me. I just don’t see how I can do that if it hurts this much to not be with him.” 

“You don’t have to,” Fabian reminded her. “If you’re not ready for anything new, then don’t get in another relationship.”

“I’d remind you that you’re fifteen and you’re young and shouldn’t depend on a relationship, but…” Gideon laughed shortly. “Just take some time for yourself, Pip. This is an abnormal breakup. You deserve it.” 

“Yeah,” she muttered, looking between them. “Can I really stay here tonight?” 

“Course,” Fabian smiled at her. “Anytime. In fact, this gives us a chance to show you how wonderful of cooks we are!” 

Alexia let out a small laugh. “Are you sure you don’t blow up the kitchen? I never imagined you two to be cooks.”

“Watch in wonder, Pip, because we’re going to cook you an  _ incredible  _ meal.”

* * *

James stared down at the Map in frustration. He was sitting in Alexia’s seat at her usual table in the library, watching for her obsessively. So far, he’d found nothing. Her Slytherin friends weren’t with her - Lucius was on the Quidditch pitch and had been ever since James had opened the map. Narcissa was with Elora Zabini in another part of the library. Regulus was in his dorm alone, and Severus was… approaching the table. “Snape,” James said, looking up in surprise. 

“You are the wrong Potter,” Severus frowned at him. “What are you doing here? Alexia was to meet me here.” 

“I’m trying to find her,” James admitted. “She’s missing.” 

“Perhaps sitting here waiting for her is not the answer,” Severus rolled his eyes. “She’s your twin. Use your twin bond.” 

“I  _ can’t _ ,” he said, frustrated. “I’ve tried, but she’s been practicing blocking me off from her. I don’t know what she’s feeling or where she is.” 

“Your map says nothing?” Severus wondered. At the incredulous look he was given, he did his best not to roll his eyes again. “Alexia has told me of it.”

“She’s not on it,” James sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “I’ve been watching it for hours. The only reason she wouldn’t be on it is if she’s in the Room of Requirement or if she left Hogwarts grounds. Sirius came back from his date and said she wasn’t there, so…”

“Ask your uncle,” Severus suggested. “If you’re that concerned. He may know where she is.” 

James glanced up in surprise. “That’s a… good idea.”

“I do have them.” 

James said nothing more to him and shot to his feet. He used the Map to find Pollux, who was walking down a nearby hall. When he entered the hall, he shoved the Map back in his pocket and hurried over. “Pollux! Have you seen Lexi? She’s been missing for hours and Remus said she’s upset.” 

Pollux slowed down and glanced at him, considering his words. “Have you looked for her?” 

“She’s not in Hogwarts or on the grounds,” James promised. “We’ve been looking for hours.” 

“Then perhaps she’s left. Where would she go?” 

“Uh…” James blinked a few times. “I dunno. Home?” 

“Come,” Pollux waved. James followed him up to the DADA room and into his office where he threw some floo powder into the fireplace. “Potter Manor!” 

It was a moment before the fireplace lit up and they could see Charlus looking a bit confused. “Hello, Pollux. Did something happen?”

“We were hoping you knew,” Pollux told him. “It seems Alexia left Hogwarts. Is she with you?” 

“No,” Charlus’s brow furrowed. “She didn’t tell anyone where she was going?” 

“Apparently not.” 

Charlus backed out of the fire, leaving Pollux and James to wait. James was tapping his foot nervously. The fact that his father wasn’t sure where she’d gone had done nothing good for his anxiety. When Charlus entered the fire again a few minutes later, he looked much calmer but still troubled. “I sent her a Patronus and Gideon Prewett replied. It seems something happened and she needed some time away from the castle. He promised to send her back in the morning.” 

“Prewett,” Pollux repeated, surprised. “She’s close with him?”

“Both of them,” James answered him. “They taught us to prank but they got super close when Dolohov started messing with her.” 

“Thank you, Charlus,” Pollux nodded. After saying goodbyes, Pollux leaned against the wall and looked at his nephew. “When you see her tomorrow, tell her to come see me.”

“Okay,” James paused. “Is she in trouble?”

“A bit.”

“...okay.”

* * *

**September 24th, 1975**

Alexia woke up at seven the next morning feeling a little better. She’d enjoyed her time with the twins. They’d worked hard to distract her from her breakup and had updated her on their progress in both their Auror training and the Order missions they were given. By the time she’d fallen asleep, her heart had healed just a little bit. 

They fed her breakfast and then both of them Apparated her into Hogsmeade. She said goodbye reluctantly and began her walk back to the castle. 

When she reached the mostly empty Great Hall, she was surprised to find James sitting alone at the Gryffindor table. He was clearly waiting for her, so she took in a deep breath and walked over. “Jamie,” she gasped when he wrapped his arms around her tightly. “Too tight, Prongs.” 

James let go of her but grabbed her shoulders and looked her over. “What happened? Moony said you were upset and then you left and you were gone all night and you went to the Prewett’s?”

Alexia considered not telling him but immediately dismissed the thought. If Lucius was to begin courting Narcissa soon, she had to let everyone know what had happened or face the possibility of them screaming at him for cheating. “Lucius and I broke up yesterday.” 

James froze entirely. Even his concerned frown froze on his face. Alexia poked his cheek, wondering if he’d been stunned, and was happy to see him screw up his face at her. The irritation faded to worry and a little bit of anger. “Shit, Lex. How did it happen? Did he- why would-,”

“Jamie, shush,” she ordered. He did as she requested and she nodded. “We’ve known that we’d have to break up and possibly soon. He put it off for as long as he could before he did it. Yesterday, his parents met with Cygnus Black and he’s now got a contract with Narcissa - no, I’m not mad at either of them. I think it’s a good match and they’ll come to enjoy being together even if they don’t love each other. I left the castle because I needed to be with someone that wouldn’t get pissed at Lucius for what happened and could distract me.” 

“Fuck,” James whispered. To her surprise, he grabbed her in a tight hug. “I’m sorry, Lex. Are you… how are you feeling?”

“Actually… a lot better than I expected,” she admitted quietly. A large part of her was furious that, after one night, she was doing so much better. She felt like she’d accepted what had happened and while she still loved him and cared for him, she thought she could feel it shifting, morphing into something else. “I still want to be around him, just… be his friend. And I need to talk to Narcissa because I know her and I know she’s likely feeling extremely guilty about this.” 

“Speaking of talking to people,” James winced. “Pollux wants to see you.”

Alexia groaned. “Jamie, tell me you didn’t go to him.” 

“You were missing!” 

“Great. If he gives me detention, I’m going to be so fucking annoyed.” 

* * *

Alexia stepped into the classroom two hours later after she’d gotten a shower, changed her clothes, and explained to her friends why she hadn’t come back the night before. The room was filled with second years that looked a bit scared of Pollux. Alexia waved at him and once she got his attention, she walked past him and into his office. James had said he wanted to see her as soon as she got back, so she went despite interrupting his class. 

His office was rather plain but extremely organized. The first month of school wasn’t even over yet but he had stacks of essays and the such to grade. Alexia could see Peter’s recent quiz on the top of a pile close by and picked it up curiously. While reading through it, she shook her head and made a mental note to offer the boy some help. She knew he’d never ask, but he clearly needed it. 

“Interested in grading those?” Pollux asked, amused. She turned around and waved the parchment in her hand. 

“Peter needs help. He’s got less than half of this correct and I’m not even through the entire thing.” 

“I get the impression he isn’t too interested in learning defense. Perhaps more interested in the dark arts themselves.” 

Alexia shifted uncomfortably. She’d been there for five years and she’d been friends with Peter the entire time. He was quiet but funny and actually held his own individual place in their friend group. All of that had led to her attempting to ignore the fact that he would someday get her brother and sister-in-law killed by Voldemort. “James said you wanted to yell at me.”

“Mm. It is quite foolish to run away without telling anyone where you’re going, Alexia. Had I not found you so quickly, I would have assumed that Dolohov or the Dark Lord had gotten to you.” 

“My boyfriend broke up with me,” she shrugged. “I needed space.” 

“I would think that him being in the dungeons and you in Gryffindor Tower should be enough space.” 

“It’s not,” she shook her head. “I know him in the future. I knew this was coming. It’s just difficult. I needed to see Fabian and Gideon.” 

“Feeling better, then?”

“Yes, actually.” 

“Good. Detention.” 

“ _ What _ ?” 

Pollux smirked at her. “If I am meant to keep you safe, that includes punishing you for putting yourself in potential danger. As your professor, I can give you detention. Tomorrow night immediately following dinner.” 

“But I’m fine! I was never in danger, I just needed to get away!” 

“I have no issue with you leaving Hogwarts,” he assured her. “Doing so without informing anyone of where you’re going or when you’ll be back, however, is unacceptable.” 

“I didn’t want to tell my friends! I didn’t want to talk to them at all.”

“Then tell me,” he told her as if it was obvious. “You are a capable person, Alexia, and an adult. I trust your judgement, but I require you to go nowhere outside of the castle without telling me first.” 

Alexia threw her head back. “Fine. I promise.”

“Good. If you plan to skip classes today, feel free to stick around and grade some of those. Just bring them into the classroom and grade them.” 

She eyed the stacks and nodded. She didn’t feel like going to class and had nothing else to do, so she might as well. She levitated a couple of stacks out to one of the longer tables sitting in front of a wall and set them down to grade, feeling properly scolded and somewhat irritated. 

* * *

**October 14th, 1975**

Regulus was, truthfully, tired of being the Slytherin Seeker. He loved the game and he loved to play, but it was the Slytherin part that was driving him crazy. He was expected by most of his teammates - barring Lucius, who was the captain that year - to play dirty. It was a bit of an insult to all of them, in his mind. If they couldn’t win without cheating, he wasn’t sure they deserved to play. It just spoke of their talent if they had to cheat to win.

It was more than the expectation to cheat during the game, however. It was the fact that whenever there was a Slytherin and Gryffindor game approaching, both teams found themselves hexed, cursed, or dosed and therefore out of commission. Regulus himself was the target of Gryffindor’s most recent attack and had been put in the infirmary for the day.

The match was set to start at two in the afternoon. It was 2:15 when Alexia walked in with sparking hair and a bleeding arm. Instead of finding Madame Pomfrey to fix her arm, she walked straight over to his bed and sat down next to him. She didn’t even speak as she dug through her bag to find the dittany. When she finished healing herself up, she huffed and looked him over. “You don’t look as bad as I imagined.”

“That’s because you’re dramatic,” he replied, grabbing her arm to look at it. “What’d you do?” 

“Travers dosed you, Reg!”

“Yes, and?”

“So, I hexed him,” she shrugged. “And he hexed me back, and we got in a small duel. You’ll be glad to know that just as Slytherin is missing a player, so is Gryffindor.” 

Regulus winced. “James won’t be happy with you. Neither will Sirius.”

“Oh, they’re fucking pissed,” she agreed. “But at the wrong thing! James is the bloody captain and he can’t control those stupid jocks enough to keep them from hurting you. It’s not okay, Regulus.”

“You don’t need to worry about me so much,” he told her quietly. Her hair had stopped sparking and she was just frowning at him in concern. “I can handle a potion or a hex, Lexi.” 

“What about when you can’t?” she wondered, taking his hand in hers. “What about when things get worse and everyone is more cruel and one spell that someone thinks is innocent could actually kill you?” 

“You’d bring me back,” he reminded her softly. “Am I correct in assuming that this is less of an example and more of a memory?” 

Alexia looked down. “In my sixth year, Harry found Severus’s old potions book. Inside was a spell that he creates. He used it on Lucius’s son, Draco. If Severus hadn’t gotten to them in time, Draco would’ve died.”

“No one is going to hurt me like that,” he promised her. “But you’re going to get hexed by both of our brothers if you don’t stop doing shit like this, Lexi. I don’t need you to take care of me.” 

“I’m scared for you,” she admitted softly. “I’m scared for all of you, but you…”

“I’m no different than Severus or Lucius,” he disagreed. “I don’t even attend meetings, Alexia, not yet. I’m not in much danger.” 

“Then you won’t mind me spending more time with you to make sure of that fact.” 

Regulus narrowed his eyes at her slightly. “I don’t need a babysitter.” 

“Not a babysitter, stupid. I just need to put my mind at ease, okay? And we haven’t gotten much time together with me out of the castle so much.” 

“You don’t have to fight every time,” he said, letting worry color his voice. 

“I know. Honestly… things are just harder now. It was my original fifth year when things started getting really bad. It feels so similar to that, Reg. School is a lot easier with a professor that doesn’t want to torture me, but I feel just as threatened and scared for the world as I did then.” 

“Talk to me about it,” Regulus requested, watching her consider it. “I know you and Lucius are still having a hard time being together, so talk to me.”

“There’s… not much I can’t really tell you,” she said slowly, thinking it through. “Just my third year, mostly. I just don’t want to risk Voldemort getting to it through you.” 

“I pride myself on my shields, Alexia. He isn’t getting in my head. I’m more concerned about yours than mine.” 

“Hey! My shields are great.”

“But when did you start learning Occlumency?” 

“When I was sixteen,” she admitted. “I started working on it by myself when Harry was instructed to learn. Didn’t go well for him, but I handled it.” 

“How many years ago was that?”

Alexia counted in her head. “Eight?”

“So despite the strength of them, they are young,” he explained. “The younger the shields, the easier they are to wear down over time. Given ten minutes with you, the Dark Lord could destroy your shields.” 

Alexia felt panic flood her. She’d been so confident in those shields for so long and according to Regulus, they wouldn’t do much to keep her safe in the long run. “Shit, Reg. What do I do?” 

“Stay away from the Dark Lord. Stop fighting.” 

“Okay, what  _ else _ can I do?” 

Regulus’s lips thinned. “You know what you are?” 

“If you insult me, I’ll hex you. I don’t care if you’ve just been dosed.”

“You’re a little lion,” he accused. Despite the fact that it didn’t sound like an insult, it  _ felt _ like one. “You’ll get yourself killed someday, Little Lion.”

Alexia’s eyes widened. “Don’t call me that. I hate nicknames.” 

“You have a great deal of them.”

“...yeah, I know.” 

“You  _ are _ a Little Lion. It amazes me that you somehow managed to survive an entire war.” 

Alexia sat back and crossed her arms over her chest. “Next time I’m not going to hex Travers.”

“Good!  _ Stop _ putting yourself in danger!” 

Sensing that she wasn’t going to win the argument, she let out a huff and looked away but stayed seated at his bedside. She may be annoyed with him but she was still worried.

* * *

**October 31st, 1975**

Halloween was a day filled with pranks and some detentions for every Marauder except for Alexia, who had once more been threatened with various punishments if she got more detentions. She’d instead taken the Map and made her way to the potions classroom. 

She slipped the Map in her pocket and, sure that Slughorn was out of the castle, rifled around in his stores. She was missing just one ingredient in the fungiface potion she was brewing for Sirius. He’d yelled at her in the common room after the match and ever since, the two had been pranking each other with increasing severity. She wasn’t sure if either of them were still angry, but they were certainly still pranking and it was helping their scores a great deal so neither minded. 

Leaving behind one galleon and three sickles, Alexia put the thestral nail in her bag and turned to rush out of the classroom. To her dismay, Dolohov was standing in the door watching her. It took everything in her to refrain from attempting to hex or curse him. 

“ _ Stealing _ ?” he asked her. She was surprised by his Russian and took a moment to reply. 

“ _ Feel free to turn me in. I leave him money every time. _ ”

“ _ You’ve got money, Potter. What would you need to steal from Slughorn for _ ?” 

Alexia sighed and shoved her hair out of her face. “ _ Sometimes I need things quicker than I can otherwise get them. In this case, it’s thestral nails. I don’t want to bother the ones in the forest. They’re supposedly tamed, but I don’t exactly trust Hagrid to know what that means. _ ”

Dolohov looked her over curiously. It made her slightly uncomfortable, especially considering his silence. She just did not understand him. Sometimes she thought maybe he just had a dangerous temper while others she thought that in some twisted way, he actually cared about her. 

“ _ Will you ever explain _ ?” she wondered. It was an honest question - not one of frustration but pure curiosity. He tilted his head at her. 

“ _ Have you considered that you do not wish to know the truth _ ?” 

Alexia shook her head. “ _ I know some of it, Dolohov. I know what a familial bond feels like. I just… don’t understand. There are things that, for reasons I can’t and won’t tell you, don’t make sense. Why would you stop hurting me just because I’m family? I’m not even really family, am I? We’re just related by blood. So what changed? _ ”

“ _ Curiosity, _ ” he decided after a moment. “ _ Family means something, even if I wished it didn’t. _ ”

“ _ Why are you curious? I’m adopted. My parents were muggles. There was probably just a squib at some point that you purebloods threw away. _ ”

“ _ We don’t throw squibs to the muggles, _ ” he told her with what she could only describe as an evil smile. “ _ We kill them, Potter. No, you showed up on the tapestry in 1971. It took until last year for the Patriarch to find you. None of us understand you. You don’t make sense." _

“ _ I don’t imagine I would _ ,” she replied softly. She was startled by how much he was sharing. The fact that he was definitely family shook loose a memory of the DOM.

He’d grabbed her and she could smell his breath with how close he was to her. Then his lips had brushed her neck.

Suddenly, the idea that perhaps he wasn’t as evil as she’d originally thought slipped away from her. There was no way that he hadn’t known who she was. She didn’t look  _ that _ different from her younger self. He had to have recognized her. 

“ _ Care to tell me where you came from _ ?” He wondered. She glanced up at him and saw genuine curiosity. It was unsettling compared to the memory she’d just thought of. 

“ _ I don’t understand _ ,” she shook her head. “ _ I’m family, fine, but why aren’t you trying to kill me anymore? I don’t believe that you stopped just because we’re related. _ ”

Dolohov considered her. “ _ What do you know of old families? _ ”

“ _ Not much _ ,” she admitted reluctantly. “ _ My family doesn’t practice it and I haven’t gotten to any of that in the books I’m borrowing from Pollux or Grimmauld Place _ .” 

“ _ In some of the oldest families, Alexia, members are paired together. Like marriage, I suppose. It is done to ensure that, should neither of those members find a mate, the house will continue. We still practice this. It usually is unnecessary, but we are meant to grow close with our match in the event that we must marry _ .”

Alexia grabbed onto a desk, feeling sick as understanding rolled over her. “ _ I will not marry you, Dolohov. _ ”

“ _ Ah, but if it somehow gets to the point where the fate of our house relies on us, you will. Magic will give you no choice. So you see, when the Patriarch realized that the girl I’d been trying to kill was actually my only chance for a pairing, he ordered me to protect you and gain your trust. _ ”

“ _ Not going too well, then _ ,” she told him sharply, still dizzy. She trusted him when he said magic would force her for the simple fact that she’d read about multiple different spells that could do something of the sort. 

“ _ Oh? We are speaking, Alexia. You trust me a great deal more today than you did a year ago. _ ”

“ _ I’m not a Dolohov, _ ” she told him, panic rising in her chest. “ _ I’m a Potter and I already have a contract formed and an ignited soul bond. We could never marry _ .”

“ _ Soul bonds can be ignored. Contracts can be broken. _ ”

Alexia tried her best to think back to what she knew of the Dolohov family in 1998. She knew that Dolohov had been arrested sometime during the first war and escaped in January of 1996. He’d escaped capture at the DOM, but she was unsure if he had any sort of family. She hadn’t exactly been interested, not with everything going on.

“ _ Focused _ ,” he laughed at her. “ _ What could possibly be going on in that curious mind of yours _ ?”

“ _ Trying to determine my future, _ ” she admitted. “ _ You should understand that I fucking hate you, Dolohov. I hate you, I hate Voldemort, and I hate everything you do. You kill innocent people, you believe in blood purity, and you tried to fucking kill me and fucked up my mind permanently. _ ”

“ _ Someday you’ll trust me and you won’t hate me _ ,” he assured her. “ _ And if need be, we will help to continue our house because you are a Dolohov and you can’t deny that. More than that, I will figure out who you are and where you’re from. I’ll get it out of you however I have to. _ ”

“ _ Threatening me again? _ ” she raised an eyebrow at him.

“ _ Yes. _ ”

“ _ If I’m supposed to trust you, to be close with you, why would you threaten me? Isn’t that counterproductive _ ?” 

Dolohov laughed a little. “ _ I was given orders, Alexia, to ensure that someday, if necessary, we can continue our house. That includes controlling you. _ ”

Alexia’s eyes flashed angrily and she was suddenly sick of talking to him. “ _ I’m going to go. Terrible as always, Dolohov. _ ”

He smirked at her as she walked past him and out of the room. 

Unsure what else to do, Alexia opened up the map and used it to get to a somewhat hidden couch in the library. She put it away and sat down, trying to keep herself from hyperventilating in panic. 

“Alexia,” Lucius frowned at her in concern. “What happened?” 

“Dolohov,” she said in between breaths. “It’s not good. I don’t know what to do, Lucius.”

“Did he hurt you?” 

She shook her head and watched her hands shake. “I’ve known since summer, really, but I didn’t want to… I don’t know. Consider it.” 

“Take a deep breath,” he requested, his voice low and calming. “Explain.”

“We’re related, Lucius,” she told him, glancing over to see the shock settle in. “When I grabbed him at the beginning of summer, when he left, he touched my hand and I felt the familial bond. Then tonight, he caught me in the potions storeroom and we talked and he… explained it. Why he’s stopped attacking me and why he’s protecting me from Voldemort.”

“Breathe,” he reminded her gently. “It’s okay."

Alexia paused to take in a deep breath and let it out. She was beginning to feel a bit dizzy from the shallow breathing, so she focused on calming down for a minute before she continued. “He told me that I showed up on the family tree in 1971 and that it took them until last year to track me down. When the Dolohov Patriarch found out that I was the one Dolohov was trying to kill, he… ordered him to stop because I’m… I’m his only chance at a pairing.”

Lucius tensed. He knew, of course, that some families still paired their children. The most famous case of that was the Black family. He hadn’t been aware of the state of the Dolohov family aside from that Dolohov was the heir and that he was the only unmarried member of the family. 

“I don’t get it,” Alexia whispered. “You saw those memories, Lucius. If he  _ knows _ we’re related, why would he… do those things? Kiss me, my neck?” 

It took him a minute to shed the anger that filled him at the reminder. While he didn’t think he was in love with her anymore, he did love Alexia, just in a more friendly way than before. It was just as intense and protective, it had just shifted, and so the reminder of what Dolohov had - or would - do to her upset him. “It’s hard to say. I’m not sure any answer I could offer would be very comforting.” 

“He said magic would force me to marry him,” Alexia told him, her voice still a soft whisper. “That contracts can be broken and soul bonds can be ignored. If it comes to it, we… have to.” 

“We’ll figure this out,” Lucius promised her. “You will not be married to him. I will look through my library and try to find something that can overpower magic as strong as that. I suggest you tell Pollux as well and have him help.”

“You think we can do that?” she wondered. 

“I think that it is important to try.”

“Thank you, Lucius. I didn’t… I wasn’t sure who to go to.” 

“You can come to me until it is absolutely unsafe to do so,” he promised her. “I will always help you if I can.” 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've only got a couple more chapters before I have to focus on posting my other stories so I can get my Multiverse stories started and I am *not* looking forward to that. Rip me, I guess.


	28. Further Engraving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Carrow twins *really* suck, man. Rowle isn't too great, either.

**Chapter Twenty-Eight**

_ My opinion will not be lenient _

_ My opinion, it’s real convenient _

_ Our words are loud, but now I’m taking action _

**November 26th, 1975**

The Gryffindor common room was almost empty that Wednesday night. There were only two girls in there - Alexia and Lily. They’d agreed to do their homework in the common room for the simple fact that Lily was currently upset with Lucius for not managing to control Avery. Avery had hexed Gryffindor’s only second year player - a girl named Merida Fox. Merida was so sick that she’d been sent to St. Mungo’s. Lucius had benched Avery, but Lily was furious that it had happened to begin with. 

“Are you ever going to tell me?” Alexia asked after two hours of their quiet, companionable studying. 

“Uh… what? The answer?” Lily blinked, glancing over at Alexia’s parchment. “I think it’s a double swish for the hair thickening charm.” 

Alexia snorted and set her quill down. “I know. I meant you and Jamie. James dodges me every time I ask him, Lils. How did it go?” 

“Oh,” Lily blushed and looked down at her own books. “It… went really well. Sort of like our first date but even better. He apologized to me for ruining the last one and we actually… we had a really good time, Lexi.” 

Alexia grinned brightly. “You’re dating?”

“Um… I think so. Yes, I’d say we’re dating.”

“Yes!” Alexia exclaimed happily. “ _ Thank you _ . James seems to think that since Lucius and I broke up the day of your date, I don’t want to discuss it. Truthfully, I’m very excited for you both. You guys deserve something good.”

“You’re not gonna be upset if I spend more time with him?”

Alexia rolled her eyes and snorted. “If that’s even possible, Lils, no. I won’t be. I still see you plenty and I see him plenty. Plus, it’s good to have some time to myself. For a while, you two wouldn’t leave me alone.”

“Yeah,” Lily blushed a little. “Both of us using you to avoid each other probably wasn’t the best plan, huh?”

“Not at all, no.”

“But you’re not really getting time to yourself,” Lily pointed out, tilting her head curiously. Alexia blinked in confusion. 

“What do you mean? Of course I am.”

“No. Sev said you and Regulus are almost always together. I’ve noticed it, too. Being with Regulus is  _ not _ time alone.”

Alexia paused to think back to the last couple of months. To her surprise, she couldn’t remember the last day she hadn’t hung out with him. “Oh… you’re right. Huh.”

“How did you not notice?” Lily laughed, nudging her arm. “He is an entire person. You don’t notice him?”

“No, it’s not that,” Alexia sighed, shaking her head. “It’s more that… he’s a very calming presence and sometimes it just feels like I’m alone because… because there’s not much pressure to say or do anything or keep up any level of energy if that makes sense. We’re just… very good at being alone together, I suppose.” 

“Mm,” Lily nodded, giving her a knowing look. “I see.” 

“See  _ what _ ?”

“I see that you got question nine wrong,” Lily told her, pointing at her parchment. “And seven.” 

“I did not!” Alexia exclaimed, her attention quickly shifting away from Regulus and back to her homework.

* * *

**December 15th, 1975**

There was one thing that the entire school was clear about when it came to Pollux Black: he was at Hogwarts for one reason and one reason only. To protect his family, but especially Alexia. 

It had been announced in his first class, of course, but the entire school figured it out when the girl in question was attacked by Alecto Carrow.

She was walking down the hall toward the library when Alecto had hit her with what was clearly the  _ Crcuiatus _ . Alexia had not screamed but she did fall to the ground. When Alecto let up on the curse five minutes later, Alexia expected it to come again. 

It was only when a snake made of pure and familiar magic slithered over to her and made its way up her leg that she realized something was wrong. She lifted her head and pushed herself into a sitting position and caught sight of Alecto lying on the ground with a little bit of blood coming from her arm. 

Pollux was standing down the other side of the hall, the one Alexia had been about to turn into. He didn’t have his wand out or his hands up, but she was certain the snake that sat on her lap came from him. The longer the snake sat there, the better she felt. 

“ _ Shit _ ,” Severus cursed when he turned the corner and caught sight of the situation before him. “Alex, is that family magic?” 

“It is,” Pollux answered, gathering their attention. “As I cannot attack a student, I left it up to our family magic to protect her.”

“She’s… bleeding,” Alexia said, looking at Alecto. “What did it do?” 

“Bit her. She will be fine if she is taken to the infirmary soon.” 

“Dumbledore will fire you for this,” Alexia said in alarm as Severus made his way over to help her up. She let him wrap an arm around her to keep her up and managed to lean against him. “He won’t care if it’s family magic.” 

“I did nothing,” Pollux explained, shaking his head. “The Patriarch tasked me with protecting someone in our House and so the family magic appeared to help me do so. It would do so again if I saw you being hurt. I have no control over it.” 

Alexia was right, however. Dumbledore tried to punish him for Alecto being hurt. It had taken interference from Dorea and, in the end, a very irritated Arcturus to get Dumbledore to back down. Since Pollux hadn’t actually lifted a finger or cast a single spell, he was given a bit of a scolding and sent away to do his lesson plans. 

The events had gotten out to the school, though. Most people steered clear from Alexia, James, and Sirius out of fear of the Black family. 

Most people. 

It was three days after Alecto’s attack on Alexia that it happened. She was sitting on the astronomy tower in the evening. She didn’t usually go up there. It didn’t bother her as much that Dumbledore had died up there but more that she’d talked to Remus up there later that night. He’d been injured and she’d done her best to heal him. It had been so quiet and dark and she could feel the dark magic in the air. She thought that if she paid attention right in that moment, despite being twenty years before Dumbledore would die, she might be able to feel it still. 

She’d gone up there to get some peace and quiet. With everyone studying for their O.W.L.s, there was a lot of stress and therefore, short tempers. She’d gotten into it with Peter at dinner and they’d ended up literally screaming at each other during the meal. Lily had ended the fight abruptly by giving them both detentions and escorting Alexia out while Remus took Peter back to Gryffindor tower. Alexia had requested she be left alone and, after taking the Map to ensure no one could follow her, she’d gone up to stare at the stars. 

From the schedule on the door to the tower, she knew there were no classes scheduled that evening. Classes were out anyway, and they’d be leaving for Christmas break the next day, the 19th. It was the fact that no one was supposed to be up there that night that startled Alexia when she heard the door creak open. She stayed still where she was lying on a blanket and reached down for a dagger. 

There were steps approaching her and she tensed, preparing to attack. When she saw Rowle with the light of the torch nearby, she tensed. “Occupied, Rowle. Get out of here.” 

“And miss the clear sky?” he raised an eyebrow at her, smirking. “I don’t think so, Potter.” 

Alexia got to her feet carefully, keeping an eye on him. “Then I’m going to go. I don’t feel like sharing with you.” 

When she went to walk past him, he grabbed her by the waist and tugged her against him. She resisted the urge to immediately stab him. “You should share  _ you _ .” 

“Let go of me,” she growled, her voice low and dark. She was gripping her dagger so tightly that it hurt. “Let me go right now or you’ll fucking regret it.”

“I doubt I’ll regret this.” 

The second he moved again, she sank her dagger into him. Unfortunately, he had already hit her with a spell and she found herself being tossed away from him and into the stone wall. Her head collided with the wall and she groaned in pain, silently scolding herself for getting into that sort of situation again. 

She wasn’t sure when he’d removed the dagger from his side, and she wasn’t sure when he’d stopped to quickly heal it, but much too quickly, he was standing above her, glaring down. “You shouldn’t have done that, you fucking bitch.” 

“Shouldn’t have… touched me,” she managed, though it took her a great deal of effort to get the words out. Her head was spinning and it was extremely hard to focus on him or what she thought she should be doing - protecting herself. 

Rowle got down to his knees and pressed a hand to her chest. With how dizzy she was, she slid to the side until she was lying on the ground. Despite her weak kicking, he was able to shift her until she was lying next to the wall and not against it. She blinked a few times and, to her horror, when she opened her eyes again, she was shirtless. 

“Don’t,” she muttered, swatting at his hand when he touched her stomach. “Don’t.”

“There’s no one to protect you here,” he taunted her, sliding his finger from the bottom of her stomach to the top of her chest. “What are you gonna do about it, Potter? Your uncle isn’t here.” 

The effort it took to raise her arm was deeply alarming, but she managed to do it and point it at him. “Get away from me.”

“Wandless magic?” he scoffed. “I’d love to see you try.” 

Alexia hesitated. She wasn’t sure she could hit him with anything that would do much more than just piss him off. She definitely had a bad concussion already, and she didn’t want to make anything worse by draining herself. 

Her hesitation cost her. In a familiar move, he grabbed her by her wrists and pressed them against the hard, cold stone above her head. He leaned down to whisper in her ear and she bit her lip to keep from making noise. “Do you know what I’m going to do to you, Potter?”

Despite the throbbing pain in her head, she gathered some energy and lifted her head up to slam it into his. The string of curse words he let out were satisfying, but he hadn’t let go and she only felt sicker. His wand pointed down and she wasn’t entirely sure what he’d done, but the blue flash of light said that he’d done something. 

“Rowle,” a voice growled. The fifth year Slytherin sitting on her spun his head around, leaning back until she could spot who had spoken.

She wasn’t sure if she wanted to laugh or cry. It didn’t matter, she supposed, because she was unable to do either. 

“I’m busy,” Rowle replied. 

“I see that,” Dolohov glared. “Get the fuck off of her.” 

“You can have her when I’m done.” 

Dolohov met her eyes. “ _ Has he hurt you _ ?”

Alexia took a moment to answer. “ _ No… I don’t know. A bit _ .” 

Taking in a slow breath that was clearly meant to calm his temper, Dolohov strode over to them. He kneeled down to look at Rowle. “If you do not get off of her, Thorfinn, I will report you to the Dark Lord and you will be severely punished. Understand?”

Rowle, clearly unwilling to call his bluff, cursed loudly and got to his feet. “She threw a knife at me, you know.” 

“Because she clearly understood that you are a threat,” Dolohov raised an eyebrow. “Go. Don’t touch her again.” 

“She’s a Gryffindor! A Potter! What the fuck do you care?” 

“My intentions are none of your business, Thorfinn. Go or I will be speaking with the Dark Lord about your inability to follow orders.” 

Paling, Rowle hurried across the room and down the stairs, leaving them alone. 

Alexia was aware of the wand waving above her but wasn’t sure what was happening. Dolohov was silent for a long time until his hand fell on her arm and she jumped, scooting away from him. 

“ _ Potions _ ,” he told her stiffly. “ _ You need potions _ .”

Alexia looked at his eyes, confused. “ _ W-why _ ?” 

“ _ You have a very bad concussion _ ,” he told her calmly. “ _ It is dangerous. I need to take you to Madame Pomfrey _ .” 

“ _ No _ ,” she managed before he could grab her. “ _ No, my- my bag. In my bag _ .” 

Dolohov looked at her suspiciously but grabbed her bag, which was a few feet away with her blanket. When he opened it, he was forced to summon it. It took him a minute to give it to her, as well as a pain potion, but when he was done, she was much clearer but just as quiet. 

Alexia had managed to pull herself into a sitting position to drink the potions and was leaning against the nearby wall, her eyes on her bare legs. Apparently, the blue light had been Rowle vanishing her skirt and tights, too. Her fingers brushed over a scar she remembered getting while leaving the ministry after they got the locket. 

“ _ You have a great deal of scars _ ,” Dolohov said. “ _ What is that from _ ?”

Alexia glanced at him and back down at the scar in question. It looked a bit like either a star or a spider. It was also somewhat raised, and very sensitive. “ _ A long time ago. I don’t remember who it was. There were… so many of them. _ ”

“ _ You’re fifteen, Alexia. _ ”

Still confused from the concussion and feeling reckless and manic, Alexia let out a small laugh. “ _ No, I’m not. _ ”

“ _ Tell me. _ ”

Ignoring his demand, Alexia moved her gaze to her left thigh, spotting a scar she remembered fondly and sadly. She didn’t spend much time looking at her body without clothes, so it was hard for her to stare at herself. “ _ What are you doing? Why did you stop him? _ ”

Dolohov’s lips thinned as he watched her consider her scars. “ _ He should not have touched you. _ ”

“ _ Sure _ ,” she agreed quietly, closing her eyes. She hated that she was so vulnerable in front of Dolohov and that he’d helped her escape such a terrible moment. “ _ But two years ago, Dolohov, I thought you were going to do the same thing to me… would you have? If I hadn’t gotten you off of me and Lucius hadn’t gotten there, would you have? _ ”

“ _ You think I am capable of doing such a thing to a woman? _ ”

Alexia’s eyes opened and she met his. She thought back to Malfoy Manor when he’d kissed her and the DOM when he’d licked her neck and held her so tight. “ _ Yes _ .”

“ _ I wanted to hurt you, _ ” he told her evenly. “ _ And from the barest glimpses I had caught of your mind, I knew how to hurt you. You have been through this before, Alexia. The only difference is that no one was there to help you then _ .”

Alexia felt sick suddenly. She couldn’t help the way her breathing quickened or how her hands balled into fists with her nails digging into her palms. “ _ You would have _ .” 

“ _ No. I would have scared you and left. I do have limits, Alexia. _ ”

“ _ And you helped me now because… what? Now you know we’re related? So it’s different?  _ Now _ you think it’s wrong to do such a thing? _ ”

“ _ I have always thought it was wrong _ ,” he said sharply, taking a moment to calm his explosive temper. “ _ I approached the line. I never crossed it. Rowle did. _ ”

Alexia quieted, wishing she’d remembered to stock up on calming draught again. She could feel herself beginning to shake and wasn’t sure what it was from until the pain also began. She cast a  _ Tempus _ and cursed softly. “ _ My bag." _

Curious, he handed it over and watched her dig through it. When her arm finally came out of the bag, it was holding a potion that he’d only seen once when visiting a cousin in St. Mungo’s Spell Damage. “ _ Longis Cruciatu _ ."

Alexia ignored him and drank down the potion, breathing out in relief when the pain immediately dissipated. The shaking slowly began to follow, and she dropped the bottle down next to her. “ _ You fucked me up, Dolohov. Did you think that your torture was all I’ve ever experienced _ ?”

“ _ You were  _ _ twelve _ _. Of course, I did. _ ”

“ _ There’s a lot about me you don’t know, _ ” she shrugged. 

“ _ Tell me _ .”

She snorted. “ _ Promise you’ll never hurt me again _ .”

Dolohov met her gaze and, to her surprise, nodded. “ _ If I can prevent it, I will not hurt you. _ ”

Shocked, Alexia blinked. She had been certain he wouldn’t. “ _ Shit _ .”

“ _ What could you possibly need to keep a secret _ ?”

Alexia considered the question. “ _ You might’ve convinced Voldemort not to kill me now, but if he knew how much I know… he’d kill me himself immediately. _ ”

“ _ Foolish of you to tell me so, _ ” he reminded her. “ _ I could simply take you to him. _ ” At the immediate panic in her eyes, he chuckled. “ _ I gave you my word. I will not hurt you or put you in danger if I can help it. You did not answer my question, however. Tell me. _ ”

_ “Swear an oath not to tell anyone else. _ ”

He raised his wand. “ _ I swear to Merlin, Morgana, Circe, and Magic herself that I will not divulge the secrets shared with me tonight _ .”

Nervous but satisfied, Alexia nodded quietly. “ _ In 1971, I showed up at Hogwarts injured and in need of help. I cannot tell you where I came from, but I was not eleven. I was nineteen. Dumbledore thought that it would be best to de-age me and send me to live with the Potters as James’ twin sister. _ ”

“ _ That would explain how you are so… damaged. _ ”

Alexia’s eyes flashed angrily but she couldn’t deny it. “ _ I’ve been through a lot even before you. Hours of torture, cursed blades, being hunted by a madman… were you not curious how I handled that torture so well _ ?”

“ _ You were silenced _ .” 

Alexia’s gut churned at the reminder. She stared at him, completely unsure of what to make of him. “ _ I don’t understand you. I don’t know where we stand. _ ”

“ _ Close _ ,” he answered. “ _ Because if Rowle gets the chance, he will attack you again. I was told to protect you, Alexia. Allow me to do that. _ ”

“ _ I have plenty of people protecting me, thanks _ .”

“ _ Clearly not enough or you wouldn’t be naked and traumatized right now _ .”

Alexia looked back down at herself and the scars littering her body. “ _ Everyone will lose their minds if I’m near you. They don’t trust you _ .”

“ _ And you do _ ?”

“ _ I… don’t know what to think _ .”

“ _ When they are not around, find me. Use that map of yours _ .”

Alexia’s eyes shot to his. “ _ What? _ ”

“ _ You’re right not to trust Pettigrew _ .”

Alexia had to grab onto the wall. She’d known he was being an arse, but… “ _ It’s starting? He’s… he joined? _ ”

Dolohov narrowed his eyes at her. “ _ You don’t seem surprised, Potter _ .”

Suddenly, she remembered who she was with and that he didn’t and shouldn’t know she was from the future. “ _ Pete’s always been… Pollux told me he seems pretty invested in practicing the dark arts and not defending against them. _ ”

“ _ And you are both. _ ”

“ _ Dark magic is useful _ ,” she admitted. “ _ I don’t have access to anyone that can help me safely practice very often, but it is helpful. Just because it’s dark magic or blood magic doesn’t mean that a shield can’t still protect me and a curse can’t save me. _ ”

“ _ I will help you _ ,” he decided. When she went to immediately refuse, he put his hand up. “ _ If we are to be together more often, we will do something productive. I refuse to sit in the library more than absolutely necessary _ .”

Alexia rolled her eyes, reminded of Harry and Ron. Her amusement was quickly replaced with horror. 

She’d just compared  _ Dolohov _ to her best friends. 

“ _ Fine. _ ”

Dolohov looked over her slowly. “ _ You need clothes _ .”

Biting her lip, Alexia reached into her bag and rifled through it. She winced when the shirt she pulled out was soaked in blood. “ _ Damn it _ ,” she cursed softly, tossing the shirt aside to continue searching. By the time she found a shirt and pants of hers, she’d tossed aside four different shirts and two pairs of pants. The clothes belonged mostly to Harry and Ron, though she found herself staring at the pink hoodie she’d been wearing under her jacket when they’d been captured. Ignoring Dolohov, she picked up the hoodie gently, her fingers ghosting over the tear in the sleeve. 

“ _ Potter _ .”

Alexia jumped a little, looking from the hoodie to Dolohov. She blinked away the image of his older self torturing her and frowned. “ _ What _ ?” 

“ _ You stare at that like it will attack you _ .”

Alexia glanced back at the hoodie in question. Silently and wandlessly, she levitated it in the air between them and set it on fire, pleased to see she’d startled him slightly. The intense fire she’d hit the hoodie with had it burned to ashes in under a minute, so when it was done, she dressed quickly. By the time she finished, they were both standing and he was simply staring at her. “ _ I… suppose I should thank you _ .” 

“ _ Let me know when you can escape your friends and I will help you. _ ”

Alexia hummed quietly. “ _ I’m not sure I like the idea of owing you anything more than I already do. _ ”

“ _ Think of it as an investment in our possible future together _ .”

She tensed. “ _ I think I’ll be going, then. _ ”

“ _ I do not suggest you walk back alone _ .”

As much as she wanted to deny it, she thought he might be right. The question was, who wouldn’t freak out if they saw them together? 

“ _ Expecto Patronum _ !” she said, casting the spell wandlessly and surprising Dolohov. “To Regulus. Please come to the Astronomy Tower… Dolohov is here with me but I’m fine. I just need you to take me back to Gryffindor.”

When the otter swam off, Dolohov smirked. “ _ If you wanted to get him here quickly, telling him I am here was a good plan _ .”

Alexia winced. “ _ You might be right. _ ”

There was a brief moment of silence before he spoke again. “ _ I wanted to kill you two years ago and here I am waiting with you to keep you safe. _ ”

“ _ You know, I am capable of keeping myself safe _ .”

“ _ Proven so clearly by tonight’s events _ .”

Alexia glared at him. “ _ Stop it. I made a mistake. I won’t do so again. _ ”

“ _ Mm. You should hope not. A challenge was created in Slytherin when your uncle used family magic to protect you from Carrow. You should expect more attacks. _ ”

“ _ Challenge _ ?” Alexia asked nervously. “ _ I really hope you’re not being serious. _ ”

“ _ I am. How do you think I found you? Mulciber let it slip what Thorfinn had planned. _ ”

“ _ Oh _ ,” she frowned at him. “ _ Tell me honestly, Dolohov. Are you a threat to me? Do I need to be worried? _ ”

Dolohov tilted his head at the question. “ _ Not now. If that changes… you will know. _ ”

Aware that it was the best she’d get, Alexia nodded. It was moments later when the door slammed open and she was forced to put up a shield in front of Dolohov to keep Regulus from hexing him. “Reg, no!” 

“Come here,” he requested, though it sounded a bit more like an order. Still holding the shield, she did as he said and slipped her free hand into his. “What the hell happened?” 

“ _ I’ll be leaving. Good luck _ .”

“ _ No! What the hell do I tell him _ ?” she said, strengthening her shield in hopes it would be harder to walk through. He just looked at her in amusement. 

“ _ Perhaps the truth _ ,” he raised an eyebrow at their clasped hands. “ _ I really don’t care, Potter _ .”

Alexia felt her eye twitch and dropped the shield to let him leave. Once he was gone, Regulus backed up and grabbed her shoulders. 

“Tell me.” 

She looked into his eyes with a frown. “He really didn’t hurt me, Reg.” 

“So where did these come from?” he asked, lifting her clearly bruised wrists up to show her. She felt sick at the sight and paled. 

“I didn’t realize… I didn’t notice those.” 

“Tell me the truth.”

“I swear, Regulus, he didn’t hurt me,” she promised, hesitating. “He actually… saved me. Um... shit.” 

Regulus paused to frown at her. “You don’t have to tell me. I believe you.” 

“Dolohov thinks he and others are going to attack me,” she shook her head. “It was Rowle. He tried to… he just tried to hurt me very badly. Apparently, Dolohov heard about it from Mulciber and came to find me.” 

“Others?” Regulus frowned. “Was that Russian?” 

Alexia blinked a few times. The past few times she’d spoken to Dolohov, it had always been in Russian, so she’d almost forgotten that she’d been speaking it at all. “Oh, um, yeah. As for the others… I don’t know. He just told me that since Pollux used family magic to protect me from Carrow, some people want to see who can… hurt me without being… interrupted? Caught? I don’t know. You’d have to ask Dolohov.”

Regulus looked her over slowly. “And you’re sure you’re okay to go back to Gryffindor? Do you need to see Madame Pomfrey?”

“I just had a concussion,” she shook her head. “I took a potion for it. I’ll be okay.”

“Let’s go then,” Regulus sighed. He still held her hand tightly within his and she didn’t mind. It was comforting after being forced to trust Dolohov. She knew she trusted Regulus - she trusted him completely. 

* * *

**December 19th, 1975**

The train ride to King’s Cross was particularly long that year for Alexia for the simple fact that Regulus was sticking to her. That wasn’t a problem on its own - the problem came in the form of her suspicious friends. 

“It’s just  _ weird _ ,” Sirius huffed, looking at the two of them. “You’re being weird.”

Regulus raised an eyebrow at her. He had very clearly disapproved of her plan to keep everyone in the dark on what happened. She hadn’t been able to bring herself to explain  _ how _ Rowle had attacked her, so they’d gotten into a small disagreement on the matter. 

“ _ You’re _ being weird, Pads,” Alexia shot back. “What’s your problem today? Regulus is less insufferable than you’ve been lately.”

“Hey!” 

“Merlin, Lex, relax,” James shook his head. “Still tense from last night?” 

Alexia nodded a little. After Regulus had taken her to Gryffindor tower, she’d made her way up to the boys’ dorm where she’d been grabbed into a tight hug by James. Apparently, he’d known she was scared and had been just about to tell Remus and Sirius when she’d relaxed. It did them both a great deal of good to be close that night even if she refused to tell him what had happened.

“I’m fucking stressed,” she admitted. “I think I’m gonna go find Cissa.” 

Regulus moved to get up with her and she put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. “Lexi-,”

“It’s okay,” she said firmly. The two shared a long look before he sat back, his lips thinning in disapproval. Grateful not to have a guard, Alexia slipped out of the compartment and began walking slowly down the train. Truthfully, she didn’t even plan to go see anyone. She just needed a moment to be alone. 

Her interactions with Dolohov since the ball the last year were overwhelming. She felt as if she had no choice but to trust him at the moment, but her memories of the future showed to her exactly why she shouldn’t do that. Whatever happened in the past, she knew he’d still hurt her in the future. Clearly, he wasn’t truly trustworthy. 

And yet… he’d saved her. She knew he’d likely only done it because he’d been ordered to help her, but he’d still done it. He’d done it and he’d known how important it was to her, how traumatic the situation had been. He knew because he’d tried to use it against her before. So when she thought of it that way, there was no way he could be a good person.

Right?

She was still wondering exactly how closely they were related. It bothered her greatly that she wouldn’t be able to look it up until she got back to 1998. She had so many questions about everything going on that she found herself thinking about the situation a great deal more than she wanted to or was willing to admit. 

“ _ Wandering alone, Potter _ ?”

Alexia cursed softly to herself and brushed aside the idea that her thoughts had somehow summoned him. “ _ Not anymore, apparently. Would it do any good to tell you to go away _ ?”

“ _ Mm, no, I don’t think so. _ ”

She turned to look at him and caught him looking her over carefully. “ _ Do you need something? I’m not in a very patient mood right now. _ ”

“ _ I will be at the ball, _ ” he told her in a tone that suggested they were making polite conversation. She supposed that they might be. “ _ Will you run away again if I dance with you _ ?”

Alexia rolled her eyes and snorted. “ _ If you can get to me, I will dance with you. Just be aware that James will know if you’re near me. _ ”

“ _ Your twin bond _ .”

“ _ No, actually. A Map to track everyone in Potter Manor. He’s concerned you’ll take me to my room again and torture me. _ ”

“ _ Your room _ ,” he smirked lightly. “ _ That was your room _ ?”

“ _ Yes. My point is, Dolohov, that if you can get to me without Jamie stopping you, we can dance. _ ”

“ _ I’ll take that challenge. _ ”

“ _ Good luck with that. Can I go now? _ ”

He waved her on and she shook her head as she made her way down the train again. It wasn’t long until she found Narcissa, Lucius, and to Alexia’s surprise, Marlene. 

“Marls?” Alexia blinked. “What’re you doing here?” 

“ _ Trying _ to convince your ex to take me off the bench for the match following break,” she sighed. “Help.”

Alexia looked at Lucius in confusion. “Why’d you bench her? I could list multiple others that should be instead.”

“She hexed Sirius,” Lucius sighed. “She got three detentions for it, Alexia. I can’t help her.” 

“Marlene!” Alexia threw her head back tiredly. “ _ Why _ ?”

“He was being an arse!” Marlene huffed. “It wasn’t about Quidditch, Malfoy.”

“What was it?” Lucius asked, clearly tired of the conversation. 

“Personal.” 

“How?” Alexia frowned. “What did he do?” 

Marlene looked between her and the Slytherins and deflated. “I asked him out again last month, this time on a real date. He got super fucking weird about it and said no, and was acting… I dunno. Disgusted. Like I was good enough for sex but not a date.”

“Ah, shit, Marls,” Alexia shook her head tiredly. “That’s not it. He’s just being weird about something we’ve already talked about.”

“Perhaps you should speak with him,” Lucius suggested quietly. Alexia shook her head at him immediately, but he put his hand up. “For Marlene.” 

Alexia glanced between him and her friend and swore her eye twitched. “Sirius isn’t my responsibility.” 

“He may assume things are different now.”

She was surprised that she hadn’t considered that. Sirius had said to Pollux that they weren’t ready for one another yet and it was certainly true for her, but for him? Maybe he was. She rolled her head back and let out an annoyed groan. “I’ll figure it out, Marls. Try asking him out again after break.”

“Is there something going on between you two?” Marlene frowned in confusion. “You’ve never seemed too interested in him.”

“I’m not, not really,” she sighed. “But there have been… miscommunications. He  _ might _ have a thing for me. I don’t really know. I’ll keep you updated, okay?”

“Gotcha,” Marlene sighed. “At least he’s not being an asshole.”

“Debatable.”

“So can I play?”

Lucius laughed a little. “No. Two games as I said. If you are careful next year and your seventh year, you will still be on track to play professionally.” 

Marlene groaned and walked out with her arms crossed, clearly unhappy. 

“What is going on with you and Sirius?” Narcissa asked Alexia. “More than you said, obviously.”

Alexia shrugged. “I’ll tell you, but you can’t say anything to anyone. Lucius, James, Remus, Emmaline, and Lily know.”

“I will keep it to myself.” 

“In second year, Sirius and I were dared to kiss and it ignited a soul bond,” she admitted. “Orion drew up a contract with my parents. I’ve told Sirius I’m not interested yet, even as recently as September of this year. I just… think it’s possible he’s a bit ahead of me.” 

“Which is why he acted weird with Marlene,” Narcissa nodded with a sigh. “You are okay with your friends dating him?”

Alexia shrugged glancing at Lucius. “This whole situation is weirder than Marlene having sex with Sirius in my opinion.”

“We haven’t discussed it,” her friend said quietly. Alexia glanced between them. 

“Clearly I knew you’d end up together. I knew your son. He’s a prat.”

“Alexia,” Lucius shook his head at her. She rolled her eyes at him. 

“Honestly, I feel… a tiny bit guilty for dating him when I knew you would marry him.” 

“Without you, I doubt my parents would have suggested the match,” Narcissa reminded her. “We were never close enough to his family to gain access.” 

“I guess that’s true,” Alexia sighed. “If you’re wondering, I don’t think I’m in love with him anymore. I do love him, but in the same way I love you.” 

“I would understand if you did.” 

“I might be too bloody distracted to be in love with anyone,” she sighed. “Have you heard about this challenge to see who can hurt me without interruption?”

“ _ What _ ?”

Alexia sat back and began explaining everything that had happened the night before. She added the fact that she was related to Dolohov for Narcissa, who hadn’t known about it yet. “And now it’s just… weird. I’m not afraid of him anymore.”

“And Rowle?” Lucius asked, tense. She hadn’t described the nature of the attack, but he seemed to have guessed by the way she had looked away and avoided going into detail. 

“Dolohov threatened him,” she shrugged lightly. “He said he’d tell Voldemort that Rowle couldn’t follow orders, so Rowle left. He also told him to never touch me again, but he told me he doubted he’d listen.” 

“You trust him,” Lucius accused. Alexia frowned at him. 

“I don’t know. I don’t think he’s going to hurt me again yet, but I also remember what he did in the future. I’m just confused.” 

“You have to be careful, Alexia,” Narcissa warned. “He is a Slytherin. You shouldn’t trust him.” 

“I know,” she answered quietly. “I know he is.”

* * *

**December 31st, 1975**

The night of the ball brought one great relief for Alexia - Fabian and Gideon Prewett. 

They were shown to her room while she was putting on her jewelry. The ball started ten minutes earlier, but she was in no rush to get down there. She’d gotten dressed already, and her pale silver floor length gown was, thankfully, charmed to keep her cool through the night. 

“How’re you doing, Pip?” Gideon asked, helping her to put her necklace on. When he was finished, she leaned forward to drop her head against his chest, prompting him to chuckle and wrap an arm around her. “That good, huh?”

“I’m exhausted this year,” she admitted. “Everyone wants to fucking attack me. Can’t I have a year of peace?” 

“Next year,” Fabian winked at her. She rolled her eyes at him.

“Do you plan to tell me what’s going on next year?”

“Nope. You just gotta wait, Pip.”

With a dramatic sigh, she pulled out of the one arm hug she was in and looked between them. “Wanna escort me to the ball?”

The twins grinned together. “We’d love to.”

* * *

James, Sirius, and Peter stood together against a wall and watched the crowd. The ballroom was even fuller than the year before and it had been magically expanded for the night by the elves. 

“I’d say you won’t succeed in hiding, but I think you just might,” Alexia grinned, joining them. “There’s way too many people here to notice all of us.”

“Well  _ both _ of you can’t be here,” Sirius complained. “Mum’s bound to notice.”

“My turn,” Alexia decided. “Go dance with Lily, Jamie. Last I saw, she was stuck talking to one of Dad’s coworkers. Go save her.” 

James let out a dramatic sigh. “The duties of a boyfriend are never finished.”

Once he’d left, Alexia leaned against the wall between Sirius and Peter. “Have either of you heard from Remus? I was worried when he left after Christmas.”

“No,” Sirius frowned. 

“Didn’t he say he just left to be safe?” Peter wondered. “The moon was yesterday, after all.”

“I mean  _ sure _ , but he only transforms on the full moon. That’s like twelve hours of one day of the month, so he didn’t need to leave so early.”

“Shit,” Sirius cursed under his breath. Before either of his friends could stop him, he ran into the crowd. Alexia watched after him and realized that he’d saved her from an interaction with Bellatrix.

“Pete?” Alexia said, turning to look at him. He smiled at her and hummed, and she stepped closer to whisper to him. “I know what you’re doing, Pete. I know what meetings you’re going to. I won’t say anything to the guys, but if you hurt any of us, I will fucking end you.”

Peter stepped back, his smile falling and his eyes wide. “Alexia-,”

“I mean it. You can hang out with us, prank with us, be our friend, but the second you fuck up, you’re over. Got it?”

“Y-yes.”

Satisfied, Alexia pushed herself off from the wall and made her way into the crowd of people again. She spotted James dancing with Lily and Sirius dancing with Emmaline and was truthfully unsurprised when a pair of arms grabbed her into a dance. 

“ _ What has you in such a mood _ ?” 

Alexia rolled her eyes at Dolohov but didn’t resist dancing with him. She’d promised, after all. “ _ Pettigrew. The ball. You. _ ”

He laughed and spun her. She gripped onto him and scowled but said nothing. “ _ There will come a day when you are happy to see me, Potter. _ ”

“ _ What is it that you want from me exactly? Why are you acting so… civil? Do you expect me to believe that you’ve actually let go of your hatred of me? _ ”

“ _ I expect you to understand that it does not matter that I hated you _ ,” he disagreed. “ _ I was given orders by our Patriarch to protect you and care for you. _ ”

Curious, Alexia tilted her head. “ _ Who are you more loyal to? Voldemort or your Patriarch _ ?”

Dolohov’s eyes flashed angrily. “ _ Such questions - the answers to such questions will get us both killed. _ ”

Alexia hummed. “ _ Firstly, we’re not even speaking English. Clearly no one around us understands us if the looks we’re getting says anything. But… will you tell me why you work for Voldemort? You agree with him? _ ”

“ _ I agree with some of his goals _ ,” he told her with a frown. She was no longer surprised by the way he was openly answering her. If they were supposed to be close, they both had to share, she knew he knew that. “ _ We should not have to hide from Muggles. We should not fear them. _ ”

“ _ But we should _ ,” Alexia disagreed. When the song ended, she sighed and pulled him away from the crowd. They left the ballroom and she took him to her room for privacy. However long their conversation would be, she didn’t want to be interrupted. “ _ Listen, I was raised muggles, Dolohov. I know the weapons they have. Perhaps in the time that the statute of secrecy was put in place, we wouldn’t have to fear them, but they’ve grown the same that we have. _ ”

“ _ What sort of weapons could they have _ ?”

“ _ You know how we’ve got Bombarda and Fiendfyre _ ?” At his nod, she sighed. “ _ They have weapons that can do those things combined to large amounts of people at once - weapons that our shields wouldn’t protect against. They kill hundreds of thousands of people at once. If they knew we exist and thought we were a threat to them, we’d be dead. _ ”

“ _ You fear muggles? _ ”

“ _ I fear what they could do to us if they knew we exist and convinced themselves we were a threat to them. Perhaps we shouldn’t have to hide, and in an ideal world, we wouldn’t. But revealing ourselves to them is dangerous. _ ”

“ _ We will evolve as they have. Create curses, spells, charms to fight them in the same way. _ ”

“ _ But killing isn’t the answer! _ ”

“ _ What do you know, Potter? You clearly haven’t killed anyone. _ ”

“ _ But I have, Dolohov. I’ve killed people and I still don’t think it’s the answer. _ ”

“ _ Then why did you do it _ ?”

“ _ I didn’t really have a choice. It was either kill them or let them capture, torture, and kill me. They would’ve, too, if we hadn’t gotten out when we did. I just can’t understand why you’d want to end so many lives like that! It’s something monsters do, you know that, right _ ?”

Dolohov stepped closer, invading her personal space, and stared down at her. “ _ Be careful what you say to me. A monster would attack you right now, Alexia. I am no monster for wishing we did not have to live in private." _

“ _ Assuming that murdering hundreds of thousands of people is the way to live in public is what makes you a monster _ ,” she clarified, glaring back at him. 

“ _ Do not twist my words _ ,” he snapped at her, making her tense. “ _ You are the one that told me of their weapons, Alexia, remember that. _ ”

“Lex?” James said, nudging the door open. When his eyes fell on Dolohov, he froze and she moved quickly to him. “What the hell?”

“It’s fine, Jamie,” she sighed, glaring back at Dolohov. James grabbed her hand within his and pulled her closer to the door. “Just leave him.” 

“ _ You can’t run from me forever, Alexia. _ ”

Alexia’s eyes flashed angrily and she paused, forcing her brother to stop as well. “ _ What will you do if I do? Hurt me? _ ”

“Uh… Lex?” James frowned, looking between their angry faces. “Is that  _ Russian _ ?”

“How well do you know your own sister, I wonder,” Dolohov said to James, breaking the tense eye contact he’d been holding with her. “Who she was before you met.”

“Lexi-,”

“He’s not going to hurt me,” she scowled. “Let’s go. If Fabian and Gideon notice I’m missing, they’ll tell Mum.”

James let her pull him out of the room and, thankfully, stayed quiet. He would question her later, of course, but she was much too angry at the moment, so he walked down to the ballroom with her and spent some time dancing with her, only leaving when he passed her off to Frank Longbottom.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a random thought but I'm curious why vampires aren't really explored in Harry Potter. Like I've seen them mentioned in fics a few times but I can't quite recall hearing about them in the books and definitely not the movies. So do they exist there and I forgot or? (Yes I'm thinking about this because I'm watching New Moon because I do not feel well)


	29. Hold My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trampolines are surprisingly hard to describe when it's not an actual trampoline.

**Chapter Twenty-Nine**

_ Don’t be afraid to hold this _

_ Even thorns have roses _

_ I know I can stand on my own _

**January 5th, 1976**

“Do you know what Rictusempra means?”

Alexia glanced up from her book. She was sitting in Pollux’s office with her feet up on the chair beside her. She’d spent a great deal of the day there studying the books he’d gotten for her from Black Manor over the break. Apparently, Arcturus greatly supported her learning as much dark magic as possible and had personally assisted Pollux in finding books and subjects for her to study. “The… the tickling spell?” 

“Yes. Do you?”

She closed her book thoughtfully and considered the question. “ _ Rictus _ means ‘the expanse of an open mouth.’  _ Semper _ just means ‘always.’ Is it important?”

“Mm, I believe so. Have you ever considered using those same words but reversed?”

Alexia frowned at him. “To… what, keep their mouth open?” She gasped, her eyes lighting up. “To keep their mouth open so they can’t cast!” 

“Exactly,” he grinned at her. “Go on, give it a try.” 

“You won’t use that shield?” she raised an eyebrow. He’d apparently found it extremely amusing to use a shield that would not absorb but rather deflect spells and send them back at the caster. His lips twitched at the reminder, but he promised, so she plucked her wand off the desk and pointed it at him. “ _ Semperictus _ !” 

The spell that shot off was pink and when it hit Pollux, his mouth shot wide open. She let out a laugh at the sight and wished she had a camera. He quickly waved his hand at his mouth to cancel the spell and both paused when it didn’t work. 

“Uh… was that meant to cancel it?” Alexia wondered. He nodded and she tried for him. When it still didn’t work, she cursed softly. “Perhaps we shouldn’t have just tried to create an entirely new spell in your office. Want me to get someone?”

He raised an eyebrow at her and she knew he was wondering  _ who _ she planned to get. She considered it for a moment before she shrugged. 

“Alphard. He works in the DOM and he told me once that he’s created his own spells before.” Pollux, clearly becoming annoyed by the spell, waved her on, so she cast her Patronus. “To Alphard Black. Hey, Alphard, um… Pollux and I need your help. We  _ may _ have tried to create a new spell and now Pollux is- well, you’ll see. We’re in his office at Hogwarts.”

When the otter flew off, both of them sat back down and she couldn’t help but snicker, earning herself a glare. “Oh, come on! You look a little ridiculous. You’re lucky Sirius isn’t here. He’d lose his shit.”

When his glare continued, she rolled her eyes and picked up her book once more. She was currently reading about the effects of the  _ Imperius _ for a few minutes at a time over a long period of time. Someone had, apparently, attempted this and found that the person they’d cursed had eventually begun acting the way they’d forced them to without the curse at all or even prompting. It disgusted her, but it was also intriguing. 

There was a knock on the door about five minutes later. Being closest, Alexia got to her feet and opened it, grinning at Alphard. “You’re gonna love this.”

“Careful kid,” he chuckled, glancing past her. “He looks ready to hex you.”

She waved him off. “He would’ve already if he was going to.” 

“So  _ how _ did you do this?” 

“It was his idea,” she said firmly. “To reverse Rectusempra so that it would hold your opponent’s mouth open so they can’t verbally curse you.  _ He _ told me to cast it on him.”

Alphard shook his head fondly at her and waved his wand at his father. He used an unfamiliar counter that finally released Pollux’s mouth. 

“Fucking Merlin,” Pollux cursed, massaging his jaw. 

“Father, I’ve told you, you can’t just  _ invent _ new spells like that,” Alphard sighed, taking a seat next to Alexia, who had sat down and grabbed her book again. “You’re lucky it didn’t do anything worse than this. It’s a good idea in theory and I can help you work it out, but you can’t just switch words around.” 

“I can do whatever I want.”

“Sure, if you want to get stuck with your mouth hanging open forever. Can’t teach too well like that, can you?”

Alexia snorted. “Maybe he’ll grade his own papers if he can’t talk to us.”

Pollux narrowed his eyes at her. “ _ You _ grade my papers because you deeply enjoy skipping your classes. Which, might I remind you, you are doing right now.”

The only response she gave was to roll her eyes at him. 

“You allow her to skip her classes?” Alphard frowned, looking between them. “She’s a teenager, Father, but she needs her education.”

“She has one,” Pollux waved his hand at him. “She’s already been through school.”

“Pollux!” Alexia exclaimed, her head shooting up to look at him. “He doesn’t know!” 

The man paused. “He does now.” 

“Alexia?” Alphard raised an eyebrow at her. They’d gotten close over the last summer, but he still thought she was just Dorea’s daughter, James’ twin. 

“Might as well tell him everything,” Pollux suggested. “He can help with that little problem of yours next year.” 

“Fuck,” Alexia cursed softly. “I thought Regulus would help him.”

“That boy can’t help him any more than Orion can.”

Alexia threw her head back. “Alphard, I’m from the future.” 

* * *

Regulus glanced at Alexia as she sat down next to him looking exhausted. He knew she’d not been in class all day because Severus had been complaining about her earlier. “Long day of skipping class?”

“Yes, actually,” she made a face at him. “Your grandfather is a fucking idiot, Regulus.”

“He’s  _ your _ uncle.”

“Well, he’s an idiot,” she repeated. “He tried creating a new spell and when it failed, I had to call Alphard for help.  _ Then _ Pollux decided to tell Alphard that I’m from the future… well, he made me do it.”

“That’s not much of an issue, is it?” Regulus asked her, smiling softly when she dropped her head on his shoulder. 

“Not really. I’m stressed as fuck about how many people know and the potential of Voldemort finding out, but no, I trust him. The exhausting part of my day was that after that, Alphard took me to the Ministry to run some tests since I never did."

“Did he find anything?” Regulus wondered, suddenly concerned. Alexia nodded into his shoulder. 

“He figured out how I got sent here and how and when I’ll go back.”

* * *

“ _ What _ ?”

“Apparently, Severus threw me a very illegal and very experimental orb that held this… goo stuff. It’s supposedly time in a physical form that can be programmed. There are only a few of these orbs in the world and Severus got ahold of one of them.” 

“Shit,” Regulus cursed softly, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “When do you go back?”

“My birthday,” she sighed. “September 19th, 1979.”

“Your birthday? I thought it was March 27th.”

“That’s Jamie’s birthday,” she shook her head slightly. “We’re supposed to be twins.”

Regulus grinned to himself. “When was the last time you celebrated your real birthday?”

Alexia considered the question with a frown. Certainly not while they were on the run, and they’d missed it the year before since she’d gone to stay with the Weasley’s in mid-July and they were much too frazzled to remember. The year before that, they’d all been so focused on the war and the Order that they’d forgotten. Before that, it had been the World Cup. “Holy shit. Not since before my original third year. That’s… nine years, I think.” 

“Merlin,” Regulus breathed. “This year, I’ll celebrate with you.” 

“Reg, you don’t have to-,”

“Lexi, come on,” he laughed. “I won’t even tell anyone else, okay?”

She picked up her head to look at them, ignoring how close their faces were. “You really won’t tell anyone?”

“Our secret,” he whispered. She felt his pinky finger link with hers and smiled, shaking their connected pinkies. 

“If you insist.” 

Regulus stared at her and took in her deep brown eyes. It was surprising to him how he hadn’t even noticed them get so close - physically or emotionally. Startled by the realization that their faces were mere inches apart, he looked away and out at the lake they sat in front of. “Did Alphard learn anything more?” 

Alexia breathed out softly but looked at the lake as well. “He said that he wants to bring me back in once a month to make sure that it isn’t affecting my core or anything. According to him, they’ve never actually  _ used _ these orbs before, so they don’t know what it’ll do. He’s creating a file for me for research purposes, too, but he promised not to release it to anyone until after I leave to go back to 1998."

“He’s worried?” 

“Mm, I don’t think so. But he did test my magic to an exhausting extent.”

“Which explains how a day of skipping classes could be so tiring,” he nodded. “You should get some rest.”

“What do you think I’m doing?” she wondered, looking back at him with a small smile. “You relax me more than anyone else right now.”

Regulus felt a smile tug at his lips but said nothing and let her relax. The two spent three hours there until it was dark and curfew began approaching. It was only then that he walked her to Gryffindor and they parted, somewhat reluctantly. 

* * *

**January 17th, 1976**

It was Mary’s birthday and for it, all of the girls - Lily, Marlene, Alice, Alexia, Dorcas, and Emmaline - had gathered in the Room of Requirement to celebrate. It had led to a slight argument between Lily and Alexia when firewhiskey had been snuck into the castle. 

“How did you even get that?” Lily asked her, glaring at the alcohol. “Sirius is great at sneaking things, sure, but you-,”

“Got it from Aberforth,” Alexia rolled her eyes. “No one is going to find out, Lils. We’ll spend the night here. I also brought Wit-Sharpening potions and pain potions in case any of you get hangovers.”

“What, you won’t?” Dorcas raised an eyebrow. Alexia laughed. 

“Not in my experience, no.”

“You’re not suggesting we play Veritaserum or Dare again, are you?” Lily asked warily, eyeing the bottle of firewhiskey. “That didn’t go so well last time.”

“I remember,” Alexia screwed up her face. “I’d blame Frank, but he didn’t know, so I blame Pettigrew.” 

“He’s your friend,” Mary pointed out. “Shouldn’t you have forgiven him by now?”

“Mm, you’d think I would’ve, wouldn’t you?” Alexia muttered, grabbing out glasses for everyone and pouring them drinks. “No, we’re not playing Veritaserum or Dare. That’s not really Mary’s thing. I figured we could listen to music, drink, talk, and maybe duel a little.”

“Really?” Mary’s eyes lit up excitedly. “I’d love to!” 

“Lexi, we can’t drink and duel! It’s dangerous!” 

“I’ve done it before,” Alexia admitted. “It was muggle alcohol and not really my choice, but I wasn’t hurt.”

Lily scoffed. “Yeah, and your opponent? Did  _ they _ survive?”

Alexia had to give that one to her friend because, truthfully, they hadn’t. Still, it wasn’t her point. “Fine, we can duel before we drink. Better?”

“Much.”

* * *

“Come on, use a wand!” Dorcas exclaimed, wiping sweat off her forehead. 

“But I’m better without it,” Alexia reasoned.

“We all need a handicap with you, Potter,” Emmaline laughed. “Just use your wand.”

“She can’t,” Lily spoke up, rolling her eyes. “She left it in our dorm.”

“I’ll use a dagger, how about that?”

“How about you oversee us dueling since you’re so unfairly advanced?” Marlene suggested, laughing with her friends. Despite pouting, Alexia put her dagger away and jumped down from the platform. Mary got up instead, and the duel began, this time much better matched than before.

“So how’re things going?” Mary wondered, dodging a hex sent at her. “Y’know, has your dad said anything? About these terrorists?”

Alexia sighed. “This isn’t really cheery conversation for your birthday, Mary.”

“But tell us,” Marlene agreed. “You’re the most informed of all of us, right?”

Reluctantly, Alexia nodded at them. “Things aren’t great. Voldemort - that’s his name, if you didn’t know - is recruiting followers at an alarming rate. He’s got one of the most vicious werewolves doing his bidding, turning or murdering people for no reason at all. Muggles aren’t under attack as much as we are, but some muggleborns and their families are being targeted and killed. Dumbledore is… apparently doing his best to help, but it’s not enough.”

“My parents want to pull me from school,” Dorcas admitted quietly. She and Mary had slowed while Alexia had been speaking, and they’d finally lowered their wands for the conversation. “I’m not sure if, after this year, I’ll be coming back.”

“No,” Emmaline breathed. “You can’t!” 

Alexia shrugged sadly. “As much as I don’t want you to go, I can’t help but agree. We’re going to school with a number of Voldemort’s followers.”

“You  _ dated _ one,” Marlene pointed out. Alice nodded along. 

“And you’re close with Regulus Black, aren’t you?”

“Regulus is just trying to stay safe,” Alexia defended, startled by how defensive she was over him. “His parents are… they’re not pleasant, especially his mother. Sirius rebels, you know, and nothing good comes from it with his parents. Regulus just wants to be safe. I can’t blame him for that.”

“I can,” Lily frowned. “His safety comes at the price of other people’s lives, Lexi. How can you just be okay with this?”

“I’m not, not really,” Alexia sighed in frustration. “But I’ve been in a place before where… I could either help other people or stay safe. I decided to help them and it came at a very high price. Regulus knows about that, but more than that, he was raised to take care of himself first. It’s all he knows, really.”

“So what about Malfoy, then?” Mary wondered curiously. “Why were you okay with him?”

Looking around at her friends, she sighed and decided to lie a bit. “Because he did it for me.”

“ _ What _ ?” Lily asked sharply. She hadn’t been told anything about where Alexia stood with Voldemort, and Alexia had planned to keep it that way. 

Sighing, Alexia shook her head. “Voldemort thinks I’m dangerous. He thinks that since I’m friends with Lucius and Regulus and close with Severus and Narcissa, I have the potential to sway them and bring them to the light. So… he’d planned to kill me.” 

“Oh,  _ fuck _ ,” Marlene cursed loudly. 

“And Lucius joined him to prove that I couldn’t, you know.”

“And it worked?” Alice asked nervously. “It worked, right?”

“Uh,” Alexia frowned. “Well, Voldemort’s not coming after me anymore.”

“So it worked.”

She waved them off. “It’s not important. I’m just trying to say that while I hate that he did it, it’s my fault and not his.”

“What about Dolohov?” All of the other girls stared at Marlene, who rolled her eyes at them. “I’m a Slytherin, you idiots. I heard Dolohov come into the common room and chew Rowle out, telling him to stay away from you.”

“Oh,” Alexia frowned, startled. “Did anyone else hear him?”

“Well, he told the entire House that you’re off limits, so I’d say so, yeah.”

Cursing in Russian - mostly because they were talking about Dolohov - Alexia ran her fingers through her hair. “That was just before the break?” 

“Yeah. Something happened, huh?”

“Rowle attacked me,” she confirmed. “Dolohov found us and saved me. We are… civil, I think. It’s really complicated.”

“He’s horrible,” Lily reminded her as if she’d forgotten. “Didn’t he push you down the stairs?”

Alexia waved her off. “Yeah, he did. Like I said, it’s complicated. He can’t hurt me, not exactly.”

“But how could you know that?” Alice wondered. “He’s a Slytherin, Alex. They’re good at this game.”

“He’s the one that convinced Voldemort not to kill me,” she admitted. “And none of this is the point. Yes, I have an unfortunate connection to multiple Death Eaters. They’re not bad people- well, not Lucius or Regulus."

“My parents think there’s going to be a war,” Alice told them, shifting the conversation. “They said the ministry isn’t acting fast enough.”

“They aren’t,” Dorcas agreed. “Mum’s a lawyer. She said when she goes to the ministry and checks up on things, no one is even talking about Voldemort or his followers.”

“Probably because too many of the Ancient and Noble Houses are involved,” Marlene reasoned. “It’s so hard to investigate them. Not until war is actually declared, apparently."

“Things are going to get really bad, aren’t they?” Lily wondered, looking between her friends. “Should we be… scared?”

“I think so,” Mary admitted. “We’re not really safe anymore, are we? That’s why Dorcas is leaving, right?”

“Yeah,” Dorcas confirmed softly. 

“This is a fucking depressing birthday party,” Marlene declared. “We’re definitely going to redo this next week.”

* * *

**March 3rd, 1976**

“We’re tied!” James exclaimed, grinning at the board in front of them. “We’re twins, so if one of us wins, we’ve both technically won, right?”

“No, not at all,” Remus rolled his eyes, putting another mark under Alexia’s name for her while she served her detention. “Being twins doesn’t mean you’re the same person, Prongs.”

“Fucking bet,” Sirius laughed. “They’re creepy sometimes. Like they can read each other’s thoughts.”

“It’s their bond. They just  _ know _ things sometimes. It’s not that weird,” Peter pointed out. “It’s been a while since all of us have teamed up together, though. Maybe we should.”

“Good idea, Wormtail,” James smiled brightly. “Ideas?”

“It would be hard,” Sirius said, though he nodded. “But do you remember that room Lexi made when Malfoy’s parents wanted to meet her?”

“That huge trampoline room?” Remus nodded. “What about it?”

“I was thinking we made that but the entire castle.”

“ _ Merlin _ , that’s a lot of work,” James exclaimed. “How the hell would we do that?”

“I know a few charms that would work,” Remus admitted. “I’m sure Ash could help.”

“If it’s not too hard, maybe we can do some of the grounds, too!” 

“Slow down, Pads. We don’t even know how we can do it yet. Spells, then planning.”

“Yes, sir.”

* * *

**March 11th, 1976**

James and Alexia crept through the halls, casting the same set of charms over and over. They’d been working for four hours already and were just finishing on the ninth floor of the castle - the top floor. 

“Hey, careful,” James reminded her, smacking her hand away. “I don’t want to float to the ceiling again, Lex. I could go out the window!” 

“Yeah, but what an interesting discovery,” she pointed out. “Who would’ve thought that a malleable charm would have such a weird effect on people?” 

“Interesting but unwanted,” he rolled his eyes, pointing his wand at the window. It lit up a gentle green for a moment before it faded away. He punched the window and nodded in satisfaction when it moved backward like a trampoline would. “Are you done yet? I’m getting bored again."

Rolling her eyes, Alexia cast her spells and charms a few more times. “Yeah, yeah. What time is it? If it’s early enough, we might be able to get an hour or so of sleep before breakfast.”

“Nope,” James shook his head, casting a Tempus. “In fact, we might be late. Let’s go.”

Grumbling the entire time, Alexia allowed her brother to drag her down to the Great Hall. Only Remus, Sirius, and Peter were there, though they could all hear people around the castle discovering their prank. 

“You didn’t charm the tables and benches!” James complained when he sat down on the bench much harder than was healthy in its very solid state. “Ow. My arse hurts.”

“We’re getting to it, Prongs,” Sirius assured him. “Moony pointed out that we might want to charm the ceiling as well in case someone jumps too high.”

“I doubt you could jump that high,” Alexia laughed, glancing up. “Oh my god, Remus!”

“What?” Remus glanced over, pausing his casting. His eyes traveled to the ceiling where he’d already cast to find the charm that turned it into the sky wearing off - in its place was a regular stone ceiling. He paled, eyes widening in horror. “I don’t know how to fix that!” 

“Oh, you’re fucked,” Sirius laughed, casting the charms on the bench James sat on. When it was cast, James moved down a little, bouncing with the effect of the charm. 

“There they are!” McGonagall could be heard yelling as she did her best to rush into the Great Hall. Alexia, James, and Peter helped Sirius and Remus finish the casting. By the time McGonagall, Flitwick, Pollux, and Dumbledore got there, the entire castle and some of the grounds outside had been charmed. 

“Is this- oh, dear,” Flitwick gasped. He grabbed onto a table, unaware that it would also act as a trampoline, and fell to the floor. When Dumbledore went to help him up, the older man also fell, and Alexia couldn’t help but burst into laughter. When the men had both stood and steadied themselves, the five friends smiled innocently. “Is this your work? It’s brilliant."

“Filius!” McGonagall exclaimed. “They’ve charmed the entire castle!”

“Ah, yes… unacceptable,” Flitwick told them with a small smile. 

“A month of detention for all five of you!” 

“I don’t think that’s necessary, Minerva,” Dumbledore chuckled. “This really is extraordinary spellwork, you must admit.” 

“They must be punished,” McGonagall pushed. “It may be impressive, but it is disruptive.”

“Oh, it’s a Saturday,” Pollux laughed, poking the bench with his wand. “And exam season. Surely they couldn’t have charmed more than the Gryffindor common room, and I’d guess not even that if Mister Potter’s relationship with Lily Evans says anything at all.”

“Gryffindor is fine,” Alexia confirmed. “The possibility of annoying Lily was too high.”

“Three detentions each and I’ll be writing your parents,” McGonagall said firmly. 

“I’ll take their detentions,” Pollux grinned. 

“And ten points to Gryffindor for each of you for such brilliant charmwork!” Flitwick added excitedly.

* * *

While detentions had been set for two hours before dinner that night, the Marauders split up for the rest of the day. James and Sirius had Quidditch practice with an irate Lily, Remus was tutoring a second year Hufflepuff who blushed every time he looked at Remus, and Peter had just… disappeared. Alexia was sitting on the balcony by the DADA room, staring out at the grounds before her as she had been for a few hours. 

They’d tried to get the Marauders to remove the charms on the castle, of course, but it wasn’t possible. The charms wouldn’t come off until a full twenty-four hours after they’d been placed. Which, it turned out, was a good thing. 

Alexia was startled from her daze by a body flying past her and over the edge of the balcony. When she got to her feet and had bounced over to the edge, she caught sight of who had jumped off. “Dorcas!” 

The girl looked injured, but not by her fall. The grounds were still charmed and therefore, she’d only bounced a little before coming to a stop. The clear signs of a duel clued Alexia into the fact that she’d not jumped but actually had been thrown. When she turned on her heel, she caught sight of Jugson with his wand out at her. 

“Don’t,” she warned lowly. “Lower your wand, Jugson. You don’t have to hurt me, too.”

“I killed her,” Jugson bragged. “I can kill you, too, Potter.”

“You didn’t kill her,” Alexia scoffed. “But you picked a damn good day to try. We charmed the grounds too.”

The same moment his lips began to move, she lifted her hand. To her surprise, a spell that came from behind Jugson hit her and sent her over the edge of the balcony. As she was falling, she saw a familiar green light blast into a tree in the distance from where she’d been standing. 

“Lexi!” Dorcas gasped, struggling to get over to her. “Lexi, are you okay? Did he get you, too?”

“No,” Alexia frowned. “No, he tried, but- I need to get back up there…”

“How? It’ll take way too long. He’ll be gone!”

Alexia put her wand away and grabber her dagger to point it at herself. “ _ Alarte Ascendare _ !” The spell shot her upward just enough that she was able to land back on the balcony. As soon as she looked at the situation before her, she understood it. “ _ I get trying to help me, but Merlin, did you have to send me over the edge? _ ”

Dolohov’s eyes flicked to her and she saw his annoyance clearly. He chose not to answer her and instead glared at Jugson again. “The Dark Lord says she lives, so she will live. Try that again and it will be your life that is taken, not hers.”

“I get my orders from the Dark Lord, not you,” Jugson spat. “Don’t threaten me, Antonin.”

“I am the senior Death Eater in Hogwarts,” Dolohov narrowed his eyes. “Therefore, you do what I say. Right now, I’m telling you to stay the fuck away from Alexia Potter. Got it?"

“You can’t keep your pet safe for long,” Jugson glared darkly as he walked - or rather, jumped - past Dolohov. “Have your fun with her while you can. Someday, we’ll kill her.”

“ _ Someone’s in a bad mood _ ,” Alexia muttered as she glanced over the edge again. “Dorcas, go to the Infirmary! I’ll meet you there in a little bit, okay?”

“Are you okay up there?” Dorcas asked, eyeing her. “He’s a strong motherfucker.”

“I’ve got a guardian Death Eater with me,” she rolled her eyes. “Seriously, go. I’ll let Lily know what happened, too.”

“ _ Guardian Death Eater _ ,” Dolohov repeated with a smirk. “ _ Okay there, Potter? _ ”

“ _ I’m fine _ ,” Alexia assured him. “ _ How’d you find me _ ?”

“ _ Jugson is supposed to keep his head down here. He graduates at the end of the year and the Dark Lord wants him to stay under the radar for now. I came to stop him from killing Meadows. _ ”

“ _ Why the hell did he try to kill her? She’s done literally nothing _ !”

“Alexia.”

Alexia glanced over to find Pollux frowning at them. “We’re fine, Pollux. Clearly, or the family magic would do something about it, right?”

Pollux hummed, his eyes firmly on Dolohov. “Better be leaving then, huh?”

“ _ Thanks _ ,” Alexia said as the Death Eater walked past Pollux, looking bored again. With him gone, Alexia leaned over the side and breathed out a sigh of relief when she realized Dorcas had left. “Jugson just tried to kill myself and Dorcas Meadows. We’re both fine.”

Pollux looked annoyed, but he said nothing aside from instructing her to go back to her common room and not leave again without someone else.

* * *

**May 17th, 1976**

“Alexia,” Regulus said, startling her from drifting off. They were in the library together sitting on a couch and she’d begun falling asleep with her head on his shoulder. She lifted her head just a little bit and blinked her eyes open.

“Huh?”

“You’re sleeping again,” he chuckled softly, brushing some of her hair out of her face. “Have you been sleeping?”

“Not really,” she admitted. 

“Falling asleep on me cannot be nearly as restful as sleeping in your bed at night,” he pointed out. Immediately, she shook her head. 

“You calm me down, Reg. I feel safe. I feel… able to forget my problems, you know? So stop making that face at me.”

“Alex,” he said softly, looking at her closely. “I feel very close to you.”

“I do, too,” she nodded. “That’s exactly my point. I care about you a lot, I trust you. I feel safe with you.”

“Safer than alone?” 

Alexia nodded without hesitation. “Alone, asleep, someone could get to me. I trust that if someone tried to hurt me, you wouldn’t let them.”

“Merlin, you say these things so easily,” he breathed. “As if they don’t matter at all.”

“Of course they matter!” she exclaimed, a little offended. “I know what I’m saying, Reg. I care a lot about you, apparently more than you thought.”

“My mother hates you,” he said, confusing her. Apparently, he didn’t care much about her confusion. “She loathes you, Alexia.”

“Yeah, and? She’s a horrible woman. I’ve walked past her portrait so many times and I can truly say that she was the first dead person I’ve ever wanted to physically assault before.” 

Regulus couldn’t help but laugh. “The first?”

“Dumbledore,” she answered as if it were obvious, despite the fact that he didn’t know Dumbledore was dead in her time. “He doesn’t matter. I’m not sure why we’re discussing Walburga, but she’s terrible and I’d very much like to hex her to death.”

Regulus looked very conflicted. “I suppose the question is, then, who matters more to me? My mother, or you.”

Alexia blinked rapidly, suddenly unsure if she was actually asleep. “I don’t follow.” When he raised his hand to touch her cheek in response, it finally clicked. “ _ Oh _ .”

“If this makes you uncomfortable-,”

“No,” she found herself saying before she could even consider the question. Her mind drifted back to what Lucius had said when they’d broken up - she’d find someone else. Had she meant Regulus? Lucius certainly hadn’t seemed like he was talking about Sirius.

Which meant that, really, it just came down to  _ her _ . What did she think? Feel? Looking at him, she couldn’t deny that she felt  _ something _ . She thought it had started after he’d bonded with her, but she wasn’t sure that it was the bond itself. It felt much more natural than that to her. They’d just gotten close completely on accident, and now… 

“It doesn’t make me uncomfortable,” she said firmly. “But you’re right, your mother hates me. I’ve already defiled your House’s heir, Regulus. She’ll lose her shit.”

“So she won’t know,” Regulus decided. “If, that is, you’d like to go on a date with me.”

Alexia’s stomach was filled very suddenly with butterflies. She smiled softly at him. “I think I’d like that.”

His smile was larger and brighter than she’d seen it in a while. With how much the sight warmed her heart, she thought maybe she’d made the right decision. “Next weekend.”

“Wonderful. For now, can I get back to my nap?”

Regulus let out a laugh and tugged her back against the couch and this time wrapped an arm around her shoulders. When she drifted off to sleep again, she was much happier than before.

* * *

**May 22nd, 1976**

“Jamie, I have a… problem.”

James glanced up from his playbook at his sister, who was lying in Remus’s bed with the werewolf. “Whatever it is, hurry. I have to get this finished tonight if I ever want to start on my charms essay that’s due Wednesday.”

“Hurry,” Alexia repeated. “Fine. Regulus asked me out.”

Remus choked on the piece of chocolate he’d popped into his mouth. “ _ What _ ?”

“Shit, it was  _ Regulus _ ?” James cursed, immediately stressed. “Fuck, Lex, I was hoping you’d been flirting with Sirius!” 

“It was Regulus,” Alexia sighed, putting Remus’s pillow over her face. “I said yes.”

Remus tore the pillow away from her. “Alex, what- you like him?”

“Yes,” she admitted, glancing between her best friend and her brother. “I really do. I didn’t realize it until he said something but  _ Merlin _ , guys, I really like him.”

“And your problem is trying to tell Sirius,” James guessed, looking much more tired than he had been minutes earlier. “Fuck. No matter what, it’s not gonna be easy, Lex. He’s gonna lose his shit. What if Sirius loses it and tells Regulus about your bond?”

“Oh,” Alexia blinked. “I actually made him swear an oath not to tell anyone without asking me first. Thing is, the date is this weekend and Regulus insists that I tell Sirius since Sirius would likely just hex Regulus or something.”

“That’s true,” Remus rolled his eyes at her. “Prongs is right, though. However you do tell him, he’s going to lose it. You might just have to… get it over with.”

“Er… maybe  _ I _ should tell him,” James frowned, sitting up from lying on the bed. His playbook fell onto a pile of clothes on the floor, and he ignored it in favor of looking at his sister seriously. “Trust me?”

“I trust you,” she confirmed softly. “You sure? You don’t have to.” 

“Believe me, it’ll be better for everyone this way,” James assured her. The three fell into silence for a moment before James spoke again. “You really like him? Regulus? Another Death Eater?”

“Jamie,” Alexia snapped. “He doesn’t have much of a choice. You thought he was a good person before he became one.”

“Becoming a Death Eater is a damn good reason to change my opinion on a person!” 

“Are you going to be an arse about this?”

James let out a huff but shook his head. “No, I’m sorry. I know Regulus is… I don’t know if I trust him completely, but I don’t think he’d hurt you, Lex. It’s been pretty clear he likes you for a while, I just didn’t think you felt the same.”

“I didn’t realize it until he asked,” she admitted with a small laugh. “But you’ll tell Sirius? Tonight?”

“Shit,” James cursed. “You’re gonna be the death of me, Ash.”

“What if I do your charms essay?”

“Deal!”

* * *

Sirius had a smirk on his face when he strolled into the dorm room a few hours later. He’d had a date that night with a pretty Ravenclaw girl named Estelle. He’d borrowed the cloak and snuck her to Hogsmeade and then, upon getting back, they’d spent a good hour and a half on the main event of the night. He’d escorted her to Ravenclaw Tower before finally heading back to get some rest.

Apparently, James didn’t agree with that plan. 

“Good date?” 

“Yep,” Sirius grinned at him as he kicked his shoes off. “Magnificent. She was on exactly the same page as me, Prongs.”

“Fuck but no real dates?”

“It’s called friends with benefits,” Sirius rolled his eyes. He pulled his shirt over his head and ruffled his hair, breathing out in relief when he was finished. “What’re you stressing over now? Did Evans confiscate your playbook again?”

“Actually, I finished it,” James informed him, crossing his legs. “We gotta talk, Pads.”

Sirius, much too aware of how rarely James got serious, stopped moving. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s… wrong, exactly,” James frowned at him. “We need to talk about Ash, okay?”

“I don’t want to talk about her,” Sirius scowled, immediately irritated. James had approached the subject multiple times with his friend and Sirius had managed to escape each time. “I get it, okay? I don’t plan to go after her. I told you, I’m gonna wait until she’s clearly interested.”

“But you gotta figure out how to handle your jealousy shit and quick,” James told him firmly. “Because no matter what you think or say, she’s going on a date this weekend with someone she really likes and you and I aren’t gonna fuck it up again.”

“I’m not  _ jealous _ ,” Sirius glared down at his hands. “I’m… confused.”

“Because you like her?”

“Grandfather Pollux said at the beginning of the year that the longer it takes us to continue the bond after igniting it, the more painful it’ll be. She clearly doesn’t feel anything, Prongs, but I do. It hurts. Yes, I like her, but that doesn’t really matter. I really fucked up by kissing her when she couldn’t tell me not to, you know? I won’t fuck up again by… making her uncomfortable or pressuring her. It just  _ hurts _ .”

“So you won’t freak out when I tell you who she’s gonna go on a date with?”

Sirius paused, dread filling him. “It’s not Snivellus, is it?”

“No,” James said, resisting the urge to scold him the way his girlfriend would’ve for the usage of the old nickname. “Sirius… it’s Regulus. He asked her out.”

Sirius fell completely silent. 

_ Regulus _ had asked Alexia out? And she’d said  _ yes _ ?

“What the  _ fuck _ ?” he asked loudly, nearly shouting. “My  _ brother _ ?”

“I was surprised too,” James agreed. “But they really like each other, Pads. And don’t even consider telling him about your bond. I know Lex made you take an oath not to tell anyone.”

“Fuck.”

“She seemed happy,” James said softly. “And she has all year when she’s with him. I know it fucking sucks, man, but I also know you want her to be happy almost as much as I do.”

“Damn it, Prongs! What am I supposed to do?”

“Figure out how to be okay with it,” James suggested. “There’s not much else you can do.”

“Shit… fine. Fine, okay. My soulmate is dating my brother and  _ I _ get to figure out how to deal with it. Cool.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just woke up (let's not judge my sleep pattern) and did my makeup and as soon as I finished it I'm immediately dead tired. So. Nap and then I'll probably be posting stuff all night lmao


	30. Drop of Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexia Has A Big Headache

**Chapter Thirty**

_ But I try my best and all that I can _

_ To hold tightly onto what’s left in my hand _

_ But no matter how tightly I strain _

_ The sand will slow me down and the water will drain _

**June 4th, 1976**

“So! Now that your OWLs are over, you have two choices. You can either get in groups and duel, or set to work picking out your NEWTs classes,” Pollux told them. “Alexia will be in charge of making sure duelers don’t blow each other up.”

“Well what are  _ you _ doing?” Alexia scoffed. “I’d rather duel.”

“You don’t need to duel,” he reminded her. “I’ll be helping the others pick their classes.”

“Should we feel confident dueling if Lexi doesn’t even wanna be the… ref? What’s it called?” Peter wondered, frowning at himself. 

“She won’t let us get hurt,” James rolled his eyes. “C’mon, Pete, let’s duel!” 

It took nearly ten minutes for everyone to decide and get situated. In the side room meant for dueling, Alexia took around sixteen students over. Since there were so many going at once, she started them at the same time and paced between them all. 

All of her friends were dueling. James and Pete, Sirius and Remus, Severus and Lily, Emmaline and Mary, and Marlene and Alice were all paired up. For the most part, they all played fair. Things were, generally, going well. 

Until.

Until Lily shot a curse at Severus and he was unable to deflect it.

Until the curse hit his arm and dug into his robes. 

Until his arm was fully exposed to her. 

“Oh god,” Alexia whispered, running over to them. They both stood unnaturally still. Lily stared at his marked arm and he stared at her face. “Guys, don’t do this here.” 

“He’s…” Lily whispered, her words failing her. “Lexi.”

“Lily, we’re surrounded by people,” she reminded her friend softly, grabbing her hand. “We should sort this out privately.”

“He’s a Death Eater!” Lily exclaimed finally, horrified. The sudden volume got the attention of the mix of Gryffindor and Slytherin in the room, much to Alexia and Severus’s horror. “He’s a Death Eater, Alexia!” 

Alexia waved her empty hand at Severus in a rush to displace some of the fabric at the bottom of his robes to cover his arm once more. “Come on,” she told them firmly. “You’re not discussing this here. There’s an abandoned room down the hall, we can go there.”

“No,” Severus said, speaking for the first time. “Stay here. I’ll handle this.”

“Sev-,”

“No.”

With a sigh, Alexia watched her friends leave stiffly. As much as she wished she didn’t, she thought she knew what was about to happen and she hated it. 

* * *

“Explain,” Lily demanded angrily as soon as they closed the door behind them. “And it better be a damn good explanation.”

“It’s harder for me,” he began slowly. “I’m in Slytherin, Lily. I’m surrounded by these people. I’m close with Regulus, I’m friends with Lucius because of Alex… the Dark Lord assumed I’d be willing to join. Once he wants someone… you either join or you die. Mother said yes before I could even say no. It just wasn’t my choice anymore.”

“It was! You could’ve fought, Sev! I can’t believe you. You believe the things they believe? I… I thought you were a good person, Severus.”

“I don’t,” he denied, hurt. “I have to do what they do and act the way they do, but I don’t agree.”

“But it’s actions that count, you know that. How did you join? What did you do?”

“Lily, stop it. This is a  _ war _ . I don’t agree with anything anyone is doing! War is despicable. I regret what I’ve done, but it’ll get worse, you need to understand that. All of that’ll get worse. They’ll attack you. To them, you’re just a loud mudblood-,”

Lily gasped at the same time that Severus cut off. There were tears in her eyes and he couldn’t help but feel as if he’d done something he could never take back. 

“If this is who you are now, I don’t want to be around you,” she told him, her voice shaking. “So stay away from me.”

“Lily-,”

“I said stay away!” She stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind her with a sort of finality that was deeply painful.

* * *

Alexia dropped her head on Regulus’s arm and closed her eyes. “Everything went to shit.”

“Mm?” 

“Lily knows about Sev,” she explained. She felt him shift a little and picked up her head to find him looking at her in concern. “They were dueling and she saw his Mark.” 

“You don’t think she’ll forgive him,” he guessed with a small sigh. She shook her head at him.

“I  _ know _ she won’t. He told me himself before he sent me here. Told me that we stayed friends even after Lily refused.”

“Speaking of,” he muttered. She followed his gaze to find Severus walking over, looking rather defeated. 

“How did it go?” she asked immediately as she sat up, though she slipped her hand into Regulus’s. 

“I fucked up, Lexi,” he told her softly, sitting on her other side. “Bad. I was just trying to explain how bad it’s getting, what they’ll do to her and… I said they think of her as a mudblood, but-,"

“Merlin,” Regulus grimaced. “You don’t know when to shut up, do you?”

“She doesn’t get it!” Severus snapped. “She doesn’t see that this goes beyond Hogwarts. She needs to understand. I was only trying to get her to understand.”

“I’ll explain it,” Alexia said softly. While she couldn’t tell Lily the truth that she was from the future because Lily was a horrible secret keeper, she thought she might be able to convince her of how bad the war would get. “What did she say?”

“To stay away from her,” Severus admitted quietly. He met her gaze and she saw the fear in his eyes. “Lexi, I think this is it. I don’t think… I don’t think she’s gonna forgive me for this."

“She might,” she said, despite knowing better. “Just give her time and then apologize.” 

“Can you just… promise me you’ll keep her safe? Make sure she survives this war.”

Alexia looked away, unable to look at him. She knew Lily would die, but so would James. They wouldn’t survive the war, though they would end it for some time. She always tried her very best to not think about the day she’d lose her twin and one of her best friends, a girl that had become a sister to her. It hurt her deeply, and she closed her eyes tightly. “I can’t promise anything, Sev. I don’t… it is war, like you said, and war takes fucking everything. I won’t make a promise I… can’t keep.” 

“I know,” Severus breathed. “Just… try?”

“If I can do anything for her… I will.”

“Thank you,” he said, relieved. “I have a meeting with the Dark Lord tonight, which is the last thing I need… I’m going to be late.”

Regulus waved him away. Once the other boy had left, he tugged Alexia into a tight hug. “Are you okay?”

“No,” she answered honestly, ignoring the tears that fell into his shirt. “I’m tired of knowing the future, Reg.”

“Is it Lily?” he asked cautiously. “Does she… she dies?”

“Jamie,” she whispered. “Both… both of them. I told you that Peter did something… horrible. It was him. He betrayed them to Voldemort.”

“You said some of the people you’re closest with… I didn’t imagine your brother,” he sighed, stroking her arm. “I’m sorry, Lexi. When?”

“Halloween, 1981,” she answered softly. “Peter became their Secret Keeper when a prophecy was made about their son… Harry.”

“Your best friend is your nephew?”

She let out a teary laugh. “Yeah. That’ll give him a headache. The prophecy… Voldemort believed it, so he wanted to kill Harry, James, and Lily. And since Sirius was too obvious of a secret keeper, they switched it to Peter without telling anyone, and Peter gave them up to Voldemort. They died that night.”

“I’m… truly amazed that you can be friends with him at all,” Regulus admitted quietly. “What did Sirius do?”

“He got arrested,” she answered, unwilling to think about her friendship with Peter. “Everyone thought  _ he _ had betrayed Jamie and Lily. He was in Azkaban for twelve years before he broke out using his Animagus form to protect Harry when he saw a picture of Pettigrew in his Animagus form in the paper. Then… at the end of fifth year, there was a fight in the Department of Mysteries. Dolohov grabbed me, held me back and- I don’t know. He was creepy. He held me back while Bellatrix threw Sirius into the Veil of Death.” 

“Sirius is dead,” Regulus said, his voice a whisper. “Sirius is dead?”

“Maybe,” she frowned. “I’m… trying to change time. He sort of Vowed to avoid dueling Bellatrix. So he might live.”

“Fuck. James, Lily, Sirius, and I all die?”

“I’m bringing you back,” she reminded him quickly. “As soon as I get back, it’s the first thing I’ll do, I promise.”

“And Sirius  _ might _ live… who else is dead, Lexi?”

She considered the question sadly. “Marlene, Dorcas, Mary… I think Severus killed the Carrows during the final battle? I’m not entirely sure, it started so quickly after he deflected Professor McGonagall’s curses at them, so I don’t know what happened.”

“How do you handle this?” he wondered. “Being here, being close with us?”

“Sometimes it feels like I’m seeing ghosts,” she admitted. “Sometimes I can forget, just for a while. But sometimes I just wish I’d never come back here.” 

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I didn’t realize… I suppose I didn’t consider how hard it could be.”

“I’m scared,” she whispered. “I don’t want to see my friends die, Reg. Jugson already tried to kill Dorcas… Jamie’s going to die, Reg. I’ll get back to the future and I’ll have Severus and Remus and you and Lucius and maybe Sirius but- but James will- he’s going to be… dead.”

“Take a deep breath,” he suggested, panic rising in him at how quickly she’d become so deeply upset. He’d only seen this happen once and he had no clue how to stop it. They were sitting in an abandoned part of the library, which he thought was good luck, but he wasn’t sure to help her aside from grabbing her before she could fall forward and off the couch they sat on. She had clearly passed out for a moment and woken up again if the way she stiffened said anything. “Er- Hermione?”

Alexia shot up straight and moved away a little to look at him. She frowned, clearly unsure who he was. “What- what happened? Who… are you?”

Regulus took a moment to gather his thoughts before he replied. “What year is it? Do you recognize me?”

“It’s 1996,” she answered slowly. “No, but you look like… Sirius.”

By the way her voice broke on his name, Regulus gathered that his brother had probably already died. “What’s the last thing you remember? Don’t worry- I’m not going to hurt you. I just want to help."

“I remember… oh my god, where’s Harry? Is he safe?”

“He’s fine,” Regulus assured her. “He’s safe. Just tell me what happened so I can help you.”

“Um… the last thing I remember is being grabbed by a Death Eater in the DOM… and he was holding me, and I think he… licked my neck,” she winced, biting her lip. “And then Bellatrix threw Sirius into the Veil and… I’m here. I don’t understand.”

“Okay,” Regulus let out a shaky breath, uncomfortable with the anger rising in him at Dolohov. “Can you calm down? Take a few deep breaths? Everyone is okay.”

“No, I can’t,” she told him in a tone that suggested he was being ridiculous. “Sirius just died! Aside from that, I’m so  _ scared _ and- and  _ sad _ …”

“You’ve had some amnesia,” he explained. “You won’t remember until you can calm down.”

“Do I… know you?”

“You do,” Regulus nodded, reaching out slowly to touch her hand. He connected their pinkies and shook them. “And you trust me. Pinky swear.”

Alexia looked deeply confused but nodded. “What do I do? What happened? How did I get back to Hogwarts?”

“You came back here after the battle,” he decided. “You’ll remember all of it if you can calm down, Al- Hermione. Do you have a bag on you?”

She looked around, moving enough that he caught sight of her other side and the absence of her bag. “No, why?”

“It has calming draughts,” he sighed. “Give me a minute, okay? I need to send a Patronus. Can you stay right here?”

“You’ll come back and explain things?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at him. He offered her a small smile. 

“I promise you’ll understand everything as soon as possible.” When she nodded, he got to his feet and stepped away. Once he cast his patronus and it ran off, he came back quickly to find her staring at a dagger, which she’d clearly pulled from the sheath on her thigh. “Might wanna put that away.”

“Where did I get it?” she wondered softly, running her finger gently over the blade. “It’s beautiful.”

“You have two of them,” he said, pointing out the other sheath. “Someone gave them to you when the man that grabbed you during the battle hurt you again.”

“He hurt me again?” she asked, frowning darkly at the dagger. “How? What did he do to me?”

“Mostly curses. He did shove you down some stairs, though. He was a bit obsessed with hurting you.”

“Not… anymore?"

“You seem to have… come to an understanding with him,” he said slowly. “He won’t hurt you again.”

“Regulus,” Lucius said, running over. “Explain.”

“We were talking,” he began, thankful that the older boy had arrived quickly. “She told me about James and then… this one seems pretty bad.” 

“Regulus,” Alexia repeated softly, frowning at him. “Sirius told me about you. But… you’re-,”

“Hermione,” Lucius said softly, coming around the couch to kneel in front of her. He didn’t seem bothered by the way she jerked back from him. “I’m not going to hurt you, I swear that on my wand, okay? But there’s a lot you don’t understand right now and you need to calm down. I know you’re scared and sad and confused, but this won’t get better until you calm down, okay?”

“She said she was in the battle where Sirius dies,” Regulus explained. “Where Dolohov grabbed her.”

Lucius took in a slow, deep breath. He’d seen that memory and he remembered exactly how she’d been feeling while it was happening. On top of the terror and grief over her brother dying, she had to be terrified of Dolohov and crushed over Sirius, and reminded of Crabbe and Goyle by Dolohov’s actions. “I see. This… makes sense, then, I suppose."

“You know it?” Regulus asked. Lucius nodded shortly. 

“She asked me to identify Dolohov, so I viewed some of those memories, this being one of them. How long has it been?”

“Maybe ten minutes.”

“If you don’t tell me what’s going on, I’ll figure it out for myself,” Alexia declared, sounding as irritated as she did afraid. 

“I think showing you would be better,” Lucius decided. “I’m going to take you to the Room of Requirement while Regulus goes to get some people that’ll help. Would you like to see Remus?”

“Yes,” she breathed out in relief. “Yes, I would. He’s here?”

“He will be,” he assured her, nodding at Regulus. With one last glance at her, the younger boy sped out of the room and took the stairs two at a time until he reached Gryffindor Tower. Sirius kept him up to date on passwords in case of an emergency, and Gryffindor was pretty used to seeing him come and go, so he went right in. 

“Regulus?” James said, startling him from rushing straight up the stairs. He was sat with Remus and Sirius on a couch, as well as Lily. Peter was missing from the common room - he’d been given a detention for hexing a third year Hufflepuff earlier that day. 

“You need to come with me,” he told them, aware of the other Gryffindors staring at him. 

“Why? What’s wrong?” Sirius wondered, getting to his feet easily. It had been a while since he’d seen his brother so out of sorts and it worried him. “What happened?”

“It’s Alexia,” he said. That got all of them - even Lily - to their feet. Questions were pointedly ignored until they got to the seventh floor, where he put his hand up. “Just Remus and Sirius first."

“She’s my  _ sister _ !” James exclaimed. 

“She’s extremely confused. This episode is bad. Just give them a couple of minutes.”

“Fine,” James glared. “Five minutes and then we’re coming in.”

They opened the door and Regulus, Sirius, and Remus walked in together. Lucius was sitting with Alexia in what appeared to be a sitting room, though it was one none of them recognized. 

“Hey, kitten,” Sirius said. Alexia’s head whipped around and her hand came up to cover her mouth. “She thinks I’m dead?”

“I’d have told you out there, but…”

“Mixed company,” Sirius sighed. He moved over and kneeled down in front of her. “Look, I’m alive. Can’t get rid of me so easily.”

“I just saw you die,” she whispered, poking his shoulder and making him laugh a little. “You’re so young, all of you.”

“It’s time travel,” Remus told her, his voice quiet and soothing. “Someone sent you back in time, Hermione.”

“Time travel to the past is-,”

“Not only possible in five hour increments,” Lucius interrupted her with a small smile. “We’ve had this conversation a few times.”

“What happened was rare,” Regulus told her at her frown. “My uncle Alphard figured it out. Someone gave you something that is extremely rare. It sent you to 1971, where Dumbledore de-aged you and placed you with Dorea, Charlus, and James Potter. You’re James’s twin sister, Alexia. It’s 1976 right now.”

“When the hell did they figure it out?” Sirius asked in shock. “What did Alphard say?”

“Focus,” Remus rolled his eyes at his friend. “I know you’re scared, Hermione, but you’ve been with us for almost six years now.”

“Why am I… so confused? What happened to me?” 

When no one seemed willing to answer that, Regulus scowled. “You know how I told you that someone gave you those daggers after Dolohov hurt you?”

“Yeah…”

“Dolohov also hit you with a really nasty curse that damaged your mind. When you get really upset really quickly, you forget where and when you are.”

“I believe you were sent back to the time when Sirius died because you were discussing the loss of someone else you love and it scared and upset you,” Lucius told her, squeezing her hand, which he’d been holding since before Regulus got there. “Those two together, they’re extremely powerful emotions, Hermione.” 

Hermione frowned, staring ahead of her as she tried to process. “Why does Sirius know he’s going to die?”

Lucius pushed her sleeve up a little, baring her Vow mark. “You had him take an Unbreakable Vow not to fight Bellatrix and die. You’re trying to change time, Alexia.”

“Alexia,” she repeated his mistake softly. “I would love to deny everything you’re saying but… you’re all so young. But… Sirius, you told me Regulus was a Death Eater. I know you’re one, Malfoy. I don’t understand."

“You told me some of the future,” Lucius sighed. “We’re close friends. Despite the fact that I don’t believe in the things the Dark Lord does, I would have ended up here, anyway."

“Close friends,” she repeated in disbelief. “Your son is a prat, you know.”

“You’ve said,” he chuckled. “But thanks for letting me know.”

“I know you’ve interacted with my mother’s portrait,” Regulus shrugged. “I do what I can to stay safe.”

“And we’re friends, too?”

“Something like that.”

The door opened, making them all jump. Sirius cursed and leaned over to whisper in her ear. “James and Lily don’t know you’re from the future, but they know about your amnesia. Just don’t call him Harry again, he’s getting way too suspicious.”

“Lex,” James said, rushing over. Lucius moved out of the way, and James sat down and grabbed her in a hug. “I was so worried. Regulus acted like you were hurt or something.” 

“Um…” she frowned, her hands hovering over his back. She caught Remus’s gaze and, with his encouraging smile, she hugged him back. What made her the most uncomfortable was that the deep sadness in her worsened when she was wrapped up in the hug and when he’d come in. She felt like she was grieving, and she thought it had to do with the fact that apparently, he was her brother and she knew he’d die.

“What happened?” Lily asked softly, standing next to where James sat. “The memory thing again?”

“Yeah,” Regulus answered softly. “It’s been around thirty minutes now. Have any episodes ever lasted this long before?”

James pulled back from the hug and grabbed her face in his hands, looking her over with deep worry. “Thirty minutes? Merlin… they’ve never lasted more than ten before.” 

“We’ve sort of explained the base facts to her,” Sirius told him. “She probably just needs a calming draught.” 

“I’ll get it,” Regulus told them. Alexia was surprised to find herself reaching out to grab his hand before he could leave. 

“Don’t.”

“I’ll go,” Lily offered. She gave Alexia a smile smile and rushed out. 

Alexia looked between Regulus and Lucius. “You know what happened after the DOM?”

“I do,” Lucius answered her. At her curious look, he smiled softly. “We’ve talked a lot.”

“What about the DOM?” James frowned, looking between his sister and her ex. “What happened there?” 

“She went to a battle there when she was younger,” Sirius told him slowly. “I dunno what happened after it, just what happened during.”

“Me either,” Remus added. James looked at Alexia in frustration. 

“Why’d you tell them and not me?” 

“Clearly, she doesn’t know,” Lucius told James. “You’ve seen some of her worst memories, James. You can imagine why she wouldn’t want to share more with you.”

“You did?” Alexia wondered, gathering his attention again. James nodded and grabbed her hand within his own, squeezing. 

“Dolohov cursed you and when it was triggered, you and I felt every bit of pain you ever felt. That included torture, and since I haven’t seen things nearly as awful as you, I saw some of your memories.”

“Oh, god…”

“It was three years ago,” Remus spoke up. “It’s okay.” 

“After the DOM,” Lucius said, gathering her attention again. “You’d been cursed pretty badly. There’s a scar on your hip, on the left.”

She lifted up her shirt a little and brushed her finger over the scar. It was a dark purple and there was some pain when she touched it. Unfortunately, her eyes drifted up a little when she caught sight of the bottom of her mark. Upon lifting her shirt up more, she gasped loudly. “ _ I have a tattoo _ ?”

“It’s not a tattoo,” Lucius assured her hurriedly. “It’s a Mark, just there to prove that some of us Death Eaters aren’t evil. I have it, too.”

“You do?” Alexia asked, surprised. He lifted his shirt as well, and she stared at his mark in wonder. “Did I give you that? When?”

“You did,” Lucius said, clearing his throat a little at the reminder. They’d been extremely close when she’d given it to him, and it was a bit uncomfortable to remember in front of her, her brother, her bond mate, and her boyfriend. “You gave it to me last year. Dumbledore recognized the mark in his Order, so it’ll help me to regain my home, money, and status when this war ends.”

“I didn’t know you did that, Lex,” James muttered, poking her mark. It lit up as well as her Order marks and the small wand mark on her neck. “Holy shit. What are those?”

“She joined the Order, remember?” Sirius pointed out quickly. Luckily, James was still holding her hand and therefore couldn’t see her second Order mark. “I dunno about the other one… I think it’s one of hers."

“She created it with the gentle hermione mark,” Lucius explained. “For a different group of people.”

“Who?” James wondered. 

“No one important,” Regulus interrupted, eyeing the mark. The door opened again, and everyone seemed relieved when Lily ran in with a potion in her hands. It was quickly given to Alexia, and they all watched her closely, waiting. 

“Better?” James asked gently. Slowly, she shook her head. 

“No, not… not really.” 

“Fuck,” Sirius cursed loudly. “What the hell do we do?”

“Take her to Pollux,” Remus decided. “He’s supposed to protect her, right?”

“Pollux… Black?” Alexia blinked. She recognized the name, and her eyes moved to Sirius. “He’s your… grandfather, right?”

“Yep, and your uncle,” Sirius smiled nervously. “He’s here because you keep getting hurt.”

“He’d help,” Regulus agreed. “We’ll take her to him.”

“I’m her  _ brother _ ,” James scoffed. “I’m going.”

“Hold on,” he glared. “We’ll take her to him while you go let your parents know. They may want to come over for this.”

Reluctantly, he nodded. “Fine. But I’m coming to find you right after.”

* * *

Alexia stood in the hall, frowning down at her hands. Nothing made sense. Well, she supposed some of it did, but most of it… There was something off, she knew. It frustrated her that she didn’t know all of the circumstances around her presence in the 70s. What exactly had happened after the DOM? Who had sent her to the past? Surely they didn’t mean anything good to happen by doing it. So was she in danger, she supposed, was the question. 

“ _ Alright, Potter? _ ”

Alexia gasped, looking up. In front of her was a boy that was vaguely familiar. He was looking at her curiously and with what she thought might be slight concern. But she didn’t know who he was, and that fact alone frightened her. “I’m… fine. Why are you speaking Russian?”

He tilted his head at her. He could clearly tell something was off and she longed to fix it and rid him of his curiosity. “Why are you not?”

“I haven’t spoken Russian in… three years, maybe,” she answered softly. “I’m sorry. I’m a bit rusty.”

Understanding passed through him and suddenly his frown morphed into a smirk. “You’d said you were fucked up. I wondered if I’d ever see it.”

“You know me well?” she asked softly. She felt a strange mix of emotions when she was speaking to him, very conflicting emotions. “Are we close?”

“We should be,” he answered easily. “What’s your name? The old one. I’ve forgotten.”

“I told you?”

“You did.”

Alexia stared at him for a long moment before she nodded. “Hermione Granger.” 

“ _ Lovely _ to meet you, Hermione Granger.”

“Dolohov,” Regulus growled, closing the door behind him. His hand slipped into Alexia’s, and she held onto it tightly. Understanding passed through her at the name Regulus spoke, and she tensed. 

“Dolohov,” she repeated softly. “He-,”

“I know,” Regulus assured her, still glaring ahead at the older boy. “But he doesn’t. He knows nothing of your past and it’s best to keep it that way.”

“She’s quite helpless like this, isn’t she?” Dolohov smirked. “Hermione Granger. Definitely a muggleborn name. She said as much, I suppose.”

“She can still hex you,” Alexia snapped. Despite the fact that she  _ felt _ helpless, she hated that she seemed it, too. 

“Someday, Potter, I’ll catch you like this again,” he told her, stepping closer. Regulus tugged her into his side, but Dolohov didn’t care. “And you won’t know what secrets to keep. You’ll tell me where you came from."

“I’m sure this is doing wonders for her trust in you when she is aware,” Regulus snapped. “Tell me, what the hell do you want from her? Bored of trying to kill her?”

Dolohov grinned. “That’s a question for her, Black. Does it really matter? I’ve saved her from two of our Housemates this year. Would you rather I join them? Do you know what Rowle tried to do to her?” 

“What are you talking about?” Alexia asked, frowning between them. “What happened?”

“Earlier this year,” Dolohov smiled at her, reaching out to touch her cheek. “Thorfinn Rowle attacked you. Do you remember what those boys did to you when you were younger, Potter?”

Alexia felt her breath hitch. Surely he didn’t mean Crabbe and Goyle… right?

“Ah, you do,” he chuckled. “Rowle didn’t get too far before I got there. The worst you got was a concussion. Well… that, and you terrified your boyfriend here by calling him to take you back to your dorm.”

“He didn’t…?”

“No,” Dolohov told her a bit more seriously. “No, he didn’t, but he planned to and I’d bet he still wants to.”

“What the hell did he do to her?” Regulus asked him sharply. “I didn’t push when she couldn’t say, but-,”

“It’s a fine line I tread here, you know,” Dolohov told Regulus. “Pressing her buttons but not crossing those boundaries. I’d say that if I told you what happened to her, she might never let me near her again.”

Alexia, frustrated, confused, and scared, slipped out of Regulus’s grip and ran into the room behind her. Regulus didn’t follow her, much to her relief. Lucius was sat at a desk, but Pollux was nowhere around. 

“Hermione,” Lucius said, taking in her sharp breathing and tense stance. “What happened?” 

“What did Rowle do to me?” she asked him, biting her lip hard. Lucius looked startled and concerned. “What did he do?”

“I’m not entirely sure,” he told her softly, his voice soothing. “But from what I gathered from you and Regulus, it seems he gave you a concussion. Regulus thinks he was holding you down somehow because you had some bruises on your wrists.”

“But you know, don’t you?” she asked him. He met her eyes and nodded slowly. 

“I believe he tried to assault you, Hermione. You said Dolohov stopped him.”

“I thought Dolohov did this to me,” she said, horribly confused. “My mind, I thought he messed it up.”

“He did. Things have changed since then. You trust him not to hurt you again and to keep you safe.” 

“ _ Why _ ?” 

“Because you are related to the Dolohov family,” Lucius admitted softly, looking very tired. “And that means something to old families. You told me that the Dolohov Patriarch ordered him to stop attacking you and to protect you instead.”

“And he… listened?”

“It seems so.”

“Ah, there she is!” Pollux said, walking back into the room with another, younger man behind him. “How are you doing, Alexia?”

“I’m confused,” she decided. “And my head hurts very badly.”

“That’s your mind,” the man behind Pollux told her. “It’s from the pressure on your mind.”

Alexia glanced at Lucius, who smiled at her. 

“Alphard Black,” he explained. “You trust him. He works in the Department of Mysteries and has been helping you for a while now.”

“It’s okay, kiddo,” Alphard assured her, walking over to stand in front of her. “I’m going to do my best to help you, okay?”

“What will you do?” she asked quietly. 

“Has anyone explained exactly why your mind is suppressed the way that it is when you have sudden and intense emotions?”

“Dolohov’s curse, right?”

“Well, yes, but there’s more,” he told her. “Lucius here told Father, and he explained the situation to me.”

“Hermione,” Lucius said, gathering her attention again. “When this happened, you were advised to see a mind healer to go through your memories and mind and heal them so that these episodes didn’t happen. You refused."

Alexia understood suddenly. “Because I’m in the past?”

“Yes. What we haven’t told you, though, is that you were actually nineteen when you were sent to the past.”

“Oh my god,” she gasped. “I’ve missed three years?”

“More like eight,” Pollux said, being extremely unhelpful. 

“And in those three years, you learned some things about Voldemort and the war that Voldemort himself would torture and kill you for,” Lucius explained. “I tried to change your mind, but… you were right. At the time, there was no one that would take deep enough and dangerous enough vows to keep the contents of a thirteen-year-old girl’s mind secret.”

“But now there is?”

“Yep,” Alphard smiled at her. “I did some training as a healer and mind healer before I joined the Unspeakables. My Vows with the Department of Mysteries are so aggressive and in depth that anything I learn from a case - which you are since I’ve made a file about you - cannot ever be shared without express permission from Croaker, who doesn’t even know about you. If I even began to speak the words, my magic would kill me instantly and curse my family for eternity.”

“How do I usually end these… episodes?”

“Usually, we calm you down,” Lucius sighed. “But that’s not possible here. Regulus said the episode was triggered when you were discussing the future death of James. He’s your twin brother and you’re very close. I’m not too surprised that it sent you back to when you lost someone else you love.”

“Who would that be?” Alphard asked gently. Alexia looked between him and Pollux and shook her head. 

“It’s okay,” Lucius assured her. “They wouldn’t try to change the future.”

“It was… Sirius,” she answered with a shiver. She swore she could still feel Dolohov’s arms wrapped around her tightly and his breath on her neck. The sight of Sirius being thrown into the Veil played over and over in her mind. 

“Ah, that makes sense,” Pollux nodded firmly. “Even your younger self may have felt a tug of a bond not yet ignited.”

“A… bond?”

“It isn’t important,” Alphard told him, shooting a glare at his father. 

“What will you… do?” she asked softly. 

“It’ll take some time,” Alphard admitted. “Since it has been so long since you’ve suffered the traumatic injury to your mind. But I will enter your mind and carefully disconnect the suppressed memories from the injury itself. As I do that, I’ll be chipping away at this blanket over your mind. Throughout the process, you should remember some more of your life since the point that you remember now.” 

“How long would this take?” Lucius asked. “You said some time. Do you think she won’t calm down before you’re finished healing her?”

Alphard sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I wish she’d told me about this before. I wish Aunt Dorea had mentioned it. This is truthfully  _ very _ rare. Obviously, most people choose to undergo the mind healing early on. Each episode over the last three years has worsened the injury to her mind. The episodes last longer the longer it’s been since it happened, right?”

“They do.”

“There’s only so much trauma the mind can handle,” he explained carefully. “And each episode put more pressure on the injury, more trauma. There is a point when the trauma, this sort of blanket over the memories is so thick and heavy that… with one really, very bad episode, she could slip under and not be able to come out until there has been mind healing.”

“You’re saying I won’t remember until you… fix my mind?” Alexia asked nervously. At his regretful nod, she closed her eyes tightly. “How long will that take?”

“It depends how often we meet, how long our sessions are,” Alphard admitted. “But I’d guess… a few weeks, maybe a month.”

“And these episodes won’t happen again?” 

“It’s likely that the trauma is too severe. If that’s the case, the episodes will happen, but they will be much easier to manage. It would just require more mind healing after each one.” 

“But you can fix me?” 

“I can.”

“Then let’s get started.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this is the last chapter I can post before I get everything up. I'll work on my other stories tonight.


	31. Summertime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Big Thing happens in the middle of the chapter. Then, a small argument with Alphard? I think?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm going to make a note at the end to tell you what happened in my multiverse story so you don't have to read a whole other story to continue this one, as it does have a bit of an effect on this story. Sorry for the inconvenience!

**Chapter Thirty-One**

_ If you stay, I would even wait all night _

_ Or until my heart explodes _

_ How long until we find our way _

_ In the dark and out of harm? _

**June 4th, 1976**

The door slammed open, and the two in the room froze. Stepping inside was a furious Dorea Potter with Charlus hurrying in behind her. Alphard set his wand down and put his hands up. “I’m not hurting her.”

“You will not touch her mind,” Dorea ordered angrily. “She is not the same person that she was before this episode began, Alphard Black. She only knows what we can tell her.”

“They told me everything,” Alexia said, frowning at Alphard in confusion. “Why I didn’t want to see a mind healer before, what happened to me. I just want to remember.” 

“I know, dear,” Dorea told her. “But you cannot, in the same sound mind that you were in hours ago, consent to him entering your mind and messing with it.”

“She will never return to the state she was in earlier without help from a mind healer,” Alphard said impatiently. “I care about her, too, Aunt Dorea. I won’t hurt her.” 

“Please,” Alexia said, looking between the people she assumed would be Charlus and Dorea Potter. “I can’t go around not knowing anything.”

“Love, if you can offer some alternate option, we’ll obviously use it,” Charlus told Dorea. “But it seems to me that it is either this, or we spend the summer teaching her of her life here and what little we all know of her life in the future.”

“ _ Fine _ ,” Dorea said, looking between her daughter and nephew. “But if her mind is any worse than it was before-,”

“First off, I am extremely offended that you think I’d ever hurt her. Second, she will be in pain but better. And finally, she might forget the past eight years, but she still seems like a bloody capable witch. If I tried to hurt her, I have no doubt she’d successfully fight back, do you?”

“Thank you,” Alexia muttered, still a bit offended that everyone thought she was so helpless. She was confused, sure, but she still knew how to hex the bollocks off of someone. 

“Thank you,” Charlus smiled softly. Dorea was still clearly upset, but she was mostly worried for Alexia. Truthfully, Alexia and her parents had known how dangerous the episodes were getting. She’d begun to see a muggle counselor to work on coping mechanisms like deep breathing and grounding to keep from falling into an episode.

Alphard waved them out of the office impatiently. Once her parents were gone, he smiled and sat down across from her. “They’re concerned for you.”

“They’re… Charlus and Dorea Potter. They’d be James’s parents, right?”

“And yours,” he confirmed. “Regulus did say James went to get them for you. I assumed Father would take care of them.”

“So… what exactly will you do here?”

“I’ll enter your mind using Legilimency,” he said with a smile. “Have you begun practicing Occlumency yet?”

“I have, but I’m not very far in.”

“Your shields now are much further ahead than when you were sixteen. They’re strong. You’ll have to accept me entering your mind or your natural shields will deflect me and it’ll be painful, okay?”

“I can do that.”

“After I enter your mind, I’ll start picking memories loose. The way I do that, is play through them and work on ridding you of the damage. Think of it as cutting away scar tissue, okay?”

“These memories, they’re of my life after… Sirius?”

“Should be. Anytime since Sirius died to you sitting with Regulus in the library earlier. That’s eight years of memories, which is why it’ll take a couple of months.” 

“Okay… okay,” she nodded firmly, straightening. “I’m ready.”

Alphard grabbed his wand and raised it to point at her slowly. Their eyes met, and she focused on the fact that she wanted and needed him in her mind. When he cast the spell, he slipped in easily and they were immediately thrown into a memory when he touched it accidentally, not expecting one so close to the top of her mind. 

_ Hermione eyed the man as he kneeled down next to her and pushed a lock of her hair out of her face. He stroked her cheek lightly, shaking his head at her as if she were a disappointment.  _

_ “You’re almost there,” he told her. She could barely hear him or understand him. Her body shook and her chest hurt. She wasn’t sure she cared what he had to say. His breath tickled her lips, and she wanted to move back or cry, but she could do neither. “You’re almost her." _

“Who is he talking about?” Alexia wondered softly, eyeing Dolohov. She and Alphard stood over the scene and while it didn’t look like Alphard was doing anything, she could also feel some painful knots on the memory undoing themselves. 

“You, I would guess,” Alphard replied softly. “Do you remember what happened here?”

“No. I look… hurt.” 

_ Dolohov kissed her chapped, bleeding lips and stood. He raised his wand at her, looking more grave than he had moments before. “Crucio!” _

“Oh my god,” Alexia breathed. Umbridge had tortured her pretty badly, but she didn’t think she’d experience it again after the woman was ejected from the castle. The scene around them shifted abruptly, and she looked around curiously. 

_ “Busy, Potter?” _

_ Alexia spun around with her wand out and pointed at him. “Go away, Dolohov. I’m sick of you.” _

“How much did we fight?” Alexia asked Alphard. The man hummed. 

“I’m not entirely certain. I know he was obsessed with you for some time. I began coming to parties and events because your mother asked me and the others in our family that still cared for her to look after you.”

_ A familiar curse dug into Alexia’s hip, just in the same spot it had hit the first time. She was thrown to the ground and her head hit a rock. _

_ “There’s something about you,” Dolohov whispered as he moved to sit on her legs. She winced, eyeing him and the position they were in. “Something that makes you… irresistible.” _

_ “Get off of me,” she spat. She was clearly badly hurt and losing energy quickly. Dolohov grabbed her wrists and pinned them above her head.  _

_ “Ah, Alexia,” he laughed. When their eyes met, she closed her eyes abruptly. “Oh, but I’d love to know what’s happened to you. Won’t you tell me?” _

_ “Get off of me,” she repeated, her voice shaking. He leaned down and kissed her lips, and she whimpered.  _

“Oh,” Alexia breathed, her breath hitching at the sight. It only reminded her of the DOM and what had happened in the first memory they’d viewed. 

_ “What a nice sound,” he whispered to her.  _

“I know what he’s threatening,” she said softly, eyeing him. “But he doesn’t look like he’s actually going to… do anything like he’s suggesting, does he?”

“He’s a Slytherin,” Alphard pointed out sadly. “I’d guess he was just fucking with you.”

_ “Get off of me!” Alexia screamed loudly. He moved his hand to silence her, and she used the opportunity to swing upward and punch him until he was pushed back enough that she could shove him off of her. She crawled back until her back hit a tree and she raised her hands at him. _

_ “You fucking bitch,” he cursed. He raised his wand at her. “You’re going to regret that. You’ll beg me to kill you.” _

Alexia screamed out in pain when Alphard tugged at a string that did not want to come loose. 

“Okay,” Alphard said, releasing it. “Okay. Are you okay?”

“It- it changed,” she managed, looking at the memory before them. 

_ “Hey- Hey, Mione!”  _

_ Hermione paused and looked over her shoulder. She smiled softly at Charlie as he caught up with her. “I assume you didn’t come to help me fold napkins for the reception?” _

_ “Fuck no,” Charlie laughed, grinning at her. “I came to steal you.” _

_ “Charlie… I can’t,” Hermione sighed, pulling out her wand to wave it at the table in front of them. Quickly, the napkins began folding themselves. “Your mum really needs help today, you know that. Most of Fleur’s family couldn’t even make it into the country with the new restrictions on Veela being classified under ‘Creatures’.” _

_ “I know, kid, but c’mon,” he said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “I heard from a little bird that you’ve been moving non stop for the last week.” _

_ Hermione narrowed her eyes at the redhead. “Harry?” _

_ “Nah, Ginny. Why would he come to me?” Charlie rolled his eyes.  _

_ “He likes to complain about things that absolutely do not concern him.” _

_ “Give me an hour of your day and then I’ll leave you be. Deal?” _

_ “...thirty minutes.” _

_ “Yes! Okay, come on.” _

_ “Where are we going?” she asked, though she let him lead her past the large white tent and to the edge of the pond on the property. They sat on the bench together, and she waited patiently for him to answer.  _

_ “You know what Bill thinks?” Charlie asked her as they looked out over the calm water together.  _

_ “Hm?” _

_ “He thinks you guys are leaving soon.” _

_ Hermione glanced up at her friend. She had told Bill that they were leaving - it was why he’d been helping her learn wards and curse breaking every spare moment the two had over the summer. She hadn’t expected him to tell Charlie, though it made sense. They were close and Bill knew she trusted Charlie the same that she trusted him. “Hm? Why?” _

_ “Because he’s not stupid,” Charlie laughed. He leaned back to look at her. “When?” _

_ “Tomorrow morning,” she answered. “Harry doesn’t want us to tell anyone, but I trust you guys. It’s why Bill’s been helping me learn this summer.” _

_ “Why are you leaving?” he wondered, a concerned frown on his face. “Whatever it is, we can help.” _

_ “No, but you guys need to help people  _ here _ ,” she reasoned. “What we’re doing, we don’t know how long it’ll take and it has to stay a secret until it’s over. What we know, it’s dangerous, Charlie.” _

_ “What is it?”  _

_ Hermione looked him over closely. “What we’re going to hunt, they’re called Horcruxes. You-Know-Who has made a lot of them. Harry killed one in second year and Dumbledore killed another at the beginning of last year. We have one lead on where one might be, but… Dumbledore seemed to think there were many of them. Maybe seven.” _

_ “And… what are they, exactly?” _

_ “They… it’s brutal, Charlie,” Hermione breathed. “They’re items that contain a piece of You-Know-Who’s soul. He kills someone and uses that to slice off a piece of his soul and put it into these objects. Until all of them are destroyed, he can’t die. It isn’t exact immortality, but… didn’t you wonder how he came back?” _

_ “Oh, motherfucker,” Charlie cursed under his breath. “Merlin, Mione, you’re eighteen! Harry and Ron are only seventeen!” _

_ “What would you have us do instead? Dumbledore, for better or for worse, gave this information to Harry, which he gave to us. We’re it, Charlie. We have to do this.” _

_ “You could get hurt,” he warned her, concerned. “Bad. You could die.” _

_ “So could you,” she shot back. “It’s a war. None of us are safe until it’s over, you know that. This is how we can help end it.” _

_ “Promise me you’ll come back when it’s over, yeah?” he requested. She smiled at him and leaned over to hug him but didn’t reply. None of them could promise that.  _

“Charlie,” Alexia said with a fond smile. “He and I became friends last year- er, fourth year. Ginny actually found out about the dragons before anyone else and I was with her. Until the first task was over, I visited often because I was so curious. We’ve written a lot since then. He and Bill are wonderful.”

Alphard released the spell, and they both fell out of her mind gently. He looked and felt sick, and he leaned over to pull his drawer open. She watched as he poured himself a drink and then drank it down in one swig. “Shit.”

“What is it? The Horcruxes?”

“They’re… worse than you said,” he grimaced. “And Voldemort has more than one? That’s never been done before. I wonder if you knew when he made them…”

“Well… the diary I mentioned, he must’ve made that when he was about sixteen,” she said thoughtfully. “Harry wrote in it once. The version of him that tried to drain Ginny’s core to come back, Tom Riddle, was sixteen.”

“Oh, fuck,” Alphard cursed. He lowered his head and pressed it against the back of his hand, the same hand that still held the empty glass. “I think we should stop here.” 

“Do you… do you think we found them?” Hermione wondered. “And destroyed them?”

“You haven’t told me as much as you’ve told Regulus or Lucius,” he admitted slowly. “You should ask them.” 

“Can I go see them?” She asked. “I’m feeling… better than before.”

Alphard gazed at her quietly. “I will take you to Regulus. You can talk, but then I have to take you back to your parents. I doubt you’ll be staying at Hogwarts for the last week of term.”

“Thank you,” she smiled softly. “For helping me so much. You don’t have to.”

“You’re family,” he informed her. “Of course, I do."

* * *

Regulus walked into the Room of Requirement, eyes on Alexia. She looked much calmer than when she’d left, and he took a moment to really appreciate how clearly different she was. She seemed much lighter than the Alexia he knew. He supposed that might have to do with what she’d told him she went through in the war, not to mention what she’d gone through since being tossed into the past. 

“Where’s Alphard?” Alexia wondered as the door closed behind him. “I thought he’d be taking me to Potter Manor.”

“He went to talk to Sirius,” Regulus told her. He took a seat across from her, aware how tense she was. “James went to Potter Manor, but Sirius couldn’t. I think he’s just letting him know that you’re okay.” 

“Sirius wanted to go to Potter Manor?” she asked, surprised. Regulus nodded slowly. 

“You’re close with him, too. The first time I saw you have one of these episodes, Sirius was there. He talked you out of it. That was actually when I found out you’re from the future. You told him to let me know and then kicked us out so you could take a nap.”

Alexia fell silent for a moment. “I have a lot of questions.”

“I would be shocked if you didn’t,” he said with a small laugh. “I’ll tell you what I can, but I think you’ve told Lucius more.” 

“Why is that? How did I- how did I ever become friends with Lucius Malfoy? His son is horrible and he cursed me at the DOM.”

Regulus stared at her. Suddenly, their dueling the year before made sense. If they dueled in the future, it was understandable that they’d do so beforehand so that he would be able to potentially hurt her later on. “You’ve never told me, either of you. I do know Severus was shocked over it, because he mentioned it once."  


“Severus… Snape?”

“Yes. You’re friends with him as well.”

“God,” she shook her head. “And you. Am I… a good person?”

“What?” Regulus blinked, confused. “Of course, you are. Why?”

“Well… that’s three Death Eaters,” she pointed out. “And clearly, I knew when I befriended all of you. And I was close with Malfoy? How close?”

“Ah… pretty close,” Regulus told her. She leveled him with a look that he’d never seen on her before - one that he could tell meant she had very little patience and expected him to answer her. “You dated him for two years. You guys broke up at the beginning of this school year because his parents wrote up a contract between him and Cissa."

“Oh my  _ god _ ,” she breathed, her eyes wide. “And when Dolohov referred to you as my boyfriend-,”

“Ah, right. I didn’t think you’d caught that.”

“Clearly, there were more important things happening,” she pointed out. “We’re dating?”

“We’ve been close since we met,” he admitted. “This entire Dolohov thing is actually my fault. I overheard him insulting you and Sirius, so I brewed a babbling beverage. You helped me adjust it so that he couldn’t trace it back to me. You got detention for it and he shoved you down some stairs.”

“How did I adjust it?” she wondered with a small, thoughtful frown. “Well… if I didn’t want it to be traced back to you, I might’ve changed it to mimic a polyjuice potion, just activated by the hair… and put it in all of the drinks, I suppose. How would I have gotten his hair, though?"

“I did that,” Regulus laughed in surprise. “That’s exactly how you did it. How do you already know the polyjuice potion? They don’t teach it at Hogwarts.”

“Oh. Well, in my second year, there was some… information that we needed to get from Draco - that’s Lucius’s son - and since he was in Slytherin and we’re in Gryffindor, I found a book in the library and… we sort of brewed it in Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom."

“When you were  _ twelve _ ? Merlin. I knew you could do things you shouldn’t be able to do at twelve, but  _ here _ . I suppose you’ve always been rather impressive, huh?”

Alexia blushed, but she shook herself and thought back to her questions. “Do you know what happened? Did I ever tell you about the war?”

“Bits and pieces,” he answered slowly. “Before I got the Dark Mark, I asked you some questions about what you went through. We’ve discussed some other things a little bit, like some of the things regarding me.”

“You?” 

“I’m going to die,” he explained. She tensed a little, though she wasn’t entirely sure why. The thought just upset her. “Don’t worry. You can bring me back.”

“ _ How _ ?”

Regulus sighed and leaned back in his seat. “Last year, you went on a raid with the Order to help them fight. You said you did well, but you got hit by a curse, a bad one. It was killing you. You and I performed a bonding ceremony so that you could die and I could bring you back. That’s what happened, but you can bring me back, too.” 

“I died? What did… did I say anything about it? Death, I mean.”

“Not really. I got the feeling you didn’t want to discuss it much. I don’t really blame you.”

“Oh. So, you’re going to die. What did I tell you about that?”

“You told me that someday, the Dark Lord will use Kreacher to hide an item. You said it was something despicable, something horrible. I will, apparently, make Kreacher take me to this item. I will drink a potion and steal the item. According to you, the potion will make me thirsty, and I will try to drink the water around the island and be killed by Inferi. You said my last order to Kreacher will be to leave and destroy the object.”

“Oh my god,” Alexia breathed. “Did I tell you what it was? The object? Was it like a book?” 

“You didn’t mention, no,” he shook his head. “Why? What are you thinking?”

“It’s a Horcrux, Regulus,” she told him, tapping her foot anxiously. “You’re going to find one of his Horcruxes!” 

Regulus grabbed the arms of the chair he sat on. “A Horcrux? Alexia, are you sure? Are you certain?”

She nodded rapidly. “We saw in my memories, I was telling Charlie about them because he stopped me before we left to look for them. I’d said I had a lead on one, it must’ve been yours since you gave it to Kreacher! I wonder if I ever found it.”

“Lucius… might know,” Regulus said, feeling dizzy. “But he’s at Malfoy Manor.”

Alexia slumped in her seat. “Alphard is taking me back to Potter Manor in just a little bit. Do you think you could ask him for me?”

“I’ll only be able to write you for two more weeks,” he frowned at her. “After that, Mother will restrict mine and Sirius’s contact with you.” 

“Oh… okay. That’s okay.” 

* * *

James stared at Alexia just as she stared back at him. He couldn’t help but compare her to the sister that had arrived years ago. She was so different and clearly mostly untouched by the war. But she was still curious and critical, and he found it funny how she seemed to be attempting to figure him out without even speaking. “So what’d you remember?”

Alexia raised an eyebrow at him, fully aware that there was a lot she couldn’t tell him. “I remembered a couple of the times Dolohov attacked me and a conversation with a friend… before I met you, I guess.”

“How d’you know? It could’ve been since we met.”

“No. I met him last year- er, I guess nine years ago, technically. That’s still weird. He’s my friend Ginny’s older brother, Charlie.”

“You don’t really talk about them much,” James informed her. “Just Harry sometimes. Usually in your episodes. You always think I’m Harry.”

“You… do look incredibly like him. I guess if I’m away from them for so long, it’s probably painful for me to talk about them.” 

“Tell me about Ginny and Charlie, then.”

Alexia hummed. She didn’t particularly see the danger in that. “Ginny is my best girlfriend. She was my first girlfriend, too. She’s fierce. She’s really strong. More powerful than half of the people we go to school-  _ went _ to school with. She’s very much no-nonsense, but in a different way than her mother. She’s the one that convinced me to go out with Krum last year.”

“Krum?”

“He’s a Quidditch player from Bulgaria. I don’t much like Quidditch, but he’s also  _ brilliant _ and challenges me. He’s a really good friend, actually. Anyway, Ginny is very… explaining her is hard,” she laughed. “She’s like a sister, really. Charlie is close to a brother, and so is the oldest of the family, Bill. It was actually a memory from before what was apparently Bill’s wedding. I… don’t remember that…”

“And Charlie and Bill? Were they your and Ginny’s age?”

“Ginny’s the youngest in the family,” Alexia shook her head. “I became friends with her brother, Ron, first. He’s second youngest. Then is the twins, Fred and George, who drive me bloody insane.”

“Why’s that?” James laughed at the irritation suddenly written on her face. 

“Because they prank all the time!” 

James gasped dramatically, his hand on his chest. “ _ You don’t like pranking _ ?”

“Of course, not! It’s disruptive and rude and their grades are horrible!” 

“Our grades are fine!” James exclaimed, pointing between the two of them. “Matter of fact, our grades are great!” 

Alexia’s eyes widened in horror. “ _ I _ don’t prank.”

“You bloody well do, and you’re amazing at it! We wouldn’t pull off half the pranks we do without you and Remus.”

“Oh, god, they were right,” she whispered, horrified. Fred and George had previously taunted her about how wonderful she’d be at prancing if she only just tried. She had thought they were just trying to get on her nerves and while that might be true, they were also right, according to James.

“Moving on from your apparent hatred of pranks,” James muttered, shaking his head at her. “What about the rest of these siblings?”

“Well… after the twins is Percy, but he’s… ah, not great. Then there’s Charlie. He works with dragons in Romania. I met him when he came to do a job with the school and Ginny took me with her when she wanted to visit him. He’s funny, but he’s also very smart and is good at paying attention to the people around him. Bill’s much the same, actually. Bill is a curse breaker that works with Gringott’s in their Egypt branch.”

“You said you trained under a curse breaker for a summer! I bet it was him.”

“Bill’s sent me some books on the subject over the last couple of years, but I didn’t meet him in person until this Christmas,” she admitted. “We became friends in third year when Ginny and the twins complained about my studying habits to him. Apparently, they thought it was unhealthy. They assumed he’d have advice for me. He didn’t. He just advised against using coffee and pepper up to stay awake for multiple days at a time.”

“They sound like good people,” James told her softly. “I’d ask if you miss them, but…”

“I miss Bill and Charlie,” she shrugged. “But for me, I was just with Ginny and Ron, and I saw Fred and George earlier as well. Do you know what I was doing today?”

“Um… sort of. Something happened this morning in Defense.”

Alexia glanced down at her hand out of habit when the class was mentioned, just to make sure her scars were covered. There didn’t seem to be any new damage, but then again, it was covered. She rubbed at it a bit and was relieved to realize it didn’t feel painful like it did after her detentions. “What?"

“If I tell you, tell me what’s with the hand?”

“Are you gonna freak out?”

“Nah.”

“Fine.”

James nodded. “Pollux told us to duel and you were supposed to watch us. Lily and Sni-  _ Snape _ paired up and she found his mark. He’s a Death Eater. She told him to stay the fuck away from her, and you went to… I dunno. I think you went to find Regulus.”

“Why? He said I’m friends with Snape, so wouldn’t I have gone to find him? Or Lily?”

“You relax around Regulus,” James shrugged. Alexia thought back to the way she’d not wanted him to leave and figured he was probably right. Even though she didn’t remember him, he was apparently important enough that she didn’t want to be away from him when she was upset. “Tell me about the hand now."

Alexia grabbed her wand and waved it at her hand. He grabbed it and looked down at it silently. “‘I will not plot against the ministry,’” she quoted. “My professor this year, my fifth year, made me use a blood quill. There are scars on the other hand because you can charm them, you know, for which hand you want it to scar, but those are mostly nonsensical. We used blood quills for our final exams.”

“ _ Fuck _ . What the fuck, Lex? I knew you were fucked up but your teacher fucking tortured you?”

“Stop cursing,” she snapped. “She was thrown out of the castle. She won’t be coming back. I’m fine.”

They fell silent for a moment. 

“I can’t believe you don’t like pranks.”

* * *

**June 9th, 1976**

Alexia stood in her room, looking around. Some of her things felt vaguely familiar in the sense that she’d seen them multiple times over the past five days while others felt like she knew them. Without looking, she knew that in the cabinet under the sink in the bathroom, there was a bottle of mint body scrub that Malene had given her, but she couldn’t say why or when or even if she’d ever used it before. 

The sessions with Alphard were extremely exhausting. For the most part, she’d been uncovering memories from the three years between the DOM and when she’d been sent to the past. She knew bits and pieces of that time and none of it was good, she knew.

She’d run into a memory of chasing Ron out of a room she and Harry had sat in with enchanted birds. It was, truthfully, embarrassing. Clearly, she’d had a crush on him. She just… couldn’t remember developing that crush or, apparently, getting over it. 

As for Regulus… she was confused. She felt things for sure, but she didn’t remember when it started or how they acted around each other. He was extremely patient and understanding, however, so she felt safe talking to him about her issues, which she’d been doing regularly and would be doing later that day.

School wasn’t out yet, but the society season started and there was to be an event that afternoon. She’d been given the option to skip it, but Regulus, Lucius, and even Sirius had suggested against it. Apparently, the society events were protecting her from… something. None of them were willing to clarify  _ what _ .

There was a knock on the door as it opened, and she looked up, expecting James or Dorea. To her surprise, it was a pair of twins that felt familiar. She frowned at them as they slipped into the room. 

“There you are, Pip! Miffy let us in but she left too quick before we could ask where you were at.”

“Um,” Alexia frowned at them, unsure. “Where’s James?”

“Think I saw him out back on his broom,” the other twin answered. The first one poked her with a raised eyebrow. 

“It’s as if she hasn’t written us about how much she misses us all year,” the first twin complained. 

“Oh, thank goodness,” Dorea said, hurrying into the room. “I’m glad I found you. Are you alright, dear?”

“Yes,” Alexia answered quietly. “I should be getting ready.” 

“I’ll talk to them,” Dorea assured her, waving the twins out of her room. They were gone for fifteen minutes, and in that time, Alexia managed to pull on her dress and do her makeup. Her hair, she felt, was rather hopeless. By the time she sat down in front of the mirror and glared at her hair with her brush in her hands, the twins slipped back into the room.

“Suppose I feel a bit less offended now,” one winked at her. “Trouble with the hair, Pip?”

“I’ve never been good at it,” she answered softly. She had a guess of who she was speaking to, and it saddened her that she got to be there while Molly was without them in the future. “I’m not entirely sure what to do with it.”

“Allow me,” the other one said, pulling out his wand. At her hesitant look, he smiled. “D’you know who we are?”

“Molly’s brothers, right? Fabian and… Gideon?”

“I knew she liked you better, even now,” Gideon joked, though he nodded. “That’s us. And we can definitely help with your hair. We did before this year’s ball, too.”

“Are we close?” she asked softly. She hated not knowing these people that apparently knew her so well and cared for her. It was frustrating, but she also felt extremely guilty for not knowing. 

Both twins nodded, but Fabian spoke. “Yep!” Gideon waved at her, and she leaned back to let him mess with her hair. He used his wand and bobby pins for the most part, and she watched in amazement as he expertly combed through it and pulled it up into a bun that was much cleaner than the ones she usually put her hair in while studying. “We actually came over to finally tell you what’s going on next year, but I suppose it should probably wait until you can remember how annoyed you were that we were keeping secrets.”

Alexia narrowed her eyes at him. “Don’t you  _ dare _ .”

“Look, she’s already annoyed!” Gideon laughed. “It’s not like she’ll forget when she remembers everything else, you know.”

Fabian shrugged. “We did our year of Auror training this past year, right?”

“I know you’re Aurors,” she confirmed with a slow nod. Ginny had told her as much. 

“ _ Well _ , I talked to Moody and Dumbledore, and they agreed it would be helpful to have a trained Auror as DADA professor. Of course, I’ll probably occasionally be called away for raids and such, but I’ll definitely be your professor next year!”

Alexia looked in the mirror at him. He was grinning brightly at her and she got the impression she’d likely have been excited, so she offered him a smile. “What’s Pollux going to do?”

“Pollux?” Gideon grinned at her, pausing his motions. “He’s filling in for Professor Vector this year while she visits America to take care of her elderly mother.” 

Alexia frowned. “Pretty convenient.”

“He’s a Black,” Fabian rolled his eyes. “Questioning them is pointless and very possibly dangerous. I’m sure he’ll deny any involvement if you ask.”

“This dress is itchy,” she muttered, tugging it down. “Why do purebloods feel the need to dress so dramatically? This is apparently supposed to just be tea. Why can’t I wear normal robes?”

“Pip, we heard the same exact complaints out of you last year,” Gideon laughed as he placed three extra strength stasis charms on her hair and the bobby pins themselves. “Just be glad you didn’t have to do your own dress shopping this year. You made it sound pretty dramatic.”

Alexia grimaced. “I hate shopping.”

“You’re gonna be late,” Fabian informed her, helping her to her feet. “On the plus side, you should know a few people there. Plus, we’ll be attending.”

“Really? I thought this was a bunch of pureblood, ancient and noble house nonsense.”

“Yep, it is. Lucky for us, we’re pureblood, ancient and noble nonsense people.”

* * *

To Alexia’s surprise and great relief, the second she entered Malfoy Manor - where the day was being held - she was surrounded by people that were at least somewhat familiar to her. Regulus stuck to her side since Walburga had gone to Italy for some sort of business deal. Aside from Regulus, she found Narcissa staying close by, which was odd to her. Lucius also checked in occasionally. 

“Oh, dear,” Narcissa shook her head. “You didn’t pick out this dress, did you? It doesn’t seem very much your style.”

“ _ Dresses _ aren’t my style,” Alexia shot back, smoothing down the skirt. 

“She’s on edge,” Regulus said to his cousin. “She met all of these people last year and now she doesn’t remember them.”

“Stick to her,” Narcissa ordered. “Lucius and I have to mingle much more than either of you do since this is Malfoy Manor.”

“I plan to.”

“Speaking of Malfoy Manor,” Narcissa gazed at Alexia with a tiny frown. “Lucius was concerned about you coming here. Are you alright?”

Alexia shrugged. “If something happened here, I don’t remember it. Or I do, but not the entire thing. That keeps happening. I remembered hexing James yesterday but not why or when or even how. He claims I’ve hexed him so much that he couldn’t tell me for sure."

“...yeah, you have,” Regulus agreed, laughing at the exhausted glare he got. “You’ve got a short temper.” 

“No, I don’t.”

“Perhaps we should not irritate her temper now,” Narcissa suggested with a small laugh. “I’ll be back later. Good luck, Lexi.”

“Thanks…”

* * *

Alexia smacked away Alphard’s wand, making a face at him. “I’m  _ fine _ . Seriously. If you want to heal these injuries for me, I’d appreciate that, but I’m fine.” 

Alphard eyed her with a frown but did move to heal her up. “Tell me again what happened during the fight.” 

She threw her head back in exhaustion. “I fought for a bit. I didn’t really get hit with much because of the blood shields, but like Croaker said, our magic was… not as strong. I went to help Mia and after the shield separating the room fell, I was hit with a Killing Curse. I woke up back here with Regulus and Dolohov.” 

“You died,” Alphard repeated, his eyes shooting to hers. “ _ You didn’t think that worth mentioning _ ?”

She just shrugged. “Done it before. I’m fine.”

“You haven’t died in another universe before,” he pointed out, waving for her to lie down on the table she sat on. Once she had, he began scanning her core with every spell he could think of. “You’re sure you remember everything?” 

“If that stupid curse didn’t give me  _ all _ of my memories back, I’m going to find him and hex him.”

“Perhaps we can stay in this universe,” Alphard requested, dropping his wand on the table next to her. “Your core is reacting… oddly. It doesn’t seem dangerous, but I’m concerned.”

“Could it be from not being home for so long?” she wondered. “Maybe Regulus is like that, too.” 

“I’ll check him over once I’m finished with you,” he assured her. “What was this curse? Do you remember?” 

“Honestly?” she frowned. “No. He cast it and  _ immediately _ all of my memories were released at once. It fucking hurt.”

Alphard sighed and waved for her to sit up. “Well, you seem generally fine. The only things I’m concerned about are your core and that bond you created with the other girls.” 

“It’s not hurting me,” Alexia shrugged. “With any luck, I’ll never see any of them again, so… I don’t think it’ll be an issue, right?”

“Let’s hope.” 

“Can I go home now? I wanna make sure James is okay. Plus, I have to come up with some sort of excuse as to how I can remember everything suddenly.” 

“Good luck,” Alphard shook his head at her as he helped her off the table. He walked her over to the floo and looked her over. “Where’s your wand?”

Alexia froze, horror filling her. “I… lent it to- I left my wand in another universe!” 

“At least you’ve got your daggers,” he tried, earning himself a glare. “You don’t  _ need _ your wand, Alexia.”

“Bet it’s Mia’s fault,” Alexia muttered as she stepped into the floo. “Should’ve just let her die.” 

“Good night,” Alphard laughed. She just made a face at him and threw down the floo powder with nothing but bitter mumblings as a goodbye. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary of MTD:
> 
> Alexia was pulled from 1976 and sent to another universe in 1996. Regulus, who she was touching at the time, went with her. Harry and Ron were also pulled there from their place in 1998, which means they got caught up on what she's doing in the past. While there, an alternate version of Avery managed to heal her mind so she remembered everything, ending the super bad episode she was in. She jumped around a bunch and even got home for a bit, where she found out one of the others accidentally let it slip to James that she's from the future. While there, Mia ends up there as well and gives her the spells she used to manipulate the sands of time to save people, including James. She's taken to another universe with five other girls and six versions of Dolohov, including her own, who found out she's from the future. There was a fight where she helped Mia, an alternate version of herself, fight the woman that had done all of this. After killing her, Mia was distracted and didn't see her version of Dolohov shoot off a killing curse, so Alexia stepped in front of it and died. Antonin got pissed as hell and killed that Dolohov (but I'm really lame so if you read Trouble Is A Friend, he's not dead, oops). They managed to return everyone to their rightful universes. They talked to James and he agreed to be Obliviated. Regulus went home, and she had a talk with Dolohov where he kissed her and then let her Obliviate him.
> 
> And that's it, I think! I know it's a lot. It wasn't originally meant to be plot-relevant, and technically you really can still read this without reading MTD but I felt like maybe it would be helpful to be filled in.


	32. Sunlight Dies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Antonin is annoying, Lily is traumatized, and Alexia and Pollux attempt to steal a time turner from the DOM.

**Chapter Thirty-Two**

_ Leave a dream where the fallout lies _

_ Watch it grow where the tearstain dries _

**September 1st, 1976**

The summer was spent, for Alexia, trying to process everything that had happened at the end of the school year and the day of the first society event. It had been… a lot. Luckily, she was keeping busy. Order meetings were once a week and she met with Alphard twice a week to track her core progress. It was taking much longer than Regulus’s to heal, and Alphard suggested it was because she’d died in another universe. 

Raids were, unfortunately, picking up. She’d gotten a few messages from her friends warning her when they’d be at a raid. She didn’t avoid going despite knowing they were there. The raids were frustrating for the simple fact that Aberforth was so concerned that one of the pureblood Death Eaters would try to get her arrested for breaking wands or something of the sort. In the end, she’d lost her shit on him and Moody had backed her up. 

The beginning of school was dreaded. She didn’t want to go back. She’d skipped out on all of the rest of the society events because she was overwhelmed by them and couldn’t handle acting like she wasn’t also out there fighting half of the people she made small talk with.

The train ride to Hogwarts was a long one spent in a compartment with James, Regulus, Sirius, Lily, and Emmaline. For the most part, it was relaxing. Alexia had stuck by James’s side s much as she could since her adventure in the multiverse, and he’d certainly noticed it. The fact that she refused to explain why had him on edge, too. 

“I’m going to fucking lose my mind,” James told her finally when they began discussing dinner and she’d stated that she needed to sit with him. His sharp tone surprised her, and she paused. 

“ _ Merlin _ ,” Lily breathed, grabbing Alexia’s hand. “What’s going on?” 

“She won’t- I don’t  _ care _ if you stick to me, Lex, but I need to know why you’re following me all over the damn place!” 

Alexia stared at her brother. “Why?” 

The question seemed to surprise him and he blinked at her. “ _ Why _ ? You’ve never been like this before, Lexi. I’m worried about you and you’re driving me crazy.” 

“She got like this with me too, Prongs,” Sirius tried. “It’s probably just anxiety. Relax.” 

“There’s something more,” James insisted. “She’s keeping some sort of secret from me. Something that scared her.” 

Regulus stood quietly and reached for Alexia’s hand. She looked between him and her brother and took it. They left the compartment quietly and without another word to James. 

“You didn’t have to snap at her,” Emmaline told James, making a face at him. “She looks like she’s going through some shit.” 

“But I don’t get  _ what _ ,” James threw his hands up. “Usually when she’s in a mood for more than a week, she tells me, or someone else does. There’s just… nothing. She’s got more meetings with Alphard now, and she won’t even tell me why. Plus, she lost her wand!”

Lily frowned. “She lost her wand? How? Did she get a new one?” 

“She won’t tell me how,” James shrugged helplessly. “She didn’t. She says she can just use her daggers or do wandless magic.” 

“Maybe you just gotta leave it,” Sirius suggested. “You know she’s got her secrets, Prongs. She’s still Lexi, she’s still your sister.”

“Well, sure, who else could she be?” James asked, irritated. 

Sirius covered his mouth to hide his laugh. 

“I just want to understand,” he continued. “I’m tired of her secrets.” 

Sirius touched his head against the wall as his laugh melted into a sigh. “Okay, you wanna know her secret?” 

“ _ You know _ ?” 

Sirius nodded. “She’s been making herself older and fighting with the Order.”

“But my parents are in the Order,” Emmaline told him. “They said it’s seventeen plus. No one underage allowed. They’d have recognized her, too.”

“Well she looks older and different,” he said like it was obvious. “I’d guess that whatever’s going on, it happened in a raid.” 

“Like when she died,” James nodded quietly, gaining stares from Lily and Emmaline. “Oh- ah, shit.” 

* * *

“I just don’t know what to tell him,” Alexia muttered to her boyfriend as they took a walk down the train. “I Obliviated him, Reg. What’s my excuse for needing to be with him? I can’t just say that I was in places where he was dead or that I felt the loss of our twin bond.”

“What did you tell him when he woke up? About your mind.” 

Alexia sighed. “Mum told him that Alphard essentially found a… loose string and that when he tugged on it, everything came loose.” 

“You have to come up with something, Lexi,” Regulus told her with a frown. “The goal was to put this all behind us, but he’s suspicious.”

“If I’d had the same stupid idea that I had for Dolohov when I was Obliviating Jamie, none of this would be a problem,” she muttered bitterly. “Why does he get to remember and not my own twin?”

“Wait,” Regulus grabbed her arm gently and shook his head. “What are you talking about?” 

“Well I was getting really tired from Obliviating James and I didn’t want to do too much, so for him, I only took out the parts about… you know, where I’m from.”

“So Dolohov remembers going to another universe? Meeting other versions of you?” 

Alexia nodded. “And I left the memory where he agreed to be Obliviated, too, so that he’s not suspicious about everything that’s missing.” 

“ _ I am suspicious _ .”

Alexia let out a yelp and turned around. Dolohov smirked at her and it took great restraint to keep from hexing him. “ _ I’m not really in the mood for your… you _ .”

“Believe it or not,” Regulus told her with a raised eyebrow. “Not all of us speak Russian.”

“He’s just being… him,” she rolled her eyes. She turned to look back at Dolohov, who was considering her. “What?” 

“ _ I told you to leave two memories, Hermione. You left many more than that. _ ”

Alexia tensed at the use of her old name. She’d known he planned to begin using it, but it still startled her and, apparently, Regulus. Her boyfriend’s eyes sharpened on Dolohov, looking ready for a fight. “ _ I was too tired to remove them all. I had just died if you don’t remember _ .”

“ _ Including our kiss _ ?”

Alexia’s hair began to spark, much to the confusion of Regulus and the amusement of Dolohov. “ _ You kissed me. I did not kiss back. If I wasn’t so surprised, I’d have slapped you. _ ”

“ _ Sure _ .”

“I’m going to hex him,” Alexia warned Regulus. “I’m going to fucking curse him, Reg.”

“We’re leaving,” Regulus said, quickly guiding her away from the boy, who was still smirking at her. He led her down to Lucius and Narcissa, who was luckily nearby. Once inside and with the door closed, he raised an eyebrow at her. “What was that?” 

“He’s pressing my buttons,” she muttered, offering a quick smile to her friends. “I might’ve made a mistake not completely Obliviating him. I’m going to fucking hex him.” 

“Dolohov?” Narcissa asked with a tired sigh. Regulus nodded and Lucius frowned at Alexia. 

“What happened?” 

“It’s nothing,” she waved them off. “He’s just testing me.”

“Did things get worse there?” Narcissa wondered, concerned. Alexia shook her head slowly. 

“Um… sort of better, I think. And he remembers most of it, just not the... The time travel bits.” 

“And some of that he used to get on your nerves,” Lucius raised an eyebrow at her. “What happened, Alexia?” 

Alexia rolled her eyes and glanced at her boyfriend. “Can you go tell Jamie I’m fine? I’m sure he’s worried I’m angry with  _ him _ . I’ll stay here.” 

Regulus glanced at his cousin and friend. “Make sure she stays here.”

“We will."

Once he was gone, Alexia screwed up her face. “Right before I Obliviated him, he kissed me. He remembers that part. He was… I don’t know. We were speaking in Russian, but he talked about it right in front of Regulus and- it’s not like I wanted him to kiss me and if I hadn’t just visited a ton of different universes and tortured an alternate version of myself, I probably would’ve slapped him for it. But he also told me he cares for me, and I just- ugh.”

“Take a deep breath,” Narcissa coached as her boyfriend’s eyes flashed angrily. “Both of you. He wouldn’t dare touch you again, Alexia.” 

“I assume he wouldn’t,” she agreed. “And his excuse for it was that he wouldn’t remember it. But he does and even if he didn’t,  _ I _ remember it.” 

“That is completely inappropriate,” Lucius said finally, his lips thin. The only sign of his fury was his eyes, which were rather telling if one knew where to look. “I am no longer unsure of why he did what he did in the future, Alexia. He has no boundaries and no care for your boundaries."

“I think he was just trying to get on my nerves,” she said, concerned at how angry he was. “Really, it’s not a big deal, I was just annoyed because I haven’t figured out how to tell Regulus without him doing… er, what you’re doing.” 

“He kissed you, Alexia!” Lucius exclaimed as the door opened. Alexia closed her eyes as Regulus froze, looking between them. Finally, his eyes settled on his cousin.

“Narcissa?” 

“Come in,” she suggested quietly. When he closed the door behind him, she nodded. “It seems that Alexia was trying to figure out how to tell you this piece of it. Before she could Obliviate Dolohov, he kissed her.” 

“ _ What _ ?” 

Alexia opened her eyes to find Regulus staring at her furiously. She felt anxiety fill her at the sight. “Reg, I never even  _ suggested _ \- I didn’t- he just did it. I wasn’t doing anything to suggest he should. If I had been more confident in my magic, I’d have removed that memory, too. Alphard says I’m healing much slower, though, and I was already so drained from James, and I just wanted to get rid of him and see my family and-,”

“Lexi,” he said, moving to grab her hands. She couldn’t help the way she jerked back immediately with how tense and scared she was. Surprised, he moved slower then to grab her hands and she let him. He kneeled down in front of her. “I’m not mad at  _ you _ .”

“Please don’t try to fight him,” she requested softly. “I can’t handle the Dolohov thing getting worse again, I really can’t. Just let it go.” 

“Let it go,” he repeated, sounding like that was impossible. Still, looking at her, he realized how truly upset and afraid she was. He wasn’t sure who had made her afraid of a situation like that, but she was definitely afraid. Getting angry and trying to get back at Dolohov was absolutely the last thing she needed. “Okay. I’ll let it go.”

“You-,” she paused, confused. “Really?” 

“You’ve been dealing with him for way too long,” he told her gently. “I won’t make this worse for you. I love you too much to do that.” 

Alexia breathed out in relief and leaned forward to wrap her arms around him. When her eyes drifted up to Lucius, who was sitting in front of them, she saw a weird sort of happiness and sadness in the look on his face. It was wiped away so quickly that she almost thought she’d imagined it. “You too?”

It seemed to take him a lot of effort to be able to answer her, but finally, he nodded. “I will not approach him.”

* * *

**September 2nd, 1976**

“So, will you let me skip classes, too?”

Fabian let out a laugh and waved the rest of the tables out of the way with her. “Lexi, we’re in the middle of my first class and you’re going to ask me that now?” 

She shrugged, helping him pile the chairs in the sides of the room as well. “These people know I skip classes already. What are they gonna do, tell McGonagall? I’m not afraid of her.” 

“Lex, you’ll miss Hogsmeade,” James reminded her from the nearby wall where he stood with Remus and Lily. “I think Regulus might hex you for that.” 

She screwed up her face. “I have the resources to sneak out of the castle, you prat.”

“Later, Pip,” Fabian suggested, messing her hair up a bit as he turned to the class. “This year, Alexia will be my assistant in classes, so listen to her, too.”

“But she’s our age! She needs to learn this bullshit, too!” 

Alexia glared at the general area of Slytherins that had called that out. “I already  _ know _ this bullshit. I’ve perfected it. Plus, I went over class plans with Fabian over the summer.” 

“Why is she always friends with professors? She doesn’t even have to flirt with them,” Marlene complained dramatically, making Mary laugh.

“Marls, flirting with Binns didn’t help your grade at all. You just gave us all a shitty lesson in flirting with ghosts.”

“Let’s pivot away from  _ that _ ,” Fabian chuckled. “Today, we’ll begin silent casting. Everyone needs to pair up.”

The commotion of pairing up lasted ten minutes in total. They were told to stand across the room from one another, and once they’d done that, Fabian and Alexia did the same but in between the other pairs to make sure they could be seen. 

“We’re going to show you what needs to be done,” Fabian explained. “I’ll be silently disarming and Alexia will be silently - and wandlessly, but please ignore that - casting a  _ regular _ shield. Got it? Just a regular  _ Protego _ .”

“Merlin, it’s like he doesn’t trust me,” Alexia muttered, earning a few eye rolls from her friends who had seen her blood magic shield. “Got it, no dark magic in Defense Against the Dark Arts. Who’d’ve thought?” 

“Ready?” Fabian asked with a small chuckle. Alexia put her hands up and nodded. “Go!” 

Both of them, of course, cast flawlessly. His spell was absorbed by her shield, which was  _ not _ dark magic. 

“Notice how we didn’t whisper the words or mouth them,” Alexia pointed out, holding the shield steady while Fabian kept going. “Look at him. He’s completely stoic. Lil creepy for him, if you ask me.” 

“And once you get really good at it,” Fabian added, raising his other hand, which held a second wand. “You can cast more than one spell at a time.” 

Alexia watched carelessly as he threw something at her. It wasn’t  _ Expelliarmus _ , but it seemed harmless, so she didn’t pay any attention to it. Unfortunately, that cost her. The spell arched above her shield and came to hit her chest, turning her hair orange to match his. “Fab!”

“ _ That _ spell was one I made specifically for you and your friends,” he laughed, watching her try to get rid of it. “Gideon helped me. Won’t come off for five hours, Pip.”

Alexia narrowed her eyes at him. “I’ll get you back for this, Fabian Prewett.”

“I very much look forward to it,” he said with a bright smile. “For now, let’s get to work!” 

* * *

**September 13th, 1976**

The Order meeting was interrupted by a sudden raid. None of their spies or informants had warned them of it, suggesting that it was either sudden or had been kept very secret. Everyone at the meeting was recruited to join the battle since it was an entire neighborhood being attacked rather than a smaller area. 

Alexia rushed through the castle. Fabian hadn’t been at the meeting since it was in the middle of the day, so she was forced to hurry down the two flights of stairs to his classroom. When she threw the door open, she got the attention of everyone in the room, which was a class of seventh year Slytherins and Ravenclaws. Ignoring her friends - and Dolohov - she caught Fabian’s eye and pointed at her wrist, which he knew held an Order mark. 

“Shit,” Fabian cursed, dropping his book. “Class is dismissed.”

Without another word to his students, Fabian rushed into his office to grab his wand. Alexia followed him inside and closed the door behind herself. “Floo to Hogsmeade. It’s a muggle neighborhood.” 

Cursing again, Fabian did as she said. Once they both arrived in the Hog’s Head, she grabbed his arm and immediately Apparated to the neighborhood. It was horrible. Houses were on fire, muggles were being tortured in the street, and there were Order members and Death Eaters fighting all over the place.

It was only once they were actually there that Alexia recognized the place. They were in Spinner’s End. She felt sick looking down the row of houses. “Fabian! Severus and Lily live here!” 

“Which one is Snape’s?” he asked her, leaning in close to hear while she pricked her finger to shield them. She pointed at the house that Lily had told her belonged to her friend. 

“I’m going for Lily’s parents,” she told him. “Be careful.” 

“You too.” 

He ran off as she Apparated directly into Lily’s home. Inside were four Death Eaters. Two were going around setting the place on fire while two others were… torturing Lily’s parents. 

With her shield still up, Alexia sped over to engage the masked people torturing her friend’s parents. They turned their attention on her quickly and she didn’t waste time killing them. She had no patience for them, especially not with the other two that she could barely hold off with the shield behind her. She spun around and began dueling the next two. They seemed more talented and she found it difficult to fight them both at the same time. 

One of them shifted slowly and tried walking behind her, which meant they were able to hit her with  _ Sectumsempra _ . The pain had her screaming out and she dropped to the ground. With her shield above her now instead of around her, she wasted no time in using most of her energy to send Killing Curses at these two as well. 

Alexia was within reaching distance of Lily’s parents. She was going to bleed out if she didn’t hurry, she knew, and she had no clue how bad off they were. So, she reached out and grabbed them both tightly and Apparated them to St. Mungo’s.

* * *

“Stop- stop cursing at me!” Dorea heard a nurse shouting. “I’m trying to  _ help _ !” 

“I don’t need your help,” Alexia spat at the nurse. “I  _ need _ to go find my friend!” 

“Alexia,” Dorea said as she entered the room. Her daughter looked up at her with great relief. 

“Mum, thank god,” she breathed. “Can you please tell this unbearable woman that I need to go find Lily?” 

“How is she?” Dorea asked the nurse, who looked like she was just exhausted. 

“She had the counter-curse for whatever she was hit with,” the nurse told her. “She will be fine, but she lost a lot of blood and should be kept under observation for a few days.”

“And that’s fine, but I need to find Lily,” Alexia inisted. “I mean it, Mum, let me handle this and I’ll let you keep me in bed for a week.”

“Is she in danger of dying if she leaves for a few hours?” 

“Well, no, but-,”

“Go on,” Dorea nodded at her daughter. “But if you’re not back in three hours-,”

“I will be,” Alexia assured her, pushing the blanket off of her. She didn’t even seem to notice the blood on her as she immediately Apparated away. 

The walk to the castle was a long one. Classes were just getting out and it meant that Lily would be somewhere walking around, probably with James. Alexia thought she remembered them mentioning watching Slytherin practice after class, so she quickly made her way down to the Quidditch pitch.

“Hermione!” 

She glanced up to find Dolohov staring at her with a dark frown. “ _ Have you seen Lily? _ ” 

“ _ Watching us _ ,” he offered, looking her over quietly. He didn’t seem to wonder where the blood came from and she absolutely did not have the energy to think about  _ that _ . She nodded absently and walked off to the stands where she did, in fact, find her brother sitting with her friend. They didn’t spot her until she came to stand next to them. 

“Lily,” she said softly, her breath catching now that she was there.

“Lexi,” Lily gasped, jumping to her feet. “Oh my god!” 

“What happened?” James‘s eyes widened in horror. He could see that she was fine, but he also knew she felt numb and horrified and maybe a bit guilty. “Shit, what happened?” 

“It was a raid,” she told Lily, stepping past James to take Lily’s hands in her own. “I didn’t know where we were going until we got there. I told Fabian to go after someone else but… I wasn’t enough, Lils. I didn’t get there in time. I’m so sorry.” 

Lily didn’t have to ask. She’d been terrified for her parents’ safety for some time and the sick feeling in her gut when she’d seen Alexia had only worsened the more she’d spoken. 

“What happened?” James asked again as Alexia pulled Lily into a hug and Lily broke out into tears. “Lex, what happened?” 

“Her parents,” she told her brother quietly. “I tried to save them, but… it had been too long. Her parents died.” 

* * *

Fabian and Gideon knocked on the door together. When it swung open, they caught sight of the younger pair of twins sitting together on the bed in the middle of the room. They walked around either side of the bed and sat down. 

“I’m glad you guys are okay,” Alexia commented after looking them over. “I didn’t get the chance to check up on you before I came back here.” 

“You’re the only Order member that got hurt badly,” Gideon told her, grabbing one of her hands. “Charlus came to the meeting an hour ago to let us know you’re okay.”

“It was just  _ Sectumsempra _ ,” she told them with a small shrug, earning an incredulous glance from her brother. 

“You were covered in blood, Ash! That’s a bit more concerning than you make it sound.” 

“How’d the rest of the raid go?” she questioned, ignoring James. “Were any other muggles hurt badly?” 

“One old woman’s heart gave out,” Fabian nodded. “Aside from her, they’re fine.” 

“Good.” 

“Lily’s parents didn’t make it?” 

James shook his head for Alexia. “Mum took Lily to tell her sister.”

“She shouldn’t stay with Petunia,” Alexia muttered quietly. “She needs to stay with us.” 

“You can talk about that later,” Gideon suggested. “Not yet.” 

“None of those discussions yet,” Fabian agreed. “You need to rest, Pip.” 

“I’m fine,” Alexia rolled her eyes. “I just need to stay in bed for a day or two.”

“Which would suggest you’re not okay,” James bumped her shoulder. “You shouldn’t even be sitting up like this. Mum would lose it on you.” 

“Well Mum isn’t here, is she?” she pointed out, screwing up her face at him. 

“Nope, but we are,” Gideon told her. The twins each put a hand on her shoulders and gently pushed her back until she was lying down again. “We have to go. We promised we’d let the Order know how you’re doing.”

“I’ll come back before and after classes tomorrow,” Fabian promised, giving her a quick kiss on her forehead. “Feel better, Pip.”

* * *

**September 19th, 1976**

Between skipping classes, being in the hospital, and being so busy, it was a long time before Alexia actually made it to her first potions class of the year. 

Which meant that she was extremely surprised to find her boyfriend sitting with Severus. 

She made her way over and raised an eyebrow at them. “Why have neither of you mentioned you’d be here?” 

“Honestly?” Severus glanced at her with a small laugh. “We wanted to see how long it would take you.”

“I knew it wouldn’t be more than a month,” Regulus assured her, waving her to sit down with him. “Finally get time away?” 

“Mm,” she sighed, grabbing her books. “Alphard wants me to stop fighting as much. He’s still concerned for me.” 

“Why?” Severus wondered without looking at her. 

“My core is just fluctuating,” she answered carefully. “And he thinks expending this energy in these fights is making it more difficult for it to come to rest again.” 

“So you’re forced to come to class,” Regulus laughed. “At least you’ve got my help if you have issues this year.” 

“She has improved greatly,” Severus told his friend. “Whoever taught her before was horribly lazy.” 

Alexia snorted and looked down so he wouldn’t see her laughing. “I actually had issues in my first sixth year. I think it was the books honestly. Or the new teacher we had.”

“How’s Lily?” 

The question surprised both Alexia and Regulus. They looked up to find Severus staring at Alexia, expecting an answer. 

“She’s… coping,” she said slowly. “She’s going to come stay with us. Mum wants to take care of her. She’s just… really, really angry and sad.”

“I didn’t hear about the raid until the next day,” Severus admitted to her, whispering now that Slughorn began setting instructions for the class. 

“I didn’t know until Lexi showed up on the Quidditch pitch covered in blood,” Regulus told his friend. Alexia rolled her eyes at him. 

“I blame my Mum. She didn’t bother telling me to change clothes before I went to find Lily.” 

“Potter,” Slughorn said, startling the three of them. “Tell me what adding two dragons scales does to a Noxious potion.” 

“It’s the activating ingredient,” she told him easily. “When you put them in, it binds the potion together and creates a toxic green cloud.” 

“Very good,” he nodded at her. “Pay attention, please.” 

* * *

**October 3rd, 1976**

Pollux levitated another pile of essays to the other side of the table and set them down on top of the sleeping girl, chuckling as she jumped awake and the papers scattered over the table and onto the floor. 

“Not more,” Alexia complained, waving her hand at them to gather them on the desk again. “Stop giving your students essays, Pollux. I’m about to pull half of them aside and offer to tutor them. They need serious help.” 

“You don’t have the time to tutor them,” he reminded her. “You don’t have time to be here, either. What are you doing?” 

“Sleeping,” she screwed up her face and grabbed an essay to set to work. “Or I was.”

“Have you considered sleeping at night like a normal person?” 

“Hypocrite,” she scoffed, eyeing him. He had no place lecturing her about being a normal person. “I haven’t been sleeping because Lily hasn’t been sleeping. She’s having nightmares and mine are getting worse so we’ve been staying up together in the Room of Requirement.”

“How’d you stop your nightmares before?” he wondered. “I’ve got a spell that would work. Might give you a tumor, but we can remove that.” 

“ _ Pollux _ ,” Alexia laughed, shaking her head. “I don’t want a tumor, thanks.”

Pollux grinned at her and set his quill down on the desk again. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. “Well, let’s take a break. What’s been on your mind?” 

“I have to steal a time turner, for one.”

“Let’s go!” 

“What? No, I’ve got Transfiguration in ten minutes.” 

“It’s a good thing you know it all then, isn’t it?” he laughed. “Come on. You can’t do it alone.”

Alexia shook her head at him and set her quill down. “You know, you probably shouldn’t aid your niece and student in stealing from the ministry.” 

“I can aid whoever I want in whatever I want,” he scoffed, jumping to his feet. “Let’s go!” 

* * *

Their plan did not go as well as they’d hoped. 

They’d gotten as far as the time room before they were caught. In fact, Pollux was holding onto Alexia as she dove into the giant container of time turners so that she wouldn’t fall in when three guards stormed into the room with their wands raised. Pollux had, of course, immediately dropped Alexia into the container.

After fishing her out and fifteen minutes of arguing with the guards, one finally left to get Alphard. When he entered the office, both Pollux and Alexia were fully tied up and being glared at by the other guards still with them. He just sighed. 

“They’re fine,” he assured them. 

“Sir, they broke into the time room,” the guard closest to Alexia said before nodding at her. “This one was dropped into the time turners.”

Alphard’s eyes snapped to Alexia, who gave him a sheepish smile. 

“Pollux dropped me. I needed to be in there, though.”

With an exasperated sigh, Alphard nodded at the guards again. “As I said, they’re fine. I’ll take care of them from here.” Without untying either of them, the guards exited the room, completely confused. Alphard looked between them, shaking his head. “Why the  _ hell _ do you need to break into the time room?”

“Because I need a time turner,” she answered as if it were obvious. “Pollux was the one that convinced me to do it today. Yell at him.”

“I’m going to,” Alphard assured her, his gaze shifting to his father. “You  _ cannot _ aid Alexia in breaking into and stealing from the Ministry, Father! She will be arrested!” 

“Bah,” Pollux rolled his eyes. “She is fine.” 

Alexia pointed her awkwardly crushed hand up at her ropes and released them. She rubbed at her newly bruises arms and shoulders as she got to her feet. “And I still need it.” 

“ _ Why _ ?” Alphard asked her again. “You don’t need it to get back to the future. What possible use could it be?” 

“It’s a long story,” she shook her head at him. “I found a way to save James but I need a time turner for it.” 

“Alexia, from what you’ve said, James has to-,”

“He doesn’t,” she snapped, silencing him. After taking a couple of deep breaths, she spoke again. “Mia saved him. She used this to save him, Fabian and Gideon, Avery, herself, and Fred. She gave me the spells I need and how she managed it without killing herself or anyone else.” 

“But she is a Legendary,” Alphard reminded her as gently as he could despite being so frustrated. “She is extremely powerful.” 

“So am I!” Alexia snapped again, her hair beginning to spark. “I can save him, Alphard. No one can stop me from trying.” 

Alphard took in a deep breath, watching her look of determination and anger. It was hard to deny that no one would stop her. He had no doubt that even if he did, she’d sneak back in alone and get a time turner then. “Fine. We will find one with the runes to help protect you. I will not help you with this, Alexia. I think it is a very bad idea.” 

“I will!” Pollux exclaimed as Alexia released his ropes. 

“You will not,” Alphard leveled his gaze at the old man. “The family magic will not let you stand by while she does something so dangerous. It will stop the both of you.”

“Mia said Fabian helped her,” Alexia offered. “I’ll ask him.” 

“Come,” Alphard requested, waving at the door. “We will get it now.” 

* * *

**October 4th, 1976**

Alexia laid back on the blanket beneath her as she rotated the time turner in her hands. She hadn’t spoken with anyone since getting back to the castle the day before. There had been another Order meeting to go to and after that, she’d had a double detention from Flitwick and McGonagall. 

The time turner they’d taken had five runes around the base of the bottom and the top each for protection and safety. There were, according to Alphard, only three of the kind. He told her that it was unlikely that anyone would notice it was missing, but that she needed to be careful still. 

“Where did you get  _ that _ ?” 

Her eyes drifted up to the four Slytherins coming to sit with her. “Time turner. Alphard helped me get it yesterday.” 

“I believe he was talking about the bruises,” Severus told her with a sigh as Regulus dropped to his knees. His fingers ghosted over the bruises on her bare arms and he pulled away when she winced at the light touch. 

“What did you do now?” Narcissa sighed, eyeing them. “Those are dark.” 

“Ropes,” Lucius commented softly. “What did you do, Alexia?” 

“It was stupid,” she made a face and dropped the time turner into her lap. Severus plucked it up to look it over curiously. “Pollux and I sort of broke in to steal it and we got caught. They left us tied up forever before they bothered to get Alphard.”

“Lexi,” Regulus muttered quietly, frowning at the bruises. “Can you be careful for more than five days?”

“Have you tried bruise paste?” Narcissa wondered.

“Bruises stay for a very long time with her,” Lucius said before Alexia could. It surprised both of them for a moment and only Severus broke the somewhat awkward moment that had fallen over his four friends as they all remembered a hickey she’d been given by the older boy.

“What could you possibly need this for, Alex?”

“I can’t talk about it,” she said, tearing her gaze away from Lucius. “It’s sort of hard to explain. It’s got to do with the war.”

“Speaking of,” Regulus sighed. “Remus’s father angered Greyback again.” 

“Shit,” she cursed softly. “Is he in danger?”

“He has been since he attacked werewolves twelve years ago,” Narcissa shook her head sadly. 

“Greyback has requested permission to kill them,” Lucius nodded. “I believe the Dark Lord will approve.” 

“I should tell him,” Alexia muttered, dropping her head onto Regulus’s knee. “How are you guys holding up? Have you been to any raids since summer?” 

“No,” Severus answered, narrowing his eyes at her. “But you did scar me.” 

Alexia’s eyes widened dramatically. “ _ What _ ?” 

He raised his arm and despite the fact that he was only trying to raise his sleeve, she found herself flinching and gaining looks of concern. “Alex?”

“Sorry,” she frowned at herself. “Sorry, I don’t- I scarred you?” 

He raised his sleeve slowly, eyeing her the entire time. When she finally caught sight of the deep, long scar running from his elbow to the middle of his hand, she gasped and grabbed it to look closer. 

“How did I do that?” 

“A spell I’ve never seen before,” he told her. “It was hot and solid. It hit me and then slammed into the ground and disappeared.”

“ _ Calor _ ,” Alexia nodded, poking the scar. “Sorry. I know it’s nasty.”

“Can I ask why you fight knowing you may be cursing your friends?” Narcissa wondered quietly. Alexia thought over the question for a moment. 

“I love them and I don’t want them to be hurt, but… I also don’t want people like Lily’s parents to be hurt. In my mind, there’s no choice.”

“You should keep that out of sight,” Severus told Alexia when she grabbed the time turner back from him. “I’m sure there are too many that would love to get their hands on it.”

Alexia dropped it carefully into her bag. “Yeah. I’m terrified at the thought of what Voldemort would do with it.”

“So am I,” Lucius agreed, eyeing her bag. “Be careful.”

* * *


	33. Figure It Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't break into morgues, kids.

**Chapter Thirty-Three**

_ You got one time to figure it out _

_ One time to twist and one time to shout _

_ One time to think and I say we start now _

**October 6th, 1976**

Marlene stepped into the common room that night with Lily by her side. Their plan had been to do their homework in the common room together, but it was once more occupied by the Marauders, who all seemed to be frustrated by whatever they were working on. 

“It’s fine,” Lily sighed. “We’ll just go to my dorm.” 

“Hey, McKinnon!” Sirius called when he spotted her. His friends all glanced up, no doubt expecting her to curse him again. He jumped to his feet from his place lying on the floor and walked over. “Hey, can we have a minute?” 

Marlene eyed him. “It’s fine, Lils. I’ll be up in a minute.”

“Don’t make Remus give you detention,” Lily sighed before stepping away. Sirius grabbed Marlene’s arm gently and guided her away from the others. 

“I wanted to… apologize,” he told her softly. “For how I’ve been acting."

“Like a fucking asshole?” 

“I was gonna say a prat, but I guess,” he laughed. “I want to ask you out again, for a real date this time, but there’s something I need to be very upfront with you about.” 

“What?” she frowned, confused. She thought he was supposed to be good at asking girls out. He certainly had been before. 

“Lexi and I accidentally found a soul bond,” he admitted. “In second year. Over summer, someone got it through to me that I need to get over myself and go after someone I actually like that likes me back.”

Marlene’s eyes slid to her friend, who was lying with her head in Remus’s lap and throwing a piece of balled up parchment at her brother. “Lexi said you… might have a thing for her.” 

“I don’t think I do exactly,” Sirius frowned, mostly to himself. “It’s just different for us. I grew up hearing that bonds are sacred and to be respected no matter what, and Lexi… is dating my brother.” 

Marlene, despite the delicate situation, let out a small laugh. “I guess your soulmate dating your brother is good enough karma for treating me like shit.” 

“Not literally hexing me?”

“Nah.” 

“I really do like you, Marls. I have for a while. This is just complicated, you know?” 

Marlene sighed softly. “You’re lucky you’re so pretty, Black.” 

“Is that a yes?” he asked hopefully, his eyes lighting up excitedly. 

“Yes, but this is the last time. You fuck up and we aren’t going out again.” 

“Yes!” Sirius grinned. “Wanna sneak out of the castle this weekend?” 

“I’d fucking love to, Black.” 

* * *

Fabian ducked as the fire bloomed around her. His wand was doing very little to keep it back and he thought it was similar to Fiendfyre. That thought had him calling for Pollux for help. It was five minutes later when Pollux sped into the room. He took over controlling the fire and soon it was out, leaving an angry Alexia standing in the middle. 

In hindsight, they probably should’ve considered the fact that if the spell caused heightened emotions, Alexia might have an episode. They did not, however, think of that and it led to her falling flat on the ground as soon as the fire dissipated. 

By the time she woke up, Fabian had adjusted her against him carefully. She glanced at him in confusion and he worried for her. The last episode had been near permanent. Would this one be that bad, too?

“I don’t… where am I?” she asked, glancing around. Her eyes settled on the desks pushed to the side of the room and she shot up in fear and reached around for her wand. “I can’t be at Hogwarts!” 

“Hey, Pip, it’s fine,” Fabian told her, offering her his own wand. She gripped onto it like it was the only thing keeping her alive as she attempted to take in the situation. 

“I don’t… understand. The castle is- how did I get here? Where are Ron and Harry?”

“Here,” Pollux grunted, shoving a calming draught into her hand along with her potion she took after episodes. 

“Those’ll help you remember,” Fabian told her when she stared at them like they’d attack her. “Please take them. You’re safe. Everyone is safe.” 

“What are they?” she asked suspiciously, opening one to look at it. “That looks like a calming draught.”

“It is,” Pollux told her. “Take it or you won’t remember anything."

“Here,” Fabian said, taking both potions. He put a drop of each on his tongue and she watched him closely to make sure he wouldn’t explode. Finally, she took both. It took a long minute before she passed out again and when she woke up, she cursed loudly. 

“This spell is like a Horcrux on steroids,” she muttered, pulling herself to her feet. “And it didn’t even work.” 

“Pip, I don’t think this is  _ safe _ ,” Fabian told her gently. “I’m not sure you should do this.”

“I have to!” she exclaimed, whipping around to look at him in horror. “He’s my  _ brother _ , Fab. You’d do the same for Gideon.” 

Fabian tilted his back with a sigh. She was right, he knew. “Did she say anything about how she controlled the reaction?” 

Alexia’s eyes drifted to Pollux. “She said Regulus being there helped her a lot.” 

“Then we’ll only work on this when he can come,” he insisted. 

“Fine,” she sighed. 

“C’mon, kid,” Pollux said, waving at the door. “You’d better go see my son. He wanted to know about your episodes, yeah?” 

Alexia glanced at Fabian and, before following Pollux, stepped forward to hug him tightly. “Thank you.” 

Fabian rubbed her back. “Try not to explode into Fiendfyre again, yeah?” 

“I’ll do my best.”

* * *

**October 31st, 1976**

The news came in the middle of dinner, one that Peter happened to be missing for. 

The Order had gotten Lyall and Hope Lupin into protective custody the day that news had come about the incoming attack from Greyback, of course. The issue was that no one  _ really _ knew how to protect someone from a werewolf that had spent two decades tracking people. Greyback was the best at what he did. 

So Greyback and a few Death Eaters found the Lupins and killed them early that Halloween morning. 

“I have to go- what do I do? I have to see them,” Remus said in a sort of manic state. His friends quickly rushed him out of the hall, but he refused to go to Gryffindor with them. “I have to do something!” 

“I know, Moony,” James agreed softly. “We’ll go see them.” 

“He can’t.”

Everyone turned to stare at a very pale Alexia. 

“The fuck are you talking about?” Sirius snapped at her angrily. “Of course, he can!” 

“He can’t,” she insisted, feeling sick. “They’ll be at St. Mungo’s and… a new law was passed last week. He can’t go into St. Mungo’s.” 

“He has to see his parents, Lex!” James exclaimed angrily, glancing between his sister and his friend. “We’ll hex them all if we have to, he’s going to see them!” 

“I never said he wouldn’t,” she promised. “I just mean… we have to be careful. Sneak him in under the Cloak.” 

“I’ve got it,” James realized, reaching into his backpack for the cloak in question. “What do we do? Just… floo over there?” 

“No,” she shook her head. “We’ll go to Hogsmeade and I’ll Apparate us there. It won’t bother the cloak.”

“Are they… really gone?” Remus asked in a whisper, gaining their attention. “My parents are just… gone?” 

“Like Lily’s,” Sirius muttered, glaring at the floor. “This is all fucked.” 

“Let’s go,” James sighed, covering the three boys with the cloak. They were too big for even that, truthfully, and their ankles had to be disillusioned. Alexia was known to come and go as she pleased, so she wasn’t likely to be stopped by anyone. 

Once they were in Hogsmeade, Alexia took James and Sirius over first and then Remus. The hospital was busy as always, and the woman at the desk looked more than exhausted when she greeted Alexia. It was the same woman that the girl had harassed after the raid on Spinner’s End, and Alexia winced at the sight.

“What do you need, Potter?”

“Can I first apologize for hexing you?”

“I’d be a lot angrier if any of them had actually hit me,” the nurse admitted. “We’re busy.” 

“Right, sorry. Alphard Black sent me over to take a look at the bodies of Hope and Lyall Lupin.” 

“Why would Black need-,”

“I can’t say. Official Department of Mysteries business, you understand.” 

With an annoyed eye roll, the nurse waved her wand at Alexia. Alexia immediately put up a shield and only realized what she’d done when Sirius, who was back under the cloak with the other boys, nudged her. She dropped it sheepishly. “Sorry. I did almost die, so I feel like I’ve got reason to be nervous."

The nurse, uncaring, waved her wand again. That time, a small, glowing yellow badge lit up on Alexia’s robes. “That’ll let you into the elevators. They’ll be in the basement. Take the second left and your third right and you’ll find the morgue.” 

With a nod and one more apologetic smile, Alexia led her friends slowly over to the elevators. It took them a bit to find an empty one and get all the way to the basement. It was immediately much colder than the rest of the hospital. The halls were a bit of a maze, but after about ten minutes, they reached the morgue. Unfortunately, there was someone in there actively looking at their bodies. Waving at her friends to stay back, Alexia slipped inside.

“Hello!” 

The woman dropped her wand in surprise and straightened. “Merlin, you startled me.” 

“Sorry. I’m with Alphard Black in the DOM and I need a few minutes to look at these bodies if you don’t mind.” 

“Oh, sure,” the woman nodded, waving her wand to cast a stasis spell. “I’m Jessica Miles.” 

“Alexia Potter,” she introduced quietly, glancing over the bodies. “How were they killed? What happened to them exactly?” 

“Their deaths seem somewhat consistent with other bodies we’ve been getting,” Jessica began, waving her wand at their chests to light them up. “That is the magical trace of a Killing Curse. It’s how I’ve been told Death Eaters gain their marks.” 

Alexia’s breath caught. “Shit. Did anything else happen to them?"

Jessica nodded. She’d already begun an autopsy, meaning she’d cut them open. When she waved Lyall’s chest closed, Alexia could see claw and bite marks all over him. “Nasty, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Alexia muttered, thinking back to Greyback’s attacks during the final battle. “Can I have a couple of minutes alone with them?” 

“Sure,” Jessica smiled. She grabbed her wand and walked through a door behind them. Once she was gone, Alexia pulled a blanket up to both of their necks and ran back to the hall to get the boys. She led them inside quietly. 

“How bad was it?” Remus asked in a whisper. “Were they- was it bad?” 

Alexia considered lying to him but decided against it. “It wasn’t pleasant, but their ultimate deaths came from Killing Curses. It was quick in the end.” 

“I’ve never seen him so… relaxed,” he whispered, mostly to himself. “He looks almost peaceful.” 

The doors slammed open suddenly. All of them turned around to find three guards running toward them with their wands out. Alexia was quick enough to use her dagger to draw some blood and put up a shield. She shoved them back through the door Jessica had gone through and ignored the poor woman as they ran through the office and out the side door that led into the hallway. 

When they reached the elevators, they refused to accept her badge and so they were forced to use the stairs. The guards were close behind and shooting spells and curses at them, which Alexia’s shield guarded them from. 

It was an exhausting five flights of stairs before they reached the main floor. They were still running fast and gaining the attention of the people around them when Remus tripped and fell. James was the one to run back and help him up and while Remus got to his feet and ran again, James was too slow. Alexia let out a shout and ran to help him, but unfortunately, it left her much too open to attack and she found herself thrown to the ground in tight ropes.

* * *

“Name?” 

“Don’t answer him,” Alexia snapped at Remus, causing him to shut his mouth abruptly. 

Another guard raised his wand at Alexia’s throat. “Interrupt once more-,”

“And you’ll have the Potter and Black patriarchs ready to destroy you for hurting me,” she shot back. “This is fucking stupid.” 

“You aren’t here with Alphard Black,” the blonde guard told her with a raised eyebrow. “Your name raised a flag in our system. You’re sixteen.”

“Does it help anything that I’m the Black heir? I could probably bribe all of you to let us go,” Sirius suggested, earning himself a few glares. “Fine, next time I won’t try to help.” 

“So why did you want to break into the morgue? Nothin’ but bodies down there. What use could they be to you?” 

“I’m bored,” Alexia complained to James, just to annoy the guards. “We missed dinner.” 

There was a knock on the door and after exchanging a glance, the guards left together and shut and locked the door. 

“I’m going to be arrested,” Remus worried immediately. “Or killed. Arrested and killed.” 

“You won’t be,” James told him as calmly as possible. “We’ll figure it out, Moony.” 

“Lexi needs to come up with better excuses,” Sirius pointed out. “I say this is her fault.” 

“I say you should shut up.” 

The door opened again and, much to their relief, Alphard walked in. Unfortunately, he looked  _ pissed _ . He looked pissed at no one more than Alexia, who was shifting uncomfortably in her ropes. 

“ _ What did I tell you last time _ ?” 

She attempted a shrug. “Not to do it again.” 

Alphard glanced at the others and released their ropes. “Use the floo, go back to Hogwarts.” 

“Go to Pollux’s office,” Alexia suggested. “He won’t give you detention.” 

“What about Lexi?” Remus asked nervously. Alphard frowned at the girl in question. 

“We’re going to have a talk.

“Shit,” Sirius muttered, shoving his friends toward the floo. “I’ve never seen him so pissed before. Let’s go.”

Once her friends had abandoned her, Alphard released Alexia’s ropes as well and paced in front of her as she rubbed at her arms. 

“Remus’s parents died,” she told him softly. “He’s not allowed here anymore, Alphard. He just wanted to see his parents.” 

“I could have helped you!” he told her, throwing his arms up. “You think you can do everything alone until you get caught. There’s only so much I can do, Alexia.” 

“You’re a senior Unspeakable,” she shot back. “You can do just about anything and you know it.” 

“I cannot excuse your reckless actions without reason,” he shook his head. “Croaker knows you’re involved in some case or another. The issue is ensuring he doesn’t know  _ what _ you’re involved in. You make keeping him out of this much harder when you keep getting arrested. You just need to ask me for help.”

“I don’t want to bother you all the time,” she made a face at him. “You’re busy.”

“Yes, with  _ you _ ,” he told her with a look of exhaustion. “Croaker knows that you will take up a great deal of my time while you are here.” 

“While I’m here?” Alexia frowned at him. “What do you mean?” 

“To be assigned permanently to your case and be available to you, I had to tell Croaker that there is someone who has traveled over twenty years to the past. He agreed to allow me to handle it until you leave in 1979, at which point your file will be released.” 

“So… in 1979, everyone will know I’m from the future?” 

“Not everyone,” he shook his head. “Only those in the DOM and in the time room specifically. Your case may help with our research on time travel.” 

“So you’re saying I should come to you if I need something?”

“Yes, you should. I’m also telling you that if you get arrested again, I  _ will _ let them leave you there for a few days.” 

* * *

**November 2nd, 1976**

Alexia was the one to find Peter. 

None of them had seen him since before Halloween and he’d sent them all an owl claiming he’d gone to visit his sick father. It had been easily accepted and brushed off with everything that was going on. 

Despite the spells, charms, potions, and meditation, Alexia still wasn’t sleeping well. Lily had gotten better as soon as she’d begun taking a potion that stopped dreams, which meant that Alexia was alone again during nights she couldn’t sleep. It also meant that, like in first year, she found herself sneaking up to the boys’ dorms during the day to get some rest while they were in class.

That was exactly what she was doing when she ran into Peter. Unfortunately for her, he was just getting out of the shower when she stepped into the room. Since there was no one else in the room, he’d forgone putting his clothes on in the bathroom and walked out completely naked just as she closed the door behind her and turned around.

The first thing she did was scream in horror and cover her eyes. 

While Peter cursed loudly and ran back in the bathroom, what she’d seen processed. Well, some of it. The rest, she wanted to block out of her mind for the rest of her life. What she’d seen was on his arm, and it was irritated like a healing injury. It was  _ new _ . 

That was how she found herself blowing the door open with a powerful  _ Bombarda _ . She stepped into the bathroom and barely registered as he fumbled for his towel. She grabbed his arm and pressed her thumb down on the raw Dark Mark. 

“Fuck!” he shouted, tugging his arm away from her. “Merlin, Lexi!” 

“You did it,” she said, her voice low and her dagger now out and pointed at his neck. “ _ You fucking killed Remus’s parents _ .” 

“Lexi-,”

“No!” she snapped, pushing the dagger harder against his neck. “He’s one of your best friends, Peter! You made him an orphan!” 

“He’s got you guys,” Peter tried to reason. “Your parents will take him in!” 

“Of course they will! But that doesn’t mean he should be a fucking orphan, Peter!” 

“I had no choice-,”

“You did,” she snarled, her eyes flashing angrily. “That’s always been your problem, you know? You  _ always _ have a choice. You just refuse to choose anything that isn’t  _ easy _ . Look me in the eyes, okay? I can promise you that this path you’ve chosen will lead to a miserable, hate filled life. It will fucking kill you.” 

“Why don’t you say that to Snivellus?” he asked with a glare, returning the anger. “Or your boyfriend? Or Malfoy?” 

“They know what they’ve gotten themselves into and  _ why _ ,” she replied, resisting the urge to just kill him. It would be so much easier than trying to mess with the sands of time… but she couldn’t and it killed her. “You, Peter, you don’t. You don’t know what they’ll do to you, how many people you’ll torture and kill. Could you kill Lily?”

“No, of course not!” 

“Well someday, you might,” she snapped loudly, fury filling her at the thought that he  _ had _ gotten her killed. “And it’s not because you didn’t have a choice. It’s because you’re not  _ brave _ . You don’t belong in Gryffindor. You’re a disgrace.” 

“The Sorting Hat put me here-,” 

“Because you asked it to,” she interrupted, earning a startled glare. “It put me here because I asked it to as well. Truthfully, you don’t belong in any House. You don’t belong in  _ Hogwarts _ .” 

“What are you going to do?” he asked, sounding nervous and angry at the same time. “Turn me in?” 

It took all of the restraint she had to keep from saying yes. Instead, Alexia pulled her arm down stiffly and took a step back from him. “No. I’m going to leave. You’re going to get dressed, find Remus, and tell him how sorry you are for the loss of his parents. You’re going to be a good fucking friend to him."

“You aren’t going to… tell them?” 

Alexia’s grip on her dagger was so tight that it hurt her hand. She desperately wanted to attack him, but she couldn’t. “No. I’m going to go find someone to calm me down and we’re going to pretend like this didn’t happen. But I’m watching you. The second you hurt any of them again, I will kill you, Peter.”

“ _ Kill me _ ? Fucking- you can’t kill me, Alex.”

Alexia scoffed. “Why not?”

“Because you’re a Potter!” 

Alexia stepped forward and slashed her dagger across his shoulder and a bit of his chest. It wasn’t too deep, but deep enough that it would scar and hurt for a while. “I’m not afraid to hurt you, I’m not afraid to kill you, and you’d better believe that if I have to kill you, no one will knew it was me. So behave, Peter. Be the good friend you’ve pretended to be for the past six years.” 

And then she turned and walked out of the room and down the stairs. Since class was in, she wasn’t entirely sure where to go. She slipped out of the common room and was making her way toward the library when someone stopped her by grabbing her arm. She spun around with her hand up and he grabbed that as well. 

“ _ Planning to stab someone in there _ ?” 

Alexia breathed out in relief. He released both of her arms and she shook her head tiredly. “ _ If I’m going to stab anyone, I’d need to go back to Gryffindor _ .”

“ _ Speaking of _ ,” he waved at her hand, which she realized was still holding her dagger. The dagger itself had a bit of blood on it and she cringed and wiped the blood off on her pants quickly before putting it away. 

“ _ I suppose Madam Pince might not have let me in with a bloody dagger _ ,” she admitted, taking in a deep breath to calm herself. “ _ Perhaps the library isn’t the best place for me right now. _ ”

“ _ Would you like to duel _ ?” 

The question surprised her. She hadn’t dueled much since before she and Lucius had broken up, which she figured wasn’t their best idea. But she did miss it and she did trust Dolohov to not try to kill her, so… “ _ I suppose. I know just the place _ .”

* * *

**November 3rd, 1976**

A triple date was, in retrospect, probably not the best idea. 

It had begun with Lily accidentally planning to go to Hogsmeade with both James and Marlene. Sirius also wanted to go with Marlene, so they’d decided they’d just have a double date. And then Alexia had made the mistake of walking by while the two couples were discussing this and suddenly, she and Regulus were involved as well. Remus had been invited along with Mary, but neither were interested in partaking in what was sure to be a mess. Peter had already informed them that he’d be visiting his sick father again, so he wasn’t even available.

Instead of eating in Hogsmeade, Alexia and Sirius had Apparated everyone out of the village. Apparition lessons had begun at the beginning of the year, and while Alexia already knew, Sirius was the first in their year to ace it. 

They were all in the middle of muggle London at a café James had claimed he loved. It was quaint and generally nice. Their orders were quickly taken and their drinks came soon after that. It was around then that Marlene laughed at something and bumped into Sirius, brushing his sleeve up. Lily gasped, her hand coming to cover her mouth.

“Oh my god, what are  _ those _ ?”

Sirius glanced down and smirked. “Our sex life is none of your business.”

“Shut up, Black,” Marlene rolled her eyes. “I didn’t give you those.” 

“Well, it’s Lexi’s fault.” 

Everyone at the table, knowing the pair had a soul bond, looked between them in horror. Alexia glared at her friend. 

“We got arrested,” she clarified. “I didn’t tie him up.”

“You got  _ arrested _ ?” Lily asked in horror. “What happened?” 

“Yeah, and how’d you get out of it?” Marlene added. 

“We tried to sneak Remus into St. Mungo’s to see his parents and my excuse fell through,” she told them quietly. “Alphard had to bail us out again. Er, me. They haven’t been arrested before.”

“I thought you promised not to get hurt again for at least a month,” Regulus reminded her, pushing her sleeve up to look at her glamoured bruises. “You do bruise easy. These are bad.” 

“Yeah, it’s fine,” she waved them off. “Could be worse.” 

“You never did explain why he was so pissed at you,” James realized. “I didn’t know you’ve been arrested before, Lex.”

“Well, not…  _ arrested _ . I was just sort of caught breaking into and stealing from the Ministry. Alphard got me out of it.” 

“ _ What _ ?” Lily exclaimed in horror. 

“It was Pollux’s idea!” 

“I thought you knew he’s less than stable,” Sirius rolled his eyes. “There was one time when I was like five that he wanted to see how strong my accidental magic was, so he threw me into the bloody fireplace while it was lit.” 

“Neville’s grandmother did that,” Alexia remembered. “Or his great uncle. Is it  _ common _ to try and… force accidental magic?” 

“In our family?” Regulus raised an eyebrow at her. “Yes, of course.” 

“Not in the entire wizarding world,” Marlene shook her head. “I think they only do it in controlled areas once a kid is old enough to see if they’re going to be a squib or not.” 

“And then if they’re a squib, they throw them to muggles,” Lily sighed, looking irritated. 

“Or kill them,” Alexia added. Sirius and Regulus nodded along with her but everyone else looked at her in horror. “What?” 

“They  _ kill _ them?” 

“Dolohov told me that there’s no Dolohov squibs in the world because they kill all of them,” she shrugged. 

“When did he say that?” Regulus wondered with a frown. Alexia considered the question. 

“Last year, I think.”

“The Blacks tend to do it, too,” Sirius told them. “Father actually had a sister aside from Aunt Lucretia but when she had no accidental magic by the time she was five, they tried to force it out of her. When that didn’t work, they killed her.” 

“That’s  _ awful _ ,” Lily said, getting angry. “Lexi, why would Dolohov even tell you that? You could turn his family in! You should!” 

Alexia hesitated. “It’s a long story. I can’t turn him in, anyway, because I have no proof.”

“His family is horrible,” Marlene commented. “I heard a lot of them plan to move here during the war to help You-Know-Who.”

“They are?” Alexia asked, tensing. “Are you sure?” 

“Yeah, Mum was asked to sell them some property and she refused and got fired. Why?”

“Because Dolohov told me the Patriarch wanted to meet me and I’ve been avoiding him for obvious reasons. If he’s here…”

“We’ll be more careful,” Regulus told her, gaining her attention. “Two major Houses have more claim over you.”

“Only the Potters,” she disagreed. “The Dolohovs and Blacks are essentially on the same level according to Lucius.” 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” James asked, completely lost. “Lex, we’re not related to the Dolohovs.” 

“ _ You _ aren’t,” she disagreed, barely giving a thought to the fact that Marlene didn’t know she was adopted yet. “ _ I _ am. That’s why Dolohov stopped coming after me - the Patriarch paired us up in the event that the House needs…” 

“ _ Fuck _ ,” Sirius said loudly, gaining the attention of many muggles in the cafe.

“And you’re saying the Patriarch wants to see you?” Lily asked softly. “What do you think he wants?” 

“He likely wishes to gain her loyalty,” Regulus answered for her when she shrugged. “Or to place some very illegal loyalty charms on her. Possibly compulsion or an  _ Imperius _ .”

“And you still trust him?” Sirius asked her, confused. Alexia looked at her friends and brother before her eyes came to rest on Sirius. 

“This summer, he’s the reason I’m… here,” she answered slowly. Sirius’s eyes narrowed. 

“ _ Regulus _ is the reason you’re here,” he disagreed. “You owe Dolohov nothing but curses and-,” 

A Patronus of a raccoon sped into the cafe, much to their horror. Muggles stared at it in wonder as it spoke to Alexia. “Lexi, there’s a raid on London down Barkley in five minutes. I need you to get there and send your friends back to the castle. Might be a bad one.” 

As Gideon’s Patronus faded away, the witches and wizards all shot to their feet. It was Sirius who pointed out the obvious. 

“We’re down Barkley!” 

Alexia sucked in a deep breath and grabbed her daggers. “I know. You need to get everyone back to Hogwarts immediately. I’m going to work on evacuating.” 

“We’re not leaving,” Lily told her with a glare. “These people killed my parents, Alex! I’m staying to help.” 

“I’m not leaving you,” James told her with a look as if it was a ridiculous idea. 

“We’re staying,” Marlene agreed. 

“Get Regulus out,” Alexia snapped at Sirius after a moment of hesitation. Before her boyfriend could argue, she put her hand up. “You can’t fight with us, Reg.” 

Sirius grabbed Regulus’s arm and Apparated away. Grateful to have the argument cut short, the four remaining got to work evacuating the street to the best of their abilities. It required some  _ Confundus _ and a few  _ Imperius _ to get the more difficult people out, but by the time the five minutes were up and the Order had arrived - with numerous questions and arguments to the students - the street was nearly empty.

That didn’t mean there would be no fight, of course.

The Death Eaters got there around ten minutes after the Order did. There had been a lot of arguing and organizing, but when the nearly thirty Death Eaters got there, it was all useless. They had around fifteen Order members, plus the five students, which led to a bit of an uneven fight. 

If the Order expected the teenagers to be a hindrance, they were very wrong. 

Lily was  _ angry _ . She fought like she was desperate for revenge, which they supposed she probably was. Her curses weren’t gentle or hesitant - her curses were dangerous, sometimes deadly. She fought to protect the Order members around her, as well as her friends and her boyfriend. She fought for her parents, who she’d lost too early in the name of bigotry. She fought for the muggles that, had they not been there, would have lost their lives just as her parents had. 

Sirius fought like he’d been raised - to win. Sirius, in battle, became the Slytherin his mother longed for him to be. He was careful and calculating. His curses were sometimes dark, and almost always were able to pass through regular shields. He fought like he would die before switching sides because he knew he would. 

James was afraid more than anything. Three of the people he cared for most in the world were also there risking their lives. And he trusted his sister, for the most part, to take care of herself. He was afraid for Lily, who had never been forced to use her magic for true defense before. He was afraid for Sirius, who had been trying so hard to forget what was going on around them and he knew Sirius would be set off by the fight. 

Marlene was fighting because her date was interrupted. She was furious that these bigots had the gall to interrupt her first double - or triple - date with the boy she’d liked for two years. She was furious that they dared tried to curse Lily, who was the most kind and loving girl Marlene had ever met in her life. She was furious that the bigots felt they had the right to interrupt her life and the lives of others for their twisted agenda. So, she fought, and she fought well. 

Alexia was methodical. She was far too used to fights like the one they were in to be shaken. The Death Eaters fought the same, and she was fairly certain she’d dueled some of them before. The Order members were the same, too. She knew that Fabian and Gideon would be on completely opposite sides of the street and that the same would be true for Hestia Jones and her husband, Will. She was completely at ease with the battles raging around her. 

The five of them fought together. They were always near one another, and it wasn’t long before the Order noticed how they gravitated toward each other and watched each other’s backs. It was surprisingly efficient and, for never having worked together before, they made an incredible team. 

James, Sirius, and Marlene were focusing on a duo of Death Eaters that fought together, casting almost as if they already knew what the other would do. Lily was winning her fight against another Death Eater. If they could see his face, they would’ve seen his regret in dueling her. Alexia, however was fighting against someone that felt similar to her. 

And then, in what was either a completely purposeful move or a terrible coincidence,  _ Scalpere Eum _ hit her leg in the same spot that it had hit her two years earlier. 

“ _ Goddamn it, Lucius _ ,” she hissed in pain, more than sure it was him. “Do you just want to ensure I have a scar there forever? Because I just got rid of it.” 

He, of course, didn’t answer her. She didn’t expect him to and he knew that. The two kept lazily fighting for a while as she considered what to do. While they fought, he wouldn’t be forced to do anything horrible, which kept people safe. But at the same time, he kept her from keeping others safe from the others. Her dilemma led to her backing him into an alley slowly. Once there and out of sight, both stopped cursing. 

“I’m going to bleed out,” she complained dramatically as she took a moment to put a stasis charm on her injury, which wasn’t bleeding badly at all. “I have to stun you.” 

“You have to learn to hurt me,” he disagreed sharply. “I still am not unwilling to hurt you, am I?” 

“Hurt me now,” she instructed, nodding when he hesitated. “Don’t be an ass about it.” 

“Alexia-,” 

Footsteps nearing them led to her raising her arm and stunning him without hesitation. He dropped to the ground and she turned her focus to using blood from his curse to put up a blood shield. It was raised just in time to block a stunner thrown at her. “You gotta try harder than that.” 

“ _ If you are stunned, you will not be hurt again _ .”

Alexia scowled and glanced down at her leg. It was beginning to throb in pain and it frustrated her that she didn’t know how to heal it. “ _ Fuck off, Antonin. I’m not leaving the Order to be killed, nor am I leaving my friends. _ ”

“ _ There are few of us left _ ,” he informed her. “ _ We will leave soon. _ ”

“ _ I don’t need to be stunned, _ ” she muttered, poking her leg with her finger and wincing. “ _ What’s the counter for this? I never figured it out. _ ”

Glancing back to make sure no one was around, Dolohov stepped forward and waved at her shield. Once she hesitantly dropped it, he pointed his wand at her leg and began quietly healing it. It didn’t take too long and when he was finished, she grabbed her dagger tightly within her hand again. 

“ _ Are you going to try to stun me again? _ ”

“ _ I will see you at school, Hermione _ .”

Confident in her safety, Alexia spun around and began to run back to her friends. Just as she stepped out of the alley, however, a stunner hit her and she fell to the ground. 

* * *


	34. Sky Grey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Sirius Thing.

**Chapter Thirty-Four**

_ The bitter pill I swallow _

_ The scars souvenier  _

_ That tattoo, your last bruise _

_ This impossible year _

**November 3rd, 1976**

Pollux was, in Fabian’s mind, much too relaxed about the situation. 

At around five that afternoon, there had been a knock on his office door. By the time he’d gotten to it, there was a stunned Alexia on the floor - clearly placed there somewhat carefully - and no one else. Unaware that she’d been stunned and wasn’t sleeping, Pollux had levitated her onto his couch and left her there while he continued working. 

It was two hours later when a panicked Fabian ran into the room to inform him of her disappearance that Alexia was finally woken up. 

“Well, I thought she was just exhausted,” Pollux reasoned. “Poor girl hasn’t been sleeping!” 

“Fucking Dolohov,” Alexia muttered angrily as she adjusted her skirt. “Prat. I’m going to hex him. I have two Slytherins to hex now. I don’t have time for this.”

“Lexi,” Fabian said loudly, gathering her attention. “What  _ happened _ ? Dolohov did this?” 

“He healed my leg and told me if I was stunned, I wouldn’t be in danger anymore,” she screwed up her face in irritation. “I asked if he would stun me if I left and he just said he’d see me at Hogwarts. I  _ assumed _ he meant no, so I tried to walk away and-,”

“Ah,” Pollux nodded. “He never answered your question, kid. He could’ve killed you! Gryffindors are far too stupid and trusting.” 

“Hey, maybe we  _ don’t _ insult her while she’s so pissed,” Fabian suggested nervously. “So he stunned you and took you here?”

“Seems like it,” she shrugged, getting to her feet. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have two Slytherins to hex.” 

“Woah,” Fabian stepped in front of the door. “Your friends basically think you’re dead, Lexi. You gotta go see them.” 

“...fine.”

* * *

**November 29th, 1976**

The next time Fabian and Alexia worked on the time turner, Regulus was there. It went, to their shock, much better. Alexia cast the spell and Regulus stood behind her quietly while Fabian was a few feet in front of her. She’d bought a ring in case she managed to handle the spell by some miracle. 

Casting the spell still felt like a Horcrux feeding on her soul and magic, but it affected her less with Regulus there. She wasn’t sure why he helped her, if she were being honest, but rather just extremely grateful that he did. The Fiendfyre didn’t happen again, but she did set a desk on fire. 

“Okay!” Fabian called after putting the fire out. “I think we should stop there.” 

“I’m not done,” Alexia grit out, casting the spell again. It lifted the time turner in the air and opened it up. The trouble was attempting to get ahold of the sands of time without them latching onto her and killing her. It led to a battle for power that meant that she sometimes set things on fire. The sands never retaliated outwardly, only through manipulating her emotions. 

When she cast the spell again, she caught sight of one of the sands twitching in the container. It didn’t lift up or do much more beside twitch, but she saw it and so she cast the spell again excitedly. Unfortunately, getting excited was the wrong move. It latched onto the strong emotion and twisted it into a unique sort of fury that led to her screaming and lighting the chalkboard on fire. 

Regulus stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her while Fabian hurried to put out that fire, too. Alexia struggled against her boyfriend for a moment as she fought to calm down, but finally, she relaxed again and he managed to turn her around to hug her properly. 

“That was worse,” Fabian stated as if they didn’t already know. “What happened, Pip?” 

“It moved,” she answered slowly, still struggling to calm down completely. “It moved a bit and I got excited.”

“And fire,” Fabian nodded. “So… what, the goal is to stay as calm as possible the entire time? Why does it make you  _ emotional _ ?” 

“Accidental magic,” Regulus answered. He stroked her back gently, his slow movements doing wonders to calm her. “Does your accidental magic often result in a fire?” 

“It did for a while,” she confirmed. “On the run with the Horcrux. Fire, storms, crazy wind, things like that.” 

“Merlin, sounds like your accidental magic is elemental,” Fabian told her with a disbelieving shake of his head. “Have you practiced elemental magic before?” 

“No,” she frowned. “I wasn’t aware there was such a thing.”

“It’s not practiced anymore,” Regulus told her, glancing at Fabian curiously. “Because most people don’t have a talent for it and it can be dangerous if you’re not good enough.”

“Shown by your accidental Fiendfyre,” Fabian nodded along excitedly. “You should really look into it, Lexi.” 

“Maybe I can do that after a nap,” she decided, making her friend laugh. “Reg, will you-,”

“I’m going to take her to Gryffindor,” he told Fabian. 

“Alright. Thanks for helping. Smaller fires this time, just more of them.” 

* * *

**December 18th, 1976**

“So, Dorcas is coming, right?” 

Emmaline glanced up at Alexia, pausing with her lipstick in front of her mouth. “Um… yes, she is.” 

Alexia looked back at her friend. “What’s up, Em? I figured you’d be more excited. We haven’t seen her in months.” 

“I am,” Emmaline confirmed slowly. “But… Lexi…”

“What? Is something wrong?” 

“Dorcas is going to be my date.” 

Alexia blinked in surprise. She hadn’t actually spoken to Dorcas or Emmaline in the future. They’d run into each other once in a while in Grimmauld Place and they’d been at the final battle, of course, but she’d just assumed they were friends. And straight. She kicked herself for the habitual assumption. “You know I’m not straight, right? I don’t care. If anyone says anything, I’ll hex their hair off.” 

Emmaline let out a laugh and, relieved, began putting on her lipstick slowly. “We went on a few dates over the summer and I didn’t say anything because… I thought it was just like how she dated here, but she said she actually likes me, so I asked her to the ball.”

Alexia grinned at her friend. “I didn’t think any guy could get her to take dating seriously. I guess I was right.”

* * *

**December 19th, 1976**

“Sometimes I wish I could give your mother a heart attack.”

Regulus looked up from his book. “You are far from alone in that. What now?”

“I’m just thinking about what she does to Grimmauld Place. Her portrait. When we’re in 1998, I think I might burn her off the wall.” 

“She’s upset that she can’t be your date,” Narcissa clarified for Alexia. Regulus nodded in sudden understanding. 

“Mother thinks I take after Uncle Alphard,” he told Alexia. She knew Alphard was both asexual and aromantic, a fact that Arcturus had barely come to terms with. “So I don’t have to take anyone at all. That’s better than taking someone else, right?” 

“I’ve never tried to give someone a heart attack before,” Alexia said absently, tilting her head. “I bet I could manage it.”

“Father would be fine with us dating,” Regulus told her thoughtfully. “Perhaps if I told him-,”

“Or we could stick with not telling your parents,” Alexia quickly requested. “Look, I think I might be able to take Walburga but I don’t want to curse anyone at the ball.” 

“I’d say that would be best,” Narcissa agreed. 

“I haven’t done it yet,” Alexia said proudly. “Been cursed, but I haven’t cursed anyone back.” 

“Speaking of,” Regulus leaned back to look at his girlfriend. “I heard more of the Dolohov family will be attending.” 

“So maybe I  _ will _ curse someone, then.”

* * *

That Christmas break, James, Alexia, Lily, and Remus were all taken to Potter Manor by Dorea and Charlus. It was tough for Lily and Remus to be given permanent bedrooms that they would return to in the summer and however long they wanted to live there after that. 

“I know we’re not your parents,” Dorea told them as she led them down to the kitchen for tea with Charlus next to her. “But we love you both quite a bit and we’ll do whatever we can to keep you safe and as happy as possible. You’re our kids as much as James, Alexia, and Sirius.” 

“Thank you so much,” Lily smiled faintly. “You didn’t have to… help me. I could’ve gone to Petunia.” 

“Oh, not with how she treats you,” Dorea immediately denied. “You need love and compassion. She won’t give you that, so we will.” 

“Our hearts are plenty big, and so is our home,” Charlus agreed. “James and Alexia have incredible taste in friends, you know. Our home has been open to you for many years now.” 

“Thank you,” Remus said, struggling to hold back the tears. “Thank you.” 

“Of course,” Dorea smiled. “Now, drink your tea and get ready. I know you kids are tired, but we’re going shopping today for your robes for the ball.” 

* * *

**December 25th, 1976**

Everyone was exhausted. They’d been right to go shopping immediately as raids had begun the second day of their break. Only Dorea, Charlus, and Alexia actually went to fight, and everyone else was stuck behind to worry and wait for news. 

They’d expected a break for Christmas day, but they hadn’t gotten one. In the middle of lunch, a patronus from Moody ran into the room informing them of a double raid - one on Diagon Alley and one on muggle London. It had led to hours upon hours of fighting for the three of them and numerous injuries.

By the time they got back to Potter Manor, it was almost nine at night. Elves grabbed all three of them into the kitchen and began healing them up. The other kids rushed in as well to check on them, all taking stock of the various injuries. 

“We’re fine,” Charlus assured James quietly, putting his hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry we couldn’t get word to you earlier.” 

“There were a fuck ton of them,” Alexia muttered, hissing when an elf unexpectedly dropped dittany into a deep cut in her arm. “Shit.” 

“Language,” Dorea scolded lightly. “She is right. There are many more of them than we’re used to fighting.” 

An Antipodean Opaleye dragon patronus flew into the room and sat down in front of Alexia. To her surprise, it was Narcissa’s voice that she heard. 

“Bella went to visit Sirius. Apparently, he’s refusing to join once more. Something bad is happening.” 

“ _ Fuck _ ,” Alexia exclaimed, jumping to her feet. Her eyes were wide and filled with horror. She had been so busy all day that she’d  _ forgotten _ . She hadn’t even thought before parting ways to warn Sirius or Regulus about it. “Oh my god, I have to- he’s going to die!”

“Lexi, breathe,” Remus instructed quickly. “It’s okay. He’ll be okay. They won’t  _ kill _ him. He’s the Black heir.” 

She just looked at him in surprise. He was so naive. Of course, they would try to kill him. He wasn’t the heir they wanted, and if he wasn’t alive, they wouldn’t be stuck with him. “I have to go.” 

“Where are you going?” Charlus asked her with a frown. “You need to heal up.” 

“I  _ need _ to save Sirius,” she shot back before rushing out of the room. They didn’t get it, she knew, and they wouldn’t until they saw him. She stepped into the floo and threw down the powder, thankful for how quickly it took her to where she needed to go. She stepped out of the fireplace and into Alphard’s office, breathing quickly.

“Alexia,” he greeted in surprise. It took him a moment to notice her bloodstained clothes and injuries. “You were at the raids?” 

“Bellatrix and Walburga are trying to kill Sirius,” she told him, ignoring his words. “If someone doesn’t help him, they’ll do it.” 

“ _ What _ ?” 

She quickly cast her Patronus. “Cissa, how long ago did she leave? How long has she been with him?” 

“Narcissa told you?” Alphard asked her, getting to his feet. She nodded.

“And Sirius. He said they tried to kill him one Christmas when he refused to join Voldemort and I’ve been so busy fighting today that I completely forgot and-,”

“I understand. What are they doing, do you know?” 

The same dragon from earlier flew in again and came to a stop. “Two hours. I only just got away.” 

“Alphard, we have to help him!” 

“Okay, come on,” he said, holding out his hand. She felt better seeing her panic reflected on him and grabbed his hand. He Apparated them away and she grunted in pain when they landed in Black Manor outside of an office she didn’t recognize. She figured she hadn’t been to that part of the large manor yet. Alphard opened the door and led her inside where she caught sight of Arcturus. 

“I hope you have a good excuse for this,” Arcturus told him, still looking down at what he was writing. “I am busy.”

“My sister is currently attempting to murder your heir.” 

Arcturus glanced up at them over his glasses. “Eh?” 

“Narcissa sent me a Patronus,” Alexia told him impatiently. “She said Bellatrix went to go see Sirius about how he won’t join Voldemort and I have… other information that says they’re trying to kill him so Regulus can be heir.” 

“Mm,” Arcturus nodded, leaning back in his chair. “And you’d have me do what? Stop them?” 

“He’s your heir!” 

“Not a very obedient one, is he?” 

“A good Lord shouldn’t be,” Alexia snapped angrily. “Sirius does what he thinks is right, which is why he’s being tortured to death right now! If you don’t help him, I’ll go over there and kill both of them myself.” 

“Alexia,” Alphard said sharply, putting a hand on her arm. “Don’t forget he is the reason you’re protected at school.”

“I’d rather have Sirius alive than be protected,” she snarled angrily, staring at Arcturus. “So, what’ll it be? Are you going to help him or sit back and let me kill them?” 

“Of course, I will help him,” Arcturus laughed, getting to his feet. “He is my heir, after all.”

Alexia tensed, her hands balling up into fists. “This fucking family is going to drive me insane.” 

“Oh, no, dear, we’re not contagious,” he laughed. “Come, we must go to Grimmauld Place.” 

* * *

Regulus wanted to leave. As much as he wanted Sirius to be safe, he wanted to see this happen even less. But his mother hadn’t let him. She’d insisted he stay there and watch his brother be punished. So, he’d been standing in the same corner of the room by the fireplace for two and a half hours while Walburga and Bellatrix took turns torturing Sirius in varying ways. 

Sirius was on the floor. Blood, sweat, and tears was mixing around for a sickening aroma that he absently thought he’d remember forever. It was currently Walburga’s turn and she used some of her favorites from his childhood, just to a more dangerous extent. She used cutting hexes most often with a regular  _ Crucio _ mixed in every once in a while. There were some dark curses, too. It had caused him to pass out not ten minutes earlier from the sheer agony of it all. 

The floo chimed and they all expected to find Cygnus stepping out as they’d invited him to join as well. To their surprise, it was Arcturus. And then Alphard. And then… Alexia. 

Regulus immediately pulled Alexia away from the others. As soon as she was sure he was okay, she stepped away again, dodging his hands that tried to keep her back. 

“Walburga,” Arcturus glared darkly. He was different from the carelessness he’d shown minutes earlier. He seemed… larger, harder, darker. He seemed every inch the Black Patriarch that he was. “Who gave you permission to kill my heir?” 

“He betrays our House,” Walburga immediately argued carefully. “He mingles with the Potters!” 

“Like the one that told me of this?” Arcturus wondered, waving to Alexia. “Know that the only reason I won’t kill you both for this is that she brought me here before you managed to kill him.” 

“Patriarch, he mingles with blood traitors,” Bellatrix tried, glaring at Alexia. “She is dirty. She and her brother dirty our House and-,”

“Alphard, Regulus,” Arcturus interrupted, ignoring the angry woman. “Take Sirius to St. Mungo’s.”

“He can’t come back here,” Alexia told him, much to the horror and exhaustion of Regulus and Alphard respectively. “She’ll just do it again!” 

“He will not,” Arcturus agreed, eyeing her. “Alphard, have a lawyer draw up guardianship papers. He is to go to Charlus and Dorea.” 

“I will,” Alphard agreed, picking up Sirius. He stepped through the floo to St. Mungo’s first and Regulus hesitated, looking at Alexia. 

“Go,” Arcturus told him sharply. He hesitated still, enough that Arcturus looked back to see why he was waiting. Once he saw it, he hummed. “She will come to no harm here. Go with your brother, boy.” 

“Be careful,” Regulus told Alexia before finally leaving. 

“You have to see what he is doing to our House,” Walburga said desperately. “He agrees with none of our ideals! He will wreck the House if it is left to him.” 

“You think I knew nothing of my grandson when I named him heir?” Arcturus asked her sharply, making his displeasure clear. “I knew exactly who he is, what he will do in time. You are but an obstacle in his life - his accomplishments will happen regardless of your disapproval.”

“The Dark Lord wants him loyal or dead,” Bellatrix said carefully. Arcturus’s eyes narrowed on the witch. 

“The Dark Lord is not your master!  _ I _ am your Patriarch. You obey  _ me _ . If I find you doing anything against my wishes again, you will no longer be a part of our family.”

“Yes, Patriarch,” Bellatrix bowed her head quietly. With her cowed, Arcturus turned back to Walburga. 

“You have been twisted,” he told her. “You cannot remain this way.” 

“But I-,”

“Alexia,” he said sharply, turning to the teenager who found the entire scene very healing. She straightened and looked at him. “Thank you for bringing this to my attention. If you find anything about this House unacceptable again-,”

“And I do-,”

“We can meet once a month to discuss it.” 

“Thank you, sir,” she nodded. 

“Find your parents,” he instructed. “Take them to their son. He needs them.” 

“And Regulus?” she asked, hesitating. He raised an eyebrow at her, clearly confused by their relationship. 

“For the rest of your Christmas break, he will stay with you.” 

Breathing out in relief, Alexia thanked him once more and quickly floo’d home. When she got there, she found that everyone was still in the kitchen, though they’d finished being healed and were just speaking.

“Lex!” James exclaimed, jumping into her arms to hug her tightly in relief. “Thank  _ Merlin _ .” 

“A lot happened,” she told them, but mostly her parents. “Alphard is drawing up papers so that you’ll be Sirius’s guardians. Regulus needs to stay here for the rest of break.” 

“That’ll be fine,” Charlus assured her, glancing at his wife. “Where are they?”

“Arcturus sent Sirius, Alphard, and Regulus to St. Mungo’s,” she told them, gaining some stares. “What?” 

“ _ Arcturus _ ?” James asked her, confused. “He’s their Patriarch!”

“Alphard took me to him,” she shrugged. 

“How bad was he?” Charlus asked her in concern. She hesitated, remembering her own torture from Bellatrix. It wasn’t as bad as that for the simple fact that it hadn’t been as long, but it looked brutal.

“He’ll recover,” she said eventually. “Especially since he can get physical therapy for it.” 

“Let’s go get our son.”

* * *

Sirius woke up five minutes after the nurse left the room. He’d been mostly healed up - the only thing that needed healing at that point was the after effects of the  _ Cruciatus _ . When he opened his eyes, he felt much better than he thought he had any right to feel. He supposed that was because he’d expected them to kill him, so opening his eyes at all was a bit suspicious. 

“Thank Merlin,” Regulus said from his right. He was sitting in a chair and looked more than stressed. 

“Reg?” Sirius frowned. Being alive was a surprise, but Regulus being there was… confusing. He could already tell he was in St. Mungo’s, but his parents weren’t likely to take him there. “How did I get here? Why are  _ you _ here?” 

“I don’t entirely know what happened before they got there,” Regulus admitted slowly. “But Uncle Alphard, Alexia, and Arcturus showed up.” 

“ _ What _ ?” Sirius asked, flying into a sitting position. He immediately regretted it and grabbed the sides of the bed when he felt so dizzy that, despite sitting in the middle of the bed, he thought he might fall off. “I don’t get it.” 

“Arcturus told Uncle Alphard to find a lawyer,” Regulus continued. “Looks like the Potters are going to keep you from now on.” 

“And you?” 

“Staying for the rest of break. I think Mother is in trouble.”

“Fucking bitch tortured me,” Sirius reminded him. “Did you say Ash was there? Why? Where is she?” 

“She was. I don’t know, and I don’t know.”

“You  _ left _ her there?” Sirius asked in horror. “They could hurt her!” 

“Arcturus sent Grandfather Pollux to Hogwarts to look after her,” Regulus reminded him tiredly. “I’m sure she’s fine. You’re the one that almost died.”

“She almost dies all the time! Sometimes she  _ does _ .” 

“Deflection.” The brothers looked up to find Alexia standing in the door, watching them sadly. She walked inside and took a seat on Sirius’s left, across from Regulus. “Don’t use me to deflect the shit you just went through.”

“But you  _ are _ covered in blood,” Sirius told her, poking her stomach where there was a burn mark in the shirt and an open wound. “And hurt. Did Walburga do this?” 

“What?” she frowned, looking down at herself. “Oh. No, she didn’t. Arcturus is sending her somewhere, I think. He’s got her on a leash for now.” 

“ _ Arcturus _ did that?” Sirius asked her in horror. She just rolled her eyes. 

“Of course he didn’t. I’ve been fighting literally all day. There were raids all over muggle and magical London. We just got home when Cissa sent me a Patronus about you.” 

“Christmas sucks,” Sirius commented with a hefty sigh. 

“How bad was it?” she asked them. When Sirius didn’t reply, Regulus did. 

“A lot of torture and some dark curses. They were trying to kill him. Slowly.”

“Where’s Mum and Dad?” Sirius asked her quietly. Alexia looked through the windows. 

“Alphard is talking to them,” she explained. “They’re signing papers. You’re coming home with us.” 

“How the fuck did the world go from all of us being with our parents to two sets of parents dead and mine trying to kill me?” Sirius wondered bitterly. When she looked at him, she felt a wave of familiarity fall over her in the worst way. He was becoming angrier, more scared, more bitter. He was beginning to become the man she knew.

“You should get that looked at,” Regulus suggested, breaking the uncomfortable silence. Alexia ignored him, prompting him to walk around the bed and kneel in front of her to begin healing her up. “This is deep.” 

The door opened again and in walked Dorea, Charlus, James, and Alphard. All of them said hello to Sirius and asked how he was doing. Once that was out of the way, Alphard smiled down at his nephew. 

“I assume they told you?” 

“Yeah,” Sirius confirmed, managing to smile. 

“We’re so glad you’re okay,” Charlus told Sirius with a somewhat teary smile. 

“Now, we’ve discussed it and if you want to try reporting this to Aurors, you can,” Dorea told Sirius. “But I’m sure you already know that not much will come of it.” 

“I just want to be shot of them,” he told them honestly. “Reg’s the only good one.”

“That’s not true,” Alexia rolled her eyes. 

“Okay, in my immediate family, he’s the only good one.”

“Such high praise,” Regulus commented dryly. 

“The nurse said you can come home tonight,” James told him excitedly. 

“ _ If _ ,” Dorea put a hand up. “You promise to do as I say and do any physical therapy they say you need.” 

“I will,” Sirius promised honestly. “This hurts like a motherfucker. How Lexi handles it, I don’t know.”

“ _ Handled _ ,” Alexia said hurriedly. “No one’s tortured me since last year.” 

“That’s not a  _ good _ thing,” James told his twin. “No one should torture you at all.”

“No one should torture Sirius either and look where we are.” 

* * *

**December 31st, 1976**

Sirius quickly decided upon returning to Potter Manor with his family that he did  _ not _ enjoy being coddled. He found himself irritated with everyone that tried to help him. The only person that he couldn’t bring himself to snap at for coddling him was Lily, and so she’d offered quickly to help him recover. By the time the ball rolled around, he was almost completely healed and Lily found that she was greatly interested in becoming a Healer.

The day before the ball, the rest of the girls arrived at Potter Manor, as well as Peter. The girls all gathered in Alexia’s bedroom the night of the ball to get ready together. It led to a conversation about their dates and when it was revealed that Dorcas and Emmaline would be going together and were a couple, the other girls pelted them with endless questions.

“I’m just saying, it’s not  _ fair _ ,” Marlene sighed dramatically. “You can’t be a cuter couple than me and Black!"

“They’re cuter than Regulus and I,” Alexia added. “My theory is that women are incredible and putting two of them together is a completely unfair amount of beauty. It’s like they automatically transform into Veela.”

“You know, just telling us you’re okay with The Gay is fine too,” Dorcas laughed as she brushed Lily’s hair back. “We’re not suddenly more beautiful than the rest of you.”

“Speak for yourself,” Emmaline grinned. “I’m fucking hot.” 

“Yes, we’re all hot, can we  _ please _ focus on me for a second?” Alice requested as she paced back and forth.

“Take your heels off, your feet will hurt before we ever get down there,” Mary suggested. “What’s up?” 

“I think Frank is going to propose.”

All of the girls stopped what they were doing to stare at their friend. Luckily, Marlene was able to articulate their feelings in three words. 

“What the  _ fuck _ ?”

“I know!” Alice said, tapping her hands nervously against her dress. “I know.”

“We’re still in school,” Lily said in confusion. “Why get engaged now?” 

“A lot of purebloods do it,” Alexia said slowly. She remembered the news of Draco’s engagement to Astoria Greengrass coming out at the end of their sixth year and when she’d asked Bill about it in her letters, he’d explained that purebloods liked to do things quickly despite the contracts. “Do you  _ want _ to marry him?"  


“Well, I- I don’t know,” Alice frowned to herself. “But if I say no, I’ll just be that asshole that turned down her boyfriend in front of everyone, right?” 

“Honey, Frank wouldn’t propose in front of everyone,” Mary assured her quickly. 

“Yeah, if he does it, it’ll be in private,” Emmaline agreed. “You’re not ready to get engaged?” 

“Well… it’s not that exactly. It’s just that I know how it goes, right? You get engaged in the last year or two of school, married after your first year out of school, and then a year after that, you have kids. I’m not ready for kids! I want to be an Auror. I want a career. I don’t want to stay home with a baby.” 

“Love, he knows you,” Dorcas assured her gently as she resumed doing Lily’s hair. “And since we’ve already decided he’ll do it in private, you can tell him your conditions. You’ll marry him  _ if _ he respects your career and doesn’t treat you like an… incubator.” 

Alexia snorted. “If he  _ does _ treat you like an incubator, Ali, we’ll beat him up for you.” 

“He is scared of you girls,” Alice laughed quietly as she took a seat on Alexia’s bed. “That boy is so brave in front of anything but my friends… he’s terrified.”

“Good,” Marlene nodded firmly. “He’d be even more afraid if he saw how Lily, Lexi, and I fought together.” 

“We were pretty good,” Lily smiled, remembering. “Even though Lexi disappeared.”

“Dolohov stunned me and took me back to the castle,” Alexia muttered, still irritated. “I never did hex him for that. Or Lucius, actually. Maybe tonight.”

“So, what’s…  _ that _ situation?” Dorcas wondered, twirling Lily’s hair into waterfall curls coming down from a braid. “Because whatever it is, it’s weird as fuck, you know that, right?”

Alexia rolled her eyes at the understatement and put her earrings in. They were a gift from Gideon and she’d worn them every day since she’d gotten them. “Perhaps we can talk about something other than the bane of my existence.” 

“She won’t tell us,” Lily explained when Mary looked at her. “We’re as lost as you are.” 

“So,” Marlene said, changing the subject. “How’s Sirius doing?” 

“Better,” Lily answered. “He’s been really good about taking his potions and listening to me.” 

“Only her,” Alexia spoke up. “Jamie and I get hexed for worrying about him.” 

“Stealing my boyfriend, Evans?” Marlene laughed. Lily made a face of disgust. 

“Sirius is possibly the most platonic friendship I have.” 

“Because you’re a little gay?” Emmaline joked, gaining a laugh from Alexia and an eye roll from Lily. 

“Unfortunately, I am straight.” 

“And unfortunate it is.” 

* * *

The girls all met their dates ten minutes after the ball officially began. Despite the fact that Walburga wasn’t at the ball, Alexia was still unable to go with Regulus. There were too many Death Eaters there and they didn’t want news getting back to Voldemort. They weren’t worried at school because they were known to be friends and didn’t do any sort of PDA unless there wasn’t anyone around. 

So Alexia’s date - or dates - were Fabian and Gideon. She laughed as they each took an arm and led her into the ballroom. 

“You look lovely as always,” Gideon grinned at her. “Surviving at school with my brother?” 

“He’s bearable,” she teased, laughing at the offended look Fabian shot her. “He’s helping me retain my sanity.” 

“Any progress on the time turner?” Gideon wondered as they made their way over to a table. None of them wanted to dance yet and preferred to talk for a bit. Since there weren’t many people there yet, it wasn’t too unacceptable. “Anymore Fiendfyre?”

“Nope,” Alexia shook her head. “I’ve been trying to get my hands on some books on elementals, too. I haven’t had the time to ask Alphard or Pollux yet.” 

“I’d be very interested in seeing how you handle the other elements,” Fabian said. “Fire seems to be your go-to, but why?” 

Alexia shrugged. “During our time on the run, I’d have said it was because I didn’t pack enough blankets, it was the middle of a harsh winter, and my warming charms could only do so much. Now… I don’t know.”

“Probably because it’s the only one you’ve successfully used,” Gideon reasoned. “Elemental magic is extremely rare and incredibly difficult. People die all the time just attempting it. To successfully use it accidentally is… astounding.” 

“When did it stop being used?” she wondered. “Was it ever common?” 

“It was more common a very long time ago,” Fabian confirmed. “Think Merlin, Morgana times. Times when specific spells weren’t as common. Schools weren’t common, so everyone learned to handle their magic in different ways. One group of people in France, I think, began elemental magic. It was one very powerful bloodline and they were naturals. They taught others, but many of them died.” 

“I have family in France,” Alexia told him with a sigh. “I have so many questions and none of them can be answered until I get back.” 

“You’ll get them answered,” Gideon assured her. “With time. Not too long left now, right?” 

“Two years,” she confirmed softly, tensing. “Oh, god. I’m so close. Two years and a few months and all of this… it all changes.” 

“Well, that’s depressing,” Fabian smacked his brother. 

“I’m gonna go start dancing,” Alexia decided, getting to her feet. “I’ll see you guys later.”

“We’ll check on you in ten,” Gideon assured her. “Have fun, Pip.”

* * *


	35. Don't Be Afraid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexia has like ten fuckin episodes or something idk

**Chapter Thirty-Five**

_ Sometimes we will die and sometimes we will fly away _

_ Either way you’re by my side until my dying days _

**January 3rd, 1977**

Class returned that Monday morning. The castle was noticeably darker. It felt like dark magic had crawled inside and made itself home. The feeling was uncomfortably familiar to Alexia - it felt like the castle had felt the day of the final battle. 

A lot of things were feeling like that. It was just a reminder that the wholesome, pure time she’d been given was over. Raids were daily, the castle was darker, Sirius was more bitter, Remus’s guilt complex was worsening and had been ever since they’d gotten arrested.

Alexia felt more hopeless than ever. 

It was a different hopeless than the one she’d felt fighting the war the first time. That time, she was hopeless and scared and it kept her on her toes. She felt inspired to fight for the slightest chance that they would win. And they had. 

The hopeless she felt in the seventies… it was nothing more than that. She felt hopeless for the fact that she knew what would happen and she couldn’t change it at all. She knew her friends would die, be broken, or turn to Voldemort. She couldn’t do a thing about it and it absolutely drained her to her core. 

Of course, the events of that day did not help at all. 

“I can’t believe you used to be friends with this dirty mudblood,” Amycus laughed as he and Severus passed Sirius, Alexia, and Lily in the hall. Lily’s face flushed and she walked away faster. Alexia had to grab Sirius’s wand from his hand before he could hex or curse either boy, and she hurried him over to their friend. 

Later that day, during Potions, she was sitting with Regulus and Severus as she had been all year. And all year, the other Marauders had avoided the table to the best of their abilities. That day, Sirius walked over to them and stood in front of Alexia. 

“Padfoot,” she frowned, glancing up from chopping mermaid hairs with her dagger. “What?” 

“I just wanted to let you know that we’re going out to the Whomping Willow a half hour early tonight. We’ll be out there at 8:30 instead of 9,” he told her. She tensed so much that she wasn’t sure she was breathing. 

“Go away,” she told him, her voice low. Severus looked between them in confusion. 

“Just wanted to let you know,” he smiled a very Slytherin smile and walked back to James, who immediately started asking what the hell he was doing.

“What are you doing at the Whomping Willow?” Severus wondered in concern. The tree was known to be dangerous and most everyone avoided it completely. 

“He’s just being a prat,” she muttered, unsure what else to say. “Come on, our willoweed is going to go bad if we don’t hurry.”

* * *

It was James that found Severus walking slowly through the halls. They were all in the Shrieking Shack and Alexia was still supplying Remus with Wolfsbane, so he was aware, but he was also still a werewolf and so it was overall just safest to get Severus away from him. 

Severus wasn’t sure why a stag was trying to shove him out the door, so he did his best to get around the large animal. When a familiar fox ran out of the guarded hallway, he began to understand what was happening. She nudged him toward the door again and, trusting her, he moved. It wasn’t until she’d led him all the way inside the castle that she shifted and he caught sight of the fury in her eyes. 

“Alex, what-,”

“He is reckless!” she yelled, her hair sparking already. He followed behind her as she began guiding him down to Slytherin, walking fast in her anger. “He could have gotten you  _ killed _ !  _ Remus _ could have been killed! If he hurt you, he would be executed! Sirius is the most idiotic, thick, absolute cunt that I have ever met!” 

“Lexi!” 

Alexia turned on her heel to see Regulus following her in concern. “ _ What _ ?” 

“Calm down,” he instructed immediately. “It’s okay.” 

“It absolutely is not okay!” she denied loudly. “Your brother is the most reckless, selfish person I have ever met! How Remus ever forgave him for this, I have no clue!” 

“Alexia you need to take a deep breath or-,” Regulus cut his words off as what he was about to say happened. She wavered a little bit before falling over. He caught her carefully and picked her up. “Damn it.” 

“What happened?” Severus asked, stepping closer to look at her. 

“You’ve never seen one of her episodes,” Regulus realized. “She passed out. I need to get her to my uncle.” 

“But she-,” 

“You should get back to the dorm,” Regulus suggested. “I’m sure she’ll come find you tomorrow.” 

Alexia shifted in his arms and groaned a little. “Wha-,”

“Hey, you’re okay,” he told her gently. “Probably have some memory loss. Give me just a moment and we can work it out, okay?” 

“But- who- I don’t understand,” she settled on finally. “You look like Sirius.” 

Regulus glanced at Severus and back at her as he began walking. Whatever the other boy did was not his concern - she was. As soon as they were out of hearing distance, he offered her a smile. “I look like him because he’s my brother. You told me it’s the inbreeding. I think you’re right.”

“ _ Regulus Black _ ?” she asked in surprise, shifting. He struggled to put her down before she could fall out of his arms and when he did, she poked his cheek. “You’re dead.” 

“As much as I enjoy discussing my impending death,” he began. “And as cute as you are just standing there, we should get to Uncle Alphard. He can help you.” 

“Cute- I can and will hex you,” she said, confused more than she was offended. He laughed and she found herself smiling at his genuine smile. 

“I’ve seen you fight and I don’t want to be on the other end of your daggers. You trust me though, right? Look at me, you trust me.” 

Immediately, she nodded. “I think I do. Why?” 

“We’ve known each other for a while now,” he told her, beginning to walk. Since her answers were walking away from her, she followed him as he made his way to the potions classroom. It had a fireplace and she carried floo powder on her for emergencies, so he felt no need to go all the way to Pollux’s office or Fabian’s.

“You said amnesia,” she told him. “I have amnesia?” 

“What’s the last thing you remember? What year is it?” 

“It’s 1997,” she said slowly. “I remember helping to teach Tonks how to brew Wolfsbane for Remus and talking to him. Bill’s wedding is in a couple of weeks, so the Order is coming around less and it’s more friends and family.”

“So that’s around nine or ten years,” he told her. When she immediately panicked, he offered her another smile. “But those years will be remembered quickly with a calming draught and help from my uncle.” 

“Sirius said everyone in your family was evil.”

“And me?” 

“Sirius didn’t talk about you,” she admitted. “I only know what we found out. I know I sometimes heard Walburga shouting at Sirius about how you should’ve been the heir and that she should’ve hurried up and killed Sirius.”

Regulus winced as he led her over to the fireplace. “That happened a few weeks ago. You got Alphard and Arcturus and saved him.” 

“ _ I _ went to Arcturus Black and asked for help?” 

He grabbed her bag off her shoulder gently and summoned the floo powder. “You’ve done incredible things here.” 

“Here is… the past?” she asked hesitantly. When he nodded, she closed her eyes in horror. “What happened?” 

“A friend sent you back. He did it because you told him to,” he explained, handing over the floo powder. “Call out ‘Alphard Black DOM.’”

“I’m not going back there,” she said immediately. 

“You go back there multiple times a week. It’s okay. Trust me.”

Despite the fact that she logically did not trust him, she  _ did _ trust him already. She felt it. So she grabbed the floo powder and did as he said. She stepped out into a dimly lit office. At the desk to the right, a man that looked a great deal like Sirius glanced up from the parchment he’d been reading.

“Alexia,” he greeted. “Is everything alright?” 

She gasped and jumped out of the fireplace as Regulus followed behind her. He grabbed her by the shoulders to steady her and she flinched back. 

“She’s had another episode,” Regulus told his uncle, dropping his hands to his side. “I found her and Severus walking toward the dungeons. She was very angry about something to do with Sirius and then she just passed out. I’ve never seen her pass out so quickly.” 

Alphard frowned and got to his feet. When he pointed his wand at Alexia, she reached down to find her own, only to panic when she couldn’t. “It’s all right. I’m only trying to figure out how bad it is. I won’t hurt you.”

“Where’s my wand?” she asked, her voice laced with panic. “I need my wand.” 

“You don’t,” he disagreed. “You don’t use a wand anymore.”

Alexia glanced at Regulus without even realizing what she was doing. His soft smile was comforting to her and she relaxed seeing that he was so calm. 

“Whatever happened, we’ll handle it,” he told her softly as Alphard cast his spells. “If you want, I’ll help you prank Sirius.” 

“This is rather bad,” Alphard muttered to himself, pacing over to his desk. He opened a drawer and pulled out a light blue potion in a glass bottle that was neatly labelled “Alexia.” 

“What is that?” Alexia asked hesitantly as he poured some of it into a whiskey glass for her. 

“It’s a special potion we’ve been working on together,” he explained absently. “Sort of like the potions you usually take after these episodes. It will help with the pain, but it also helps with the suppressive blanket over your memories. It sort of wedges the blanket apart from the memories and makes it much easier for you to remember.”

“Does it work?” 

“We’re about to see, I suppose.” 

Nervous, Alexia took the glass from him and tipped it back. Immediately, she crumpled to the floor. The glass broke next to her and Alphard caught her just before she hit the floor with his wand and levitated her into Regulus’s arms. When her eyes blinked open, she stared at Regulus quietly for a moment before cursing loudly and tumbling out of his arms. 

“Hey, deep breath,” Alphard coached. “What is it?” 

“It’s Sirius,” she grit out as her hair began to spark once more. “It’s- he- I’m going to kill him! Oh my god, he’s so reckless! One of them could have died or been arrested and-,” 

“Little Lion,” Regulus said, his voice low. She paused and glanced at him. He never used the nickname in front of anyone else. “What did he do?” 

“He dropped a hint to Severus about where we’d be tonight,” she answered, scowling darkly. “Severus came to the Shrieking Shack. If Jamie’s panic hadn’t been so strong, I might not have been able to get him back to the castle and he might’ve gotten hurt. Remus could be killed for it!” 

“Is everyone okay?” Alphard asked her, directing her to the most important details. 

“For now,” she narrowed her eyes. “But when I get my hands on Sirius-,” 

“Nothing actually happened,” Regulus reminded her. “It’s fine, Lexi.” 

“It is not!” she denied, quickly getting more upset again. “He wanted to scare Severus or get him hurt or killed and he had no care for Remus! He is disgusting and-,” 

“She’s going to pass out again,” Alphard warned with his wand out. Regulus quickly put Alexia into a chair. When she did as the older man warned, both of them sighed. 

It was going to be a long night.

* * *

**January 4th, 1977**

By the time Alexia got back to Hogwarts, breakfast was ending. 

Regulus had left somewhere around one in the morning at the insistence of Alphard. It was a very long night for the two of them. Alexia lapsed into episodes four times in total, and after that, they found that four doses of their potion would poison her and she’d been rushed to St. Mungo’s. It only took a bezoar to heal her up, but they decided to do full scans and bring in specialists since it was a newly created and just tested potion. 

As she walked into the castle, she pushed her hair out of her face tiredly. She was exhausted in more ways than one. Emotionally, physically, mentally, she was just tired. And as much as she wanted to go straight to bed, she also knew she had to find someone - probably James - and figure out what had happened after she’d left.

The first place she checked was the mostly empty Great Hall. Gryffindor table was completely empty, so she sighed and turned to walk out. She considered using her patronus to find him but she wasn’t sure she had the energy to search for a happy memory after the night she’d had. 

“ _ You look awful. _ ”

Alexia groaned and kept walking. “ _ Please, Antonin, I don’t have the energy for… anything. I just need to find my brother and then I’m going to sleep for a week. _ ”

“ _ And you think you will find him in the Great Hall. _ ”

“ _ Perhaps. _ ” 

“ _ None of your friends were at breakfast this morning _ ,” he informed her, grabbing her elbow lightly to stop her. “ _ What happened, Hermione _ ?”

She made a face at him and leaned against the wall beside her. “ _ I suppose it is technically your fault. _ ”

“ _ Your memory issues? _ ”

“ _ Something happened last night. Sirius did something and it pissed me off so badly that I had an episode and when I came out of it, I just got pissed again and had another. I had four. Then I was poisoned accidentally and then St. Mungo’s decided they had to do a full report. I just got out. _ ”

“ _ Allow me to escort you to your common room _ .”

Alexia looked him over with a frown. “ _ I assumed your friendly, nice act would end when we got back. Why are you doing this _ ?”

“ _ Someday you will understand that I truly have grown to… care for you. _ ”

“ _ But you’re an arse. _ ”

“ _ And you’re insufferable, but here we are. _ ”

Alexia snorted and pushed off the wall. “ _ I’ve been called worse before. _ ”

He offered her his arm and, not able to care anymore, she took it and let him lead her up the stairs. “ _ I did not get a dance at your ball. _ ”

She glanced at him absently. When she was tired, her filter tended to slip, so she didn’t even think before speaking. 

“ _ I still owe you and Lucius a hex, so I figured I shouldn’t risk it by dancing with either of you _ .”

“ _ I assumed you did not dance with him because he is still in love with you. _ ”

Alexia stopped walking so abruptly that she found herself tipping back on the stairs. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders to keep her from falling. “ _ Excuse me _ ?”

“ _ Do you not see it _ ?”

“ _ He’s- we’re friends! He’s just my friend. _ ”

“ _ I am aware. He is still in love with you, however. _ ”

“ _ He’s betrothed to Narcissa, Antonin! _ ”

“ _ And in love with you _ .”

“ _ Maybe I  _ _ will _ _ hex you _ ,” she muttered with a deep frown. They’d begun walking again and she found herself leaning against him to keep her steady. The rest of the trip to Gryffindor was made in silence. When they got to the portrait hole, she muttered the password carelessly and grabbed the portrait. “ _ Thank you. _ ”

“ _ Good luck _ ,” he told her with a smile that she thought was less smug and more… honest. “ _ If you need to curse anyone, I suggest Entomorphis. _ ”

Alexia laughed at the idea of turning Sirius into a bug. “ _ You know, I just might. I did keep a nasty reporter in a jar for a year in her beetle Animagus form. _ ”

Dolohov looked at her with a new sort of respect. “ _ And what did she do to deserve that _ ?”

“ _ Mm. I’ll tell you someday. _ ”

“ _ I look forward to it. _ ”

* * *

When Alexia finally managed to stumble up to the boys’ dorm, only Remus was there. He was sitting with a book in his lap and a cauldron cake next to him. She walked in slowly and offered him a small, guilty smile. She sat on his bed with him after moving the cauldron cake and looked him over. 

“You look like shit,” he told her. She narrowed his eyes. 

“You’re the second person to tell me that,” she said. “I think I’m starting to be offended.” 

“Where’d you go, Alex?” 

She quieted. “I took Severus to Slytherin and then… I had an episode. Regulus took me to Alphard, but I… sort of had three more episodes and got poisoned. I wanted to come back. I’m so sorry, Moony.” 

“Merlin’s sake,” he breathed in surprise. “ _ Four episodes _ ? Are you  _ okay _ ?”

“I am now,” she shrugged. “But our potion poisoned me, so I can’t take it four times again… what happened?” 

Remus glanced up at her with guilt in his eyes. “After you left, Prongs kicked him out. When I woke up, he took me to the infirmary and sat there for three hours to make sure he wouldn’t come in. When we got back here… it was bad, Alex.”

“Who yelled?” she winced. 

“James and Pete both yelled at him for nearly thirty minutes,” he frowned. 

“You didn’t?”

“What is there to say?” he wondered. “He knows what he did and he knows he fucked up. I know he’d never do it again, but… he still did it to begin with. Now one more person knows my secret.” 

“Severus wouldn’t tell anyone,” she assured him quickly. 

“Maybe, but he still knows,” he shrugged helplessly. “Imagine if Sirius just told Marlene you’re from the future.” 

“Right,” Alexia sighed and laid back in the bed with him. “I’m sorry, Moony.”

“You’re tired?” he asked her quietly, unwilling to continue talking about it. At her nod, he pulled his blanket over them both. “Me too. Let’s get some sleep.” 

* * *

**January 11th, 1977**

Pollux entered the office again five hours after he’d left. Alexia had moved to sit behind his desk and was nearly finished with his lesson plan for his first years. He hadn’t asked her to make it, but she’d found it sitting under a mountain of other work he’d been neglecting. If they were being honest, she did most of his work for him. He wasn’t there to actually teach, after all. 

He slammed a heavy book down on top of the parchment - and her hand - and leaned against the desk. Alexia looked up at him, irritated. 

“What is it?” she asked, moving it off of the wet ink on the parchment. 

“Fabian said you needed a book on elemental magic. Arcturus sent me this.” 

“Arcturus- wait, really?” she asked. She excitedly opened the book and began flipping through it. “Wow. It’s… very large.”

“It’s the biggest collection of elemental magic knowledge in the world,” he confirmed, waving for her to get out of his chair. She stood, the book in her arms. He sat down and laughed at the lesson plan.

“Huh?”

“I didn’t have a plan for this lesson so I just taught them how to turn their opponent’s trousers into snakes.”

“Pollux!” 

“What? It was informative and fun. They weren’t poisonous or anything. Well… not most of them.” 

* * *

**January 12th, 1977**

Going to class that day was, more than anything, an irritation. 

Alexia had arrived late due to a raid in the middle of the night. She’d been slightly injured and Madam Pomfrey had given her a dreamless sleep, which caused her to oversleep. By the time she got to the DADA room, everyone was already in pairs and practicing. They were still working on silent casting every Wednesday, so it was important that there were two of them to keep track of the students and make sure they weren’t using any unapproved spells. 

She saw a tall head of red hair pacing in front of the students and hurried over. When she caught sight of him, she grinned happily and hugged him. “Gideon!” 

“Hey, Pip,” he laughed, messing up her hair a bit. “Feeling better?” 

“I was fine,” she brushed off his concern. “Where’s Fab?” 

“Mother asked him to come help out,” he explained. “I’m pretty sure she wants to set him up with someone.” 

Alexia snorted at the idea. “And not you?” 

“We already talked about it,” he waved her off as she put up a shield in front of Elora Zabini. 

“No dark magic, Avery,” she told him sharply. She let Gideon take her arm as they walked together. “You guys aren’t interested in getting married?” 

“Nah,” he shrugged. “Not right now. Too much going on, you know?” 

“So how did you tell your Mum you don’t want to?” she wondered curiously. Gideon ducked to avoid a stray stunner and glanced at James, who gave him a sheepish grin. 

“I told her I’m busy with this war,” he said slowly. “And we’re trying to take care of you, Pip.” 

“ _ Me _ ?” Alexia turned to look at him in surprise. “Gideon, I’ve met the woman maybe three times at the ball.” 

He looked at her curiously. “I suppose your parents didn’t tell you, then.” 

“Tell me  _ what _ ?” 

“In the event that something happens to them, they’ve asked my parents to take care of you, James, Sirius, Remus, and Lily.”

“That’s- there’s five of us! That’s too many!” 

Gideon laughed and tugged her along to keep watching her classmates. “Mother knows that you mean a lot to us and she adores taking care of people, so she agreed. My parents are officially your godparents.” 

“Okay, so…” she said slowly, thinking. “Your excuse was that I’m… what, a handful?”

“Yep, basically.” 

“And Fabian?” 

“That idiot will probably be honest and say he isn’t interested in dating right now,” Gideon laughed. 

“And did you tell anyone you’re not Fabian?” 

“No, of course not,” he grinned at her. “You seem to be the only one that can tell us apart so easily, Pip. How do you do that?” 

“Your nephews,” she rolled her eyes at him. “They’re not born yet. They’re the most infuriating pair of twins I’ve ever met and I  _ had _ to learn to tell them apart. I guess they’re so much like you that I can figure you guys out, too.” 

“Ash!” James exclaimed from behind them. The pair turned around to find him grinning excitedly. “I got it, look!” 

They watched as he threw a stunner at Peter. It hit the boy, who couldn’t hold a silent shield and dropped him to the mat below. James’s lips hadn’t moved and there was no clue whatsoever what he’d cast until it hit the other boy. 

“That’s great!” Gideon told him. Alexia stared at Peter’s stunned body and sighed. She waved her hand at him absently and woke him up. 

“Can we duel?” 

Gideon looked at Alexia. “Lexi, we’re in the middle of a class.” 

“And they seem to be getting frustrated,” she said, waving at students who had resorted to whispering under their breath or just casting overpowered spells normally in their frustration. “Maybe they could use a break.”

“You just got hurt last night,” he pointed out. “Are you sure you’re up for it?” 

“Gid, I was tortured for hours on end and still went to fight the final battle,” she made a face at him. “I’m  _ fine _ . I’m just jittery. I want to get this energy out.” 

Gideon shook his head at her and raised his voice. “Okay! We’re done with this for the day. We’re going to do some actual dueling. Anyone that doesn’t want to be involved can leave, but I deeply suggest you stay.” 

It took some time for the students to sort themselves out while Gideon and Alexia transfigured some desks into a platform to duel on. After about five minutes, everyone was gathered on either side of the platform, but the two in charge were hesitating. 

“Someone else should be here if we want to classify this as a legal duel,” Gideon told her. “I’d call Fab, but-,”

Alexia cast her Patronus easily. “To Alphard. I know you miss me dearly, and I know you have the week off. I’d ask Pollux but he has class and promised he’d actually be there, so… come to the DADA room, please.”

As it hurried away, Gideon shook his head at her. “He’s going to think you’re in danger, Pip.”

“Nah,” she waved him off. “It’s fine.”

“We don’t need an Unspeakable to oversee these duels,” he laughed as she began setting up the protective barrier around the platform to protect the other students. The reminder of the snake trying to bite Justin Finch-Fletchley in second year had her doubling the strength of the shields. 

The door opened just as the barrier lit up silver and then became invisible. Alphard walked in and settled his eyes on Alexia, ignoring the other, rather confused students. 

“You are fine.” 

“Did I  _ sound _ like I wasn’t?” 

“I assume the worst with you.” 

“Fair,” Sirius commented from nearby. Alexa resisted the urge to glare at him. They still weren’t speaking and she was still furious. 

“I was just hoping you could oversee some duels for us,” she requested with the sweetest smile she could manage. Alphard took in a deep breath, begging any deities that existed for patience. He glanced at Gideon, who looked like he was doing his best not to laugh. 

“Hey, I had nothing to do with this,” Gideon said immediately. “She called you.” 

“You have an hour,” Alphard told Alexia stiffly. “Under the condition that you allow me to correct any mistakes you make.” 

“Micromanaging,” Alexia rolled her eyes. “Love it.”

“Who wants to duel first?” Gideon asked, looking out at the students. “You don’t have to do it silently but it is good practice.” 

“I want to duel Potter,” Mulciber said with an evil glint in his eye. 

“I’m not dueling him,” James scoffed.

“Your sister, moron.”

Gideon look at the girl nervously. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Pip. I won’t hurt you, but he might and you just got released from the infirmary.” 

Alexia rolled her eyes and jumped onto the platform and pulled her daggers out. She gripped them tightly in her hands and nodded at Mulciber. “Come on.”

“Your daggers-,”

“Oh, I don’t need them,” she shrugged and handed them over to Alphard, who took them gratefully. They really didn’t need her to stab anyone. Not in front of so many people. It would be a headache to Obliviate all of them. 

“Come on,” Gideon waved Mulciber up. The boy walked over and jumped up onto the platform, standing across from her. “You’re both sure of this?”

“She thinks she’s so good,” Mulciber said, glaring at Alexia. “She isn’t.” 

“No dark magic,” Gideon told Alexia firmly. She rolled her eyes but did make a mental note that despite the fact that she was going to be fighting a death eater, she couldn’t use dark magic to win. 

“Tell him that,” she suggested. “He knows just as much as I do.” 

“And you should not discuss it in front of your classmates,” Alphard reminded her. She ignored him. 

“That goes for you, too,” Gideon told Mulciber. When he nodded, they got into position and waited to begin. When Gideon sent up sparks from behind the protective barrier, they both immediately raised shields. Alexia, able to do wandless magic, was able to throw a few curses and hexes at him, too, to test the strength of his shield. It was strong, but not as strong as he could’ve made it. It clearly wasn’t his main goal, so she figured he didn’t plan to wear her out. 

He dropped his shield suddenly and she resisted the urge to change her shield to a blood shield. The only thing that reminded her that she wasn’t supposed to was the absence of her daggers, which she always used to get the blood for the shield. He did exactly as she had and tossed a few useless spells at her. 

She tossed a couple of curses at him and noticed how slow his reaction time was to cover above his head. With that in mind, she cast  _ Anteoculatia _ and watched as it barely hit him. Without watching the antlers grow, she cast  _ Carpe Retractum _ and smirked as he was pulled to her. She stepped out of the way before he could hit her and, on her way, stunned him. Once he fell to the ground, she picked up his wand. 

“That’s impossible!” Alecto exclaimed as Gideon revived Mulciber. “He’s the best duelist in Slytherin!” 

“He is not,” Alexia scoffed. “Lucius is, or Antonin. Mulciber is slow and lazy and overconfident. He didn’t see me as an actual threat, so he lost.” 

“If I’d known you could do that-,”

“It wouldn’t have mattered and I still would’ve won.” 

Mary let out a laugh from the crowd, breaking the tense silence. “I’ve seen her duel, she’s right. We had to make her the ref because she’s unfairly good. You were fucked either way, Mulciber.” 

“I’d like to duel her,” Gibbon decided. Alexia glanced at the crowd. 

“I don’t think I should duel again. Everyone here wants to, and I’m still dueling Gid- er, Fabian at the end.” 

“We’re just here to watch you,” James told her, pointing to the other Marauders. “It’s always fun.” 

“I hate dueling,” Lily added. “You know that.” 

Gideon let out a laugh. “Raise your hand if you’re just here to watch.” 

Almost all of the Gryffindors and half of the Slytherins raised their hands. Alexia tilted her head back. 

“Yeah, we never got to watch you duel them,” James told Alexia. “Maybe they’re not both here, but neither is Malfoy to freak you out, so we want a rematch.” 

“Jamie, I’ve dueled them both multiple times,” Alexia rolled her eyes. “You just weren’t invited.” 

“ _ What _ ?” he gasped dramatically. “Why?”

“They were teaching me how to be the better, more loved twin.” 

“No one can teach that,” he shook his head confidently. “You just have to be born with it and you weren’t. You curse too many people.” 

“I’ll curse you, prat.” 

“Hey, I wanna see  _ them _ duel!” Marlene grinned. The twins exchanged a glance. 

“I’ll duel him,” Alexia agreed. “But we both use all of our assets and everything we know.” 

“Deal,” James grinned. 

Gibbon narrowed his eyes. “What about me?” 

“Wait your turn,” James waved him off as he jumped up onto the platform. Alexia turned to Alphard with her hands out. 

“This is not a good idea,” he told her honestly. “He’s your brother, Alexia. Do you honestly want to stab him?” 

“I’m not going to stab him, Merlin,” she said, shaking her hand. “C’mon.” 

Alphard spent a minute considering it before he finally handed over her daggers. Grinning, she turned back to her brother. 

“I said everything we know,” she reminded him. “So that’s everything I taught you, too. Okay?”

“Lex, we’re in the middle of class,” he shook his head quickly. 

“If it makes you feel better, I’ll do it first,” she offered. He stared at her and didn’t answer, but he did grab the dagger she offered him. She turned to Gideon and nodded that they were ready. As promised, she went first. When Gideon gave the go-ahead, she immediately pricked her finger and cast the dark blood shield. James followed quickly after and they began casting slowly, picking up the pace as time went on. 

To her surprise, James had gotten much better than the last time they’d dueled each other. Either that, or he knew her well enough to guess what she was going to do before she could do it. Eventually, they were moving so quickly that he found himself gaining on her. He’d already thrown up a rebound shield behind her and managed to hit it with a cutting hex. It had resulted in a long, deep slice on her back ad she’d grunted and fell to her knees. He kept going hesitantly and stepped closer to throw a large, heavy jet of water at her via  _ Aqua Eructo _ . Just before it could hit her, she did something she knew she’d be yelled at for - she practiced some of the elemental magic she’d only learned the day before.

A wall of fire lit up between them and burned off the top of the protective barrier. As the water neared, it turned completely into steam and didn’t harm her at all. Using his surprise to her advantage, she hit him with  _ Alarte Ascendare _ and used  _ Expelliarmus _ to disarm him in midair. Finally, she softened his fall with a blast of air that caught him just in time.

“Alexia,” Alphard sighed deeply, breaking the shocked silence that had fallen. “Did my father give you a book about-,”

“Arcturus sent it for me,” she answered absently. She reached down to help her brother up and adjusted his glasses for him with a sheepish smile. He shook his head with a laugh and took his wand back from her. 

“Every time I think I’ve almost caught up with you…” 

“On that note,” Alexia looked at Gideon, embarrassed. “I’ve never done that on purpose before and I’m a little-,”

“You will need to rest,” Alphard confirmed. “You will not be dueling again today.” 

Gideon offered the class a smile. “Next Wednesday, if you’d all still like to duel, it won’t be a problem to do so after classes are out. For now, you’re dismissed.” 

As they filed out, Alexia snickered. “Fabian’s gonna be so annoyed with you for that.” 

“Fabian shouldn’t have left me in charge of his classes if he didn’t expect me to do  _ something _ .” 

* * *


	36. The Way That You're Wired

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Um so the note on this chapter was simply "...oh boy" so ??? watch out i guess????
> 
> I JUST REALIZED WHAT THIS IS, OH NOOOO

**Chapter Thirty-Six**

_ Is it real? You believe you’re guiltless. _

_ I don’t think I’d feel better if I opened your eyes _

_ I’ll carry your burden till the day that you die _ .

**February 28th, 1977**

The sessions with Fabian and Regulus to work on the time turner were beginning to go better. Unfortunately, it had a familiar and unsettling effect on her that led her to sit down with Fabian, Regulus, and Alphard one afternoon. 

“Did you bring it?” Alphard asked. Fabian handed the time turner over and Alphard shifted it in his hands as he looked at it and began to cast spells on it. A couple of minutes passed before he set it on the desk and looked at Alexia. “I’d like to see now.” 

Alexia waved her hand at her eyes, revealing the golden tint to them underneath the natural brown color. It resulted in a weird sort of amber that, while beautiful, had them all uncomfortable. “They’re not as bright as Mia’s were.” 

“But she also successfully cast the spell,” Regulus pointed out. “They could get brighter when you do.” 

“Did she give you any information on why this happened?” 

“She said… it changed her DNA,” Alexia said slowly. “But that she was safe. Apparently, she hadn’t gotten into contact with the man that would have answers for her yet.” 

“Again, I would advise against continuing,” Alphard said finally. “We are unsure what is happening and it could be dangerous.” 

“I’d honestly rather die than let Jamie die without even trying to help him,” Alexia told him, waving her hand at the time turner to levitate it back to her. 

Alphard sighed. “Keep your eyes covered if you can. They’re not too suspicious right now, but you should be careful. If it gets worse, come back to me.” 

* * *

**March 19th, 1977**

The Sirius situation had taken a full month to get better. Remus hadn’t been angry and he’d claimed he didn’t want to waste the energy being upset with Sirius, so the pair had made up quickly. It was everyone else that had been upset still. Peter was the next one to forgive him for the simple fact that he hadn’t actually cared that much to begin with but everyone else had been angry, so he pretended to be, too. After Peter came Alexia. She had only dropped it because Remus had begged her to. 

James was a different case. 

He’d resumed their friendship around the same time that Alexia had, of course. Only Remus and Alexia knew how furious he still was. Neither of them had brought it up because they’d assumed it would dissipate over time. They were very wrong. 

The day it all came to a head was two and a half months later while planning a prank for Ravenclaw the next week during the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw game. The group was doing research and had been quiet for a long time. Alexia and Remus could both feel how distracted and angry James was. Just before he broke the silence, they looked up at him in alarm. 

“I can’t fucking believe you,” he said loudly, startling Peter and Sirius. They both looked at him in confusion. 

“Uh, Prongs,” Peter blinked. “Who are you talking to?” 

“ _ Him _ ,” he spat at Sirius, who looked completely lost. “You’re so… no matter what you do, you get away with it. Fucking up and accidentally hexing Narcissa is one thing, but you fucked up bad with Lexi and Remus both and they both just… forgave you. And then you all forgot."

“James, what the fuck?” Sirius asked, confused and a little angry. “Where the fuck did this come from?” 

“Lexi begged me to drop it,” James continued. “Because you guys talked about it. But then Moony- did you even know what you were doing? When you told Snape where we’d be, did you even realize that if things went badly, you’d have gotten one of your best friends  _ killed _ ?”

“I wasn’t thinking,” Sirius said, his brow furrowed. “I told you.” 

“And you weren’t thinking when you kissed Lexi, either,” James agreed. “You say it like it’s an excuse but it isn’t. You say it like your dumb, impulsive actions couldn’t have cost you the best fucking family you have. Do you realize that I would’ve stood by Lexi if she told me she was done with you?” 

“James-,”

“No, Lex,” he cut her off sharply. “He doesn’t get it and it’s clear. If you’d told me you couldn’t be around him anymore, I would have understood and told him to fuck off. I fully expected you to be done with him, Moony.” 

“I just want this argument over,” Remus sighed tiredly. 

“Prongs, all this shit is over,” Sirius said, getting to his feet with his frustration. “I get it, I fucked up more than once. I’m not gonna do that shit again.” 

“You just don’t think, Padfoot!” James continued heatedly. “Someday, that could get you killed. Someday you’ll be so cocky and thoughtless that it’ll get you killed.” 

Alexia closed her eyes tightly and wished she was anywhere else. He was  _ right _ .

“Where the fuck is this coming from?” Sirius snapped. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” 

“You can’t fucking afford to be thoughtless!” James yelled, getting in his face. “We could die as is and you’re making dumb, careless risks that could leave you alone or Moony dead! This is a war, Sirius, pay attention!” 

Silence fell between them. After a minute, Sirius looked down. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“You’re  _ sorry _ ?” 

Sirius nodded. “I wasn’t thinking. It isn’t an excuse, but I wasn’t. I get it now, Prongs. I won’t do it again. And… I’m scared, too.” 

James looked his friend over quietly. “You are?” 

“I’m fucking terrified, mate.” 

“So are we not going to do the prank tonight?”

Alexia glared. “Shut the fuck up, Pete.” 

“You guys seem so… confident,” James admitted, sitting back down. “I didn’t think it meant anything.” 

“I’m scared,” Remus agreed. “Since my parents… that could happen to anyone else and they might not be as lucky as I was to have your parents.” 

“Me too,” Pete added quietly. 

James looked at his sister with a small laugh. “I guess you probably aren’t. You’ve been through this before.”

“Jamie, I’m more afraid now than ever,” she said honestly. “Back then… there was some sort of uncertainty and hope but now it’s just… one clear path in my mind. The future is set and in it, a lot of us are dead. It’s just the way it is.” 

“How’d you handle it?” he wondered softly. “Back then.” 

She offered him a small smile and pictured a version of him with brilliant green eyes. “My friends and I stayed close. We always figured things out together. No challenge was too big as long as we were together. The only one I’ve ever been this afraid of is… this.”

“So we’ll stay together,” Remus decided firmly. “We’ll stay close, figure it out together.” 

“We’ll always do it together,” James nodded. “We should make an oath to always be loyal to our fellow Marauders.” 

“Yeah!” Sirius grinned excitedly. “Let’s do it.” 

Alexia and Peter gazed at each other. They both knew he was loyal to no one other than himself. Despite that, they both agreed. Anything else would’ve been far too suspicious. So the oaths were made that night between the five of them. The only comfort Alexia had was knowing that in the future, Peter was already dead. 

* * *

**April 1st, 1977**

The day began just as any other would. 

The Marauders made their way to breakfast together after they all woke up late. They’d have missed it altogether if Remus hadn’t annoyed them into hurrying. It was a Saturday, so the Great Hall was mostly empty as many woke late on the weekend. They sat down and ate together. About ten minutes into their meal, Fabian sat down next to Alexia. 

“I’d ask what you five are doing, but as a teacher, I’d have to disapprove,” he grinned at her. “So I won’t ask.” 

“Would be a waste, having taught us,” she agreed, resting her head on his shoulder. “What’s up? I thought you were going home to help Gid fix up your apartment. Isn’t your grandmother visiting tomorrow?” 

“Yep,” he confirmed, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “I wanted to check on you after last night.”

Alexia made a face at the reminder. They’d spent three hours working on the time turner and in the end, her eyes had been much brighter. She was still able to glamour them, much to her relief, but it had been a long night. She’d not only set things on fire but also caused a mini tornado reminiscent of  _ Flipendo Tria _ . It had sent her into an episode and it took her a very long time to calm down completely. Fabian had been extremely patient with her, though, and she appreciated him all the more for it. 

“I’m good,” she promised. “I’m sorry for catching you on fire.” 

“It’s not the first time,” he laughed. “And I’m sure it won’t be the last.” 

“When do you leave?” James wondered. He’d been listening to their conversation. While he wasn’t sure what they’d been doing, he trusted them. 

“Now, actually,” Fabian said, getting to his feet again. He pressed a kiss to the top of Alexia’s head. “Be safe, Pip, okay?” 

“We’ll see.” 

“I don’t want you getting into fights or any sort of danger while I’m gone,” he insisted, glancing at James. “Keep her safe?” 

“I can try,” James snorted. 

“I’ll see you guys Monday,” Fabian told them with a smile. Once he was gone, they all turned back to their conversation, putting him out of their minds for the moment. 

* * *

The plan for the day had been to sit in the library alone and get more reading done on the elemental magic. The issue with that plan, of course, was that her table was occupied by the person she’d been avoiding. 

“Lucius,” she greeted in surprise. She’d been tempted to turn around and walk away, but he’d glanced up in time to see her, trapping her there. 

“Alexia,” he nodded. She stood there awkwardly for a moment before sitting down across from him. She pulled out her book and set it down, hoping to just avoid the subject. He did not seem to agree. “Alexia.” 

She looked up slowly. “Hm?” 

“I understood avoiding me when you were afraid you’d hurt me in your episodes,” he began, watching her. “Or after we broke up. I am graduating soon, however, and once I do, seeing you will become much more difficult. I would like to know why you’ve begun avoiding me again.”

Alexia went over her options. She immediately discarded the idea of denying she’d been avoiding him. They both knew it wasn’t true. Telling him the truth also made her uncomfortable and she knew it wasn’t a subject they needed to get onto for either of their sakes. Her dilemma led her to just staring at him with her mouth slightly open. 

“Alexia?” he looked at her. He wasn’t sure he’d ever seen her look completely frozen before. “What is it?” Instead of answering his question, she let out a long groan and tilted her head back. He just looked at her, unimpressed. She was not good at being stuck. 

Finally, she frowned and began speaking slowly, carefully picking out her words. “Discussing it will not do either of us any good.”

“Avoiding me is doing no good, either.” 

“...you may have a point.” Alexia sat back in her chair and crossed her arms. “I’ll tell you, but only if you understand that I think this is pointless and won’t do us any favors.” 

“I understand you feel that way.” 

She took in a slow breath and met his eyes. “I spoke to Dolohov in January. I didn’t believe him at first when he told me but the more I thought about it… I see it.” 

Lucius’s lips thinned. “What did he say to you, Alexia?”

“He said you’re still in love with me, Lucius.” 

For a moment, the two just stared at each other as they both tried to process the situation. 

“I am betrothed to Narcissa,” he told her softly. “You are dating Regulus. I would not disrespect either of them or you.” 

His careful wording was not missed. Alexia breathed in and out very slowly. “When we were dating, did you think I felt anything for Regulus?” 

“I could… see something there,” he answered. “Potentially. Obviously, I knew we would not marry, so I had to hope you would be with someone like Regulus that would care for you as much as I did.”

She wanted to assure him that while they were dating and for some time after, the only person she had feelings for was  _ him _ . She wanted to tell him that she’d been so in love with him that she hadn’t thought she could ever fall in love the same way again. She wanted to assure him that there would always be that part of her that remembered and loved him. 

But she couldn’t. 

He was with Narcissa, who had become a good friend. She was with Regulus, and she loved him so much. It was the exact reason she’d not wanted to have that discussion. The pain she felt twisting in her was overwhelming. It was a sort of pain she hadn’t felt since their breakup that led her to think that perhaps she hadn’t truly gotten over him completely. 

That thought had her closing her eyes abruptly. 

She couldn’t still care for him in that way. She’d taken her time and healed from the breakup. Right? 

She’d gone to Fabian and Gideon and they’d helped her make sense of the confused thoughts and feelings. It had helped her feel so much better and all she wanted to do was go back to them. And since they were both at their apartment, she figured it wouldn’t hurt to do so. She could help them with their apartment and they could assure her she wasn’t a horrible person. 

“I have to go,” she told Lucius softly. “But I’ll… I won’t avoid you.”

“Alexia-,”

She hurried away, unwilling to continue their discussion. She needed Fabian and Gideon. 

Alexia made her way through the castle quickly. She used Pollux’s floo to get to the apartment. When she got there, what she found was not a slightly messy apartment and two laughing redheads. 

No, she found upturned furniture. She found scorch marks on the door. She found broken windows. She found blood. She found four dead bodies, two of them belonging to Death Eaters. 

The other two belonged to Fabian and Gideon Prewett. 

At the sight of them, Alexia felt everything go abruptly numb for only a moment before it hit her suddenly and she let out a loud scream. As the scream erupted from her lips, a large circle of fire exploded from her as well. 

There were three others in the apartment. At the sound of her screams, they ran toward her. Immediately, two of the Death Eaters were burned and killed by her fire. As her scream died in her lunds, the fire receded to just her hair. The fire didn’t hurt her or her hair - it looked somewhat like the way her hair sparked, but much more violent. 

She turned toward the last Death Eater, tears running down her face. Her fury and grief filled her chest and it  _ hurt _ . It hurt and the only way she knew to release it was to attack him.

Their duel began quickly. They traded curses, hexes, and used shields to the best of their ability. To her complete frustration, he was clearly holding back. When he purposely shot a curse to the left of her and it ended up cutting into Gideon’s body, she let out another scream. Instead of fire, a violent gust of air swept through the room. It knocked him back against the wall and threw his mask off of him.

Dolohov stood in front of her, struggling to keep his shield up. Staring at him, she felt dizzy. He’d taken care of her, kept her safe. He’d been  _ kind _ . 

He’d helped kill Fabian and Gideon. 

Alexia charged at him. Not expecting her to run at him, he was unable to keep her away. When she got close enough, she dug her dagger into his stomach and pulled it back out. She pushed it up to his neck. 

The sight of a sobbing woman with fiery hair and a dagger to his neck was enough to make Dolohov put his hands up. 

“ _ Hermione _ -,”

“I fucking forgot!” she interrupted, glaring at him as she cried. “I forgot Sirius and I knew- I couldn’t forget again and I fucking forgot! And I can maybe save Jamie but I didn’t fucking save them. What fucking use am I if I can’t save the people I  _ know _ are going to die?” 

The dagger pressed up harder against his neck and he put a hand on hers to keep it from accidentally killing him. “ _ Let me go, Hermione _ .”

“ _ And you _ !” she snapped, her eyes widening to glare at him. “ _ I should’ve fucking known not to trust you. I should’ve listened to Lucius. If you’re willing to treat me like that in the future- making me watch Sirius die should’ve been the only sign I needed. You hurt me four years ago and you’ll hurt me again in twenty, it doesn’t fucking matter. And in all of this, you think you’re guiltless, don’t you _ ?”

Dolohov watched her as the fire in her hair began to fade to sparking. She’d dropped her hand to her side and was breathing heavier. “ _ You are from the future _ .”

“ _ You killed them _ ,” she whispered, turning to stare at her friends. “ _ How could you kill them _ ?”

“ _ Hermione- _ ,”

“ _ Tell me _ !” she yelled, turning back to look at him. “ _ Why did you do it _ ?” 

“ _ Why do you only care when it is someone close to you _ ?” he shot back, raising his voice. “ _ You already knew what I am. _ ”

Alexia grabbed his arm as she began to fall. He caught her despite his surprise when she passed out entirely, the anger, grief, and guilt too much for her to handle. He picked her up and with one last glance at the burned room and bodies around them, carried her to the floo. 

They came out the other side in Fabian’s office. Dolohov dropped her carefully on the couch against the wall and stepped back into the floo. 

* * *

When Alexia awoke again a minute later, she was not at all confused by how devastated she felt. She was, however, confused by where she was. She recognized it as the DADA office, but it wasn’t pink as she’d seen it earlier that night and there was a mound of parchment on the desk compared to the tidy and well kept office that it had been for the past year. 

Carefully, she got to her feet and stepped toward the door. When she felt around for her wand, she didn’t find it there. She did find a  _ very _ sharp and bloody knife - or dagger, she thought - so she gripped it in her hand and stepped out of the room. 

The halls were somewhat empty. It didn’t look like nighttime anymore, to her surprise. It seemed to be midday if the light from the windows said anything. The students that occasionally walked by didn’t look familiar to her, but a few of them nodded or said hello to her even as they gave her odd, curious looks. 

Despite her confusion, Alexia began making her way down the stairs. She wasn’t sure what had happened or how she’d gotten back to Hogwarts, but she figured she could find Harry and Ron in the Infirmary. The stairs were hard to manage with how shaky she was, but eventually she found her way down to the first floor. She walked past the Great Hall with barely a glance inside and began walking past the library. 

“Alexia!” 

Alexia continued walking, sucking in slow breaths as the events of the battle hit her. She was still shaking and felt a bit like falling, so she grabbed the wall for support. To her surprise, an arm wrapped around her to help her stand up. When she looked over, she yelped and jumped back. 

“ _ Malfoy _ ?” Alexia gasped, raising her hand. “ _ Stay away from me _ .”

He looked her over with what she thought might be concern. “English, please.”

Her mouth opened and closed. Had she not been speaking English? It had been so long since she’d spoken Russian, so why had she? “Stay away from me.”

“What happened?” he asked her patiently. She followed his gaze and saw that her clothes were somewhat burned up. 

“Oh my god,” she breathed, grabbing her outer robes. They’d taken the brunt of whatever had happened and were essentially ruined. “I don’t… remember.” 

Lucius dug into a bag he was holding. It didn’t look like it was his, but he still dug around until he found a potion and held it out to her. “You need to take this.” 

Alexia scoffed. “You first.” 

To her surprise, he dropped a bit of it into his mouth. She watched carefully and when nothing happened, she frowned. 

“What does it do?” 

“It’s a bit like a wit sharpening potion,” he said slowly. “It’ll just make everything clearer. You’ll remember what happened.” 

“Whose bag is that?” she asked, taking the potion from him curiously. 

“It’s yours,” he said slowly. “You forgot it. I saw you walking by and you look…” 

Alexia glanced between him and the bottle a few times before she finally tipped it back. Once more, she fell. When she came to, she was leaning against the wall with Lucius kneeling next to her. All at once, the horror and grief hit her and she began shaking.

“Hey,” Lucius said softly, taking her hand. “What happened, Lexi?” 

The image of Fabian and Gideon’s dead bodies flashed through her mind and she whimpered. They both had obviously fought hard. There were pools of blood around them and their injuries were clearly extensive. 

“They’re dead,” she whispered to Lucius, tears falling again. “They killed them, Lucius, they’re- they’re  _ dead _ .”

“Who, Alexia?” he asked gently. “Who died?” 

Alexia looked at him. Saying the words felt so hard. As much as she knew they were dead and had said someone was dead, she didn’t want to apply the words to them out loud. They’d become brothers to her and their deaths were devastating. 

“How did this happen?” he tried, waving at her robes. “Are you hurt?” 

She shook her head quietly. “I saw them and- I just… the fire killed two of them. I’m okay.” 

“Where were you going?” he asked her finally. 

She shook her head. “The Infirmary. I thought I’d find Harry and Ron there.” 

Lucius nodded and sat there quietly, her hand in his as she tried to calm herself and answer his question. They got a few looks as people passed by every once in a while, but no one said anything to either of them. 

A few minutes passed before Alexia spoke again, her voice a soft whisper. 

“Fabian and Gideon.” 

Lucius looked back at her to find tears streaming down her face. “Who do you need, Alexia?” 

“I don’t- I don’t know,” she shook her head. “I don’t know.” 

He got to his feet and offered her his hand. Hesitant, she grabbed it and stood up as well. They walked in silence through the castle together until they reached Pollux’s classroom. Inside was Regulus, who was sitting with a second year girl. 

Lucius told her to stay by the door and walked over to Regulus. “Something’s happened. She needs you.” 

Regulus looked up at him first and then at his girlfriend. She stood by the door looking rather… crispy. Aside from that, she was shaking and crying. “What happened?” 

“Fabian and Gideon Prewett were killed,” Lucius answered. “Is Pollux here?” 

“He’s in his office,” Regulus confirmed softly, turning to the young girl. “I’m sorry, Lacey, but I have to go.” 

Lacey breathed out in relief and immediately began packing her things up. Regulus ignored Lucius as he moved into Pollux’s office and instead walked over to Alexia and pulled her into his arms. 

* * *

**April 5th, 1977**

The funeral was held in Prewett Manor. 

The day itself felt… surreal. Alexia was invited along with the rest of the Marauders. They arrived for the viewing at one that afternoon and when they walked into the very large room, they saw the entire Order there as well as friends and family. 

Alexia stood frozen in the door as the boys, unnoticing, moved on. The room was set up beautifully. There were pictures all over of both of them at all ages with each other, alone, or various other people. Aside from that, there were a great deal of flowers around the place, and a small table that had an elf and a few calming draughts, no doubt for emergencies. 

“Did you know them well?” 

Alexia turned on her heel to find three familiar faces standing behind her. She hadn’t run into or spoken to Arthur and Molly yet, mostly because she didn’t want to. Taking in a shaky breath, she nodded. “I- yes, I did. We went to school together for a few years and we kept in touch. I became very close with them both, actually. I’m Alexia Potter.” 

“Mother mentioned you,” Molly said softly. “I’m Molly Weasley. This is my husband Arthur and our son, Bill.” 

“Hello,” Alexia smiled at them, her eyes landing on Bill. He was around seven, she thought, but he looked very curious about her. Nothing had changed, then. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to hold things up. It’s just- the last I saw them…” 

“Fabian worked at Hogwarts, didn’t he?” Arthur asked her. She blinked a few times and tried to smile again. 

“Yes. He actually… we talked the morning he left. Told me not to get into trouble.” 

“Did you?” Bill asked her curiously. Alexia’s mind wandered to their apartment when she’d killed two Death Eaters and screamed at Dolohov and accidentally revealed her secret. 

“I did a bit, yes,” she answered. “I’m sure they’d both scold me for it. If it helps, I won.”

“I like her,” Bill whispered loudly to his mother. 

James hurried over and put an arm around her. “Okay, Lex?” 

“Um…” she nodded once. “This is my brother James.”

“Thank you both for coming,” Molly told them, glancing at her husband. “We should go.” 

“Oh, of course.”

“Mum, I want to stay here with her,” Bill declared. Molly pursed her lips. 

“She doesn’t need you bothering her, William.”

“Oh, I don’t mind,” Alexia assured her. “He seems lovely.” 

“Behave,” Arthur said firmly before guiding his wife away from them. Once they were gone, James looked at his sister more closely. 

“You sure you’re okay, Lex? After you last saw them, are you sure it’s a good idea to be here?”

“I’ll be okay,” she assured him, glancing at Bill. “So, is this your first funeral?” 

“Yeah. Wish it wasn’t my uncles, though.”

“Well, they all sorta suck,” she admitted. “I’ve been to a few. It’s especially hard at your age because you’ve got a shorter attention span. It probably matches Jamie’s.” 

“Hey!” James exclaimed. “I do not have a short attention span, you do.” 

“I never mentioned mine,” Alexia pointed out. Bill laughed at them. 

“I like you guys,” he decided. “You get to go to Hogwarts?” 

“Yep,” James confirmed. The small trio began wandering into the room together as they talked. “We’re sixth years. After this year, we’ve got one left before we graduate.” 

“Woah,” Bill said, his eyes wide. “So you know lots of magic, huh?”

“Lexi knows more than I do, but I’d like to think I’m pretty good,” James grinned. “Wanna see some?” 

“Yeah!” 

“Hm… what’s your favorite color?” 

“Green,” Bill grinned, watching as James pulled out his wand. He pointed it at the laces on Bill’s shoes and turned them green for the boy. “That’s so cool. What’s your favorite type of magic? What’s the  _ hardest _ ?” 

“My favorite is transfiguration,” James answered. “The hardest is probably runes, which is why I dropped it.” 

“I reckon you’ll  _ love _ runes,” Alexia told Bill knowingly. “You know what? I bet you’ll be a curse breaker. The best there is.” 

Bill screwed up his face. “Don’t they just look at books all day? Sounds boring.” 

“No, not at all,” she disagreed. “You can go all over the world, but in Egypt, you can go through tombs and pyramids and check all the artifacts for curses. You can fight the nastiest of things. And you know what? You can even help heal people if they’ve been cursed badly.”

Bill’s eyes widened in wonder. “Mum just said it was reading all day. That sounds so cool! I love Egypt. I’m definitely gonna be a curse breaker now.”

“You know, Lexi was taught by a curse breaker,” James told him. “I bet she could teach you a few things.” 

Alexia was fairly certain she would break time or something if she taught Bill something he’d taught her but she nodded along anyway. “I could. Maybe this summer you could come to Potter Manor and I could show you how.” 

“Yes!” Bill exclaimed excitedly, earning them a few looks. “I like you. Can I marry you?” 

Alexia covered her mouth to keep from laughing. “Unfortunately, I have a boyfriend.”

“That’s okay, I’ll wait.” 

* * *

There was an Order meeting later that night to discuss the death of the twins, how it happened, and what would happen from there on out. So far, no one in the Order knew what had happened except that the twins and four Death Eaters had died. Alexia was still trying to decide what she’d do when they got on the topic. 

For that meeting, she’d come as herself and not an older version. She’d done that for the last few meetings. Dumbledore had explained that since she kept getting caught up in battles in and out of school, he and her parents thought it best she be informed. Truthfully, they were just running out of de-aging potions as everyone who provided them had begun asking questions and it had raised questions in Voldemort’s ranks of who could possibly need so much of the potion. 

“As we all know, Fabian and Gideon Prewett passed away the other day,” Dumbledore said. “Their funeral was today. I normally would wait for this meeting, but as it is the only day we can all meet, we must discuss it. Unfortunately, we know nothing of what happened-,"  


“I do,” Alexia said, grimacing even as she spoke. Everyone turned to look at her in surprise. She wanted to snap at them for looking at her like that, suspiciously, for the murder of her friends. 

“In that case, please tell us what happened,” Dumbledore requested, waving for her to stand. She did, squeezing her hands into fists. 

“Saturday, Fabian went to help Gideon fix up their apartment,” she began slowly, trying to keep calm. “He told me as much because he stopped to talk to me before he left. Later, I got upset and wanted to talk to them, so I floo’d over to their apartment and… I found them, two dead Death Eaters, and three Death Eaters that were alive."  


“But there were only four and they were all dead,” Dung told her. She shot him a dark glare. 

“I’m… I was really close with both of them. Recently, I’ve been learning more about elemental magic under Fabian’s suggestion because a project we’re- we  _ were _ working on caused accidental magic that showed itself in the form of fire or fiendfyre. When I saw them… there was accidental magic. I sort of blew up and killed the two closest to me.”

“But there was one more?” Hestia Jones asked her. She nodded. 

“That one… um, I dueled him a bit, yelled at him, and then… had an episode,” she winced, glancing at her concerned parents. “I woke up in my episode in Fabian’s office. Lucius found me walking past the library and gave me my potion as I’d left my bag with him in trying to get away and to the twins so quickly."

“Do you know who the last Death Eater was?” Deadalus Diggle questioned her. Careful not to hesitate, she shook her head. 

“I don’t know who he was or why he took me to the castle and didn’t kill me,” she lied. She wasn’t willing to give them his name until she talked to him again. The feeling of betrayal was too strong to turn him in without answers. 

“How did you manage the fire?” Benjy Fenwick questioned her curiously. “Elemental magic is extremely rare and dangerous, dear.” 

“I don’t really know,” she admitted. “I was so… I wasn’t able to consciously control it, but I think it moved to my hair instead. Oh, I also used wind to fight the other one.” 

“Fabian was coaching you in elemental magic?” Dumbledore wondered. Alexia shook her head quietly. 

“He suggested I read up on it. He told Pollux and Pollux got me a book from Arcturus on it.”

“Thank you,” Dumbledore nodded at her and turned back to the discussion he’d begun. “Evan Rosier was one of the killed in the fight, which means there is a spot in Voldemort’s upper ranks. We will be asking one of our spies to attempt to take this spot when he graduates next year.”

“Who is it?” Sturgis Podmore questioned sharply. 

“Lucius Malfoy,” the man answered. 

“No,” Alexia exclaimed immediately. She knew he’d get there eventually, but immediately after graduating? She didn’t want him in so much danger immediately. 

“Miss Potter, he is in a wonderful position to do so,” he told her. “I understand you are close with him, but this was his decision, was it not?”

“Yes, but-,” 

“I’d appreciate if you could pass along the message, then.” 

Alexia closed her mouth and settled on glaring at him for the rest of the meeting. She’d just lost two of her closest friends and he wanted her to ask Lucius to get close to Voldemort? It frustrated her to no end. Everything would only get worse, she knew. 

Fabian and Gideon’s deaths were only the beginning. 

* * *


	37. Young Volcanoes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus Does Not Trust Dolohov

**Chapter Thirty-Seven**

_ When Rome’s in ruin, _

_ We are the lions free of the Colosseumes _

_ In poison places, we are anti-venom _

_ We’re the beginning of the end. _

**April 23rd, 1977**

Mary was just walking from the library back to her dorm. 

She had noticed Mulciber glaring at her ever since January when Alexia had dueled Mulciber. She figured it was because she’d so confidently mentioned that even if Mulciber hadn’t underestimated Alexia, the girl would’ve won. She’d mentioned it to Alice and Marlene, but nothing had come of it except for glaring, so she hadn’t really thought she was in much danger. 

She was wrong. 

Just as she turned into an empty corridor, a silent curse hit her shoulder, knocking her to the ground. Whatever the curse was, it had taken a chunk out of her shoulder and left her bleeding. When she managed to roll onto her back, she found Mulciber stalking over to her with his wand out and pointed at her. 

“Dirty half-blood,” he spat, throwing another curse at her. This one felt dark and hit her ribs painfully. She could feel it spreading out inside of her and groaned in pain. “You need to learn your place and shut up.” 

Mary shifted a little and carefully pulled her wand out from her pocket. He cast Incendio and lit her robes on fire. She let out a scream and put them out with her wand. Just before he could curse her again, she put up a shield to protect her. 

Hearing footsteps moving quickly toward them because of her scream, Mulciber snarled at her once more and ran away. Mary did her best to sit up but ended up just falling down again. When the footsteps got closer to her, she caught sight of the people and breathed out roughly in relief.

“Oh my god,” Lily gasped, dropping to her knees. “Oh, Merlin, Mary. What happened?” 

“Mulciber,” she managed, watching as James cast a patronus. Once it had run off, he also got to his knees and began working. He put a stasis charm on her ribs and began cleaning out the wound on her shoulder. 

“I’ve seen this before,” he told them. “It’s a gouging hex. Madam Pomfrey can heal you up.” 

“What about this?” Lily asked. She used her wand to push away the shirt a little and reveal the nasty dark curse spreading throughout her chest. 

“Lexi might know,” James muttered nervously. “How does it feel?” 

“Draining,” Mary answered weakly. “What’s going to happen to me?” 

“You’ll be okay,” Lily assured her, getting to her feet. “I’m going to levitate you to the Infirmary, okay? It might hurt a little.” 

“I’m going to go get someone to help,” James told his girlfriend gently. “I’ll meet you guys there.” 

Lily barely acknowledged him as she carefully levitated Mary. Mary whimpered in pain and wrapped her arms around herself. The walk to the Infirmary was agonizingly long, but by the time they got there, it seemed James had sent a Patronus to Madam Pomfrey because she was waiting for them.

* * *

By dinner, news of Mary’s attack had spread. It wasn’t as if she was the first person to be attacked, of course, but she was the first person to be attacked so viciously. In the end, it had been Sirius that recognized the curse. It was one that his mother had used on him quite a bit as a child and had even used at Christmas. They’d called for Pollux and the man had healed her up quickly enough. 

Everyone had an opinion on the attack. Most students, even some Death Eaters, thought it was reckless and shouldn’t have happened. A great deal of the Slytherin Death Eaters, however, seemed to think it was funny. 

More than the school had heard of it, though. Someone in the Daily Prophet caught wind of it and soon, every major Wizarding publication had said something about it. Along with the recent death of the twins, the Wizarding world took the story as a sign that things were getting much worse than they’d expected. 

Mary was released from the Infirmary only a few hours later. According to Madam Pomfrey, she would be in pain but alright so long as she continued taking the potions Pollux had gotten for her. That night in Gryffindor, someone - Sirius - threw a party to celebrate her status as living. It was an interesting way to change the mood of the House, who was generally pissed at the fact that one of their own had been so cruelly attacked in school. It took a very long scolding from McGonagall and five students - the Marauders - getting detention to keep the House from retaliating. 

* * *

**May 5th, 1977**

WIth no DADA professor, Pollux offered to fill in again as he’d done the plans the year before. There had been discussion on whether or not that meant the curse wasn’t real and no one had come up with any real answers except that he wasn’t  _ technically _ the DADA professor and that the only reason he was filling in was because there were exams. 

Alexia refused to go to DADA. When her friends asked her about it, she snapped at them until they dropped it. When McGonagall had approached her about it, Alexia snapped at her as well. When the woman just stared at her, Alexia found herself breaking down into tears that led her Head of House to drop the subject and give her some tea. 

It was a month before Alexia found herself alone in the same room with Dolohov again. It only happened because she’d been given a detention from Slughorn when she accidentally knocked over his entire supply of cauldron cleaner. When she got to the potions room that night, she found Dolohov there and lazily cleaning out some beakers in front of him. 

Alexia stood in the door feeling sick. She wasn’t sure how she could talk to him again. The thought to skip detention crossed her mind, but she knew she’d be reported to McGonagall and that wasn’t something she needed with how quick the woman was to punish her. 

Feeling nauseous and dizzy, she stepped into the room and past Dolohov. He glanced up at her as she walked back to the office, only to find no one there. Frustrated, she turned to look at Dolohov and did what she absolutely did not want to do - she spoke to him. “ _He_ _ left _ ?” 

“ _ He left me in charge of your detention _ .” 

Alexia tensed, glaring at him. “ _ I think I’d rather die, thanks. _ ” 

“ _ It is your choice. I, for one, would not like to be punished by McGonagall. _ ”

“ _ I’d rather be punished by her than sit with the person that killed two of my closest friends. _ ”

Dolohov’s eyes flashed. “ _ Sit, Potter. We have some talking to do _ .”

Alexia weighed her options. If he attacked her - because she wasn’t sure anymore if he would - she felt relatively safe. She had both of her daggers as always and she was still getting better with the new magic she’d used the last time she’d fought him. “ _ You answer my questions first." _

“ _ I will consider it. Ask away. _ ” 

Sitting down across from him, she picked up a few stir sticks and began the process of properly cleaning them. She knew they had to be completely sterilized or the remnants of the previous potions could cause disastrous reactions with the new ones. “ _ Why did you kill them? _ ”

Dolohov looked up at her and caught her eye. “ _ I didn’t. We were sent there to capture them, not kill them. _ ”

“ _ What happened, then _ ?” she asked, confused. “ _ Someone lost their temper _ ?”

“ _ They were dead when we got there, Hermione. There were two sent ahead of us and they were dead as well. I assume they killed each other. _ ”

“ _ That’s not possible _ ,” Alexia disagreed, suddenly very confused. “ _ The two Death Eaters were killed using Killing Curses. Fabian and Gideon didn’t have traces of any magic on their core, only their bodies. They would’ve had time to get out of there. _ ”

“ _ And we may have figured that out, had you not come and… blown up. _ ”

Alexia frowned and dropped her hands in her lap. “ _ You really didn’t kill them _ ?” 

“ _ No, I did not _ .” 

“ _ Fuck _ ,” she cursed, putting her head in her hands. “ _ Fuck! _ ”

“ _ I have questions of my own now, and I think it’s time you answered me honestly _ ,” he told her clearly. When she looked back up at him, he was staring at her expectantly. “ _ You said quite a bit that day. _ ”

“ _ I could just Obliviate you again _ ,” she muttered bitterly. She dropped her hands and leaned back against the desk behind her. “ _ Go ahead. _ ”

“ _ You are from the future _ ,” he stated. “ _ You said twenty years _ ?”

“ _ I came from 1998 _ ,” she answered easily. “ _ And appeared here in 1971. Dumbledore placed me with James and our parents. _ ”

“ _ How did you come to be here _ ?” 

“ _ Severus _ ,” she said. “ _ I was pretty pissed at the time, ready to curse him. He was an arse to me in school. _ ”

“ _ He knows _ ?”

“ _ No, _ ” she disagreed quickly, making a face. “ _ I’ve nearly told him a few times, though. No, before he sent me here he told me I will come to him in 1979 and tell him what happened and what he did. I can’t tell him until then and truthfully, I wouldn’t even if I could. _ ”

Dolohov hummed and watched her closely. “ _ Who does know, then? Assumedly Malfoy does _ .” 

Alexia remembered what she’d said - she should’ve listened to Lucius. “ _ Yes, he does. He was the first, aside from my parents and Dumbledore, to find out. I blame that one on you, actually. Fuck you. _ ”

He let out a small laugh. “ _ Something I have not done yet _ ?”

She screwed up her face. “ _ You are completely disgusting in the future, you know that? Keeping an eye on me, making sure I’m not me yet, I can understand that. The things you did… Lucius told me not to ignore them. He told me that despite what you do here, you’ll still become that man over time. _ ”

“ _ What is it that I did to you, Hermione _ ?” 

Alexia hesitated. She didn’t specifically mind telling him, but  _ how _ ? She wasn’t sure he’d believe her if she just said it, but she didn’t trust him in her mind. She wasn’t sure she trusted him at all. She didn’t know what to think of him. 

She leaned over and grabbed a small glass vial. Using her finger, she removed the memories and placed them inside and handed them over to him. “ _ Watch these when you get the chance. The last time I saw you before coming here was during the final battle, which is where I left from. I’d forgotten with everything going on, but I had a nightmare in which you, twenty-one years from now, curse me and call me Alexia. Now… that seems odd to me because you either call me Potter or Hermione. _ ”

“ _ We fought a lot _ ,” he said, turning the vial over in his hands thoughtfully. 

“ _ You know when you tried to kill me in the woods _ ?” she asked, pushing her shirt up to show her hip and the deep, dark scar there. “ _ You hit me with that same curse in the same spot in the future. _ ”

“ _ You mentioned Obliviating me again _ ,” he said after a moment of eyeing the scar curiously. Alexia dropped her head against the desk behind her tiredly. “ _ This is what I knew _ .”

“ _ I had to Obliviate you and Jamie, _ ” Alexia confirmed softly, her eyes closing. “ _ Other than you and Lucius, Sirius, Remus, Regulus, and Narcissa know. Fabian and Gideon… they did, too. _ ”

“ _ You told me I forced you to watch Black die _ ,” Dolohov told her, watching her wince. “ _ When does he die _ ?”

“ _ 1996, _ ” she answered softly. “ _ June 18th, 1996. We were in the Department of Mysteries. Sirius showed up and fought with Harry. I was dueling Lucius and you grabbed me and held onto me and made me watch Sirius die. Watch my best friend try to chase after him. _ ”

_ “You understand that now I must do this because you have told me I will _ ,” he questioned her. She spared a glance at him, opening her eyes. 

“ _ I don’t… a lot doesn’t make sense yet _ ,” she told him slowly. “ _ There are some things that Lucius did that don’t make sense to me yet and I just have to… wait. You’re just… more confusing. I don’t know how to trust you when you did that shit in the future, Antonin."  
_

“ _ Hermione, the only reason I would hurt you would be if the Patriarch forced me to or if I knew I had to. I now know I have to hurt you and do whatever is in these memories, _ ” he told her, tapping the vial. “ _ Feel however you wish about me, but I did not lie when I said I care for you. _ ”

Alexia shook her head quietly. “ _ Earlier today I thought you’d killed my friends. Now… _ ” she sighed in frustration. “ _ I’m not supposed to trust you. Since I was sixteen - the first time - I’ve known not to. You’re fucking it all up. _ ”

He smirked at her. “ _ You do make a great deal more sense being from the future. I did research on Hermione Granger. She doesn’t exist yet. _ ”

“ _ I was born September 19th, 1979 _ ,” she told him. She waved her hand at the small pile of clean objects they’d set to the side and watched them as they levitated themselves back to their homes. “ _ My parents were Helen and Richard Granger _ . _ They’ll have already been married by now. They’ll get pregnant next year and lose that baby around the middle of the pregnancy. Then at the beginning of 1979, they get pregnant with me. _ ” 

“ _ And they are muggles _ ?” 

She nodded. “ _ Magic didn’t go over too well with them. They tried to go with it at first, but some… things happened in my second year. I got petrified and they didn’t hear from me for so long. Things went bad after that. They don’t remember me anymore. _ ”

“ _ You Obliviated your parents _ ?” he asked in surprise. She hummed in response and he looked at her curiously. “ _ Would you care to remove the Obliviation on me _ ?” 

Blinking, she frowned. “ _ I don’t actually know how to do that. _ ”

“ _ Adhuc Recordabor _ ,” he told her. “ _ It is much simpler than you expect. Since you didn’t remove the entire memory, it should be possible. With more in depth memory removals, restoring the memories would be much more difficult. Sometimes impossible. _ ”

Alexia raised her hand at him and took in a deep breath. She was concerned she’d mess up the spell and really fuck something up. He just looked at her, much too trusting, and waited. “ _ Adhuc Recordabor _ !” Dolohov’s eyes went blank for a moment as the memories she’d taken from him slid back into place with the other memories from that day. When it had been about three minutes and he hadn’t moved or spoken, she moved closer and poked his chest hard. “ _ Antonin _ ?"

“ _ You know the futures of a great deal of us, don’t you _ ?” 

Breathing out in relief, Alexia nodded and relaxed by his side. They began working again as they spoke and it was mostly a distraction for her. “ _ I’ll be able to bring Regulus back. Sirius might not actually die, but I’m not sure. Jamie… I’m trying _ .” 

“ _ You’re trying what the other one did _ ,” Dolohov stared at her like she was stupid. “ _ How is that going? _ ”

Alexia waved her hand at her eyes and removed the glamour. She tensed when he grabbed her face in his hands and looked into her eyes with a deep frown. “ _ It could be worse. There’s been definite progress. I just… haven’t worked on it in about a month. _ ” 

“ _ This is dangerous _ ,” he told her softly, holding her gently. “ _ How much do you truly know about this _ ?” 

“ _ I know it didn’t kill Mia _ ,” Alexia told him, almost whispering. “ _ I know I have to save my brother. I know that if I’d tried harder, I might’ve been able to save Fabian and Gideon, too. _ ” 

“ _ And if this were to cost your life _ ?” 

“ _ At least they’d be safe. _ ” 

“What are-  _ Alexia _ ?” 

Alexia jumped back from Dolohov and hit her head on the desk. She looked toward the door where Regulus had stepped into the room with one of the students he tutored. “Shit, Reg.”

“ _ Your eyes _ ,” Dolohov told her gently, waving his wand at her. His glamour fell over the golden eyes and she sucked in a sharp breath and jumped to her feet. When she moved over to Regulus, he took a step back from her. 

“Reg, it’s not-,”

“Kasia, please excuse us,” Regulus said to the third year Slytherin. She looked between the three of them and hurried out of the room. Once she was gone, Regulus turned to stare at his girlfriend. “Explain.” 

Alexia glanced back at Dolohov to find him smirking at her. The look was infuriating and as much as she wanted to hex him, she had more important and time sensitive matters to attend to. “When I found- shit. Dolohov was there when I found Fabian and Gideon.”

“ _ What _ ?” Regulus turned to Dolohov, his eyes flashing. “You killed them?” 

“I did not,” Dolohov answered lazily. “Nor was I going to.”

“Look, that’s beside the point,” Alexia told her boyfriend, reaching out to touch his arm. “We fought. I was… obviously very upset and I ended up saying some things that… I told him I’m from the future, Reg. I yelled it at him. And I’ve been avoiding him ever since because I thought he killed my friends, but he didn’t, and so we had to discuss… everything.” 

“This does not explain why he was touching you, Alexia,” Regulus told her, his eyes dark. “Or how he’d gotten so close to you.”

“We got on the topic of the time turner,” she continued, nodding. “And I had moved closer because I thought I’d killed him or something when I removed the  _ Obliviation _ -,” Dolohov snorted, earning a glare from both of them. “And then I took the glamour off of my eyes to show him and- it was all just very unfortunate, Reg."

“I don’t think you were doing anything wrong, Lexi,” he told her carefully. “But I am concerned for how close you are getting to him.” 

“It’s just-,” Alexia frowned in frustration and glanced between them. “Avoiding him isn’t possible anymore, Reg. The safest thing I can do is not fight him, even if it means… being friendly.” 

“He could hurt you,” he told her softly, touching her cheek gently. “You should go back to your dorm.”

“I- Reg, I  _ can’t _ ,” she told him with a frown. “I have detention.”

“Slughorn isn’t even here, Lexi.”

“He left me in charge,” Dolohov smirked. “I am a Prefect, Black.” 

Regulus looked between them slowly before his eyes settled on Alexia. Very purposely, he stepped closer and, grabbing her face gently, he kissed her. She breathed out into the kiss, feeling some of the stress melt off of her. When it ended - much later than it should’ve - he stepped back. “I’ll be right here if you need me, okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” she promised. She pecked his cheek once more before she made her way back to the front of the room where all of the items that needed cleaning had been placed. They were mostly on the floor, which was where the two of them had been sitting. Ready to get back to work, she sat down.

* * *

Two hours later and Alexia was lying on her back on the floor. She’d levitated a small line of objects to clean and used her free hand to clean them or, occasionally, toss a hex at Dolohov. 

“ _ I did not curse him, as much as I wanted to _ ,” Alexia disagreed, waving her hand at the cup measurer to send it back to the container of wool of bat. “ _ My parents wouldn’t let me. _ ”

“ _ You were a twenty-year-old woman _ ,” Dolohov scoffed, staring at her. “ _ You can curse whoever you damn well want. _ ”

Alexia let out a small laugh. “ _ That’s what I thought, but no one agreed. I looked like a twelve-year-old girl. I often talk shit about him with Aberforth when I see him, though. I like his brother a great deal more than him. _ ”

“ _ Perhaps someday, if I get the chance, I will curse him for you _ .”

Alexia let out a laugh and covered her mouth. She hoped he had. 

“Lexi?” Regulus asked, glancing over. Her cheeks flushed. 

“We’re discussing cursing Dumbledore,” she answered honestly. “And how no one will let me.”

Kasia frowned. “Isn’t she supposed to be a Gryffindor?”

“If you get to know her, you’ll know she is definitely not a Gryffindor,” Regulus sighed. “Focus. You’ve got three more pages of this tonight.” 

“ _ If you knew _ ,” Dolohov began curiously, watching her spin a small glass container in the air in boredom. “ _ That in the future, I am a danger to you, why would you dose me _ ?”

Alexia’s eyes settled on her boyfriend again and she smiled fondly. “ _ Apparently, Reg heard you talking shit about Sirius and I. He was going to dose you, and I offered to help him do it in a much less trackable way than leaning over and tipping it into your drink. I really didn’t think you’d lose your shit over a stupid potion, Antonin. Apparently, your ego is bigger than I’d guessed." _

“He’s glaring at her,” Kasia whispered to Regulus. He looked over to find that the younger girl was right. It had been frustrating listening to them speaking every once in a while and never in English. Hearing his name and Sirius’s names had only made him more nervous.

“Lexi, why is he looking at you like that?” he sighed tiredly. Being around them for an extended period of time was exhausting. He was still afraid he’d look away and Dolohov would kill her. 

“I insulted his ego,” she explained. “But seriously, it has to be pretty fragile for a babbling beverage to encourage him to push me down some fucking stairs, Reg.”

“If you get yourself cursed, all of your friends will be very upset with me,” he told her. “Careful, Little Lion.”

“He won’t hurt me,” she waved him off. 

“ _ You are a Potter _ ,” Dolohov told her finally. “ _ It was expected of me. I had no intentions of continuing on until Malfoy stopped by to threaten me. _ ”

Alexia wasn’t entirely sure why she was surprised, but she was. “Lucius threatened you?” 

“ _ What _ ?” Regulus asked, turning away again. 

“ _ The curse I put on you should not have had the effect it had on you, _ ” Dolohov continued, ignoring Regulus. “ _ At the time, I assumed that, like any other twelve-year-old, you had barely felt any true pain. It is why I tortured you before I cast it. _ ”

“After pushing me down the stairs, Lucius threatened him,” Alexia huffed, crossing her arms. “And so he put that curse on me.”

“Lucius typically is not so… emotional,” Regulus replied. 

“I don’t get it, are they friends?” Kasia wondered, looking at Alexia and Dolohov curiously. “Everyone says he hurts her.”

“He’s an arse, but he doesn’t hurt me anymore,” Alexia answered her, waving a lid for a melting pot over to the seat next to Kasia where it belonged. 

“ _ Keep insulting me, Potter. It only flatters me. _ ”

She made a face and tossed another hex his way. He batted it away from him easily but quieted despite his smirk. She sat up with a bit of effort and looked up at Regulus. “Has Arcturus gotten back to you on where you’re staying this summer?”

“I assumed I’d go back home,” he frowned at her, confused. “Mother was punished, wasn’t she?”

“Well, sure,” she shrugged. “But I know your mother, Regulus. She loses one heir to torture and she’ll focus on the next.” 

“Arcturus stepped in at the last minute,” he pointed out. “He will not step in for me any sooner, Lexi.”

“Fucking bet,” she huffed, crossing her arms. “I met with him a few days ago.”

“ _ What _ ?” Regulus and Dolohov said together. She looked between them and the dumbfounded thirteen-year-old girl. 

“What? He told me we could talk. I told him you’re in danger too and he agreed Walburga is a fucking nightmare. He said he’d work on it.”

“What do you expect him to do with me?” Regulus wondered. “He wouldn’t willingly give both options for an heir to the Potters.”

“Mum and Dad are sitting down with him soon,” Alexia shrugged. “So you might go there. Anywhere but Grimmauld Place.” 

“I’m sorry, I’m still stuck on the idea that you were having a casual conversation with my  _ grandfather _ .”

“Well he said at Christmas that we could talk, we just recently found the time to do so.”

“Don’t the Potters and Blacks not get along?” Kasia asked her with a small frown. Alexia tilted her head in consideration. 

“Six years ago, I’d have said yes. Now, I think everyone is afraid of the dangerous bigots like Bellatrix and Walburga, so they don’t want to disagree. Everyone sitting around and not disagreeing… I don’t blame Reg, of course, but it almost got Sirius killed. So I feel like they have reason to be afraid. If you’d like a short answer, it’s no. Sirius, Regulus, Narcissa, Alphard, Pollux, and Arcturus all seem to like me well enough.”

“Well aren’t  _ you _ afraid of them?” 

Alexia snorted. “Only one of them and that person currently has no interest in me. Nah, I’m fine. Besides, Arcturus sent Pollux here to protect me. I think I’ll be fine.”

“Professor Black?” Kasia repeated, blinking. “He’s the one that skips his own classes, right?”

“He’s going to get fired for that,” Regulus confirmed with a sigh. 

“Nah,” Alexia disagreed. “I’ve been doing a lot of his work for him. Grading essays, setting lesson plans, finding reputable sources for everything. All he has to do is show up and say literally what I wrote down.” 

“ _ He doesn’t even do that _ ,” Dolohov reminded her lazily. “ _ You are wasting your time, Hermione. _ ”

“ _ Sitting here cleaning Slughorn’s lab items, yeah, _ ” she shot back. “ _ Are you really going to make me sit here until we’re done? _ ”

Dolohov chuckled. “ _ I was prepared to end your detention as soon as you asked me to, Potter. It certainly took you long enough. _ ”

Alexia took in and let out a deep, frustrated breath and got to her feet. She quickly moved her things to where they belonged. They’d gotten through a very large portion of everything, which meant Slughorn would likely let her get away with not finishing it. Once they were done, she moved over to her boyfriend and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Now that he’s done being a prat about my detention, I’m going to go back to my dorm and check on Lily.” 

* * *

**June 10th, 1977**

That year, the boys skipped the graduation ceremony. 

Alexia went. It was shorter and with a darker overall message from Dumbledore in the time of war. She spotted a few people who she knew would join the Order, some of whom would also die before she was even born. It was exhausting. 

Being there for her friends was not. Narcissa had invited Andromeda, Ted, and Tonks to the ceremony as it was a public place that was absolutely inappropriate to torture people in. Alexia ended up sitting between them and Lucius’s parents, who had smiled fondly at her. As they waited for the graduates after they’d all walked, she found herself stuck in conversation with Abraxas.

“Do you have any plans for your life after graduation?” he wondered. Alexia considered the question as she shifted Tonks on her knee, who had fallen asleep minutes earlier. 

“I’m thinking of working in the Ministry. In Creatures and Beings,” she answered him, tilting her head back to let her hair fall behind her shoulders. “I find I’m very passionate about the subject.” 

“Wonderful!” Abraxas nodded at her approvingly. “I do have some friends in that department. If you’d ever like to meet with them, feel free to write me.” 

“I’ll do that,” she said, mostly lying. Tonks began to shift a little in her arms, so Alexia bounced her knee for her, holding onto her tightly still. The thought crossed her mind that she was currently holding Remus’s wife as a small child and she did her best not to laugh.

“Aside from your career, do you have any other plans?” Abraxas asked her. When he glanced at her arm, she understood what he was referring to. 

“May I be blunt?”

“I’d appreciate it.” 

“Your Dark Lord would have killed me already had Antonin not stepped in,” she told him. “I don’t exactly feel welcome. I just want to stay out of trouble, Lord Malfoy.” 

“You aren’t very good at that, though, are you?”

“No, but a girl can dream,” she sighed. 

“Father,” Lucius said, gaining both of their attentions. His mother had, at some point, stood up to go find him and had left them alone to speak. “Alexia is only here to see a graduation, not to discuss the war.” 

“It’s fine,” Alexia waved him off and got to her feet. She hoisted Tonks onto her hip and smiled as Narcissa walked over to them. She hugged her friend and handed over the baby, who Narcissa smiled at in wonder. Tonks’s hair shifted from a deep black to a near-white blonde color to mimic Narcissa’s own. 

“She’s incredible,” Narcissa declared, smiling down at the baby. “Thank you for coming, Lexi, and for sitting with Andy.” 

“For some reason, your sister trusts me with a literal human life,” Alexia told her, glancing at the empty seats the family had been in. Andromeda and Ted had gone to speak with some of the few people in the Wizarding world that would still speak with them. “It’s terrifying. Kids are terrifying."

“What will you do when you have your own?” Abraxas asked her, amused. Lucius and Narcissa both laughed. 

“She doesn’t want children,” Lucius told his father. “And truthfully, knowing how well she takes care of herself, I fully support that.” 

“Lucius!” 

“Nah, he’s right,” Alexia waved the old man off. 

Narcissa’s eyes sharpened, staring past the younger girl. Lucius followed her gaze and stiffened, prompting Alexia herself to turn around. What she found was Dolohov and an older, similar looking man walking over to them. “Oh, dear. You should go.” 

“I’m going to jump off a bloody cliff,” Alexia muttered, slipping past Abraxas to hide fully behind Lucius. He was taller than her and also a bit broader, which meant he was actually a rather good hiding spot. When she glanced out again, nudging her friend’s arm out so she could see, she spotted Dolohov chuckling at her and still walking over. 

“Lord Dolohov,” Abraxas greeted with a handshake and a nod. “Wonderful to see you.” 

“Lord Malfoy,” Anatoly Dolohov nodded back. “Is that Alexia Potter hiding behind your son?” 

Lucius stepped aside carefully, earning a glare from Alexia. 

“Bloody traitor,” she muttered, straightening. She flashed a smile at Antonin. “Congrats on graduating… bye!” 

“Alexia,” Dolohov called after her. “It is now or we will visit your home.” 

Alexia cursed in French - because Russian was clearly not her best option - and turned back around. Abraxas and Lucius were both looking at her in shock at the colorful words she’d used, but she didn’t even notice. She squared her shoulders and stared down the Dolohov Patriarch. “Well, you’ve got me.” 

“You are quite difficult to find,” Anatoly told her, equally amused and annoyed. “It has been two years, dear.” 

“Which might suggest that I do not want to talk to you.” 

Abraxas looked at his son sharply with a clear question in his eyes - what the  _ hell _ was she doing? Lucius just frowned and shook his head in response. 

“We have much to discuss,” Anatoly decided. “Come, we will head to our home.” 

“Uh, no,” Alexia let out a small laugh. “First, I still have school. And second, the last time I let a Dolohov that I didn’t trust take me somewhere, he pushed me down a flight of stairs.” 

“I apologized,” Antonin defended. She stared at him. 

“No, you didn’t!” When Tonks began fussing, Alexia pulled her into her arms again. “Lovely to meet you, but I have to get Nymphadora back to her parents. I’ll see you… hopefully never.” 

“Miss Black will take her to her parents,” Anatoly demanded. “You will come with me and we will discuss what we need to discuss. Important matters.” 

“To you,” Alexia shot back. “I have no interest in anything you want to say to me. I have no interest in the arrangements you want to set up.”

“Alexia,” Lucius said sharply. She glanced back at him, surprised to see such stress on his face. She didn’t know much about the Dolohov family, but she assumed they weren’t any more dangerous than the Malfoy family. Dangerous, sure, but they could still handle being told off. “Go.” 

“Lucius-,”

“Alexia!” 

The girl in question spun around in confusion. Behind her, Lucius, and Narcissa was Arcturus. He walked up to them and put a hand on Narcissa’s back. “Is there trouble here?” 

“Not at all,” Anatoly insisted. He reached forward and gripped onto Alexia’s wrist and tugged her back. She stumbled a little bit and as Antonin caught her, she barely noticed the magical snake that appeared on her arm and bit the Dolohov Patriarch. “Black!”

“Get your hands off of her,” Arcturus told him calmly. “The young lady clearly does not wish to go anywhere with you, Dolohov.”

“It is bad form to grab a perfect stranger,” Abraxas agreed, much more willing to speak up with someone else so powerful on his side. 

“She is not-,” 

“I’ve never met you before,” Alexia snapped, cutting him off. She allowed Antonin to ensure she was steady before she stepped away and stood between Narcissa and Lucius. “And if I’ve been dodging you for two years, you might notice that I didn’t  _ want _ to meet you.”

“Miss Potter is a member of the House of Black,” Arcturus told Anatoly firmly. “She is under our protection.” 

“She is not yet,” Anatoly disagreed with a glare. “Where she goes is very dependent on the future, Black.” 

“Ah, that’s where you’re wrong,” Arcturus grinned smugly. He put a hand on Alexia’s shoulder. “She is, in fact, already a part of our House and has been for some time now.” 

“How-,” 

“Now, I’d very much like to meet this young lady,” Arcturus announced. Alexia let him pull Tonks into his arms and watched as her hair became black with some grey peppered in. It was a rather interesting look on a baby. 

When Anatoly walked away, it was alone. Antonin stayed behind to talk to them while the old man moved back over to speak with others at the ceremony. 

Arcturus, while playing with Tonks, was talking to Abraxas about the wedding that would come in winter. The conversation, despite being about them, did not include Narcissa or Lucius, so they were free to mingle however they wanted. Which, for them, meant standing with Alexia because they both thought she’d put way too much trust into Dolohov.

“This is awful,” she told all of them. “Because now all of you are going to go and do the things I know you’ll do and we’re just one step closer.” 

“I’ve always told you, you can’t avoid it,” Lucius reminded her gently. “And neither can we.” 

Alexia let out a dramatic sigh and rested her head on Narcissa’s shoulder. “I never even got to punch a Malfoy in third year.” 

“You wanted to punch Lucius?” Narcissa asked her in surprise. Alexia shrugged. 

“I punched Draco in third year,” she explained. “For being a complete arse. Saying horrible things, celebrating horrible things. Ron told me not to hex him so I punched him instead.”

“No one broke out of Azkaban in your third year, either,” Lucius told her with a chuckle. “I think that’s a good thing, Alexia.” 

“School will be so boring,” she continued to complain, this time with a small smile. “I’m stuck with only two Slytherins.”

“Marlene is in Slytherin.” 

“She’s a Gryffindor,” she waved the statement off. 

“You could leave,” Dolohov suggested. Alexia turned to look at him in surprise. “Seventh year is elective, and even if it wasn’t, you don’t have to take it.”

“Actually, I do,” she disagreed. “Before I could go to school for my seventh year, we had to go on the run. If I’d shown up at Hogwarts, I’d have been killed or captured, tortured, and then killed.”

“Cheery,” Narcissa sighed. “Alexia, dear, could we speak alone for a moment?” 

Confused, Alexia nodded and followed her friend away from the chairs. They stood under some trees near the edge of the forest. There was a nice breeze that did a lot to cool them down once they were under the shade of the trees. 

“Is everything alright?” Alexia asked. Narcissa smiled at her softly. 

“I hoped to ask you to be my maid of honor.” 

Alexia blinked a few times as the words tried to process. “But- Cissa, you’ve got sisters!”

“Yes, they will also be in my wedding. Andromeda will be there or the wedding will not happen, they know that.”

“That’s amazing, but- I don’t understand. Wouldn’t it be… weird?” 

“Why is that?” 

Alexia shifted, her eyes slipping over Narcissa’s fiance. “Well… because everyone knows I dated Lucius. Wouldn’t you be uncomfortable with that?” 

“Lexi, if that made me uncomfortable, or any lingering feelings between the two of you, I would not be with him, nor would I be your friend.” 

“Any- there aren’t-,”

“You’re a dreadful liar,” she informed her. “Do you know what I always dreamed of having in a marriage, Lexi? I dreamed of having friendship. Respect.  _ Trust _ . I wanted to enjoy being around my betrothed. I never hoped for any of it, but I dreamed of it. I have that with Lucius. Love is not our goal, nor will it ever be. If we find it later on, then so be it. I never expected him to get over you in a timely fashion, Lexi. No one that’s seen the way he looks at you could. He gives me what I hoped for and more. He treats me like a person and listens to me. I thank you for the gift you’ve given me. Without you, he and I likely would not be together. So of course I want you to be my maid of honor.” 

Alexia, lost for words, attacked Narcissa with a hug. The older woman laughed and hugged her back. Their friendship still surprised Alexia, and while it scared her that Narcissa seemed completely aware of the remaining feelings between Lucius and Alexia, she also felt blessed to be trusted so much. “You’re sure your family won’t try to drown me or something?” 

“I will make sure of it.” 

“I’d love to, Cissa.” 

* * *


	38. Aching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lmao rip (for like... a lot of people oops)

**Chapter Thirty-Eight**

_ I have a question _

_ It might seem strange _

_ How are your lungs? _

_ Are they in pain? _

**June 20th, 1977**

That year, a group of five teenagers went to Potter Manor for the summer. Dorea and Charlus didn’t mind at all. In fact, they were more than pleased to have them all there. Both of them assured Lily and Remus multiple times that they always wanted a lot of children and magic was finally giving them that. 

With summer came another increase in raids and, unfortunately, a decrease in Order members. More had joined, of course, but others had died or moved away or otherwise were unable to fight. Despite begging, James, Sirius, and Lily were all denied multiple times and told to come back when they graduated. Remus had no interest in fighting if he didn’t have to, but everyone else did. While Lily eventually caved and dropped it, James and Sirius were not finished. 

That day, Charlus and Alexia were sitting in the elder Potters’ room together while Dorea put on her jewelry. They were discussing plans for the day and what would happen the next - Arcturus was requesting to meet with Alexia again. 

There was a small knock on the door before the two boys entered together. The stubborn looks on their faces was caught by everyone else in the room immediately. James crossed his arms over his chest and looked at their father. 

“Dad, I know what you’ve said, but I still disagree.” 

“James-,”

“Look, it’s not because we’re angry and we want to fight,” Sirius continued for him quickly. “It’s because we know what can happen. We’ve been learning that since we met Lexi.” 

“And Lexi is in the Order,” James added. “You’re not nervous about that. She might be technically older, but she’s still your daughter. Why haven’t you stopped her?” 

“Alexia?” Dorea raised an eyebrow at the girl, who rolled her eyes at her brother. 

“Mum and Dad didn’t stop me because they  _ tried _ ,” she explained. “And they couldn’t. I found ways that are inaccessible to you to get around them and join the Order without them knowing. By the time they figured it out, it had been a year already. But my age is a factor, Jamie. I know how to handle a lot of situations and have been in these situations that you haven’t yet. That isn’t a bad thing.”

“But you’re down on numbers!” Sirius insisted. “You need our help.”

“What we  _ need _ ,” Charlus told him firmly. “Is for you to stay alive. For better or worse, Alexia has training and experience in these things already. When you both turn seventeen and graduate, we can’t stop you anymore. For now, you’re not joining.”

“I don’t want to hear about this again,” Dorea told them with a frown. “This is not up for discussion.” 

“But-,”

“And don’t even think about trying Dumbledore,” Charlus agreed. “We’ve already told him we don’t want you joining before you graduate.” 

“Lexi could die if she goes out there, you care less about her life than ours?” 

Everyone turned to look at James in shock. He even seemed surprised by his angry outburst, but he didn’t take it back. He stared down his parents firmly. 

“James Charlus,” Dorea said. Her voice was soft and she didn’t even sound angry but rather disappointed. 

“We have to go,” Charlus said, glancing at the clock. He looked back at his sons with a frown. “We will discuss this when we get home.” 

All three teenagers watched their parents walk into the floo and disappear. Once they were gone, Alexia closed her book and pulled her feet off of the table to stand up. Gripping her book in her hand, she shook her head at James and Sirius and left the room. 

* * *

Dorea and Charlus stepped out of the floo room and into chaos. There was a guard speeding down the hall at them and toward the room they’d just left. They had to step back to avoid being shoved. 

There was only one Death Eater there and he seemed to be dead already. He laid on the ground with blood coming from his chest. Next to him was smashed glass. Nothing had come out of it that they could see, but then again, everyone was panicking. 

They were in St. Mungo’s for a board meeting, so those in the large top floor of the hospital were mostly the people that ran or donated to the hospital. It meant that others like Henry Longbottom were stuck there with them. Spotting the man, they made their way over.

“Oh, dear,” he frowned at them upon sighting them. “Oh, I’d so hoped you hadn’t arrived yet.” 

“What’s happening, Henry?” Dorea demanded. “Is Augusta here?” 

“She stayed home,” he shook his head. “It’s bad. This- this Death Eater, he was like… what do the muggles call them? Suicide bombers?” 

“But the hospital is fine,” Charlus pointed out. “What did he do?” 

Henry grimaced. “It’s dragon pox. He let a pure sample of the disease into the air. Everyone on the floor has been infected already. I suspect you have been as well.” 

* * *

Lily rubbed James’s arm with a sigh. He’d gone to find her after blowing up and she’d managed to get him to tell her what had happened. While she knew how unfortunate what he’d said was, she also understood the sentiment on many levels. 

It wasn’t about Alexia, but really, wasn’t it? For James, at least, it was. The girl he’d been asked to protect years ago was allowed to go into fights and risk her life while he was stuck at home to worry about her. 

Aside from Alexia, he was hurt. They trusted his sister to be in the Order, go to the meetings and be aware of what was going on, but they didn’t trust him. It had to hurt. Lily wanted to know how things were progressing just as much as James and Sirius, but she’d done something they hadn’t: she’d talked to Alexia about it. 

Alexia had told her about what being pulled into and informed about a war had done to her while she tried to go to school. She didn’t regret it, but it tainted things for her. She was given information that she couldn’t, while at school, just forget. She knew things about her classmates. 

Even so, Lily knew that wouldn’t have been enough to put either of the boys off of it. She had a feeling they wouldn’t give up. 

Mipsy popped into the room, looking panicked. “Master James, you be needed at St. Mungo’s.” 

James’s head shot up. “What? Why? Is it Lexi?” 

“Missy Lexi be with Lord Black,” Mipsy shook her head. “It’s- it’s Lord and Lady.”

“Mum and Dad,” James repeated, panic in his eyes. “Thanks, Mipsy. Can you tell Sirius he needs to go get Lexi and take her there?” 

“Mipsy be doing it.”

He didn’t wait for the elf to pop out before he jumped to his feet and pulled Lily up as well.

“James what- what about Remus?” 

“He can’t,” he realized. “Lily Flower, can you stay here with him? I’ll let you know what’s happening when I figure it out.” 

Lily nodded immediately and followed him over to the floo. She managed to give him a small kiss before he disappeared in a panic. 

* * *

The aggressive and non-stop knocking on the door interrupted their conversation. Arcturus slowly set down his tea and adjusted himself before he waved the door open. Sirius rushed in and grabbed Alexia, pulling her to her feet. 

“Let go of me,” she snapped, smacking his hands away. “What the hell is wrong with you?” 

“Mum and Dad,” he told her, panic in his eyes. “Something’s wrong with them, Ash. They’re at St. Mungo’s.”

“They had a meeting there,” she told him slowly. “A board meeting. They’re fine, Sirius.” 

“No,” he insisted. “No, they’re not.” 

“Sirius-,”

“Alexia!” 

She fell silent and put down her tea. She didn’t bother to say goodbye to Arcturus before gripping onto Sirius and Apparating them out. 

When they appeared in the hospital, it was very full. People were crying, some were stoic and in shock, and others were very confused and scared. She used a Patronus to take them to their parents and followed it all the way to the elevators. 

And then the Patronus just went  _ down _ .

But the only floor below them was…

Alexia felt panic fill her chest and cast a new Patronus. This one took them out of the elevator and down a few halls until they reached an office. Bursting in, they caught sight of James, pale and frozen. In front of him was one Ted Tonks, who looked at them sadly.

“Come in,” he waved. They walked inside and Sirius barely thought to closed the door behind them. 

“My Patronus- it tried to take us to…” Alexia blinked, her breathing picking up. “Where are they?” 

“Please sit down, Alexia,” he requested. She shook her head slowly at first, but it became more frantic. 

“No. No. Just- just take us to them. It’s okay. We’ll figure it out.”

“Lexi,” Sirius said, his voice cracking. “Breathe.”

“I’m not- I can’t-,”

“They’re dead,” James told her bluntly. “They died, Lex.” 

“But- but they were with us two hours ago!” Sirius denied. “They can’t just be  _ gone _ .” 

“It was a sped up version of dragon pox,” Ted told them sadly. “We didn’t know it was anything out of the normal until boils started appearing on numerous people. It didn’t take long.” 

“They can’t be gone,” Sirius repeated in a whisper. 

“I’m so sorry,” Ted said honestly. “If there’s anything Andromeda and I can do, let us know.”

“What do we do?” James asked softly. “Where do we… what do we do?” 

“They can’t be gone,” Sirius said again. “They can’t be gone.”

* * *

**June 25th, 1977**

The next few days were a blur. 

Unsurprisingly, James, Sirius, and Alexia were the most messed up over it. Lily and Remus, who had already gone through it, were great helps, but they both felt a sense of horror and loss as well. 

It had taken them three hours, sitting with Ted, before they all fully understood what had happened and what it meant. He’d explained to them about the Death Eater attack and had left out the fact that Charlus and Dorea had nearly been safe. 

That night, sitting around the kitchen table with a bottle of Dorea’s favorite rum, the floo had burst to life. Out of it walked a tall redheaded woman with her head held high. She stood in front of all of them and told them to grab their things and the rum and make their way over to Prewett Manor because they were staying with her. 

After confirmation from Alexia that she was actually supposed to take care of them, they’d gone over there. 

Planning the funeral was hard. Alphard and Carmen Prewett worked with the teenagers to set it up. They’d gone over the fine details with anyone who needed busy work and had only checked on bigger details with those that just wanted to be over with it. 

The funeral itself was quiet, respectful, and full of tears. It was meant for only the people closest to them, including their close friends and family and their children. They were buried in the garden of Potter Manor using a spell that would turn their bodies into beautiful trees.

Finally, they couldn’t put it off any longer. 

They went to Gringott’s. 

The goblin they sat down with was named Gornuk. He had been, apparently, handling the Potter estates for a  _ very _ long time. When they got there, they had to take multiple tests on their wand, cores, and muggle DNA tests to make sure they were who they claimed. It took forty-five minutes to get through the entire fiasco, and once they did, he waved for them to sit down in front of his desk. 

“First, I will read the joint will of Charlus Henry Potter and Dorea Violetta Potter  née Black.” A rather official envelope was opened and out came a large piece of parchment that was glowing golden in his hands. “‘We have left letters for each of our five children that will be delivered to them as soon as they require them-,'"

“What the hell does  _ that _ mean?” 

James and Alexia both shot a glare at Sirius, who just scowled and quieted. 

“‘For James Charlus Potter, we leave the House of Potter. We ask that, upon our deaths, you do the Lord ceremony and take control. With the state of the world, it is important to secure our House. We also ask that you name Alexia as your heir.’”

“But she’s my age,” James blinked in confusion. “What’s the point of naming an heir that’ll die at the same time as you?”

Gornuk shot him a glare that showed his impatience. “‘Aside from our House, we leave you Potter Manor and a number of other estates. Specifically, we leave you our house in Godric’s Hollow with the hope that you will make it a home and build a family.

“‘We wish to split our fortune equally between the three of you. The vaults are already set up, and our money, land, investments, and other business ventures will be split immediately upon our deaths as well as your trust vaults released to you.’” Gornuk waved his hand in the air and grabbed a key. He handed it over to James, who took it in his hands in wonder. 

“‘For Alexia Dorea Potter, we leave the future.’” Alexia felt her breath hitch in her chest. “‘We leave a property in Diagon Alley that belonged to some friends of yours, left exactly as they had it with the hope that it will help heal you. We leave more properties, specifically a home in France and one in Russia for when you wish to visit your family.’”

“The future, no pressure,” James muttered to his sister. 

“‘To Sirius Orion Black, we leave what you are owed. While one family may have wronged you, we will not. We leave you what you would otherwise have gotten, including the properties - including one that we hope you and Remus may live in when you graduate - and the duty to love, care for, and protect your family. 

“‘To all of you, we leave our everlasting love and pride. We were blessed with even one child, only to gain four more. Our lives have been full and happy and we are so very proud of all of you.’” 

Gornuk put down the parchment as the golden glow faded. He looked up at them and saw that they were all crying at least a bit. “More details are in their individual wills. They have left things for Lily Evans and Remus Lupin as well.”

“They’re in the hall,” Sirius managed. “They wanted to… give us privacy.”

“Bring them in here,” Gornuk ordered. “These wills are long, and we still must go over heirlooms in the vaults!” 

They pulled the two into the room as well and, after they were given the same tests to make sure they were really who they said, he read to them what they got. It was generally money to make sure they were okay and a couple of heirlooms each to assure them that they are certainly family. 

Dorea’s engagement ring was given to James from her will with the firm instructions to use it when he proposed to Lily. Not if, but when. 

Visiting the vaults was a bit more difficult. To their surprise, a lot of the heirlooms that had been in the basement in Potter Manor or displayed around the house had been moved to the vaults. When they asked why, they were told that it was apparently an automatic theft protection.

Once they left, the five of them made their way back to Prewett Manor. Luckily, going over the wills and vaults was the only thing they’d planned for the day, so they were able to sit back and stew in their emotions.

* * *

**July 9th, 1977**

Lucius and Narcissa’s wedding was not postponed for deaths that did not affect them. Alexia, being the maid of honor - which Narcissa finally explained was a joint decision between her and Lucius - had to go to dress fittings and planning events. Essentially, she spent a lot of her time at Malfoy Manor that summer. 

That day in particular, the entire wedding party was in Malfoy Manor for fittings for the groomsmen and bridesmaids. It meant tea and gathering in a large sitting room together. Narcissa and Lucius were there, too. 

It was, truthfully, not their preferred wedding party. Alexia, Andromeda, and Severus were probably the only people the couple wanted there. But Lucius had a job to do, which meant getting close with these people, so he’d ended up inviting other Death Eaters to be a part of it.

While Alexia was the maid of honor, Severus had been asked to be the best man. He’d agreed easily, and planned to spend the entire summer at Malfoy Manor. Aside from the two of them, there was Andromeda, Bellatrix, Dolohov, and Rodolphus. 

“Poke me again and I’ll hex your fingers off,” Alexia snapped, smacking away the man’s hands. He backed up, looking scandalized. “Poking me with pins is  _ not _ going to make my hips smaller.”

“ _ Perhaps you should take a break _ ,” Dolohov said, amused. She let him grab her arm and pull her away from the man, who had already turned his attention to Bellatrix. Some of the people had left to the kitchen to take a break after they’d finished, and it was only the three of them at the moment. “ _ Hexing the man, while entertaining, will not help you, Hermione _ .”

“ _ We won’t know until I try _ ,” she muttered, coming to stand at his side. “ _ I don’t want to be here for this shit, Antonin. I’m tired. _ ”

“ _ The wedding is in a month. You will survive. _ ”

“ _ Did you know about it? _ ” she asked quietly. He glanced down at her, already aware of what she was asking. 

“ _ I did. I was unaware your parents would be there, however. It was a targeted attack, meant mainly for Lord Bones. I know little more than that. _ ”

Alexia hummed, dropping her head against his arm. She wasn’t lying when she said she was tired. Grief was exhausting, and with both her parents and the twins dying so close together, she’d been having a hard time going about her days. That week in particular, it had been fight after fight, not only with Death Eaters. She’d caught Sirius trying to sneak out after her, and they’d argued about it for hours. “ _ I don’t want to see more of my family die, Antonin. I’m… afraid. _ ”

He didn’t respond to that. They both knew she had plenty more people to lose before she was finished with her time in the past. Even then, when she got to her own time again, even more people would be dead. She had a great deal of reason to be afraid. 

He’d watched the memories she’d given him. Armed with the knowledge of what he’d do - and slightly sick at the idea of doing it - she also had reason to be afraid of him. She’d made a valid point when she’d said she didn’t know what type of person he’d turn into in the next twenty years.

The future wasn’t a bright one at all, and being on completely opposite sides of the war, comforting her would’ve been worse than empty words. 

“ _ What are your plans for the future? _ ” he asked her finally. She glanced up at him and shrugged. 

“ _ After seventh year, I’m going to work in the Ministry. Probably a small job, something meaningless. When I get back, it’ll be Creatures and Beings. That is assuming… we’ve gotten most of you out of the ministry. _ ”

“ _ I work in the ministry _ ,” he gathered. She nodded slightly. 

“ _ The DOM, I think. I never really bothered to ask, because you were usually not trying to have a conversation _ .”

“ _ When you get back _ ,” he decided. “ _ We will speak. _ ”

“ _ How can you be sure you won’t be arrested _ ?”

“ _ I won’t be _ .”

She scowled. She was almost certain he was right. It wasn’t so much that she  _ wanted _ him to be arrested, but more that his arrogance was beyond irritating. Clearly aware of that, he chuckled at her and decided to continue pressing her buttons. 

“ _ Did you ever speak with Malfoy _ ?” he wondered. Her gaze shot to him again and, because she stood so close, she had to tilt her head up a bit. “ _ I find it odd that they invited you to be in their wedding despite his feelings for you, Hermione. Don’t you _ ?”

Alexia, unwilling to actually curse someone - for no one’s sake but Narcissa and Lucius’s - she smacked his arm hard. “ _ I spoke with both of them, if you must know. We’re all aware of the situation. Thank you, by the way, for making my life that much more difficult." _

“ _ I strive to annoy you, Potter. _ ”

Alexia snorted. “ _ You think I don’t know that _ ?”

“Alexia,” Lucius said from the door, eyeing her position standing right next to Dolohov, much too closely for his liking. She offered him a smile.

“ _ There he is now _ ,” Dolohov taunted. “ _ You can see it in how he looks at you, Hermione. _ ”

Alexia smacked his arm again and plastered on a smile for her friend. “Yeah?”

Lucius glanced between them with a frown. “I’d like to borrow you for a moment.”

“Sure,” she nodded. Dolohov grabbed her hand, making her look back at him. 

“ _ I see it in you, too, Potter. Be careful. That love won’t disappear on its own. _ ”

Alexia, finally fed up, tossed a stinging hex at him. He ducked to the side to avoid it, and it hit the wall harmlessly. “ _ Back off, Antonin. I have it handled. _ ”

With that, she marched over to Lucius and walked out of the room, not bothering to look back and see Dolohov shaking his head at her in what she would’ve recognized as actual concern. 

The pair made their way through the halls and into a study where she was surprised to find Abraxas Malfoy and Arcturus Black sitting. She stopped short and looked at her friend. “Lucius?”

“Please sit, Miss Potter,” Abraxas requested. She did as he said and sat down in the chair next to Arcturus while Lucius went to stand next to his father. 

“Anything to get away from Dolohov right now,” she said with a slight frown. “Is everything alright?”

“Actually, it is about Dolohov,” Arcturus told her. “Or rather, his patriarch.”

Alexia glanced around. “You’re wondering why he thinks he has a claim on me?”

“We are, in fact, curious,” Abraxas confirmed. “Lucius refused to say anything without your approval.”

She glanced at her friend and then back at his father. “Well, it’s a bit difficult. I don’t mind telling you both, but you’ll need to take Vows or at least oaths not to share the information I give you, especially with Voldemort.”

“I, Artcturus Phineas Black, do swear not to share this information without your permission,” Arcturus swore easily. With slight hesitation and a small glare from Lucius, Abraxas did the same. Much more comfortable, Alexia sat back in his chair. 

“First off, I’m adopted,” she told them. There were varying degrees of surprise between the two of them, with Abraxas the most shocked. Arcturus didn’t look surprised at all, but she set that aside for a private discussion between the two of them. “My birth family… I’m somehow related to the Dolohovs. I haven’t figured out how yet, but I am. It’s why Antonin stopped attacking me. I’m the only person available to be paired with him in the case of the fall of the family."  


“And you refuse to meet with him,” Abraxas gathered. “Why is that?”

Alexia nodded at Lucius. “What was it you said?”

“It is likely he hoped to perform illegal loyalty charms, or possibly Imperius you,” he supplied for her. 

“Right, that,” she shrugged. “Even Antonin seems less and less keen on me being around his family the more he grows to care for me.”

“Do you trust him?”

The question took her by surprise, mostly because people had stopped bugging her about that. She hesitated and stared at Lucius, who stared back openly. They both knew the truth already.

“She does,” Lucius said, frustration clear in his voice. “Alexia, I have told you time and time again why that is a horrible idea.”

“It’s just- things have changed, Lucius,” she grimaced. “I think we misunderstood a lot.”

“You do understand that he does the things he does because he  _ agrees _ with them, yes?” he asked her, crossing his arms over his chest. “Fabian and Gideon-,”

“That wasn’t him!” she exclaimed. “It’s- it’s complicated.”

“Trusting him is foolish and it will get you killed,” he told her plainly. She saw the deep concern in his eyes, but she knew she was right.

“Lucius,” Abraxas said, his tone steady. They exchanged a glance and Lucius straightened but didn’t speak to her again. 

“We believe we have a way of providing you further protection from Anatoly,” Arcturus explained to her. The idea surprised her. 

“I didn’t think I’d be protected until I completed my soul bond, which I won’t do.”

“There is a very old tradition in magical weddings,” Abraxas informed her. “Where someone close to the couple to be wed will wear a magical necklace for a week before the wedding. It will hold a drop of each of their blood - the bride, groom, and this person - and this person will act as a sort of binding agent between them all. The necklace is given to the bride for protection or whatever else they wish for their marriage. It would, essentially, bind you to our house as well.”

Alexia looked to Lucius again, who looked stiff. “I’m not… sure that’s a great idea.” 

“It will protect you,” Arcturus reminded her sharply. “You will do it.”

“It’s just- I don’t think I should be a part of their marriage. That’s personal, that’s for them. I… don’t belong in it. I can protect myself.”

“Not a few weeks ago.”

“And not if he finds you again.”

Alexia frowned. “What does Cissa think of this?”

“It was her idea,” Lucius told her firmly. “This is a very old ritual, and she is the one that thought of it.”

She took a moment to think, looking at her friend. Things still felt… complicated. They’d never actually finished their conversation about their feelings for one another, and while she had briefly spoken with Narcissa, she was no more calm about the situation. In fact, the more she thought about it, the more stressed she was over the fact that she still had some bits of feelings for her friend, and clearly he still loved her. Dolohov had been right - she needed to be careful.

“Okay,” she relented, cursing under her breath - in Russian, because she’d been reminded that the Malfoy family knew French. “Okay, fine.”

* * *

**July 16th, 1977**

Alexia dropped her head in her hands and tried to slow her breathing down. The panic had been building in her since before she’d even begun their session that day, which was their sixth session since Fabian had died. It was going even worse than the others had.

Alphard, who she’d begged to help her, had placed her in a room in the DOM that was protected against elemental magic. It was rarely used, but perfect for their situation and the Fiendfyre raging around her. He was in another room next door that had magical windows into the room to monitor whatever was happening. 

“Alexia, breathe,” he called through his wand, which he’d connected to hers like magical walkie talkies. “Stop the spell and take some deep breaths. You’re going to be okay.”

She tried to do as he said, but something in her didn’t  _ want _ to breathe - it didn’t  _ want _ to calm down. The fire around her reminded her so aggressively of the accidental magic that had killed two Death Eaters when she’d found Fabian and Gideon. 

The thought of her friends’ deaths only made everything worse. It was difficult to focus without Fabian. He’d learned just how to help her with the spell, and she’d felt safest with him. With Alphard, it was different. It shouldn’t have been him - he’d originally refused to help her at all. It shouldn’t have been him, because Fabian shouldn’t have died. 

But she’d  _ known _ he was going to die. She’d just gotten so comfortable there that she’d  _ forgotten _ and because of that, she’d let them die. She cursed herself for not getting the spell finished before they’d died - if she had, she could’ve done what Mia had done and given them rings to save them. Instead, she’d forgotten and taken too long and they were gone. 

The door to the room slammed open and she turned around to find Alphard waving his wand at her. He was trying to calm the Fiendfyre, but it wasn’t working. And why should it? She had every right to be so upset. She hadn’t asked for any of this. She hadn’t wanted to be sent to the past, or to love people that she’d known would die. And from the twins, it had only gotten worse. 

She’d lost her parents. 

And, she knew, she’d lose more people. Marlene, Mary, Lily, even James if she couldn’t manage the spell. Not to mention Sirius, who she couldn’t be certain wouldn’t die. She loved all of them, and they’d leave her. 

It wasn’t just them. She also loved people that she knew would hurt her- that  _ had _ hurt her. She loved Lucius, she still did, and it was all starting. He was moving up, and he’d even invited Voldemort to the wedding as an honored guest. She loved Severus, and he’d spent so long being so cruel. She loved-  _ cared _ for Dolohov, and _ that _ was a mess, too.

All in all, her life would’ve been so much better, safer, and simpler if she’d  _ never fucking gone to the past _ .

With that last thought, the Fiendfyre expanded aggressively and she dropped to her knees with the magical exhaustion she was feeling. She passed out from it before the Fiendfyre had even retreated completely.

* * *

James sat at Alexia’s bedside, holding her hand within his own. No one else was in the room for the simple fact that he’d threatened all of their friends to stay away until she’d calmed down. She had passed out from magical exhaustion, and had been given two extra strength calming draughts. Neither of them had done anything for the emotional pain she was in, even while asleep. 

He’d been warned that during her meetings, she’d probably have episodes but that it couldn’t be avoided. They’d even argued over it. He just couldn’t understand what could be so important that she’d willingly go through that. Recently, when she’d begun the mysterious meetings again, it had gotten slowly worse. The first time, he hadn’t felt the pain from her for long before she’d lapsed into an episode and been brought home. But by that day, it had gotten much more intense and taken much longer.

The mediwitches had told him that she’d nearly burnt out her core with the accidental magic. She’d been given a magical transfer from James, who was the only person able to do so - magical transfers were only possible between family members, and they were extremely rare and could be dangerous if the person donating didn’t have a strong enough core themselves. 

It had brought her back up to a stable level where they weren’t concerned about her losing her life or becoming a squib - the only question was how long it took for her core to refill completely, and when she’d wake up.

It was about twenty full hours after the incident that she found herself slowly waking. James had, much to the dismay of the nurses, climbed next to her on the bed and fallen asleep. Being teenagers now, it was difficult, but definitely not impossible. 

The effort it took to blink her eyes open was slightly alarming, but she finally managed it and found herself in St. Mungo’s. When she turned her head to the side - which also took more effort than normal - she found James staring at the ceiling, looking troubled. At the movement, he noticed her.

“Ash!” he exclaimed. “Oh, thank fuck. Oh, Merlin, I was so worried. Are you okay? How do you feel? Does your head hurt? Do you need water? Oh, you probably need water. I can go get you some water if you want, there’s a room down the hall-,”

“James,” Alexia interrupted. The use of his full name cut his rambling short and he closed his mouth. “What happened? How’d I get here?” 

James frowned slightly. “I’m not entirely sure what you were doing, Lex, but it… was bad. Croaker brought you here and called me. Told me not to tell anyone else you were in the DOM. Why were you there?”

“Alphard,” she frowned. “Was I with Alphard?”

James glanced away from her. “You exhausted your core. You could’ve died, Lex.”

“Jamie, tell me what happened,” she demanded with a wince. She did, in fact, have a headache, and she was thirsty, but he was avoiding  _ something _ and she had to know what. 

“I don’t entirely know,” he admitted, sounding defeated. “But it was really bad. I could feel it through our bond, you know. You were so…  _ angry _ and- and sad, and then Croaker came and took me here and… I found out, generally, what happened.”

“And?”

He grabbed her hand in his own and stroked the back of it with his fingers. “Elemental magic, Lex?”

She frowned. “Yes, my accidental magic sometimes shows itself as Fiendfyre.”

He winced. “Shit. Whatever you were doing, it- it caused accidental magic, it caused that Fiendfyre. It must’ve been bad, because…”

“Jamie, tell me.”

“It killed Alphard.”

Alexia felt her breath sucked out of her. She’d  _ killed _ Alphard? Suddenly, she remembered what had happened. “But… the room, it should’ve protected him, Jamie. He was supposed to be safe!”

“I’m sorry, Lex,” he told her softly, pulling her into a hug. He rubbed her back gently, and she stayed in his arms, numb. 

“I don’t understand,” she whispered. “I remember getting upset, and he told me to breathe, to calm down, but I couldn’t and then… nothing.”

“Croaker wanted to talk to you as soon as you woke up, but… uh, Arcturus demanded to do it first. Since you’re a part of the Black House, legally, Croaker can’t argue.”

Alexia felt vaguely sick. “We could just  _ not _ tell them I’m awake.”

“The mediwitches probably already know with the charms on the room,” he said apologetically. “And Arcturus is waiting in the hall, which is why I haven’t left the room to pee in the last six hours.”

“Jamie,” Alexia laughed shortly, surprised. Still, the sight of a mediwitch approaching the room had her sobering up. “Where is everyone else?”

“Prewett Manor,” he told her gently. “I told them all to stay away until you’re up for visitors. Sirius nearly cursed me for it.”

Dread filled her more thoroughly than before. “Oh, god. Jamie, I killed him. I killed the only family member Sirius had left that he liked. And- oh, fuck. Regulus was supposed to stay with him this summer. He can’t go back to Walburga, Jamie!” 

“We’ll figure it out,” he assured her, pressing a kiss to her forehead as the mediwitch opened the door. 

“There you are, sweetheart,” the woman smiled softly. She began casting spells, mostly diagnostic spells, and wrote a few things down on Alexia’s chart at the end of the bed. “You’re doing alright for now, but you’ll need another few days here. Did your brother fill you in?”

“He did,” she said slowly, eyeing the window where she could see Arcturus getting to his feet. “Can Lord Black…  _ not _ come in here?” 

The nurse grimaced. “I’m afraid I can’t decide that, but if you feel like you’re in danger at any point, tap your hand against the bed three times and it’ll send us a message.”

James reluctantly got up. He squeezed his sister’s hand one more time before heading out of the room with the kind woman. Alexia took a second to take some deep breaths and looked up just as Arcturus entered the room. He came around the bed and sat in the chair next to it. 

“How are you doing?” he asked politely. She was more than willing to put off him trying to kill her for what she’d done, so she took a second to actually check in on herself. 

“I’m exhausted, but okay. James told me I was just magically exhausted.”

“Yes,” Arcturus nodded. “Unfortunately, we cannot say the same for Alphard.”

Alexia winced, guilt and even grief flooding her. She had cared for the man, after all. He’d listened to her and protected her to the best of his abilities. “I know. I’m sorry. He should’ve been safe. I don’t know how- I don’t understand how it happened.”

“That is what we all want to know,” Arcturus assured her, staring her down. “Tell me what you can remember.”

“We were working on an… experiment that I react very badly to, but I was warned of this by the person that’s done it before. The issue is that my accidental magic has turned into elemental magic, most often Fiendfyre. I’d- I had done this with Fabian Prewett at first. Since he’s- um, I asked Alphard to help me instead. He agreed and put me in a Fiendfyre proof room while I did this to keep everyone safe. So I was doing this, and I got upset over… many things. Fabian and Gideon’s deaths being one of them. I heard him telling me to take deep breaths, to calm down, but I couldn’t. Then… I don’t really know. I blacked out, or I passed out. I woke up here with my brother telling me I’d- I killed Alphard.”

Arcturus hummed. “You cannot control your accidental Fiendfyre, I take it.”

“Not as such, no. Not when I’m that upset especially. I got the book you sent for me, and I’ve been studying, but… clearly it wasn’t enough.”

“In that case, Pollux will stay at Hogwarts another year,” he decided firmly. “He will assist you in controlling this.”

“But Professor Vector is coming back this year,” she pointed out. He gave her a look that told her she didn’t want to keep asking questions, so she dropped that subject. “I don’t understand. I thought you’d come to kill me for killing Alphard or something.”

Arcturus chuckled. “Do you think this is the first time someone in this family has killed another member, accidental or not? No, of course not. You lost your parents, child. I am your next best defense, should Croaker decide to charge you for murder. I will have any charges thrown out, of course."

“Okay, I don’t get it,” she said finally. “You’ve got everyone in your family frightened of you in some sense, but you’re nothing but kind to me. You’re willing to listen, even. Why?”

“Dorea was never disowned,” he told her with a frown. “I cared for her greatly. I promised her, as soon as you arrived in their home, that if the need did arise, I would protect you.”

Alexia opened her mouth and closed it again. Her mother had simply asked the Black patriarch to look out for her and he’d…  _ agreed _ ? “There has to be more to it. This is more than that, isn’t it?”

He raised an eyebrow at her. “Dorea told me a bit about you, of course. Who you are and where you come from. I agreed to protect you for her, but more than that, for the future of my family. I get the sense that it is not doing well anymore.”

Alexia let her head fall back against the pillow again, feeling a bit sick. “I can’t save your family, Arcturus. I can bring Regulus back, and Sirius might live, but some of them- some will just be gone, and that’s how it is.”

“I will protect you while you are here to the best of my abilities, and when you return, you will help to rebuild my family, be it through your bond with Sirius or your relationship with Regulus. My family must survive.”

“Toujours Pur,” she muttered. “I’m not pure enough for your family.”

“You are a pureblood,” he disagreed. “If you were not, I would insist the same. I would prefer we live than continue inbreeding until we die out, Miss Potter. Bring the new blood in - you have my blessing.”

Alexia wondered vaguely if she’d gotten a concussion and was dreaming or hallucinating. “What if I don’t want to be with Sirius? What if I’m supposed to be with Regulus? What if I want to be?”

“Soul bonds do not decide who you marry. I encountered a soul bond with a half-blood girl over seventy years ago, but I did not marry her. Would you prefer a contract with Regulus?”

The question surprised Alexia, and she found herself nodding before she could even consider it. “I know Orion wrote one for Sirius and I as well, but right now, that doesn’t seem likely.”

Arcturus hummed. “I can write one of each. I will leave it in Black Manor for you.”

“Thank you.”

“As for the matter with Croaker,” he said, switching the subject abruptly. “He will be on his way. As of today, I will defend you, should you require it, and you may. You will not meet with him alone on the matter of Alphard’s death.”

“Right,” she said, wondering how she’d gotten one of the most powerful men in the wizarding world as a lawyer. “Okay.”

* * *


	39. Grief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus Deserves Better Part 1

**Chapter Thirty-Nine**

_ There’s no angels left in the sea _

_ We both lend its own _

_ We’re in between _

_ You can’t teach ‘cause you never learn. _

**July 16th, 1977**

Around thirty minutes after Arcturus had entered Alexia’s room, there was a knock on the door. She recognized the familiar face of Bertie Croaker and pulled herself into a sitting position with her legs crossed as he entered the room. He flashed her a smile and stuck out his hand, which she shook reluctantly. 

“I’m glad to see you’re doing well, Miss Potter,” he said. She almost thought he sounded sincere. “I was concerned I didn’t get to you in time.”

“You found us?” she asked, surprised. He nodded. 

“Alphard sent me a message before going in to calm you down, of course. I imagine I got there not long after you passed out.”

Alexia quieted once more at the reminder that it had been her fault. Arcturus took that opportunity to take control of the conversation before she could say anything potentially incriminating. 

“Bertie, I’d like to know exactly what your business with Miss Potter is,” Arcturus said firmly. “If you intend to arrest her for the death of Alphard, I can assure you that it won’t be happening.”

“Why not?” Bertie asked, more curious than anything else.

“She is under my protection,” he said simply. Bertie nodded a bit. 

“Well, it isn’t a problem. I was informed of their…  _ experiment _ , and I was previously aware of the dangers. Alphard told me he was afraid she’d kill herself with the fiendfyre. She melted half of the room she was in, and that’s supposed to be impossible. He went in to put the fire out, so his death is not her fault."

“Then why did you want to talk to me?” Alexia asked, lost. She’d assumed she was in trouble, and she hadn’t even realized Alphard had filled the man in on what they were doing. 

“A few things,” he said, eyeing Arcturus. “That you may wish to discuss privately.”

“My mother trusted him to help me,” she stated firmly. “And I trust my mother.”

“In that case,” Bertie said, reaching into his robes. He pulled out a file and handed it over to her. When she opened it, she saw intimate details about her and the things she’d done or gone through that could only have come from Alphard. “Upon his death, this was set to release to me until 1979. Now that I’ve read through it, I’d like to offer my help, as well.”

“With… what?”

He flipped a few pages for her and pointed at what she realized was a record -  _ her _ record. “You’ve gotten in trouble before, Miss Potter. Come to me, should you need it.”

“Okay,” she said slowly. “To be fair, I don’t plan on being arrested again. Last time was only because my friend wasn’t allowed in here and his parents just died.”

“I also wish to help you continue the spell you were working to master.”

Everything in Alexia went cold at that suggestion. That spell was supposed to help her save her brother, not  _ kill _ someone. She’d never expected it to hurt anyone but possibly herself. She didn’t mind getting hurt for James at all, but killing someone and risking another innocent life? As much as the thought made her sick, she didn’t think she could do it again. “Th-thank you, but…. I can’t keep going. I love Jamie, but I never meant for anyone to die. I can’t continue with it.” 

Croaker hummed. “Well, if you change your mind, I’m available. I will hold onto the time turner in the event that you want to continue.”

Alexia nodded quietly. She didn’t particularly feel like seeing the time turner again, anyway. It would only serve as a reminder of what had happened. She didn’t think she’d ever need or want to see it again, so she didn’t at all mind him keeping it. 

“If that’s all, Bertie,” Arcturus spoke up. “I believe Miss Potter needs more rest.”

* * *

**July 20th, 1977**

It was four days before she was discharged. 

Croaker had come back the next day to check on her core the way Alphard had and informed her that it was almost entirely back to normal, which meant that she was recovering only slightly slower than usual. 

Upon Alexia’s insistence, only James had come to see her. Because of that, she was completely unprepared for the overwhelming concern she faced upon getting back to Prewett Manor. Lily reached her first and wrapped her up in a tight hug. 

“Thank Merlin you’re okay,” her friend whispered, squeezing her. “God, Lexi, I thought we were going to lose you, too. Don’t ever do that again!” 

“I don’t plan to,” she said, patting her friend’s back. Remus and Sirius were looking at her with differing levels of concern. “I… I’m never doing that again.”

“What  _ were _ you doing?” Sirius asked her. She met his gaze and saw the flurry of emotions in his eyes, but before she could process any of it, his face fell into a perfect, Slytherin mask that Walburga would’ve been proud of. 

“We were trying to save someone,” she said softly. “Someone we all love.” 

“And he died.”

Alexia flinched. “I’m sorry. I didn’t- he wasn’t supposed to come in. It was supposed to be safe.”

“Yeah,” he shook his head at her. “Sure.”

The group watched as Sirius turned and walked away. Remus glanced between them and placed a kiss on Alexia’s cheek before hurrying after their friend. Alexia let out a soft sigh and sat down. 

“He’s grieving, Lex,” James told her gently. “He doesn’t mean it.” 

“He does,” she disagreed. “He knows it was my fault, Jamie.  _ I _ know it was.”

“Alex-,”

“I think I’m just going to… go get some sleep,” she said, brushing off Lily’s hand. She got to her feet and left the room, leaving Lily and James both feeling rather useless and stuck. 

* * *

**July 24th, 1977**

Planning for the wedding had actually been placed on hold when Alexia hadn’t turned up for a meeting with the photographer. Once she was released from St. Mungo’s, she was questioned numerous times by different people about if she was actually okay - to which she always said yes. Still, it wasn’t until that day that she found her way back to Malfoy Manor. 

And she was shocked to find her boyfriend there. Shocked and completely unprepared. 

Anxiety filled her as she exited the floo. He stood across the room with his back to her, speaking with Andromeda. She’d turned and was about to step right back into the floo when a familiar and deeply irritating voice spoke. 

“ _ Hermione _ .”

At the name, Regulus spun around and spotted her. Alexia didn’t even glance at Dolohov, but rather stared at her boyfriend and paled dramatically. She’d gotten either the silent treatment or nasty remarks from Sirius for the last week and a half, and she was not prepared for the same from him.

Regulus completely abandoned his conversation with Andromeda without another word and hurried over to her. She almost thought he was going to attack her, but instead, he wrapped his arms around her tightly. 

“Reg- what are you- Regulus?” she said, eyes wide as she tried to hug him back. 

“ _ Why haven’t you answered my letters _ ?”

Alexia saw Dolohov roll his eyes and look away and she managed to pull back to look at Regulus more closely. “I wasn’t prepared for… it’s one thing, Sirius hating me, and I can barely handle that. You-,”

“I don’t hate you,” he told her firmly, grabbing her face in his hands. “I’ve been worried for you, Little Lion. None of us have heard from anyone. Grandfather only told me you were alive when he moved me here.”

“He moved you… here,” she repeated, blinking in confusion. “To Malfoy Manor?”

“To Narcissa,” he corrected. “He gave her… custody of me. Mother is not to attend social events or speak to anyone.” 

Alexia shook her head immediately, feeling sick. “You can’t be here, Reg. It’s going to get bad, it’s- he’s going to come here. You can’t live with him.”

“I can handle myself, Lexi,” he assured her, looking her over. “Are you okay?” 

“I wasn’t hurt,” she promised. “What are we doing today?”

“The first rehearsal,” he explained. “There’s going to be three of them, apparently.” 

Alexia groaned inwardly, but nodded anyway. 

The day went by slowly, and by lunch, just about everyone was out of patience. They’d gone through the way the morning would go for each group, and what times they’d need to be in the garden by. Then, it had been a mess of nitpicking from Druella, for the most part. According to her, no one was making Narcissa look as good as she deserved. She’d even attempted to hex or curse Andromeda more than once. 

When they were just sitting at lunch and Druella shot a nasty dark curse at Andromeda, Alexia glared at the woman but just shielded Andromeda. It was  _ after _ lunch that things got… difficult. Alexia had walked into the hall to take a breath from everyone else. Regulus had left the large group once everyone had arrived for the day, so he wasn’t there to see her snap when Druella hit her with a stinging jinx. 

Alexia first took a moment to heal the jinx, which was relatively simple. Then, she turned to look at the nasty woman. “What is your  _ problem _ ? First you hex your own daughter, now me? I’ve never fucking met you, you insane witch!” 

“You’re tainting my family,” Druella hissed, her wand still pointed at Alexia. “You have no respect for us. That…  _ slut _ isn’t my daughter. She’s a blood traitor, just like you.”

“Fucking Merlin, this is Narcissa’s wedding! Can’t you just pretend to be civil until it’s over? It might be hard, but surely you’ve got the self restraint for that!” 

“ _ Avada Ked _ -,”

An arm grabbed Alexia around the waist and tugged her to the side, just barely saving her from the killing curse that instead slammed into the wall. She stumbled a little and grabbed onto the person to steady herself even as he raised his wand to Druella. 

“I think you’re done here,” he growled. 

“Are you a blood traitor, too?” she asked, sneering at him. 

“What I am is a Death Eater that can influence the future of your daughters,” Dolohov said, narrowing his eyes. “Leave her alone.” 

Druella scowled and turned to leave, likely going to tell someone else what had happened - in her own twisted way, of course. Once she was gone, Dolohov stepped back and looked at Alexia critically. 

“ _ You make it increasingly difficult to protect you, Hermione. I’m starting to think you just miss me. _ ”

Alexia rolled her eyes. “ _ Thank you, Antonin. I didn’t think she was that bloody insane, trying to kill me here. _ ”

“ _ You underestimate the Black insanity _ .”

“ _ Wasn’t she a Rosier by birth or something _ ?”

He waved her off. “ _ It seems to be infectious. That theory is supported by you. _ ”

She let out a sigh and crossed her arms over her chest. “ _ Why do you care for me when I’m so… _ ”

“ _ Disagreeable _ ?” he offered. She made a face at him, offended. 

“ _ I was going to say… complicated. Everything in my life is complicated. _ ”

He chuckled and tugged lightly at a piece of her hair that had fallen in her face. “ _ It is only the circumstances you find yourself in that are complicated. You are exceedingly simple, actually. I see you very clearly, Hermione. _ ”

Alexia met his gaze curiously. “ _ But you’re still a mystery to me, for the most part. _ ”

“ _ Then perhaps you should make more of an effort to speak with me. Keeping secrets from you is, generally, not something I care to do. Ask and I will answer. _ ”

“ _ I’ve told you before, spending time with you- it’s just not a good idea. My friends would hex you. _ ”

“ _ You would be a horrible Slytherin _ ,” he said plainly. She felt the insult and frowned at him. “ _ Must your friends know everything you do? Everyone you speak to? _ ”

Alexia rolled her eyes. “ _ See, this guy tried to kill me a few years ago, so they’re pretty nervous about leaving me alone now." _

Dolohov hummed and pushed her hair gently behind her ear. The motion gave her shivers, which made her slightly uncomfortable. Once more, they’d found themselves standing close enough that it was nearly impolite. Even so, it was one of the first calm moments she’d had for hours, so she was reluctant to move. “ _ When you go back to Hogwarts, write me. _

Despite not knowing why, she found herself nodding. 

“Lexi- oh,” Narcissa stopped short, looking them over closely. Her lips thinned slightly as Alexia took a large step away from Dolohov. “Lexi, it’s time to practice the necklace giving.”

Dolohov looked at her in surprise. “ _ You wear a ceremonial necklace _ ?”

Alexia looked between them. “I’ll be there in just a moment, Cissa.”

Narcissa, suspicious and concerned, backed out of the room to find Lucius. He was in the drawing room with Severus and Regulus, discussing something or the other. When she entered, they all looked over. 

“She’s with him again,” she stated. “They were so close this time. Something is happening. I believe she’s stopped resisting the pairing set for them.”

“So they’re getting close,” Lucius realized, paling. Regulus strode past Narcissa and out of the room. When he got to the hall, he found Alexia rolling her eyes at Dolohov. 

“ _ I’m not going to hex any of them _ ,” she snorted. “ _ They have plenty of reason to be concerned, Antonin. Especially after they met Mia. They probably think you’re going to do to me what he did to Mia or Adelaide _ .”

Dolohov’s eyes flashed, and he touched her arm. “ _ Alexia, I swear to you that I will  _ never _ do what they did to them. You are safe with me. _ ”

Alexia offered him a small smile. “ _ I know. _ ”

“Lexi,” Regulus said, stepping forward so they could actually see him. She looked to him in surprise. 

“Come to join the fun?” she asked, a soft, fond smile slipping onto her lips. It was one that comforted him greatly over the scene he’d just witnessed. The smile she offered him was one he’d never seen her give to anyone else, much less Dolohov. “I gotta warn you, Druella’s on the hunt."

“ _ Speaking of which _ ,” Dolohov spoke up. “ _ I believe I’ll go find her and ensure she doesn’t… bother you again _ .”

Alexia winced, but said nothing as he left in the general direction Druella had gone. Instead, she stepped over and kissed her boyfriend. “I might not survive until the wedding, Reg.”

“Lexi, what were you doing with him?” he asked carefully. He saw the immediately defensive look pass to something resembling carelessness. She shrugged lightly. 

“Druella tried to kill me, so he saved me and we talked for a second,” she answered easily.

“She actually-  _ she tried to kill you _ ?” he asked, alarmed.

“Yeah. That’s where he went, actually, is to find her and… probably threaten her to stay away from me,” she shrugged. “I’m fine, honestly. She didn’t hurt me at all.”

Regulus ran his fingers through his hair. “Lexi, you’re worrying me. He’s not safe, and you’re not safe with him. He’s going to hurt you in the future, remember?"

Alexia sighed. “Reg, he knows what he does in the future. I trust him not to hurt me if he doesn’t have to, and he has to do the things I remember, the things I’ve told him about.”

“Alexia, you don’t understand,” he insisted, grabbing her arms and meeting her eyes. “He is a Slytherin. He is a master at what he does, and what he does is manipulate. He’s manipulating you and you’re letting him.” 

Alexia scoffed at him, offended. She brushed his hands off of her arms and stepped back. “I’ve been suspicious of him ever since Lucius and I went through those memories in first year. I have been so careful, and I  _ know _ there’s a difference in him. You don’t see him clearly because all you can think about is the past.”

“Because you shouldn’t befriend people that have tried to kill you!” 

“Well I would’ve married Lucius and  _ he’s _ tried to kill me so clearly, that rule doesn’t apply to me!”

Regulus stared at her in shock for a moment as her words processed. Most of that was new information. He’d known they dueled, but not that Lucius had tried to kill her. Beyond that, he hadn’t realized how deeply she’d felt for him. It was clear that Lucius had loved her a great deal, and that he still did, but the thought that she’d loved him the same was a new one that burrowed a hole in his heart. “Alexia, do you still have feelings for him?”

“I love  _ you _ , Regulus,” she snapped back, which was probably the oddest way she’d said those words. “I just want you to listen to me! I survived before you and I will continue to do so. Just try to trust me that I know what I’m doing?”

“Answer my question, Alexia.”

Alexia grit her teeth. “Regulus-,”

“Alexia.”

“Yes,” she said finally. He tensed. 

“I see,” he said tersely. “This entire time?”

“Yes, but-,”

“Then I suppose you’re free to feel however you want,” he told her, backing up. Her eyes widened.

“Reg, I do love you,” she said, panic filling her. “I do, it’s just- it’s complicated!”

“I hope you can figure it out, but you won’t be doing it while we’re together.”

Alexia watched him turn around and leave, feeling particularly numb. She’d been trying to figure out how to tell him about her feelings for Lucius, and she certainly intended to do so soon. Apparently, she’d waited too long. Regulus breaking up with her had always been a possibility in the situation, and while she understood it, she couldn’t fathom not being with him. She loved him so deeply, and she’d truly imagined a future with him.

Footsteps could be heard down the hall, and she swiped the tears building in her eyes away just as Dolohov came into view, glancing behind him. When his eyes settled on her, he froze, looking at her puffy, red eyes. “ _ Hermione. _ ”

“ _ Not now, _ ” she shook her head, taking in some deep breaths. They didn’t really feel like they were doing anything for the empty pit in her chest that had opened up. “ _ I can’t- I can’t do this right now, Antonin. _ ”

“ _ Potter, _ ” he said, stepping in front of her before she could leave. 

“ _ You were right _ ,” she said, staring at him. “ _ You were right. I should’ve been careful. I should’ve done something to deal with- with how I felt, and I didn’t, and now- you were right. So enjoy that and just let me go. _ ”

“ _ Go where _ ?”

The question startled her into frowning. “ _ I hadn’t… home. _ ”

“ _ You are staying with Lady Prewett. _ ”

“ _ I don’t want to be around them right now _ ,” she glanced away. “ _ I don’t want to answer questions. I’m going to Fabian and Gideon’s flat, and I’ll probably drink whatever firewhiskey they left and pretend everything isn’t fucked. _ ”

Dolohov frowned at her and offered his arm. She took it and let him lead her to the floo. “ _ I will expect an owl tomorrow morning telling me you survived the night. _ ”

Alexia breathed out and nodded. She was grateful that he didn’t push. For a moment, she’d almost thought he wanted to come with her. The idea of getting drunk with him and crying over a breakup was not one she liked very much. “ _ Thank you, Antonin. Will you let Lucius and Narcissa know where I’ve gone? _ ”

He hummed his confirmation, so she got into the floo and, without a proper goodbye, sent herself to the flat. 

It was very much the same as the last time she’d seen it. There were scorch marks on the walls and floor, and there was blood where the twins’ bodies had laid, too. It also was a bit messy, which was the entire reason Fabian had left that morning, anyway. 

With a sigh, Alexia headed to their kitchen. The firewhiskey was sitting in a cupboard, so she grabbed it and a glass and poured herself a drink. After taking a long sip, she glanced around the place. It hurt to see it like that, so she waved her empty hand at the floor to  _ Scourgify _ the blood off of it. Curiously, it didn’t work. She got to her knees and tried again, and once more, it didn’t work.

After another trip to the kitchen, she came back with a wet rag and began scrubbing. When she pulled the rag back up, it hadn’t picked anything up at all. Frustrated, she stared at the spot on the hardwood floor. She knew bloodstains, and she knew  _ Scourgify _ should’ve handled it just fine, no matter how old it was. With a sigh of irritation, she waved her hand over it again, this time casting  _ Finite Incantatum _ . 

The blood disappeared. 

Alexia frowned at the spot she’d tried so hard to clean. The fact that only  _ Finite Incantatum _ got rid of it suggested that it hadn’t actually been blood, but rather a glamour or some other sort of trick. The question, she supposed, was  _ why _ they’d place fake blood there? 

Shaking herself, Alexia got to her feet and moved onto the scorch marks. That was a bit more difficult as it had actually damaged the floor and walls themselves, so after she’d cleaned it up to the best of her abilities, she made a mental note to hire someone to fix that situation. 

She continued to drink and clean. The entire apartment had been torn apart, either by the Death Eaters or the wind she’d caused that day. She tipped furniture back over and picked up and threw away papers or magazines. Cleaning out the fridge was an experience, and one that she never wanted to repeat. By the time she’d finished, she’d drank most of the three-quarters full bottle of firewhiskey she’d found. 

It was nearly nine in the morning when the floo lit up again, and she was still awake, going through the twins’ things. Alexia looked up, wondering absently if Death Eaters had come back. Instead of them, James stepped out and looked around until he spotted her with her empty glass in hand, looking at a photo album she’d found knocked over under the upturned couch. 

“What’s that?” he asked, coming to sit with her. She handed it over. 

“Didn’t know they had it,” she mumbled. His eyes scanned the page. It held numerous photos with the twins and all five Marauders. There were more pictures of the twins with Alexia, of course, since they were closest. The last one in there had only been taken two days before they’d died. In it, she sat on the couch in Fabian’s office with him and had fallen asleep on him. Fabian glanced up at the camera and grinned his large, happy grin. It was one that hurt to look at. 

“They really loved you,” he commented softly, pulling her over to rest her head on his shoulder and wrap an arm around her shoulders. 

“Look where it got them.”

James sighed. “How much have you had, Lex?” She waved her hand behind her, and the nearly empty bottle flew over to them. He caught it with a frown. “How full was it before?”

“Not full enough.”

“What happened?”

She grabbed the bottle from him and poured a bit more in his glass. Despite definitely being drunk, she wasn’t drunk enough for the conversation. When she went to take a drink of it, he pulled the cup and bottle out of her hands and, to her irritation, vanished them. “James!” 

“Lex, stop it,” he told her firmly. “It’s not like you to get drunk when you’re upset. Tell me what happened.”

Alexia huffed, but didn’t attempt to get the other bottle that she knew was still in the cupboard. “Have you ever had feelings for anyone other than Lily?”

He blinked, confused. “No, of course not. It’s been her, ever since we met, you know that.”

“Has she ever had feelings for someone else? While you’ve been together?”

The question made him frown. “No, Lex, I don’t think so. Why? Does Regulus- does he have feelings for someone else?”

Alexia grimaced, longing for the other bottle just at that question. “No, I do. I have. I didn’t realize for so long, but we got in a fight earlier and he found out and… he broke up with me.”

James pulled her closer and hugged her tightly. “Your solution was to come get drunk?”

“I came to them last time,” she muttered, glancing back at the photo album. “They distracted me. They loved me enough that I could forget, for a bit, that I couldn’t… be with Lucius.”

“Malfoy,” James realized suddenly. The heartbreak intensified over their bond when he said Lucius’s name, and James was certain. “It’s Malfoy?”

She nodded quietly. “I thought I was over him, Jamie, but I’m not and now Regulus- god, he was so hurt, so  _ mad _ . It was all over a stupid fight about Antonin, and now I’m… here. I don’t have Lucius, Regulus is hurt, and Sirius hates me. I thought I was losing people to this fucking war, but it’s just me, isn’t it? This is all  _ my fucking fault _ .”

“Shh, Lex,” he whispered, stroking her hair gently. “It’s not your fault. Shit got complicated, but when isn’t your life complicated? We’ll work it out. Sirius doesn’t hate you, he’s just grieving. If you haven’t noticed, he’s tried to deal with Mum and Dad by fighting, too. You haven’t lost Malfoy, either. He still cares about you in his own way. Regulus- I don’t know, but I do know that the kid loves you a  _ lot _ . Give him time, talk it out. I promise it’s gonna be okay.”

“How d’you know?”

“Because you’ve got me,” he promised. He intertwined their pinkies just as she’d told him to so many years ago. “Forever. Everyone else can leave, but you’re not getting rid of me, Lex. You and I, we’re stuck together.”

“I’m gonna lose you, too,” Alexia whispered. 

“Impossible.”

“I am,” she disagreed, upset. He didn’t get it. He was going to die, and there was nothing she could do about it anymore. 

“No, Lex, you’re not-,”

“Peter is a Death Eater.”

James froze. “You’re drunk, Lexi. Peter’s our friend.”

Alexia shook her head rapidly, even as the floo lit up again. “No, he’s not. He became a Death Eater by killing Remus’s parents. He has the dark mark. He goes to fucking  _ meetings _ ! I know all of this because someday, he’s going to betray you to Voldemort and get you  _ killed _ . You  _ won’t _ stay with me, James, because you’re going to be fucking  _ dead _ .”

“ _ Hermione _ !” 

Both twins finally looked at the floo, which had deposited Dolohov into the room. He was staring at James and the anger on the younger man’s face. 

“I’m alive,” she waved him off, scowling. She was far too drunk to reply to him in Russian, especially considering how long it took her to remember the words in English. 

“Alexia, I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about,” James said to her, his voice dark. “Pete isn’t a Death Eater. I know you and he had some sort of falling out, but don’t pin your breakup on him. You’re upset with yourself, not Pete.”

“Listen to me!” Alexia said loudly, getting to her feet. She wobbled a bit but glared at her brother, ignoring Dolohov as he called for something from his elf. “I  _ tried _ to save you and it got Alphard killed, so listen to me!  _ You’re going to die _ .”

“Potter,” Dolohov snapped, gaining their attention. He shoved a sober up potion into Alexia’s hands. “Take it.  _ Now _ .”

Alexia glared at him. “He isn’t listening to me! He says I won’t lose him too, but I will!” 

“Take it,” he repeated. She did as he said unhappily. The potion began working the second it hit her tongue, and she immediately felt a bad hangover come on. 

“Oh, god,” she groaned, squeezing her eyes shut. 

“ _ You have to Obliviate him _ .”

James started at the name of the dangerous spell. “No one is Obliviating anyone, Dolohov. She was just drunk.”

“Can you?” she asked, her head still hurting too much for Russian. “I can’t- I haven’t been this hungover in years.”

“Lex, wait,” James grabbed her arm. “You have no way to know that. He’s not actually a Death Eater.”

“Go lie down,” Dolohov instructed her. She glanced between them and nodded. She kissed James’s cheek and then stepped out of the room and made her way to a bedroom to do as she was told. 

James raised his wand defensively. “You’re not touching my mind, Dolohov.”

“She should not have told you any of that,” he replied, slowly moving closer. “It was too telling, or I would let you assume she was drunk and angry. Unfortunately, you’ll become suspicious. The future, Potter, depends on you trusting the wrong person. So, you have to be Obliviated. Hermione did it last time." 

“Last… time?” he frowned. Some mostly hidden, mostly disappeared memory was on the top of his mind, but he couldn’t even tell what it was. “What do you mean, the future?”

“Just know that Obliviating you is the best way to keep her safe.”

And as much as James didn’t trust Dolohov, his sister clearly did, and the man had claimed it was for her safety. Still, the mind was a precious thing. “If she did it before, she can do it again. I’ll wait until she sleeps this off.”

“ _ Obliviate _ !” 

The spell took only a minute. There was very little to remove. He twisted the memory so that James would believe he’d gotten her a sober up potion and put her to bed before going to the other room for his own nap. Once Dolohov had levitated James into a bed, he found his way to where Alexia stood looking out the window that looked over Diagon Alley.

“He will wake up in three hours,” he informed her, coming to stand by her. 

“Thank you,” she said softly. “Thank you for coming.”

“You are reckless. You had not owled me, so I came to make sure you hadn’t died.”

Alexia rolled her eyes and shifted the conversation. “The blood was fake, Antonin.”

“Excuse me?”

“On the floor,” she nodded at the door. “Where they- where their bodies were, the blood was fake. Some sort of glamour. Did you guys do that?”

“We didn’t touch them,” he shook his head. “Are you sure?”

“ _ Scourgify _ didn’t touch it, and neither did a wet rag. Only  _ Finite Incantatum _ .”

“Odd,” he frowned. “Their bodies gave off an… odd magical signature, one that didn’t match them, but they seemed truly dead.”

Alexia made a face. “I’m still waiting for mine to return completely to normal.”

“It’s damaged?” 

“It was,” she corrected. She waved her hand lazily in the air, and he caught sight of her magical signature. He stared at it. 

“This is yours?"

“Yes, of course. Who else’s would it be?”

“You’re certain.”

“ _ Yes _ ,” she snapped. “Why? What is it?”

He frowned at her, looking as if staring at her would answer the questions that had surfaced. “That is the magical signature we found on their bodies, Hermione.”

Alexia froze, trying to understand the implications. She certainly hadn’t  _ killed _ them, that’s for sure. “I… saw Fabian before he left? We hugged?”

“You’re not  _ stupid _ , Potter, you know physical touch doesn’t leave a magical signature. You cast something on them, and you were the last to see them alive.”

“But I  _ wasn’t _ !” she exclaimed. “I was in the library, talking with Lucius about-,” she cut off with a wince. “And then I decided I needed to talk to them about it, and when I got there, they were dead.”

Dolohov considered the situation with a frown. “Perhaps it is time I get that job in the Department of Mysteries you claim I had.”

* * *


	40. Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Thing Happens

**Chapter Forty**

_ Tell me again about how it hurts _

_ Being awfully loud for an introvert _

_ Get out of my room, smile wiped clean _

_ Isn’t it weird to be so mean? _

**August 1st, 1977**

After a mess of a summer, it was finally the day of the wedding. 

The night before, the entire wedding party spent the night in Malfoy Manor, simply so they could get ready throughout the day with plenty of time to double and triple check that everything was just right. The wedding was to be at sunset, which was to be at almost 9pm. Before the ceremony itself, guests would be arriving to celebrate the harvest, which was an old party held at the end of every summer - it was also the very last society event of the year, so typically, they went all out on a feast.

The day went rather smoothly. Only Rodolphus had lost a piece of his clothing - his undershirt - and only Andromeda had issues getting ready when Tonks managed to find them and began bothering her until Alexia, who spent the entire day smoothing things over for her friends, grabbed Tonks and went on a search for Ted. Shealready wore her beautiful, hand made robes for the ceremony, and she spent an unreasonable amount of time searching for the man. 

Tonks was walking next to Alexia. When the woman turned to look into a room for the man, the young girl sped down the hall. Alexia let out a groan, picked up the bottom of her robes, and took off after Tonks. She turned the corner and spotted Tonks just as someone picked her up. 

“Oh, thank Merlin,” she let out a short laugh, looking up. She froze mid step as she stared at Regulus carrying Tonks over to her. Her smile melted off of her face, and she wasn’t even sure if she was still breathing. Regulus handed over Tonks and began to move on, so she forced herself to speak. “I’m, uh, looking for Ted. Tonks must’ve gotten away from him.”

Regulus avoided her gaze. “I think I saw him in the garden.”

“Regulus-,”

“I have to go.”

She watched him leave helplessly. That was the first time they’d spoken since their fight, and she hated it. He wouldn’t even meet her eyes. She’d tried multiple times to corner him, but he’d managed to leave Malfoy Manor every time she’d come over. With an upset sigh, she put Tonks down, grabbed her hand, and continued on her search for Ted.

* * *

Hours later, and there had only been three small crises. All of them had been handled immediately by a mixture of the wedding planner, Emily Rothenberg, Druella, and Alexia and Dolohov, who had taken over as best man when Severus’s duties for Voldemort had gotten in the way. He was still a groomsman, he just wasn’t in charge of anything too important. 

All of the guests had arrived by seven p.m. That included just about everyone in the wizarding world, excluding muggleborns. Even a great number of blood traitors were allowed, since they couldn’t be kept away from society events. Sirius and James had come, both without dates. James had offered numerous times to stay home with Lily, but she’d sent him under the instructions to keep an eye on Sirius and Alexia.

It was eight thirty when the wedding planner had finally corralled everyone into a line in the manor. The ceremony was to be in the garden, where candles had been lit in a circle and chairs surrounded it with a small opening for the wedding party. 

“Okay, line up!” Emily called. She shooed them into position as fast as she could.

At the front was the flower girl, which was Tonks. Then was Andromeda with Severus, which was an almost comical pairing. They both cleaned up well, though, so they nearly matched, aside from the fact that she was two inches taller than him. After them came Bellatrix and Rodolphus, who looked just as scary and mean as usual, but this time in formal robes. Then came Alexia and Dolohov, who was laughing quietly at her and the way she stumbled in the uncomfortable and not worn in heels she wore. She ended up holding his arm and using him for balance the entire time. 

They went out in that order, all of them doing rather well. The groomsmen stood on one half of the circle with the bridesmaids on the other, and the best man and maid of honor at the head of the circle with just enough room for the couple and Arcturus, who had offered to marry them. 

Finally, Narcissa walked out. Her robes flowed beautifully down her body and were a soft peach color. The lacework on them was intricate and covered the length of the dress. It floated just a small bit above the ground to prevent tripping, and when she entered the circle, it moved to avoid the people. The circle closed magically once she entered, sealing them in for the ceremony. 

The ceremony began quickly, and they got into the candles. Each person - barring Arcturus, Lucius, and Narcissa - held a candle each in their hands. Each candle had runes carved into the wax, signifying the importance. 

“I bless this union with trust,” he called. Severus tipped one of the candles forward into the small, floating fire in the middle of the circle. When the candle was lit, it took on a magical glow. “I bless this union with partnership,” he said. That time, Andromeda lit the candle, and it lit up even brighter. “I bless this union with protection.” Bellatrix lit hers that time. “I bless this union with communication.” Alexia lit her candle and watched it brighten. “I bless this union with respect.” Dolohov pushed his into the fire, then, and it began glowing as well. “And I bless this union with power.” The final one, Rodolphus lit his candle. With all of them lit, they levitated them on the outer edge of the circle, ready to do the vows. 

“Lucius Malfoy, do you swear on your wand and magic to protect and care for Narcissa Black?”

“I do,” he confirmed softly. His wand, which he held in his hand, lit up the confirmation of the vow. 

“Do you swear on your wand and magic to live your lives in a partnership?”

“I do,” he agreed, and the wand continued to glow. 

“Do you swear to protect the Black and Malfoy families in your futures together?”

“I do.”

“Do you swear to respect the primacy Narcissa holds over you and your family?”

“I do.”

Arcturus nodded firmly, and the small glow from Lucius’s wand disappeared. He turned to Narcissa next, and she held her wand up as well. “Narcissa Black, do you swear to protect the Black family?”

“I do.” Her wand lit up, proving she truly wished to do so. 

“Do you swear to lead your family in a direction that you believe to be best for the Black family?”

“I do.”

“Do you swear to listen to your patriarch’s will over that of your husband’s?”

“I do."

At that, her wand lit up and then faded. Arcturus glanced around. “We will now exchange a protective necklace.”

Alexia took in a deep breath and stepped into the middle of the circle, just in front of the couple, who both turned to her. 

“Alexia Potter, please state your wishes for this union.”

That part was something she hadn’t been informed of until the day before, and she’d had a hell of a time trying to figure it out. In the end, she supposed it was the perfect opportunity to wish them her best. 

“In this necklace, I have placed all of my hopes and certainties for your lives together,” she began, looking at them both with a soft smile, which they returned. “For your futures, I see a sort of partnership, care, and respect that is rare. I hope that you will always remember that you can weather anything and come out the other end, so long as you’re together. Your lives may not be easy, or simple, or safe, but when you’re together, it will be content. It will be a blessing. In this necklace, I have put all of my hopes and fears and love for you both, and it will protect you until the day I no longer believe in these things. I truly couldn’t imagine a better match for either of you.”

“You may take the necklace,” Arcturus instructed. Alexia tilted her head down and Lucius removed it from her neck. He turned to his bride and put it on her instead. When it touched Narcissa’s neck, there was a flash of bright golden magic that went outward and then flew back into the necklace. 

But like the purebloods they were, no one batted an eye.

“I now pronounce you Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy,” Arcturus exclaimed. He didn’t invite them to kiss because just like the rest of the ceremony, it wasn’t much about love. Instead, the music started and the couple headed down the aisle to make their way into the Manor. 

* * *

The head table at the reception was a large one. It seated more than the wedding party and their parents, but also close friends and family. That included, to Alexia’s dismay, Sirius. They still hadn’t spoken yet aside from snide remarks or flat out glares, and neither of them wanted to be sat together. Neither of them had a doubt in their mind that it was Narcissa’s doing, either. 

Alexia and Severus had already given their speeches. While Dolohov had taken over most duties, Lucius had insisted Severus do the speech. Cygnus had also given his speech, which was rather dry and bigoted, and currently, Abraxas was stood with his wand making his voice louder, telling everyone about the how there hadn’t been such a wonderful pairing in decades. Alexia had zoned out about two minutes in, and Sirius wasn’t paying attention either.

No, being forced to sit next to her for so long for the first time in a while, Sirius was deeply contemplating their situation. More to the point, he was thinking about everything he’d wanted to say to her but that James and Remus had spent hours convincing him not to.

“Why’d you do it?” he whispered to her suddenly. She started at the noise, having been thinking about how early she could sneak out without it being socially unacceptable. She blinked at him a few times, trying to understand what he meant after having been so zoned out for so long. 

“Huh?”

“Why’d you kill him?”

Alexia flinched at the words. “Sirius, now isn’t the time. You can yell at me later, but not now.”

“It sure as hell is the time,” he snapped, albeit quietly. “Answer me, Potter. Why’d you kill him?”

“It was an accident,” she allowed. “I was trying to do something. He knew it was dangerous, he knew what would happen, and he’d have been safe if he hadn’t come in.” 

“So it’s his fault then?” he sneered at her, this time a bit louder. She glanced around, spotting Dolohov watching them closely and looking very much ready to intervene. 

“That’s not what I’m saying,” she whispered softly, trying to calm him down. “I’m just saying, we both knew the risks. It  _ was _ my fault, but it wasn’t on purpose.”

“ _ Then why is he dead _ ?” 

“Because I couldn’t control myself,” she hissed, considering silencing him. She threw the idea out because she knew he could do some wandless magic and would just remove it. “I got upset, so upset, and my accidental magic went crazy. He tried to come help me, and it killed him. It was an accident. I cared for him too, Sirius.”

“Bullshit!” he finally yelled at her, silencing everyone else. They stared at her and she put her hands up, hoping to get him to shut up, but he continued. “If you cared for him, he wouldn’t be dead!”

“Padfoot-,” James called from a table in the back, his tone warning. 

“I  _ did _ care for him,” she continued. He shot out of his chair and pulled a wand, and she got up then too, hoping she could convince him to leave to argue. “But he should have been safe! Be pissed at me all you want, but stop acting like a  _ child. _ ” 

“ _ Diffindo _ !” 

There were some screams, and soon Alexia and Sirius both found themselves being pulled apart. Sirius’s wand was ripped from his hands by Regulus, and she was pushed behind Dolohov. 

“Don’t touch her again,” Dolohov warned, his voice low. 

Alexia’s eyes were on Regulus, who was glaring at her openly. “Reg, please-,”

“I won’t let you ruin another relationship,” he told her. He grabbed Sirius roughly and dragged him out to the right of the tent they were in. Before she could even feel the pain from the words or just apologize for the interruption, Antonin was guiding her out the other way and into the house. They didn’t stop until they reached a bedroom, the one that she’d slept in the night before. How he’d known that, she wasn’t sure, but he sat her down on the bed and pulled his wand to heal the gash on her shoulder and part of her neck. 

“ _ This is deep _ ,” he told her quietly. He healed it as much as he could with his wand before looking at her expectantly. “ _ Dittany _ .”

“Oh,” she breathed. She grabbed her bag, which she’d left on the bed that morning, and found the potion in question. She hissed when he began dripping it into the remaining cut. She didn’t even notice him grabbing her hand, nor her squeezing it slightly. It took nine drops in total for the thing to heal, and he closed up the bottle one-handed. 

“ _ I’m afraid there isn’t much I can do for your robes _ ,” he told her. After the argument she’d had, and the drama, and the pain, and Regulus’s words, she couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculously stupid detail. 

“ _ I have no clue what I’d do without you anymore. Who told you that you can come to the rescue like that all the fucking time _ ?”

“ _ I don’t need permission to protect what I care about, Hermione. _ ”

Alexia shifted at the unexpected butterflies. “ _ You may be one of the simplest relationships I have right now. I really need that. _ ”

“ _ I have nowhere to go _ ,” he told her, a quiet and simple promise. She met his eyes and this time, she wasn’t startled by how close they were, nor by the way the space between them continued to disappear. She closed her eyes and a moment later, felt his lips on hers. 

It was possibly the strangest feeling she’d ever felt. There was a slight tingle in the kiss, but it was deeply pleasant and had her opening her lips slightly. He accepted the invitation greedily and deepened the kiss, flicking his tongue gently across her own. She let out a soft gasp at the feeling and couldn’t help but retaliate. When she bit his tongue softly, he let out a small growl and, to her surprise, pushed her back on the bed, but before he moved, he waited. He waited until she looked up at him impatiently and, content with her being willing, moved on top of her. 

Her fingers threaded themselves into his hair and she used that to pull him down into another deep kiss. This time, they struggled for control over it, fighting to dominate each other. When it had been about five minutes and neither had won, he pulled out of the kiss and began kissing down her jaw to her neck, where he began sucking. The aggressiveness of it surprised her into letting out a small moan, which he took as what it was - complete approval. Once he was sure there was a deep bruise forming on her neck, he continued his trek downward, kissing a path to her breasts, where a bit of cleavage poked out of the dress. His magnificent skills were suddenly focused there, and she found herself scratching at his arms and back. To make that task easier, he pulled his robes off, leaving only his trousers. 

Alexia laid back and stared at him. Part of her wondered how exactly they’d gotten there, why she was letting him do any of that, and why she didn’t have anything against it, while the rest of her just wanted to enjoy it. He waved his wand at her robes and suddenly, they were on the other side of the room. She’d chosen against wearing a bra or panties with the dress for the simple fact that it was silk and hugged her tightly enough that they would’ve been visible, so he was slightly surprised when there was nothing else to take off of her, but he kept going regardless. 

* * *

No one came looking for them. The only people allowed in the manor itself were the wedding party and the family of the couple, so unless Severus, Narcissa, or Lucius felt like checking on them, no one would be able to come find them. It was an hour and a half later when Alexia lay on her stomach with her head hanging off the side of the bed as he drew gentle patterns on her back. They’d finished up ten minutes prior and neither felt like confronting what awaited them in the garden. 

“ _ What do you think _ ?”

“ _ About _ ?”

“ _ Alphard’s death. Was it my fault? Is Sirius right in hating me? _ ”

Antonin took a moment to consider the question, not once stopping with the gentle patterns on her back. “ _ Has your accidental magic always shown itself as elemental magic _ ?”

Alexia shrugged, tugging at some of the hair that had come loose from the careful bun it had been in. “ _ Not really, no. It was around when we were captured and taken here that it started, but it didn’t become a regular thing until a couple of years ago. _ ”

“ _ And you got assistance with it immediately _ ?”

“ _ No, actually. I didn’t really know what it was. Fabian helped me figure it out, and then Pollux got me a book on the subject. _ ”

Antonin scoffed. “ _ You need years of assistance to learn to control regular Fiendfyre, much less accidental magic when you’re emotional. You could not have been expected to control it. Alphard would have known as much, so it is his fault he died. _ ”

Alexia made a face, regardless of the fact that he couldn’t see it. “ _ Croaker said I was melting the elemental-proof room. I’m assuming I was posing a danger to the rest of the Ministry. _ ”

“ _ Hermione, you are an unbearably good person _ ,” he told her, sounding truly troubled by that. “ _ Your intent was not to kill Alphard, and he put himself at risk, therefore, it is his fault and not yours. _ ”

Alexia let out a small laugh and turned over to look at him. “ _ Unbearably good. Why do you say that as if it’s a flaw _ ?”

“ _ The same reason being a Gryffindor is a flaw _ ,” he replied. He grabbed her hand out of the air as she tried to smack him and placed a kiss on the back of it. “ _ You will get yourself killed for the lives of others. This is, more than anything else, where we are fundamentally different. _ ”

“ _ I protect myself _ !” she defended. He raised an eyebrow at her, though she could see that he was actually upset with her. 

“ _ I watched you sacrifice yourself for someone else. You protect others first and then yourself, even if you hate them as you hate Mia. _ ”

She fell silent at that reminder. That entire encounter in Ruby’s universe had been deeply unsettling. She’d thought it was so ridiculous when Ruby’s husband had told her that Antonin was in love with her, but… she looked at their position and the way he was looking at her and wondered if she could really refute that anymore. Aside from that, there had been one thing that had bothered her greatly. “ _ Why did you kill him _ ?”

“ _ Because he hurt you _ ,” he said simply. She shook her head. 

“ _ I was already dead, Antonin. There was no reason to kill him. There was no reason to protect anyone else there, not for you. I can’t figure out why you killed him. _ ”

Antonin quieted. He looked her over and settled his hand on her hip, brushing his thumb over the scars he’d given her that were unlikely to ever go away. “ _ I was… furious. _ ”

Alexia’s brow furrowed as she tried to work that out. “ _ I don’t understand _ .”

“ _ You are exceptionally thick _ ,” he commented, earning himself a halfhearted glare. “ _ I was furious that he had taken you, Hermione. That he dared to kill you when you’re  _ mine _ was unacceptable. I would have killed Mia so he would understand, but he is obsessed with her. He would never truly understand. It would only be as if I’d taken away a toy _ .”

“ _ And the others would kill you _ ,” she said quietly, eyeing him. “ _ Why do you protect me? _ ”

“ _ Because I care. _ ”

“ _ Well I care about a lot of people but I don’t- I don’t do this, Antonin, so why do you protect me? _ ”

“ _ For a reason you would not currently care to hear. _ ”

“ _ Antonin-, _ ”

“ _ I have fallen in love with you, Hermione _ ,” he said before she could continue. She froze, everything she’d been prepared to complain about falling away as she tried to process his words. 

“ _ So- so this, you weren’t just-, _ ”

“ _ What this was _ ,” he said slowly, touching her cheek. It was such an intimate, gentle touch that despite her surprise, she leaned into it. “ _ Is the selfish moment I have been waiting for, and certainly something I did not expect you to be so… enthusiastic about. _ ”

Alexia chewed on her lip and cursed herself silently in just about any language she knew. Having feelings for Lucius and Regulus had clearly been an issue enough that she’d lost Regulus, but she was beginning to realize that for some time, feelings for Antonin had also been building.

And what the fuck was she supposed to do with those?

Change the subject, that’s what.

“ _ What was that… magic feeling _ ?” she asked after a minute or so of silence. At his immediate smirk, she rolled her eyes. “ _ Literal magic, Antonin. _ ”

“ _ That would be the bond we share. _ ”

Alexia felt panic grip her. “ _ We don’t have a bond. _ ”

“ _ The potential for one was formed when we were chosen as a pairing. We confirmed the beginning of the bond by having sex. Sealing it would be marriage. _ ”

“ _ But I have a soul bond. I thought it was impossible to have another _ .”

“ _ So long as your soul bond is not sealed, ours can overpower it. Should the need arise that we marry, we can and will have a full soul bond _ .”

Alexia shook her head at him, frowning deeply. “ _ We’re so different, Antonin. We believe in such different things. We fight for different things _ .”

“ _ I fight for safety from muggles _ ,” he told her. “ _ I fight to keep our traditions pure from muggleborns who do not understand them. I may not agree with everything I’m told to do, or everything the Dark Lord does, but he wants to keep us safe and pure. _

“ _ But he doesn’t _ ,” she disagreed. The urge to argue and raise her voice was there, but she genuinely wanted to take the time to discuss it with him in hopes of changing his mind. “ _ It’s just beginning. You haven’t seen the things I’ve seen, or done what you’ll be asked to do. He wants power, not to protect us. The only way to protect ourselves from muggles is to have an open line of communication with them and stay updated on the technology they have. _ ”

“ _ In an ideal world, I may agree with you. As it is now, our current ministry has no interest in speaking with muggles, nor researching them. You were the one that told me what a threat they are. _ ”

“ _ Yes, in an ideal world. That’s a world where people like you and I, who have the power to do so, actually put in the effort to change things _ .”

Antonin considered her for a long moment. “ _ In your time. In your time, I will work with you to keep us safe the way that it should be done. _ ”

Alexia nodded firmly, already feeling better about the situation. With that set aside, her mind drifted to the events of the day once more. “ _ So I don’t get the vows they made. They were mostly all focused on the houses." _

“ _ It is what arranged marriages are. They’re to protect assets and the futures of the families, most especially whoever has primacy. _ ”

“ _ And that would be Narcissa? _ ”

“ _ Think of it this way. If you and I married, you would have primacy as a member of the Houses of Black and Potter. _ ”

Alexia screwed up her face. “ _ Those things can be a part of the vows, but whenever I get married, it will be about love. The connection we have _ .”

“ _ You certainly have a wide selection to choose from, but I dare say no one would object to that. _ ”

She frowned slightly. Even earlier that day, she might’ve assumed he was only trying to upset her, but she felt it differently now. It was a small, sneaky transition into what he actually wanted to discuss, but would never ask outright. “ _ I don’t, really. Regulus broke up with me, and he won’t even speak with me. The worst part about it is that after carrying that necklace, I don’t think I even feel the same way about Lucius anymore." _

Antonin nodded, unsurprised. “ _ That would be the binding magic used. It encouraged a shift in your emotions to protect the marriage. _ ”

It made sense when she thought about it. If the necklace drew on her to protect Narcissa, then having feelings for Lucius could be a serious problem. As for the rest of the unasked question, she frowned at him. “ _ This- this isn’t something we can really do again, Antonin, for so many reasons. I’ve got so many people watching me, and you’re going to get busy with Voldemort. I also go back to school, and then I’ll be fighting, and then I’ll leave and- it’s just not possible. _ ”

“ _ I never asked for any sort of commitment, Hermione _ ,” he chuckled. “ _ As with everything else, we can speak again in twenty years. _ ”

That idea had her relaxing slightly, but it also worried her. She was still so uncertain about who he would be in the future, despite defending him to whoever asked. But it was a problem for later, and they’d certainly spent far too long away from the party. “ _ We need to get back down there before someone actually comes looking for us. I know Jamie’s already losing it. _ ”

“ _ Then perhaps we should repair your robes _ ,” he suggested. He summoned them and she caught them, looking them over. The cut wasn’t actually too bad and could likely be stitched up easily. The issue came in the blood on it, which she wasn’t sure how to get out in only a few minutes. 

“ _ I can stitch this up, I’ve got a small sewing kit in my bag, but that blood needs to soak in cold water, and that’ll take too long. _ ”

“ _ We have magic, Hermione _ ,” he laughed at her. He pointed his wand at the stain and she watched with relief as it disappeared. She took a moment to dig in her bag and find the needle and thread, and did her best to sew it up. Her hands were beginning to shake after not eating all day, but she managed to finish having only poked herself once. 

Alexia put her dress back on quickly, and spent some time fixing her hair and placing numerous stasis charms on it. By the time she’d finished, she looked exactly as she had before, only having removed her makeup that had gotten messy in their… activities. 

Antonin had taken his sweet time getting dressed again, but they managed to finish at the same time. Before she could hurry out of the room, he grabbed her and pulled her into another kiss, which she returned willingly. They were both aware that for the next two years - or twenty for Antonin - nothing was likely to happen again. 

“ _ Thank you _ ,” she whispered. Their kiss had ended, but they still stood close, their faces nearly touching. “ _ Again, for helping me. _ ” His hand brushed against her neck, making her wince in pain. The hickey was covered by her dress and a heavy notice-me-not charm, but that certainly didn’t reduce the pain. 

“ _ Do not get into trouble at Hogwarts, Hermione. I won’t be there to help you. _ ”

Alexia hummed. “ _ I really don’t think I can promise that. _ ”

“ _ In that case, go nowhere alone. If you find yourself truly in danger, send me a message. _ ”

She nodded once and glanced at the door. “ _ We need to go. _ ”

So, they did. When she suggested they go separately, he pointed out that to the group of Slytherins, that would be very indicative of what had happened, so he led her back into the garden. 

They’d barely stepped foot onto the grass when they were spotted by Arcturus. Alexia stopped walking when she saw him making his way purposefully over to them, which caused Antonin to nearly walk into her. He put his hands on her arms to keep from slamming into her, and they stood like that when the Black patriarch reached them.

“Come with me,” he instructed. Nervous, Alexia stepped forward, but the man stared at Antonin. “You as well, Dolohov.”

They were taken around the side of the manor to where another group was gathered - James, Sirius, and Regulus. It was when she saw Regulus that Alexia turned around and tried to walk away. Antonin, completely aware that she was trying to disobey the man that was technically her patriarch, grabbed her again and pushed her ahead of him, ignoring her as she smacked him and hissed at him in Russian. 

“Alexia, sit,” Arcturus ordered. She shook her head, much to the horror of James and Antonin.

“Neither of them want anything to do with me, and I’m not going to sit here and let them tell me how horrible of a person I am. I’d rather spend another hour and a half trying to sew this damn dress up again."

“Lex, come here,” James requested. She frowned at her brother. 

“Jamie, it’s not going to change.”

“ _ Sit, Hermione _ ,” Antonin told her firmly. “ _ You have a much better opportunity to mend these relationships with the Black patriarch mediating. _ ”

“No,” she said in English, turning her glare to him. His fingers ghosted over her arms and she suppressed a shiver. 

“ _ You owe him something. Your argument lost the Black family a bit of respect. You should be glad he is not attempting to torture you for your mistake. _ ”

Alexia scowled and, finally, she sat. As much as she didn’t want to be there - and she really didn’t - he had a point. Regardless of the fact that she’d tried to get Sirius to stop, she’d been a part of the problem. 

“The commotion earlier cannot happen again,” Arcturus told all of them. “There will be no bad blood between the three of you. The future depends on you setting aside these childish complaints and continuing on together.”

Sirius and Regulus, despite both of them being more than angry with her, looked to Alexia. She just nodded slightly in confirmation that, yes, Arcturus knew. 

“Grandfather, it’s very complicated,” Regulus said, his tone cool. “And personal. I apologize for my part in the situation, but I cannot see how I could ever forgive Alexia.”

“She killed Alphard,” Sirius said simply. 

Arcturus looked to his eldest grandson first, his patience on the subject thin. “You know nothing of the experiment they worked on together. Your uncle was aware that Fiendfyre was a common reaction to the emotional state this experiment put her in. He is at fault for his own death for the simple fact that he did not test the strength of her Fiendfyre before putting her in the room she was in. Nothing that happened was purposeful. Bertie Croaker cleared her of guilt, and so have I.”

“But he’s still dead,” Sirius insisted. 

“His death can be blamed purely on this war,” Arcturus said. It was a rather brilliant way of twisting the situation, so much so that Sirius frowned. 

“How? It was her.”

“The details of the experiment were confidential, but the experiment itself was an attempt to save lives. It was something that Alphard believed to be the best course of action, despite the clear danger.”

Sirius’s frown turned to Alexia. “Save lives?”

She nodded a bit hesitantly. “We hoped to, but… the person that gave us this information, she didn’t react the same way to it that I do. Her accidental magic was fire, but not Fiendfyre. We didn’t expect it to get worse the way it did, but losing the twins… it made everything worse.”

“How could his death be… an accident?” he asked, looking more confused than angry. “He was strong, he wasn’t supposed to… die like that.”

“I know,” she said softly. “I’m sorry, Sirius. I’ve seen people die as randomly as he did, and it never really gets better.”

“You’re sure it wasn’t her fault?” Sirius asked Arcturus, who just pinned him with a hard look. His gaze turned back to Alexia. “You’re not going to continue the experiment, are you?"

Alexia shook her head quietly, guilt filling her once more. “The lives we were trying to save… I won’t trade those for the lives of the people helping me. Croaker is holding onto it, and the research, with the advice to never touch it again.”

“Good,” he said firmly. “Then… then I guess I’m sorry for the, ah, curse.” 

“I’m fine,” she assured him. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“It was nine drops of Dittany bad,” Antonin disagreed. Sirius winced. 

“I’m sorry, Ash. You can curse me back if you want.”

“Not here,” Arcturus cut in. “Sirius, you are dismissed.”

“Finally,” he breathed. “We’ve been waiting here since you guys disappeared. I’m gonna go apologize to Cissa.”

They watched him leave and, once he was gone, Arcturus’s gaze turned to Regulus. “Tell me what happened.”

“She has had feelings for Lucius the entire time we’ve been together.”

Alexia winced. Before Arcturus could speak again, Antonin cut in, surprising all of them, but no one more than Alexia. 

“I believe that is my fault.”

“ _ How _ ?” James asked, bewildered. 

“Antonin, this is my mess,” Alexia told him slowly. Looking in her eyes, he spoke again. 

“I suggested to her that she still had feelings for him, more than once. It was easy to manipulate that situation with the sudden end of their relationship. Even if there were any remaining feelings for him - which I can assure you there weren’t - they would have been adjusted by the necklace. She has no romantic feelings for anyone but you, Black.”

“Then why the hell did you say you’d have married him?” Regulus asked Alexia.

“We were fighting, Reg,” she sighed. “You won’t listen to me. Antonin wouldn’t hurt me any more than Lucius would. That was the point I was trying to get across, but it just- it came out wrong. After Druella trying to kill me, and everything with Alphard, and the stress over this wedding, I just messed up. I will swear to you on my magic that I have no romantic feelings for Lucius anymore.”

“Do it.”

“Hold on,” James spoke up, shaking his head. “Lex, you can’t. That’s dangerous, it could hurt you.”

Alexia stared at Regulus. “I, Alexia Dorea Potter, swear on my wand and magic that I have no romantic feelings left for Lucius Malfoy.”

When nothing happened, proving that she was telling the truth, Regulus shook his head, confused. “You told me you did.”

“I was just confused,” she sighed, shifting in her seat uncomfortably. “And tired.”

“She hasn’t been sleeping again,” James confirmed for her. “She called me Fred the other day and used Lily’s wand as a coffee stirrer.” 

Regulus glanced at everyone else. “Can we talk privately?”

“Go inside,” Arcturus instructed. “She will be there in a few minutes.”

He did as he was told, leaving James, Alexia, Antonin, and Arcturus left. The old man put up a privacy ward around them before he spoke. 

“What you did,” he said, his voice low as he looked between Alexia and Antonin. “It will not happen again. You will not tell anyone, and you would do well to pretend it never happened to begin with.” 

Alexia’s eyes widened. She looked to her brother, who looked a bit like he was going to be sick. “Oh my god,  _ our bond _ .”

“Yeah, I  _ never _ want to be that aware of what you’re doing again,” he told her in disgust. “The only reason I’m not losing my shit on him is because you were, ah….  _ Interested _ .”

“I wasn’t aware we had an audience,” Antonin said, vaguely amused. Alexia shot him a glare that only made him chuckle. “You have nothing to worry about. We’re both clear on what our futures hold for us, and anything similar to our activities earlier will not be possible for a long while.”

“You would do well to remember that the House of Black has a much stronger claim on Alexia than the House of Dolohov. More than anything, she has a bond with a member."

“Yes, I’m aware,” he said, raising an eyebrow at Alexia. “I believe Hermione will make the right decision, in the end.”

* * *

The first thing Alexia did after being released from the conversation with Arcturus was hurry inside to find Regulus. He sat waiting for her, looking troubled. She slowed in the door to the room, unsure if she could handle the possible outcome of the situation. “Regulus?”

He looked up at her, looking as if she was the biggest problem in the world, and one he wasn’t sure how to solve. “Come in. Close the door.” Once she’d done that and sat across from him, he took in a deep breath before speaking again. “I need you to explain to me why you trust Dolohov as much as you do. Tell me, truly tell me, why you feel so safe with him.”

Alexia took in a breath, trying to figure out how to explain it without giving away the fact that Dolohov had fallen in love with her. “All of our interactions have… changed since that ball. I won’t say he’s a good person, but he’s… different. He’s better. He isn’t protecting me because of his patriarch anymore. He’s doing it because he actually cares. When I died in that other universe, he shouldn’t have cared aside from the fact that his patriarch would be pissed, but he did. He was furious, and he killed that alternate version of himself. The fact alone that he admitted to trying to convince me I had feelings for Lucius… it says a lot to me. I’m not sure if he regrets it, but he at least cares enough to know that you make me so  _ fucking _ happy- that I’m happiest when I’m with you, and he decided to try to help me.”

“And after manipulating you, you still trust him?” he wondered, not giving any of his thoughts away. It was something she wasn’t used to, and it made her incredibly uncomfortable. 

“I do,” she confirmed slowly, though it was a good question. He had messed with her, and she wasn’t sure if there was any solid reason he wouldn’t do it again. Despite that, she was certain. “I just have this feeling, this gut feeling that he wouldn’t. We talked a lot while I was fixing my dress, and I think we’ve established that he can’t… fuck with my life.”

Regulus let out a small sigh. “I can’t say I trust him, but I will try to trust you and your opinion. If he does begin this again, you have to tell me.”

“I should’ve told you before, I was just so annoyed with him, and I didn’t want to make the situation worse,” she told him quickly. “And I’m sorry that I didn’t.”

Regulus got to his feet and stepped over to her. She let him grab her hand and pull her to her feet. And then, much to her relief, he kissed her. 

They spent what was probably an inappropriate amount of time like that, both of them finally breathing again and letting out the deep anxiety that had built up. When their lips parted, she hummed contently. 

“I love you, Reg.”

He pressed a kiss to her nose. “I love you, too.”

“Oh!” Alexia gasped, her eyes widening. “Oh, god. I have to go apologize. What happened after we left, do you know?”

“They continued with the speeches and started dinner,” he told her. “Grandfather kept us away from everyone to wait for you to get back. Did it really take that long to fix your dress?”

She screwed up her face. “Blood is hard to get out of clothing, even with years of experience. I also poked myself sewing my dress, which is why I don’t sew.”

Regulus chuckled and reached for her hands. She offered the correct one, and he found the small, irritated spot and kissed it. “There are spells for that, Little Lion.”

“Well, neither of us knew any,” she huffed. “Excuse me for spending my life learning defense rather than life skills like that.”

He slipped his hand into hers and pulled her out of the room and through the manor. “I’ll show you.”

Alexia glanced around the garden when they got outside. She spotted Narcissa and Lucius together, speaking with Sirius, who looked rather uncomfortable. She snorted a little. “Maybe we can watch this happen and  _ then _ apologize.”

Regulus rolled his eyes at her and pulled her over to the table. Sirius looked up in relief at the sight of them as they approached the table. “Narcissa, Lucius.”

“I see you made up,” Narcissa smiled softly at them. “Good.”

“I’m sorry about what happened,” Alexia told them both sincerely. “I never meant for it.”

“We were both aware that sitting you together could be… dramatic,” Lucius raised an eyebrow at her. “The outcome is what we were looking for.”

“I’m also sorry,” Sirius piped in. Narcissa laughed at her cousin.

“It’s fine. I’m sure you’re all hungry, so go ahead and eat.” 

And just like they, they were both forgiven and dismissed, so the trio went to get food and  _ not _ be the cause of any more disruptions.

* * *


	41. Work A Little Harder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sad Boi James :(( Sad Boi Lily :(( (but honestly mostly angry Lily)
> 
> Regulus Deserves Better Part 2 (poor Antonin)

**Chapter Forty-One**

_ Your mind’s already been made up _

_ You saw my number and my number wasn’t good enough _

**September 12th, 1977**

Sirius had two free periods that year - one in the morning and one directly after lunch, which meant that instead of using the time to do homework or otherwise study, he used the hour to head to his dorm for a nap. That day, however, Alexia was already in the dorm, lying in James’s bed with her Patronus skipping around the room. 

“I thought you weren’t gonna skip class this year,” he commented, making his way to plop onto James’s bed. He fell back until he was lying with his legs hanging off the side of the bed, and she was forced to scoot upward so he didn’t land on her. 

“I was out all night at a surprise raid,” she explained, clearly irritated by the night’s events. “Dumbledore excused me from classes for the rest of the day. I was going to sleep, but I can’t.”

Sirius shifted a little to look at her. Regardless of their years of friendship, he still found himself nervous, especially considering the topic he was about to raise again. “Ash, I wanted to talk to you.”

She glanced down at him with a slight frown. “This seems serious.”

To her shock, he didn’t even make the usual joke but rather just nodded a bit. “It’s been five years, Lexi. I think maybe we should talk about the bond again.”

Alexia froze. She had no clue what to say to him on the subject anymore. “Sirius, you’re dating Marlene. If you honestly still have feelings for me, I might have to hex you.”

“No, not like that,” he assured her quickly. He pulled himself up and shifted until he sat in front of her, making it easier to talk. “I want you to tell me why you’re actually against dating me.”

“I just don’t feel that way about you.”

He shook his head. “It’s more than that, Lexi. I just want to understand completely, okay? This isn’t me wanting to be with you, this is me trying to put this entire situation to rest."

She sighed softly. He was right, of course. There was a lot more to it than the fact that she didn’t see him in a romantic sense, but he’d never been open to listening about it before. He likely would’ve just denied what she said. Still, as she looked at her friend, she realized that he had definitely matured, so she nodded. 

“I’m not lying when I say I don’t have romantic feelings for you, but aside from that… I knew you pretty well. You took care of me for some time. I never saw you as anything other than Harry’s godfather and… something like family, and I know you felt the same. Our relationship was just too familial. So while there’s a chance I  _ could _ grow feelings for you if we dated here, I don’t want to. Assuming you’re alive when I get back… I couldn’t do it. You now and you in the future… it’s just very different for me. I can’t imagine going to the future and trying to shift that familial relationship into something romantic. Besides, I really don’t think you’d be comfortable with it, either. You’ve known me since I was fourteen. You watched me get older, gave me advice, and listened to me complain about boys. Trying to shift that to a romantic relationship would be like… trying to date my dad, or an older brother.”

Sirius was quiet as he tried to process her words. Despite the slight frustration he felt, he could see her point. He couldn’t be the same exact person she knew in the future, so it sort of made sense that to her, the him of the past and the him of the future were completely different. Things would be hard enough for her when she got to the future, and trying to add something so uncomfortable on top of everything else? He couldn’t do that to her. 

“I’m sorry,” he said finally. “For being so… difficult about this. The way I was raised, bonds are sacred. Our family does our best to listen to them, or we used to. Plus… I guess it seemed easy. We’re close, and I already love you, so being together just made a sort of sense to me. I should’ve listened to you before.” 

Alexia shrugged lightly. “I knew it was difficult for you to understand, really. And I am sorry that dating Regulus was… uncomfortable for you.”

Sirius screwed up his face. “Honestly, I thought you were doing it to get back at me for being an ass, at first.” She rolled her eyes at him and he shrugged. “I might’ve been awful to you this summer, but I’ve never seen you as miserable as you were when he broke up with you. Prongs said you got drunk?”

Alexia grimaced. “I got drunk and told him some sensitive information about his personal future. Antonin saved me and Obliviated him again, luckily.”

“Dolohov Obliviated him?” Sirius asked, slightly panicked. She made a face at him. 

“He helped me, Padfoot. He came over to make sure I hadn’t died or something and found me screaming that stuff at James, so he got me a potion to sober up, sent me to bed, and Obliviated James.”

“He could’ve done anything!” 

She sighed. “I trust Antonin, but I did check Jamie’s head before he woke up just to make sure he didn’t do anything unnecessary. He only took out the things he shouldn’t know. It’s fine.”

“You really shouldn’t trust him, kitten,” Sirius told her slowly. “He’s dangerous.” 

“Not to me,” she told him firmly. “And I’ve had enough of this argument recently, so you can either stop, or I can leave.”

Sirius rolled his eyes, perfectly aware that she was done listening to him. “Well, the reason I brought all of this up is because of Marlene.”

“Mm?” she raised an eyebrow. “You guys have been dating for a while, haven’t you?”

He nodded, suddenly nervous. Truthfully, his half-baked plan had been on his mind all summer, and he’d only decided firmly on doing it when he’d seen his girlfriend again. “Lexi… I wanted to tell you first because it would theoretically affect you the most…”

“What is it?” she frowned at him. 

“I think I’m going to propose to her.”

Alexia stared at him dumbly. “ _ You _ ?  _ You’re _ going to  _ propose _ ?”

“I love her, Lexi,” he assured her. “A lot, actually. Like… holy shit, I love her. And I might hate this pureblood bullshit way of doing things, but Marls doesn’t, actually, and she really likes the idea of… all of this, so I wanna do it for her.”

Alexia’s lips twitched. “Did Marlene turn you  _ romantic _ ?”

“Shut up,” he rolled his eyes. “Point is, I’m doing it soon. I was hoping you’d go with me to find a ring for her. I know Prongs has Mum’s ring, but I was hoping we could find something else of Mum’s.”

“Well,” she said firmly, getting up. “I’ve got nothing to do, and you have a free period, so it looks like we’re going to Gringott’s.”

“I was- I was more thinking this weekend.”

“Nope!” she grinned. “C’mon, they’ll be pretty empty now.”

Despite his admittedly weak protests, Sirius found himself being dragged out of the castle and to Diagon Alley. The process of getting to the vaults was always long, but when they got there, they were both immediately overwhelmed by the amount of jewelry they had to pick from. 

“Right,” Alexia said slowly, looking around. “Well…. Let’s get started, I guess.”

* * *

**September 13th, 1977**

Alexia grabbed Regulus’s shirt and lifted it up slowly, her hand on his arm. He helped her remove it completely and, when it was gone, pulled her in for another kiss. “I can’t believe it’s taken us this long.”

“We’ve been busy,” he reminded her. “Are you sure you want to do this now? I’m sure it can take a lot out of you.”

“I’m certain,” she assured him, reaching down. When her hand came back up again, she was holding a dagger, which he looked at nervously, making her chuckle. “I’m not going to press it to your skin, Reg, don’t worry.”

“I trust you,” he told her, though his voice was cautious. With his hesitance in mind, she moved slowly. She drew the correct runes first, watching as they gathered together above his skin. When she’d finished the last one, she drew the mark over top of them and then watched as the entire thing sunk into his skin, burning him slightly and activating the runes until it looked like he had a muggle tattoo. 

“All done,” she smiled. She put her dagger away and brushed her fingers over the new mark. “I gotta say, it looks good.” 

“Mm, I happen to remember yours was quite beautiful,” he whispered, pulling her closer to kiss her. She was sitting in his lap and wrapped her arms loosely around his neck. 

“I tested it on myself first, so it’s a bit rough around the edges,” she disagreed, pulling back a bit to push up her shirt and show him. He pressed his thumb lightly against the outer edges of the mark, brushing it over the entire thing. 

“Anything would look beautiful on you, Little Lion.”

She hummed contentedly. “Thank you for letting me do this, Reg. I don’t  _ think _ they’ll try to arrest you, but we just don’t know.”

“Who else has it?”

“Only Lucius, at the moment,” she answered slowly. Things were still a bit tense with that situation, but they were getting steadily better. That time, he didn’t even frown at the mention of her friend. “I’m going to find Severus soon and give it to him, as well. It’s actually been a while since we’ve been able to spend time together, so I’m going to study with him in a few minutes, actually. You’re welcome to join us.”

“Anyone else?” Regulus wondered, running his fingers over her arms gently enough to give her shivers. Two other names popped into her head, and she immediately ruled out the idea of telling him about one - Dolohov. Instead, she offered him a smile. 

“Narcissa. I owled her this morning about meeting up and having a girl’s night the next time we’re both free. She never becomes a Death Eater, but she was frighteningly close to Voldemort for a long time and… it’s easier this way.”

Regulus hummed, dancing his fingers across her collarbone and up her neck until he could pulled her face closer to kiss her. “And you’re certain you have to leave?”

Alexia groaned, deeply wishing she didn’t. “If you’d asked me last year, I’d have said no and we could stay here, but I actually have to put effort into my work this year.”

Disappointed but not surprised, he pecked her cheek and shooed her off of his lap. Once he’d gathered his bag, the pair of them made their way to the library, where they found a  _ very _ odd sight - Severus sitting with Antonin, speaking together. 

“Uh,” Alexia said as she stopped short. With her hand gripping onto Regulus, he was forced to stop as well and looked up. When he caught sight of the two men, he frowned at them. 

“Severus,” he raised an eyebrow. 

“ _ Okay, you don’t even go here _ !” Alexia exclaimed with a small huff, something that only made Antonin chuckle fondly. 

“ _ Believe it or not, I do happen to remember graduating, Hermione. I am here to pass on a message _ .”

“ _ To Severus? _ ”

“ _ To Dumbledore _ ,” he disagreed. “ _ I did tell you I would be obtaining my position in the Department of Mysteries. I was sent to deliver information he requested on his wards around the school. _ ”

“He’s here for Dumbledore,” she explained to Regulus, who was quickly losing his patience. “ _ But then why are you with Severus? _ ”

“ _ Waiting for you, of course. _ ”

Alexia made a face at him, but sat down. When her boyfriend just stared at her, she shrugged. “I’m not going to let him get in the way of keeping my grades up, Reg. He can continue being a stalker, and I can write my essay.”

“ _ Actually, I am leaving _ ,” he disagreed, getting to his feet. His gaze lingered on her for a long moment, long enough that Regulus looked between them with a slight frown. “ _ I’ll be seeing you, Hermione. Refrain from getting in danger in the meantime, or I’ll have to come back. Remember, a letter works well, too. _ ”

She rolled her eyes and nodded, not bothering to otherwise respond. Once he’d gone, she looked to her friend. “What did he want?”

“He didn’t tell you?” he asked her in surprise. She shook her head. “Then what exactly were you two talking about?”

Alexia shrugged and began pulling out her books. “He was just being… him. The only important information I got is that he’s working for the DOM and he was here to talk with Dumbledore. Then he told me to stay out of trouble, which was just annoying.”

“Thus the eyeroll,” Severus muttered. “Must you speak in Russian with him?”

“He’s the only other person I know that does so, and even if I don’t, he will,” she replied as she set her things up. Regulus shifted his own bag to allow her room for her parchment. “And then I’ll get confused and start speaking a mix of English and Russian, and maybe French, and it’s a mess. It still happens sometimes.”

“It does make me a bit… uncomfortable,” her boyfriend told her. She looked at him in slight surprise. “I trust you, Lexi, but I don’t trust him.”

“What exactly do you expect him to do?” she wondered absently as she began writing the first draft of her essay. “He’s not going to hurt me, I can promise you that. Like I said, I trust him.”

“I don’t think he’s going to  _ hurt _ you,” he said before pausing. “Well, I do, but I promised to trust you on that. I’m worried about the way he looks at you.”

“And how is that, exactly?” she questioned, glancing up. 

“He looks at you like he cares for you,” he told her. She blinked.

“Yes, and? I’ve told you he does. It’s how I know he won’t hurt me.”

“ _ And _ it’s far too obvious for being such a perfect Slytherin.”

Severus grimaced. “He actually has a point, Alex. He doesn’t bother to hide his care for you in front of anyone. In front of other Death Eaters, it’s a warning to stay away. In front of us, in front of Regulus… he’s making it clear that he has feelings for you, too.”

Alexia’s lips thinned, and she was immediately uncomfortable. “I don’t think he does. It’s probably just because of our… situation.”

“I disagree,” Regulus told her calmly. “But I trust you, so I’ll just warn you that he does have feelings for you, and he very well may try… something.”

Alexia’s mind flashed back to the night of Lucius and Narcissa’s wedding when Antonin had kissed her like it was the end of the world. She sucked in a breath and shook herself slightly. “Thank you for the warning, Reg, but I promise it won’t be a problem for many reasons, the biggest of which being that he’s graduated and I have a far smaller chance of just running into him."

“Aside from raids.”

“Sure, but we’re too busy fighting to sit and chat,” she scoffed. “Seriously, I’ve got it handled, Reg.”

“I know.”

“Great. Can we get back to studying now?” Severus requested, looking relieved to be done with the conversation. Alexia lit up and shook her head. 

“I’ve got a mark to give you!”

* * *

**October 20th, 1977**

James read the letter over for the fifth time, blinking down at it in frustration. Lily sat by his side and rubbed his back lightly, her head on his shoulder. “I don’t get it.”

“Why’re you having such a hard time with this?” she wondered softly. He opened his mouth to answer and then closed it again, suddenly unsure. “You were raised in this world, James. You always knew you’d end up here.”

“Yeah, but… I always thought it would happen later, when I’ve gone through all my Auror training and everything,” he admitted, setting the parchment on the bed next to him. “Now… should I even do it?” 

“Your House would be best in your hands,” she told him. “I think it’s a good idea. It would take a lot of time to vet a new and competent regent, anyway. Plus, with the war, isn’t it important to keep your House strong?”

James nodded quietly. She wasn’t wrong - they’d already suffered in the months since his parents had died, and it would take time to reverse that damage. The recent death of their regent was no doubt targeted and done under the assumption that James wouldn’t take up his role. “I’ve gotta find an heir, though.”

“Why?” Lily frowned in confusion. “Shouldn’t it be your grandkids or something?”

“Usually,” he allowed. “But with the war going… if I died without an heir, we’d be even more fucked than we are now. It’d be a long legal process for Ash to claim the title of heir, and then being recognized as a legitimate Lady would be difficult, too.”

“So, it’ll be Alex,” Lily shrugged. “When do you have to get it done by?”

He grabbed the letter again and scanned it until he found the information he needed and grimaced. “The end of next week.”

* * *

**October 26th, 1977**

Getting the Lord and Heir ceremonies sorted was done at Gringott’s with the help of Pollux, who had been more than willing to skip his own class to help them protect their House. Alexia had complained and resisted for days until she’d been dragged to do it, at which point James had snapped at her. 

“Do you  _ want _ our House to die out? Because if you don’t do this, we might.”

She’d shut up pretty quickly after that. The ceremonies had taken some time, and when they were done, they were almost late for the part that they were  _ both _ dreading - the Wizengamot session.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Alexia asked James as they walked into the hall and sat in their House seats. There was one for Lord and Heir, which meant that Alexia didn’t have to sit in the public section. 

“You trust him,” he looked at her. “Give me a better idea, Lex, and we’ll go with that. You trust him, but Mum trusted him, too.”

“It’s not about the trust,” she sighed, leaning closer to set up a privacy bubble once they were in their seats. “It’s about who we align ourselves with, Jamie. The three of us know why we’re doing this, but everyone else? They might see it as a clear sign that we’re not as light as our parents.”

“I know,” he shrugged. He was clearly frustrated and stressed, and she felt bad about making it worse. “Again, give me a better idea and we’ll do it.”

Unhappy, Alexia sat back. She  _ didn’t _ have a better idea. Complaining probably wasn’t all that helpful, but she couldn’t help it. It felt wrong for them to be there when it should’ve been their parents. They’d been supposed to be free to finish up school before taking up the family seats, but with the unexpected death of the regent Charlus had picked out years ago, they were alone. 

The session started a few quiet moments later with Dumbledore leading it. Family matters came before law making simply because it could impact who could and couldn’t vote and how many votes they’d have. With the war going, there were many changes in family matters as entire families were killed and their votes were dispersed. Luckily, that session, there were very few changes. 

“Ah, I see,” Dumbledore hummed, looking up at the family seats to find James and Alexia. “Mister Potter, you have a few announcements?” 

James got to his feet with a nod. Alexia could feel his nerves clearly through the bond and silently grabbed his hand that fell at his side. He squeezed onto it, took a deep breath, and spoke. “Our regent, Daniel Penbrook, was killed last week in an attack by Death Eaters. Because of this, I’ve taken up Lord Potter and named my sister, Alexia Potter, as my heir.”

“You can’t!” someone - Theodore Nott Sr. - called out, gaining stares. “Alexia Potter is adopted. She is not a real Potter.”

“Blood adopted,” James snapped. “How the hell do you know, anyway?”

“A good friend did in depth research on her,” he glared. Alexia’s eyes shot to Antonin, who was openly glaring at Nott.

“Magical blood adoption is legitimate adoption,” Antonin spoke up. “I can confirm that Alexia is, in fact, a Potter.”

“Well how the fuck would  _ you _ know?” Mulciber asked sharply. 

“ _ Your daggers _ ,” he said, meeting Alexia’s eyes. She understood immediately what he meant - their conversation in the forest years earlier. 

“Oh,” she breathed. “ _ I don’t have them on me. They took them before I could get in here. Worried about me stabbing shit, I guess. _ ”

“She requires her daggers,” Antonin told Dumbledore firmly. The man frowned between them. 

“I’m afraid weapons such as those aren’t allowed in the hall, and I fail to see how daggers would prove her as a Potter.”

“Oh,” James’s eyes lit up. “Actually, he’s right. How’d he know about them, Lex?”

“He took one from me when I was practicing in the forest,” she answered. “I turned off the recall spell for practice, and he grabbed one from the tree.”

“ _ When _ ?”

“I hardly think that’s important at the moment,” she scoffed, eyeing Dumbledore. “My daggers are a Potter heirloom that can only be handled by a Potter. If someone without Potter magic tried to, say, stab something with them, it would pass right through.”

“And the guards have these daggers?”

“Yes.”

Dumbledore waved the door open and brought in a guard with the daggers. He summoned a large block of wood and told the man to stab it, which he did, despite his confusion. Just as Alexia had said, it passed straight through the wood and landed on the floor with a loud clang. 

“That proves nothing!” Rosier shouted angrily. “They could be charmed to do that!” 

“I am curious as to why Mister Dolohov would vouch for her if he were not telling the truth,” Dumbledore replied calmly. 

“Everyone knows he wants to fuck her,” Amycus Carrow snarled. James and Antonin both looked equally pissed, though it was James that shouted. 

“Hey, shut the fuck up!” James snapped angrily. Antonin raised an eyebrow at Carrow that promised of punishment for the comment, but he refrained from saying or doing anything in front of so many people.

“Language, Mister Carrow, Lord Potter,” Dumbledore said, trying to calm them down. “Miss Potter, would you mind coming down and demonstrating for us?”

“Send it up here,” she shrugged. Despite giving her an odd look, Dumbledore levitated the dagger up to her. She took it in her hand and, after adjusting her grip just right, she threw it hard at the piece of wood that was still in the middle of the floor. It sunk in, and everyone was quiet for just a moment. 

“Lord Potter, can you use the dagger as well?”

James’s anger faded as he blinked slightly. “I wasn’t trained with them, just Lexi, but I guess I can come down and stab it?”

“Please do.”

So, he did as he said and, just as expected, the dagger worked for him, too. Once he handed it off to the guard and got to his seat again, Dumbledore looked around at the group of people.

“I see no right to deny Miss Potter her legal rights over her House. She may be adopted, but she is very clearly a true Potter. Unless anyone else can present more information-,”

“She’s a mudblood!” 

Everyone turned to the high, unpleasant voice that had called out the word. Upon finding her, Alexia paled dramatically and felt nauseous. Truthfully, it was a very unexpected reaction to seeing the woman again. There had certainly been worse things in her life, but clearly the repeated abuse and torture had left a mark. 

“Watch your tongue,” Arcturus snapped at her, speaking for the first time. “This young woman is protected by the Black family.”

“And the Malfoy family,” Abraxas agreed. 

“And the Dolohov family,” Antonin said, his voice low and dangerous. 

“And I’ll fucking curse you,” James spoke up, his patience long since run out. “That’s my sister you’re talking about.”

“But she is!” Umbridge insisted, albeit a bit cowed. “Surely you all must know this. The same informant that found out she is adopted found out she is a mud-  _ muggleborn _ . She is not fit to someday claim one of the largest, most powerful Houses in the wizarding world.”

“Dumbledore,” Alexia spoke up, her voice low and shaking slightly. “There’s nothing anyone here can do about me being the heir, but they’re all very welcome to  _ try _ . They won’t get very far, and it won’t turn out well for them. I’m going to leave. I don’t feel like sitting here and listening to these people trying to invalidate my place in my own House, and I’ve got a shit ton of homework to do.”

“The notification of James Potter being Lord and Alexia Potter being heir is recognized,” Dumbledore announced, dismissing her. She pecked James’s cheek, got up, and made her way out of the hall with her fists clenched tightly. James stayed behind, glaring out at everyone. 

“Our final announcement is that our new regent is Lord Arcturus Black.”

That, as predicted, shocked many people, but no one spoke. It was a silent sort of understanding, or assumption, that the Potters had shifted from light to dark. Although, perhaps they shouldn’t have been so surprised - they did just have three dark aligned Houses defend the new Potter heir, after all. 

Arcturus confirmed the news, and Dumbledore recognized it and moved on. 

Whatever change happened that day in the Wizengamot, it felt… curious, and left everyone to consider it as the session moved on without another comment to the commotion.

* * *

**November 11th, 1977**

The situation they found themselves in at that moment was a complete accident. 

Alexia had been invited to study with Remus and Lily the next day for the upcoming midterms the night prior, and had promptly forgotten. When she’d woken up the next morning, she’d run into Severus and Regulus on her way to the library and had invited them to join. They spent the majority of the morning at their usual table, and the problem had arisen when Severus had gone off to get a new quill from his dorm as his had broken and no one else had a spare one. 

That was, of course, when Remus and Lily had finally arrived in the library. They both took their seats at the table, unsurprised to find Regulus there with Alexia, and got to doing their thing. So focused on what she was trying to understand - when the hell did muggle geometry have anything to do with  _ runes _ ? - Alexia hadn’t even realized what was happening. 

Severus got back to the table about ten minutes after Remus and Lily had arrived, and he stopped short upon seeing his old best friend sitting right next to where his things were laid out. He just stared, unsure if he should even try to grab his things and leave. In the face of Death Eaters, he could be cool and composed, but Lily? He had no chance. 

Finally, she glanced up to ask Remus a question and caught sight of him. The confused frown fell from her face and shifted into the same hurt and anger he’d seen every time they were in the same room. “What do you want?”

Her sharp words caught the attention of everyone else, who took in the situation pretty quickly. 

“Oh, shit,” Alexia whispered.

“I was studying here,” he told her as calmly as he could, nodding at his things. “I left for a quill.”

Lily’s eyes shot to her friend. “Alex, did you-,”

“No,” Alexia shook her head quickly. Lily’s frown moved between Severus and Alexia before settling on Remus. 

“I’ll see you later,” she told her friend. She gathered her things and hurried out of the library without another word to anyone else. Severus let out a frustrated breath and sat back down. He was tense, but he got right back to his work without another word. 

“I’m gonna go with her, Ash,” Remus said quietly. He picked up his books as well and, with a small smile to Alexia, hurried out after Lily. Once he was gone, Alexia groaned and let her head fall onto her textbook. 

“How has she been with everything?” Regulus asked her gently. Without picking her head up, she shrugged. 

“Not good. I think she’s been pissed at me for being friends with Death Eaters. You’re probably the only exception, and that’s just because Sirius and Jamie have assured her you’re not… bad. She’s getting increasingly more bitter and angry.”

“I imagine that would be my fault,” Severus told her, gaining her attention. “She takes my being a Death Eater very personally. After what I said to her-,”

“I won’t say it doesn’t make things worse,” Alexia allowed, leaning up again to look at her friend. “But it’s more than that. We’ve actually argued a few times in the last few months. Since things are getting worse, she just can’t understand any justification for being a Death Eater or… I guess, being friends with and dating them.”

“And what exactly have you said on the subject?” Regulus wondered. Alexia shifted slightly, uncomfortable. 

“Not much yet. I planned to talk to her soon, but I might’ve been… ah, procrastinating.”

“Do it soon,” Severus warned her. “Or she’ll just get more pissed at you.”

* * *

**December 3rd, 1977**

Pollux stood in front of the five teenagers, looking over their worried faces. He’d been tasked with giving them the news both by Arcturus and Dumbledore, so he’d called the meeting immediately and grabbed a bottle of firewhiskey from his office. 

“Are you going to tell us what’s going on?” Sirius snapped impatiently. “We’re missing class for this, and I actually have to go to this class.”

“Lady Prewett was killed in a raid on Diagon Alley this morning while doing her shopping,” he said plainly, watching them pale. “There is a will reading tomorrow at Gringott’s. Since Sirius is seventeen, we believe it would be best for all of you to return to Potter Manor.”

“Is that all?” Alexia asked tensely. He nodded and she shot out of her chair and left the room, but no one else moved. 

“How did… how exactly did she die?” Remus wondered quietly. 

“She was caught in a fire in the apothecary,” Pollux answered, leaning against his desk. He grabbed the firewhiskey and handed it to his grandson. “Let us know if you need something. You’re all dismissed.”

Slowly, the group of four made their way out of the office and collectively decided to skip the last of their classes. They headed to the Room of Requirement together, most likely to drink, and found it was already occupied by a  _ very _ angry Alexia, who was casting any and every spell she knew. Upon opening the door, James had to duck down to avoid being hit by an acid curse that burned a hole in the wall above him. 

“Sit the fuck down and drink with us,” Sirius snapped, interrupting her. He paid her no more attention and set himself on a chair, opened the bottle, and took a long swig. “Anyone else think we’re absolutely fucking cursed?”

“We’re not cursed,” Remus muttered, pulling the bottle into his own hands. “It’s a war.”

“Same fucking thing.”

* * *

**December 31st, 1977**

Midterms that year were hell. They had to juggle studying, grieving, and staying safe. It was getting increasingly harder for everyone, even just in Hogwarts alone. Many students had been attacked, and one had even been killed two days before break. On the train, Alice had given them the news that her parents were pulling her from Hogwarts as well, afraid she’d be the next killed. 

That year, there was a New Year’s Ball - this time held in Black Manor. As usual, everyone was invited. Despite the high tensions and danger, the turnout was the same. The five staying at Potter Manor showed up together and were promptly separated. 

While her friends went off to dance with each other or other people, Alexia found herself hiding toward the back of the room, watching people talk or drink or dance. The ball was especially painful for so many reasons. It was so different from the year before. The year before, it had been held by her parents in her home, and her dates had been Fabian and Gideon, who had checked on her numerous times over the night. 

But that year, it was different.

Despite having been to Black Manor before, she was in a place much less familiar and much less safe. The ball was hosted by a man who, while she trusted him, his family was dangerous. Beyond that, she had no date. Regulus was busy with Voldemort, and she had no wish to go with anyone else. Her friends were dead, and it left her alone. 

Everything felt so deeply wrong. If she’d known the year before how many people would die, how different it would be… she wasn’t sure what she would’ve done, but she’d have done something. Perhaps she wouldn’t have forgotten about the death of her friends, or she would’ve kept her parents back that day from St. Mungo’s. Maybe she would’ve told Lady Prewett to stay home. 

Or maybe everything would be the same. 

She thought to when she would leave and what the world would be like then. She had just under two years, and it felt like an eternity. She had to finish the school year, and then she’d likely find a job and fight until she left. It felt like a long waiting game, and one that she didn’t want to play. 

A hand grabbed her arm and tore her away from the wall. She turned as she was pulled out of the ballroom at an alarming speed and ripped her arm away once they’d walked into an adjacent room. “What the  _ fuck _ -,”

“ _ You must not return home _ .”

Alexia breathed out in relief, but smacked his chest. “ _ Don’t do that! Why are you here? Severus said you had a meeting tonight. _ ”

“ _ Hermione, listen to me _ ,” he snapped at her. He grabbed her by her shoulders and looked at her, much more serious than before. “ _ You issued an invitation at the Wizengamot, and it has been accepted. A large group of us have been sent to Potter Manor to ambush all of you upon your return home. Many of them are already there. You cannot go back. _ ”

Alexia sucked in a sharp breath. “ _ I didn’t invite anyone to do anything, Antonin _ .”

“ _ You did, and we can argue about that at a later time _ ,” he told her seriously. “ _ I must go. _ ”

She grabbed for his hand and gripped it within her own. “ _ Aren’t you going to get in trouble for telling me _ ?”

Antonin stared at her for a long moment. “ _ A night of torture is much preferable to your death, Hermione. _ ”

With that, he slipped out of the room, leaving her to turn in panicked circles, trying to figure out what to do. Being so close to the ballroom, she wasn’t at all surprised when James barged into the room and looked her over. 

“Lex, what is it?” he asked. She  _ looked _ fine, but he could still clearly tell that she was not okay. She looked at him with wide eyes. 

“We have to get home, Jamie,” she told him. “We need to bring the Order and get home. They’re waiting for us.”

“ _ Who _ \- Voldemort?” he asked, his voice softening. While she said the name without fear, he knew there were Death Eaters there that were more than willing to hurt anyone for disrespecting their dark lord. “Lex, is he at home?”

She nodded her head rapidly and raised her hand to cast a patronus. “To Albus and Aberforth Dumbledore and Moody: I’ve received a tip that there are Death Eaters in Potter Manor waiting for us to come home. I think there’s a lot of them. Please meet us there immediately.”

“I’ll get everyone,” James told her, hurrying out of the room. As she waited for him, she reached down and cut off the bottom of her dress and transfigured her heels into something easier to fight in. Her hair was, thankfully, already up, so she left it there under the impressive stasis charms that Marlene had placed. She got a message back from Moody, who claimed to already have six Aurors and Order members hiding in the trees outside of the wards. When her brother came back, it was with Sirius, Lily, Remus, and Marlene.

“Land outside the wards,” she instructed to everyone. “We’ve got help waiting for us there.”

In pairs, they Apparated away. Alexia landed first with James, and she easily spotted the group of people hiding in the treeline, trying to figure out how many people were in the house. 

“Potter,” Moody greeted roughly. “Good. We counted ten arriving already, but there may be more that got here before we did.”

“How the hell are they getting in there?” Hestia Jones questioned. James and Alexia shared a look. 

“We never reset the wards,” James explained slowly. “After our parents died, there was no time, and it’ll take a couple of weeks, so we haven’t had the time over break, either. Anyone that’s been to a Ball in the past would be able to get in now.”

“But we can put up anti-apparition stones,” Alexia spoke up. “I’ve got some in my bag, actually, that I stole from a raid a year ago.”

“Good,” Moody nodded as she pulled the bag out. It had been shrunken and placed in her bra, much to the horror of her brother. She searched through it and handed the stones over to the senior hit wizard, who passed them off to a couple of his aurors. “Set these up around the house.”

While they ran off to do that, Sirius shifted. “So what exactly do they want?”

“I’d like to know how you know about this,” Moody added. Alexia hesitated, but James figured it out simply by her raging emotions.

“Dolohov?” he asked, shocked. She nodded hesitantly. 

“He came by the ball to warn me and said they wanted  _ us _ . He said I, ah, invited them to attack us at the Wizengamot.”

“ _ What _ ?” Sirius asked, his voice rising. Marlene smacked the back of his head, and he quieted slightly before he spoke again. “What the hell, Ash?”

“They were trying to keep me from being heir!” she huffed, crossing her arms. “Umbitch called me a fucking mudblood. I just wanted to leave.”

“So Dolohov gave you your information?” Deadalus Diggle asked for clarification. She nodded firmly. 

“He pulled me out of the ballroom and told me not to come home, told me there were people here, and left. I think he only found out tonight, or he’d have figured out how to tell me earlier."

“Isn’t he the one that’s tried to kill you?” Caradoc Dearborn questioned, lost. She was spared answering when the aurors ran back over, empty handed. 

“Right,” Moody spoke up, looking around. “Potter, you and I first. Your friends can come, but they have to stick to one of us.”

There was, luckily, minimal arguments as everyone prepared to head inside. Everyone was disillusioned as they made their way across the open lawn to the door, which was silenced before it was opened. 

Immediately inside stood three Death Eaters wandering the halls on either side of the staircase. One was walking into the study to the left of the staircase, while the other two were down the hall to the right that led to the kitchen. 

“ _ Stupefy _ !” someone whispered. At the same time, two silent stunners were shot off, and all three hit their marks. The people dropped to the ground with thuds, and the group continued inside. Once they’d gotten to the halls, they separated. Moody, Alexia, Lily, and Benjy Fenwick went upstairs, while everyone else stayed to clear out the main floor and the basement. 

The second floor held only one Death Eater, who they managed to catch by surprise as well, and he was dropped to the ground and bound. They continued up to the third floor and while Moody stayed there, Alexia went to the fourth and found three of them there. Lily and Fenwick went to the fifth and final floor, where there were six of them.

That was when the stealthy fighting ended. 

Lily engaged someone almost immediately, and Fenwick did his best to keep people off of her. Still, Lily was an incredible fighter, and she definitely held her own against the Death Eater. It took her five minutes before she managed to hit him with a curse and he fell to the ground. She moved on, and so did Fenwick. Unfortunately, she was much too busy when he got to the last free Death Eater, and that one shot off an unexpected and very blue curse. While Lily didn’t know what the curse was, it did seem to pull most, if not all of Fenwick’s blood out of his body. He was dead by the time she stunned the person she was fighting and got over to him. 

In the basement, Sirius, James, and Marlene had somehow gathered together. They fought two Death Eaters together, working well to protect one another while also attempting to down the people. Their duel took them a bit longer, and it was nearly ten minutes by the time they’d finished and ran back upstairs. 

They got there just in time to find the two aurors on that floor cornered by four Death Eaters. Immediately upon getting up there, James stunned two of them in quick succession. They attempted to help fight the last two, but two others sped down the stairs and straight out of the house. The distraction allowed the final two to run after them. 

On the third floor, Alexia lowered her wand at the same time as the remaining Death Eater. He hadn’t thrown a single curse at her, but rather had blocked curses from hitting her when she hadn’t seen them. “ _ You should leave _ .”

“ _ You should listen to me _ ,” he replied, very clearly frustrated with her. “ _ You could die, Dorogaya. Your foolish impulsiveness will cost you _ .”

“ _ You really need to leave before someone comes to arrest you _ ,” she insisted, glancing at the door. “ _ But the next time I see you, I have a mark to give you. It will ensure your freedom when all of this is over in the future. _ ”

With a sharp nod, Antonin hurried away. By the time he got back to Malfoy Manor, it seemed the dark lord had been informed of what had happened, because he was waiting for him and certainly furious. Antonin kneeled and bowed his head. “My lord.”

“ _ Crucio _ !” Voldemort yelled. Antonin took the torture willingly. By the time the man let up on the curse, everyone that had gone to Potter Manor that was not arrested had returned and was in the room, along with a number of the inner circle, including Lucius and Regulus. “Explain.”

“I apologize for betraying you, my lord, but I was unable to allow her to die,” Antonin said slowly. He kept his head down respectfully, aware of the man’s temper. 

“ _ Why _ ?” Voldemort asked sharply. 

“Because,” he began slowly, finally looking up. “I discovered a soul bond with her.”

There was silence in the room as everyone took in the news, but no one dared to speak. 

“You have a soul bond with Alexia Potter?” Voldemort asked, his voice low. Antonin nodded once. Voldemort’s eyes drifted over to Regulus, who was frozen in spot. “I was unaware you were no longer seeing her, Regulus.”

“We’re still together,” he managed to answer. 

“And were you aware of their bond?”

Regulus’s head jerked to the side. “No, I was not, my lord.”

Voldemort seemed slightly amused as he looked at Regulus, but when he looked back to Antonin, the amusement had shifted back to fury. “Tell me, how many were arrested?”

Antonin glanced around the room to count. “Fourteen, my lord.”

At the number, Voldemort’s fury raged brighter. “ _ Crucio _ !” He held the spell for a while before he dropped it again, a bit calmer. “Bellatrix,” he called. The woman stepped forward with an excited smile. “I would like you to torture him for fourteen hours in total over the next week.”

“Yes, my lord,” Bellatrix agreed. And then she raised her wand and it began.

* * *


	42. Eager Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucius meets with Sirius and Sirius Finally Gets It. RIP Happiness lmao. Trauma In Hogsmede.

**Chapter Forty-Two**

_ Jealousy, turning saints into the sea _

_ Swimming through sick lullabies _

_ Choking on your alibis _

**January 1st, 1978**

The arrests from the night before had led to another two raids on hideouts for Death Eaters with warrants out for them. It also led to other raids being prevented, and an entire family being placed in protective custody before they could be killed. Nine of the fourteen Death Eaters were sent to Azkaban. Five of them were released. Overall, it was a major win for the light as it was the largest batch of arrests and information they’d gotten thus far. 

Potter Manor had been slightly damaged, both by the duels and by the Death Eaters looking through their things. There were some things missing, but as they’d not had the time to return their things to the home, nothing too valuable had been stolen. 

It was the very next day that there was a chime at the floo and Alexia had gone to see who it was. They were in the process of locking up everything they possibly could until summer, when they planned to update the wards. While she expected the curse breaker they hired, she was surprised to find her boyfriend dusting his robes off. 

“Regulus,” she greeted, blinking a few times. He looked up at her with a frown, and her gut churned anxiously. “What is it?”

“You lied to me.”

Immediately, she tensed. “What are you talking about?”

Regulus waved for her to sit, so she did. He stood in front of her and crossed his arms over his chest. “You have a soul bond with Dolohov.” Something in her face must’ve given away the fact that she was aware of it, because he looked extremely disappointed. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Alexia ran her fingers through her hair. “It’s just… so much. There’s so much going on, and I love you, and I kind of wanted to pretend it doesn’t exist.”

“It’s one thing not to tell me he kissed you, but not to tell me it sparked a soul bond?” he shook his head at her. “I can’t do it, Lexi. You’re entitled to however you want to deal with these things, but this is something you should’ve told me. I knew we didn’t have a bond, but I hoped you wouldn’t find one with someone else.”

“I know,” she said softly. How he’d found out about it, she wasn’t sure, but clearly whoever had told him hadn’t told him  _ when _ the bond had actually been sparked. She couldn’t help but feel grateful for that fact. “I know. I’m sorry, Reg. I didn’t mean to- I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”

Regulus shifted slightly. “I love you, Alexia.”

“I love you, too.”

“But I can’t do this,” he continued, much to her horror. “I can be your friend, I can stay by your side, but I can’t handle the fact that you didn’t tell me about this bond.”

Pain gripped her heart. She’d gotten him back, and already she was losing him again. Some part of her reminded her that it was  _ her _ fault and that she was still hiding things from him. Truthfully, she knew it was more than fair for him to leave her. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’ll still be your friend,” he assured her softly. “But we can’t do this.”

“That’s… more than fair,” she managed. 

Regulus looked at her for a long moment and wished that there was another option that felt right, but he knew there wasn’t. He considered kissing her, but decided against it and stepped back toward the floo. “I’ll see you at school, Lexi.”

“Be safe,” she whispered. She watched him leave and only once he’d left did she squeeze her eyes shut tightly. 

* * *

Lucius was completely aware of the reason Regulus had left Malfoy Manor, as well as the reason he’d skipped the afternoon’s meeting. Even the Dark Lord seemed to be somewhat understanding behind his amusement.

But Lucius had his own issue with the situation of the night prior. He had more information on the situation than Regulus did, and that information meant that he knew what Alexia and Dolohov had done. He even had a clue  _ when _ they’d done it, and truthfully, it was probably the angriest he’d ever been with her. 

He didn’t so much care that she had sex with Dolohov, even if it was at his  _ wedding _ . No, he cared that she’d begun something that she didn’t know how to end. He cared that she’d asked for his help on a problem and then had made it infinitely more difficult to solve by sparking the bond. The only comfort he held was that she had to have been willing for the bond to exist at all, but it didn’t help his concerns for the future, and it didn’t help his concerns for her current life. 

He didn’t know what she’d told Regulus, but he had absolutely no doubt in his mind that they’d broken up. Aside from that, it was impossible for her to retain romantic feelings for Lucius himself, which meant that the only person left would’ve been Dolohov. 

Lucius shook himself. That wasn’t right. She did have a bond with Sirius, it was just a matter of her having  _ feelings _ for him. She’d resisted it ever since it had happened, and had shown absolutely no interest in him regardless of Sirius’s feelings for her. 

It was that train of thought that led to Lucius writing to Sirius and then, two hours later, meeting him at a pub in London. The pub itself was dirty and quiet, and Lucius arrived ten minutes early to set up a few privacy wards. By the time Sirius sat down, no one would be able to overhear them. 

“Make this quick,” Sirius requested somewhat roughly. “I have more packing to do, and if I don’t finish tonight, I’ll have three annoyed woman nagging me in the morning.”

“Of course,” Lucius nodded. “I’ll get right to it, then. I would like you to attempt to date Alexia again.”

“ _ Excuse me _ ?” Sirius asked. He blinked at Lucius, almost wondering if he’d gotten drunk and forgotten. 

“I believe it is important.”

“She’s dating my brother, Malfoy,” Sirius made a face at him. Lucius raised an eyebrow.

“I happen to know they broke up this morning.”

Sirius furrowed his brow. “I haven’t seen her all day… why the hell would they break up again?”

“Alexia seems to have forged a bond with Dolohov.”

Sirius shook his head immediately. “That’s not possible.  _ We  _ have a bond. The only way she could do that would be if she…” he trailed off, horror filling him. “ _ They fucked _ ?”

Lucius scowled at his language. “It seems so. Dolohov informed the Dark Lord that it was the reason he could not let her die. Regulus was unaware of the bond.”

“But when the hell would she have-,” Sirius cut off and took on a disgusted look. “It doesn’t take an hour and a half to sew a dress, does it?”

“I can’t imagine it does.”

“Oh, fucking-,” he groaned and rubbed his face in stress. “This is shit, but I can’t do anything about it.”

“You are in the best position to do so. Fulfilling your bond would eliminate theirs.”

“Yeah, I get that, but I can’t,” Sirius insisted. “I’m with Marlene, Malfoy. I love Lexi, but I’m not- I can’t do it. I don’t really feel that way for her anymore, and she doesn’t and will never feel like that for me.”

“Black, if it isn’t you, it  _ will _ be Dolohov,” Lucius said, his voice dark. “The things he will do in the future- she may trust and care for him now, but I believe he will turn into the person she used to fear in the time that she is gone.”

“Look, I get that, but I can’t help,” Sirius said, crossing his arms over his chest. “She’s a big girl, Malfoy. She can handle herself, and she’s got us to help her if it turns to shit.”

“Help her  _ now _ .”

“No!” he repeated, raising his voice this time. “If you’re so fucking worried, bloody  _ talk _ to her about it! I can’t and won’t try to get in a relationship with her just because you’re scared of the guy she fucked. I get it, you care for her, you love her, but  _ fuck _ , she is an adult and she can protect herself, and I’m honestly starting to think she’s  _ right _ about him so just  _ chill _ .”

Lucius’s lips thinned and he leaned back in his seat. “Well, I suppose we have nothing more to discuss.”

Sirius, more than done with the conversation, got out of his seat and put his coat back on. He began to walk away, but just as he was halfway to the door, he turned around. “You know, if you trust her, you might find she’s a lot more willing to talk to you when shit happens. You and James and Reg- you gotta fucking relax about this, because the only thing you’re doing by trying to manipulate her life is push her away from you, which doesn’t keep her anymore safe than she is now.”

* * *

**January 19th, 1978**

That week, Pollux was subbing for the DADA professor, Emilie Bowers, who had gotten hit with a shrinkage spell from Transfiguration that was meant for inanimate objects. It had sent her to St. Mungo’s to be sorted out, which seemed to be particularly difficult. As she’d not left any lesson plans, he’d resorted to having them duel.

Alexia was not fond of that idea, if she were being honest, and she also was not fond of being picked out in that class yet again and being placed in charge of the duels. It felt a great deal like the awful day two years prior when Lily had found out Severus was a Death Eater. 

She shot up a shield behind Emmaline, who had ducked to avoid a curse that she couldn’t block. Instead of absorbing the curse, the curse twisted to the side and slammed into Emmaline’s chest, cutting her open. Alexia used a spell to slow her fall, and by the time she hit the ground, Alexia was already over there and had pulled out her daggers for the precision work the dark curse required to heal it. 

The spell, which she easily recognized as Sectumsempra, had hit Emmaline’s chest at a curve and ended at the bottom of her ribs. It was extremely difficult to heal, having never used the counter curse before, but after a long minute, she managed to do it. She passed off her dittany to Lily, who had fallen to her knees next to her, and shot to her feet.

Peter stood stock still, staring at the scene. He looked afraid, but not for Emmaline - no, he looked afraid for  _ himself. _ That fact alone sent Alexia’s temper skyrocketing, and she stalked over to him. She backed him into a wall and held her dagger to his throat, a very familiar position. “Ash, I didn’t mean to-,”

“I warned you!” she snapped loudly. “I fucking told you, Pettigrew, as  _ soon _ as you hurt my friends-,”

“But it was an accident!” 

“I don’t care!” she shouted, her hair sparking. “Next time, she might die! You are reckless, thoughtless, and an overall shitty person and I am  _ shocked _ that you’ve made it this far!”

“Lex, it wasn’t on purpose-,”

“Do you want to tell them, or shall I?” she snarled at Peter, whose eyes widened dramatically. James stopped to look between them. 

“Tell us  _ what _ ?”

“Yes, Peter, tell them what?” she raised an eyebrow. Despite all of her logical mind telling her to  _ stop _ and that they  _ couldn’t _ know, she kept going. He’d fucked up  _ badly _ , and it was an unsettling and aggressive reminder of what he would one day do. Without looking away from Peter, she raised her voice. “You wanna know why he’s been disappearing, James? What he’s been doing? His dad isn’t sick.”

“What’re you talking about?” Sirius questioned her. “What the fuck does this have to do with Emmaline?”

“Why don’t you tell them where you got that curse,” she suggested. She poked the dagger harder against him, and he let out a small whimper. 

“Ash-,”

“Don’t call me that!” she yelled. “You’re no friend of mine.  _ Tell them _ .”

“Potter,” a voice snapped from the door. Alexia shifted. 

“Pollux, you should take Emmaline to the infirmary,” she called, hoping to get rid of him.

“Lily took her,” James told her nervously. “Lexi, what’s this about? What are you talking about?”

“You wanna know what he’s been doing?” she asked, glancing at her brother. “He’s a fucking-,”

“Potter!” Pollux shouted over her. Finally, she looked to him to find him standing behind her with his wand at her back. “Step back and shut up.”

“Pollux, he’s-,”

“You can either deal with  _ me _ , or you can deal with Arcturus. Say another word and I will stun you.”

The threat dug into her logical mind and she cursed loudly in every language she knew.  _ Very _ reluctantly, she stepped back and lowered her wand, though she turned her glare back to Peter. “I’m done with you. You’re responsible for every mistake you make, and all of the pain you cause. I hope that when this is all over, you realize it is completely your fault. All of it.”

“Let’s go,” Pollux said. He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her out of the room, leaving behind a very confused group of Gryffindors and many Slytherins who realized that Alexia  _ knew _ one of her friends was a Death Eater. Pollux took her down the hall to his actual classroom, which was empty. Once they were there, she ripped her arm away from him.

“He could have killed her!” she shouted at her uncle, her hair sparking wildly. “And he gets to just sit there and… be our  _ friend _ ? It’s disgusting, Pollux! You know what he’s going to do, right?”

“It doesn’t matter  _ what _ he’s going to do, because he hasn’t done it yet,” he reminded her, not feeling sympathetic in the least. “And you  _ cannot _ tell your friends what he is! You want to fuck up time? Do it. See how that goes.”

Alexia scowled deeply, but she quieted. Despite that, her hair continued to spark and she resisted the feelings of accidental magic inside of her. “Can I go check on Emmaline now, or are you going to continue yelling at me?”

“Detention tonight for shoving a knife at him, but otherwise, you’re free to go.”

* * *

By the time James and Sirius found Alexia late that night, she’d had her detention and had been given another very thorough lecture. Beyond that, Pollux forced her to take an oath not to tell anyone that Peter was a Death Eater, so she just felt stuck and angry. She was in the Room of Requirement, fighting the magical dummies that could fight back. She’d already destroyed three of them, and had been hit by a small gouging hex on her shoulder in her furious and reckless casting. 

“Lex?” James called. He knocked on the door as he closed it behind him, but she ignored them until, two minutes later, she had destroyed that dummy as well. Finally, she turned around and looked at them. She was sweating, her hair was sparking, and she wore a tank top and work out shorts that had been torn a bit with various curses that had hit her and she’d healed up. 

“How long have you been in here?” Sirius wondered. She walked past him to grab the water bottle sitting on the bench and took a long drink from it. 

“A few hours,” she replied quietly. “And I’m busy.”

“Hurting yourself, yeah,” James agreed. He grabbed her arm to keep her from walking away and raised his wand to heal her, even as she tried to escape his grasp. “You need to talk to us, Lexi.”

“Truthfully, James, I would if I could,” she answered. She finally tore her arm away from him when he was finished and looked between them. “But I can’t, so can I please get back to what I was doing?”

“No,” Sirius said firmly. “We need to know what the fuck happened earlier.”

“And I already told you that I can’t tell you, so questioning me is pointless.”

James frowned at her. “You seemed pretty eager to tell us in class, Lex. Obviously, you can.”

“Actually, I can’t,” she glared. “Drop it. The entire situation was a mistake.”

“Does this have to do with Grandfather’s threat?” Sirius wondered. He stared at her as if he suddenly understood. “Shit, Ash, what’d he do to you?”

“It doesn’t really matter.”

“Yes, it does,” he snapped at her, surprising all of them. “I told you two years ago, he isn’t a steady person. He lost his fucking mind years ago. If he hurt you-,”

“He didn’t hurt me!” Alexia let out a sharp breath and turned around to glare at the dummies. “Just leave it alone, Sirius.”

“I’ll leave it alone as soon as you tell us what the fuck you were talking about. I mean, we all knew there’s something going on with Peter, but if you’re suggesting it’s more than we thought-,”

“Is he a Death Eater?” 

Alexia’s gaze turned to James, who was staring at her intently. She felt magic grip at her painfully and winced at the tight squeeze on her core. As much as she wanted to confirm it, she knew she could potentially kill herself by doing so. “Do you really think I wouldn’t have told you immediately upon finding out if he was one?”

James breathed out a sigh of relief. “I thought so, it’s just the way you were talking… it worried me. But why can’t you tell us what it was?” 

“I took an oath,” she admitted finally. “Pollux held me at fucking wandpoint until I took an oath.”

Sirius’s eyes flashed furiously. “Are you fucking kidding me? That’s dangerous, Ash!”

“Apparently, it was Arcturus’s suggestion,” she scowled. She threw another curse at a dummy when the anger rose up once more. “Logically, I agree with them. What I was going to tell you was one of those secrets that I can’t share yet. They were looking out for me. But…  _ fuck _ , it’s not  _ fair _ !” 

“He forced you to take an oath,” James blinked at her, horrified. “Lex, that’s  _ illegal _ . That shit could get you killed!” 

“Sue him, then,” she threw her hands up. “Seriously, Jamie, I don’t give a fuck. I’m done. I’m done with Peter, I’m fucking sick of Pollux, I’m done with all of this bullshit I’ve been dealing with for the past  _ seven years _ \- I just want to be done with it already. I’m- it’s too much. It’s just too much.”

James grabbed her, though this time he pulled her into a tight hug, which she returned. She buried her face in his neck and was surprised to find herself beginning to cry. It felt well deserved, truly. So much had happened since she’d arrived in 1971, and it felt like an eternity before it would be truly over with. Even when it  _ did _ end, there was so much more to do. There would be people to talk to, people to grieve. 

As much as she loved the people she was with, in that moment she found herself wishing more than ever that she’d never been sent to the past. 

“Lex?” James breathed. While he couldn’t put words to what he knew she was feeling, he did  _ understand _ it. “Do you really?” 

She sniffled a little. “I can’t explain it, Jamie. All of the shit I have to keep from you. There are things that I want to tell you that-  _ fuck _ ,” she cursed when the pain on her core tightened again. “Fuck. I can’t. It just- I can’t tell you and I hate it. I know what’ll happen and when and why and I can’t do anything about it.”

“Ash,” Sirius spoke up nervously. “Ash, I know you’re not good, but maybe you should stop talking.”

“That’s what everyone is telling me,” she muttered. She closed her eyes and decided she didn’t want to ever leave the hug she was in, because it felt a bit like as soon as she let go, he’d be gone. “But I’ve lost so many fucking people. I just don’t get how I’m supposed to keep doing this.”

“What else can you do?” James asked her gently. “You have to keep going, but you can start talking to me again. I know I’ve been…  _ tense _ , but I think I’m adjusting. It was hard, you know, to see the war because you’ve told us about war before and… now we’re here, too. I shouldn’t have ignored you because of it.”

“Jamie, there’s going to be a really horrible day in your life when you know that so much of this is my fault,” she told him quietly. She was treading a very fine line, and she was very aware of how dangerous it was to tell him anything at all. “And I understand. I just hope that when that day comes… you can somehow find it in your heart to not regret my being in your life. As much as it hurts to do all of this, be here, I don’t think I’d trade it for anything.”

James backed up and grabbed her face in his hands. Their eyes met, and he brushed away some of her tears that fell onto his thumb. “Alexia, listen to me. Out of everyone in my life, I would keep you if I had to choose one person to keep. I love Sirius and Lily and Remus and Peter, but  _ you’re _ my twin. You’re my sister. I know you’d never want anything bad to happen to me. I will never, ever regret meeting you, okay? The two of us forever, remember? Can’t get rid of me.”

Alexia sniffled slightly. “I wish I could tell you.”

“I know,” he assured her. “But you can’t, for whatever reason, and that’s okay.”

“I love you, Jamie.”

He smiled at her. “Hey, I love you too. Why don’t you stay in our dorm tonight?”

“Not with Peter,” she said immediately. “I can’t say it, maybe, but I meant it when I said I’m done with him. He’s a different person than the one we met when we were eleven, Jamie. I won’t be around him anymore unless absolutely necessary.”

“In here, then,” he suggested. He did his best to put her words aside for examination later, because he just had too many questions about it that she apparently couldn’t answer. At his suggestion, she nodded. 

“I’m gonna let you guys stay,” Sirius told them with a small smile. “I’ll let everyone know you’re good.”

They didn’t bother to say goodbye as he left. Instead, they changed the room to something more comfortable, and the pair sat together and read, did their homework, and even planned a prank together for most of the night. It was nearly four in the morning by the time they fell asleep, and both of them felt much better when they did.

* * *

**February 22nd, 1978**

While Peter’s attack on Emmaline had been an accident, there were other attacks in the castle that were  _ definitely _ not accidents. A Hufflepuff third year was thrown down the bottom half of a staircase, and he’d broken his arm and gotten a bad concussion. A first year girl in Ravenclaw had been cursed in the halls, and she’d been sent to St. Mungo’s for help that Madame Pomfrey couldn’t give her. 

The seventh year Gryffindors were left alone after that day in DADA for the most part. That was, they were left alone until a Slytherin named Christopher Bolden made an unfortunate comment about Lily at the exact wrong time to his friends. 

“Bets on which House that mudblood slut Evans will worm her way into? There’s no way she’s only sleeping with Potter. I’d bet she’s fucking Slughorn, too.”

Despite the fact that he was walking alone and this Slytherin was with two of his friends, Sirius lost his temper immediately. He managed to curse the first one just fine, but then it was two on one, and he was forced to defend himself. 

Defending himself wasn’t exactly his strong suit, either. 

Just as he sent a  _ Muta _ curse at the black-haired one, he was hit with  _ Turbignis _ , and a large firestorm exploded over him. The sheer force of it sent him flying back into a trophy case, which broke upon impact. His head slammed into the wood of it, and he passed out immediately. 

* * *

Sirius was released from the infirmary that evening, and he was escorted back to his dorm by James, who had come immediately upon hearing of the incident. When they got to the dorm, Sirius slammed himself down onto his bed angrily. 

“So what the fuck happened, Pads?” James asked, looking through Remus’s trunk for some chocolate. When he found a cauldron cake, he tossed it to the moody wizard. “She said you’re lucky to have your damn eyebrows. I heard Filch complaining about scorch marks on the ceiling.”

“It was nothing,” he muttered, digging into the sweet immediately. For some reason, Remus’s sweets always tasted better than their own. James claimed it was just because they’d stolen it, but he insisted their friend charmed it to taste better. “Just some fucking Slytherins being their nasty selves.”

“Sure, but you don’t get pissed like that for nothing,” James insisted. “Seriously, I need to know how it happened. McGonagall wants me to suspend you for two games for it.”

Sirius scowled. “I don’t think you wanna know, Prongs.”

“Actually, I really do.”

“They were just saying nasty shit about Lily,” he admitted finally. James tensed just as Sirius guessed he would. “It pissed me off, so I tried to curse them, but there were more of them.”

“What’d they say? Did they- shit, did they threaten her?” 

Sirius shook his head. “Not really, just called her shitty names and- just gross things.”

James breathed out in relief. “Why’d you curse them for that?”

“I don’t know,” Sirius muttered, dropping the cauldron cake on his bedside table. “It pissed me off. She’s like… a sister, I guess. She’s family and I love her, and they were being so…” he shook his head. 

“Well,” James said after a long minute of silence. “I’ll make sure you’re not suspended, but there’s no way in hell we’re telling Lily about this.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “I’ll tell her about it the minute I want to get an hour long lecture and a million detentions.”

* * *

**March 4th, 1978**

The day it happened was one of high tensions for just about everyone. 

There was an emergency Order meeting that seemed to coincide with a bunch of missing Slytherins and Ravenclaws, which Alexia assumed meant there was some huge raid going down that they’d only just gotten word about. She discovered she was right when she reached Dumbledore’s office just as the meeting began and stood at the back. 

“-tip thirty minutes ago that there will be three raids today. One will be on Hogsmeade, one on muggle London, and one on Diagon Alley. There are rumors that the target is Ollivander, the wand maker. We’ve sent ahead a guard, and they’re removing him and will be taking him to a home that Mister Diggle offered.”

“How are we splitting up?” someone near the front asked. 

“There’s thirty of us here now,” Moody called from where he stood next to Dumbledore. “Fifteen to Diagon Alley, eight to muggle London, and seven to Hogsmeade.”

“Will that be enough?” Alexia wondered, gaining their attention. A few people shifted so she could be seen.

“Our biggest concern is Ollivander,” Moody told her in irritation. “Theirs will be, too.”

“But if it’s bad information,” she pushed. “How many Death Eaters are you expecting to be involved in this?”

“Ten, fifteen at most.”

Alexia rolled her eyes. “I’ve seen that many Slytherin students disappear from classes or lunch at  _ least _ today. They wouldn’t be trusted to do something this big on their own, so there have to be higher ups to watch or guide them. Ollivander is a big person to grab.”

“He’s a wandmaker,” Mundungus told her. The look he gave her suggested he thought she was an idiot, and she narrowed her eyes. 

“ _ You _ have no idea what he wants with him. The information he’s searching for is dangerous, and I know for a fact that Ollivander does have it. I agree that protecting Ollivander is important, I just wonder if we’re stretching ourselves too thin.”

“If you’ve got another idea, we’re all ears,” Moody grunted. “And if you’d care to share this information that’s apparently so important, we’d be very interested in that, as well."

“I’ll tell Dumbledore and no one else,” she said. She hated the idea of telling him about the deathly hollows, but she had no other option if Voldemort was already going after it. “But I think we need to prepare for Gregorovitch to be in danger, as well.”

“I assume we should look after Empaline, too?” Doge rolled his eyes. She shook her head. 

“No, I don’t think so,” she disagreed. “She’s French, and she wouldn’t have run into what Voldemort’s looking for.”

“Dumbledore, remind me why the hell we let a kid in here?” Sturgis Podmore asked, deeply irritated. 

“Because that kid is connected in ways that we aren’t,” Aberforth defended for his brother. “How many Death Eaters have  _ you _ dated?”

Alexia grimaced at the reminder of her recent breakup. “If we’re done with my dating life, can we focus? Are you  _ sure _ we don’t have anymore backup?”

“This is it, Potter,” Moody confirmed. “If you can pull Order members out of your ass, feel free.”

She glanced at the door hesitantly. She  _ did _ have an idea, but the question was, was she willing to do it? It wasn’t a question of if they would come with, because she knew they would. It was more a question of if she was willing to defy her parents and the order they'd set the day they died. “Where are you least concerned about?”

“Hogsmeade.”

“I’ll get some backup and stay down there with them. You guys go ahead and send five to us instead of seven.”

* * *

The portrait hole slammed against the stone wall and Alexia ran in as she tore off her outer robes and her sweater. In the common room was, luckily, everyone she was looking for. She did get stares from others, but she wasn’t even worried about keeping her status as an Order member a secret anymore. 

“Ash, what is it?” Sirius asked, getting to his feet. 

“Guys, we gotta go,” she told them. James, Lily, and Marlene got up as well. “There’s a huge raid going down and I promised I’d bring backup.”

“But Mum and Dad said-,”

“Yeah, but we’re painfully low on people,” she told them, stressed. “Seriously, I know, but I need your help. I can’t do this one alone.”

“Let’s go,” Mary said, gaining Alexia’s attention. “Don’t look at me like that, Potter. There’s no way in hell I’m not going to help.”

“I’m coming,” Frank agreed. 

“I’ll call Dorcas,” Emmaline told them. Alexia breathed out in relief. 

“Okay. I didn’t tell them you’re students, so you guys  _ have _ to listen to me. If I tell you to go, you  _ go _ . You’re putting your lives on the line. Any one of us could die.”

“We know, Lexi,” Mary assured her gently. “But it’s us or the people they’re trying to kill. I don’t see much of a choice.”

“I don’t get it,” someone spoke up from a chair in front of the fire. It was a third year boy, who was looking at the seventh years with wide eyes. “You’re just students. You can’t fight.”

“ _ You _ can’t fight, kid,” Sirius corrected. “We gotta help.”

“I can help!” 

James moved over and kneeled down. “It’s Brian, right?” at his nod, he smiled. “I’ve got a job for you, okay? A favor for the head boy, yeah? I need you to go find all of your friends and bring them here. Stay safe. If we’re not back in a couple of hours, go and tell McGonagall.”

“Jamie, we gotta go,” Alexia said as she tapped her foot nervously. “I wanna get down there before they get there.”

“I can do that,” Brian assured them with a firm nod. James winked at him and then got to his feet and followed his sister and friends out of the portrait hole. 

The group took the passage way behind the one-eyed-witch to Honeyduke’s. When they came out of it, there was someone grabbing a box of chocolate frogs down there. 

“Frank, let him know what’s going on,” Alexia called as she ran up the stairs. “We gotta evacuate Hogsmeade. Get his help!” 

When they got street level, they separated. It was very reminiscent to the raid on the street in muggle London, except this time it was much easier and they had more help. With the entire wizarding world aware of Voldemort, it wasn’t a shock to hear that they were leading an attack on the only entirely wizarding village. 

Dorcas Apparated in ten minutes after they got there, and she brought her older brother, Marcus, who had apparently been visiting for the week. In total, once the other Order members arrived, there were fifteen of them. 

Even that turned out to not be enough. 

Around forty-five Death Eaters showed up in a five minute period. They Apparated in all at once and separated immediately, though it was clear they were generally heading toward the path to Hogwarts. 

Seeing them moving that way, Alexia did the last thing she wanted to do: she Apparated to the edge of Hogwarts’ wards and began fighting them off. As she put up a large defensive blood shield, Frank Apparated next to her and started throwing curses wildly at the Death Eaters. Soon after that, Lily was there, and then three Order members and an Auror. 

Behind the horde of thirty Death Eaters raging toward Hogwarts was the other fifteen, who were raiding the village. Already, there was a building on fire, and the group was quickly distracted by trying to handle them. Marlene and Emmaline stood back to back fighting, and James had placed himself on top of Madam Puddifoot’s and was taking Death Eaters out from up there. When one tried to curse Remus, he set the Death Eater’s robes on fire, giving his friend time to disarm and restrain him. 

Mary, being as small as she was, wormed her way through the bodies packed together while under disillusionment. She had mastered silent casting, so as she tried to make her way to her friends, she stunned or cursed the dark wizards and witches around her. By the time she got to the front, she had taken down nine of them alone.

“What are they doing?” Frank yelled as he ducked to avoid a curse that instead hit Alexia. She hissed in pain, but replied after a second. 

“Trying to get to the castle!” she called back. “I’ve seen this before. Dumbledore’s out of the castle, so they want to take it. It’s a good plan, but that’s why I thought we’d need more people here.”

“Not that I’m not glad,” Lily said, scooting closer to her. “But why aren’t they cursing at you?”

Alexia glanced up and was surprised to find that she was right. She’d held her large shield in front of everyone and hadn’t even noticed they weren’t aiming for her. Noting that, she decided to ponder it later and moved on. “Keep their eyes off of me! I need to send a Patronus!” 

Lily and the Order member closest to her - a young Kingsley, who was a new Order member - shifted in front of her, and she cast the Patronus. It took her only a moment to send it before she turned back and jumped in again. 

* * *

Minerva rushed out of the hall and closed the doors behind her. She cast the spell she’d never expected to use and locked down the large door. After that, she cast another spell - this one to protect windows and other weak spots of the castle. Once she was done, she turned to the people gathered in front of the steps. All of the staff were staring toward the path to Hogsmeade. They could hear the fighting from there.

“Minerva, what’s happening?” Horace asked nervously. 

“I believe they are coming for us,” she said darkly. “Currently, we have students, Order members, and Aurors attempting to protect us. They are outnumbered. Our number one priority is to protect the students within the castle.”

“My niece,” Pollux spoke up, looking exhausted. “She’s there, isn’t she?”

Minerva nodded once. “I would be shocked if James and Sirius did not join her.”

“Bloody witch refuses to make my job easy,” Pollux complained. Without another word, he turned and sprinted down the path toward Hogsmeade. 

“What will we do?” Filius asked her. 

“We will put up a shield around the castle,” Minerva stated, looking out over them. “And then we will go assist our students.”

* * *

Since no one was trying to hit her, Alexia was free to protect her friends while they fought instead. At the current moment, they were being pushed back closer to the castle. Remus had joined them as well as Marcus, who turned out to be proficient in something that Alexia would describe as purposeful splinching - he would grab a Death Eater and Apparate away with them, but when they landed, only parts of the Death Eater would land with him. In a twisted sort of way, she found it funny. 

Mary had begun yelling at them as she cast, calling them nasty words and insulting Voldemort. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise, really, when seven of them turned to her at once and began fighting. 

It was an unfortunate event, but a wonderful opportunity. When Remus, Lily, and Frank turned to her, Alexia yelled at them to take the Death Eaters out while they were distracted. In turn, she attempted to strengthen the shield in front of Mary. 

Typically, in duels, no one used a Killing Curse. They took an extreme amount of power at the best of times, and while expending so much energy and magic so constantly, a large drain like that was dangerous and could cost one their life. 

But sometimes, people were stupid. 

Sometimes, they were uninformed. 

Sometimes, they were just  _ really angry _ .

The bright green light broke through the dim red of the shield and hit Mary’s shoulder. She didn’t cry out, or scream, or even stumble back. She just fell down and hit the ground. Her face didn’t even change - she looked just as furious and indignant as she had seconds earlier. 

At the sight of her dead friend, Alexia’s fury rose. 

It rose just like it had the day she’d found Fabian and Gideon’s bodies. 

With a pained scream, Fiendfyre burst from her chest. The six people closest to her were immediately roasted. She stumbled forward and caught another Death Eater on fire, and then another. When one tried to send a curse at her, she used a  _ very _ aggressive burst of water to pin him against the wall of a nearby building, where he found himself drowning on the water. All the while, the Fiendfyre raged on, beginning to catch on the ground. 

“ _ Ignis Egredietur _ !”

As abruptly as the fire had begun, it was taken away. Alexia found herself stumbling back as the force of the fire was suddenly taken from her. A pair of arms grabbed onto her just as she felt herself passing out. 

* * *

Pollux lowered her to the ground and watched her wake up. It didn’t take long. When her eyes shot open, she didn’t see him, but instead the battle around them. Without question, without concern for how she was feeling, she was up again, and she continued fighting. 

It took another hour and a half to end the battle. No one managed to get to Hogwarts, but more than Mary had died. Two Aurors, Dorcas’s brother, and three Order members had gone. While some Death Eaters had been badly injured, only the ones that Alexia had scorched or drowned died. 

It was when things calmed down and everyone was making their way together that Alexia finally managed to question what was happening. Silently, she scanned the crowd around her. At first glance, Frank looked incredibly like Neville. Emmaline and Dorcas, she knew. Remus offered her a smile and while something felt off, that was unsurprising. 

But after months on the run, she’d seen Harry’s face perhaps a little too much. She was perhaps a little too familiar with the look he gave her after a battle, and more than that, she was familiar with his eyes. 

As she looked at the man she’d thought was her best friend, she began to realize that something was  _ wrong _ . The way he was looking at her confused her as well, like he knew something was wrong, too. 

“Lex, what-,”

“Mary died,” Lily interrupted, her voice quiet but powerful enough to carry. “She pissed them off, James. She did it again.”

James’s eyes drifted back to Alexia, who was stiff and still staring at him. “And Lexi-,”

“Lit them on fire,” Pollux announced. “Killed the lot of them in seconds. I’d wager she’s not doing great right now.”

* * *

Despite her confusion, Alexia was quickly filled in on what was happening, where she was, when she was, and what battle she’d just fought, and then she was taken to Dumbledore’s office to meet up with the rest of the Order and brief of the separate missions. That time, her friends came with. 

“Miss Potter, if you could explain to us what happened in Hogsmeade-,”

“She can’t,” Remus interrupted Dumbledore. At the stares he recieved, he nodded at her. “She’s having one of her episodes.”

“In that case, is there anyone that would care to take over?” 

“I can, Professor,” James offered nervously. They turned to stare at him, so he took in a deep breath and straightened. “There were a lot of them. More than forty, I’d say. It seemed like they wanted to get to the castle, but some of them stayed back to distract some of us. Lex Apparated in front of the path to the castle and started taking them on, and Frank, Lily, and a few others joined her. We did our best to keep the village safe, but it wasn’t our main concern-,”

“A lot of people live there,” Moody interrupted. 

“And we evacuated them beforehand,” James shot back. “It was just us. No one got to the castle, and Lex killed a bunch of them. We did… have a few deaths.”

“Who?” 

“Marcus Meadows, a few Order members- ah, John Malone, Aarushi Patil, and Arthur Clarke. There were some Aurors, too and… um, Mary Macdonald.”

“Isn’t she a student?” Diggle asked sharply. Dumbledore nodded sadly. 

“She was. I assume she is the cause of the state of Miss Potter?” 

“Kid lost her shit,” Pollux confirmed, standing behind the chair Alexia sat in. “Lit on fire like a fucking demon. Had to put her out with the Fiendfyre counter, and that barely worked.”

“Fiendfyre is extremely dangerous,” Alexia spoke up, unable to keep quiet while they spoke about her. “If I lit on Fiendfyre, I’d be dead.”

“The people around you, sure. Not like this is the first time. Happened after the Prewett twins, then you killed Alphard with it, and now.”

“Grandfather, respectfully, shut the fuck up,” Sirius called with a glare. Alexia stared at him in horror. 

“I killed someone with Fiendfyre?”

“Many people, actually, yes.”

“Oh my god,” she breathed. She felt sick at the mere thought. 

“As for muggle London,” Hestia Jones spoke up, clearing her throat awkwardly. “No one actually showed up. That was bad information, I guess. We stayed until we got the all clear from everyone else, just in case they showed up later.”

Dumbledore nodded gratefully. “Ollivander was moved without problem, and we defended his shop well. We’re unaware of what they wanted from him, but we plan to keep a guard on him until we’re sure that he is safe.”

“I’m sorry, did you say Ollivander?” Alexia questioned. She knew the year, she knew she was currently in the first war, but she hadn’t been aware that Malfoy Manor had been Voldemort’s  _ second _ attempt at getting information out of the old wandmaker. 

“Yes, in fact, I did. You told us earlier you knew what he’s searching for. Do you remember?”

Alexia nodded slowly, eyeing everyone around her. “Sir… I’ll tell you, but you may think I’ve lost it.”

“I assure you, I won’t.”

“You-Know-Who is looking for the Deathly Hollows. He believes Ollivander knows where the wand is.”

There was a beat of silence before James leaned over to Pollux. “Did she hit her head?”

“I’m serious,” she snapped, quieting him immediately. 

“No, kitten,  _ I’m _ -,”

“Sirius Black, don’t you dare,” she huffed, glaring at him. “Regardless of the truth of the existence of the Deathly Hollows, Riddle believes they’re real, and that poses a threat to- to wandmakers, and anyone that studies the lore, like Xenopilius Lovegood. There may not be a legendary, undefeatable wand, but there may be some sort of powerful wand that  _ could _ enhance Riddle’s powers. I don’t care what you people think of the Deathly Hollows, you’d all be fools to disregard this completely.”

“But it’s a story,” Kingsley told her as gently as possible. “Just a story, Alexia.”

She grimaced at the unfamiliar name. “You don’t get it, do you? This is something he’s putting a significant number of his people toward obtaining. That’s dangerous, no matter what. And at this point, I don’t believe he’s insane. I think he must’ve found something that suggests to him that what he’s looking for is real, or he wouldn’t have worked so hard to spread us all over the place and lessen the chance of being stopped.”

“I will look into it,” Dumbledore assured her. “And we can discuss this again at another time. For now, I believe you and your friends should head back to your dorm. I’m sure they can see to your potions and things that you will need.”

Alexia didn’t even have the time to argue, because she was being pulled from her chair and out of the room. With a frown, she let them guide her away, her mind still on the Deathly Hollows. She knew what Voldemort would do for them in the future, but the question was, how desperate was he for them in the past?

* * *


	43. Unify

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> graduation! also, impending pain!

******Chapter Forty-Three**

_ They will not force us _

_ They will stop degrading us _

_ They will not control us _

_ We will be victorious _

**March 4th, 1978**

Alexia was sat on the bed closest to the door, and she found James and Marlene sitting on either side of her. Nearby, Emmaline was embracing Dorcas, who had snuck in, and the couple were crying together. Lily sat with Remus, also crying, and Frank was leaning against the wall, staring at his hands blankly. 

“She’d be happy they’re dead,” Sirius muttered. “She’d be so fucking happy that they got incinerated.”

“I hope hell exists because I don’t want those bastards going to the same place she’s going,” James sighed. He squeezed onto Alexia’s hand as if to comfort her, but she didn’t feel upset at the loss of the girl. She was upset, but she didn’t know Mary. She couldn’t remember being her friend, or apparently loving her so much that she’d erupted into Fiendfyre. 

“Fuck,” Dorcas cursed softly. “Shit, guys. Why’d I leave? I shouldn’t have left. I can’t believe-  _ fuck _ ! How the hell am I supposed to tell my mum I called Marcus and got him killed?”

“You didn’t get him killed,” Emmaline told her gently. “He chose to come with you.”

“Yes, I did, Emma!” Dorcas snapped loudly. “He never would’ve come if I hadn’t asked him to myself. I got my own fucking brother killed! Marcus is dead, Mary is dead, and fucking Alexia doesn’t even remember her own fucking family! How  _ dare _ Dumbledore treat this like a win? Does he even  _ care _ ?”

“No,” Alexia answered her. Dorcas’s gaze shot to the girl, who was staring at her. “No, he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care about any of us. I fight this war not for him, but in spite of him. In spite of the awful things he has- he  _ will _ do, I’ll fight this war. I gave my childhood to this war, and I’ll give my life to it if I have to. I’ll fight for a better future than Dumbledore could give us.”

“Better than Dumbledore,” Dorcas repeated. “Fine. Better than Dumbledore. But no more of us can fucking die, Potter.” 

She quieted at that. She was fully aware that they would. 

Sirius slipped through the door with a bag in his hand and made his way to Alexia. He passed it over, and she took it gratefully, for once familiar with it. She dug around until she found a calming draught and passed it over to Dorcas, who took it without another word. 

“No, Lexi, you’ve got potions for this in there,” he explained. “But you’ve gotta take a calming draught with it, too, or you might have another episode.”

“Well what does it look like?” she asked, frustrated. He paused. 

“I dunno. Reg might know, or Malfoy.”

“Well seeing as one of them doesn’t go to school anymore, call your fucking brother,” Marlene muttered. Sirius hurried to do as she said, slightly afraid of his girlfriend. He also went down five minutes later to let the Slytherin boy in, and took him back to the very full dorm. 

“Lexi?” Regulus asked, spotting her first. She was still slightly injured, but he recognized just from the confused look he gave her what was happening. “Ah. How long?”

“Maybe an hour,” James offered. “But Mary just died. That’s what triggered it, according to Pollux.”

“She doesn’t know what the potion looks like,” Sirius explained. Regulus stepped over to her and reached for the bag, which she pulled closer to her chest. 

“Hermione, I’m going to help you.”

“Sirius said-,”

“Whatever he said about me, he’s wrong and he’s an arse,” Regulus told her firmly. She looked between the brothers nervously, but she handed the bag over. “Are you hurt badly?”

“I don’t think so. I’m not even sure how I got these.”

Regulus paused in his movements and looked to his brother. “You didn’t think to check and make sure she isn’t dying again?”

“We’ve been fucking busy.”

Regulus pulled out his wand and waved it over her. When he was done, he nodded slowly and offered Alexia a small, tight smile. “You were hit with a dark curse, but I should be able to fix that easily enough. How does your mind feel?”

“It  _ hurts _ .”

“Man, I haven’t seen one of her episodes since Veritaserum or dare,” Marlene commented to her friends. “She seems a lot… calmer, more coherent.”

“They’ve changed over the years,” James offered when Alexia looked confused. “You remember more recent things, but not us, not yet. Alphard was helping you with your episodes when they happened, with mind healing, but… since he died, there’s been no one to help.”

Regulus handed her two potions and tapped the green one. “This one will help with the pain and the suppressive blanket over the memories. The pink one is an extra strength calming draught, and hopefully it’ll be strong enough to keep you from having another episode. If that happens, we’ll have to take you to Croaker.”

“Croaker…” she frowned. “Bertie Croaker? Isn’t he the head of the Department of Mysteries?”

“He is,” he confirmed. “And he’s aware of your entire situation and has offered to help if you need it, which means he could assist with mind healing, if you’re willing.”

“Take the potions, kitten,” Sirius urged. Hesitantly, Alexia drank down the calming draught first, and then she drank down the green potion. Before she even began to fall, James pulled her against him and held her as she passed out. 

“Shit, that’s quick,” Dorcas muttered, much calmer than before. “Is she okay?” 

Alexia let out a loud, pained groan. “Ow.”

“She’s fine,” Regulus shook his head. He held his hand out to her and she took it, pulling herself back up. “I really think you should see Croaker.”

“I’m fine,” she muttered, although she winced in pain. “That was bad. I’ve never remembered something from that battle.”

“Where were you, Lex?” James wondered. She looked at him hesitantly. 

“You know how I was in a battle right before I came here? It had just ended?”

“Yeah, Dad said you were injured.”

She nodded. “That’s the battle I thought I was in. That’s why I didn’t say anything when I woke up. I thought I’d just been injured.”

“I agree with Lucius,” Regulus said, frowning at her. “I believe you should see a trained mind healer.”

“But I can’t-,”

“You’re damaging your mind, and this could get dangerous, Lexi.”

“Please,” she sighed, rubbing her temples. “I’ve had this argument with Lucius more than once. I don’t want to have it with you as well. I have my reasons, they’re valid, and Alphard even agreed with them.”

“I’ve got questions,” Dorcas told her. “You’re really adopted?”

“You’re adopted?” Frank asked in surprise. Looking at the twins, there would’ve been no doubt in anyone’s minds that they were truly blood related. 

“Fucking Nott,” Alexia muttered in annoyance. “Yeah, I’m adopted. I’d  _ love _ to know where he got that information, though.”

“Dolohov,” James suggested immediately. She shot a look at him. 

“He wouldn’t have.”

“But outside of us and him, who knew?” he pressed. “It’s been a couple of years since he figured it out, right? So in that time, he had the chance to tell someone before he decided he gave a shit about you.”

“Something important to note, though, is that Umbitch knew I was a muggleborn,” she argued. “And Antonin didn’t know that. Just you guys, really, so I’ve no clue how they figured it out."

“He knows your name.”

Alexia looked at Regulus, who was frowning down at her. “What?”

“He knows your name, Alexia.”

“Uh…”

“Your  _ real _ name,” he pushed. “Which means that he could’ve gone looking for your family.”

A vague memory of Dolohov claiming to have done just that popped up. “Okay, so he knew I’m muggleborn. I still don’t think he told anyone.”

“The Dark Lord is a master Legilimens. He could’ve invaded his mind.”

That idea sent a shiver down her spine. Dolohov knew far too much about far too many things that could put her and the future in danger. 

“On the topic of Dolohov,” Emmaline said slowly. “Do you think it’s safe to be close to him? I mean, he was probably at one of these raids.”

“Sure, but Regulus was, too,” Alexia shrugged. He hadn’t said anything, but she noticed the way he held himself that suggested he’d injured his right leg. 

“Yeah, and that’s dangerous, too,” Lily agreed. “No offense, Regulus, but this is dangerous, Lexi. I’ve been trying to tell you this for close to a year. Being close to them isn’t okay anymore. Severus became a Death Eater and I dropped him immediately because I can’t stand to be around that, but you’re immersing yourself in that- that darkness even while you fight it. I don’t get it.”

“They’re good people,” Alexia insisted. “Regulus, Lucius, Severus, they’re good people. They don’t want to be in this war anymore than we do.”

“But they  _ are _ ,” Dorcas threw her hands up. “Fucking hell, Potter, my brother just died for this war! Mary died! Where’s your fucking limit?”

“Okay,” James wrapped an arm around his sister. “We’re all stressed. Maybe we should just step back from this and-,”

“No, James,” Lily said firmly. “I get it, she’s your sister, but she’s essentially condoning everything they’re doing! She refuses to cut ties, she knows an excessive amount of dark magic, and she has so many secrets. I wouldn’t be surprised if  _ she _ was a Death Eater."

James stared at his girlfriend in horror. “Do you hear yourself? Do you even know what you’re saying?”

“Yes, I do. One of my best friends already turned out to be one. What’s another?”

Alexia got to her feet and left the room silently. Regulus made his way out after her, most likely glad for the escape. Once they were gone, Frank cursed. 

“This is a mess.”

* * *

**March 19th, 1978**

Things at Hogwarts went back to normal rather quickly after Mary’s death. With the war raging around them, it wasn’t a shock to anyone that a student had died, nor that it was a fiery Gryffindor with a short temper. Dumbledore asked for a moment of silence in honor of her the next morning and then it wasn’t mentioned again. 

As for the group of friends, things were a bit tough. 

While Dorcas had written to apologize to Alexia a week later, Lily had no interest in doing the same. Her anger had not dimmed, and she had argued with Alexia multiple times since the raid. Things came to a head when they were paired up in Pollux’s class for a project. 

“No.”

Pollux turned to look at Lily, who sat with her arms crossed stubbornly. “Excuse me, Evans?”

“No, I won’t work with her.”

“Well seeing as I’ve told you to, I think you will.”

“I can do the project myself.”

“It is a partner project. You must work with her.”

“No.”

“And why not?”

“Because she’s a bloody Death Eater!” 

Alexia tipped her head back in frustration, but she said nothing. She did gain some confused looks from a few actual Death Eaters, who happened to know that she  _ wasn’t _ . James, who sat to her left, glared at his girlfriend. The couple hadn’t spoken once since Lily first accused Alexia of being a Death Eater, and he refused to speak to her again until she apologized to her. 

“Potter,” Pollux nodded sharply at his office. “Evans, inside.”

Lily, not one to disobey a teacher, frowned deeply as she made her way into the office. Alexia pulled her bag over her shoulder and followed inside. The two women sat in silence until, five minutes later, Pollux walked in and closed the door. 

“What is this about?” 

“She thinks that, because I’m friends with Severus and Regulus and Lucius, I’m a Death Eater or in line to be.”

“You’ve shown her your arm?”

“Yes, of course.”

“There’s no logical reason to continue to be friends with them,” Lily said for the millionth time. “They’re doing awful things. They’re killing people and torturing people and- there’s just no reason I can imagine that you could excuse their behavior with.”

“Tell her.”

Alexia’s eyes snapped to her uncle. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me. Tell her.”

“If I can’t tell my own fucking  _ brother _ , why the hell would I tell her while she’s accusing me of being a Death Eater?”

“She needs an explanation, and she cannot go around loudly accusing you of being a Death Eater. You’ll gain even more attention than you already have.”

“I don’t really think that’s very possible, Pollux.”

“He hasn’t approached you yet, has he?” he pushed. “He hasn’t had you attacked or kidnapped. You’re bloody lucky you’ve made it this far, but if she goes around telling everyone you’re a Death Eater, he might look into you more. Notice the inconsistencies, the way you just popped up, the fact that your muggle parents haven’t had any children yet.”

“What are you talking about?” Lily asked. She looked between them suspiciously. 

“Pollux, I mean it, I can’t tell her. I won’t tell her if Jamie can’t know, and he can’t. I don’t even think she’d agree to keep it from him!” 

“I can’t agree to anything if you don’t tell me!” 

Pollux leaned back in his chair, his arms crossed over his chest. Alexia looked between him and her friend as her frustration grew. “But so many people know!” 

“Make her take a bloody Vow, I don’t care.”

“Lexi, what the hell are you guys talking about?” Lily asked. She was tense and a little scared as the two fought and Alexia’s hair began sparking lightly. “What’s going on?”

Alexia’s gaze finally settled on the redheaded girl. “Swear an oath on your magic that you won’t share what I’m about to tell you with anyone.”

“I’m not swearing an oath about something I don’t know yet. I’m not an idiot.”

“Tell her,” Pollux pushed. “If she won’t take an oath, Obliviate her like you Obliviated your brother.”

Alexia scowled, but she grabbed a dagger and held it up. “I, Alexia Potter, swear on my wand and magic that I am from the year 1998 and arrived in 1971 and was taken in by Dorea and Charlus Potter.”

Lily watched as her magic confirmed the vow. “That’s impossible.”

“That’s what I would’ve said,” Alexia agreed, sitting back. “But Severus managed to get his hands on a rare piece of magic and used it to send me back here. The reason I’m friends with him and Regulus is that I know of them or I know them. Severus was my potions professor for six years, and I know for a fact that Regulus will die helping us destroy Voldemort. Without him, we wouldn’t have gotten the information we needed to kill him. Lucius- that’s complicated. It’s mostly about his son.”

“Assuming I believe this,” Lily said slowly, her mind racing. “What about Dolohov?”

Alexia hesitated. “I won’t pretend he’s a good person, Lily. He’s hurt me a lot, both in the seventies and in the future. It’s just… he knows I’m from the future, he knows the things he’ll do and… he cares about me. A lot, actually, and he can’t really hurt me anymore, not while both of us have the sparked bond.”

“Bond,” Lily repeated. “You have a bond with Sirius, Lexi.”

“I also created a bond with Antonin because-,” she winced. “I can’t really tell you. Arcturus made us promise not to mention it, and I think he used some magic to make sure we won’t. The point is, there’s a bond. I will admit that he’s… my bad decision. Lucius, Regulus, and Severus, though- Lils, they’re good people that were forced into a bad place. In the future, I plan to make sure they get out of there and have a chance to do the good they deserve to do. Lucius and I made some plans years ago, and even Antonin and I agreed to work on things with muggles.”

Lily shook her head quietly. “How can you be from the future? Why can’t you tell James? Why haven’t you gone back?”

Alexia blinked a few times. “How? I was born in 1979. The magic Severus used to send me back was extremely rare and hadn’t actually ever been used before. I can’t tell James because I know a very dangerous amount of information about Voldemort, his past, and how to kill him. The people that know now weren’t supposed to find out, and I’m doing my best to limit the number of people that know to limit the risk of a leak. I haven’t gone back yet because Severus told me I’d come to him in 1979 and tell him everything before I leave. Plus… I can’t leave Jamie.”

“He said you… Obliviated James?” 

Alexia grimaced. “That’s a pretty long story, and also pretty unbelievable. I can fill you in on the rest after class, if you want. We can eat dinner in the Room of Requirement and talk.”

“Okay,” Lily agreed softly. She hesitated. “You’re serious about this? You’re actually from the future?” 

“I am. I’m sorry, Lily. I wanted to tell you in first year, but… god, I was fucked up. I’ve been in this war for… about eleven years. It’s exhausting.”

“Wait, so your episodes, when they happen, you think-,”

“That I’m in the future,” she confirmed. “The last one, I thought I was in the final battle in 1998. I assume it’s because we were fighting so close to Hogwarts.”

“Evans, your oath,” Pollux interrupted them. Lily looked between them hesitantly, but she nodded firmly in the end and raised her wand. 

“I, Lily Evans, swear on my wand and magic that I will not tell anyone the things that Alexia has told me in the last ten minutes without her permission.”

“Good,” Pollux nodded. “Now go do your damn project and for the love of Merlin, stop calling her a Death Eater.”

* * *

**April 17th, 1978**

Avoiding Peter had been difficult. While no one really understood what exactly had set Alexia off, they understood that if she was forced to be around Peter for more than five minutes in small groups, she would hex him until he was sent to the infirmary. It was for that reason that they began helping the two stay as far away from one another as possible. 

That day, Alexia had gotten called to an Order meeting in the middle of Transfiguration. The note had gone to McGonagall, who had only told her to get to Dumbledore’s office immediately, and so she’d grabbed her things and hurried out. On her way to the meeting, however, she heard voices coming from a hall she was passing. 

“-this stupid map to make sure no one’s coming,” someone said. “Pettigrew didn’t tell me how to fucking use it, though.”

“Everyone’s in class,” someone else said, clearly irritated. “Come on, it’ll be fine. We’re going to be late.”

Alexia backed into a small alcove behind her to keep out of sight. As the two seventh year Slytherins passed her, she saw the Marauder’s Map tucked in one of their pockets and tensed. They were gone moments later, and as she made her way down the hall toward the office, she began planning. 

It was later that night, after a meeting with Filch, when Peter walked into Gryffindor common room looking extremely ashamed. He approached the group, which included James, Alexia, Sirius, Remus, Lily, and Marlene. 

“Wormtail?” Remus glanced up. He caught the look on his friend’s face and frowned. “What is it? Did something happen?”

“Sort of,” Peter allowed. “Um… I was just walking back here and…”

“We’ve got hours of homework,” Alexia glared at him. “Spit it out, Pettigrew.”

“Filch caught me. Someone told him about the map and he took it from me.”

Immediately, there was an uproar. Alexia was angriest - she knew it was going to happen and she’d caused it, but it was his fault that she’d had to do it. She’d been angry all day, and had just been waiting for him to tell them to get it out. “Goddamn it, Pettigrew!” 

“Fuck, Wormtail,” Sirius groaned, leaning back against the chair he was sitting on the floor in front of. “Shit.”

“You weren’t even paying attention enough to get away from him?” James added. Lily and Marlene shared a look. 

“What map?”

“We made a map a few years ago that allows us to see the entire school and where people are,” Remus explained to them. He was only slightly irritated. “We’ve used it for a million different things. It’s how we found Alex in third year when Dolohov tried to kill her.”

“Mm, that sucked,” Alexia sighed heavily. “Fuck.”

“How are we supposed to plan pranks?” James asked in a dramatic tone. He looked at his friends as if it were the end of the world. 

“Prongs, we  _ haven’t _ been planning pranks,” Alexia reminded him. “We’ve been a bit busy.”

“Yeah, but we’re almost done with school!” Sirius piped in. “We have to get back on it or as it stands now, Prongs wins!” 

The group collectively glanced at the board on the nearby wall that held the tally marks under each of their names. 

“Well, in that case, maybe we should be done,” James grinned. “Clearly, I’m the better Potter Marauder.”

“Excuse me,” Alexia scoffed. “That’s not fair! I had to take multiple breaks so McGonagall wouldn’t ban me from Hogsmeade.”

“That’s just poor planning on your part,” Sirius snickered. 

“ _ The point is _ , the Map is gone,” Remus reminded them. 

“Can’t you just make another one?” Marlene wondered. Alexia shook her head quickly. 

“It took us a long time to make that one. Drawing it alone took months, and I don’t remember all of the spells and runes I put on it.”

“I can’t really remember all of the protective charms I put, either,” Sirius agreed. “That map is one of a kind, Marls.” 

“I’m sure you’ll survive,” Lily rolled her eyes. “I don’t see why it’s a big deal.”

“We were going to give it to our kids,” James pouted. “For when they come.”

Lily glanced at Alexia, who smiled softly at her. “Maybe you still will. You never know.”

* * *

**April 24th, 1978**

Losing the map was an unfortunate but much needed reminder of how little time they had left. It led to the Marauders going into overtime to plan an unreasonable number of pranks. They had at least three large ones planned between the five of them, but they also broke off into small groups to plan, and even did some on their own. 

The prank of that day was extremely difficult to set up. It required a lot of studying, and it took hours for Remus to twist a normal glamour to something that would cover everyone that walked into the Great Hall. Since that was where nearly the entire school assembled at least once a day, that was where they’d set it.

That night, everyone made their way in for dinner as normal. Dinner started at six thirty, and everyone was there by seven. Once the tables were full, the group exchanged a look and, all together, cast the same spell as quietly as possible. 

The charms activated immediately, and suddenly everyone in the Great Hall found themselves glamoured to look like Dumbledore, including the beard and eccentric robes. Even the Marauders were glamoured, because it left them less likely to be caught. 

Despite that, everyone knew. 

There was an immediate uproar. Most everyone was either horrified or deeply amused. There were a fair few Slytherins that were just pissed, but they were promptly ignored. People were turning to look for the Marauders, only to find that they couldn’t, because they were stuck in a sea of Dumbledores.

It was the start to the end of the prank war. Much to their relief, McGonagall didn’t crack down on them. It seemed that she allowed it, simply for the fact that they were finishing up, and though she wouldn’t admit it, she enjoyed it. 

* * *

**May 11th, 1978**

Graduation was that day, and everyone was a mix of more than ready and completely unprepared to leave Hogwarts. 

The Marauders were shocked to find the list taken down the week before, and upon asking McGonagall, the woman had told them not to worry about it and that she’d let them know who had won later on. 

The day of graduation meant last minute packing, preparing for the ceremony, and a bit of crying. Everyone in Gryffindor seventh year dorms seemed to be dragging their feet. After the ceremony, they would be leaving the castle entirely and heading home, wherever that may be. 

As for Alice and Dorcas and anyone else that was pulled out of school because of the war, they were welcomed back to graduate with their friends. Apparently, Dumbledore had offered some sort of special program they could do at home, but through Hogwarts. Being there for graduation, however, meant that they managed to sneak up to Gryffindor while their friends scrambled to get everything done. 

In that moment, Alexia had dropped a fragile looking book. She’d saved it with a spell, but when she went to pick it up, she’d kicked it accidentally, and it found its way under her bed. So she dropped down and reached under to grab it. She was halfway under the bed when Dorcas entered the room and took in the sight of the commotion. 

Dorcas snorted her laughter. “What’s wrong with Potter?”

“She’s losing her mind,” Lily called from the bathroom, where she was curling her hair with her wand. “Come help me?”

Dorcas made her way into the bathroom where Lily stood in front of the mirror next to Marlene, who was expertly swiping on some mascara. “Where’s my girlfriend?”

“I think she went to yell at Sirius,” Marlene answered as she moved from mascara to a red lipstick. “Her notebook went missing, and she’s convinced one of them did it.”

“It’s under her bed,” Alexia called from the room, where she was finally shedding her clothes to put on her dress. After sharing a room for seven years, none of them cared anymore, and they were all relatively used to her scars. “Or Lily’s. Do I need glasses?”

“You need to hurry up,” Alice laughed. She was sitting on Emmaline’s bed, completely ready for the ceremony. “You can get your eyes checked tomorrow.”

“Bad eyesight runs in my family,” Alexia commented, though she did reach for the shawl lying on her pillow. “Jamie has glasses, and so did Dad.”

“Alexia, you fucking idiot, you’re adopted,” Marlene laughed, tossing the hairbrush at her friend. Alexia blinked at her. 

“Oh, right.”

“Did you sleep at all last night?” Alice laughed. She grabbed the brush and began to brush out her hair again as it had gotten frazzled when she laid back on the bed. 

“Not really. Jamie and I snuck down to the kitchens and we spent four hours there talking. By the time we got back, it was early morning and he hadn’t packed at all, so I helped him. After we finished, there was no point in sleeping."

“James didn’t pack?” Lily asked, her eyes widening. “I’ve been telling him to for the past week! He said he was done!” 

Alexia blinked as she suddenly remembered her brother telling her  _ not _ to mention packing. “Uh, we packed Sirius’s things?”

“We have literally five minutes,” Emmaline called as she hurried into the room. She had already finished getting ready, but she looked quite flustered. “Black didn’t have it.”

“Under the bed!” Alexia called as she ran to the bathroom. Putting on makeup didn’t take her long - she only put on lipstick, mascara, and some blush. By the time she was done, however, they were out of time. 

All of the girls walked down to find Remus shoving his friend down the stairs and into the common room, where younger students were doing their homework. Students were allowed to come, but most didn’t as they still had finals to take. 

“You’re all late,” a fourth year said from the couch, grabbing their attention. “Or you’re about to be.”

“Thanks, kid,” Sirius rolled his eyes as they were shooed out of the common room. “We definitely needed that.”

The ceremony was outside, just as it always was. There was a large stage set up in front of the castle with a podium. In front of it sat less than a hundred chairs. There was a small space behind those, and then there were seats for visitors to watch. 

They were the last ones to get there, and McGonagall gave them all an exhausted look before waving them into the lives they were to sit in. Only a couple minutes after everyone was in place, they began walking out house by house. Ravenclaw went first, then Hufflepuff, then Slytherin, and finally, Gryffindor. 

Lily and James were both asked to give speeches as Head Girl and Head Boy, and they both managed to stumble through those before they sat back down and Dumbledore finally got up to give his speech. 

“I’d like to thank everyone for coming out to support Hogwarts’ graduating class of 1978. I thought I’d make this short, as I’m sure we’ve all got things to do, and you don’t want to hear and old man’s ramblings.

“The students before us today are the future of our world. They are our most precious and important weapons to fight injustice. I have complete faith that, should we trust the world in their hands, our future should be bright.”

With his short speech over, McGonagall stepped up next to him and began calling up students. They went by house, and in the same order that they’d walked out in, so Ravenclaw went first. By the time they got to Gryffindor, everyone was extremely bored of sitting there, and Sirius had tried three times to send small hexes at James, though various friends had stopped each of them. 

“Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Alexia Potter, and James Potter,” McGonagall called. The five of them exchanged a confused glance, but they stepped up and met her in the middle of the stage, where she turned to the crowd. “For the last five years, they have engaged in a sort of contest-,”

“No,” Sirius breathed, grinning. 

“-and it was completed a week ago. They do not know their final scores, so we decided to give their awards to them along with their diplomas.”

“In fifth place,” Dumbledore announced, grabbing a diploma and something else - a small ribbon. “Peter Pettigrew.”

Peter took it, shook Dumbledore’s hand, and moved to the right to wait for his friends. 

“In fourth place, we have Sirius Black.”

Sirius’s eyes widened. “Are you sure you read that right?”

“I’m positive,” Dumbledore chuckled. Sirius let out a dramatic sigh, but he grabbed his things, shook his hand, and stepped aside. “In third and second place, we have a tie.”

“How?” James whispered. 

“James and Alexia Potter,” Dumbledore called. The twins exchanged a glance and both followed Sirius’s lead. “Finally, in first place, Remus Lupin! Congratulations!” 

Remus let out a laugh and stepped over to grab his diploma. On top of it was the biggest ribbon of all, which read “Prank Master” on it. 

“You know what this means, Lex,” James nudged his sister. She glanced at him and raised an eyebrow. “We still don’t know who’s better, so we can’t really be done, can we?”

Alexia grinned back at him. “No. No, I suppose we can’t.”

* * *

The ceremony ended quickly after that, and everyone was invited into the Great Hall for refreshments. Everyone had somewhat separated to talk to people, eat, or grab their things from their dorms. It was how Alexia found herself sitting at a table alone. She was fighting with her hair to try and get the bobby pins out, and they were being difficult, as per usual. 

A hand fell on her hair and she tensed, but it began gently pulling them out, so she relaxed slightly. “After all these years, I would think you would have learned how to deal with your hair.”

Alexia rolled her eyes. “I spent years before the pureblood shit trying to figure it out and I didn’t manage it then, either. There’s just no hope for me.”

Narcissa pulled the last one out and sat by her side. She dropped the pins in Alexia’s open hand and smiled at her. “How are you feeling?”

Alexia hummed at the question and thought it over for the first time. “God, I don’t know. Excited, anxious, scared… I’ve got a year left, Cissa.”

“Well, you know you’ve got us when you do go back,” the woman reminded her kindly. “And if you need anything now, we will do anything we can.”

“Help Severus,” Alexia requested immediately. “I think he’s going to be pretty alone for some time. I know he’s withdrawn from me after my fight with Lily.”

“Of course. He’s a good person."

“Lexi!” a young voice called. She looked up to find two young redheads rushing over at her and she was barely able to brace herself before one of them grabbed her in a hug. 

“Um,” Alexia blinked. It took her a moment to process, but she finally realized that a nine-year-old Bill Weasley was hugging her, and a six-year-old Charlie was standing behind his brother impatiently. “Hello, Bill. What are you doing here?”

“Mum brought us!” Charlie told her. He looked like he had more energy than was necessarily healthy built up in him, and she let out a laugh. “Said we had to come, cause our uncles couldn’t.”

“Oh,” she breathed. 

“I’m going to find Severus now,” Narcissa told her gently. She shot the woman a look asking for help, but her friend ignored her and walked away. Bill released her and got up on the bench to stand on it. 

“Where are your parents, guys?” she asked them. Bill pointed at the crowd he’d appeared out of. 

“Looking for Dumbles!” 

“Are you sure you should be away from them?” 

Charlie nodded rapidly. “Mummy told us to come find you! She said we needed to walk around.”

“We’re bored,” Bill told her. “That took  _ forever _ .”

Alexia glanced back at the crowd. “Well, if you guys need to take a walk, I can show you around Hogwarts a bit. I need a break from the noise, anyway.”

“Yeah!” Charlie grinned brightly. “We’ve never seen Hogwarts before.”

She got to her feet and reached out for both of them. They each held one of her hands, and she took care guiding them out of the Great Hall. “What do you guys want to see first?”

“Dungeons!” Bill exclaimed. He was practically vibrating with excitement. “I wanna be a Slytherin.”

“Down we go,” she winked. She led them to the stairs that took them to the dungeons. They weren’t empty, but she wasn’t expecting them to be. A lot of guests were wandering around, so she was careful to pull the young boys around the groups of talking people. 

“Do you know where Slytherin is? Mum said other Houses don’t know,” Charlie complained. 

“Actually, I do,” she informed them. They turned left down a corridor and headed toward a large, empty wall. She stopped in front of it. “Kind of boring. I’d take you in there, but I don’t know their password.”

“But it’s just a wall.”

She nodded. “All of the common rooms are hidden. Gryffindor is behind a portrait on the fifth floor, and Hufflepuff is by the kitchens, hidden next to a portrait of fruit, which is the entrance to the kitchens.”

“But it’s a  _ wall _ .”

“Slytherins are supposed to be sneaky,” Bill told his brother. “No one would expect a stupid wall to be their common room. I think it’s brilliant.”

“ _ Adopting children _ ?”

Alexia jumped, startling both boys. All three of them turned together, and she breathed out at the sight of Antonin. “ _ Future Slytherins, apparently. Not mine. _ ”

“Who’s he?” Bill asked. He attempted to whisper, but it was essentially the same volume he spoke normally. 

“Bill, Charlie, this is Antonin Dolohov,” she introduced them. “He’s…” she hesitated. “We went to school together.”

The brothers exchanged a look that she’d seen them exchange many times in the future before they both looked at her and Bill spoke. “Where’s James? I wanna see him use magic again.”

“He’s in Gryffindor,” she smiled. “I’ll take you there.”

“ _ I will escort you _ ,” Antonin told her. She raised an eyebrow at him, but said nothing as they made their way out of the dungeons and up the staircases with the brothers. 

“What’s that?” Charlie asked. He was pointing at a portrait that Alexia frowned at. 

“I’m not sure, actually. I never spent much time on the third floor, and I usually take a different way to Gryffindor.”

“That would be the portrait that Mildred the Mouldy usually resides in,” Antonin told them. His English surprised her into looking at him, and he chuckled at her. “I highly doubt they know Russian, Hermione.”

“Why’s she mouldy?” 

“What’s a Hermione?”

“She died eating mouldy bread,” Antonin chuckled. “Hermione is my nickname for Alexia.”

Alexia rolled her eyes. “She didn’t die eating moudly bread, Antonin.”

Antonin gave her a grin that surprised her. “I have no clue why she’s mouldy.”

“This is a lot of stairs,” Charlie complained. With a small sigh, Alexia turned back and picked him up, much to his relief. With him on her back, they continued to make their way up the last staircase and down the halls. When they reached Gryffindor, she called out the password and Antonin held the portrait open for her and then followed in behind them. 

“Ash- oh,” Remus stopped at the sight of the odd group. He smiled kindly at Bill and Charlie. “New Gryffindors?”

“I’m gonna be in Slytherin!” Bill disagreed. Charlie, however, nodded excitedly. 

“They wanted to see Jamie,” Alexia explained. 

“Upstairs with Sirius,” Remus told her. His eyes slipped to Antonin, who was standing casually behind Alexia. “Alex, he probably shouldn’t be in here.”

“Neither should they,” she rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure he behaves.”

Remus sighed and stepped to the side to allow them up the stairs. When they got into the dorm, all four of them, Alexia finally put Charlie down. 

“Weasleys!” Sirius exclaimed, surprised. “Ash, did you kidnap them?”

“Molly sent them looking for me,” she replied. James stepped out of the bathroom with a bottle of shampoo in his hands and tossed it at his trunk, where it fell in and clanked around until it found its place at the bottom.

“Bill!” James grinned. “Man, kid, you got old.”

“Show us magic!” Bill demanded, rushing over. Charlie followed after his brother, and Alexia stepped back. 

“I’m gonna get him out of here before Padfoot hexes him,” Alexia nodded at Antonin. James glanced at them. 

“Would’ve been nice if you hadn’t brought him in here to begin with, but go ahead. I’ll take them back to Molly when they get bored.”

Ignoring her brother’s annoyance, Alexia waved Antonin out of the door, down the stairs, and out of the common room. It was only after they’d closed the portrait hole behind them that she spoke, and he reached to offer his arm. She took it easily. “ _ What are you doing here _ ?”

“ _ I came for you, of course. _ ”

Truthfully, it didn’t surprise her. She hadn’t gotten to see everyone that had come, but she had spotted him just as she was taking her seat earlier. “ _ I suppose I appreciate you suffering through that entire thing, then. God knows I was bored enough. _ ”

“ _ You seem to have the patience of a child. _ ”

“ _ I’ve been in the wrong time for seven years. Of  _ course _ I’m impatient. _ ”

Antonin hummed in agreement as they reached the stars and he held onto her hand that rested on his arm to ensure she didn’t fall. “ _ The Patriarch is here. _ ”

Alexia groaned. “ _ Antonin, I don’t trust him. I don’t want to meet with him, I don’t want to write up any sort of contract, I just- I just want to get through the next year without more bullshit. _ ”

“ _ I would not suggest you meet him, Hermione. He is angry with you for denying him. My hope is that, in the future, he is dead. _ ”

“ _ Oh _ ,” she nodded. “ _ Great, then. _ ”

“ _ The Dark Lord is also here. _ ”

Alexia screwed up her face. “ _ Seriously? He came to the fucking graduation? Why? _ ”

“ _ I am unsure. He is interested in you, but that is all I know. _ ”

“ _ Did you tell Voldemort I’m adopted? And muggleborn? _ ”

Antonin looked at her, slightly surprised. She looked frustrated, and he wondered how long she’d wanted to ask him. Likely since the Wizengamot session. “ _ I would have told you, had I shared that information. I believe it came from Pettigrew. _ ”

Alexia cursed colorfully and stopped short. “ _ I’m such a fucking idiot. Sometimes I forget- sometimes I just forget that he’s still a Death Eater. Fuck. How long has he known, then? Because Wormtail has known for years. _ ”

“ _ I believe he has known for two years. Nott was punished for sharing the information publicly. The Dark Lord meant to blackmail you with it. _ ”

“ _ Bastard _ ,” she muttered, though she wasn’t sure if she was talking about Voldemort or Peter. “ _ God, I can’t wait for this to be over. _ ”

“ _ I am here for more than a warning _ ,” he told her slowly. She met his eyes curiously. “ _ I spoke with Croaker, and I’ve been asked to hire you in the Department of Mysteries. We would work together _ .”

Alexia felt her mouth fall open and her brow furrowed. “ _ I’d work with you? Where, exactly? _ ”

“ _ We would work together, yes. I work mainly in the time room, but I also consult in other rooms. Croaker wishes to study the effects of the orb used to send you here, and he believes you would be a great asset in this research. _ ”

“ _ Are you sure that’s a good idea? I mean… if we study this, could Voldemort find out about it? _ ”

“ _ The Vows to work in the Department of Mysteries are extensive. Nothing would get back to the Dark Lord, _ ” he assured her. When she hesitated, he touched her face gently, surprising her. “ _ I believe it would be the safest option. How much research have you truly done _ ?”

“ _ Not… much. Alphard only really figured out that it was the orb and that it wasn’t hurting me, and that it’ll send me back. We talked about doing more, but getting the ring done became a priority to me and then… I didn’t want to work with Croaker because I don’t trust him completely. _ ”

Antonin looked at her quietly. “ _ Do you trust me, Hermione _ ?”

“ _ Yes. _ ”

“ _ Then come work with me. _ ”

Alexia nodded hesitantly. “ _ Okay. Yeah, okay _ .”

* * *

Late that night, everyone had gone back to Potter Manor. It wasn’t the safest place, but they missed it. James, Alexia, Remus, Sirius, Frank, Peter, Lily, Marlene, Dorcas, Emmaline, and Alice sat in the garden together with various bottles of alcohol spread around and an abundance of food prepared for them by the elves. 

“Okay, I’ve got something to say,” Sirius announced. Everyone turned to find him getting to his feet. He made his way over to stand in front of Marlene, who was mid-drink. 

“Huh?”

“Marlene, I’m a fucking idiot-,”

“Yeah.”

“I wasn’t- there was more,” he said, offended. Alice snickered from beside Marlene, who was smirking at her boyfriend. He rolled his eyes at her and started again. “I haven’t always treated you like you deserved. I spent a lot of time trying to go after something easier that I didn’t really want-,”

“Don’t call my sister easy, you fucking arse,” James spat. Sirius threw his hands up. 

“That’s not what I meant!” 

“Keep going,” Remus nudged his leg with his foot. 

“Marls, you are so much more than I ever could’ve asked for. You’re brilliant and funny and fucking badass, and you’re so  _ gorgeous _ . I was so against marriage, proposals, anything like that until you told me you loved the idea of being proposed to. The day after you told me that, I decided I was going to propose,” he told her. Finally, he got down on his knee and pulled the ring he’d picked out. “I’m not good at waiting for things, but I waited to propose at a time I knew you’d appreciate. So, Marlene McKinnon, will you marry me?”

Marlene snatched the ring out of his hand and put it on her finger with a bright smile. It fit her perfectly, thanks to Alexia and Lily’s hard work trying to find her ring size. She tossed herself into his arms, and he grabbed her gratefully. “Fuck yes, I’ll marry you, Black.”

* * *


	44. The Cost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The future pain is now present pain. RIP #3. Sorry guys.

**Chapter Forty-Four**

_ A wise man once wrote “never give all the heart” _

_ Well it’s easy to see, he was writing for me _

_ I just wish I could play that part _

**June 10th, 1978**

Finally, after graduating, they were allowed to join the Order. It was the very next meeting after graduation that they were all welcomed in. In total, from the graduating class, James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Marlene, Lily, Dorcas, Emmaline, Frank, and Alice joined the Order. Since Alexia was already a member, she watched them all be marked in what she felt was a bittersweet moment. 

Potter Manor’s wards had been, much to their horror, somewhat destroyed in the raid on New Year’s. Or rather, someone with extensive knowledge of wards had essentially stolen them by keying them to their magic. It was a very long and exhausting process to get them back, and it would take a long time and a lot of money. Because of that, the group split up and found homes elsewhere. Sirius and Remus got a flat together, and it was down the street from Fabian and Gideon’s flat, which Alexia had decided to stay in. She’d finally had it cleaned up professionally so that there were no more scorch marks on the wall or floor. As for James and Lily, they’d decided to get their own place, which ended up being the cottage in Godric’s Hollow. 

With all of them settled, they began getting jobs. Alexia was the first to go to work, having been offered a job at graduation. James and Sirius both applied for the accelerated hit wizard training run by Moody, and it kept them busy almost constantly. Lily was working in St. Mungo’s, training to be a healer. Remus… Remus was sending in a lot of applications and getting nothing back. 

That day, Alexia had arrived early to work, and she was already in a bad mood by the time she arrived at the Ministry. She’d been given a special badge that would allow her full access to the DOM, and it allowed her to come and go at any time of day or night. Luckily, by the time she got down to their office, Antonin had already brewed her coffee. He’d become very quickly aware of how short her temper was in the mornings, and to her absolute irritation, he found it very funny. 

“ _ Not a word _ ,” she grumbled as she dropped herself into her chair. “ _ Tell me we have a slow day. _ ”

“ _ In the office, we do _ ,” he confirmed as he pulled on his outer robes. “ _ But I believe you will be called for an Order meeting in just a few moments. _ ”

Alexia dropped her head on her desk hard and groaned. “ _ Please kill me. I need the rest _ .”

He waved his wand at the coffee pot and left without another word. She only picked her head up when the coffee cup set itself on her desk in front of her. 

Thirty minutes and four  _ very _ rushed cups of coffee later and Alexia found herself sitting in Dumbledore’s office with the Order. James and Remus sat on either side of her, and she used James’s shoulder to rest her head as they were briefed. 

“Today’s raid is a serious threat to the Statute,” Moody grunted. “Raids up until now have been mainly on small muggle neighborhoods, but today, we’ll see a raid on a very busy muggle area. We’ve sent word to Prime Minister Callaghan, and he’s having the area evacuated, but expect muggles. I want all of you to put up your strongest muggle-repellent charms the second you get there.”

They had very little information, apparently, because they were sent away only a few moments after that. The Order had been assigned groups, and one was very familiar - James, Alexia, Sirius, Lily, and Marlene. They had worked together on a couple of other raids and Moody had insisted they continue to do so. 

The raid lasted about three hours in total, and everyone was a little bit injured by the end of it. Two Death Eaters had died, but none had been captured. It was when they turned to check on each other that they realized something was wrong. 

James lay on the ground unconscious and with blood pouring from him at an alarming rate. The process of taking him to St. Mungo’s was a quick and blurry one, but as a hit wizard in training, he took his assured bed and was attended to immediately. 

After two hours of waiting and a lot of complaining, a mediwitch walked out to the waiting room and glanced over the small group. Her eyes settled on Alexia, who was the only person that was clearly related to James. “He’s doing well. He woke up a few minutes ago, and he seems to be mostly healed, but we’d like to keep him overnight for observation."

“Thank you,” Alexia breathed in relief. She got to her feet. “Can we see him?”

The woman nodded and led them to his room, where they all entered to see him drinking down a potion. “Lex! Lily, Padfoot!” 

Alexia offered him a grateful smile. “I’m so glad you’re-,”

“I can’t believe you!” Lily yelled, cutting her off. She stalked over to James angrily, and he stared at her with wide, confused and frightened eyes. “How  _ dare _ you?”

“How dare I… what?”

“Get hurt!” she smacked his arm. “You’re such a prat!”

“Uh… I’m sorry?”

“What the hell would I have done? You can’t  _ die _ , James! And yet you get hurt, and you bled so much, and  _ look at Lexi _ ! She’s covered in your blood, you arse!” 

James looked at his sister, afraid. “Help?”

Lily started smacking his arm again, this time with every word for impact. “Don’t- you- dare- do- that- again!” 

“Okay! Okay, I’m sorry! It’s really not a big deal, Lils, I’m  _ fine _ -,”

“No, you’re not! How are we supposed to spend our lives together if you’re  _ dead _ ?”

“If I’m- our  _ lives _ ?” James blinked at her. Lily’s eyes narrowed. 

“Well, we’re going to get married, aren’t we?”

“But… I haven’t asked you yet.”

“Then  _ I’m _ asking  _ you _ ,” she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “Marry me, James, and don’t fucking die.”

James blinked at her rapidly. “Did you just propose to me?”

Lily nodded firmly. 

“By  _ yelling _ at me?”

“Yes, I did. Now promise not to die.”

James let out an incredulous laugh. “Merlin, woman, I promise not to die if you don’t.”

“Good.”

There was a moment of silence in the room that was broken by Sirius bursting into laughter. “Fuck, guys, this is perfect. An absolutely perfect proposal, Lily, absolutely perfect.”

* * *

**June 18th, 1978**

It was going to be a rushed wedding. 

James and Lily had talked about it after she’d stopped yelling, and they’d both agreed that they wanted it to be done as soon as possible for many reasons. Because of that, James had left with Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Frank to go shopping for robes, and Alexia had taken Lily, Emmaline, Dorcas, and Alice to a shop in France that she’d gone to with Dorea and Lily for her society dresses. 

“Being here for myself is a bit more frustrating,” Lily laughed as she looked around at the gowns. “I see why you were losing your mind, Alex.”

“Mm,” Alexia nodded. She grabbed out a bridesmaid dress and showed it first to Lily, who nodded happily, and then to the other girls. Dorcas grabbed it from her and slipped into a changing room. “It’s nice that we’re here. Mum loved this shop.”

“She had expensive taste,” Alice laughed incredulously. She was looking at the price tag on one of the bridesmaid dresses in the lineup. “These are a  _ lot _ .”

“Jamie and I are paying for everything,” Alexia waved her off. “Don’t stress about the price. Sirius wants to help, too, just to shit away the Black fortune.”

“Fuck, I’ll help him with that,” Marlene grinned. She was tying up the dress Lily had tried on, and she pulled it tight one last time. Lily turned around and stared at the dress in wonder. 

“It’s so…”

“Magical?” Alice offered. Lily nodded dumbly.

“This is the first dress I’ve tried on,” she told them hesitantly. “This can’t be the one, right?”

“You look pretty damn pleased,” Emmaline grinned. “And  _ hot _ .”

“Hey, so do I,” Dorcas announced. She stepped out of the dressing room to show them the baby blue dress she wore. 

“Hot damn, yes you do,” Emmaline winked. 

“You really think we can get everything done in a week?” Alice wondered. Lily looked to Alexia nervously. 

“A week is really quick. I mean, I want to be married to him, but you and Sirius are  _ sure _ we can-,”

“Certain,” Alexia promised. She grabbed another dress that Lily had eyed for bridesmaids dresses and slipped into the changing room behind her. “Narcissa and I met with the planner who handles society events multiple times over the last couple of years, and I know she’s  _ incredible _ . We’ve already talked a few times, and you and Jamie will sit down with her in a few hours, actually, and go over what you want to see at the wedding.”

“If we’ve got a few hours, we should actually pay attention,” Emmaline laughed. “Lils, what d’you think of the blue one?”

Lily looked over Dorcas closely. “I like it, but I think James wanted to do Gryffindor colors. Maybe a gold dress like the one Lexi grabbed.”

Alexia, in the changing room, tripped slightly over the dress and cursed in multiple languages, including French and English. It was enough to make the saleswoman that was walking over blush and walk away. “Someone help me.”

Alice snickered and slipped into the changing room to assist her, but she spoke still to Lily. “What do you think of the one you’re wearing, Lils?”

“It’s gorgeous,” Lily admitted. She stood in front of a mirror and looked over herself in wonder. “But don’t most people try on a bunch of dresses before they find the one?”

“Not if you fall in love with the first one,” Marlene commented. She stood looking at shoes that had been brought over with the dress Lily was in, and she snatched a pair of stilettos for herself. “And you look  _ amazing _ .”

“It’s a lot, though,” she sighed. “I didn’t even know wedding dresses could be this expensive.”

Alexia pulled the curtain open and stepped out in the gold dress. The glare she shot Lily didn’t quite match the sight she was in the dress. “Bring up the price again and I’ll buy the entire damn store for you.”

“Look, it’s just a lot, Lexi-,”

“The  _ entire _ store.”

Lily put her hands up with a nervous laugh. “Okay. In that case… I think this is the one.”

“And the one Lexi’s in?” Dorcas wondered. She had gone to change out of her own dress and once more wore jeans and a yellow crop top. 

“I love that, too. It isn’t too loud, and I was sort of worried about that. If all of you like it, I think I’d like to do that one.”

“Great!” Emmaline grinned. “Shoes, jewelry, and we’re done!” 

* * *

**June 18th, 1978**

The week was a whirlwind of planning, work, and fighting. Raids were picking up, and more families were being targeted. Already, a family of a muggleborn man and a half-blood witch and their children had been killed, and the muggleborn man’s family had been moved into protective custody. 

The day before James and Lily’s wedding was filled with a  _ lot _ of planning and running around. Just about all of them had gotten the day off, and they were doing their best to set up Potter Manor for the ceremony and reception. They’d been given temporary warding stones that would keep them safe. 

The issue came in the fact that Marlene had been missing all day. 

“Have you heard from her yet?” Sirius asked Remus. The werewolf shook his head. 

“I owled her again five minutes ago, but nothing yet. Alex said if we don’t hear from her in the next hour, she’s going to go talk to Dumbledore.” 

“Something happened,” Sirius said for the tenth time that day. “She wouldn’t not be here, Moony.”

“Look, I’ll go look for her,” Remus offered. “But one of us has to stay here to help. We’ve still got so much to do here.”

Sirius nodded rapidly. “Okay, go. Let me know as soon as you know anything.”

Remus patted his shoulder comfortingly and made his way to the floo. Marlene was staying with her parents until she and Sirius got married, so he made his way to their house, which he’d gone to once before to pick up a drunk Sirius who had insisted he had to take Marlene home. 

When he came out the other side of the floo, everything looked normal, but no one had come to the floo room to see who had arrived, so he pulled out his wand and stepped out of the room. Immediately, he was on edge. A table had been knocked over, and a picture on the wall had been broken. 

Remus put up a shield and moved farther into the house. He checked the closest room, which turned out to be a bathroom, and found it untouched. After that, there was a kitchen and living room, and that was where he found the first body. 

It seemed to be Marlene’s sister, Angelica. She was only ten, but she lay on the ground with blood coming from her head. Remus kneeled down to check her pulse, but he found none. With a disappointed sigh, he gently closed her eyes and got to his feet again. 

Continuing further into the house, he found the living room with Marlene’s mother. She sat limply in a chair, and upon checking her pulse, he realized she was dead as well. With a sick feeling in his stomach, he made his way to the basement. 

Down there, he found her father first. He seemed to have fought back more than anyone else, as he was a bit of a mess. His robes were ripped, he had various injuries, and his wand was still in his hand. Again checking the pulse, Remus realized he was definitely dead. 

Finally, as he stepped into the back of the basement, he stopped short. Marlene was there, and she was worse off than her father. She’d had her throat slit, and she seemed to have been hit with multiple dark curses. Despite that, there were also two dead Death Eaters nearby. 

Remus dropped to his knees and put his hand over her still bleeding neck. He grabbed her wrist but felt no pulse, and panic filled him. He pressed harder against the wound on her neck, despite how futile it was. With his free hand, he tried to cast a Patronus, but it was impossible to find a happy memory to overpower the feeling of his friend’s blood covering his hand and her missing pulse. 

* * *

Sirius stood in the floo room, tapping his foot impatiently. He’d been left alone in there when he’d snapped at anyone that had tried to talk to him. It had been a half hour since Remus had left and he was getting worried. He’d at least expected a patronus to tell him that Marlene was fine, but there’d been nothing. 

The door behind him opened and closed again quietly, and a moment later, James came to stand at his side. “Nothing yet?” 

“No.”

“Do you wanna go find him?” James offered. “I’ll come with you.” 

“You’ve got shit to do here,” Sirius reminded him hesitantly. James shrugged. 

“It’s a war, Pads. Moony could be in danger if there is something wrong with Marlene.” 

That was more than enough convincing for Sirius, so he stepped into the floo. Seconds after he stepped out of it in Marlene’s house, James appeared behind him. They wasted no time leaving the room. Just as Remus had, they found Angelica in the hall. While James checked her, Sirius hurried ahead to find Lady McKinnon. 

“Remus!” he yelled, looking around hurriedly. “Fuck, Moony, where are you?”

“Down here!” came Remus’s voice. Sirius slammed the basement door open and took the stairs two at a time. He jumped straight over Lord McKinnon’s body and over to his friend. He fell to his knees and pulled Marlene from Remus’s lap into his own. 

“Fuck,” Sirius cursed, his hands hovering over her. “Shit- fuck, we need to get her to St. Mungo’s.”

“Sirius, she’s not-,”

“She’s bleeding too much,” he insisted. Just like Remus, he pressed his hands over her neck. “Shit, she’ll need a blood transfusion at this rate.”

“Padfoot, she- I’m sorry, she’s-,”

“Call Moody,” Sirius kept going. He picked Marlene up in his arms and moved toward the stairs. “I’ll get her there.”

James turned the corner to find them and froze. “Moony, is she-,”

“Yeah,” Remus confirmed softly. “He won’t listen to me.”

“Padfoot, slow down,” James tried. He grabbed Sirius’s shoulder, but Sirius shook it off. 

“We have to hurry!” 

“Sirius, you need to listen to us-,”

“If we don’t hurry, she’s going to die, Prongs!” 

“Sirius, she  _ is _ dead,” James said loudly. Sirius froze in spot as the harsh words hit him. He glanced down at the woman in his arms. “Look at her. Her chest isn’t moving, she’s pale. I’m sorry, Pads, but we were too late. She’s gone.”

* * *

**July 19th, 1978**

There was no funeral, just like Mary. 

There was no funeral, but there was no wedding, either. They didn’t have to talk about it to agree to postpone the wedding. Sirius had been given a week off of training, which was too much as it was with the war going, but Sirius was far too reckless to go to raids. 

He wasn’t handling it well. He’d gotten drunk numerous times in the weeks since, and he’d stumbled over to Fabian and Gideon’s flat at three in the morning with a black eye and a split lip. Alexia had healed him up, gotten him a sober up potion, and put him to bed. 

Despite the grieving, life went on. They went to work, to raids, and spent as much time together as they could. Often times, they would go to Godric’s Hollow and hang out there. It didn’t take long, though, before Remus began being sent on missions for the Order with Greyback’s pack, and that meant that he was gone more often than not. 

That day in particular, there was yet another raid. This one was on Diagon Alley, and it was another attempt to find Ollivander. Fortunately for them, the old wizard hadn’t left his hideout since being placed there, which meant they were only protecting the rest of the Alley. 

Alexia and Sirius fought side by side that night. Sirius had been informed by Moody, Dumbledore, and James that he was to always fight with someone else for the simple fact that they were afraid he’d kill someone to get back at them for Marlene’s death. 

Apparently, that was a good idea, because he was very intent to do just that. 

They stood side by side and fought two Death Eaters. Alexia found that whoever she fought was a wonderful match for her, and she had to actually pay a decent amount of attention to him to keep herself safe. She was pretty sure she was fighting Lucius, if she was being honest. Sirius was moving rapidly, shooting off curses, hexes, and spells at a dangerous rate. It was a kickback curse that hit the Death Eater and threw his mask off, revealing his familiar face. 

Sirius’s anger spiked at the sight of a familiar Death Eater, so he really got into it. He began sending darker curses that were harder to block, and more than a few actually managed to get through Antonin’s shield to hit him. Alexia only noticed the situation when Sirius screamed at him. 

“ _ How dare you kill her _ ?” 

Her head snapped to the side as Sirius began casting. Her mind raced, and she did the first thing she could think of to save Antonin from the Killing Curse that was about to hit him - she cast  _ Carpe Retractum _ . He flew toward her and slammed into her. The force sent them both to the ground, and he put his arms out so he wouldn’t fall onto her painfully. Sirius’s  _ Avada _ hit another Death Eater, this one further back and dueling another Order member. 

Alexia groaned in pain and tipped her head back dizzily. She’d definitely hit her head upon falling to the ground. “ _ Are you okay _ ?”

“ _ Are you _ ?” he shot back. She nodded a little, and he helped her to her feet. She managed to step in front of him just as another spell, this one red, was about to hit him. Instead, it hit her stomach and she let out a shout of pain at the unexpected and  _ strong _ torture. 

Antonin grabbed her by her arms to keep her from falling, and the Death Eater Alexia had been fighting turned to stun Sirius. He dropped to the ground with a small thud, and the other Death Eater ran off to fight someone else. “ _ Take him and leave, Dorogaya _ .”

Alexia let out a groan of pain and tried to straighten, but when he released her, she started to fall over again, so he grabbed her once more. “ _ He’s got a worse Crucio than you, Antonin _ .”

With a dark frown, he twisted on his ankle and Apparated away with her in his arms. They landed in an unfamiliar place, and he set her on a couch behind her. “ _ Sit. I will be back. _ ”

“ _ Sirius- _ ,”

“ _ Will be fine. Stay here, don’t complain, and don’t make noise _ .”

Before she could argue, he Apparated away again. By the time he got back, the battle was winding down. Most of the Death Eaters had left, and Sirius lay in the same spot. He kneeled down and woke him with his wand shoved at his neck. 

“Dolohov, you fucking arse-,”

“You hurt her again, even on accident, and I will kill you,” he said calmly. Sirius looked confused, so he pushed the wand against him harder. “Your recklessness hurt Hermione. Did you see it, Black? You tortured her.”

“I did  _ not _ -,”

“You think she would let you hurt me?” Antonin pointed out sharply. “Get yourself together quickly. I hear her complain about you  _ every day _ , but you’ve crossed the line.”

“Where is she?” he asked softly. “Is she okay?” 

“I will return her this evening.”

“Dolohov, where the fuck is she?”

“Safer than with you, evidently.”

With that, he straightened and Apparated back to Alexia, who had gotten to her feet and was looking at the bookcase in the room. She turned back to look at him when she heard the crack of Apparition. 

“ _ That was extremely foolish, Hermione. He could have killed you _ .”

“ _ Better me than you _ ,” she commented lightly. The glare he gave her only made her roll her eyes. “ _ Relax. I’d have been fine, even if he did kill me. Regulus can bring me back. _ ”

“ _ I can handle torture, Hermione. _ ”

Alexia snorted and leaned against the wall. She was getting dizzy, and her head  _ hurt _ . “ _ Clearly, so can I. I was fine in second year, I was fine when my shield fell and Croaker tortured me, and I’m fine now. _ ”

Antonin’s glare didn’t lessen, but he did walk over and guide her back to the couch. “ _ It is ending. Black is fine. _ ”

“ _ Where are we, exactly _ ?” she wondered. She grabbed her bag and reached through it for a familiar potion to help with the pain and drank it down quickly. 

“ _ Russia. Our family home. _ ”

Alexia tensed and looked at the door nervously. “ _ I probably shouldn’t be here, then. _ ”

“ _ I am reluctant to return you anywhere Black is. _ ”

“ _ Take me home, then. I don’t live with him, Antonin, and he doesn’t have a key. I always lock the floo when I’m out as well. He has no way to get in. _ ”

Antonin held his hand out to her and she took it. She was shaking lightly, and his jaw clenched when he noticed. Still, he let her Apparate them outside of her apartment. When her hands shook too much to unlock the door, he took the key and did it for her. When they got inside, James was there on the couch, looking angry. 

“Jamie,” Alexia greeted. The longer it had been since the incident, the more pain she was in. Her potion hadn’t had time to take effect yet, so she was just left shaking and in pain. Silently, Antonin led her over to her brother. 

“Shit, Lex,” he grimaced. “It was really bad?” 

“Nothing I haven’t been through before,” she assured him. “Why’re you here, Prongs?”

“Sirius told me to come,” he sighed. “Everyone’s pissed at him. He’s pissed at him.”

“ _ I’m _ pissed at him,” Alexia muttered. 

“ _ How did he get in here _ ?” Antonin wondered. She glanced at him and blinked. Her headache from hitting her head when they fell was getting much worse and she couldn’t quite figure out what language he’d spoken in. 

“He’s my brother, Antonin. He’s got a key.” 

“Do you have a concussion?” Antonin asked her, this time in English. He could see the confusion in her and, because of that, helped her sit down on the couch. 

“Why would she have a concussion?” James questioned. He sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Antonin kneeled down in front of her and waved his wand slowly over her. Immediately, some of the pain dulled and she let out a sigh of relief. 

“She hit her head when Black tried to kill me,” Antonin answered for her. He was still very clearly angry, and for once, James agreed with him. “You have a concussion, Hermione.”

“When the hell did he try to kill you?” James asked loudly. Alexia frowned at her brother. 

“Jamie, what exactly did Sirius tell you?” she wondered. She smacked away Antonin’s hands when he went to check the small cut on her head. 

“Potter, tell her to let me do what I need to do or I’m going to stun her until I can heal her.”

James grabbed Alexia’s hands within his own. “C’mon, Lex, you’re hurt. He’s- Merlin, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but he’s just trying to help you.”

Alexia let out a sigh, but she did relax slightly and allow Antonin to work. He touched her face gently with one hand and with the other, he sprayed the cut gently with water. She grimaced and glanced at her brother. “Again, what did Sirius say?”

“He told me that he accidentally hit you with a bad curse,” James shrugged. Antonin’s eyes shot to her, and she made a face. 

“Antonin, it isn’t important.”

“Your brother deserves to know how dangerous his temper is, Hermione.”

“ _ James _ didn’t get hurt, I did.”

“And you think that’s  _ better _ ?”

“Yes, in fact, I do.”

“Guys!” James looked between them. “What the fuck happened?”

“Black tried to kill me,” Antonin said. He spoke before Alexia could, and she glared at him for it. “But Hermione used  _ Carpe Retractum _ , and we fell. She hit her head. Then, he tried to  _ Crucio _ me, so she stepped in front of me, and it hit her instead.”

James stared at him for a moment. When he just continued his practiced movements healing Alexia, James’s eyes swept to her instead. “Lex, is he serious?” She nodded shortly, and he tipped his head back in frustration. “Fucking- he’s losing it. He’s actually losing it.”

“Marlene died,” Alexia reasoned quietly. “I never expected him to be like that, ever. I’ve known him for so long, and I’ve never even  _ considered _ he could’ve fallen in love or gotten engaged. He definitely didn’t say anything-,”

“Potter,” Antonin interrupted sharply. “You have a concussion, and you need to stop talking.”

“I’m really sick of people doing that,” James muttered. “First Pollux, now Dolohov. What’s going on, Lex?”

“Concussion,” Alexia agreed. She was getting tired, and her headache hadn’t improved much. “I just want to go to sleep.”

“Potter, you will stay with her,” Antonin ordered. “Keep her up until the concussion is gone.”

“But she’s tired.”

“And she has a concussion. It isn’t safe.”

Alexia reached for Antonin’s hand and quickly intertwined their fingers. “Are you leaving?”

“I have to go back, Dorogaya,” he replied. “Do not come to work tomorrow.”

“We’re in the  _ middle of a project _ !” she exclaimed. She made to stand but immediately got dizzy and fell back onto the couch. “I have to, Antonin.”

“Come to work and I will personally escort you home and place Snape here with you to keep you here until you are healed.”

“Might as well do it anyway, because she won’t stay put,” James snickered. “And I’ll stay with you tonight, Ash, but I gotta go to work tomorrow or Moody will track me down and kill me."

Alexia released Antonin’s hand reluctantly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Good luck, Potter,” Antonin chuckled. He made his way out of the flat and closed the door softly behind him. Left alone, Alexia let out a dramatic sigh and threw herself against her brother.

“Jamie, I’m dizzy.”

James looked down at her and blinked. It was definitely going to be a long night.

* * *

**December 29th, 1978**

Time was moving quickly and agonizingly slow for just about everyone. Without school as a distraction, pretty much all of them threw themselves into work and the Order. Lily was doing long hours at St. Mungo’s and tended to get home late at night after leaving in the early mornings. James had a more regular schedule during training, but since he and Sirius had passed their hit wizard tests, they were essentially working whenever Moody called them. 

Remus was still working with the werewolf packs. He’d gotten some valuable information back to them on who Greyback was targeting, when attacks would be, and even once on an attack on the only two apothecaries in England that brewed Wolfsbane. His request to come home for Christmas was denied with a regretful, grandfatherly smile from Dumbledore. 

As Alexia was the only one that had Christmas Eve and Christmas day off, they decided to celebrate late as a group. They all gathered in Godric’s Hollow that morning, and James and Lily made homemade cinnamon rolls for them. 

“I’m still not clear on what you  _ do _ exactly,” Sirius complained as he poked Alexia. She was placing the ornament she’d given James on the tree like he’d asked her to, as well as her own. She’d decided against decorating her flat for the holiday, or any holiday, truthfully. “D’you just follow Dolohov around all day?”

“Padfoot, I’m pretty sure they’ve got super intense Vows in the DOM,” Peter commented. “And I think she’s going to hex you.”

“Nah, Pete, she’s gonna hex  _ you _ ,” Sirius laughed. “Really, Lexi, you’ve gotta be able to tell us  _ something _ .”

“Did pestering Dad about his work in the DOM ever work?” she wondered. She came back to sit at his side and sipped at the eggnog she’d made and brought over. It was a recipe from her muggle parents that she’d learned just before her original sixth year. 

“I stopped trying when I was eight. It’s not worth it, Pads,” James told their friend. He came to stand behind them where they sat on the couch and ruffled Alexia’s hair, only to snicker when she glared at him. “They’re in the oven. It’ll be about twenty minutes.”

“Aw, look at you, Prongs. All… domesticized,” Sirius grinned. James returned it happily.

“Isn’t it great?”

Lily stepped into the room with her apron still on, and she sat between Sirius and Alexia only so she could drop her head on Alexia’s shoulder. “I love him, but your brother is exhausting to live with constantly. How does he always have so much energy?”

Alexia laughed up at James. “You should’ve seen him when we were younger. I hexed him once because he wouldn’t leave me alone about teaching me to fly, and he was so energetic  _ constantly _ about asking.”

“You said that was an accident!” James exclaimed with wide eyes. She shrugged slightly.

“It  _ was _ , but now I’d do it on purpose.”

Sirius grinned at them. “Man, I never had to deal with that with Reg. He’s so… well-behaved.”

“You say that like it’s horrible,” Lily sighed. “Regulus is a good person, he just doesn’t have the same amount of chaotic energy as you do.”

“I thought you hated him now,” Peter cut in, very confused. “You know, Death Eaters are evil, there’s no excuse?”

Lily hesitated, mostly because James and Sirius were also looking at her curiously. She and James had made up after Alexia had told her the truth, but she hadn’t gone into any details about anything else. “Lexi and I talked. She explained some things.”

“Lexi explaining things?” James raised an eyebrow. “That’s rare.”

“Rude,” Alexia muttered. “Look, it wasn’t really my choice. Pollux made me tell her a few things because she kept calling me a Death Eater.” 

“As if your bare arm wasn’t proof enough,” Sirius laughed. 

“Point is, I know she’s not, and I made a mistake,” Lily told them as she crossed her arms over her chest. 

“Anyway, Padfoot,” James spoke up. He was very willing to change the subject since it was still a sore spot for him. He’d forgiven Lily, but it still bothered him greatly that she’d ever think Alexia was anything but light, even with the dark magic she knew or the people she dated. “Moody said you’re going to start working in the Wizengamot somehow?”

Sirius let out a dramatic sigh, but he nodded. “Yeah. I’m not too excited about it, but I get to sit in the middle of the Wizengamot hall and pretend to record the sessions.”

“Well, what are you actually going to do?” Peter questioned. 

“Just cast some spells to make sure no one is using an Imperius or Confundus. I guess a few suspicious laws have been passed by the light lately, and Dumbledore’s worried.”

“I know Muciber’s the specialist in the Imperius,” Alexia spoke up. “I guess Voldemort’s asked him to teach people.”

“Dolohov told you this?” Peter asked. She shot him a glare.

“No, he didn’t. He’s not an idiot, Peter. We don’t share information about the war.” 

“This is cheery conversation for Christmas,” Lily muttered. “We could always talk about something else, you know.”

“Like  _ what _ ?” Peter questioned. “I mean, the war is our lives basically, right?”

“Not today, it isn’t.”

“Pads, d’you wanna put your ornament on our tree?” James wondered. There had been an ornament exchange earlier, and they planned to do so every year, just as they had when their parents were alive. “You didn’t decorate, right?”

Sirius frowned slightly as he looked down at the golden wand sitting on the coffee table. “We were going to put up a tree, but he got called back. We didn’t even get the chance to buy one.”

“I’m keeping all my ornaments here,” Alexia told him. She leaned back against the couch and handed her eggnog to Lily, who was eyeing it longingly. “They’ll just gather dust at Fabian and Gideon’s.”

“Why aren’t  _ you _ decorating?” 

“She doesn’t want to change anything,” James answered for her with a small sigh. “You heard her. She still thinks of it as Fabian and Gideon’s place.”

“I’m getting the sense that, generally, you don’t handle grief well,” Lily told Alexia. She shifted uncomfortably. 

“I’ll handle it when I’ve got the time to. For now, we’re all busy. I barely even have time to get my paperwork done at work, much less decorate.”

“She’s got a point,” Peter spoke up. She did her best not to glare at him. “I didn’t get to decorate, and I don’t think I work as much as her.”

“You know, I don’t think we know what you do,” Lily realized curiously. “Where do you work, Peter?”

“Oh, um,” he hesitated nervously. “I’m just an assistant right now. Sometime, I want to work at an apothecary.”

“Yeah, you did pretty well in potions, didn’t you?” Sirius nodded along. A short alarm went off and James, who had been leaning on the back of the couch, jumped up. 

“Cinnamon rolls are done!” 

* * *

**July 9th, 1979**

That day was one of the  _ very _ rare days off that Alexia found herself getting. It was because they were so rare that she found herself using them to clean, shop, and if she had time left, see her friends. It was about three in the afternoon, and she’d finally finished fixing her cooling cabinet, which had broken and spoiled most of her food. Because of that, she found herself making her way to a shop just outside of Diagon Alley that had her favorite chips. 

She was about halfway through shopping and with a decently full cart when someone bumped straight into her. She jumped back slightly and, reminding herself that she was in muggle London, did her best not to pull a dagger. They were strapped to her thighs and disillusioned, but any decently advanced witch or wizard would be able to see them. 

“Apologies,” drawled a familiar voice. Alexia took another step back and let her hand snake down toward her daggers. “Ah, I wouldn’t do that, Potter. We just want to have a chat.”

“Get away from me, Rowle,” she told him sharply. He reached for her wrist and while he did grab it, she pulled a dagger and pressed it against his hand in warning. “I will stab you again.”

His lips thinned at the reminder, but he didn’t respond. Instead, a spell hit her back and she found her dagger flying out of her hand. The light of the  _ Expelliarmus _ startled some muggles, and she saw them running away or backing up. 

“We need to have a talk,” Rowle insisted. “Come with us on your own, or we’ll have to stun you.”

Alexia, in a swift movement, grabbed her other dagger and sunk it into his stomach. He released her and she backed up and turned to run, but she was grabbed by someone else - Rookwood, who had been the one to attempt to disarm her. He grabbed her by the back of her neck and poked his wand against her back. 

“Another move and I’ll curse you.”

Rowle stumbled over to them and tore the dagger from his stomach. He tried to shove it into her shoulder, but it passed through and fell to the floor. Rookwood grabbed him with one hand and Alexia with the other and Apparated them away. 

* * *


End file.
